


The Never Ending Story

by Morgana_avalon



Category: Alexander (2004)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 20:03:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 231,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18373118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: A police officer and a university professor find they have more in common than they ever thought possible (or, do *you* believe in reincarnation?)





	1. Chapter 1

Never-ending Story

 

We're part of a story, part of a tale  
We're all on this journey  
No one is to stay  
Where ever is it going  
What is the way?  
We're part of a story, part of a tale  
Sometimes beautiful and sometimes insane  
No one remembers how it began.

Never-ending Story Lyrics by Within Temptation

 

Besik Bay. He had saved his money for years to visit this legendary place and now he was finally here. 

The blond man opened the car door and set foot on the Turkish soil. Scanning the grounds, he saw the remains of Troy in the distance. The legendary city was another reason he had come here. He walked toward Kum tepe, an ancient hill that rose before him. Scholars believed that this was the last resting place of Achilles and Patrocles and he was eager to get closer to it. 

His movement was slow, but his footsteps never faltered. His injury still hampered him, but he didn’t give in to the pain and continued his way over to the hill. He had been shot on the job almost a half year ago. A drug dealer had objected to being arrested and had buried a bullet in his side. The bullet had torn his lung and he had been in a critical condition for several days. That was when the dreams had started; dreams about ancient Greece and her heroes. 

Alex had always had a fascination for the things of old. His mother had been an antiques dealer and had often brought home interesting objects for him to study. As a child he had been fascinated by statues and coins and he had examined them while listening to her stories about Greece’s immortal heroes. His favorite hero had been Heracles, closely followed by Achilles.

In the hospital, he had suffered from fever-driven hallucinations and those dreams had been about Heracles, Achilles, and even Alexander the Great, the Macedon King his mother had named him after. Those dreams had pulled him through rehab, which had been hell. Remembering his heroes’ suffering had helped him cope and had made him determined to make a full recovery. His side had hurt terribly and he had been short of breath for months. In the end, the doctors had released him, telling him to rest and to limit any strenuous actions to a minimum. 

He was beginning to pant and it became obvious that he had overworked himself by hiking to the hill. He should have taken the jeep instead. But taking the car that close to the hill didn’t seem right; it almost felt sacrilegious. 

His heart beat began to race due to overexertion. His doctor had probably been right to tell him to keep off his feet, but he had always been stubborn and this pain was just something else he needed to overcome. He was determined not to give in to his discomfort.

Life had treated him kindly until six months ago. His mother had done a good job raising him. He hadn’t really missed having his father around. His father, Phil, had never been much of a father and his mother had kicked him to the curb the last time he had returned home drunk and covered in lipstick marks. He had applauded her decision and their life had become more peaceful and comfortable once Phil was out of the picture. 

Ever since he had been a little boy, he had wanted to join the army, but in the end he had joined the police force. He had been about to be promoted to Captain of his squad when he had unfortunately been shot. The injury had ended his career and had forced him to officially retire. 

He pressed his hand against his side which was hurting. It was a warm day and sweat poured from his brow. He quickly wiped it away with a corner of his sleeve and continued towards the hill. 

~~~

He stood at the foot of the man-made hill and tried to imagine what this place would have looked like the day Achilles was laid to rest here. Patrocles, Achilles’ lover, was also said to have found his last resting place here. Was it true? Were Achilles and Patrocles’ bodies really inside this hill? And why did he feel such an insane urge to remove his clothes and dance to a melody only he could hear? Was he losing his mind? 

“Hello.”

The man’s voice took him by surprise and Alex spun around. The movement only caused the ache in his side to flare and he bit his bottom lip in an attempt not to cry out. The sun stood high in the sky and cast a shadow over the man now standing in front of him. Alex’s eyes narrowed, trying to make out the stranger’s features. Whoever he was, he was quite tall and muscular. Long, auburn hair framed the face, whose features he still couldn’t see. The stranger was dressed in a sleeveless shirt and faded jeans. 

“Hello,” Alex replied belatedly. His instincts, which had saved his life many times on the job, kicked him, making him cautious. What were the odds of running into someone else in the middle of nowhere?

“Are you looking for anything in particular?” 

The stranger took a step forward and the sun no longer kept Alex from studying him. The first thing that struck him was the deep blue eyes. They possessed the azure of the Mediterranean Sea and, looking into them, he thought he heard waves crashing onto the shore. They were quite something, those eyes. A strong jaw line, full lips, and the open expression on the stranger’s features made Alex decide that the other man presented no threat. 

“Actually, yes. I was told that this hill contains the remains of Achilles and Patrocles and I was looking for evidence.” 

The stranger nodded his head once. “Heinrich Schliemann believed that this is Achilles’ tomb. I think he is right.” There was something about the way that this blond man cocked his head that made him want to approach. It was like an invisible cord was pulling him closer and he moved forward. “Most people call me Hef.” He raised his hand and offered it to the blond man. 

“My name is Alex.” Alex accepted the hand and shook it. “So what brings you out here, Hef?”

“Archeology is a hobby of mine. I came here for the same reason you did.” He came to a standstill next to Alex and joined the other man in staring at the hill. “It is quite an awe-inspiring thought that Achilles and Patrocles are buried here.” 

Alex nodded once. “It is. That is why I came here. Do you know if anyone ever ventured inside that hill to see if the legend is true? Is this really their last resting place?”

“It is a legend, Alex. Part of the fascination is not knowing the truth. At least, now, we can pretend this hill is their last resting place.” 

Alex turned his head and studied the other man. Long, auburn hair, slightly curly, cascaded down the neck and reached below Hef’s shoulder blades. In an exotic way, his new companion was attractive. Alex had realized his sexual preference a long time ago and, thanks to his mother’s acceptance, he had grown comfortable with being gay. 

“It is special, don’t you agree? That they were put to rest together. It is said that they were lovers.” The azure eyes sparkled and fastened on him, making his heart beat a little faster. 

“History offers enough evidence to prove they were lovers.” A sad expression appeared in the blue eyes. “Achilles went mad with grief after losing Patrocles and showed Hector no mercy. In their time, it was normal to have a male lover.” 

“But was it also normal that such a relationship lasted a life time?” Alex had done his research. “Weren’t they supposed to grow out of it and marry?”

“They were married, Alex, to each other.” The soft, golden voice now possessed a dreamy tone. “They must have exchanged vows of eternal love.” 

Alex continued to study his new companion and wondered if he had reached the right conclusion. His instincts told him that something special was happening and that he should pay attention to it. “I can very well imagine being with one man for my entire life.” He sucked in his breath. He had voiced it that way on purpose, bluntly stating he was gay with that admission. Sparkling eyes smiled at him and Alex knew he had guessed correctly. 

“So can I, Alex.” Hef obviously saw no reason to hide this side of his personality now that Alex had revealed something that personal about himself. 

What were the odds of him meeting another gay man at Achilles’ resting place? /Very slim odds indeed./ Alex became increasingly aware of the other man’s scent and he inhaled the spicy fragrance. “Are you on vacation?” He cringed as his desperation to break the silence between them had resulted in something that lame.

“Yes, I am on a break,” Hef replied. “I am staying in a hotel near Gülpınar. It is a small town, but the people there are friendly and it is close to Troy.” 

“I drove out here without thinking of securing lodging first,” Alex admitted. “It happened on the spur of the moment.”

That statement caused his companion to chuckle. “Impulsive character?”

Alex echoed the chuckling. “I guess so.”

“There are still vacancies in the hotel I am staying in. Maybe you should try your luck there?” The idea of getting to know Alex appealed to Hef. There was something in the brown eyes filled with golden specks that attracted him. 

“I will do that.” Alex gave the hill one last look. “Do you want to stay here or…?”

“We can drive back to the hotel.” He noticed the exhausted look on Alex’s face. “You look like you would like to freshen up and get some rest.” He also noticed the way Alex pressed a hand against his side. 

Alex felt the inquiring blue eyes upon his form and realized he had to offer some kind of explanation. “I was injured some time ago.”

“How?” Hef hadn’t meant to ask Alex so directly, but the word had slipped out. 

“I am a cop. It happened on the job while I was chasing a drug dealer. Unfortunately he hit target.”

“I am sorry to hear that.” Hef began to walk Alex back to his jeep. He would collect his own car shortly. “Where are you from?” The accent vexed him.

“Alexandria, Virginia. I was born and raised there. I joined the police force when I was twenty.” Seeing the other man’s interested look, he added, “I am twenty-four now.”

“I am one year older than you are.” Hef waited for Alex to get into his car. However, he grew concerned, seeing the pained expression on Alex’s pale face. “Follow me. I will guide you.” 

“Thanks.” Alex closed the car door and watched Hef’s form until the other man disappeared from his view. A few moments later, a green Volvo appeared to his right and, after starting his car, he followed it. He was looking forward to lying down and getting some sleep. This trip had already exhausted him more that he wanted to admit. But meeting Hef had been worth the exertion.

~~~

The drive took about an hour and Alex was fighting his fatigue by the time they pulled up to the small hotel. He shut down the engine and rested his hands and forehead on the steering wheel. Pain spiraled up from his side; it hadn’t been this bad in weeks! He should have listened to his doctor, but he had always been too stubborn for his own good. Unexpectedly, the door opened and Hef’s concerned face appeared. “I am fine.”

“No, you are not.” Hef extended a hand and helped Alex to his feet. He assisted Alex when they walked into the lobby and steadied him while he talked to the receptionist. Within minutes, two keys were pressed into his hand. “You can fill in the forms later.” The receptionist had seen the state his newest customer was in and had been lenient. “I will take you to your room.” Which was rather conveniently located next to his. “Are you sure you are supposed to be up and walking about yet?”

“I overestimated my strength,” Alex admitted in a pained tone. He stared at the floor, trying to put one foot in front of the other. Hef opened the door and guided him inside. The sun still shone and illuminated the room, which was small, but clean and comfortable. Alex felt relieved, finally being able to lie down and he stretched out onto the bed. “Thanks.”

“Do you need help or…?” Not wanting to impose, Hef waited for Alex to answer. 

“Thank you, but I only need to rest.” The brown eyes began to close and he listened to Hef walking toward the doorway. “You have a strange name,” Alexander mumbled. “I don’t think I ever met someone called Hef before.”

“It is short for Hephaestion.”

Alex’s eyes opened and he raised his head so he could look into those azure eyes. “What?”

“My father always had a great interest in Greek culture and he named me after Alexander’s lover.” Hef shrugged. “It is a long and awkward name, so I tell people to call me Hef instead.” He wondered about the puzzled look in those hooded eyes. Was Alex feverish? Maybe he should check. His feet carried him back to the bed and he sat down on the side, placing his hand on the other man’s brow. “You feel warm.” 

“Your father called you Hephaestion?” The moment Alex spoke the name, he quivered. 

“He is a professor and obsessed with Greek history. It doesn’t really surprise me that he chose that name.” Hef's fingers continued to linger upon the sweaty brow, caressing the damp skin there. “I feel like I know you,” he whispered in an unguarded moment.

“I feel the same way, Hephaestion.” The name rolled surprisingly easy from his lips and sounded right. “I was named after Alexander the Great, you know.” He grinned, wickedly, and gave Hephaestion a wink. “Maybe this is fate telling us that we were meant to be together.”

“Alexander and Hephaestion were lovers, like Achilles and Patrocles.” Hef hoped Alex wasn’t just smooth talking to get him into bed. He wasn’t like that. “I should let you rest now. Maybe you would like to join me for dinner in an hour?”

“Make that two and you have got company.” Alex’s eyes closed again; Hephaestion’s fingers continued to brush his brow in a gentle manner and the caress was putting him to sleep, but not before whispering, “May I… call you… Hephaestion?” That name suited the other man much better than ‘Hef’.

“If that is what you want.” Only Hef's father called him that. His friends usually went for Hef, but he had to admit that the name sounded much better rolling from Alex’s lips. 

“Thanks,” whispered Alex, already half asleep. He rubbed his brow against the gentle fingers, taking comfort in having the other man close. Never before had he trusted someone so easily or so completely and he simply went to sleep, knowing very well how vulnerable he was making himself.

Hephaestion found that he didn’t want to leave his charge’s side yet. An incredible protectiveness and worry had come over him since meeting Alex. He didn’t believe in love at first sight, nor had he fooled himself into believing that. Right now, he wasn’t sure of anything anymore. The only thing that remained was this urge to remain close to Alex and pull the other man into his arms. 

In the end, the rational part of him got the upper hand and he pushed himself to his feet, regretting deserting Alex’s side. He almost leaned down to press a kiss onto Alex’s lips. It was like his hands and feet were tied to invisible ropes that controlled his every movement. His vision grew blurry and his environment changed.

He stood in the middle of a camp crowded with soldiers, merchants, and women. Shouting sounded from all over and a large horse was brought his way. Looking down at his body, he realized he was no longer wearing his shirt and jeans. Instead, he wore a tunic and armor. A sword was girded around his waist and someone placed a helmet on his head. Before he knew what he was doing, he was mounting the horse and calling out to the soldiers.

The next moment the vision was gone and he shook his head in order to clear his thoughts. He had been daydreaming. These last few days he had spent exploring Troy and today he had visited Kum tepe. His imagination had simply gotten the better of him. Maybe it was best he also rested before dinner. 

Looking over his shoulder at the sleeping man on the bed, he was struck with another vision. He was walking into a tent and a fair-haired man turned to welcome him with a kiss. /My Alexander,/ he whispered in his vision and the other man smiled, kissing him even more passionately. The vision left as quickly as it had come and he shivered, wondering what was happening to him. He had never suffered from such daydreams before! 

He closed the door behind him and rested his back against it. His pulse raced and he could still taste the sweetness of those lips which had been pressed against his. /My imagination is getting the better of me. We talked about Achilles and Patrocles, about their love and then he tells me that his name is Alexander. My subconscious made him into Alexander the Great and I… I was Hephaestion in that daydream just now./ 

Oh, great. Not only was he falling in love with Alex, but his imagination had decided to become overly active as well! “I need some sleep,” he whispered, shaking his head as he entered his room. He let himself fall onto the bed, hugged a pillow, and closed his eyes. His last thought was how much he regretted that he was holding a pillow and not Alex.

~~~

Alex’s sleep wasn’t as peaceful as he had hoped. His dreams were filled with battle scenes, blood, and screaming, but thankfully there were also peaceful moments. Standing upon a balcony and looking out over a city, he felt movement to his left and looked up. The man who now appeared at his side wore a white and red tunic and had long, auburn hair. It was the eyes which startled Alex awake though; eyes as cool and refreshing as the sea. 

His breathing came in gasps and he tried to compose himself. The dreams hadn’t left. Visiting Achilles’ tomb hadn’t exorcised them as he had hoped and now a new element had been added to them: Hephaestion. He had instantly recognized his new companion. /What is he doing in my dreams? Did he impress me that much?/ For one short moment, it felt like fingers brushed his lips and strands of silken hair caressed his face. His visions were growing worse then. Now he was even experiencing them while he was awake!

Alex pushed himself into an upright position and concentrated on his breathing. The rest had done wonders for his side, which had stopped hurting, but now his head hurt from all the questions swirling about in it. His doctor had subscribed a mild sedative, which he could take if the dreams continued to bother him, but attending dinner in a drugged state didn’t appeal to him. Not when Hephaestion was there as well. 

/Hephaestion. The name suits him; feels right for him./ He raised a hand and supported his head, realizing his subconscious had been quite busy during his sleep, making his new companion into Alexander’s Hephaestion. Talking about the Greek heroes had seriously affected his dreams. 

He couldn’t quite explain the interest in Hephaestion or the sudden attraction he felt toward the other man. Maybe it was the blue eyes in which he threatened to drown in each time he looked into them. Maybe it was the luscious lips, which he desperately wanted to kiss. /I am losing my mind./ 

He was twenty-four years old and in all those years he had never really been in love. Oh, he had been attracted to men: men with long, brown hair and blue eyes, but he had never made love to any of them. Something told him that he shouldn’t waste such a precious gift and that he should wait for the right person to come along. 

Could that person be Hephaestion? Wouldn’t it be an amazing twist of fate if this Hephaestion and he ended up as lovers? /I cannot think these things. Who knows, maybe he isn’t even interested in me in that way./ But he instantly realized that he was trying to fool himself. The interest was mutual; he had seen it in the way Hephaestion had looked at him and why else would the other man check his brow for fever? /My poor head is spinning… Please make it stop!/ 

A sudden knock on the door startled him and he checked the time. Damn, almost two hours had past by!

“Alex? Am I too early? I can come back later if you are not ready yet.” 

“No, you can come inside. I was still asleep until a moment ago.” Alex ran a hand through his tangled hair. During his time with the force he had kept it short, but now he was letting it grow and it reached just below his ears. 

The door opened and Hephaestion hesitantly stepped inside. “Are you still tired? Do you want me to ask the cook to have some food brought to your room?” He closed the door behind him but remained near the doorway. 

Alex drew in a deep breath, looking at the heavenly vision. Hephaestion had used his time better than he had and had showered. His hair was still slightly wet and clung to the handsome face. He had changed into indigo jeans and a blue shirt, which brought out his eyes even more. Realizing he was practically drooling, Alex broke eye contact. “Give me ten and I will join you.” He pushed himself to his feet and disappeared into the bathroom to splash some water onto his face. Looking into the mirror, the face that looked back at him struck him as odd. It was his face and at the same time it wasn’t. 

Hephaestion felt nervous. These last two hours had been unnerving. After he had gone to sleep, his daydreams had continued. He had found himself on horseback, riding next to Alex, who wore a red tunic and golden armor. White wings had been attached to the other man’s helmet and Alex had continued to talk to him. Alex hadn’t been speaking English and yet he had understood perfectly. Alex had spoken of wars, conquest, and expanding the empire. He still remembered the words he had heard before waking up. ‘I want the world,’ Alex had said, before leaning in closer and squeezing his knee. He had woken with a film of sweat covering his body. The dream had been intense.

“I am ready to go.” Alex would have preferred to sleep some more, but his stomach growled, reminding him that he needed to eat. “Lead on.” He walked up to Hephaestion and smiled at the other man, feeling much better and stronger now that he was back at his side again. Hephaestion unexpectedly turned and Alex’s fingers brushed the other man’s hand. Sparks flew and their fingers immediately curled around each other, intertwining tightly. 

And suddenly they were back upon that balcony, staring at each other.

Both men shared the same vision, saw the same city at their feet, and heard the soft music of a flutist nearby. 

“I love only you, Hephaestion. I trust only you. You are my heart… The guardian of my sanity. Without you, I am nothing.” 

In Babylon, Alexander the Great had once spoken these words and now Alex was repeating them in this hotel room. The two voices melted together and jolted the men out of their trance-like state. They stared at each other, baffled and scared.

Hephaestion moistened his lips and found strength in the fact that Alex’s fingers were curled around his, even rubbing the back of his hand. “I have been daydreaming. It has been happening for some time now.”

“What do you see with those incredible eyes?”

Hephaestion blushed, being complimented in such a way. “We stood upon a balcony, overlooking an ancient city and you said…” He didn’t get a chance to finish as Alex interrupted him. 

“I said that I loved only you and trusted only you. That you were my heart and guarded my sanity.”

“You said; without you I am nothing,” Hephaestion finished for him. “You experienced the exact same thing? How is that possible?”

“I called you Hephaestion and you wore a tunic… In your hand you held a goblet filled with wine.” Alex swallowed, growing increasingly nervous seeing Hephaestion nod. “What is happening to us?”

“I don’t know,” Hephaestion whispered. “I only know that I need to touch you – to make certain that you are real.”

Alex didn’t object when Hephaestion pulled him into an embrace. He went willingly and rested his head against the other man’s chest. He didn’t know either what was happening to them, but at least it was happening to both of them. 

~~~

Alex listened to Hephaestion placing their order in fluent Greek and realized how little he knew about the other man. Maybe it was time to even the odds. “Where did you learn Greek?” His right hand, hidden beneath the table, clasped Hephaestion’s tightly in his. The waiter had given them an odd look and they had decided to be discreet, holding hands beneath the table. 

Hephaestion placed the menu aside and gave Alex a stunning smile. “My father taught me.”

“I know so little about you. Would you please tell me more? Where were you born?” Alex rubbed Hephaestion’s fingers, amazed at how familiar the touch was. 

“I was born in Washington, but my father moved to Britain when the University of Essex offered him a position. He still teaches History there. I followed in his footsteps and teach Philosophy. With a father who is obsessed about anything Greek I learned the language when I was still little. At the age of ten, my Greek was far better than my English.” Hephaestion chuckled, seeing Alex’s glittering eyes. “Does that please you?” 

“You are still very young to be a professor, aren’t you?”

“I am a genius,” Hephaestion replied, only half joking. It was true though. He had aced every course on History, Philosophy, and Ancient Languages. He had made his father proud. “I use my vacations to explore sites of historic interests and this year I wanted to see Troy.”

“I am glad you did.” Alex moistened his lips. “I am glad that we met.” 

The waiter brought them a carafe filled with red wine and poured the potent liquid into the glasses. Hephaestion raised his glass first and Alex said, “Here is to us, Alexander and Hephaestion in ancient Greece.” The moment he spoke those words his mind was whirled back in time and through his physical contact with Hephaestion, he pulled the other man into the past as well.

~~~

They were in bed… In a big, comfortable bed with silk sheets. The room was large and decorated with tapestries, golden statues, and flowers. High above their heads a fan pleated banner moved about, bringing them cool air. It was hot, in spite of the fan and the evening breeze that entered through the open windows. 

“Where are we?” Hephaestion sat upright and the silk sheet slid from his body, revealing his naked form beneath it. He quickly grabbed hold of the sheet and fought the fierce blush that settled on his face. “Alex?”

Alex blinked; he was naked as well and felt hot beneath the sheet. Doing away with modesty, he kicked the sheet off and looked about. “This is different.” In his past dreams, things had happened to him, but now he felt like he was in charge, like he could control the situation. Looking into Hephaestion’s eyes, Alex saw unease in them. “I don’t know what is happening either.”

“We are not dreaming, are we?”

“I don’t think so.” Alex cocked his head and the evening breeze moved through his hair, toying with the strands. 

“You strike me still,” Hephaestion whispered, his mouth growing awfully dry, seeing Alex cock his head in such a way. “I will always love you.” The words escaped him unintended and he shocked himself by addressing the other man in that way. “I love you? Why would I say that?”

Hephaestion’s outcry puzzled Alex, but it also greatly pleased him that the other man would say such a thing. He crossed his legs, rested his elbows on his knees, and his chin in the palm of his hand. “I need to think.” 

“My King?” 

A third person entered the room and Alex, as well as Hephaestion, sucked in his breath in surprise. The boy, hardly a man, was of exquisite beauty. Straight, raven hair danced against the small of his back, obscuring part of his chest, but not his handsome face. The boy was dressed in a black cloak, which matched the deep dark color of his hair. 

“Who are you?” Alex was the first to gather his senses and to address the new arrival.

“I am Bagoas, Al’skander.” The boy frowned, displeased. “Did you drink too much wine?”

The next moment their surroundings faded and changed. They sat in the dining area of the hotel once more, still holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes. 

“That was… scary,” Hephaestion whispered, ill at ease. His daydreams had never been that real before. For one moment, he had actually been in that room. He still smelled the sweet fragrance of the flowers that had stood close to the bed. 

Alex closed his eyes so he could center himself. “Did you hear what that boy said?”

“He addressed you as his King and called himself Bagoas.” Hephaestion nervously sipped his wine. “I have heard that name before.”

“You have?” The brown eyes opened and fastened on azure ones. “Tell me.”

“It is the name of a eunuch. Most scholars think he was one of Alexander’s lovers. Alexander the Great took the youth with him on most of his campaigns. It is said that he was of extraordinary beauty.” Hephaestion squeezed Alex’s fingers beneath the table. “He called you ‘Al’skander’. I read a book once… I have forgotten who wrote it, but in that book Bagoas pronounced your name like that. He never quite mastered pronouncing it correctly.”

“My name?” Alex raised an eyebrow. Yes, his name was Alexander, but he always shortened it to Alex. “Why would we dream of him?”

“I don’t think it was a dream, my Alexander.”

“What did you call me?” His heart had missed a beat hearing those two last words spoken in such a gentle tone. It was like he had heard them a million times before. 

Hephaestion composed himself, having noticed his slip. “I don’t know what made me say that.” 

Alex leaned in closer and searched Hephaestion’s confused eyes. “We are not delusional, in case you are wondering. We are experiencing the same thing and we can actually act in our ‘dreams’. Let’s call them that until we know what is really happening.”

Hephaestion reached for his glass and this time he emptied it. He was growing more anxious with the moment. “What if it happens again?”

“We need to find out why this is happening to us.” Alex nodded his head once, thinking that it might be a good idea to question this Bagoas if they should meet him again. “In the meantime, we should stay close to each other. That way we can help snap each other out of these ‘dreams’.” Hephaestion gave him a shy look and Alex just knew the other man was struggling with something. It was almost bizarre the way he could read the other man. “What is it?”

“May I call you Alexander instead of Alex?” 

“Why?” He blinked; he hadn’t expected that request.

“Because it feels right.”

He considered Hephaestion’s words. “I feel the same way about calling you Hephaestion.” 

“Do you…” Hephaestion bit his bottom lip, but continued after receiving another squeeze from the other man’s hand. “Do you believe in reincarnation? That our souls return to make peace with events left unfinished in the past? Some people even think that we reincarnate in groups. I have studied this, Alexander.”

Alexander felt speechless at first. He wasn’t religious and had never considered that there could be higher powers that enjoyed toying with mere mortals, but Hephaestion’s theory could explain their situation. “Do you really think this is possible?”

“During my studies, I encountered many things that couldn’t be explained in a normal way.” Hephaestion had to briefly let go of Alexander’s hand as the waiter placed their orders in front of them. The moment the waiter was gone, their fingers entwined again. “The other option is that we are experiencing group delusions, but then again, why are only *we* affected? The people around us seem undisturbed.”

“Our ‘dreams’ intensified after we met.” Alexander was also at a loss to explain this. “Do you really think we were someone else in the past? And that our souls came back?”

“Not just someone,” Hephaestion whispered, careful that no one could hear them. “Bagoas called you Alexander… That would make you…”

“Alexander the Great?” Alexander shook his head. “I can’t believe that, Hephaestion…” But his voice suddenly lacked conviction speaking the other man’s name. “You are Hephaestion… Hephaestion…” A revelation tugged at the edges of his mind, but eluded him. “There must be another explanation.”

Hephaestion leaned back in his chair, but didn’t release his hold on Alexander’s hand. “Just wait until the next ‘dream’ comes upon us.” 

He didn’t even want to consider their next ‘dream’ at this point. Alexander swallowed hard. His stomach growled, reminding him it demanded food and he ate, but without much of an appetite. His thoughts worried him. Hephaestion couldn’t be right, but then again… The dreams also pointed in that direction. /It is nonsense. It can’t be./

Hephaestion followed Alexander’s example and began to eat. His eyes had narrowed in thought. He agreed with Alexander that his theory was farfetched, but so far, it was the only explanation he could come up with.

~~~

The visions left them alone for the rest of the evening. They remained alert, ready to notice the first sign that the dream would take hold of them. But nothing happened and that only worsened the tension. 

They spent their evening eating and talking, occasionally sipping their wine, but never to a point that they grew intoxicated. The last thing they wanted was to make it even easier for the visions to grab hold of them. 

From where they were sitting, they looked out over part of the sea, forests, and a small village. Alexander rose from his chair, walked toward the balustrade, and placed his hands upon it. He wasn’t surprised when Hephaestion immediately followed him. Hephaestion’s hand came to rest against the small of his back and the intimate gesture made him smile. Butterflies did somersaults inside his stomach and one look at Hephaestion’s blue eyes told him that the other man was experiencing the same magic. 

“Do you think this magic will continue or shall it be gone after tonight?” It was beautiful here, no, Hephaestion *was* beautiful. 

Hephaestion leaned against Alexander and pulled him closer. “This baffles me too, Alexander. We only met a few hours ago, but I am not certain I can live without you. That thought scares me. You call it magic and maybe that is what it is. I never believed in magic, though.” 

“What do you feel? Right now, Hephaestion?” Alexander cocked his head in order to study Hephaestion’s eyes and caught the admiration in them. But there was more than just admiration in those pools of blue. Could it be love?

“I feel like I have been here before. Like I have done this before. We stood on a balcony before and we talked.” Hephaestion drew in a deep breath and stared at the midnight sky, the stars, and the full moon. “What do you feel, Alexander?”

“I feel need. I feel the need to hold you close and to never let you go again. I hope you don’t think me forward, but… but would you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone.” Alexander placed his hands on Hephaestion’s shoulders and turned the other man around until they were face to face. “I want to fall asleep holding you in my arms. This is not a trick to get you into my bed, Hephaestion. I really need to feel you close.”

“How can I possibly deny you?” Hephaestion’s eyes swam with unshed tears. “I want to be close to you tonight, but I am not ready…”

“Neither am I. Nothing intimate will take place. I merely want to hold you, Hephaestion. Inhale your scent, feel your hair move against my face, and your skin beneath my fingertips.” Alexander leaned in closer, uncaring if anyone was watching and judging them. “I need you, Hephaestion. I always did.” He didn’t know what had made him add that last part, but it was true. 

Hephaestion folded an arm around Alexander’s waist and rested his cheek against the other man’s shoulder. “I feel like I have been in your arms a million times before. You feel so familiar, Alexander.”

A soft smile played on Alexander’s face. “Maybe you are right and our souls have been reincarnated. But what are the odds of us finding each other?”

“Alexander, it took us over two thousand years to find each other…” Looking into Alexander’s eyes, Hephaestion saw acceptance in them. 

“I don’t care why we are having these visions, Hephaestion.” Alexander couldn’t get enough of pronouncing that name. “The only thing that matters is that I am falling in love with you and that you return my feelings. If I have to thank our visions for that, I will. I don’t care.”

Hephaestion chuckled. “I never met anyone like you before, my Alexander.” He realized he had said it again and blushed. “It comes naturally.” 

“My room or yours?” Alexander asked his question in a playful, teasing tone. 

“Mine,” Hephaestion decided. He had already unpacked while Alexander’s luggage was still in the car.

“I can’t believe you agreed to that!” Alexander embraced Hephaestion and held him close. “The brightest star in the sky pales in comparison to your eyes, Hephaestion. I will never tire of looking into them.” The compliment made Hephaestion blush and Alexander took a step away from the other man, gently pulling him back inside. “We should rest while we can. Who knows when the dreams will return.”

“That is *if* they return. They left us alone so far.”

Alexander shook his head. “This is the calm before the storm, Hephaestion. This is merely the beginning.”

“How can you be so certain of that?” Hephaestion fell into step next to Alexander now that they were on the way back to his room. 

“I can feel it,” Alexander stated in an ominous voice. “The worst is yet to come.”

~~~

Once they were in Hephaestion’s room, they faced some minor problems. 

“I usually sleep naked.” Hephaestion’s features revealed uncertainty. Alexander and he had met this very day and it wasn’t like him to slip into bed naked on the first night with someone. But did that also apply here? Looking into Alexander’s eyes, he realized they looked incredibly familiar. Everything about Alexander felt familiar and sleeping close to the other man would feel familiar as well, but still he remained hesitant. 

“So do I.” Alexander gave Hephaestion a lopsided grin. “I don’t mind getting naked, do you?” The truth was that he couldn’t wait to pull Hephaestion close and to feel the other man’s warm body pressed against his. 

Hephaestion made his decision and began to remove his clothes. “It’s much too warm to sleep with clothes on.” Even the night’s air felt hot and stifling. He felt Alexander’s eyes on him as he dropped his jeans onto the floor. 

Alexander gave Hephaestion a wicked grin. “Do you always go commando?”

“Only when it is hot.” Hephaestion fought down a blush and slipped between the sheets. Had he been alone, he would have lain down atop of them, but right now, he felt too vulnerable. This was still new.

Alexander followed Hephaestion’s example and shrugged out of his shirt. Next were the jeans and underwear. He heard how Hephaestion drew in a sharp breath and, following the direction of the other man’s eyes, he found it rested on the scar which disfigured his side. “The surgeon said the scar would continue to improve. It takes time.”

Images from the past returned to Hephaestion and his eyes widened. “You were wounded before…”

Seeing the startled look on the other man’s face, Alexander quickly covered the distance to the bed and stretched out beside Hephaestion. “What are you remembering?” He cupped Hephaestion’s cheek in the palm of his hand and rubbed the skin. The eyes remained wide and Alexander could only guess what images were flooding Hephaestion’s mind. “Talk to me!”

Hephaestion blinked and swallowed hard. Blindly, he reached for Alexander’s hand and curled his fingers around it. By establishing this connection, he allowed Alexander to share his vision.

Alexander hissed in surprise as his mind was catapulted back into a life he had once lived, millennia ago. 

“Look what I removed from the wound.” Alexander raised a hand, showing Bagoas and Hephaestion a remnant of the arrow that had buried itself in his side during battle. “Maybe now the wound will stop hindering me.”

“You should remain off your feet,” Hephaestion whispered, signaling Bagoas that he should dispose of the splinter. “Lie down and rest.”

Alexander gave both men a fond smile. “The two of you spoil me.”

“If we don’t no one will.” Hephaestion leaned in closer and pressed a kiss onto Alexander’s hair. “You need to recover, my Alexander.”

The vision suddenly deserted them and thrust them back into the present. Alexander trembled against Hephaestion and the other man instantly wrapped his arms around him, pulling Alexander closer. 

“Can it be that history is repeating itself?” Alexander closed his eyes, fighting down the memories of a pain he had suffered long ago. The discomfort in his side which he was experiencing now didn’t compare to the agony he had been in millennia ago. He deeply inhaled Hephaestion’s familiar scent and let go of the tension that had been building inside him. Resting in Hephaestion’s arms felt like coming home.

“I don’t hope so,” Hephaestion replied eventually. “Hephaestion died when he was a little over thirty. Alexander only lived a few months longer than Hephaestion did. Books state that he went mad after losing his lover.” Holding Alexander in his arms felt natural, like the other man was supposed to be in them. Did he stand a chance fighting this? Did he want to fight this? Why would he? 

“But I sustained a wound similar to which he did.” Alexander felt like he was losing his mind. Was he actually accepting these dreams as real? 

“But many other things which happened to Alexander the Great didn’t happen to you.” Hephaestion tucked Alexander’s golden head beneath his chin and tightened his hold on him. “We make our own destiny, Alexander.”

Alexander smiled against Hephaestion’s chest. Although the vision had upset him, Hephaestion’s presence was already helping him to calm down. He focused on the feel of Hephaestion’s warm body pressed against his and sighed. “You should have said that over two thousand years ago, Hephaestion. Maybe you even did.”

Hephaestion rubbed Alexander’s back, making certain he stayed clear of the other man’s side. “Fate has thrust us together, hasn’t it? I can feel it, Alexander. My body recognizes yours. My fingertips mapped your skin a long time ago.”

Alexander raised his head to look into Hephaestion’s eyes. “I have no lover, Hephaestion. I never had one. Something told me to wait.”

Hephaestion moistened his lips. Desire rose in his groin, but he also knew it was still too early. These visions were unbalancing them and they needed more time to deal with these revelations. “Does this mean we will be lovers then?”

“If you are still single, I would love to have you.” Alexander’s heart missed a beat, realizing he didn’t know if Hephaestion had left a lover behind in Britain.

“You already have me.” Hephaestion drew a deep breath and nodded his head once determinedly. “I feel lost looking into your eyes.”

“That is my line.” Alexander smiled, wickedly. “In my dreams, your eyes are as blue as they are now.”

“And you look the same as well.” Hephaestion’s fingers moved through Alexander’s hair and traveled downward to massage the tense shoulder muscles. “I feel drained, though.” The visions brought tension with them and even fear; they were wearing him down. The expression in Alexander’s eyes told him that the other man was also affected.

“We should try to rest.” Alexander enjoyed being held in such an intimate way. 

“You are right of course.” Hephaestion surprised himself by kissing the crown of Alexander’s hair. “I have done this before. I know that! Your scent is so familiar…” 

“I know what you are trying to say,” Alexander whispered, slowly dozing off. “I never want to let go again either.” He hadn’t known just how incomplete he had been – not until now.

~~~

“Who do you pray to?” Hephaestion came upon Alexander at the outskirts of the camp, staring at the face of a wooden god.

“Phobos.”

“Fear…” 

Alexander’s eyes opened and his first look was for Hephaestion, who was still asleep next to him. A deep frown was etched onto the auburn-haired man’s brow and Alexander raised his hand to soothe him. “I am here, Hephaestion.” Although he had returned to the present, the image in his head was still rather vivid. He clearly remembered the way Hephaestion had looked, still young and with a naive kind of love in his eyes. “You always were the more compassionate of the two of us.”

Hephaestion’s eyes opened and the striking blue pools of water filled with awareness. “I had another dream.”

“About Phobos.”

“You shared that dream with me.” Hephaestion couldn’t get enough of looking at Alexander. Tears lurked in his eyes and he valiantly tried to fight them back, but to no avail. A single tear escaped his eyes and Alexander caught it upon a fingertip. 

“Maybe you are right,” Alexander offered. “Maybe we are remembering our past lives.” He was beginning to warm up to that suggestion. 

“Do you really think we were Hephaestion and Alexander in another life?” Hephaestion watched how Alexander licked the salty tear from his fingertip, tasting the liquid. 

“I can’t be sure,” Alexander replied in a thoughtful voice. “But what other option do we have?”

“There might be more memories then… More frightening ones.”

“Maybe there will also be pleasant ones.” Alexander pressed as close as possible to Hephaestion and brushed the other man’s trembling lips with his. “I know your taste, Hephaestion. I have kissed you before.”

Hephaestion moaned when Alexander’s lips returned to caress his. His lips parted first and then his teeth, allowing the exploring tongue inside. The kiss was deep and tender and rocked his world. Alexander taking control felt good, felt familiar. There was that word again; everything felt familiar. 

Even the scent of sweat, horses, and blood which now invaded his nostrils felt familiar. Hephaestion blinked; they were back in the camp and in the distance he saw the face of the god, Phobos, staring back at them. They stood in front of a tent and Alexander’s arms were tightly wrapped around his shoulders. 

“Don’t worry, Hephaestion. This isn’t the end. It is the beginning.” 

Alexander’s lips, still touched to Hephaestion’s, delivered the words into the other man’s mouth. 

“I heard those words before.” Hephaestion sighed and brushed Alexander’s lips with his. 

Alexander tried to shake off the vision that plagued him and forced himself to concentrate on Hephaestion. “We were lovers once.”

“And now we are about to become lovers again?” Breathless, Hephaestion waited for Alexander to answer his question.

“I think so.” Alexander twirled a strand of Hephaestion’s long hair around a fingertip. “Actually, we already are lovers, don’t you agree? The only thing lacking is consummating this attraction.”

“I am not ready yet for that,” Hephaestion replied, honestly. “My head still spins with all these dreams and I feel like we can be catapulted back into one of those visions any moment.”

“You don’t feel safe – yet.” Alexander understood Hephaestion well. “If only these visions would show us all there is to know or left us completely alone. But showing us these glimpses makes me uncomfortable as well.” Alexander wanted to take the next step, wanted to put his hands on Hephaestion and claim what had always belonged to him, but Hephaestion was right; the visions needed to be complete before they could become intimate. They needed *all* their memories back.

“Do you want to go back to sleep?” Hephaestion’s head ached from these visions and he closed his eyes. Alexander’s hands stole up his back and one large hand cupped the back of his neck, massaging the muscles. The other hand settled on the small of his back, rubbing the area there. “Feels good,” Hephaestion whispered, growing calm and relaxed. “I don’t want this to end.”

“It won’t,” Alexander promised. “This time we will grow old together.”

“I will hold you to that promise.” Hephaestion released a deep sigh and surrendered to sleep. Alexander continued to soothe him even long after Hephaestion was soundly asleep. 

“I don’t know if we are really reincarnated souls, Hephaestion. When I think about it, it seems absurd and yet it is the only explanation which makes sense.” Alexander pressed a chaste kiss onto the auburn hair. “I really don’t care if we are the people we see in our visions. I am content holding you – looking at you. I could remain like this forever and I would never tire of watching you.” 

It was the face of love he was looking at and his eyes remained fastened on Hephaestion’s for most of the night, watching over his beloved’s sleep, and keeping the visions away for now.

~~~

Alexander felt refreshed the next morning, in spite of not having gotten much sleep. Guarding Hephaestion’s dreams had been more important than getting rest. The man in his arms had slept peacefully and was still snuggled up to him. Hephaestion felt right in his arms and Alexander wished this morning would never end. But the sun was rising, warming the air in the room, and causing Hephaestion to wake up and open his eyes. 

“Good morning,” Alexander whispered, pressing his lips upon Hephaestion’s. “I trust you slept well?”

Hephaestion blinked and yawned. “I did. Alexander, did you get any sleep?” Waking up in Alexander’s arms felt blissful and he even pressed closer, rubbing his cheek against the other man’s chest. There was no denying it: he loved Alexander. 

“Not much, but I don’t mind. I love looking at you when you sleep.” Alexander’s stomach growled, reminding them it was time to eat breakfast. “We should freshen up and eat something.”

“You can use the bathroom first.” Hephaestion regretted rolling away from Alexander, but he needed to stretch his limbs. He wasn’t used to sleeping in such close quarters. “Feel free to use my toiletries. We will get your things from the car after breakfast.” He held his breath, seeing Alexander hover above him. The fair-haired man leaned in closer and gave him a kiss full of desire and passion. /It is only a matter of time before we will make love. His fire will burn me./ Had it also burned him in the past?

“I will be quick.” Alexander pulled away from Hephaestion and rose from the bed. The sheet slipped from his body, revealing his naked form. Unable to resist temptation, he looked at Hephaestion from over his shoulder and saw a hungry expression in the cloudy eyes. He gave Hephaestion a wink and disappeared into the bathroom. 

Hephaestion rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Was it only yesterday that his life had been upended? He had never believed people when they told him that their lover was the other half of his soul, but he now knew what they meant by that. Alexander *was* the other half of his soul. He just knew it! 

~~~

“Ready!” Ten minutes later, Alexander emerged from the bathroom. He had showered, washed his hair, and slipped into the clothes he had worn yesterday. “Bathroom is all yours!” He felt better today. The visions had left them alone for a few hours and he no longer felt so extremely drained. “I am going to fetch my stuff from the car. Do you want me to put them here or in my room?” He gave Hephaestion a pleading look. 

“You can put your things in here.” He wanted Alexander here! Hephaestion pushed himself to his feet and let his hair fall in front of his face as he passed by Alexander on his way to the bathroom. Alexander’s hand suddenly brushed against his hip and a moment later the other man forcefully pulled him close. Surprised, Hephaestion met Alexander’s eyes, which held a smug and pleased expression. 

“I like the way you smell,” Alexander declared, brushing his lips against Hephaestion’s throat. “You don’t have to shower, you know.” 

Amused, Hephaestion chuckled. “Oh, trust me, I need to shower!” The night had been hot and he felt sticky all over. “Now release me, you brute.” Even their verbal bantering felt familiar.

“We have done this before,” Alexander commented, musing about their current situation. 

“I think you are right.” Hephaestion’s throat felt dry, seeing Alexander lean in closer to kiss him again. He met Alexander’s lips and took control of the kiss, tasting and exploring Alexander’s mouth. 

“Oh…” Alexander whimpered, finally breaking them apart. Kissing Hephaestion had sparked a certain reaction in his groin. /I might like it should you take control./

Hephaestion freed himself of Alexander’s hold and stepped into the bathroom, his heart pounding and the blood that ran through his veins burning him. No one had ever impressed him the way Alexander had. /I already lost my heart to him,/ he realized. /I never stood a chance fighting this./

~~~

Alexander placed his suit case next to the bed and peeked into the bathroom. Hephaestion had finished showering and had dressed in faded jeans and a white shirt. The hair was still damp and resembled a tangled mess. He watched, rather mesmerized, how Hephaestion combed his hair and smoothed it away from his face. 

“Hungry?” Hephaestion inquired as he closed the bathroom door behind him. He was relieved that the visions hadn’t returned this morning; he needed time to gather his strength. 

Alexander’s stomach replied for him, growling hard. He took hold of Hephaestion’s hand and rubbed the skin. “Please stay close?” He had felt strangely abandoned while fetching his belongings from his car. For some reason he *needed* Hephaestion close and not just today but forever.

Hephaestion easily read those emotions in Alexander’s brown eyes. “I will stay close.” He had no desire to leave Alexander’s side. 

They made their way into the room where breakfast was being served. They seated themselves and nodded gratefully when the waiter poured them black coffee. The waiter said something in Greek and Alexander gave Hephaestion a questioning look. 

“He says that he will bring breakfast in a moment,” Hephaestion said, translating the Greek into English. “What do you want to do today, Alexander?”

“I originally intended to explore Troy today, but I don’t think that is a good idea. It is more than a one hour’s drive and I am worried what will happen if a vision surprises us while we are driving.” Alexander smiled at the waiter, who was now placing the food onto their table. Their plates contained several sorts of bread, accompanied by cheese, marmalade, and honey. 

Hephaestion thanked the waiter and dug in. He was surprisingly hungry and Alexander was starving as well. 

“I feel better,” Alexander announced after wolfing down most of the food. The waiter refilled his coffee cup and he sipped the black liquid, enjoying the peace and quiet of the moment as they seemed to be the only guests. Alexander recalled Hephaestion’s question and shrugged his shoulders. “We should do something. I don’t want to stay inside all day. I would feel… cornered.”

Hephaestion nodded and rose from the table. He stepped out onto the balcony and settled down onto a comfortable chair, savoring the golden sight of the sun bathing the land in a soft glow. He smiled, seeing Alexander sit down beside him. “It is beautiful here. I considered buying a house here before… I might actually do it.” 

They nursed their coffee, sipping occasionally, and finding pleasure in each other’s company. Almost an hour passed by and the visions kept their distance, giving them this undisturbed moment.

Their hands had long made contact and their fingers had twined tightly. They didn’t pay attention to the reactions of the staff members who might see them and for a long time no one approached them. But then an old man, bent with age and supporting himself with a cane, advanced on them.

Alexander noticed him first and noted the long, grey beard, wrinkled eyes, and the lines deeply etched onto the man’s brow. He wore old, almost threadbare clothes, but the eyes were alert. “Hephaestion…” Alexander murmured, drawing his friend’s attention to the old man. It was a pity that he didn’t speak Greek. He would have liked to talk to the old man. 

The old man’s voice was deep and raw, but still carried a tender tone when he spoke. 

“What is he saying?” Alexander asked, curiously inching closer. 

Hephaestion translated what was being said for Alexander. “He wants to know why we are still here when we should be exploring the land.” 

Alexander listened to the reply Hephaestion gave, desperately trying to make sense of the strange language. “What did you say?”

“That we don’t feel well and would rather not spend the day in a car.” Hephaestion’s eyes narrowed as he listened to the old man, who was suddenly becoming rather talkative.

Alexander’s curiosity was piqued, seeing the old man gesture wildly. “Now what?”

“He says that we could visit a nearby shrine dedicated to Aphrodite. We wouldn’t need to drive; he is offering us his horse, which he keeps behind the hotel. He says it is strong enough to carry the two of us.”

The offer sounded tempting. “Have you ever ridden a horse?” Alexander inquired.

Hephaestion nodded his head. “I have. How about you?”

“No, I haven’t.” Alexander shook his head. “Do you think it would be safe for us to accept his offer?”

“As long as we don’t drive we should be fine. A horse will be careful should we fall into a trance-like state. They are sensible creatures.” Hephaestion searched Alexander’s eyes. “Do you want to accept his offer?” 

“I would like to do some exploring.” Alexander squeezed Hephaestion’s hand, ignoring the odd look the old man gave him. “We should pay him for this information.” 

Hephaestion offered the old man money, but the Greek raised his hand and shook his head. “He doesn’t want any.” The old man gestured for them to rise from their chairs and Hephaestion got to his feet first, pulling Alexander along. “He wants us to see his horse.”

Alexander followed, feeling curious and alert. The thought of exploring the lands with Hephaestion at his side excited him. They had finally reached the meadow the horse was grazing in and Alexander halted abruptly. The black stallion raised his broad, powerful head and their gazes met. 

The old man suddenly spoke – rather loudly – and shook Alexander from his stupor. 

Hephaestion swallowed, nervously, now that he had to translate the other man’s words. “He says his name is Bouke…”

“Boukephalos,” Alexander finished. The old man grinned a toothless smile and gestured for him to approach the stallion, which Alexander promptly did. The stallion’s ears showed alertness and warm breath escaped the trembling nostrils. Alexander raised his right hand and placed it onto the warm nose. The stallion wasn’t nervous and pushed against the limb. “It is him.”

Hephaestion’s thoughts raced. He had read books about Alexander, the man’s life and his adventures and he recognized the name Alexander the Great had given his horse after taming it. He felt dizzy all of a sudden and closed his eyes. Opening them, he found that their surroundings had changed. The old man was gone and they stood inside an arena. The black stallion passed him by with a small boy on his back – a boy, who he recognized to be Alexander. Another blink of his eyes and he was back in the present. One look at Alexander told him that his friend had also revisited the past.

“How can this be?” Alexander questioned while rubbing the stallion’s warm nose. 

“Maybe fate is trying to tell us something.” Hephaestion placed his hand over Alexander’s and rubbed the stallion’s head. In the meantime, the old man continued to talk and Hephaestion translated his words once more. “He is giving us directions so we can find the shrine later.” Hephaestion asked the old man a few more questions and, once he knew for certain what way to go, he thanked their inadvertent guide. The Greek gave them a pleased look and then walked away, returning to the hotel. 

Hephaestion let go of Alexander’s hand and twined his fingers in the stallion’s mane. With one fluent movement, he mounted the horse and extended his hand to assist Alexander. 

Alexander whispered into Boukephalos’ ear in a language he had never spoken before and yet, the words had their desired effect. The stallion remained calm when a second rider slipped onto his back. The powerful muscles contracted beneath their bodies and he released a whinny. “Run,” Alexander whispered. “Stretch your legs, my friend.” Alexander wrapped his arms around Hephaestion’s waist and rested his head on his friend’s shoulder. “Run like the wind.” 

Boukephalos stretched his long, elegant legs and needed no directions as he took off like the wind, galloping toward a forest to their right.

~~~

The wind let strands of Hephaestion’s hair dance against his face and Alexander closed his eyes in bliss. The more time he spent in Hephaestion’s company, the more comfortable he felt around the other man. He loved him; there was no doubt about that. The intensity of his feelings took him aback and he clutched Hephaestion to him with a vice-like hold. 

“Alexander… I need to breathe…” Hephaestion blinked, recalling a similar situation in a distant past. “Alexander…”

Hephaestion’s thoughts pulled Alexander into the vortex of time and he traveled along-side his companion and ended up in the past. They sat close to each other and the dark-haired boy, Hephaestion, had wrapped his arms around his waist. Alexander, still young and not as muscular as Hephaestion, whispered similar words. “Can’t breathe.” The other boy’s hold on him kept him from drawing in his next breath. 

The scene faded and Alexander was catapulted back into the present. “I love you,” Alexander whispered into Hephaestion’s ear. “I will love you forever.”

Hephaestion’s heart beat sped up, hearing the undying devotion in Alexander’s voice. 

Boukephalos came to a standstill and scraped a hoof over the ground, lowering his head as if indicating the direction they needed to walk in. Alexander dismounted first and caught Hephaestion, who easily slipped from the stallion’s back. “Thank you, my friend.” Alexander pressed a kiss on Boukephalos’ head and then pulled Hephaestion toward the small building to their right. “That must be it.”

The stones were eroded, but the building itself looked solid. They cleared away the branches that blocked their way and eventually entered the small shrine. “Look!” Alexander raised a hand, pointing at the small statue standing at the center of the shrine. “It is not Aphrodite!” The statue had a male’s form. “There is an inscription here. Can you decipher it?” 

Hephaestion lowered himself onto his heels and cocked his head. “It an ancient form of Greek and not easy to decipher.”

“Try.” Alexander sat on his heels next to Hephaestion and studied the strange writing. He desperately wanted to know what the inscription said! Hephaestion’s lips formed alien words as he spoke in an ancient accent. Suddenly, Hephaestion grew silent and Alexander felt the tremors that coursed through his friend’s form. “What is it? What does it say?” Hephaestion had grown pale, which worried him further.

Hephaestion’s voice shook when he spoke again. “This shrine is dedicated to Hephaestion, Divine Hero and beloved of Alexander.” 

Alexander gasped and swayed, landing flat on his butt. Vertigo had hit him and he grabbed hold of Hephaestion, dragging him down with him as another vision assailed them.

~~~

The act of dying was painful, excruciatingly painful and yet Hephaestion had no choice but to surrender to it. He was alone in his room as Alexander was attending the Games. His beloved had left his side after the physician had assured Alexander that their patient was recovering. But chicken and wine had been brought and, since he was hungry, he had devoured the food. 

Hephaestion’s body convulsed with pain and his eyes grew big, feeling life leave him. His only regret was that Alexander wasn’t at his side to hold his hand and comfort him. He died alone.

~~~

“No!” Alexander’s cry, filled with rage and devastation, echoed through the shrine and made the very stones tremble on their foundation. Pain, horror, loneliness, and, above all fury, could be heard – and felt – in that feral scream. “You died!” Shocked, Alexander cupped Hephaestion’s face, forcing his friend to look him in the eye. “You died on me! You left me!”

Hephaestion, also shaky from having just relived through his demise, didn’t know what to say and allowed Alexander to shake him. Alexander’s voice, expression, and movements were uncontrolled and spoke of a great pain. 

“I wasn’t at your side when you died!” Guilt flooded Alexander’s soul – guilt and self-loathing. “Why wasn’t I there to hold you?” Hephaestion moistened his dry lips and attempted to speak, but his vocal cords refused to comply. “Don’t you know how much I needed you? I was lost without you!” This time, it was Alexander who dragged them into their past.

~~~

He felt devastated and clung to Hephaestion’s corpse with a vengeance. His Companions allowed him to stay like that for some time, but then began to pry his hands loose from Hephaestion’s robes. Infuriated, Alexander fought them, unwilling to let go of his beloved Hephaestion. It took several of the strongest men to finally pull him away from the corpse. 

Bagoas approached, took his hand, and managed to calm him enough to guide him to his rooms. In a trance, he cut off his mane, making a complete mess of his hair and it was only due to Bagoas’ tender assistance that he didn’t pull at his hair in pure frustration. Hephaestion was dead – his soul gone – and his lover had taken his sanity with him. “He left me,” Alexander whispered in a crushed voice. “He left me.”

~~~

“Alexander, I am sorry I died.” Hephaestion embraced Alexander and pulled him close. Alexander shook in his hold and sobbed, while all Hephaestion could do was to rock him until the emotional storm would fade. “I didn’t die on purpose,” he added, trying to defend himself. “I didn’t want to leave you behind. I wanted to fight at your side when you conquered Arabia.”

Alexander suddenly pulled away and hit Hephaestion’s chest. His anger needed a way out and the one he loved the most was the one he would vent his anger on. “You weren’t supposed to die! You were supposed to be at my side always!”

Hephaestion flinched when another blow hit him, but he didn’t try to stop Alexander. His flashes into the past had given him a new insight and he understood how deep their love had been. “What happened after I died?”

“I don’t want to discuss your death any longer!” Alexander stared, defiantly, at Hephaestion. “You left me!”

“What happened?” Hephaestion caught Alexander’s wrist, stopping him from delivering another blow to his chest. “What did you do?” He had seen Alexander cut off his hair, but what else had happened? Really happened?

“I wanted to die,” Alexander admitted in a heavy tone. He crumbled against Hephaestion’s muscular force and trembled, reliving the past.

~~~

He *did* lose his mind for three days. He fasted, refusing to eat and drink, and nearly drove Bagoas insane with worry. Bagoas looked after him while he remained in that catatonic state and saw to his every need. When Alexander finally raised his eyes to meet Bagoas’, his first order was for the tails of the military horses to be clipped. Then he focused on giving Hephaestion the funeral Games he so rightly deserved and organized the journey back to Babylon where he would built a pyre that rivaled the highest building in that city. 

Despair continued to gnaw at him. He was divine, a god, at least his mother had always maintained so, and the fear of losing Hephaestion in the afterlife drove him insane. In the end, he sent a delegation to Siwa to ask Zeus Ammon to proclaim Hephaestion divine as well. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, he was determined to keep his promise and to follow his beloved to the House of Death, but not before Hephaestion had received the funeral he deserved.

~~~

“Oh, Alexander… I was so afraid to leave you behind – to leave you alone.” Hephaestion rocked Alexander as both men swayed under the intensity of Alexander’s memories. In his mind, images swirled with a blinding speed, showing him the pyre Alexander had erected and how his beloved had started the fire that would devour his corpse. 

“You were my sanity, Hephaestion. You always were the strong one and I was lost without you. My mind deteriorated, no matter how hard I tried to find my way back to life. I failed. I followed you into death months later. At least I kept my promise.” Alexander hung motionlessly in Hephaestion’s arms and his voice was quickly becoming emotionless. 

“My love… I am so sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you.” 

Hephaestion was calming down and his serenity helped Alexander to compose himself in turn. Alexander maintained his tight hold on Hephaestion and tears continued to drip from his face. “The truth was that I no longer wanted to live. I couldn’t live without you. I had lost my reason to live. Bagoas tried to support me, to love me like you did, but it wasn’t enough. I needed you.” Alexander raised his swimming, red-rimmed eyes and pleadingly looked into Hephaestion’s. “I will never let go of you again.”

Hephaestion drew in a deep, steadying breath and wiped Alexander’s tears – such precious tears – away with his fingertips. “I love you, my Alexander.”

Alexander forced a shy smile onto his face. “Maybe it was your love that cast our souls into the future so we found each other again.”

Hephaestion shook his head. “It was *your* love, Alexander. A fire burns deep inside your soul. It still burns. You always were the one I drew my strength from.”

Alexander’s smile brightened and he allowed Hephaestion to fool himself, knowing better. Hephaestion had been his rock, the foundation upon which he had built his life and his empire. Without Hephaestion at his side, he would have failed and the world would have never heard of Alexander the Great. 

“I want to take another vow now,” Alexander announced in a steady voice. “I love you and I will be with you, even in death. We belong together for all eternity.”

“How right you are, my love.” Hephaestion hugged Alexander close to him. Now that the past was growing distant, he looked up at the statue, which was supposed to be him. He waited a little longer, until he was absolutely certain that Alexander was calm and rational again and then said, “I wonder why that old man sent us here. This is no shrine dedicated to Aphrodite.”

“He also showed us Boukephalos,” Alexander added. “He guided us.”

Hephaestion read suspicion in Alexander’s misty eyes. “Do you think he knows something?”

“He might know who we are and why we are here. Hephaestion, I refuse to believe in another coincidental meeting. He sent us here for a reason.”

“For us to relive my death?” Hephaestion shivered violently and promptly felt Alexander rub his back through the fabric of his shirt. “I was terrified to leave you alone. I knew you would not cope alone.” 

“You know me so well, Hephaestion.” Alexander had grown somewhat calm again and succeeded in capturing and holding Hephaestion’s gaze. “Can we stop discussing this now? It makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think I am ready yet to deal with your death.”

Hephaestion nodded his head once. “You can have all the time you need.”

“I am sorry,” Alexander whispered. “I am thinking of how your death affected me while I should be thinking of what it did to you to re-experience your death.”

Hephaestion gave him a smile, a very rare, very warm, very loving smile. “Maybe you are right, my Alexander. Maybe I am the strong one. I can only think of how to be there for you at this time.” 

Alexander’s heart beat with love for Hephaestion and he gently claimed the other man’s lips, delivering a slow and sensual kiss to the soft flesh. Hephaestion’s moans echoed through the shrine and Alexander pulled back quite breathlessly. “I don’t know how much longer I can control myself. I feel this overwhelming urge to make you mine.” He wanted to crawl inside Hephaestion, to claim and possess him. The intensity of that need scared him. 

“I feel the same way,” Hephaestion admitted in a hoarse voice. “But we shouldn’t. Not here…” Not where the memories of his death surrounded them. 

“You are right.” Alexander held Hephaestion close and guided his lover’s head onto his shoulder. Looking up at the statue, he realized it did little justice to his lover’s beauty – a beauty which shone from within and gave Hephaestion that strength which Alexander needed so much. “We should return to the hotel.” The need to claim Hephaestion and confirm their bond consumed him and he needed to quench this sexual thirst.

Hephaestion lifted his head from Alexander’s shoulder and looked at him. Alexander saw the raw need in the azure eyes. Hephaestion needed him as much as he needed Hephaestion.

~~~

Alexander settled behind Hephaestion on Boukephalos’ back. The stallion had been grazing while awaiting their return. Alexander wrapped his arms around Hephaestion and nuzzled the other man’s neck. Naughty locks caressed his facial skin and made him smile. 

Hephaestion savored the feel of Alexander pressed against him. The fact that Alexander was hard didn’t surprise him as he was hard himself. The memories which had been returned to him only strengthened him in his belief that they were meant to be together and he let go of any doubts he might have had. Alexander would be his first lover – his only lover. It had always been meant to be like that.

Boukephalos started his way back to the hotel, but wasn’t in a hurry. He trod slowly, occasionally nibbling on grass or luscious leaves. The two riders on his back didn’t seem to mind, as they were focused on each other.

“Hephaestion?” Alexander pushed the auburn hair out of the way and pressed a kiss onto the column of Hephaestion’s neck. “I feel the need to have you – to crawl into you and possess you.” 

Alexander’s words made Hephaestion feel light-headed. “I expected as much.” He felt the need to be possessed, to be held, and to belong. 

“This primal feeling, this feral need demands to be satisfied first.” Maybe then, after he had satisfied his lust, they would make love and then Hephaestion would take him in turn. “I think our first time will be different from all the other times we will make love.”

Hephaestion swallowed hard, his mouth growing dry. Alexander would stake his claim, making it very clear who belonged to whom.

“And after we make love, we need to discuss our future. I will never let you go again. We must find a way to always be together.”

“I am certain we will find a way.” Hephaestion leaned against Alexander and threw back his head, allowing his lover to lick his throat. “I have never been with a man before, Alexander. Not in this lifetime.”

“Neither have I.” Alexander deeply inhaled the familiar scent. “Don’t you think our bodies will remember what to do? We made love before.”

“In another lifetime.” Hephaestion turned his head and caught Alexander’s gaze. “Does this mean that you believe my reincarnation theory is correct?”

“What choice do I have?” Alexander pulled Hephaestion even closer and whispered, “We just relived your death. How can I deny that ever happened?”

“Do you think more memories will follow? Or that have we seen them all?”

Alexander considered Hephaestion’s question. “I believe more will come.”

Hephaestion hoped not. Experiencing his death all over again had already been more than painful.

~~~

One of the employees offered to look after the stallion. Hephaestion inquired about the old man who had told them about the shrine, but the employee didn’t know the man’s identity and, in the end, Hephaestion stopped his questioning. Alexander gave him an odd look and Hephaestion explained that the old man was a stranger. 

“What about Boukephalos?” Alexander wanted to make certain that they looked after the stallion.

“They will bring him back to his meadow. Apparently he is for sale.” Hephaestion already knew what Alexander was thinking and nodded his head once. “I already told him that we want to buy him.”

Alexander sighed, relieved. “Life will never be the same again. We will settle down here, won’t we?” He looked on as the employee led the horse away.

Hephaestion nodded his head once. “We might.” He stood no chance fighting their fate. “We can buy a house here… Houses aren’t that expensive over here.”

“I get a small pension because I had to retire due to my injury. We won’t live a life of luxury, but it pays the rent.” Alexander claimed Hephaestion’s hand and pulled his lover into the main building. “But what about you? You would have to give up teaching.” Hephaestion had sounded passionate when he had spoken of his profession. “Would you give up your life in England in order to be with me?”

Hephaestion stopped walking and grabbed Alexander’s wrists. “I would give it all up to be with you. Don’t you know that?” He cocked his head and searched Alexander’s eyes. 

A lump of emotions formed in Alexander’s throat. “You would,” Alexander realized with startling certainty. 

“I couldn’t deny you two millennia ago. How could I deny you now, my Alexander?” 

Alexander was about to stutter a confession of his love when another employee approached them, addressing them. “What is he saying?”

“He is offering us some light refreshments as it is close to lunch. He is sending the food to my room because it is too warm to eat on the balcony.” Hephaestion nodded once, indicating he agreed and the employee left. 

With his fingers tightly curled around Hephaestion’s, Alexander began to pull his lover toward the corridor where their rooms were located in. He walked slowly though, giving the employee a chance to deliver the food to Hephaestion’s room before they arrived. Once they were inside, he wanted Hephaestion to himself. “I need you.”

Growing nervous, Hephaestion moistened his lips. He *knew* they had made love in another lifetime, but this body had never been intimately touched. 

“Don’t worry, Hephaestion. I am as inexperienced as you are,” Alexander said in a comforting, but also teasing tone. “We will learn together.” 

The moment they rounded the corner, an employee left Hephaestion’s room and disappeared down the stairs. 

“Now we won’t be disturbed.” Feeling excited, Alexander opened the door to Hephaestion’s room and pulled the other man inside. 

“Alexander, I am nervous.” It was more than just being nervous. Hephaestion felt shy and incredibly anxious. What if he disappointed Alexander?

“I am nervous too,” Alexander replied, trying to comfort his lover. He kicked the door shut behind them and let his gaze sweep across the room. The employee had left a tray on the table and it contained a large bowl filled with lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, and other vegetables, all tossed into a big salad. Next to the bowl stood two glass bottles, one filled with vinegar and the other with olive oil. “Are you hungry?”

Hephaestion swallowed nervously and shook his head. “I couldn’t eat even if I wanted to.” He was too nervous to think of food. He allowed Alexander to guide him over to the bed and entrusted himself to his lover. “I don’t know what to expect,” Hephaestion admitted. “I know about the mechanics and have read about the theory, but…”

“You think too much.” Alexander drew in a deep breath, realizing he had to take the lead. “Trust me.”

“I will always trust you.”

Hephaestion’s voice, full of love and devotion, made Alexander quiver with desire. He released Hephaestion’s hand and unbuttoned his lover’s shirt, slowly sliding it down the tanned muscular shoulders. “You work out.”

“I try my best.” Hephaestion’s heart thundered in his chest and he felt frozen to the spot now that Alexander was undoing the zipper so he could push down his jeans. “Kiss me?” Maybe kissing would calm him down.

Alexander took a step closer to Hephaestion and drew him into an embrace. One hand settled on the small of his lover’s back, while the other continued to push down the jeans until Hephaestion could step out of the constricting fabric. Hephaestion didn’t wear any underwear and his erection bobbed free. Alexander kissed Hephaestion, gently at first, but once his tongue had invaded his lover’s mouth, the kiss deepened and became more forceful. 

Realizing that he should remove Alexander’s clothes in turn, Hephaestion’s trembling fingers unbuttoned his lover’s shirt. Contrary to Alexander, he didn’t go for the jeans right away, but allowed his hands to roam the chest, which sported soft, golden hairs. Their tongues twined and dueled. Hephaestion easily awarded Alexander victory, yielding to his lover’s passion. 

Alexander unbuttoned his jeans, eager to free himself and to bring their hard flesh into contact. “The bed,” Alexander whispered, pulling Hephaestion along with him. He lowered Hephaestion onto his back without breaking their kiss. 

Hephaestion’s skin tingled all over and his toes had long curled as he felt Alexander’s skin against his. He sighed, appreciatively, seeing Alexander’s bare torso. 

Alexander took a step away from the bed and quickly removed his jeans and briefs. He was hard and eager to claim his prize. “I love you.” Alexander lowered himself onto Hephaestion, blanketing his lover. Their erections brushed and the slick flesh rubbed against each other. Hephaestion raised his hips and Alexander reacted at once, thrusting against him. “I need you.”

Passion had taken hold of them, but now that Alexander was rubbing himself against his lower body, Hephaestion grew nervous once more. “Alexander, I…” He was afraid of the unknown. “Will it hurt?”

“No, it won’t.” Alexander licked down Hephaestion’s throat and his hands roamed the muscular chest. He wanted to take his time with his lover and would not rush things. Hephaestion deserved to be worshipped – nothing less. Moving down his lover’s chest, Alexander bestowed licks and kisses onto the flat abdomen before reaching the slick erection between Hephaestion’s legs. “Will you allow me to take you?” He looked at his lover, studying the dazed eyes. “I will be careful.” 

“Don’t we need a lubricant?” Hephaestion trembled over his entire body. Alexander’s caresses, his licks and kisses had only increased his need to make love, but his worries still remained. He had never envisioned himself on the bottom. 

Alexander blinked and momentarily stopped his caresses, which made Hephaestion whimper in need. “The oil,” Alexander suggested, nodding once. “I will be right back, Hephaestion.” He didn’t want to break bodily contact, but needed to fetch the olive oil. “Hephaestion, there is something else we forgot to discuss.” He pushed himself off of Hephaestion and got to his feet. Alexander walked over to the table and collected the oil. “I have never been with a man before and got tested on a regular basis when I was still with the police force. I am clean.” 

Hephaestion pushed himself up onto one elbow, considering Alexander’s unspoken question. “I never had a lover either… I should be clean as well and… I didn’t bring any condoms, did you?”

Alexander shook his head once. “We would still be taking a risk, doing this now and in this way. But I am willing to take it.” 

This was the age of safe sex and, had they been in a city, they would have had condoms and proper lubrication at hand, but this wasn’t the city. They were in a remote village in the middle of nowhere. 

“Do it,” Hephaestion ordered, his voice firm and determined. 

Alexander’s heart missed a beat now that he had gotten Hephaestion’s explicit permission. He took the oil with him and knelt on the bed. 

Hephaestion slowly parted his legs, allowing Alexander to settle between his thighs. “I am nervous.” Yes, he was nervous, but he didn’t feel tense. Looking into Alexander’s eyes and seeing the echo of the other man’s unconditional love, he knew that his lover would never willingly hurt him. He could bear the discomfort for making love would unite them. “Take me.”

Alexander uncapped the bottle and poured a generous amount of oil onto his hands. “I need you to guide me, Hephaestion. I have never done this before…in this life time.” 

Hephaestion lay down on his back and watched Alexander lean in closer. The blond man claimed his lips and one slick finger parted his buttocks, already searching for the entrance to his body. “Go slowly with me.” 

Alexander kissed Hephaestion, determined to make this as pleasurable as possible for his lover. A fingertip massaged the outer ring, but didn’t try to enter yet. He was a healthy, curious gay man and had watched his share of adult movies. He knew what to do… He just needed to be patient. Hephaestion arched toward him and that first fingertip slid inside. He sucked in his breath in surprise. “You feel soft and warm in there.” The oiled finger slid in deeper, exploring in a gentle and slow manner. 

The invasion felt like nothing he had thought it would and Hephaestion pressed back in welcome. 

Encouraged, Alexander removed his digit and carefully returned with two. Hephaestion’s eyes now widened and Alexander quickly soothed him by licking the skin of his lover’s throat. Hephaestion raised his hands and they settled around his neck, making certain he stayed close. “How does this feel?” Alexander’s fingers encountered a small nub inside his lover’s passage and rubbed the prostate, knowing being touched in that way would bring Hephaestion pleasure.

“Good.” Hephaestion moistened his lips and looked Alexander in the eye. His surroundings began to fade and another vision approached. “Alexander…”

“I feel it too.” Alexander found it hard to concentrate on loosening Hephaestion’s passage now they were back in that bedroom in Babylon. Bagoas wasn’t close this time around and he relaxed. It was just the two of them. Looking at Hephaestion’s face, Alexander frowned, seeing the scars that marred the face he loved so much. Scars which his ‘new’ Hephaestion didn’t carry. 

Hephaestion squirmed beneath him, arching his back and pressing back, impatiently taking himself on his lover’s fingers. Alexander reacted to his lover’s need by rubbing Hephaestion’s prostate more firmly, eager to increase the other man’s desire. “Are you ready for me?”

Silk moved beneath him, caressing his back and Hephaestion buried his fingers in the sensual material. Silver moonlight floated into the room through the open windows and sounds from the city reached them. 

“We are in Babylon,” Alexander whispered, able to identity this moment in time. Hephaestion nodded his consent and Alexander rubbed a liberal amount of oil onto his twitching shaft. “We are back in Babylon.” 

Hephaestion raised his legs and rested them on Alexander’s shoulders, trusting himself to his lover like he had done a hundred times before. “Take me. Make us one again.” 

Alexander, always considerate of his lover’s needs, ran his fingers down the powerful legs until they caressed the muscular thighs. “You mastered me a long time ago, Hephaestion.” Hephaestion might think he belonged to Alexander and, in a way he did, but Alexander knew the ultimate truth, namely that he was nothing without Hephaestion. Absolutely nothing! 

Worshipping his lover’s body, Alexander kissed the firm flesh and massaged the long legs. “I am going to claim you now, my Hephaestion.” And by doing so, they would confirm this ancient bond that connected their souls through time and space.

Hephaestion closed his eyes in bliss, feeling Alexander press inside. The head pushed inside and then his lover stilled in his movements, giving him a chance to sort out his breathing and grow accustomed to the increasing bulk inside him. Now that there was no pain, Hephaestion groaned and pressed closer, needing to take in more. He needed to feel all of Alexander inside him! Alexander undulated his hips and Hephaestion’s eyes opened. His lips released another passionate moan and he shivered, feeling Alexander slide in the rest of the way. His lover was firmly rooted inside his body and Hephaestion felt the connection slam back in place, tying them together for the rest of their mortal life. He had never felt anything this intimate before and he wasn’t thinking about the physical contact they were in – this was a connection between souls.

“I am inside of you,” Alexander whispered, impressed that Hephaestion had so easily taken him. Respect, unconditional love, and undying devotion echoed in his voice and he proceeded to kiss first one and then the other of Hephaestion’s hard nipples. “I have come home.” 

Tremors coursed through Hephaestion’s body and he moved his arms until he tightly embraced his lover. He needed to feel Alexander as close and as deep as possible, locked inside him. This moment changed everything.

Alexander lowered himself onto his lover, completing the embrace. Hephaestion’s long muscular legs wrapped around his waist and that was his sign to begin thrusting. The world, all sounds, colors, scents, and doubts, were stripped away during their lovemaking. Hephaestion fervently met each of Alexander’s thrusts, making it clear how much he needed this. 

Groans filled with need and pleasure tumbled from his lips and hearing them only encouraged Alexander to make love more forcefully. He wanted Hephaestion to *feel* their connection! 

Their lovemaking, which had started slow and sensual, now grew frantic and Alexander grunted, as he continued to bury himself inside Hephaestion’s body. Need overwhelmed him and his thrusts became possessive. Hephaestion surrendered to Alexander, like he had done many times before and they moved like one.

Bliss didn’t last long enough for Hephaestion, who screamed out and climaxed first. Enraptured, he clung to Alexander, trembling in his lover’s tight embrace.

Alexander was on the brink of fainting, feeling Hephaestion’s inner muscles contract around him. With his remaining strength, he managed to shallowly bite Hephaestion’s shoulder, marking the other man as his. Orgasm washed over him, making him bite down harder in reaction. Buried inside Hephaestion’s contracting passage, he growled against the trembling body. 

Memories, thousands of memories, washed through them, showing them their past lives. Alexander whimpered, reliving battle after battle, losing Hephaestion to death and dying himself. Hephaestion witnessed every scene and held him close, supporting him. Their true personalities surfaced and became a solid part of them. Every desire, thought, and doubts the two men had ever shared returned to them and their former identities merged with their ancient ones. Thoughts, memories and personalities, all shifted until a perfect merger was achieved. 

Their surroundings changed again and this time they returned to the present – to their reality. Tears streamed down their faces as they finally remembered who they truly were and what they had been through together in the past. Hephaestion looked into Alexander’s eyes and saw his lover’s soul reflected there. Alexander the Great had returned and was now a very solid part of his lover’s personality. 

Alexander cried tears of happiness as he held the great love of his life in his arms once more. “I followed you to the House of Death and yet we are here – alive and well.” He had spoken in an old dialect, his native tongue. Until a moment ago, he’d had no idea how to speak that language! Looking into Hephaestion’s eyes, he knew his lover had understood. 

“It is you,” Hephaestion replied in a form of ancient Greek. “It is you, my Alexander.”

Sensing Hephaestion’s confusion and needing to feel his lover as close as possible, Alexander embraced him tightly. They cried softly, whispered words of love and undying devotion, and clung to one another. 

Two ancient souls, which had shared an amazing life over two millennia ago, had returned to Earth. Alexander the Great had been reunited with his beloved Hephaestion.

~~~

Hephaestion had drifted off into sleep after their lovemaking. The return of the memories regarding his first life had, for some reason, exhausted him more than Alexander, who continued to hold him close. Hephaestion had fallen asleep facing Alexander and the former ruler had wrapped his arms around his beloved, tucking Hephaestion’s head beneath his chin. Hephaestion was blissfully unaware of Alexander’s emotional turmoil.

Alexander had fought back his tears until the very moment that Hephaestion had succumbed to sleep. Now that his tears couldn’t burden his beloved, he allowed for them to fall. He wept for the terrible loss he had suffered in his first life, wept for Hephaestion and himself, but foremost, he wept because he had never truly seen the real treasure he should have protected and cherished. His ambition had ruined a perfect love, but back then, he hadn’t realized that. 

He held Hephaestion close for the remaining day, but when evening fell, he gently pried Hephaestion’s hands loose and left the bed. After pressing a tender kiss onto Hephaestion’s brow, he entered the bathroom to relieve himself and to freshen up. He splashed cool water onto his heated brow and stared at his reflection. The eyes that looked back at him were haunted. Suddenly feeling cornered, he left the bathroom, crossed the room, pulled his jeans on, and stepped onto the balcony. Looking out over the land, he realized it had belonged to him once. He had ruled Greece and a large part of the world, but he didn’t any more. 

Placing his hands on the balustrade, he bowed his head. He hadn’t known about his arrogance and stupidity until he had seen the expression of pure pleasure in those azure eyes hours ago. /And I threw it all away./ But at the time he hadn’t seen it that way.

After casting a look at the sleeping Hephaestion, Alexander jumped over the balustrade and started toward the meadow where he would find Boukephalos. He needed a moment alone. 

~~~

The old man seemed to be waiting for him. Alexander found him petting Boukephalos, stroking the stallion’s flanks with caring hands. This time, he possessed knowledge of the ancient language and addressed the old man in fluent Greek. “Who are you?”

The old man gave him a conspiring smile and didn’t seem surprised to hear him speak Greek all of a sudden. “You know me, Alexander,” the man replied in his native tongue. “Think.”

And Alexander considered the old man, who *did* seem familiar, but he couldn’t have reached the right conclusion, could he? “Kalanos?” 

“Well done!” The old man smiled, pleased. “You remembered me.” 

Kalanos had been a visionary and philosopher who had chosen to accompany him during his first life. The philosopher had tried to guide Alexander the Great, but had been bound to fail. 

Alexander coughed, trying to rid himself of the emotions that blocked his throat. Kalanos had died on a pyre. The old man had wanted it that way and the images were still very clear in his mind as they had just returned to him that day. “You were reborn as well?”

“Yes, to finish what I started in the past.” Kalanos gestured for Alexander to follow him and sat down beneath the strong branches of a firmly rooted tree. Alexander followed and seated himself next to the old man. Kalanos studied Alexander and saw new understanding in the eyes. “What have you learned so far?”

Alexander moistened his lips, recalling all the time they had talked in the distant past. He knew that Kalanos had always tried to warn him, to show him the ‘true’ way for him to find happiness, but… “My ambition blinded me.”

Kalanos cocked his head, not yet impressed. “Continue.”

“Hephaestion once asked me if I was running away from my mother and now I can admit that he was right. This crazed quest to conquer the world… It was my way of getting away from my mother and to prove my father wrong -- that I was a better King than he was. I conquered a large part of the world and no longer stood in his shadow.”

Kalanos encouragingly nodded his head. “What else did you learn?”

Alexander wrung his hands. The ‘old’ Alexander would never have admitted any of this, but he had changed. This second life had taught him a few things and being reunited with Hephaestion had shown him the foolishness of his past ways. “That I didn’t love Hephaestion the way he deserved.”

“Explain,” Kalanos demanded. “In what way did you fail him?”

Alexander blinked. “My dream consumed me and I forced him to be a part of it.” He laughed in a mirthless way. “Hephaestion made my dream his. He was always so eager to please… He would never have tried to stop me from conquering the world.”

“But?” Kalanos asked, urging Alexander on.

“I failed to see that I already had the world in the palm of my hand. I was too blind to see that Hephaestion was my treasure. I should have loved him and made him happy. Instead, I dragged him all over the world with me. Hephaestion died because of his desire to please me. If I had stayed in Macedon to rule my father’s empire, we might have grown old together.”

“Achilles faced that choice as well and you know what way he chose.”

Alexander nodded his head once. “He chose an early death for himself.”

“And for Patrocles.”

Another nod. “I don’t want to repeat my past mistakes. Kalanos, what do I do?” Coming upon Hephaestion’s corpse still haunted him, even two millennia later. “How do I prevent repeating my past mistakes? I want Hephaestion to be happy.” His first life had been about him, about his problems, his ambitions. He wanted to do things differently this time.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Kalanos suggested with a smile curling his lips.

Alexander’s eyes brightened. “You are right, of course.” He pushed himself to his feet and looked at Kalanos, really looked, and saw the mirth in the old eyes. “You knew we were heading this way. How?”

Kalanos smiled. “Who knows these things? I don’t. We merely accept what we are given, Alexander. And you should be especially thankful. Use your second chance well.”

Alexander drew in a deep breath and nodded one last time. “I will.” He started his way back to the hotel, eager to talk to Hephaestion about the revelation he’d had.

~~~

Alexander had grown worried he might arrive after Hephaestion had already woken, but his beloved was still asleep. He removed his jeans and joined Hephaestion in bed once more. His lover immediately moved toward him and rested his head against his shoulder. Tears gathered in Alexander’s eyes and he sobbed softly, rubbing Hephaestion’s back and wishing he hadn’t made certain choices in his first life.

The sounds of distress from Alexander woke Hephaestion. His eyes opened, blinked, and tried to focus on Alexander. His sleep had been filled with memories and it took him a moment to adjust to the present. “What is wrong, Alexander?” Why was his lover crying? What had happened? He had never seen Alexander sob before! 

“Don’t worry,” Alexander managed in between sobs. “I am crying because I am so happy to have you back in my arms again!” He pulled Hephaestion close and crushed him against his chest. “Don’t ever die on me again, Hephaestion!”

Hephaestion held Alexander close and made soothing sounds, rubbing the trembling back and kissing Alexander’s face. “I will always be with you.” Alexander made needy sounds he couldn’t remember ever hearing before. “What is upsetting you?” He had always known the great value of communication and tried to coax Alexander into revealing what was troubling him. “You can tell me.”

“Not now…” Alexander raised his head and looked into Hephaestion’s loving eyes. “I need something from you…if you are willing to give it to me.”

Hephaestion arched an eyebrow in surprise, recalling Alexander making this request in the past as well, but receiving this request had been rare. “Do you mean…?”

“Take me, Hephaestion. Make me feel you… Make me feel our love.” Alexander’s big eyes pleaded with Hephaestion’s caring ones. “Like you did in the past.” This was another aspect of their relationship he had neglected. Instead of attending to *all* of his lover’s needs – and by doing so to his own – he had focused on conquering more countries. He had been such a fool back then! 

Alexander freed himself of Hephaestion’s embrace and pushed himself onto his hands and knees. “Take me, Hephaestion!” His voice now possessed a sense of urgency and he looked expectantly at Hephaestion. “Please don’t make me beg.” 

Hephaestion’s mouth went dry. He remembered their first lives and the way Alexander had wanted to be taken back then. This mood hadn’t often taken Alexander, but when it did, he wanted to be taken hard. “Are you certain?” He hadn’t expected Alexander to react in this way. Most of the time, his lover had been content to take him and that had been it.

“I am certain!” Alexander grabbed hold of the bottle with olive oil and offered it to Hephaestion. “Complete the circle, Hephaestion.” Looking at his lover from over his shoulder, he saw the surprise and uncertainty in the blue eyes. “Take me whatever way pleases you.” He moistened his lips, growing a bit nervous. “I know you didn’t like taking me hard in the past but you did so because I wanted that… Take me your way, Hephaestion.” This was the first change he was making in their relationship and he saw the surprise in the azure eyes. Alexander swallowed nervously and moved back into a kneeling position. He turned around and faced Hephaestion, who was kneeling next to him. “What do *you* want, Hephaestion?” 

Breathless, Hephaestion could only stare at his beloved Alexander. “I always wanted to hear you say that.” The words left his lips unintentionally and he grew flustered, realizing he had actually spoken them aloud. He welcomed this change in Alexander and his reaction was to kiss his lover passionately. Alexander returned the kiss, but Hephaestion stayed in control, loving the way Alexander squirmed in his arms. It was in his nature to please and he knew from prior experiences how Alexander preferred to be taken, but, he reminded himself sharply, Alexander also wanted him to do as he pleased. Maybe he could come up with a compromise. “Stretch out on your stomach,” Hephaestion whispered into Alexander’s ear, sensing the tremors that now shook his lover’s body. 

Alexander quickly complied and laid face down. He even wiggled his backside in a playful way and turned his head so he could still watch Hephaestion. His lover taking charge in this way was new and excited him more than he had thought. He was already hard and his arousal rubbed against the sheet, creating a lovely friction. 

Hephaestion considered his lover, seeing Alexander squirm in need. He poured the oil onto his hands and straddled Alexander’s lower back. Putting his hands on his lover, Hephaestion massaged the shoulders and let his hands slide down the elegant spine. 

Alexander’s breathing came in gasps now that Hephaestion’s hands settled on his backside, massaging the firm mounds of flesh. Not knowing Hephaestion’s plans excited him further, and he moaned, trying to tell his lover to hurry up. 

Hephaestion smiled, sensing the need in Alexander, and he parted the pert buttocks. One oiled finger slid down the cleft and encountered the ring of twitching muscle, which he massaged. Alexander went quiet, but pressed back, almost as though he was trying to lure Hephaestion’s finger inside. “I love you,” he whispered, leaning in closer to press kisses along Alexander’s spine. The fact that Alexander surrendered so willingly to his caresses stunned him. He couldn’t remember ever holding such power over Alexander. 

Alexander’s head was still turned and he managed to lock gazes with Hephaestion. His beloved was truly beautiful and a new light shone from those pools of blue now that he had been given this measure of control. /I was a fool not to do so before!/

Alexander groaned pitifully, feeling the first finger slip inside. Hephaestion had always been tender and careful with him, even when he had demanded his beloved took him hard. It simply wasn’t in Hephaestion’s nature to conquer him. Hephaestion would make sweet, slow love to him and his groin tightened, realizing he really wanted that.

Hephaestion was surprised to find Alexander already relaxed and fairly loose so he added a second finger. Thrusting lightly inside the channel, he felt Alexander loosen further and he kissed the back of his lover’s neck, sucking the skin there. Alexander squirmed, telling him his lover was ready, but he took another moment to lubricate the passage with more oil. The last thing he wanted was to hurt his lover during their lovemaking. 

“I am ready for you,” Alexander whispered, desperately pushing back to feel more of Hephaestion’s fingers moving inside him. His movement caused Hephaestion to rub his prostate and ecstasy exploded in his groin, almost making him come. “I am too close…” 

Hephaestion immediately withdrew his fingers and considered his lover. “Alexander…”

“Take me the way *you* want!” Alexander insisted firmly. He *knew* that pleading tone in Hephaestion’s voice. 

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath and moved about until he was kneeling next to Alexander. “Get up,” he instructed, reaching for the oil and handing it to Alexander once his lover sat face to face with him. “Rub it on.” 

Alexander’s hands trembled as they coated Hephaestion’s erection with the oil. He took great care to make certain that his every touch pleased his lover. “How will you take me?” Alexander moved closer, purred, and stole a kiss from Hephaestion’s lips. Hephaestion had always been more muscular than him, stronger, but his beloved had never used that to his advantage. Something told him, however, that Hephaestion might do that now.

Hephaestion’s heart thundered as he slid his hands beneath Alexander’s buttocks. Pulling Alexander closer, he raised him and gave his lover a probing look. “Like this.” Keeping in mind that Alexander liked their love play to be a bit rough, Hephaestion positioned his lover above his erection. He was also more endowed than Alexander in that department and he saw the rapture in Alexander’s eyes when his intentions finally registered.

Alexander eagerly placed his hands on Hephaestion’s shoulders and climbed onto his beloved’s lap. With Hephaestion’s help, he lowered himself onto the shaft, taking it in bit by bit. Alexander bit on his bottom lip when Hephaestion unexpectedly lowered him further onto the hard flesh, forcing him to take in the rest of his lover. He threw back his head and yelped, pain and pleasure battling in his lower body. But it was a sweet pain, and, once he was firmly seated upon his lover’s shaft, he opened his eyes and swallowed hard, seeing the predatory expression in the normally gentle eyes. The balance of power between them shifted and reached a new status quo. 

Hephaestion folded his arms around Alexander and held him close and motionless, forcing his lover to *really* feel him, like Alexander had asked him to. 

Sweat formed on Alexander’s brow now that Hephaestion was keeping him still and in place. Hephaestion felt huge inside him and he realized he loved that feeling. Being held in this way, being in this position, felt even more intimate than being thrust into. “Hephaestion,” he whispered, fighting to bring his erratic breathing back into control. “You have all that strength inside you and…” And his lover never used it in the bedroom. 

Hephaestion drew in another deep breath, trying to keep himself from reaching climax just yet. Alexander felt incredibly tight around him and he fought the urge to simply thrust upward and to pound away inside Alexander. Sliding his hands down Alexander’s back, they settled against the small of his lover’s back. “Let go of me,” he commanded and Alexander’s eyes widened. 

Alexander did as he was told and, now that he lost his last means of supporting himself, it was only Hephaestion’s erection which kept him in place. He truly felt at Hephaestion’s mercy and his shaft twitched with anticipation. What were Hephaestion’s plans for him?

Hephaestion began to lower Alexander onto the bed, but stopped just before his lover’s back made contact with the mattress. Alexander arched his back in response, staring wide-eyed at Hephaestion. “Hephaestion… please…” The angle had changed and now Hephaestion’s hard flesh rubbed against his prostate, sending sparks of pleasure through his body. 

“I always wanted to see you like that.” Hephaestion held Alexander firmly in place, savoring seeing the surrender in the brown eyes. It took most of his discipline not to thrust yet, but he controlled his instincts. “Do you know what other way I want to see you?”

Alexander whimpered, suddenly experiencing a most divine sensation. Hephaestion finally used that strength and turned him around, always making certain his shaft remained in place. Alexander suddenly found himself on his stomach, the position he had originally wanted Hephaestion to claim him in, but not on his hands and feet. Hephaestion blanketed him and, feeling that heavy body pressing him down, almost made Alexander come that moment. 

Hephaestion pushed his arms beneath Alexander’s chest and tightly embraced him. At the same time, he performed his first thrust, burying himself deeper than ever before. 

All Alexander could do was surrender to the deep, slow strokes. He was quite helpless, lying underneath Hephaestion’s bulk and he accepted what his lover was giving him. Hephaestion’s thrusts remained slow, but went deep and he whimpered into the mattress, abandoning himself to his beloved Hephaestion, who rubbed his prostate with each stroke. Alexander was catapulted into orgasm and bit into Hephaestion’s forearm, trying to stop himself from screaming out. 

Hephaestion didn’t notice the bite. He whipped his hips forward and nuzzled Alexander’s hair, inhaling his lover’s musky scent. A moment later contractions formed around his member, but he ignored the sensation and continued to bury himself inside his lover’s body over and over again. 

Alexander had never experienced anything like it before. Yes, Hephaestion had taken him in the past, but never in such an intense way. He had never belonged to Hephaestion so completely – one of them had always been holding back and that had been Hephaestion. In their first life, Hephaestion had never taken him in such a masterly way; his beloved would never have dared possessing him like that and his tears surfaced once more. Alexander cried softly, making certain Hephaestion didn’t notice that he regretted smothering his lover’s strength in the past. 

Hephaestion collapsed atop of Alexander and wondered… “Alexander, do you want me to remain inside or…?” During their first life, Alexander had preferred for him to pull out before he reached orgasm and, as he had been eager to please, he had always complied.

“Don’t you dare pull out!” Alexander wanted to feel Hephaestion come inside him and he managed to look at his beloved from over his shoulder. “Come for me.”

Alexander’s words pushed Hephaestion over the edge and he growled, finding release inside the still contracting passage. “This feels…” He wanted to tell Alexander what he was experiencing, but the words wouldn’t come to him. Instead, he kissed Alexander’s shoulder and clung to his lover in the throes of passion and ecstasy. 

Alexander remained motionless beneath Hephaestion’s bulk and experienced, for the very first time, what it felt like to have his lover come inside of him. Warmth filled him and Hephaestion thrust another time, almost causing Alexander to pass out from the sensation alone.

Hephaestion finally stilled, having spent himself inside his lover’s body. Exhausted, he realized he should roll off of Alexander, but he didn’t yet have the energy to move. 

“Don’t move,” Alexander whispered, loving the way Hephaestion felt atop him. Why hadn’t he given this to Hephaestion – and to himself – in the past? Letting go and entrusting himself to his beloved had upended his world and only made him love Hephaestion more. 

“I am crushing you,” Hephaestion objected in a weak voice. His body still tingled with pleasure and, although his member was softening, he was still inside Alexander’s warm body. 

“I love that feeling,” Alexander confessed. Still maintaining eye contact with Hephaestion, he added, “Promise me something?”

Hephaestion licked Alexander’s bottom lip, tasting the echo of blood as Alexander had bit into that lip during his ecstasy. “What?”

“Promise to tell me when you want to take me again. I don’t want to wait another lifetime before you claim me again like that. I made that mistake in the past and I refuse to make it again.” He blushed, but continued, “I love the way you feel inside of me.”

“You never admitted that before.” Hephaestion finally found the strength to roll off of Alexander, but maintained his hold on his lover. They ended up resting on their sides with Hephaestion spooned behind Alexander. “Did you really like that?”

“My sweet Hephaestion… Would I lie to you?” His body hummed with the pleasant after effects of bliss and Alexander was determined to experience it again. 

“No, you wouldn’t. You never lied to me.” Hephaestion’s member slipped out of Alexander’s body and both men whimpered now that the connection was broken. “I will tell you,” Hephaestion agreed in the end.

“And you will act upon it,” Alexander added, closing his eyes and beginning to doze off. Now he understood why Hephaestion had so quickly fallen asleep after they had made love that first time. He felt exhausted, but in a good way.

“I might,” Hephaestion whispered, pressing kisses against Alexander’s neck. He heard his lover’s breathing deepen and slow down, a sure sign that Alexander had fallen asleep. “I love you so much, my Alexander… So much…”

A moment later, he followed Alexander into sleep. The two lovers had finally been reunited and their bond was firmly in place. Only death could separate them again, and this time, they knew the separation would only be temporary. Their souls *would* find each other again.

To be continued 


	2. Chapter 2

Broken Circle

 

Part 1

 

“I think you will like this next object,” the real estate agent stated, driving the car up the hill. “It has a marvelous view, is close enough to the next town to stay in contact with the outside world, and still far away enough to have the privacy you want.”

 

Alexander and Hephaestion exchanged a look. This was the third house they were looking at and so far they hadn’t found what they were looking for. Looking for a property out here had been Hephaestion’s idea and Alexander had eagerly agreed, especially after learning that money wasn’t a problem. He had never given it much thought, but it appeared that Hephaestion’s family was wealthy and his father didn’t seem to mind that his son had inherited his obsession with Greece. Hephaestion had talked to his father over the phone and the older man had even encouraged Hephaestion to take more time off and to settle down in Greece.

 

And so they were looking for a nice two-bedroom house in the vicinity of ancient Troy. The real estate agent, realizing they were eager to buy, was showing them one house after the other.

 

Alexander gave Hephaestion a wink. They had already agreed that they would only buy a house if both of them approved.

 

The real estate agent parked the car and opened the door. “It is a real good deal, this house. It has everything you are looking for: two bedrooms, a renovated bathroom, fully equipped kitchen, and it comes with a nice piece of land where you can keep your horse.”

 

Alexander had already bought Boukephalos and, once they had acquired the house, they would move the stallion there. The real estate agent handed him a brochure with all the details of the house and, looking at the price, he nodded his head once, indicating to Hephaestion that the price was agreeable.

 

“Look up,” Hephaestion suggested, gently poking his elbow in Alexander’s side. Maybe the real estate agent had made the right choice after all. It was a lovely house with a stunning view over the bay. Flowers bloomed and he even caught sight of some fruit trees in front of the house. Painted white, the house looked idyllic, situated upon a cliff. He even spotted stairs, cut out into the rock, which would give them easy access to the pristine beach beneath it.

 

“There is only one problem,” the real estate agent said and a frown formed on his face. “It comes with a dog. The old owner died and we tried to chase off the dog, but he refuses to leave. I am certain we could find a way to get rid of him if he proves too much of a pest.”

 

An elderly dog pushed himself to his feet and gave the three men a wary look. His fur was brown, his eyes black, and his feet moved slowly. He had been in the middle of a dream when the car had pulled up.

 

Alexander and Hephaestion halted in their tracks, exchanging another meaningful look. That dog looked awfully familiar. “Do you know his name?” Alexander asked as he lowered himself onto his heels and made soothing sounds in order to convince the dog to come toward him.

 

“I believe it is Peritas, but I could be wrong.”

 

“I should have known.” Alexander petted the dog’s head. The animal seemed to study him and Alexander smiled, greeting another old friend.

 

“Would you like to see the interior?” the real estate agent asked, relieved that the dog didn’t seem to pose a problem to his potential buyers.

 

“I will accompany you,” Hephaestion replied, sensing that Alexander preferred to remain outside with the dog.

 

Alexander gave Hephaestion a grateful look and then sat down on the grass, petting and playing with the dog. He waited until Hephaestion and the agent had gone inside and then commented, “So you made it back as well. I am glad to have found you. Does that mean we are supposed to live here? I would like that, you know. Hephaestion, Boukephalos, you, and I living here.” If Hephaestion liked the interior they would probably buy the house and settle down here. Alexander rubbed Peritas behind the ears and wondered about the unexpected twist his life had taken. He had come here in order to see Troy and he had found himself instead.

 

Now that his memories had returned to him, his personality had changed with it. The man sitting on the grass, playing with Peritas possessed more character traits that belonged to Alexander the Great than Alex the police officer. He would need time to adjust to his new life, but he was convinced the change was for the better, especially since Hephaestion was back at his side.

 

These last few days had been odd at best. Each morning, he had expected to find himself in a camp, ready to battle his enemies. Instead he had found Hephaestion at his side, snoring softly. They had often been apart in their first lives, their duties demanding certain sacrifices and for Alexander to have Hephaestion close at all times was an unknown luxury. He didn’t know how well he would deal with his new, calm, and peaceful life, but he would do his best not to disappoint Hephaestion.

 

Hephaestion… Hephaestion had taken the lead in finding a new home for them. Hephaestion was also taking the lead in other aspects of their lives, including in between the sheets and Alexander found he loved trusting himself to his beloved Hephaestion. In their first life, Hephaestion had served him the best way the other man could, always pushing back his own needs so he could give everything he was to Alexander. But in this life, that had changed. Hephaestion was finally his equal in every aspect of the word. He had wasted so much time in his first life!

 

“I like this house… this place.” Hephaestion had joined Alexander and, looking into the startled eyes, he realized that his lover hadn’t heard him approach. Lowering himself to his heels, he rubbed Peritas’ head and maintained eye contact with Alexander. “Do you like it here?”

 

Alexander smiled. “I do… and don’t you think that finding Peritas is a sign that we should settle down here?”

 

“He really is Peritas, isn’t he?” Hephaestion had always been fond of that dog, maybe even more so than Alexander and he smiled, seeing Peritas rolling onto his back to be petted on his stomach. “You are probably right.” Hephaestion stroked the dog’s abdomen and looked up, taking in his surroundings. “It is perfect here.”

 

“We will buy it then,” Alexander declared, nodding his head once. “How is the interior?”

 

“I don’t think we will have to change much. It is completely furnished and all we need to do is to fly over our personal belongings.” Hephaestion watched Alexander closely and couldn’t remember ever having seen his lover so at peace, so calm, so happy. Alexander had always been driven, passionate, and extremely restless. That restlessness had helped him conquer so much of the world. “Do you think you can be happy here?”

 

Alexander gave Hephaestion a brilliant smile and reached for his beloved’s hand. Curling his fingers around Hephaestion’s, he whispered, “Don’t you know that I am already the happiest man alive because I have you back in my life?”

 

Fierce emotions made Hephaestion feel all choked up and he squeezed Alexander’s fingers in response as words deserted him. Never before had Alexander looked at him with so much love in his eyes.

 

“It is decided then. We will buy this place and move in.” Alexander leaned in closer and kissed Hephaestion’s lips. “Now tell the man he can stop hovering about.” The real estate agent had been watching them closely, trying to figure out if he could close the deal or not.

 

“I will take care of the formalities,” Hephaestion replied, still reeling a bit from seeing such love in Alexander’s eyes. Alexander returned to playing with Peritas and Hephaestion rose from the ground to talk to the agent. It appeared they had now also found Peritas and their new home.

 

~~~

 

They sealed the deal at the agent’s office and after signing the contract, Alexander and Hephaestion used the opportunity to do some shopping. As they had only packed for a short vacation, they needed more clothes and toiletries. Alexander also loaded their car with dog food and other treats for Peritas and Boukephalos.

 

“I think we have everything we need.” Hephaestion was about to step into the car when he saw Alexander’s probing expression. “What?”

 

“We need to make two more stops.” Alexander locked the car and took hold of Hephaestion’s hand. He was grateful that this was a large and modern city where he would find whatever he needed.

 

Hephaestion followed Alexander’s lead, puzzled as to what Alexander was up to. Their first stop was a pharmacy and Hephaestion shook his head, seeing Alexander buy lubricant. The girl behind the counter gave them an amused look and then chuckled, handing Alexander the bag and his change.

 

“That was somewhat embarrassing,” Hephaestion remarked, realizing he had grown flustered under the girl’s looks.

 

“She was only jealous,” Alexander retorted, teasingly squeezing Hephaestion’s buttock.

 

“Behave yourself!” Hephaestion gave Alexander an admonishing look. “We aren’t in private.” He wasn’t certain how people would react to seeing them in such an intimate way. Yes, it was the twenty-first century, but people were still biased and you never knew if some men would become violent when they flaunted their love that openly.

 

Alexander leaned in closer, dismissing his lover’s worries. He would happily kill or main anyone who dared insult his love for Hephaestion. That feral side, which had made him a great warrior in the first place, was still there and simmered deep inside him. “I want everyone to know that I love you and that you are mine.”

 

Hephaestion’s blush deepened. “Alexander…” He was growing apprehensive, wondering what second stop Alexander was planning to make. “Where are we going next?”

 

“The bookstore.”

 

Alexander’s reply calmed Hephaestion down. What trouble could Alexander get himself in to in a bookstore? None, he hoped.

 

~~~

 

“Are you going to buy all those books?” Hephaestion blinked, seeing Alexander precariously balance at least ten books in his arms. He tilted his head to read their titles and realized that all books were about Alexander the Great. “Why are you buying those?”

 

Alexander dropped the books onto the counter and gave the salesgirl a stunning smile, making her smile in turn and Hephaestion jealous, which was what he had hoped to achieve. Leaning in closer to his lover, he whispered, “I need to know what they wrote about me!” He was curious and wanted to find out how historians thought about him and his deeds.

 

Hephaestion shook his head, knowing darn well that Alexander would probably either throw a temper tantrum or pout if the scholars had drawn the wrong conclusions.

 

“Aren’t you curious to find out what they say about you?” Alexander paid for the books and gave the girl another smile, which earned him an additional jealous glare from Hephaestion.

 

Hephaestion shrugged his shoulders. “I did some research on Alexander the Great during my studies and the scholars didn’t…” He paused to carefully consider his words, “think that highly of me. But you will find out yourself.”

 

Alexander took hold of the heavy bag and his smile faded somewhat, hearing Hephaestion’s lackluster reply. “They don’t? How can that be?”

 

They exited the bookstore and made their way back to the car.

 

“I would really rather not discuss this.” Hephaestion walked beside Alexander, his gaze fixed on the pavement.

 

“Talk to me, Hephaestion.” Alexander would stop his lover and make him spill whatever bothered him. He didn’t care that they were in the middle of a crowd.

 

“I think they are under the impression that I only became a general in your army because I shared your bed. They don’t think too highly of me.” Hephaestion shrugged a second time. “Does it matter what they think? We know the truth.”

 

“It matters to me… and to you.” Alexander felt uncomfortable, understanding why scholars might have reached that conclusion. “But the truth is that your love and dedication made me conquer the world. You grounded me, Hephaestion. You kept me sane. And I never favored you over other soldiers. You commanded part of my army because you were the right person for that job. You had excellent strategic insights which helped me win several battles. If it hadn’t been for you my army would have starved during those harsh winters. You made certain we had enough provisions to last us through our march. Hephaestion, you rebuilt cities where I only excelled at devastating them.”

 

They had come to a stop and were attracting attention, but Alexander ignored the curious looks they were getting. It didn’t help that he had resorted to an ancient form of Greek, which he used to speak in those old days. “Don’t you know that?”

 

A soft smile curled Hephaestion’s lips. “Maybe I just need to hear it occasionally.”

 

Alexander chuckled and continued his walk. Hephaestion followed suit and they quickly reached the car. Alexander placed his shopping bags on the back seat and then slipped behind the steering wheel while Hephaestion occupied the passenger’s seat. “Are you ready to go home, Hephaestion?” He loved the way that sounded: home.

 

Hephaestion, still smiling, nodded his head once. He had come home in more ways than one.

 

~~~

 

Alexander soundlessly sneaked up on his beloved Hephaestion, who was deeply asleep. Hephaestion had settled down in the shade of one the fruit trees and it had been his intention to enjoy the view and get a bit of rest, but he had fallen asleep instead. Realizing his chance, Alexander crawled closer and knelt at Hephaestion’s side. His lover only wore a white shirt, already unbuttoned down to the navel and Alexander wickedly licked his lips. He knew just how he wanted Hephaestion to wake up. For one brief moment, regrets and sorrow came over him. He could have had this perfect peace and love in his first life, but had been too focused on running away from his mother when he should have been running toward Hephaestion instead.

 

He leaned in closer and pressed a light kiss against Hephaestion’s shoulder. His lover moaned, but didn’t awake yet. Hephaestion smiled in his sleep and Alexander’s tongue popped out, the tip trailing down the muscular chest. Hephaestion had kept himself in a fine shape and the memory of his lover actually using that strength during their love making instantly aroused Alexander.

 

Hephaestion sharply drawing in breath alerted Alexander that his lover was stirring from his sleep, but he didn’t stop his seduction yet. He unbuttoned the rest of the shirt, pushed the fabric apart and reveled in staring at his lover’s naked body. Hephaestion was also growing erect and, unable to fight temptation any longer, Alexander bent to perform this duty for his lover. He flicked his tongue over the purple head, sucked gently, and then moved down the column of flesh, taking in Hephaestion’s length.

 

Hephaestion’s eyelids fluttered before his eyes opened fully. Disbelief sparkled in those eyes, finding Alexander pleasuring him in *that* way. Alexander hadn’t done so much in their first lives, preferring to bury himself in Hephaestion’s body instead. But the sensation was divine and Hephaestion surrendered to the teasing licks.

 

Alexander curled his fingers around the base of his lover’s shaft and stroked in time with his licks. Hephaestion’s fingers found their way into his hair and gently urged him on, massaging his scalp. Alexander forced himself to breathe shallowly and relaxed his throat muscles, allowing Hephaestion to thrust upward.

 

“What… why…?” Delirious, Hephaestion tried to talk to Alexander, but his lover reacted by intensifying the suction and speeding up the pace. Soon he was thrusting wildly into that warm, welcoming mouth and he barely stopped himself from pushing Alexander’s head down onto his member.

 

Alexander managed to tilt his head and looked Hephaestion in the eye. His lover’s expression was dreamy and his eyes had become hooded. Concentration shone from Hephaestion’s face and Alexander smiled, realizing his lover was about to come.

 

Hephaestion yelped, never expecting Alexander to roughly squeeze the base of his erection. It stopped him from coming, and, panting hard, he stared wildly at his naked lover. Alexander must have planned this from the start, seeing his lover already hard and ready to make love with him.

 

“Not yet.” Alexander reached for the lubricant he had brought with him and smiled, wickedly. “Strawberry flavored. We didn’t we have this during our first lives?” Hephaestion continued to stare at him with his big, blue eyes and Alexander sped up, lubricating his lover’s hard flesh. Leaning in closer, he sensually whispered into his lover’s ear, “I want you to come inside of me.”

 

Hephaestion groaned pitifully and watched how Alexander lowered himself onto his length. The fact that Alexander seemed to enjoy being on the receiving end more and more still surprised him. It had always been the other way around in the past. A tight heat suddenly engulfed his member and the sensation made him whimper. Alexander always felt so warm, so tight around him!

 

Alexander knew he had surprised his lover and savored seeing the enraptured expression in the sapphire eyes clouded with lust and love. He took his time lowering himself onto Hephaestion’s shaft and wrapped his arms around his lover’s shoulders in order to support himself. Once he was firmly seated on Hephaestion’s lap, he stilled his movements and kissed his beloved.

 

Hephaestion reminded himself that he needed to draw in breath and did so quite shakily. Alexander had conquered him by storm and he didn’t know what to expect next, but then all movement stopped and Alexander rested his upper body against him. The golden head settled against his shoulder and Hephaestion wrapped his arms around his lover, steadying him. “Why are you doing this?” Their lovemaking had never been like this!

 

Alexander cocked his head so he could make eye contact with his lover. “I love the way you feel inside of me. It makes me feel whole, connected… complete. Do you understand that?”

 

“I feel like that when you are inside of me.” Hephaestion stroked Alexander’s back, which was tense now that his lover was impaled on his erection. “I love being inside of you.” It made him feel special, cherished and loved. “You have changed, do you know that?”

 

Alexander chuckled. “We never talked this much during our love making, did we?” But he had started this and he wanted to finish while still feeling Hephaestion lodged deep inside of him. “I was a fool back then. But, Hephaestion, you were always so damn eager to please. When we were children, you would always follow me around, giving me *that* look which said that you would do anything for me.”

 

“I would still do anything for you.” Hephaestion moaned in surprise now that Alexander started to move. His lover was rocking against him, causing the most exquisite sensations in his groin. “I won’t last long.”

 

“You don’t need to.” Alexander, once more enjoying being in control of their lovemaking, cunningly maneuvered Hephaestion toward orgasm. His lover tensed against him just before reaching his climax and Alexander squeezed the base of his own erection, keeping himself from coming along with his lover, as he had other ideas for himself.

 

Hephaestion’s head lolled against Alexander’s shoulder and he cried out as he found release. Alexander pressed down, keeping his lover firmly lodged and Hephaestion whimpered softly, almost fainting due to the divine sensation, but then something registered: “You didn’t come with me.”

 

“Very true…” Alexander panted softly and remained seated on Hephaestion’s lap, but didn’t move about any more, allowing his lover to savor his ecstasy.

 

“Why is that?” Hephaestion rested the back of his head against the trunk of the tree and ran his fingers down Alexander’s spine. “You are still hard.”

 

“I have plans for you.” Alexander grinned conspiringly and slowly raised himself, causing Hephaestion’s softening member to slip from his passage. “I want you, Hephaestion. I want to possess you.”

 

“You already do,” Hephaestion whispered, feeling quite breathless as he saw Alexander reach for the lubricant again. Oh, he could guess what was going to happen next.

 

Alexander rubbed the lubricant onto his throbbing erection and gave Hephaestion a wicked smile. “On your hands and knees, my Hephaestion.”

 

Hephaestion quivered, hearing that command uttered with such gentle force. “I can never deny you.” And yes, he wanted this as well. He rolled onto his stomach, pushed himself onto all fours and presented himself to his lover. One look over his shoulder told him that Alexander had taken himself into hand and was inching closer.

 

Alexander licked his bottom lip and parted the firm buttocks. Seeing the need in Hephaestion’s eyes and succumbing to his own lust, he pressed close. The head of his erection slipped past the outer ring and he buried himself with one firm stroke, almost knocking the breath out of his lover with that unexpected thrust.

 

Hephaestion threw back his head and his fingers clawed at the earth beneath him. Belatedly he realized that they were out in the open, exposed, and people might be watching them. That thought only aroused him further and, much to his surprise, he was growing hard again.

 

Alexander grabbed hold of Hephaestion’s hips and remained motionless, thoroughly enjoying seeing his lover at his mercy. “You are mine, Hephaestion, forever.”

 

“Yes, yours…” Hephaestion’s voice sounded raspy and raw and he prepared himself for that first thrust that would rock his world and make his head spin, like it always did. Alexander moved, almost pulled out, and then sheathed himself again, rubbing his prostate in the process. “I love it when… when you…” Another thrust took his breath away and this time, Hephaestion waited for the right moment to press back and receive Alexander even deeper inside him.

 

Alexander set a slow rhythm. Instead of taking Hephaestion hard and fast as he would have in the distant past, he now took his time and angled his every thrust at his lover’s prostate. The slow, deep rhythm he was setting drove him mad with desire and Hephaestion’s needy, eager moans only urged him on. Alexander threw back his head, growled, and drove himself once more into Hephaestion’s warm body. He lasted long, much longer than he normally would now that he was pacing himself, but in the end, Hephaestion’s pitiful moans drove him over the edge.

 

“Oh… yes!” Alexander whipped his hips forward, grew motionless and filled his lover with his essence. His eyes widened, feeling Hephaestion’s passage contract around him and he realized his lover had climaxed again. He quickly rested his upper body against Hephaestion’s back, reached below his lover’s abdomen and wrapped his fingers around the slick organ. “You came for me.”

 

Hephaestion felt too drained to reply and collapsed onto his stomach.

 

Hephaestion’s action surprised Alexander, who had no option but to follow his lover down. “Am I too heavy?”

 

“No…” Hephaestion closed his eyes and surrendered to bliss. He turned his head and looked at Alexander from over his shoulder. “I love it when you crave me – when you take me in that way.” But what had surprised him the most was that Alexander had taken himself first, bringing him to orgasm that way. A lot had changed between them and he welcomed the changes. It was like Alexander was bent on pleasuring him in a way his lover had never done before.

 

“Do you want to go for a swim?” Alexander, feeling energetic after making love to the other half of his soul, slowly pulled out and pushed himself to his feet. Looking at Hephaestion, still lying on the grass and looking utterly ravished with his seed still attached to his skin made Alexander’s heart beat even faster with love for the other man. “Here, let me help you.”

 

Hephaestion reluctantly turned around and sat upright. If it had been up to him, he would have curled up in Alexander’s arms and have gone back to sleep. But he didn’t want to disappoint his lover and allowed Alexander to pull him to his feet.

 

Alexander folded an arm around Hephaestion’s waist and together they descended the stairs, making their way onto the beach. Alexander ran into the waves and pulled Hephaestion along and it wasn’t long before they were splashing each other with water and trying to dunk each other. It had been a long time since they had been able to act so carefree. In the end, Alexander moved into Hephaestion’s arms and settled for standing close to his lover while the waves gently lapped at their bodies. Words could never express how much he loved Hephaestion so he kissed the other man instead.

 

Part 2

 

Alexander and Hephaestion settled into a comfortable routine during the next few weeks. Their personal belongings had finally arrived, giving their new home a special touch.

 

Alexander mostly enjoyed spending time with Boukephalos, taking the stallion for rides. Peritas often accompanied them and the elderly dog seemed to flourish under the tender, loving care Alexander and Hephaestion bestowed upon him.

 

In the morning, Alexander and Hephaestion would go for a run to keep themselves in shape, but Alexander could never run for long, as the old injury in his side continued to hamper him. During the day, Alexander would settle down beneath one of the fruit trees, reading one of the books he had bought. Their evenings were always spent together and Alexander found he liked preparing their dinner and trying out new recipes.

 

Hephaestion’s laptop had arrived, enabling him to be in constant contact with his father, who was taking care of his son’s business since Hephaestion had resigned from his teaching job. Hephaestion, however, didn’t intend to be idle and resolved to write a book about Aristotle. The fact that his memories had returned gave him the chance to portray the Greek philosopher in a new way. He also hoped that the book would sell well for that would be another means of income for them.

 

Although everything seemed well with Alexander acting carefree, Hephaestion still worried. In the past, Alexander had always been an active man, bent on making new discoveries or conquering more countries. Hephaestion couldn’t help but worry that Alexander would grow tired of him and that the resulting restlessness would cause them to drift apart. In the past, he would never have considered confronting Alexander with such a fear, but their dynamics had changed and one night, he took the notion to confide his fears to Alexander.

 

Hephaestion located Alexander in the meadow where he was putting himself through some basic defense moves. Alexander had been delighted when two swords had arrived, having been a part of Hephaestion’s personal belongings, and he had quickly claimed one of them. On cool evenings they sparred and Alexander was delighted that he often won the match.

 

Hephaestion settled down on the grass, sitting cross-legged, and Boukephalos approached, burying his warm nose in Hephaestion’s hair. The stallion’s antics made him smile. He patted his knee, signaling to Peritas that he wanted to dog to curl up beside him. The dog complied and rested his head atop Hephaestion’s knee and closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of his new owner rubbing him behind the ears.

 

Alexander’s eyes took in his lover’s form and, seeing the tension in the broad shoulders, he realized that something troubled Hephaestion. He put his sword down and approached. “Is something wrong?” He sat down opposite Hephaestion, then leaned in closer and placed his hands on Hephaestion’s knees. Peritas opened an eye, moved his head down Hephaestion’s thigh to make way for Alexander’s hand, and closed his eyes again, settling into a peaceful slumber.

 

“I am worried.” Hephaestion nibbled on his bottom lip, gathering the courage to raise his eyes and study Alexander’s. He was still growing accustomed to the new power balance between them. In some ways, Alexander would always remain his superior, the King who had conquered the world and commanded an enormous army. Remembering Alexander’s glory, he felt small and humble. It didn’t matter how often Alexander told him that he was the reason why his lover had been successful; a part of him would always have trouble accepting he meant so much to the former King.

 

“About what?” Alexander inched closer still and was now in a position to fold his arms around Hephaestion’s waist. “Look at me and tell me.” Seeing Hephaestion so hesitant and shy worried him. During his first life, he had never given his lover’s doubts much thought as there had never been time or opportunity to explore Hephaestion’s uncertainties.

 

Hephaestion moistened his lips and met Alexander’s gaze. “Are you happy here?”

 

Alexander blinked; he'd never expected that particular question. “Why do you doubt I am happy?”

 

“You…” Hephaestion shrugged, cringing now that he was going to voice his fears. “I am afraid you will grow bored here and tired of my presence. You have never known such peace. You once lived for the moment, for battle and glory. And now I am forcing you to sit here and watch the sun set with me.”

 

Alexander’s heart contracted painfully, seeing the hurt expression in Hephaestion’s eyes. In response, he pulled his beloved close and hugged him tight, though he never broke eye contact while doing so. “Listen to me, Hephaestion, and listen carefully. I am happy. I am happy because I have your love. I am happy because you are at my side. I am happy because we make love each night and waking up in your arms makes me happy as well.” He hoped he was getting his message across.

 

“But…” Hephaestion moistened his lips again, a sure sign that his nervousness was increasing. “Aren’t you growing bored? Restless?”

 

Alexander drew in a deep breath and didn’t try to deny the truth. “It happens sometimes, yes, but that doesn’t mean I want this to change. I take Boukephalos for a ride when I grow restless and when I return here, I realize just how damn lucky I am to hold you in my arms again. Do you really think I would give that up? For what?”

 

Tears gathered in Hephaestion’s eyes. “You would sacrifice that much for me?”

 

“You really don’t understand a word I am saying, do you?” Alexander shook his head, becoming frustrated. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you – right here. I want to grow old with you and sit in front of our home, watching the sun set when we are old and bent with age. I want all that. I have seen my share of blood and war. Now I want to know peace and love.”

 

Hephaestion’s heart leapt in his chest and he finally allowed himself to believe that Alexander was really happy here. “Don’t you miss your life?”

 

“What life?” Alexander cocked his head and gave Hephaestion his most blinding smile. “You are my life and you are right here. What else could I want?” Alexander tightened his hold on Hephaestion the moment his lover collapsed against him and he rubbed the muscular back. “Stop doubting yourself, Hephaestion. Stop doubting our love.”

 

“That is easier said than done. I remember how driven, how passionate you were, wanting to conquer the world.”

 

“That was another life time, Hephaestion. That was another Alexander.” Alexander held Hephaestion close and he felt his lover calm down. “I love you, Hephaestion, and I want to grow old with you. No glory for me in this life time. I found something better: I found love.”

 

~~~

 

That evening, Hephaestion stole into the bathroom after Alexander and watched his lover for several moments, savoring the sight of him. Their conversation earlier that day had taken away some of his doubts and he felt somewhat more secure expressing himself. But there was still one aspect of their changed relationship he found hard to accept – that fact that Alexander seemed to crave being taken by him. When they had first made love, Alexander had beseeched him to act on the desire to take him should Hephaestion want to. But could he really do that?

 

“Are you going to stand there and watch me or will you join me?” Alexander cast a teasing look over his shoulder. He had sensed the change that had come over his lover after their talk and wondered what had driven Hephaestion to join him in the bathroom.

 

Hephaestion swallowed hard, trying to do away with his nervousness as he stepped into the shower cabin to join Alexander. His lover’s naked body called to him, but his expression grew saddened as he saw the scar Alexander’s side bore. “Is the injury still troubling you?”

 

“Only when we run.” Alexander turned around to face Hephaestion. One look below the waistline told him that his lover was hard. “See anything you like?” He enjoyed teasing Hephaestion in this way. His lover grew flustered and shuffled his feet.

 

“What if I do?” Hephaestion’s pupils dilated and his breathing sped up.

 

Alexander easily read his lover’s need and moved closer. “What do you need from me, Hephaestion?”

 

“I…” Hephaestion’s blush deepened. “I want you.” Hearing Alexander sharply draw in his breath, he broke eye contact and stared at the floor, watching the water disappear down the drain. “You said that you wanted me to act on my feelings, but…” Maybe Alexander had changed his mind?

 

“I do… I want that.” Alexander purred into Hephaestion’s ear. He found his lover’s bashfulness endearing, but wished he knew of a way to make Hephaestion feel more at ease. /He needs time. Our roles have drastically changed./

 

“You do?” Hephaestion raised his eyes and searched Alexander’s. “If you do then…” He extended his hand and uncurled his fingers, showing Alexander he had brought along lubricant. “I would never impose…” He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as Alexander pulled him close and covered his lips with his.

 

Alexander sighed blissfully as Hephaestion’s large hands traveled down to settle on his buttocks. Hephaestion was already aroused and desired him. All he needed to do was to encourage his lover to continue this seduction, even if it was a somewhat clumsy seduction. He was certain Hephaestion would learn quickly how to master him and, by Zeus, he wanted his lover to master him!

 

“Take me, Hephaestion.” He rubbed his groin against Hephaestion’s, giving his erection the stimulation it craved. “I am yours.” Speaking those words and finally realizing they were true, turned him on even more. Letting go of control, of old responsibilities, ancient fears, and ingrained upbringing greatly appealed to him. He wanted Hephaestion to take charge for then he could forget who he was, who he had been in the past.

 

Being in this situation with Alexander was a test for Hephaestion. Could he really take charge? He felt nervous and moved closer, pressing Alexander against the tiled wall.

 

Alexander’s eyes narrowed, taking in Hephaestion’s muscular form appreciatively. He ran his hands down the impressive chest and wrapped his fingers around his lover’s hard flesh. Leaning in closer, his voice took on a raw and needy tone when he rasped into Hephaestion’s ear, “Make me yours, Hephaestion. Claim your possession.” His words had the desired effect and caused Hephaestion to sway. “Any way you want.” Alexander was able to pinpoint the exact moment Hephaestion threw caution to the wind and he quivered with lust, reading the need in the stormy, blue eyes.

 

Hephaestion shoved his hands beneath Alexander’s buttocks and lifted him.

 

Alexander yelped, a little surprised now that he had lost his footing. Hephaestion easily held him in place and Alexander quickly wrapped his legs around his lover’s waist while folding his arms around Hephaestion’s neck in order to support himself. His erection twitched with excitement and Alexander moaned against Hephaestion’s chest. His lover only needed one hand to steady him and it rested beneath his buttocks, supporting him. Alexander threw back his head, still clinging to Hephaestion as he felt an oiled finger probe the entrance to his body. “By Zeus, yes!”

 

Alexander’s gaze returned to Hephaestion's face and remained trained on him, causing Hephaestion to finally throw caution to the wind as he entered Alexander with one smooth thrust.

 

Alexander’s eyes widened with pleasure. Hephaestion’s oiled flesh thrust upward, rubbing his prostate, and making him very much aware of the fact that he clung to his lover for support. Hephaestion easily held him up and Alexander buried his face in the auburn hair, accepting and enjoying the next thrust that nudged his prostate. “Yes, I want this, Hephaestion… Oh yes!” It wasn’t like him to talk much during sex, especially not now that he was in such a vulnerable position, but he wanted to make certain that Hephaestion knew he enjoyed this – that he wanted this.

 

Hephaestion pressed Alexander firmly against him, more moving his lover on his erection than thrusting upward. Seeing Alexander surrender to him in such an unconditional way only made him want to please his lover more and he managed to thrust again while moving Alexander on his shaft.

 

Alexander cried out in ecstasy and quivered. He didn’t want to come yet, but the position, Hephaestion’s forceful thrust, and seeing his lover bent on possessing him catapulted him toward orgasm. He clung to Hephaestion, rested his head on his lover’s shoulder and rode out the waves of bliss while Hephaestion continued to thrust and move Alexander upon him.

 

Hephaestion quickly succumbed to the massaging effect Alexander’s contractions had on him and vehemently pulled his lover close, forcing himself even deeper. His breathing quickened and he panted while he kept Alexander in place. His lover didn’t seem to weigh a thing due to the adrenaline and ecstasy flowing through him.

 

Unable to move off of Hephaestion’s length yet, Alexander bit into his lover’s shoulder and his fingernails clawed the broad back. Hephaestion would carry away scratches from this encounter, but something told Alexander that his lover wouldn’t mind. “Hephaestion, I…” Making love in this way had drained him and he looked toward Hephaestion to put him back onto his feet. He hoped he could stand unaided for being claimed in such a way had made him go weak inside.

 

With the utmost care, Hephaestion lifted Alexander away from his softening member and put him back onto his feet again. “Alexander, I…” He felt he should apologize for losing control and taking advantage of Alexander in such a way, but one look at the sparkling, golden eyes shut him up. He had seen Alexander’s eyes alight with passion before and back then they had also burned golden. “Did I please you?” Somehow, that thought stunned him.

 

“Oh, yes, you definitely did.” Alexander kept his arms wrapped around Hephaestion for support. “You can claim me in the shower whenever you want.” Droplets of cooling water still cascaded upon their heated bodies and seemed to vaporize upon contact. “I definitely approved of that,” Alexander added, troubled to see the still apprehensive expression in the azure eyes. /Time, he needs time. He has already taken a major step./ He leaned in closer, rested his upper body against Hephaestion’s, and purred in satisfaction. Being claimed in that way had made him feel light-headed and tiny waves of pleasure still emanated from his groin as his member convulsed with the last droplets of seed.

 

Hephaestion felt somewhat reassured by Alexander’s passionate declaration and held him close. In the end, a cocky smile appeared on his face. Alexander had never lied to him before and his lover wouldn’t start now. Alexander had truly enjoyed being made love to in that way and Hephaestion was already looking forward to the next time he could claim his lover and former King.

 

~~~

 

“I picked up the local newspaper today,” Alexander announced as he sat himself next to Hephaestion on the grass. Peritas was resting, while Hephaestion was typing away on his laptop. “Would you like to go here with me?” Alexander pointed at the entertainment section. “It looks like some sort of circus.”

 

“Sure, we can go.” Hephaestion’s gaze left the screen and took in his lover’s flushed expression. “What have you been up to?”

“I went running and my side gave me some trouble.” Alexander petted Peritas’ head and rested his upper body against Hephaestion. “I wish I had been wise enough to do this the first time around. Why did I chase glory and fame instead?”

 

Hephaestion thought it best not to answer that question. Alexander had made peace with his past, but still remained full of regrets. He had assured Alexander that there was nothing to regret, but his lover’s opinion differed from his, and he did as he had done countless times before: he didn’t comment and allowed Alexander to sort out his thoughts alone.

 

~~~

 

“That was a good show.” Alexander opened the door to a tavern which they had encountered on their way back from the circus and stepped inside. It was cozy. Instead of grueling electric lights, the tavern owner had opted for old-fashioned oil lamps and candles and their warm glow illuminated the large room. They chose to sit down in the back, where they had a lovely view of the bay. The waiter arrived and they placed their order, asking for red wine, olives, and feta. “Life is good, isn’t it?” Alexander twined his fingers with Hephaestion’s and rested his head against his lover’s shoulder.

 

Hephaestion nodded, not bothering to answer aloud and relished sitting here in such peace and quiet with Alexander at his side.

 

The waiter brought the wine and food, placed it on the side table, and left them to their musings.

 

“We will come back here when we are old and gaze out over that bay. We will order wine and get drunk, honoring the old days,” Alexander commented with a fond tone in his voice.

 

“I like that.” Hephaestion pressed a chaste kiss onto the golden locks that teased his face. The peaceful ambiance, however, was unexpectedly shattered by the innkeeper’s harsh voice.

 

“I don’t serve your kind. Get out or I will set the dog after you!”

 

“I have money! I can pay for the food!”

 

The argument drew Alexander and Hephaestion’s attention and their gazes sought out the innkeeper, wondering why the man was chasing off paying clientele. Alexander sucked in his breath seeing the customer. It was a young man, almost still a boy, who was pleading with the innkeeper to serve him the food. Raven hair reached the narrow waist and dark, almost black eyes, which seemed haunted, were firmly fixed on the money on the counter.

 

“I can pay!”

 

“By the sweet breath of Aphrodite,” Hephaestion whispered in recognition. “Is that…? That can not be!” He had reached the same conclusion Alexander had and he wasn’t sure to feel pleased or annoyed at seeing the younger man standing there.

 

“It is him, Hephaestion. Look at the eyes. Look at the way he carries himself. Wounded in his pride, but unbroken. It is Bagoas, Hephaestion.” Alexander lifted his head from Hephaestion’s shoulder and looked his lover in the eye. “What do you want to do?” He would let his lover decide whether to address Bagoas or not.

 

“Be on your way, boy. This is a respectable tavern. I don’t want your kind here.” The innkeeper glared at the youth with obvious disdain and then turned his back on his rejected customer, pretending to be busy with the glasses.

 

“But I am hungry and I have money!”

 

Alexander cringed, hearing desperation slip into that soft, sweet voice that had so often soothed him. His instincts told him to interfere and take Bagoas’ side in this argument, but he wouldn’t act on those feelings – not when Hephaestion hadn’t given him an answer yet. He would understand if Hephaestion told him to ignore this tragic character from their past, but his heart still urged him to reach out to Bagoas. “Do you think he also remembers?”

 

Hephaestion shook his head. “I don’t think so.” The dark eyes weren’t haunted by ancient memories. “We shouldn’t approach him. Who knows if he wants to know who he once was? Maybe it is best for him not to remember that he was a eunuch and suffered much in the past.”

 

Alexander’s heart beat with pity and compassion, wanting to embrace Bagoas and to hold him close. He had loved Bagoas in his very own way. That love didn’t compare to the connection he felt with Hephaestion, but it was love nonetheless. “If that is what you want.”

 

“I told to you to leave, whore!”

 

That last word echoed through the tavern, making Alexander and Hephaestion’s eyes narrow.

 

The boy seemed to shrink into himself and backed away from the counter, moving toward the doorway. The shoulders slumped and he bowed his head in defeat.

 

“Hephaestion, did you hear what that man called him?” Alexander’s rage was building.

 

“I heard.” Hephaestion’s thoughts raced. His most important reason for not approaching the boy had been concern. He was worried that remembering his past would only hurt Bagoas, but now it seemed the boy had already been hurt. His heart, his goodness, and loyalty to Alexander told him that he couldn’t let Bagoas leave like that. Not like a beaten dog that was ready to curl up and lick his wounds. “Why don’t you follow him outside, Alexander? I will arrange for some food and join you in a few minutes. It might be best if you approached him alone. Bagoas always had a soft spot for you.”

 

Alexander’s heart jumped with joy and he gave Hephaestion a grateful look. “Thank you for being you, Hephaestion.” His lover had never been able to turn his back on someone in need, even when that someone was a former rival for his love. Alexander rose from his chair, pressed a kiss onto Hephaestion’s brow and stole after Bagoas when the boy left the tavern.

 

~~~

 

“Stop!”

 

The command made him halt in his tracks and he spun around, fully expecting the innkeeper to chase after him in order to throw more insults at him, but he was stunned to find a blond man running toward him. His eyes narrowed, trying to discern the man’s features, but it was dark out here. “What do you want from me?” His fingers curled around the pocket knife which he always carried with him, ready to defend himself.

 

“Just wait a little longer. My friend is ordering food and will bring it out here.” Alexander noticed the suspicious expression in the black eyes and came to a standstill at some distance, not wanting the younger man to feel cornered. “It wasn’t right, the way that innkeeper treated you. If you are hungry, you should be able to eat.”

 

The young man shrugged his shoulders once, but his fingers remained curled around his knife. “He made his opinion of me very clear. I had better leave before he releases the dog or calls the police.”

 

Alexander drank in the familiar form. He had loved Bagoas once and seeing him in this form made his heart ache with a familiar pain. “My name is Alexander,” he said, extending his right hand and offering it in friendship. “What is yours?”

 

“You can call me whatever you like.” The wary young man stared at the hand like it was a snake ready to strike at him. “What do you want from me? He lied, you know. I am not a whore!”

 

But Alexander read the pitiful truth in the haunted eyes. Something had happened to this version of Bagoas and he was afraid to think the youth’s current fate resembled the fate he had suffered in the past. “I know you are not.”

 

A dangerous glint appeared in the black eyes, almost making Alexander back away from the younger man. He wanted to hear Bagoas’ story, wanted to awaken those memories in the hope that the younger man would find comfort in the fact that all three of them had returned. “But why does the innkeeper think you are?” He retracted his hand now that Bagoas refused to shake it.

 

The lips became a narrow line and the expression in the dark eyes hardened. “What do you want from me? If you are looking for a quick fuck, look elsewhere.” He uncovered part of the knife and the blade glittered in the moonlight. “You won’t take me without a fight.”

 

Alexander’s stomach turned, realizing what might have happened to Bagoas in this life. /Zeus, couldn’t you spare him this ordeal?/

 

At exactly that moment, Hephaestion exited the tavern, carrying a tray filled with food, as well as carafes of water and wine. The blade shimmered in the moonbeams and he grew cautious, joining Alexander and not approaching the younger man. “I brought food.” He placed the tray on the ground and then stepped away from it. “You look hungry.” That was quite the understatement; the younger man’s cheek bones were sharply defined, the wrists painfully thin, and the skin possessed an unhealthy pallor. “You should eat.”

 

“I don’t need your charity!” He was growing furious with the two men, though he couldn’t exactly say why. “I am not a whore! I am no prostitute! You can not buy me!”

 

Alexander swallowed painfully, desperately hoping he had reached the wrong conclusion. “They forced you instead, didn’t they?” Bagoas, the eunuch, had also been forced into slavery.

 

An angry growl escaped the young man’s throat and, in his rage, he lunged for the blond man, trying to stab him.

 

“No you don’t!” Hephaestion’s reflexes were the fastest and before Alexander could react, he had grabbed hold of the boy’s wrist. His fingers curled around the thin wrist, feeling nothing but bone and skin. Unfortunately, this first contact also sparked the first, painful, memory.

 

Bagoas screamed, suddenly feeling a terrible pain in his lower body. They had tied him to some sort of chair, a horrendous contraption that was smeared with old blood and dried tears shed by boys who had lost their manhood there as well. The two men, while chatting idly, wielded their knives as they had done a hundred times before, cutting him and making him bleed. A scream full of terror and pain left his lips and he instinctively clutched at the man close to him. 

 

“I have him,” Hephaestion stated firmly. “Alexander, the knife…”

 

Alexander quickly removed the knife from the boy’s hold and then watched as the younger man pressed close against Hephaestion, sobbing and shaking like a leaf. “It has started.”

 

Hephaestion merely nodded his head. The younger man trembled against him and whimpered in a painful way, making it very clear just what memory he was reliving. “Let it go, my friend. Let the pain go.”

 

But the youth was in an excruciating amount of pain and not really listening. The only thing he wanted was for that terrible pain to stop. With superhuman strength, he managed to break free from the auburn-haired man and ran away from the two strangers, seeking cover in the forest he knew so well. He could hide here and the two men would never find him!

 

Alexander stared at the fleeing boy in shock and reacted too late. By the time he was ready to run after Bagoas, the younger man had disappeared from view. “Now what?” He turned and looked pleadingly at Hephaestion.

 

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath. “If he doesn’t want to be found, we will fail in our search.” Looking at the tray with food, he considered their situation. “He ran because he is terrified. By chasing after him, we will only make it worse.”

 

“What do you suggest we do?” Alexander felt at a loss. He desperately wanted to search for Bagoas, take him in, and care for him. Looking at Hephaestion, he saw the same need and emotions there.

 

Hephaestion picked up the tray and started for the forest. Alexander followed suit, wondering about his lover’s plans. Hephaestion entered the forest, placed the tray back onto the earth, and removed a pen, paper, and money from his pocket. He began to scribble something down and Alexander looked at the piece of paper from over his lover’s shoulder. “What are you doing?”

 

“Leaving directions in case he decides to look for us. It is best if he seeks us out.” Hephaestion finished writing down the directions, drew a little map, and placed money beneath the plate with the food. “We will drop by again shortly if he doesn’t seek us out.” He rose from the ground and placed his hands on Alexander’s shoulders. “I want him safe as well, Alexander.”

 

“I never doubted that.” Alexander took hold of one of Hephaestion’s hands and kissed its back. “It is just… I don’t want to leave him behind. Not here in the forest.”

 

“We don’t have a choice.” Hephaestion steered Alexander back to their car. “If it is our destiny to have Bagoas at our side again, he will come to us.”

 

Alexander opened the passenger’s door and cast one last look towards the direction the younger man had disappeared in. “It happened again, Hephaestion. He was abused again. That is why he doesn’t trust us. That is why the innkeeper called him a whore.”

 

Hephaestion’s eyes darkened. “Have faith in him, Alexander. Bagoas loved you dearly in the past. I trust that this love will surface again and guide him to us.” His touch had sparked Bagoas’ memories and they could only hope that the need to find answers would make Bagoas seek them out.

 

Part 3

 

Alexander’s restlessness and worries also affected Hephaestion. Three days ago they had encountered Bagoas and, so far, the younger man hadn’t sought them out. Hephaestion had hoped that Bagoas would decide to trust them and seek shelter with them. He had practically counted on that, thinking Bagoas would remember his old feelings for Alexander. But maybe too few memories had surfaced yet, making Bagoas reluctant to act on the directions Hephaestion had left behind.

 

It was late at night and they had cuddled up to each other in bed. Both men felt anxious and worried about Bagoas. Hephaestion had wrapped his arms tightly around Alexander, holding him close and sensing his lover’s fretfulness. “There is nothing we can do, Alexander.”

 

Alexander bit his bottom lip and rubbed his face against Hephaestion’s shoulder. He knew Hephaestion was right, but he still worried about Bagoas. “We should have been more careful, Hephaestion. We let him get away.”

 

“If he doesn’t want to be found, we won’t find him.” Hephaestion stroked Alexander’s fair hair. “I worry about him too, Alexander.”

 

Alexander lifted his head and stared into his lover’s cloudy eyes. “He never really liked you.”

 

Hephaestion chuckled. “Bagoas was possessive of you. I am certain he would have preferred for me to disappear from your life.”

 

“Did you hate him for that?” They had never really discussed this and Alexander was curious.

 

“Hate him? Never.” Hephaestion shook his head. “I pitied him at first for what had been done to him. Later on, I realized he truly loved you and I was grateful that he was there for you when I could not.”

 

“What were you feelings for Bagoas?” Alexander searched Hephaestion’s eyes, knowing his lover would never hide his true feelings from him.

 

Hephaestion smiled at Alexander. “Bagoas was handsome, Alexander; handsome, intelligent, and talented. I enjoyed seeing him dance.”

 

“Hephaestion…” Alexander mumbled, wondering if Hephaestion was holding back on purpose.

 

“I would have liked to have been friends with him. The fate that befell him was cruel and I would have liked to make life more enjoyable for him. But he had decided I posed a threat to him and hated me instead.”

 

“Were you? A threat to him?”

 

Hephaestion’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “He was a threat to me, Alexander.”

 

“In what way?”

 

“Do you know he tried to buy poison once? It was shortly after he saw us together for the first time. I guess he became jealous. He was always very possessive of you.” Hephaestion ran his fingertips along Alexander’s jaw line.

 

“And you never acted on that? You never told me?” This was the first time he heard that Bagoas might have tried poisoning Hephaestion!

 

“He reconsidered. I assume he realized that you loved me and that he didn’t want to hurt you.” Hephaestion briefly closed his eyes, allowing his thoughts to drift back to the past. “Bagoas only had one flaw as far as I am concerned and that was his jealousy. He should have accepted our love…”

 

Alexander sensed that Hephaestion had wanted to add something, but for some reason his lover had reconsidered. “And then what?”

 

Hephaestion’s features momentarily contorted and he opened his eyes to meet Alexander’s inquiring gaze. “I might have been able to love him as you did.”

 

Alexander moistened his lips. “You think I loved him?”

 

“Didn’t you?” Hephaestion frowned. He still felt a bit ill at ease to be discussing this with his lover.

 

Alexander took his time to search his feelings. “I guess you are right… I loved him, after a fashion, but not like I love you.”

 

Hephaestion smiled. “I thought as much.”

 

Alexander’s eyes narrowed, fully realizing what Hephaestion had just said. “You would have done that? You would have offered him your love?”

 

“The same way you offered him your love,” Hephaestion clarified. “Nothing compares to what I feel for you, Alexander, but Bagoas touched my heart in some way. I cared about him too.”

 

“And he never realized that.” Alexander, who had lifted his head, now rested it back onto Hephaestion’s chest. “Such a pity.” But something else continued to gnaw at him. “Why didn’t you tell me Bagoas had planned to poison you?”

 

“He reconsidered.” Hephaestion paused, pressing a kiss onto Alexander’s hair. “And I understood why he felt that way. Everything he was, everything he knew, had been taken away from him: his family, his manhood, and his freedom. All he had left was you. I didn’t blame him for loving you.”

 

Alexander finally understood. Hephaestion’s heart would have been big enough to also extend his love to Bagoas and he loved Hephaestion even more for having such a loving and gentle nature. Now that he knew where Hephaestion stood, Alexander felt more at ease addressing his lover next. “I want to go back, Hephaestion. I want to go back to that tavern and get him. I don’t want him to be out there alone.”

 

Hephaestion soothingly rubbed Alexander’s back. “He might have left long ago, Alexander. I doubt we will find him there. Knowing Bagoas, he has long moved on.”

 

“Why did history repeat itself? You know what he said. You saw the expression in his eyes. He has been hurt -- again.” The words Bagoas had uttered wouldn’t leave Alexander alone. “I want to protect him. I need to know him safe.”

 

“I feel the same way, Alexander. I really do. But there is not much we can do. We can only hope that more memories will return to Bagoas and that they will urge him to seek us out. My touch sparked his first trip into the past and he must be wondering what is happening to him. I left money and instructions so, if he wants to, he can find us.”

 

Alexander lifted his eyes. “Do you really believe he will come to us?”

 

“He came to you that first time, didn’t he? Out of his own free will.”

 

“Not exactly,” Alexander whispered. “I don’t believe he had much of a choice.”

 

“You will have to put your faith in him, my Alexander. If this is meant to be, he will find us.” Hephaestion tightened his hold on his lover and held Alexander close during the night.

 

~~~

 

Sounds coming from outside woke Hephaestion just before the sun started to rise. He listened closely, hearing something shuffle around the premises. Carefully, he moved away from Alexander, who remained soundly asleep, and left the bed in order to investigate. Peritas, who was asleep at the foot of the bed, opened one eye to see why Hephaestion was leaving the bed.

 

“Go back to sleep, my old friend.” Hephaestion petted the head and cast a quick look at Alexander, who hadn’t woken yet. He moved over to the doorway and soundlessly closed the door behind him. Last night, they had made love in the living room and he slipped into his jeans which he had left there. Not bothering with the shirt, he stole toward the window to cast a look outside, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. The sound remained though, like someone was dragging something over the ground, alarming him further.

 

Hephaestion honed in on the sound and slipped out of the back door, intending to surprise the burglar. Squeezing his eyes half shut in concentration, he made out a dark form moving along the wall. Moving closer still, he wished he had brought along a weapon: a knife, or even a sword.

 

The dark form suddenly seemed to crumble and collapsed against the wall. The intruder slowly slid down the wall and ended up huddled in a heap. Hephaestion’s eyes widened as he realized the identity of their visitor. The long, raven hair had finally revealed the face and Hephaestion quickly approached, knowing Bagoas presented no danger to him. He could easily overpower the younger man if necessary, but he doubted Bagoas would attack him.

 

“Bagoas?” Hephaestion didn’t know how much the younger man remembered and slowly approached, giving Bagoas a chance to notice him and see him advance on him.

 

A startled yelp left bruised and bloodied lips and he lifted his eyes, daring to believe that the two men were as kind as he had hoped they were. “Please…” He weakly raised his right hand, palm upward, to show he didn’t carry a weapon. “Please help me.”

 

Hephaestion knelt at Bagoas’ side and studied the younger man’s face, which was black and blue. Large bruises covered the handsome face and the split lip was still bleeding. “You are hurt.” Old warrior instincts surfaced and he placed his hands on the younger man’s shoulders, allowing them to slide down the chest in a search for additional injuries – and encountered them.

 

The injured man moaned in pain now that Hephaestion was touching his bruised ribs. “I only need to warm up. I will be gone again in the morning.” He didn’t know what had made him follow the directions Hephaestion had left. He only knew he had been desperate to find a warm hiding place. “Please don’t turn me away.” The azure eyes that looked at him made him shiver. Although he didn’t quite fear the other man, he felt uneasy asking him for help. Why couldn’t the blond man, Alexander, have found him? Unexpectedly, Hephaestion leaned in closer and Bagoas yelped once more as he felt hands slip beneath his back and knees.

 

“Don’t worry. I am only taking you inside.” The younger man looked like he would faint any moment now. “What happened to you?”

 

Losing contact with the ground startled him, and he closed his eyes in order to fight the vertigo that was making his head spin. “They found me,” he managed from between clenched teeth.

 

Realizing questioning had to wait Hephaestion carried the younger man into the living room. His charge hardly weighed anything and Hephaestion was startled to see the protruding bones, showing him just how malnourished the younger man was. “Why don’t you start by telling me your name? That way I know what to call you.” He gave his charge his most charming look.

 

“They called me Bardia in the orphanage. Don’t know if it is my real name.” He released a shaky breath when Hephaestion lowered him onto the couch. “I will stain it.” He was bleeding and didn’t want to cause trouble.

 

“We will have it cleaned. Don’t worry about it.” He should wake Alexander, but Hephaestion wanted a moment alone with his former rival. Studying the dark eyes, he realized that Bagoas hadn’t regained all of his memories yet. Maybe that one glimpse into his painful past had been enough to shock Bagoas and to keep all other memories at a distance. “You are safe here.”

 

“Thank you.” He moaned now that the comfort of the couch rose to meet him and his head lolled against the pillow. “I wasn’t sure you would let me in.” He hadn’t been certain of anything.

 

“I am going to wake Alexander. He needs to know you are here and he can help me examine your injuries. How severe are they? Shouldn’t we take you to a hospital?”

 

“No! No hospital! That isn’t necessary!” He had to remain hidden! If they found him again they would kill him!

 

“Hephaestion? What’s that noise about?” Alexander rubbed his eyes, trying to clear the sleep from them and then, seeing their guest, stared at Bagoas in bewilderment. He had given up hope that the younger man would seek them out. “It is you!”

 

He flinched, hearing Alexander’s outcry as he saw the dazed expression in the brown eyes. “I hoped you wouldn’t mind…”

 

Hephaestion cut his patient short. “We can talk later. We should check on you first.” And they should get some food into the younger man! “Alexander, would you make tea and some sandwiches? Our guest needs to eat.”

 

Alexander nodded his head once and disappeared into the kitchen, needing a moment to compose himself.

 

Hephaestion chided himself for sending Alexander into the kitchen. They should have switched roles – Bagoas would be more at ease with Alexander tending to him. “I need to remove your clothes.” Frightened eyes met his, making him feel even more sympathy for the injured man. “You probably don’t believe me, but you can trust us.”

 

He nodded once, giving Hephaestion permission to remove his clothes. After all, men had seen him naked before.

 

“I will be gentle.” Hephaestion pried the clothes from the skin and cringed, seeing the large bruises on his charge’s body. “Why don’t you tell us what happened?” Hopefully telling them would distract Bagoas.

 

“I don’t know where to start,” he replied in a shaky voice. He was too tired, too nervous, and too drained to sort out his thoughts and feelings. All he wanted was to sleep.

 

And thankfully, Hephaestion realized that. Hephaestion fumbled awkwardly with the threadbare jeans and then removed them, leaving Bagoas clad in only his briefs. One particular question occupied his mind, but he was afraid to actually ask Bagoas *that* question. “Did you carry away more injuries besides bruises and bruised ribs?” He hoped he had phrased that diplomatically enough, unwilling to ask Bagoas if he had been raped as well as beaten.

 

“My head hurts.” He closed his dark eyes and surrendered to Hephaestion’s probing touches. He had lived a hard and cruel life and had become a good judge of character. His instincts now told him that these two men presented no threat to him; they meant well.

 

Hephaestion brushed the long hair aside and his fingers probed his charge’s scalp, encountering a large bump located at the back of Bagoas’ head. “When did this happen?”

 

“Yesterday.” He was succumbing to the slow, tender movement of Hephaestion’s fingers moving over his head. “Can I go to sleep?”

 

Hephaestion swallowed hard; Bagoas’ little, pleading tone tore at his heart. “In a moment.”

 

“How badly injured is he?” Alexander had returned with a tray, laden with a cup filled with hot tea and sandwiches. He placed it on the side table and pulled it closer toward the couch so Bagoas could easily reach it.

 

“He carried away some spectacular bruises and an egg-sized bump on his head.” Hephaestion thought quickly. If this had happened yesterday, he could rule out that Bagoas was suffering from a concussion. “He probably only needs some rest to recover.” And a safe place to stay, but he didn’t add that.

 

“Here, try to sip.” Alexander had taken hold of the tea cup and placed the rim against Bagoas’ lips, cringing when he saw they were covered with dried blood.

 

He raised shaky hands and curled his fingers around Alexander’s, slowly sipping the tea. The liquid warmed him from the inside and made him groan. He now truly felt the aches running through his body.

 

“Eat a bite and then we will let you sleep.” Hephaestion pushed a sandwich into Bagoas’ hand and watched his charge nibble on the food. /His jaw must hurt./

 

The dark eyes were closing. He wanted to stay awake but lacked the energy to do so. “Can I sleep now?”

 

“Yes, you can go to sleep. Hephaestion and I will look after you, Bagoas.” Alexander hadn’t intended to address their charge like that – the name just slipped. Dark eyes opened, locked with his, and fear appeared in them.

 

“What did you call me?”

 

“Bagoas…” Alexander gave the younger man an apologetic look. “It’s too soon, isn’t it? You aren’t ready yet to remember…”

 

“Remember?” His eyes were closing again. “I don’t want to remember… Don’t want to dream.”

 

“I don’t think you have much of a choice, Bagoas.” Alexander waited until the eyes had closed and then sat down on the couch, appalled to see the intensity of bruising on Bagoas’ body. Once he was certain that Bagoas was asleep, he leaned in closer and buried the sleeping man in a hug. “I am so glad that you decided to trust us.”

 

“Be careful, Alexander. He *is* hurt.” Hephaestion picked up the dirty clothes. Dried blood clung to them and washing them wouldn’t do much good, so he disposed of them instead. They would get their charge new clothes.

 

“What do you think happened to him?” Alexander brushed the long hair away from Bagoas’ face.

 

“It looks like someone beat him up – badly.” Hephaestion returned with a bowl filled with tepid water and a wash cloth. “We will clean him up and put him in the guestroom to sleep. That way he has some privacy when he wakes up. I remember the turmoil I was in when our memories began to surface and he might like to have a place where he can retreat and sort out his thoughts.” He handed Alexander the wash cloth, placed the bowl onto the floor, and sat down cross-legged next to it.

 

“Do you have any idea how many times he did this for me?” Alexander immersed the wash cloth in the water and put some of the antibacterial soap, which Hephaestion had placed on the floor, onto it. “He would look after me each time I got drunk or was injured. He was always there for me…” Alexander sucked in his breath, hoping Hephaestion wouldn’t take that the wrong way.

 

“Don’t worry. I appreciated him being there for you.” Hephaestion gave Alexander a smile filled with understanding. “I wish I could have been there for you instead, but duty kept us apart. I am glad he was there to look after you.”

 

Cleaning Bagoas up was a strange experience for Alexander. Their roles were reversed and, this time, it was his task to look after Bagoas. “I don’t think I will get used to calling him Bardia…” A weak smile crossed his features. “Do you know what that name means?”

 

“The prince,” Hephaestion whispered, watching Alexander finish washing Bagoas. “He possesses the soul of a prince, no matter what happened to him in the past.” Hephaestion pushed himself to his feet and fetched a long-sleeved shirt from his wardrobe. “It is too big for him, but still…” He was under the impression that Bagoas would appreciate not waking up naked.

 

Alexander and Hephaestion helped Bagoas into the shirt and then Alexander lifted the younger man in his arms. He carried their charge into the spare bedroom, and, after Hephaestion had turned down the covers, he lowered Bagoas onto the mattress. “Someone should sit with him tonight. I am afraid he will panic when he wakes up in strange surroundings.”

 

Hephaestion nodded his head once. “Why don’t you sit with him first? I will relieve you in two hours.” He wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep though. He wanted to search the premises instead, making certain no one had followed Bagoas.

 

Alexander nodded, fully focused on Bagoas instead of Hephaestion. He was determined to be there for Bagoas the way the eunuch had been there for him in the distant past.

 

~~~

 

Sleep was restless. The name which Alexander had called him continued to haunt him. Voices erupted around him, screaming his name… Bagoas… Bagoas… Bagoas… In the middle of this chaos, he found brown eyes highlighted with gold. Fair hair framed a determined face and hands reached for him, pulling him close… pulling him into safety and giving him a sense of security.

 

“Just let the memories wash over you, Bagoas. It is for the best.” Alexander sat on the bed next to his charge. He had rested his back against the head board, stretched his legs out, and pulled the younger man close. Bagoas’ face rested against his chest and he calmingly stroked the long, raven hair. “I am here for you. I won’t desert you.”

 

Dark eyes opened and he nearly panicked, finding himself in alien surroundings. His body ached tremendously, his head hurt, and his hands shook, though he dimly realized they were clasped in between more sturdy ones. His first reaction was to jump to his feet and flee the room, but he was too drained to move much. “Where am I?”

 

Alexander moistened his lips, trying to fight his nervousness. “You should be asking ‘Who am I?’.” Large, shocked eyes looked at him and Alexander regretted being so direct. “You are safe, Bagoas. You found your way to us.”

 

“Us?” And why was this man calling him Bagoas? /And why does that name sound familiar?/ Oh, those voices had called him that, shouting his name!

 

“Hephaestion and I. You do remember me, don’t you? I am Alexander.”

 

Alexander… Hephaestion… Those names meant something to him! Another memory assailed him and he clung to Alexander for support.

 

~~~

 

“What did you do? You are a slave, Bagoas! Nothing but a slave and when I send you to a customer to please him, you *will* please him! He had every right to punish you for refusing him!”

 

He stared at the elderly man in pained shock. He trembled over his entire body and his back carried welts which had been delivered by a whip wielded by his owner. He fought back his tears, refusing to cry in front of his owner. That ‘customer’ had hurt him, had shattered his world and had taken his innocence, and now he was being punished for trying to protect himself. But his owner was right of course. He was a slave and had to follow his owner’s orders. It didn’t matter to his owner if he was hurt in the process. “I am sorry, master,” he whispered in a tiny voice, cringing under the aggressive gaze his owner gave him.

 

“I assume you learned your lesson, Bagoas. Don’t ever defy a customer again. If one of them tells you to bend over, you do it. If they want you on your back, you will obey. Do I make myself clear?”

 

“Yes, master, you do.” Bagoas’ lowered eyes were fastened on the tiled floor.

 

“And now you will go back to your last customer and apologize for biting him. You will accept any punishment he wishes to impose on you.”

 

Keeping his head lowered to show his respect, Bagoas surrendered to his cruel fate. He was just a helpless boy in a world of harsh men.

~~~

 

“What did you remember?” Alexander had felt Bagoas tense against him and was tempted to tighten his hold on the younger man, but didn’t do so as he didn’t want to put additional pressure on the bruises. “You can tell me.” Hopefully Bagoas would decide to trust him, like the younger man had done in the past.

 

“I was sold… And my owner… He told me to do whatever his customers wanted me to do.” He lifted hurting eyes and pleadingly looked at Alexander, feeling like a child again. “That man hurt me.”

 

Alexander’s throat tightened with emotions. “None of those men had the right to hurt you. I am so sorry I wasn’t there to stop them from abusing you.”

 

“He said it was my duty to pleasure them… That I was only a slave and he cared not for my well-being… I was there to serve them.” He shivered and pressed closer against Alexander, not questioning his instincts that urged him to put his trust in the other man. Resting against him, soaking up his body heat, and even trusting him came natural to him. “I don’t want to have these dreams… Can’t you make them go away?”

 

Alexander was struck by the child-like tone in Bagoas’ voice. “I wish I could, but I can’t. They are a part of you.”

 

“I don’t want to hurt.” He closed his eyes and fought back his tears. Being in that room again and being reprimanded had felt so real!

 

“I promise that you won’t hurt for long, Bagoas. Once your memories are complete you can begin to heal. Hephaestion and I will support you every step of the way.”

 

“Why do you continue to call me that? I am not called Bagoas.”

 

“But you are… You will realize shortly that it is your real name.” Alexander’s eyes swam with tears, feeling for the younger man who had suffered such a cruel fate in both his lives.

 

“I want these dreams to stop!” The dreams were back, showing him exactly what that customer had demanded and he cried against Alexander’s chest, once more experiencing that horrible pain in his lower body. It felt terribly familiar; he had suffered that pain in his current life as well. “Please make it stop.”

 

Alexander’s tears now dripped from his chin and onto the raven hair. In the past, he had ruled Asia and even back then he hadn’t been able to chain the ghosts that haunted Bagoas. In this life, he was only a man, so how was he to accomplish the impossible now? “I am here for you, Bagoas. I won’t let you drift away from me. Hold on to me. Take your strength from me. Accept my guidance.” Bagoas shivered violently, reliving horrible memories and Alexander cried with him – cried for innocence lost and a fate so terrible that its scars would always haunt Bagoas.

 

~~~

 

“How does he fare?” Hephaestion had used his time well. He had walked the perimeter and convinced himself that no strangers lurked near. Bagoas hadn’t been followed and their charge was safe for now. He sat down on the chair next to the bed and rested the palm of his hand on Bagoas’ hair. Alexander immediately moved his hand toward him and Hephaestion placed his hand atop of his lover’s.

 

“The memories hurt him and I understand why that is happening. We didn’t suffer much in the past, Hephaestion, but Bagoas was taken away from his family who had been murdered, was castrated, and sold off into slavery. We mostly have fond memories of the past and of each other, but it’s different for him.”

 

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath. “I didn’t consider that. Thankfully he has your support.”

 

Alexander smiled at his lover. “I was hoping that he would have your support too.”

 

“If he wants it… he has it.”

 

Part 4

 

Bagoas screamed in anguish as he saw his mother jump from the wall and hit the ground near him. Her head made contact first and the bones shattered under the impact, coloring the earth red with her blood. To his right, they dragged his father out into the open, his father’s nose and ears cut from the face, leaving nothing more than blood and holes in their place. A swift cut from Orxines’ sword separated his father’s head from the rest of his body and their tormentor raised his arms in victory, showing the head to his men.

 

Bagoas tried to run, but there was no escape. His sisters also fell victim to Orxines’ men and he was forced to bear witness to their rape. His hands were bound; there was nothing he could do. Seeing his family devastated in such a brutal way made him scream and his anguish enabled him to break away from the horrid dream.

 

“Hush, Bagoas… All is well. You had a nightmare, nothing more.” Alexander told his charge a white lie, hoping to lessen the younger man’s pain. He had remained at Bagoas’ side, watching over his former friend and lover. “You aren’t alone, Bagoas. I am here for you.” Dark eyes opened, revealing horror and pain before locking with his. Instinctively, Alexander stroked the long raven hair and gave Bagoas an encouraging look. “You are not alone.”

 

“My name is Bagoas? I am Bagoas?” He struggled to accept this truth. His family had also called him Bagoas in his dream.

 

“Your real name is Bagoas, my friend.” Alexander rubbed the younger man’s brow, trying to calm down him further. “And you are very dear to me.”

 

“Who are you?” The dark eyes narrowed. “Do I know you?”

 

“I hope you do,” mumbled Alexander in a loving voice. “I am Alexander.”

 

Bagoas’ eyes widened, as hearing that name evoked another memory.

 

~~~

 

“Did you come to me out of your own free will?”

 

The question startled Bagoas, who panicked as he realized that his surroundings had changed again. He was in a room he had never seen before, but the man standing in front of him was no stranger. This was the same man, although his clothing and hair style varied, who was also holding him in bed. He recalled the man’s name – Alexander.

 

“Bagoas, did you come to me out of your own free will? No one forced you to offer me your services?”

 

Alexander’s voice made Bagoas’ shiver and he heard himself answer, although he had no idea what he was going to say. “Yes, my King. I choose to serve you. No one forces me to serve you.” Serve him? Why was he saying such a thing?

 

“I accept,” Alexander replied, giving Nabarzanes a probing look. He knew Bagoas was the other man’s peace offering, a bribe so to speak, to ensure he left Nabarzanes alone.

 

Bagoas watched, feeling detached, as Nabarzanes left the room, leaving him alone with Alexander, the new Great King.

 

~~~

 

Alexander’s worries increased as he felt Bagoas shake himself to pieces in his arms. “What did you remember?” He thought it important to encourage Bagoas to share his memories, considering their painful nature. He had never fully considered just how painful they would be to the younger man.

 

“You are the King,” Bagoas mumbled, quickly lowering his eyes. Old teachings, ingrained in him by Oromedon, the eunuch who had taught him everything he’d needed to know in order to serve Darius, surfaced. Bagoas released a keening wail as his mind was flooded with more memories, although less painful in nature.

 

~~~

 

Oromedon showed him how to properly wait on Darius: how to wash the Great King, to lower his eyes when Darius left the bath, and how to please his ruler. Bagoas had always been a good student and had made these lessons a part of him. His knowledge and demeanor had served him well in the past, as he had first served Darius, and later Alexander. But at the base of his ‘education’ were pain, loneliness, and fear. He would never forget how he had come into slavery – as a boy who had been destined to serve the Great King in a different way. His father had wanted him to sire sons and to have his own family, but Orxines’ scheming had thrown Bagoas into disgrace. He had become a slave and a eunuch instead.

 

~~~

 

“Please talk to me, Bagoas. I can only help you when I know what you are struggling with.” Alexander tightened his hold and Bagoas pressed against him in return. “Tell me, Bagoas.”

 

“I remembered my father’s death… They eliminated my entire family. Only I survived.”

 

Alexander gently rocked Bagoas in his arms. “Go on.”

 

“Orxines sold me and I was castrated… I threw myself at Orxines’ feet, pleading with him to reconsider… He didn’t listen.” Bagoas continued to shake like a leaf now, as the past remained very close. “They cut me and… I bled… The pain was terrible. I have never felt anything like it again.” He curled his fingers around Alexander’s arm and surrendered to the despair that coursed through him. “I agreed to serve you… Nabarzanes had asked me to do so and I didn’t refuse him… I had no place to go…”

 

Alexander closed his eyes, willing his anger to go away. He couldn’t let rage cloud his thoughts now that he needed to support Bagoas in his hour of need. “I liked you from the start, Bagoas, and it wasn’t just because you were beautiful. You possessed elegance, intelligence, and you always took such good care of me. Did I ever thank you for that?”

 

“A King does not thank a slave for performing his duties.”

 

Alexander cringed, hearing the resigned tone in Bagoas’ voice. “Try to rest, Bagoas. Reliving your memories must exhaust you. I promise you won’t wake up alone.”

 

Bagoas’ eyes closed. Alexander was right; he felt exhausted and he stopped fighting his fatigue. He didn’t want to experience more of those dreams, those memories, but he didn’t have a choice – they were determined to surface and become a part of him.

 

~~~

 

“Has he been asleep the entire time? Or did he wake up?” Hephaestion sat down on the side of the bed and felt grateful when Bagoas didn’t stir due to his arrival.

 

“He relived some of his memories and they weren’t pretty. His family was murdered in front of him and he remembered the ordeal.” Alexander drew in a deep breath. “I am glad you are here, though. I need to stretch my legs, shower, eat, and visit the bathroom. Will you take my place and stay with him?”

 

Hephaestion nodded his head once. He waited for Alexander to loosen Bagoas’ hold on him and to get to his feet before he slipped into the bed and moved the younger man into his arms. Bagoas’ arms instantly wrapped around him in turn and Hephaestion pulled him close. “It looks like he doesn’t care who is holding him, just as long as someone is holding him.” Hephaestion smiled, ruefully, and locked gazes with Alexander. “Take your time. I will watch over him.”

 

Alexander also heard the words Hephaestion didn’t speak. Hephaestion wanted a chance to build a relationship with Bagoas and being there for their charge when Bagoas woke from a nightmare would be a good way to gain the younger man’s fragile trust. “I will remain close, Hephaestion, but I won’t interfere without your permission. I understand what you are trying to do and I hope you will succeed.” He leaned in closer and pressed a kiss onto Hephaestion’s brow. He hoped his beloved would succeed in gaining Bagoas’ trust – maybe then the younger man would be able to do away with that suffocating jealousy that had consumed him in the past.

 

~~~

 

The aching that coursed through his abused body made Bagoas groan pitifully as he slowly awoke. The bruised ribs made it hard for him to breathe and his breathing hitched before he found himself safely embraced within strong arms. His dark eyes opened and looked at the face of the man who was holding him – and that man wasn’t Alexander. He knew that face, though, and fear washed over him. “Hephaestion.”

 

Hephaestion gave Bagoas a reassuring smile. “Do you remember me from our first life or because I introduced myself to you in the forest?”

 

Emotions blocked Bagoas’ throat, making him swallow convulsively. “No, I remember you.” And what was worse, he remembered the insane jealousy he had felt toward Hephaestion. /I am not ready yet to confront this./ But looking into Hephaestion’s eyes, he realized that the other man was going to address this issue right now.

 

“That is what I thought.” Hephaestion felt at a loss and was uncertain on what to say next. In Bagoas’ eyes he read fear and doubt, and he decided to try to soothe the younger man. “I am grateful that you took care of Alexander when I could not.”

 

Those words evoked another wave of memories and Bagoas’ fingers clawed at Hephaestion’s shoulders, trying to find a beacon which would guide him on this stormy sea of memories.

 

~~~

 

The sun burned his skin and blinded him, making it impossible for Bagoas to continue. He collapsed onto the sand and fell prey to the unyielding sun that tormented him. He had never thought that he would die while crossing this desert. He had tried staying close to Alexander, but the King was walking up front, guiding his men and he had long lost sight of Alexander.

 

/So this is how it ends./ But he didn’t want it to end. He didn’t want to die in this desert, far away from Alexander. This was not the way he was supposed to die!

 

“Drink!”

 

The commanding voice reached Bagoas and he tried to open his eyes to see what ghost had come to haunt him. But then he tasted water on his lips and he opened them, eager to swallow the sweet liquid that now flowed down his throat. Fervently, he tried to drink more, but the water was then taken away and he moaned in protest.

 

“You need to sip slowly. You haven’t drunk for quite some time.”

 

Bagoas managed to half-open his eyes and his heart missed a beat as he saw Hephaestion hover above him. The sun was already descending, but her deadly power still remained.

 

“Bagoas? Listen to me! Stay awake!”

 

More droplets of water found their way past his lips and he swallowed, greedily. Bagoas wanted to raise his hands so he could take hold of the water skin, but Hephaestion swept them away.

 

“I know you are thirsty, but I cannot allow you to drink too much.”

 

In the back of his head, Bagoas knew Hephaestion was right and was doing the sensible thing by letting him only sip, but he craved more water – much more! But then shame suddenly set in. “This is your water?” Was he drinking Hephaestion’s daily ration?

 

“Don’t worry. I have brought ample water with me.” Hephaestion carefully pulled Bagoas into a sitting position and encouraged the younger man to lean against him. “I will take you back to the camp.” Alexander had finally reached the shore, leaving the desert behind him and the caravan was safe now. The men were resting and Alexander had fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep.

 

“You came for me… Why?” Bagoas raised a shaky hand and tried to touch Hephaestion’s face, but he lacked the strength to do so and the hand fell back onto the still hot sand.

 

Hephaestion shook his head, indicating he didn’t want to talk right now.

 

Bagoas sucked in his breath as he felt Hephaestion’s hands slip below his shoulders and slowly lift him. Hephaestion put him back onto his feet, let him lean against him and then picked him up again so he could put the younger man onto his horse. “Reaching the camp will take us one hour at the least.” Hephaestion didn’t mount; his horse had carried him all day and had grown exhausted. He wanted to burden the animal as little as possible. Walking beside his horse, he maintained a tight hold on the reins and guided the horse back to the camp.

 

“Why, Hephaestion?” Bagoas still felt drained. His body ached, his throat resembled sand paper in spite of the water he had drunk, and he kept his head bowed, trying to avoid looking at the blinding sun.

 

Hephaestion briefly raised his eyes to lock gazes with Bagoas. “Alexander needs you. I cannot always be there for him. I need you to take care of him in my stead.”

 

Bagoas’ heart contracted painfully. “I love him, Hephaestion.”

 

“So do I.”

 

~~~

 

In the present, Bagoas blinked as the memories grew less intense. Looking into Hephaestion’s azure eyes, he wondered about the other man. “You saved my life. I was about to die and you came back for me.”

 

Hephaestion nodded his head once. He hadn’t counted on that memory surfacing just yet, but he might use the moment to his advantage. “I did. I couldn’t let you die.”

 

“Why not?” Maintaining eye contact with Hephaestion was hard on Bagoas, but he managed not to avert his eyes. “Why did you come for me?”

 

“I needed you to look after Alexander. He needed someone to take care of him.” That was one of the first lessons Hephaestion had learned.

 

Bagoas blinked again, finally realizing that wasn’t the entire truth. “Why else did you come back for me?”

 

Hephaestion’s expression softened. “Because I care about you.”

 

“But…” His past was very close right now, closer than he wanted it to be, and Bagoas remembered his shortcomings, the mistakes he had made, and his unbecoming jealousy.

 

~~~

 

Alexander’s room had become a shrine in memory of Hephaestion. Even in death, Hephaestion was all-present and dominated Alexander’s life. Bagoas stared at the multitude of statues that surrounded him. /Why can’t you leave him alone?/

 

“Bagoas?” Alexander, studying the last arrangements for Hephaestion’s funeral games, raised a hand and called Bagoas over to join him.

 

Like a loyal dog, Bagoas sat down on the floor and eased his upper body against Alexander’s legs, resting his head on his King’s knee. Alexander took to petting his hair and Bagoas closed his eyes in this moment of bliss.

 

“I miss Hephaestion.”

 

Those three words cut through his heart like a sharp, double-edged sword and Bagoas’ eyes opened with a start. Why couldn’t Alexander forget Hephaestion?

 

“You never understood Hephaestion, did you?”

 

Alexander’s fingers slipped beneath his chin and Bagoas lifted his head from Alexander’s knee to look into the hooded brown eyes.

 

“No one understands the love I bear Hephaestion. He is the other half of my soul, Bagoas, and I need him close.”

 

Bagoas grew scared as he heard Alexander talk about Hephaestion in the present tense, but he didn’t have the heart to remind his King that Hephaestion had died. He sucked in his breath when Alexander suddenly slid onto his knees next to him. Alexander’s hands settled on his shoulders and the speckled brown-golden eyes bore into his with a frightening intensity.

 

“Hephaestion’s soul is connected to mine, Bagoas. I know you love me, but I love Hephaestion with my entire heart and I yearn to be reunited with him – even in death. I don’t want to leave you behind, though,” Alexander said, running his fingers through Bagoas’ raven hair, “But I cannot be without him. I am dying, Bagoas.”

 

“You cannot die, Al’skander. You must remain alive. You must stay with me.” Bagoas wrapped his arms around his King, trembling fiercely. Death stared back at him from Alexander’s eyes and he knew it was only a matter of time before Alexander would join the dead. “I hate him! I hate him for destroying you!” He had never wanted to speak the words, but his emotions had overwhelmed him. “Why can’t he leave you alone?” Bagoas shivered. He should never have spoken those words! Why had he said them in the first place? He cringed, bowed his head, and cowered in front of Alexander, ready to undergo his King’s wrath, which he deserved. He should never have said that!

 

“Bagoas, look at me.”

Alexander’s warm and concerned tone actually startled Bagoas, who quickly met Alexander’s gaze. The warmth, the love, and respect he saw there confused him.

 

“As long as I can remember Hephaestion has grounded me. We became inseparable during our childhood and he is everything to me. I had a troubled childhood, Bagoas. My mother and my father fought almost constantly and I was always caught in the middle. I would have lost my mind if it hadn’t been for Hephaestion. Hephaestion is a caring soul, Bagoas. He has the warmest and greatest heart I have ever known. He always places me up front and pushes back his own needs. I know that I haven’t been the best lover he could have wished for. I gave in to temptation in the past, and you, Bagoas, are one of those temptations.”

 

“But…”

 

“Listen,” Alexander ordered in a forceful voice. “Hephaestion accepted your place in my life. He never begrudged me your comforting presence. He even likes you.”

 

Bagoas shivered. Why did Alexander always slip back into using the present tense when talking about Hephaestion? The other man was dead!

 

“Do you hear me, Bagoas? Do you really hear what I am saying?” Alexander placed his hands on either side of Bagoas’ head and searched the dark eyes. “Hephaestion knows that I hold you dear and he accepts that. He never tried to convince me to send you away. He welcomed your presence in my life instead. You know I am lonely without Hephaestion and you make my loneliness easier to bear.”

 

Bagoas swallowed, hard, finally hearing what Alexander was saying – really hearing those words! Shame and guilt clawed at his heart. “He did?”

 

“It would have been easy for him to demand you gone from my life, but he never asked me to send you away. He even encouraged me to love you back, knowing he couldn’t be there for me the way he wanted to and so he wanted you to love me instead… He gave me permission to love you back. Had he demanded you gone, I would have sent you away. *That* is how much I love him.”

 

Bagoas’ eyes filled with tears. He had always known the bitter truth, but had never admitted it to himself. The bitter truth was that Alexander loved him because Hephaestion had encouraged him. Alexander would have deserted him had Hephaestion demanded that. The fact that Hephaestion had approved of their relationship stunned him.

 

“That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Bagoas. I do, in my very own way. But my love for Hephaestion is unique.” Alexander regretted putting such sadness in Bagoas’ dark eyes. “You probably wonder why I am telling you this.”

 

Bagoas nodded once. He had wondered about that.

 

“I feel my end approaching, Bagoas.” Alexander quickly placed a finger across Bagoas’ lips, seeing the younger man was about to protest. “I promised Hephaestion to follow him to the House of Death and I will. Life has lost all meaning now that he is gone. I know you are taking care of me the best way you can and I love you for it, Bagoas, but you are not Hephaestion.”

 

Tears gathered in Bagoas’ eyes and they dripped from his chin as he stared blindly at Alexander. Emotionally he was in turmoil and he felt crushed, realizing his love would never replace Hephaestion’s. But then again, Alexander had just said that the King loved him – in his very own way.

 

“I will follow Hephaestion shortly, Bagoas. I don’t want to live anymore. I have seen too much, done too much, and I want peace. I want to walk side by side Hephaestion again and to hold his hand. I want to kiss his hair and press him close. My only regret is leaving you behind. I worry about you, Bagoas. What will happen to you after I am gone?”

 

“Please, Al’skander, don’t talk like that! You can’t die! You can’t! I won’t let you!” Life without Alexander would be a life lived in darkness. Alexander was his sun, the love of his life, and his heart wouldn’t survive losing his King!

 

Alexander gave Bagoas a rueful smile. “One half of my soul is already dead, Bagoas. Do you really want me to continue this half-life?” Alexander cocked his head and his fingertips followed the trail of tears on Bagoas’ face. “I hear his voice inside my head, Bagoas. I see him standing in that corner of the room – right now, Bagoas – and he is beckoning me to join him. His image is everywhere and I need to join with him. But I can see that you don’t understand. My sweet, loving, seductive, handsome, and utterly devoted Bagoas… I love you… I really do… But Hephaestion…I can’t live without him. Please forgive me for abandoning you. I just wish you would understand how dear I hold you – how much you mean to me… But my soul is already searching for a way to find the House of Death.”

 

Realizing he had nothing left to lose, Bagoas decided to be brutally honest. “I wish you had never met Hephaestion! Why can’t you love me like you loved him?”

 

Alexander drew in a deep breath. “I sensed your jealousy toward Hephaestion. You always were possessive of me. Hephaestion never wanted to possess me like that. He allowed me to be myself. But that was easy for him, as he knew we belonged together. Bagoas, you never had a reason to be jealous of him. He looked upon you with affection and concern. Why can’t you accept that he loved you in his very own way?”

 

Stunned, Bagoas stared at Alexander. “Loved me?”

 

“Hephaestion likes you, Bagoas. Only one wish remained unfulfilled in my life – I always wanted the two of you to be friends, close friends.”

 

Bagoas felt utterly confused. He was slowly beginning to realize – and finally admit to himself – that Alexander loved Hephaestion best. Hating Hephaestion had been easy, as he had been convinced that the other man hated him in turn, but Alexander’s words showed a different side to Hephaestion’s personality.

 

“I love you as well, Bagoas.” Alexander cupped Bagoas’ face in the palm of his hand and looked deeply into the dark eyes. “But Hephaestion and I… We are one soul.”

 

And suddenly Bagoas cried out. He cried out in emotional pain, no longer able to deny the truth: Alexander loved Hephaestion best and Hephaestion had never hated him in turn. His jealousy had served no purpose at all. He had been jealous of their love – their perfect love – and had never admitted to himself that he should be very happy to be a part of their love – their life. Hephaestion could have easily dismissed him, could have sent him away and have taken Alexander away from him completely, but Hephaestion had done none of those things. He had welcomed him into Alexander’s life instead. Bagoas wept, flinging himself into Alexander’s arms as he rode out the emotional storm. He had been wrong for years.

 

~~~

 

Bagoas’ throat felt terribly dry and he stared at Hephaestion in bewilderment. Shame and guilt wrapped around him like a heavy cloak and he flinched, appalled at his past behavior.

 

Hephaestion had witnessed Bagoas’ visions and soothingly rubbed his charge’s neck. “I didn’t know Alexander said those things to you. His words must have hurt you.”

 

Bagoas blinked, surprised to hear worry in Hephaestion’s warm voice. “I always wanted more. I wanted Alexander to myself. I didn’t want to share him with you.”

 

Hephaestion remained quiet, sensing that Bagoas hadn’t finished yet.

 

“Instead of focusing on my self-pity and my loathing for you, I should have realized how lucky I was to be a part of your life. The two of you took me in and allowed me to stay close. What Alexander said is true. You never tried to force me out of Alexander’s life. You accepted this. But I didn’t. I always wanted more. I wanted you dead.”

 

Hephaestion drew in a deep, calming breath. “I know you did.”

 

“And you didn’t expose me?”

 

“Bagoas, I understand you better than you think. I understand your pain, your need, and your jealousy. I only want…”

 

“What?” Bagoas angrily wiped away his tears.

 

“I want things to be different in this life time. I want things to be better – especially for you.” Hephaestion’s fingers caressed Bagoas’ face, but the younger man didn’t seem to register the touch judging by the distant expression in the dark eyes.

 

“How can you still care for me? How can you worry about me now that you know how much I despised you? I just admitted to wanting to murder you!” He wanted Hephaestion to grow angry with him, to lecture and punish him! Bagoas didn’t know how to handle this mellow and forgiving Hephaestion!

 

Hephaestion studied Bagoas’ eyes for a long time. He couldn’t force Bagoas to accept the ultimate truth – he needed to give the younger man time. “I simply do, Bagoas. I still care for you.” Bagoas looked at him like he had grown a second head and Hephaestion pulled Bagoas’ shivering body closer to his. “You feel confused right now and that is understandable. Give yourself time to accept what is happening.”

 

Only now did Bagoas grow aware of the fact that Hephaestion was holding him close – so very close – and that the older man was rubbing his back. Love, affection, and tenderness showed in the way Hephaestion held him and Bagoas closed his eyes, unable to deal with Hephaestion’s forgiveness and acceptance. He didn’t deserve it. He deserved Hephaestion’s wrath instead!

 

“Don’t punish yourself for the way you survived in the past,” Hephaestion offered, still rubbing Bagoas’ back in large, soothing circles. I don’t know if you will accept guidance from me, Bagoas, but try to let go of the pain, the jealousy, and the anger. Make your peace with those feelings – with your past.”

 

Bagoas closed his swimming eyes and rested his head against Hephaestion’s shoulder. He didn’t want to turn to the other man for comfort, but Hephaestion was the only one who was close – who could hold and comfort him – and so he reached out, burying his jealousy and feelings of hatred and accepting what Hephaestion was offering. He finally made peace with his feelings, letting go of his insane jealousy.

 

~~~

 

Alexander soundlessly entered the bedroom and sat down on the chair next to the bed. “Why has he been crying?” He spoke softly so he wouldn’t wake Bagoas.

 

“He relived a conversation you had shortly before you died.” Hephaestion’s gaze traveled from Bagoas to Alexander. “You told him you would die shortly and regretted leaving him behind.”

 

“I remember that conversation.” Alexander’s features briefly contorted with remembered pain. “I tried to explain to him why I couldn’t stay.”

 

“Alexander, what happened? You were healthy when I died.”

 

Alexander moistened his lips. “I drank poison.”

 

Hephaestion’s eyes widened in shock. “You did what?”

 

“The truth is that my army didn’t want to engage in another war. They had become battle-weary. I know that even if I marched I would lose the war. They had lost the will to fight and so did I. So, I turned to poison and I drank it, mixed with wine.”

 

Hephaestion struggled to draw in his next breath. “I can’t believe you said that.” He could believe even less that Alexander had actually done such a thing!

 

“It was a matter of time before my men would turn to poisoning me. I only made things easier for them.” Alexander stared at his hands, which lay idly in his lap. “I didn’t want to go on without you, Hephaestion. I wanted to keep my promise. I needed to be with you – even in death.” Alexander raised his eyes and met Hephaestion’s gaze. “I only regretted leaving Bagoas behind. I wasn’t certain he would survive without me.”

 

“We don’t know what happened to Bagoas after you died, do we?” Hephaestion frowned. None of the books he had read had mentioned what had happened to Bagoas after Alexander’s death.

 

“I didn’t find any information on that either.” By now, he had read most of the books he had bought.

 

“We will ask him once he has grown strong again.” Hephaestion carefully considered their next step. “Alexander, we need to focus on the present for a while. We need to know who beat him up and why.”

 

Alexander nodded his head once. “You are right of course.” He wished he still had his gun with him, but he had turned it in the day he had been discharged from the police. They still had the swords though. “What do you suggest?”

 

“It is almost dinner time,” Hephaestion mused aloud. “Would you prepare dinner and build a fire in the fire place? I will wake him and take him into the living room. We will eat and then we will talk. We need to know what to expect.”

 

Alexander nodded once more. “I will fix dinner. Do you want me to stay while you wake him?”

 

“No, give me this moment with him. We talked before he fell asleep and I believe he realized how futile and unjustified his hatred for me was. I would like to use the moment to reach out to him.”

 

Alexander rose from the chair and walked toward the doorway. Looking from over his shoulder at the two men in the bed he smiled, hoping Bagoas would accept what Hephaestion was offering for it would enrich their lives.

 

~~~

 

“Bagoas? Wake up for me? Alexander prepared dinner…” Hephaestion whispered the words into Bagoas’ ear, cautiously waking him, as he didn’t want to startle the young man. The dark eyes opened and slowly focused on him. Hephaestion recognized the fuzzy expression in the dark-brown eyes and remained silent, giving Bagoas a bit to react to his presence.

 

“Why are you still here?” Bagoas had expected Hephaestion to turn away from him after the conversation they’d had.

 

“I am here because I want to show you that I care about you.” Hephaestion brushed a lock of raven hair behind Bagoas’ ear. “I never thought badly of you, Bagoas. You might not like me, but I don’t feel the same way about you. I like you, Bagoas.”

 

Bagoas blinked in surprise. He wanted to believe that, but couldn’t. Not after what he had recently admitted to the older man.

 

Hephaestion acknowledged Bagoas’ reluctance and nervousness and respected the younger man’s feelings. “Alexander fixed dinner and you should eat something.” He would also use the opportunity to question Bagoas about his attackers. Hephaestion wished he could do something to ease Bagoas’ unease and to reassure the younger man further, but he had the feeling that his questions were going to open a can of worms, so he decided to postpone his questioning until after dinner. “Are you ready to get up?”

 

“I don’t want to get to my feet,” Bagoas announced in a small voice. He wanted to pull the blanket up over his head and hide. He felt very ashamed of the hatred he had felt toward Hephaestion in the past.

 

“You will have to.” Alexander stood in the doorway and had overheard their conversation. “I made soup and I want you to eat, Bagoas.”

 

“Al’skander.” For one moment, Bagoas slipped back into the past, but he shook his head, trying to clear it of the memories and then he focused on Alexander again. He still loved him – still wanted him – but this time he realized the truth. Alexander wasn’t meant for him. Looking at Alexander closely, he saw fire in the golden eyes. It was the fire of love, and that love was for Hephaestion, not for him. This time, he wouldn’t make the mistake he had made two millennia ago. This time, he wouldn’t try to possess Alexander. He would do the opposite: he would smother his attraction toward Alexander and keep his distance. He refused to come between them again.

 

“What is going on in that head of yours?” Alexander had reached the bed and pushed down the blanket.

 

Bagoas sucked in his breath in surprise, but then he felt relieved, realizing he wasn’t naked beneath the blanket. He wore an oversized shirt, which probably belonged to Hephaestion.

 

“Bagoas?” Alexander grew worried, seeing the blank stare in the dark eyes. “Look at me.”

 

Bagoas obeyed out of habit and looked Alexander in the eye. He quickly lowered his gaze, unable to bear Alexander’s scrutiny.

 

“I will carry him.” Alexander slipped his arms beneath Bagoas’ back and knees and gently lifted the young man from the bed. “I hope you are hungry.” Seeing the hand-sized bruises on Bagoas’ body enraged, and, at the same time, saddened him. Hephaestion was correct; they needed to find out who had done this to Bagoas.

 

Bagoas had no choice but to allow Alexander to carry him to the couch in the living room. In front of him on the coffee table stood three bowls filled with steaming hot soup. Next to the bowls were large chunks of bread and glasses of wine. Bagoas clung to Alexander and refused to let go of the other man’s shirt when Alexander lowered him onto the couch.

 

Alexander’s eyes filled with affection and worry. “I am not leaving you.” He sat down beside Bagoas and reached for the bowl. “Here, take this.”

 

Bagoas didn’t want to let go of the fabric of Alexander’s shirt, but it had been ages since he had eaten anything substantial and he spooned some of the soup into his mouth. Next, he tore off some bread and dipped it in the soup. Warmth filled him from the inside and he devoured the food within minutes.

 

“Hephaestion, would you get some more?” Alexander had managed to pry Bagoas’ fingers loose and now handed the empty cup to his lover.

 

Hephaestion disappeared into the kitchen and returned with more soup and bread. He sat down on Bagoas’ other side, and together, Alexander and he watched Bagoas wolf down the rest of the soup as well. They reached for their food and continued to watch Bagoas.

 

The moment Bagoas had finished his second bowl of soup he placed the bowl onto the table. He bowed his head and stared at the floor. 

 

“Did you have enough?” Hephaestion placed his bowl aside and cocked his head. When Bagoas didn’t react, he tipped the dark head upward, placing a finger beneath the younger man’s chin. Tears stared back at him from the brown depths. “What is amiss?”

 

“I don’t know if I can handle this…” Bagoas wrapped his arms around his waist, yelping softly when he unintentionally put pressure on his ribs. “The memories hurt and… I need to deal with the present as well.”

 

Hephaestion and Alexander exchanged a look. “We will talk about your present problems in a moment,” Alexander said, taking hold of Bagoas’ shoulders and gently pulling the younger man’s head onto his lap. Bagoas stretched out on the couch and then moved to pull his knees toward his chest, but Hephaestion reacted faster and pulled his feet onto his knees. The other man’s large hands rubbed his cold, bare feet and Bagoas quivered with delight. It didn’t take Hephaestion long to start massaging the cold appendages and the relaxing sensation made Bagoas sigh.

 

“Bagoas? We have some questions. Will you answer them?” Alexander had waited to ask that question until he felt Bagoas relax against him.

 

“What questions?” Bagoas felt strangely at peace, curled up to the two men on the couch. He opened his eyes and looked up at Alexander’s face. Alexander’s hand rubbed his back and the other moved through his hair. He pressed even closer to Alexander’s body, folding one arm around the other man. He buried his nose in Alexander’s shirt, deeply inhaling the familiar scent.

 

Hephaestion continued to massage Bagoas’ feet, which were finally warming beneath his touch. Now that Bagoas lay sprawled across their laps, Hephaestion and Alexander looked longingly at the younger man’s form. Hephaestion nodded his head once, telling Alexander to voice their questions.

 

“Who did this to you, Bagoas? Who beat you up and why? How did you get into trouble? We must know in order to protect you.”

 

Bagoas had been half asleep, lured into relaxation by their comforting touches before Alexander’s questions took him off-guard. Feeling quite entranced, his subconscious made the decision to trust them and to tell them his life’s history.

 

Part 5

 

“Drink something first.” Alexander worried about the raw tone Bagoas’ voice possessed. He hoped they weren’t pushing Bagoas too hard. He would have preferred to give the younger man some time to recover before he had to tell his tale, but if someone was hunting Bagoas, Hephaestion and he had to know so they could take precautionary measures.

 

After sitting up, Bagoas curled his fingers around the glass filled with wine and sipped. He coughed the moment the liquid hit the back of his throat, but then swallowed. “I don’t like wine.” He had never indulged much, having seen what happened to men who drank too much.

 

Hephaestion got up from the couch and Alexander and Bagoas could hear him rummage around in the kitchen. A few minutes later, Hephaestion joined them again, this time carrying a mug with hot chocolate. “Maybe this is more to your liking?”

 

Bagoas felt embarrassed, seeing that his fingers trembled when he wanted to wrap them around the mug. Hephaestion resorted to keeping his fingers around the mug as well and helped him sip. Bagoas hated feeling this weak, this helpless!

 

“Why don’t you start at the beginning?” Alexander waited for Bagoas to sip more hot chocolate and then signaled to Hephaestion to put the mug onto the coffee table. He pulled Bagoas against him and the younger man rested his upper body against him. Hephaestion gently lifted Bagoas’ feet from the floor and pulled them back onto his lap.

 

Curled up between them, Bagoas felt safe enough to tell his tale and his hands reached for Alexander’s, allowing the blond man to rub his fingers. Where should he start? How long did they expect him to go back in time? “I never knew my parents. They died in a car accident fifteen years ago. Apparently I also had two sisters, but they died in that crash as well. At the age of two, I became an orphan and they put me in an orphanage in Athens.”

 

Alexander wrapped an arm around Bagoas and rested his chin on the raven head. Hephaestion resumed massaging Bagoas’ cold feet and they waited patiently for their charge to continue, thinking it important Bagoas should tell them at his own pace.

 

“Everything went well during those first few years in that orphanage. The workers there were nice to me and treated me well. Then the orphanage was re-organized and most of the workers were replaced. That was when it started.” Bagoas trembled and pressed close against Alexander, finding comfort in the other man’s presence. He had missed Alexander so much!

 

“The board appointed a new director and this man brought his own staff to the orphanage. I was eight when this happened and…” Bagoas swallowed hard. He didn’t want to go through this again!

 

“What happened?” Alexander asked softly.

 

“The director had ties to the underworld and had only applied to lead the home so he had easy access to the children. Some of the children began to disappear. The director told us that they had run away, but we knew the truth.” Bagoas clutched Alexander’s hand and closed his eyes in shame. “Some of the new workers were at the home for a different reason other than to take care of us. It was their job to select those children who would fetch the most money on the prostitution market. They took those children to the sleazier parts of Athens and forced them into prostitution. A lot of my friends disappeared that way and eventually, it was my turn.”

 

Alexander’s eyes burned with an unholy fire. How he wanted to make those men pay for hurting the children and Bagoas in particular!

 

“They fed me drugs during dinner and took me away from the orphanage at some point in the night. I lived through it all in a haze. The drugs were powerful and rendered me helpless.” Bagoas squeezed his eyes tightly shut. “That night they sold my virginity to a man who preferred young boys and…”

 

“He raped you.” Alexander’s voice was liquid steel. He tried hard to suppress the urge to seek out the men who had hurt Bagoas. He wanted to make them suffer in turn.

 

“Several times.” Bagoas felt ashamed and dirty and wanted to flee Alexander’s embrace, but he hadn’t felt this safe in years and couldn’t bring himself to move. Instead, he continued his tale. “The next day the drugs had worn off and I fully realized what had happened to me. I was alone, hurt, and desperate. I should have fought them, but being raped had messed me up. I didn’t think of opposing them and the next night, there was another customer. It continued like that for years.”

 

Hephaestion forced himself to continue the massage, rubbing the cold feet which refused to warm beneath his touch. “How did you get away?”

 

Bagoas’ eyes opened upon hearing Hephaestion’s voice. He had forgotten the other man was present as well, as he had been focused on Alexander. Old feelings of hatred and envy tried to surface, but he refused to listen to their malicious advice and looked at Hephaestion with an open expression in his eyes. This man didn’t deserve his hatred. “One night they were driving me to my next customer and they became careless. They exited the car to get some coffee and didn’t lock the car door. I ran. I ran as hard as I could and fled into the forest you found me near.”

 

Alexander kissed the crown of Bagoas’ head and rubbed his cheek against the raven hair. “Did you stay long in that forest? Or did this happen just before we met?”

 

“I had been living in that forest for a few days.” Bagoas forced the ugly memories from his mind and concentrated on feeling Alexander close. “I didn’t trust you when you offered me food. You could have been sent to catch me and take me back to the brothel.”

 

Hephaestion’s expression had become thoughtful. He was still missing some pieces of the puzzle. “Who beat you up, Bagoas?”

 

Bagoas’ dark eyes opened and met Hephaestion’s. For the first time, his expression was completely free of envy or hatred. He now realized Hephaestion’s true nature and was unable to maintain his negative feelings for the older man. “That time I grew careless. I had already eaten the food you had left behind and a few days later, I needed more. I went inside the tavern again, resolved to make the innkeeper serve me, when I noticed the three men sitting in the back. They recognized me at once and chased me. They managed to catch me and were about to drag me into the car and back to the brothel, but this time I fought them. They grew angry and beat me up.”

 

“And they left you behind there?” But no, that made no sense. Hephaestion gave Bagoas a curious look.

 

“The innkeeper came to my rescue.” Bagoas’ eyes closed again, reliving the moment. “He might not want to serve people like me, but seeing me beat up in the parking lot was something he didn’t agree with. He sent his two guard dogs on the pimps and told them that he had rung the police. That gave me a chance to get away from them. I ran into the forest and continued to run. I carried the instructions you had left in my pocket and, as I had no other choice, I followed them. That is how I found you.”

 

Telling his story had exhausted Bagoas and he was beginning to doze off again, but not before voicing his greatest fear. “Can I stay here? I know I am putting you in danger, but I have no other place to go.” His drowsy eyes opened upon feeling Alexander’s fingers caress his face. “I am trouble.”

 

“Of course you will stay with us, Bagoas,” Alexander answered in a firm voice. “We will take care of the threat, should these men find you. I vow to keep you safe. They will never lay another finger on you again.”

 

Bagoas’ eyes filled with tears as he heard the resolve in Alexander’s voice. “I had hoped as much.” But it wasn’t just Alexander’s permission he needed in order to be able to stay – he needed Hephaestion’s as well. Lifting his head from Alexander’s shoulder, he timidly sought out Hephaestion’s eyes. “If you want me to leave I will. I will understand.” He had no place to go except the brothel and he refused to ever submit to his tormentors again. He would rather jump from a cliff and drown in the sea than to go back and to surrender to his cruel destiny. 

 

Hephaestion cringed, seeing the fear of rejection in Bagoas’ eyes. “Do you really think that I will turn you away?”

 

“I would understand if you did – considering the way I acted toward you in the past. It would be just punishment for my thinking of poisoning you and begrudging you Alexander’s love.”

 

Alexander’s expression softened. He knew Hephaestion well and realized his beloved would never act in such an unbecoming way.

 

“I am not like that,” Hephaestion replied, rubbing Bagoas’ feet. “I don’t hold a grudge. You are welcome here, Bagoas, and, like Alexander, I will try my best to keep you safe. Should these men find you, Alexander and I will do our best to keep them away from you.”

 

“But they are armed. They are dangerous…” Bagoas felt exhausted after sharing his history with them and sleep tugged at the corners of his mind. “I don’t want you to get hurt… either one of you.” This time he stood no chance fighting his fatigue and succumbed to it.

 

Alexander exchanged a look with his beloved. “They will try to find him and reclaim him.” As long as Bagoas was able to make money for them the pimps wouldn’t let him go. “We should prepare for such an event.” His gaze traveled from Hephaestion’s face to the swords lying on the dinner table. “We need to arm ourselves properly. We won’t be able to impress them by threatening them with a sword.”

 

Hephaestion agreed. “We will look into the matter tomorrow. Why don’t you tuck him into bed while I make certain no one found him yet?”

 

“Relieve me in a few hours and then I will stand guard. What do you think are the odds that they will find him?”

 

“Those are slim, but we can’t rule out that they will pay us a visit just to make certain that Bagoas isn’t here,” Hephaestion replied.

 

Alexander’s eyes burned with bloodlust. A part of him hoped those pimps would find them so he could pay them back for the hurt they inflicted on Bagoas. He might not be King, he might not be a legendary warrior, but he could still kill if necessary.

 

~~~

 

Holding Bagoas in his arms again felt good. Alexander had carried the younger man back to his bed, had lain him down, and stretched out next to him. Bagoas had moved closer and now lay snuggled close to him. Alexander’s mind remained troubled and he worried about the man resting next to him. Those criminals wouldn’t give up and there was a chance they would find him. If that happened, what was he supposed to do then?

 

The former police officer in him urged him to seek out the Greek police and report the crime. That way Bagoas would get some sort of protection, but Alexander didn’t like this option. The police would also take Bagoas into custody because he had been a prostitute – even though against his will – and Alexander didn’t want Bagoas to disappear in a holding cell. No, going to the police was not an option in this case.

 

He was still a warrior, he mused. He had been sparring with Hephaestion and his form had approved. As long as he didn’t need to fight for hours, he could take out anyone with a sword.

 

“I just know what you are thinking,” Hephaestion commented as he entered the bedroom. He sat down on the side of the bed and locked gazes with Alexander. “You want them dead.”

 

Alexander carefully shrugged his shoulders. “I wouldn’t mind ending their lives.” Although he now lived in the twenty-first century, the old and brutal warrior that had fought his battles was still a very powerful part of him. He had killed his first man as a teenager and many others had followed. If those criminals decided to track down Bagoas, he would look upon them as the enemy and take them out accordingly.

 

“There might be another way,” Hephaestion supplied, running his fingers through Alexander’s blond hair. “We could offer them money instead. We could ‘buy’ Bagoas so to speak. They would still make their profit and we could go our separate ways without bloodshed.”

 

“Don’t you want to make them bleed for what they did to Bagoas?” Alexander frowned.

 

“Of course I do.” Hephaestion’s gaze traveled from Alexander’s face to the sleeping form curled up next to him. “But if we kill them, more of them might follow and we would be in over our heads.”

 

“I don’t like the idea of ‘buying’ him.” But at the same time he had to admit that Hephaestion had found the least violent way out. “They might not accept our offer.” And then he would gladly kill them.

 

“We should try – for Bagoas’ sake. I don’t want him to live a life in which he constantly has to look over his shoulder.” Hephaestion gestured for Alexander to stretch out on his side.

 

Alexander complied and moved downward, lying down opposite Bagoas so he could still observe the younger man’s face. Hephaestion moved into position, spooning behind him. His lover’s long, powerful arms wrapped around both of them and Alexander smiled, pulling Bagoas closer. Listening to Hephaestion’s breathing, he felt at peace. “I feel sorry for Bagoas.”

 

“So do I, but he found us,” Hephaestion replied, nuzzling Alexander’s hair. “Bagoas’ recovery will take time, but he has us now.”

 

“Us…” Alexander whispered the word, repeating it. It confirmed Hephaestion’s earlier admission that he would also be there for the troubled young man. Alexander smiled and whispered, “Will you stay awake? I don’t want to be surprised.”

 

“Go to sleep, Alexander. I shall remain awake. I will wake you, should I become sleepy, and then you can hold watch.”

 

Alexander mumbled, softly, “Fine with me.” Together, they would make certain that no one got to Bagoas ever again.

 

~~~

 

It still took Bagoas time to get used to the fact that he was no longer alone. Being reunited with Alexander had a calming influence on him and, now that most of his memories had taken their original place in his mind, he began to think about his future.

 

Five days had passed by since Hephaestion had found him and most of the bruises were fading. His ribs still troubled him, limiting the time he could be on his feet and either Alexander or Hephaestion remained close. Their concern for him was palpable and Bagoas often blushed when Hephaestion reached out to help him.

 

Alexander watched them with amusement. Hephaestion was doing his best to make Bagoas feel at ease, but it was clear that the younger man felt insecure because of all the attention he was getting from Hephaestion. But Alexander was confident that Bagoas and Hephaestion would find a way to build their friendship, since Bagoas hadn’t rejected Hephaestion’s attempts to befriend him. Alexander remained at a distance most of the time, allowing Bagoas and Hephaestion to find common ground. Only at night did he indulge himself and snuggled up as close as possible to Bagoas. Hephaestion would spoon behind him, holding them in his strong arms.

 

But Alexander also remained alert. The fact that the criminals hadn’t come looking for Bagoas didn’t mean that they were out of danger. The chance remained that the pimps would drive out there to check if Bagoas had found refuge there. So while Bagoas and Hephaestion headed for the beach for a short walk, Alexander opted to search their surroundings, making certain that no one lurked about.

 

~~~

 

Bagoas peeked at Hephaestion’s face, wishing he knew what to say to the other man. Hephaestion had suggested going for a short walk so Bagoas would be out in the open instead of cooped up in his bedroom and he had agreed, eagerly embracing the chance to get some fresh air. He had to admit that the spot which Alexander and Hephaestion had chosen to live was charming. However, while walking over the beach, Bagoas grew distressed, realizing he would never really be a part of their lives. They tolerated his presence and, the moment he had sufficiently recovered to take care of himself, he would leave and return their privacy to them.

 

“Would you mind sitting down for a moment?” Hephaestion curled his fingers around Bagoas’ and fully expected to see the baffled expression in those dark eyes upon contact. “Sit with me.” Hephaestion sat down on the sand and gently pulled Bagoas down with him.

 

Bagoas didn’t really have a choice and followed Hephaestion’s example. He seated himself at some distance from the older man, but he couldn’t move very far away from Hephaestion, as the other man maintained his hold on his hand. “I wanted to thank you,” Bagoas said, timidly. “Thank you for allowing me to stay.”

 

Hephaestion noticed the downcast eyes and the sullen demeanor. “What is wrong?” He moved closer to the raven-haired man and settled down behind him. Ignoring the sharp gasp Bagoas released, he wrapped his arms and legs around the younger man. “Rest against me. I know your ribs are still hurting.”

 

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Sitting upright still caused him pain.

 

Hephaestion answered that question by gently pulling Bagoas close to him. The younger man finally relented and Hephaestion maintained his loose embrace on the other man. “I don’t mind, Bagoas.”

 

Bagoas couldn’t help growing nervous, being in such an intimate position with Hephaestion. Ever since he had let go of his jealousy and hatred, he had come to appreciate Hephaestion’s gentle and nurturing nature. Hephaestion was always willing to help him and Bagoas realized only too well what the older man was trying to do – Hephaestion was trying to gain his trust and his friendship. That Hephaestion would go to such great lengths to befriend him puzzled Bagoas. “Why are you doing this?”

 

Hephaestion rested his head on Bagoas’ shoulder and looked out over the sea. “I told you before, Bagoas. I am doing this because I like you.”

 

“But… Why do you like me?” Bagoas managed to tilt his head so he could look at Hephaestion. “You shouldn’t, you know.”

 

“Why is that?” Hephaestion cocked his head and his blue eyes searched Bagoas’ dark ones. “Because you love Alexander? So do I. Because you have Alexander’s best interest in mind? So have I.”

 

Bagoas shook his head. “I won’t make the same mistake twice.” He still hesitated to address Hephaestion by using his name. In his first life, he had always addressed him formally. “I was such a fool, thinking that I could make Alexander love me best, such a fool. But I know better now. I won’t compete with you. I won’t try to win Alexander’s love again. He has you and that is all he wants.”

 

“Oh, Bagoas, you really don’t understand Alexander, do you? He loves you and he wants you to love him back, but…” Hephaestion paused on purpose, trying to make Bagoas curious. The tactic worked.

 

“But what?” Bagoas frowned.

 

“But he wants you to love me as well.” Hephaestion saw surprise and disbelief in Bagoas’ eyes and rushed to explain his words. “You were so busy hating me that you never realized that I like you in the same way Alexander does.”

 

Bagoas’ lips opened as if to speak, but no words were forthcoming. All he could do was to stare at Hephaestion in shock.

 

“You heard correctly,” Hephaestion said, smiling at the stunned man. “It could have been the three of us back then. I would have liked that. But you were too busy being jealous of me.”

 

Bagoas couldn’t believe Hephaestion had actually said that. “You wanted that? You wanted it to be the three of us?”

 

“This probably comes as a shock, Bagoas, but I really like you. There were nights which you spent with Alexander when I wanted to join the two of you. I wanted to make love to you with Alexander. I wanted to hold you through the night, but the message your eyes sent my way was clear. You would rather have poisoned me than to allow me to touch you.”

 

Bagoas felt truly shocked. “I don’t understand any of this.” Seeing Hephaestion’s hooded eyes, he chided himself for saying that. “I lied. I do understand, but I…” He had a hard time believing Hephaestion. “You liked me in that way?”

 

“I still do, Bagoas.” Hephaestion pressed a chaste kiss onto Bagoas’ neck and then pulled back, not wanting to pressure the younger man in any way. “Why don’t you think this over? You don’t have to answer right now.”

 

“I am flattered,” Bagoas replied in an emotionless voice. He tried to hold on to his composure – he couldn’t crumble right now. He couldn’t give in to his needs and desires. He had made a mistake in his first life and he was still paying for his insane jealousy. Bagoas refused to make the same mistake twice. “But I won’t interfere. I don’t want to come between the two of you. Alexander is yours – he always was.”

 

Hephaestion shook his head in a disapproving way. “Alexander isn’t mine, Bagoas. He doesn’t belong to me.”

 

Ashamed, Bagoas bowed his head. “You are right. You are not like that. *I* am the one who thinks in such terms. Can we please go back now? I am tired.” Hephaestion’s closeness felt unsettling now that he realized what the other man was really offering. And why did it unsettle him? Because he wanted what Hephaestion was offering – he wanted to be a part of them, but he couldn’t. He had vowed to never come between them again.

 

Hephaestion sighed, released Bagoas from his hold, and got to his feet, pulling the younger man along. They returned to the house in silence, each man busy sorting out his thoughts.

 

~~~

 

“Is Bagoas still asleep?” Alexander gave Hephaestion a questioning look. Why wasn’t Hephaestion with Bagoas?

 

“Yes, he is. He asked for some time alone, Alexander. He is going through a lot of emotions right now.” Hephaestion needed his lover close and covered the distance between them. “I need you, my Alexander.”

 

Alexander knew that tone, had seen that certain expression before, and knew what Hephaestion needed. His lover needed to feel him and to ground him in turn. “Let me.” Alexander quickly disposed of Hephaestion’s shirt and jeans and looked admiringly at his lover’s trained body. “What troubles you?” he asked as he removed his own clothes. Naked, he moved closer to Hephaestion and buried his lover in a tight embrace.

 

“Bagoas does.” Hephaestion eagerly surrendered to Alexander’s passionate kisses.

 

“He will eventually accept this,” Alexander replied with certainty. He pushed Hephaestion toward the wall and then turned his lover in his embrace. Standing behind Hephaestion, he pressed his groin against his lover’s buttocks and ran his hands down his beloved’s abdomen in search of hard flesh. His fingers encountered his lover’s erection and he stroked until Hephaestion started to moan and push back against him. Hephaestion’s eagerness didn’t surprise him. His lover had always sought comfort in this way and today wasn’t any different. “I know what you need.”

 

“Take me!” Hephaestion cast a quick look at Alexander from over his shoulder, placed his hands against the wall and parted his legs. “Please…” He needed to feel Alexander claim him. He needed to know he belonged to Alexander.

 

Alexander pressed a kiss against the column of Hephaestion’s neck and reached for the lubricant. Hephaestion was already pressing back, moaning, so Alexander wasted no time. He quickly coated his erection with the lubricant, placed his hands around Hephaestion’s waist, and shuffled closer.

 

“Do it!” Hephaestion hissed out the comment, impatient and full of need. The head of Alexander’s shaft already pressed against the opening to his body and Hephaestion bit his bottom lip the moment his lover pressed inside. “Oh…” He bowed his head and surrendered to the welcome intrusion. “Make love to me, my Alexander.”

 

Alexander folded his arms around Hephaestion’s waist and pulled him close. At the same time, he sheathed himself to the hilt. Holding Hephaestion close, he forced his lover to lean back against him. Hephaestion’s back now rested against Alexander’s chest and they moved together in a sensual rhythm. Alexander took care not to bury himself too deeply and moved gently inside his lover. “I love you, Hephaestion.”

 

Hephaestion threw back his head and his auburn locks danced against Alexander’s face. “I love you so much,” Alexander whispered, rotating his hips and massaging his lover’s prostate. “I always will.”

 

Hephaestion curled his fingers around Alexander’s forearms and abandoned himself to his lover’s sweet, sensual lovemaking. When he had asked Alexander to take him, he had wanted his lover to take him hard, but this sweet, slow loving was much better.

 

~~~

 

Bagoas looked at them with growing self-pity. He had never seen them make love before. The look in Alexander’s eyes and the gentle way he was moving inside Hephaestion told Bagoas how much Alexander loved Hephaestion. He saw love, ecstasy, longing, and devotion in those brown eyes and he closed his own eyes in pain, knowing those feelings were directed at Hephaestion and not at him. /Alexander doesn’t love me the way he loves Hephaestion. I was such a fool to think I could make Alexander love me best./

 

He looked at them a little longer, seeing the connection that bound them. It resembled a golden cord that ran between them. They moved like one, breathed like one, and he bet their hearts were beating the exact same rhythm as well. Averting his gaze, he stared at the floor instead. Alexander had claimed him several times during his first life – Alexander had made love to him, but he recognized the difference now that he saw them move together. /I will never have what they have./

 

Melancholy overwhelmed him and Bagoas made his way back to his bed where he sat down. He didn’t feel jealous of the love Alexander felt for Hephaestion as he realized that he had never had Alexander’s love in the first place – and he never would. Alexander’s heart belonged to Hephaestion and to no one else.

 

~~~

 

Alexander supported his drained lover, keeping his arms tightly wrapped around Hephaestion’s waist. They had climaxed together, savoring the confirmation of their love, and he was still hard, still inside Hephaestion’s body. Hephaestion had bowed his head in fatigue and Alexander whispered into his lover’s ear, “Can you really imagine making Bagoas a part of our lovemaking?” Hephaestion’s head snapped up, and the grin which his lover gave him answered Alexander’s question. “You can.”

 

“Can you?” Hephaestion wickedly returned the question.

 

“Yes.” Alexander trembled now that his softening member left his lover’s warm body. “But you will have to take the first step.”

 

Hephaestion, feeling drained, nodded his head once. “Trust me, Alexander. I will find a way.”

 

~~~

 

“Bagoas? Are you hungry?” Hephaestion stepped into Bagoas’ room and grew worried, seeing the withdrawn, sullen expression in the dark eyes. Hephaestion pulled up a chair and sat down near the head end of the bed. “Are you in pain?”

 

Bagoas forced back his tears and kept his gaze lowered, unwilling to meet Hephaestion’s eyes. “No pain.”

 

“Bagoas?” Hephaestion frowned and scooted closer, exchanging his chair for the side of the bed. He placed a finger beneath Bagoas’ chin and tilted the still bruised face toward him. Frustrated, he saw that Bagoas had closed his eyes. “Why won’t you look at me?”

 

“I can’t.” Bagoas knew that the moment he opened his eyes they would release tears and he didn’t want to weep in front of Hephaestion.

 

Hephaestion followed his instincts and folded an arm around Bagoas’ shoulders. The younger man instantly tried to move away from him. “Why? Why are you shunning my touch, Bagoas? What did I do wrong?” A thought came to him then. “Did you watch?”

 

Bagoas didn’t pretend not to understand and nodded his head once. “I didn’t watch on purpose.”

 

“What did you see?” Hephaestion caressed Bagoas’ face and the dark eyes finally opened, showing surprise at being touched in such a tender way. “Please be honest with me.”

 

“I saw the truth.” Bagoas didn’t want to look into the stunning, azure eyes, but as Hephaestion kept his head tilted, he didn’t have much of a choice. “Alexander and you… The two of you belong together. There is no place in your lives for me.”

 

“Bagoas…” Hephaestion whispered the younger man’s name in a gentle voice and he leaned in closer, pressing a loving kiss onto Bagoas’ lips.

 

Bagoas’ eyes widened, revealing shock. “You kissed me! Why?” Hephaestion’s taste still lingered on his lips. It was a new taste, as he had never kissed the older man before.

 

“Bagoas, Alexander and I love you. I understand that you need time to accept that, but Bagoas, it is the truth.” Hephaestion rubbed his thumb across Bagoas’ lips. “Concentrate on growing strong again, Bagoas, and give us a chance… The three of us.”

 

“I don’t know if I can…” At a loss, Bagoas stared at Hephaestion’s lips, which circled near his brow. Those sweet, soft lips deposited a kiss onto his forehead, making him sigh in surprise. “I can’t believe you really want this… want me.” Pleadingly, Bagoas looked at Hephaestion. “How can you want me? I wanted to kill you and…”

 

“Stop living in the past, Bagoas.” Hephaestion brushed a strand of stray, raven hair behind Bagoas’ ear.

 

But Bagoas shook his head. “Hephaestion, even if I did that… I would still be a whore.” It was the first time he’d ever addressed the older man so informally and he trembled. He had always called him Lord, Master, or General, but never just Hephaestion. “They raped me… How can you still want to touch me?”

 

Hephaestion determinedly shook his head to take the punch out of Bagoas’ statement. “They forced you, Bagoas. You are not to blame. Why can’t you see how much we care about you? How much we love you? Why are you so determined to cling to your self-loathing? You are such an amazing person, Bagoas. Let us love you.” His fingers curled around Bagoas’, trying to convince the younger man by touch.

 

Bagoas wanted to believe that he saw love and acceptance in Hephaestion’s eyes, but his fear remained. After hating Hephaestion for a life time, he didn’t think he was worthy of having the other man’s love.

 

“Bagoas? Please.” Alexander had overheard their conversation and joined them. He sat on his heels next to the bed and placed his hand atop of Hephaestion’s.

 

“I shouldn’t.” Bagoas shook his head, but his resolve was crumbling. “I don’t deserve this. I am not worthy of…”

 

“Oh, but you are! And you deserve so much more!” Alexander felt at a loss – what was he supposed to say to convince Bagoas?

 

Bagoas blinked and searched Hephaestion’s eyes. “Before I can answer your question I want to ask for your forgiveness. I was wrong to hate you, to begrudge you Alexander’s love. I was so selfish! So…”

 

“Stop it.” Hephaestion gently squeezed Bagoas’ fingers. “I don’t blame you.” He paused, seeing the need in the dark eyes. “If this is so important to you, I will say it: I forgive you, Bagoas, though, as far as I am concerned, there is nothing to forgive.” Seeing Bagoas was about to protest again, Hephaestion did the only thing he could do and leaned in closer to claim Bagoas’ lips again, effectively silencing him.

 

Alexander smiled happily, seeing the way Bagoas surrendered to the kiss and tried to move closer to Hephaestion. A moan escaped Bagoas’ lips and the dark eyes filled with desire during the kiss. Suddenly those dark eyes looked at him with fright and he cocked his head, smiling brilliantly. He hoped that smile reassured Bagoas that he wanted this to happen. “Will you now give us your answer, Bagoas?”

 

Bagoas could only stare at them. He had lost and he knew it. He had never stood a chance fighting them – fighting their combined passion and love. “Do with me as you please. If you want to love me, love me, though you should know that I don’t deserve…” Hephaestion’s arm snaked up behind his back, pulled him close and then those luscious lips possessed his once more. He felt helplessly adrift on Hephaestion’s sea of passion and, looking into the azure eyes, he realized his haven – his home – was maybe within reach after all.

 

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

The Dance of Love

 

Bagoas continued to improve during the next week and slowly became used to having either Alexander or Hephaestion at his side. He began to feel comfortable in their presence and easily established his relationship with Alexander all over again. The trust and affection that been there during their first life returned, strengthening their current relationship. Things weren’t as easy between Hephaestion and him though, and Bagoas was very much aware of his self-doubt and self-loathing which he now used to keep the older man at a distance. He wasn’t doing it on purpose; he simply didn’t know how to act around Hephaestion when the older man acted so caring and inviting.

 

“Bagoas?” Alexander seated himself next to Bagoas on the couch in the living room. Bagoas was getting better and most of the bruises were fading. The ribs, however, continued to hamper Bagoas and their healing would take longer. Luckily, Bagoas had started to eat again and Alexander thought the younger man had already put on some weight. “I need to drive into town and I won’t be back until tomorrow eve. I will leave you in Hephaestion’s capable hands.”

 

“You are leaving?” Bagoas’ bottom lip twitched. Why couldn’t it be the other way around? Why couldn’t Hephaestion go into town and Alexander stay with him? His eyes narrowed as he wondered on if they were doing this on purpose, forcing him and Hephaestion to spend even more time together. In spite of his promises to let them have their chance to show them how much they loved him, he remained wary of Hephaestion’s attempts. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Hephaestion; he just didn’t feel worthy of the older man’s attention. Not after the way he had treated Hephaestion in their first life. “Must you go?”

 

“Yes, we need certain things. You need clothes, Peritas needs dog food and I need some new books.” Alexander’s fingers glided through Bagoas’ long mane which once more shone jet black. Bagoas was recovering, but the younger man was still far from healed. “Hephaestion will take good care of you, Bagoas.”

 

Bagoas looked about to make certain that Hephaestion wasn’t around and then said, “I am trying, Alexander. I really am. But I don’t know how to act around him.”

 

Alexander nodded his head once. “I have noticed that and so has Hephaestion. Bagoas, this takes time.”

 

“Is that why you are going away?”

 

“Partly,” Alexander admitted, smiling. “But I also need to buy this stuff.”

 

“I will be good,” Bagoas agreed in a child-like voice. “It is just… I don’t think…”

 

Hearing the self-doubt in Bagoas’ voice made Alexander lean in closer and he brushed the younger man’s lips. “Trust me… being loved by Hephaestion is easy. Just stop fighting him.”

 

Bagoas’ cheeks grew flushed and he quickly averted his gaze. “It is easy for you because he is supposed to love you. It is different for me. He isn’t supposed to love me.”

 

Alexander realized that carrying on this conversation was useless as long as Bagoas was convinced that he didn’t deserve being loved. A smile stole onto his features and he fingered a strand of Bagoas’ raven hair. Maybe he should stay away a little longer. That way Hephaestion would get his chance to get close to Bagoas. “I am not going to argue with you, Bagoas.” His smile turned into a full-sized smirk. “Had I still been King you would not have dared to contradict me, would you?”

 

His comment made Bagoas smile in turn. “You are right.” But Alexander was no longer his King. Only the ruler of his heart. It had taken him some time to realize that he wasn’t a slave any more, and he still slipped at times, thinking about himself in that way. Alexander’s lips suddenly sought out his in a passionate kiss and Bagoas whimpered, greedily wanting more, but then the blond man pulled back, deserting his lips. “Hurry back.”

 

Alexander grinned. “Hephaestion said exactly the same thing.” He didn’t want to leave them alone, but knew he had to. It might be the best way for them to form a relationship.

 

~~~

 

“I made dinner.” Hephaestion carried a tray over to the coffee table and set it down. Bagoas had rested on the couch for most of the day and Hephaestion had been under the impression that the younger man was asleep, but he was wrong: the eyes were open and alert. “How do you feel? Still sore?”

 

Bagoas sat up straight and stared at the tray Hephaestion now placed on his lap. The plate contained meat, vegetables, potatoes, and even dessert in the shape of ice cream. “You didn’t have to do this.” His stomach growled and he picked up the fork. Bagoas started to eat, making it a point not to look at Hephaestion as he sat down next to him, nursing and sipping his black coffee.

 

Hephaestion ignored the remark, as he had heard it before. Bagoas had a tendency to neglect his needs, especially when it was Hephaestion looking after him. “Try to eat it all.”

 

Bagoas reluctantly nodded his head and continued to eat. Hephaestion reached for the remote control and switched on the television. After doing some channel hopping, Hephaestion settled for watching a documentary on Discovery Channel. Hephaestion raised his legs, rested his feet on the coffee table, and continued to sip his coffee. Hephaestion’s calm threw Bagoas even more off balance. He just didn’t understand how Hephaestion could act this comfortable around him when he himself felt so anxious. Trying to do away with the silence, which felt uncomfortable to him, he said, “You are a good cook. This is very tasty.” He couldn’t make a mistake by paying Hephaestion a compliment, could he?

 

“Thank you.” Hephaestion finally cast a look at the younger man. Bagoas immediately averted his eyes to prevent making eye contact and Hephaestion sighed softly. He hadn’t thought that gaining Bagoas’ trust would be so hard. /No, it isn’t that he doesn’t trust me… He doesn’t trust himself with me./

 

Bagoas finished his meal; he had managed to empty his plate. Hephaestion collected the tray and returned it to the kitchen. A moment later, he seated himself on the couch again and studied Bagoas’ eyes, which were fastened on the screen. “Are you tired, Bagoas?” He thought he saw fatigue in the dark eyes.

 

Bagoas nodded once, not trusting his voice to sound steady. Being in such close proximity to Hephaestion without Alexander close made him shy.

 

“Why don’t you lie down again?” Hephaestion hoped Bagoas would accept this invitation, and yes, the eyes shyly locked with his. “Lie down, Bagoas.” He petted his lap, indicating Bagoas should rest his head there.

 

Bagoas swallowed hard as his nervousness increased. Hephaestion was a riddle to him, one which he failed to figure out.

 

“Bagoas?” Growing worried now that Bagoas was blankly staring at him, Hephaestion took charge and gently pulled Bagoas down until the other man’s head rested on his lap.

 

Now that he no longer had a choice, Bagoas curled up on the couch and flinched, feeling Hephaestion’s fingers tenderly stroke his hair. Alexander liked to caress his hair, to run his fingers through the strands, but this wasn’t Alexander. This was Hephaestion! “I don’t understand,” he admitted eventually with a trembling voice.

 

“Give it time and you will,” Hephaestion promised, having long realized that he wouldn’t get through to Bagoas with mere words. He had to show his intentions through touch and deeds.

 

Bagoas tried to follow the program on television, but eating the large meal had made him drowsy and his eyes began to close. Hephaestion kept up the soothing strokes in his hair and Bagoas finally grew relaxed beneath the caress, relaxed enough to doze off.

 

~~~

 

“It is time to go to bed,” Hephaestion announced. He had grown tired himself, being stuck on the couch with Bagoas sprawled on his lap. “Bagoas, wake up…” But Bagoas, deeply asleep, didn’t wake, and Hephaestion had no other choice but to lift the younger man and carry him into the bedroom. Hephaestion placed Bagoas, who was only wearing a morning robe, on the bed. He turned down the covers, stripped down, and slipped into a t-shirt, knowing Bagoas wasn’t comfortable with having him naked in bed with him. He had seen the suspicious look in those brown eyes. Hephaestion stretched out next to Bagoas and the younger man moved closer to him. He wrapped his arms around Bagoas’ form and draped one leg possessively across the younger man’s hip, pulling him even closer. Tangled up like that, Hephaestion joined Bagoas in sleep.

 

~~~

 

Bagoas nuzzled the warm skin and drew in the other man’s scent. His eyes opened abruptly, realizing it wasn’t Alexander’s scent he was inhaling: it was Hephaestion’s. The older man had wrapped himself around him during the night and Bagoas felt at a loss, looking at the warm, welcoming expression on Hephaestion’s face. Even in his sleep, the other man appeared to smile.

 

/I don’t understand any of this. I don’t understand him. Why is Hephaestion doing this?/ Bagoas blinked. /He told me to stop living in the past and I did that./ He was even growing used to calling him Hephaestion instead of addressing him in a formal way. /But that doesn’t change what I am. I am a whore./ In his first life, he had been castrated and made into a eunuch, but back then he had first served Darius and then Alexander. He had figured he hadn’t done so badly after all, serving those two Great Kings. He had received a proper education from Oromedon and his Kings had bestowed gifts upon him. The best gift he had received had come from Alexander. Alexander had really loved him.

 

But the things that had happened in his current life had affected him more. He had felt much more degraded and humiliated being sold off to a brothel. There had been no Kings to serve in this life. No gifts, no one to love him. He felt more of a whore today than he had in his first life.

 

“You are brooding,” Hephaestion stated, though he kept his eyes closed. “It is much too early to worry, Bagoas.” Even with his eyes closed, he could tell that the sun hadn’t risen yet, for it was still cool in the room. “Go back to sleep, Bagoas.”

 

“I can’t,” Bagoas whispered in an apologetic voice. “I want to, but I can’t.”

 

Hephaestion finally opened his eyes and quickly searched Bagoas’ gaze before the younger man had a chance to lower it. “Why don’t you confide in me? I know I am not Alexander, but I want to be there for you in that way.” Would Bagoas take this step or continue to shut him out?

 

Bagoas considered Hephaestion’s request. “I want to trust you,” he said, eventually, timidly maintaining eye contact through long eye lashes. “It is not your fault I act in this way.”

 

“Why are you acting in this way?” Hephaestion took to soothingly rubbing Bagoas’ shoulders, massaging the tense muscles there.

 

Bagoas moistened his lips and forced himself to continue to look into Hephaestion’s eyes. “Maybe I am afraid to believe you are for real.”

 

Hephaestion frowned. “Would you care to explain that?”

 

“I understand why Alexander accepts me back into his life. He loves me and maybe he feels some measure of responsibility for me – for what happened to me in this life. But I don’t understand why you are reaching out to me. Maybe out of pity?” Bagoas trembled, wondering why Hephaestion’s touch felt so good, so comforting. “I am a whore, Hephaestion.” Speaking the other man’s name increased his trembling. “You were a General once. You accomplished things in this life time as well. And what did I do?”

 

“Bagoas, you were forced into prostitution! You were raped and forced to work in that brothel!” Hephaestion placed the palm of his hand against Bagoas’ cheek and his fingers rubbed the soft skin. “You are the victim here.”

 

Bagoas shrugged. “I have been thinking about this and I have come to believe that this is my punishment for hating you in my first life. I deserve what happened to me.” Hephaestion’s eyes widened and Bagoas wondered why. “It is the truth.”

 

“By Zeus!” Hephaestion stared at Bagoas. “Did you convince yourself you deserve to be punished?” Speechless, he shook his head.

 

“It makes sense.” Bagoas’ mouth had gone dry and he averted his gaze, unable to bear the pity he saw in Hephaestion’s sparkling eyes.

 

“Oh no!” Hephaestion had found his voice again and spoke rapidly. “You can’t believe that! Oh, Bagoas, you aren’t being punished for envying me in the past!”

 

“That is what you say, but I know better.” Bagoas felt the urge to free himself of Hephaestion’s soothing touches, but was unable to pull away. A part of him craved being touched in such a tender and accepting way. He craved having Hephaestion’s love, acceptance, and approval, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to admit that. Hating himself was so much easier.

 

Hephaestion released a deep sigh. Convincing Bagoas of his love and affection proved much harder than he had originally thought. “Bagoas, you suffered an unjust and cruel fate in your first life. Had Alexander or I been around, we would have stopped them from cutting you and selling you into slavery.” Bagoas’ eyes widened and Hephaestion continued now that he had the younger man’s attention. “The fate you suffered in your current life is unjust and cruel as well and I will do everything I can to make you happy – to convince you that you deserve better – that you deserve Alexander’s love as well as mine.”

 

Tremors shook Bagoas and he met Hephaestion’s gaze again, needing to see the expression in those amazing eyes. Honesty and sincerity he read in those blue lights. Hephaestion was telling him the truth.

 

“I would gladly kill the men who did this to you. I would travel to Athens to rip out their throats, if such an action wouldn’t endanger you. I would be drawing attention to you and I don’t want that. I want you to live a life in peace and happiness.”

 

“Rip out their throats?” Hephaestion’s determination stunned Bagoas.

 

“That would be going easy on them. If it were up to me they would suffer horribly before ending their lives and I know Alexander feels exactly the same way. We would be honored to avenge you, but we can’t do so because we are afraid of endangering you. By not acting on our vindictive feelings we hope they will forget about you and leave you alone.”

 

Hephaestion’s speech and, even more so, his vicious tone surprised Bagoas. “You really care about me…” That realization only hit him now, upending his world and making his head spin.

 

Hephaestion smiled at Bagoas. “How can you doubt that I care about you? I always did. Do you really think I would have gone back to fetch you when I didn’t care? Alexander was too drained to notice you gone from his troop, but I did and I ventured into that desert to find you. I was so afraid I would come too late and find you dead. I wanted to hug you close when I found you. I wanted to kiss you and rock you. You looked so close to death and I was so afraid we would lose you.”

 

“I thought you had come to punish me for thinking about poisoning you,” Bagoas admitted, caught off guard by Hephaestion’s tone and confession. “But then you allowed me to drink and I realized you had come to rescue me.”

 

Hephaestion caressed Bagoas’ face, affectionately stroking the facial skin. “I said that I had come for you because I needed you to look after Alexander in my stead, and that was true – but that was only part of it. I needed you safe as well. Alexander loves you and… I could not help but love you as well.” Hephaestion sucked in his breath, seeing the expression in the dark eyes change and soften. Was he finally getting through to Bagoas? “I would have reached out to you a long time ago if you hadn’t looked at me with such hatred in your eyes.”

 

“I no longer hate you,” Bagoas whispered in a guilty voice. “I should not have hated you back then either. I was wrong to hate you – to be so jealous of you, but…” He grew silent now that Hephaestion was pressing a finger against his lips. If only his jealousy hadn’t consumed him in the past! Then he might have seen the affection in those sparkling, blue eyes, but he had been blinded. Cautiously, he raised his right hand and placed its palm against Hephaestion’s face, touching the older man gently for the very first time. He felt nervous, reaching out in this way.

 

Hephaestion kept himself motionless, thrilled to feel Bagoas touch him. He didn’t dare to move, afraid he might scare the younger man off again. He gave Bagoas a warm smile and leaned into the touch, rubbing his cheek against the exploring fingers. “I like that.”

 

Bagoas’ heart missed a beat, seeing the adoring expression in Hephaestion’s eyes. Alexander had always reminded him of a tiger, pacing and stalking, waiting for the exact moment to jump his enemy. Alexander’s administrations had been gentle, but at times they had also been forceful and commanding. Hephaestion was different though. Looking into the big, blue eyes, Bagoas thought he was looking at the King of all animals, the lion. Hephaestion possessed qualities Alexander lacked. There was dignity and understanding in those radiant eyes and Bagoas swallowed hard, finally realizing that Hephaestion had always been the strong one and not Alexander, as he had always thought. “I like touching you,” Bagoas whispered. He still felt so insecure that the sound of his own voice startled him.

 

“You should touch me more often.” Hephaestion continued to rub his cheek against Bagoas’ hand and he even purred, trying to show his approval.

 

Hearing Hephaestion purr made Bagoas hard. He had never thought that this strong, muscular man would be like this between the sheets. But then again, he had never given Hephaestion’s behavior in bed much thought to begin with. “I am not sure I can…” But he was hard, painfully hard, and he couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. He had never grown erect when he had been with a customer.

 

“May I?” Hephaestion wiggled an eyebrow and gave Bagoas a trusting look. “I won’t do anything you aren’t ready for. I promise.” He hoped Bagoas would accept his offer. He wanted them to move on.

 

Bagoas swallowed, nervously. “Hephaestion, I…” Oh, he wanted this. He wanted to be touched in love! But why did it have to be Hephaestion? Why not Alexander? He didn’t feel so shy around Alexander!

 

Hephaestion read the real answer in Bagoas’ eyes. “I will be very careful with you, Bagoas. You can trust me.” His hands slipped into the raven hair and massaged the scalp. “I will never hurt you, Bagoas. Never!”

 

The determination that echoed in that last word was Bagoas’ undoing and he shakily nodded his head. “Do as you please.”

 

“Oh no… Tell me what you want, what you need.” Hephaestion caressed Bagoas’ ears, let his fingers slide down the elegant curve and tugged playfully at an earlobe. “I want to please you, Bagoas.”

 

Bagoas closed his eyes, sighing in bliss. “I want to feel good,” he admitted, caught off-guard.

 

“I think I can do that.” Hephaestion, resting on his side, continued to caress Bagoas’ face and ears and then leaned in closer to kiss the younger man’s lips. It was a tender kiss as Hephaestion remembered the split lip and bruises Bagoas had so recently suffered. “Does this make you feel good?” He acted very slowly now, very carefully so as not to startle Bagoas and began to pull the younger man atop of him.

 

“Yes, it does.” Bagoas blinked, suddenly finding himself straddling Hephaestion. But the other man didn’t give him much time to ponder his situation as large hands gently guided his head down, closer to Hephaestion’s lips and then the kisses started all over again.

 

Hephaestion’s hands traveled down Bagoas’ neck, pushed the fabric of the morning robe aside and let it pool around the younger man’s waist. “You are beautiful, Bagoas.” He whispered the words into Bagoas’ mouth and felt the younger man quiver beneath his touch. The dark eyes still shone with insecurity and uncertainty, but Hephaestion realized that Bagoas was giving him the chance he had asked for and he was determined not to disappoint his new lover. “I won’t betray your trust, Bagoas.”

 

Bagoas’ bottom lip trembled, showing his nervousness. “I don’t know what has come over me. I know what to do, but…” Lessons, taught to him by Oromedon, showed him what to do, how to please Hephaestion, but he couldn’t bring himself to put them into practice.

 

“Just let it happen.” Hephaestion placed one hand at the back of Bagoas’ neck and pulled the younger man close so they could resume their kissing. His other hand traveled down Bagoas’ spine, rubbing his lover’s back. “Just allow for it to happen.”

 

Bagoas whimpered, hearing the soft, caring tone in Hephaestion’s voice. /He really cares about me… Why was I so blind? Oh…/ His worries and self-doubt faded the moment Hephaestion’s fingers curled around his erection. He gave the older man a questioning smile, never expecting Hephaestion to stimulate him that directly. “Hephaestion…” he panted the name before he closed his eyes and thrust into the other man’s hand.

 

Hephaestion’s eyes sparkled with admiration and affection. “Just let go, Bagoas. Enjoy this.” He stroked Bagoas’ erection firmly and continued to kiss him, allowing Bagoas’ tongue into his mouth and challenging it to a duel.

 

Bagoas rocked atop of Hephaestion, experiencing sensations he had never felt before. His body was ready to burst with pleasure and he whipped his hips forward, thrusting into Hephaestion’s hand. “Please…”

 

Hephaestion deepened their kiss and one more firm stroke of his hand sent Bagoas over the edge. He held the younger man close, feeling him quiver beneath his touch. Hot cream splashed onto his hand and Hephaestion buried Bagoas in a tight hug.

 

Bagoas in turn clung to Hephaestion. Ecstasy coursed through his body and his semen dripped from the purple head, slowly covering Hephaestion’s hand.

 

“I guess that answers the one question I was afraid to ask you.” Hephaestion stroked Bagoas’ back. “I don’t know why, but I was afraid you…” Oh, how to phrase this tactfully? “I was afraid you couldn’t perform.”

 

“No one castrated me in this life and for that, I am grateful.” Bagoas closed his eyes and inhaled Hephaestion’s musky scent. Close to his lips rose an erect nipple from Hephaestion’s chest and the sight of it made him smile. Slowly, he rubbed the hard nub, teasing it with his thumb. “Thank you.”

 

Hephaestion bit back a groan now that Bagoas was playing with his nipple. He was hard himself, but had decided to ignore his arousal. Bagoas’ needs came first right now and he didn’t want his new lover to think that he had to pleasure him in turn. “I should clean you up.” He wrapped his arms around Bagoas’ waist and rolled the younger man onto his back. “Stay here and don’t move.” He didn’t want to leave their warm bed, but he wanted to do this for Bagoas.

 

“You don’t have to! I can... I am the one who should clean up this mess! Not you!” He was the slave and Hephaestion… /No, I am not. I am not a slave any more!/ But cleaning up after making love had always been his job. Having Hephaestion attend to him in such a way felt uncomfortable. He watched big-eyed as Hephaestion left the bed and disappeared into the bathroom.

 

Hephaestion had taken him by surprise and only now did he realize that he hadn’t offered to bring the other man to orgasm in turn. During both his lives, his ‘teachers’ had taught him to always put the ‘customer’ first. It was unheard of to want pleasure for himself and to leave his partner unfulfilled. But Hephaestion hadn’t even hinted that he wanted to be brought to orgasm!

 

“Why are you brooding now?” Hephaestion had returned from the bathroom, carrying a wet wash cloth and a towel. He seated himself on the bed and gently pushed the fabric of Bagoas’ morning robe out of the way.

 

“I didn’t… I mean… Are you hard?” Bagoas’ stare was directed at Hephaestion’s groin and the bulge located there. “Do you want me…? I can…” Wet cloth moved against his skin and he choked back the rest of his words.

 

“This is about you, Bagoas. Don’t worry about me.” Hephaestion frowned, seeing something unusual. “Bagoas, how did you get these?” He disposed of the wash cloth and inched closer. His fingertips moved gently over the scrotum, touching the velvet-like sac. “Are these scars?”

 

“I was born with these marks.” How could he have forgotten about them? Now that he thought about those marks, he realized what they were – reminders of the scars the men had left behind who had castrated him over two thousand years ago. “I never made the connection before.”

 

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath. “You don’t know how relieved I am that you didn’t suffer the same fate in this life as you did two millennia ago. I was scared to ask you if they had…”

 

“No, they didn’t… I am… whole,” Bagoas said, after searching for the right word and only coming up with that one. And then Hephaestion did something that made his heart momentarily stop beating. The older man bent forward, nuzzled his groin and then kissed first one testicle and then the other, his lips gently brushing the skin of his sac. “Why did you do that?” The gesture, the intimacy, and the affection in that caress had touched his heart, leaving him panting and trembling.

 

“Because…” Hephaestion frowned, trying to find the right words. “Maybe I wanted to take away some of your pain.”

 

A lump consisting of fierce emotions constricted Bagoas’ throat. “That was…” That had been an incredibly sweet thing to say and to do. Taking the initiative, Bagoas pulled Hephaestion down and, ignoring the fact that he was as good as naked, snuggled up to him. Hephaestion’s strong arms wrapped around him and Bagoas sighed in bliss. “Alexander said that being loved by you was easy… He was right.” And he had learned another valuable lesson as well – loving Hephaestion was just as easy.

 

Part 2

 

 

Hephaestion remained in bed a little longer than he normally would. Bagoas had fallen asleep again after their sexual encounter and he enjoyed holding the younger man close. Looking at Bagoas’ face, which was relaxed in slumber, he couldn’t help but worry for the other man. He couldn’t quite explain why he felt this concerned, but something had set off his alarms. Maybe it had been the guilty expression in those dark eyes when Bagoas had offered to bring him to orgasm.

 

How badly had Bagoas been damaged in this lifetime? Hephaestion knew what had happened to Bagoas in both his lives, but not how deeply it had injured Bagoas. He realized he had to be extremely careful where any intimacy was concerned. Bagoas had acted surprised, no stunned, that Hephaestion had made him the center of attention. It had always been the other way around – maybe even with Alexander as well.

 

Hephaestion had never been raped – had never been forced to pleasure someone so it was hard for him to understand the lasting effects of being used in such a way on Bagoas. How would Bagoas react the moment he was placed on the receiving end? Would he expect pain? Would he show his feelings, his fear? And even more importantly, would he tell them that he might not want to be on the bottom?

 

Hephaestion had always understood Bagoas better than Alexander had. Alexander had never realized that Bagoas’ passionate response to him had been ingrained in him from his childhood. Bagoas had been trained to respond in that way, even when his instincts would have told him to run instead. /Only time will tell,/ Hephaestion thought, holding Bagoas in his arms for as long as the other man’s sleep lasted.

 

~~~

 

Bagoas felt warm and safe in these strong arms circling his waist and holding him close. This time he instantly recognized the man’s scent. Hephaestion was holding him and not Alexander. Only a few days ago he would have panicked, but Hephaestion being so gentle and loving during their sexual encounter had taken away some of his apprehension and insecurity.

 

Opening his eyes, he looked into Hephaestion’s azure ones and for one moment he felt it was like looking into the immeasurable depths of the sea. “Good morning,” Bagoas forced out. Butterflies tickled his insides and he grew flustered, remembering the beautiful things Hephaestion had said and done after the other man had brought him to orgasm.

 

“Good morning to you too.” Hephaestion gave Bagoas his most charming smile. “Did you sleep well?”

 

“I did more than just sleep and you know it.” Bagoas’ eyes widened as he heard himself say such an inappropriate thing. What possessed him to say something that cocky?

 

“Yes, we did more than just sleep and I wanted to thank you for trusting me. That must have been hard on you.”

 

“Not as hard as I thought it would.” Alexander had been right all along; it was easy to be loved by Hephaestion and he was beginning to return the other man’s feelings. Waking up in such an intimate setting also reminded him that he had left Hephaestion’s needs unfulfilled and that he should make up for it. Rubbing his thigh against Hephaestion’s groin, he whispered, “You are hard.” A part of him didn’t want to act in this way – didn’t want to degrade himself and suffer that pain again – but another part insisted he owed Hephaestion for making him feel in such a wonderful way. These two parts were at war with each other and he felt adrift on his emotions. “I should take care of that.”

 

Hephaestion grew alert, seeing the troubled expression in Bagoas’ dark eyes. Fear shone back at him. “Bagoas…”

 

Bagoas swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of his dread. He didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to be torn again, but… Bagoas pushed himself onto his hands and knees, bowed his head, and presented himself to the older man. He didn’t speak a word as his throat contracted with trepidation. The last time someone had taken him the man had left him torn and bleeding.

 

Hephaestion remained calm. “What are you doing, Bagoas?” He moved onto his knees and cupped Bagoas’ face between his hands, forcing the younger man to look at him. The terror that stared back at him from those dark eyes made his heart miss a beat. Bagoas expected to be hurt. /He expects *me* to hurt him! How can he think I would hurt him?/

 

“Don’t you want to fuck me now?” Tears dripped from Bagoas’ face and onto the sheet. His fingers clawed at the material and tore the fabric.

 

Hephaestion’s eyes filled with sympathy and understanding. He had half expected something like this to happen and felt strangely prepared to deal with the scared man. “No, I don’t. I will never ‘fuck’ you, Bagoas. If we ever decide to take that step, we will make love.”

 

Slowly, like he was dealing with a frightened animal, Hephaestion folded his arms around Bagoas’ waist and lowered the younger man back onto the bed. Bagoas instantly curled up on his side and Hephaestion guided the dark head onto his lap, once more gently stroking the raven mane. “You no longer live that life, Bagoas. No one will ever hurt you again. I promise.” Hephaestion leaned in closer and placed a chaste kiss on Bagoas’ brow.

 

His dark eyes had filled with tears and they continued to flow down his cheeks. His fingers hadn’t relaxed and still clawed at the sheet. He pulled his knees close to his chest and sobbed softly. “I don’t understand.”

 

“I think you do,” Hephaestion whispered, maintaining the gentle stroking of Bagoas’ hair. “But you are afraid to believe it is for real. You have been in pain for a very long time and you cannot believe that things have changed.” Hephaestion’s heart ached for the younger man. “If I could I would take away your pain, but I can’t. All I can do is protect you and love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

 

“I deserve to be loved?”

 

The pleading expression in Bagoas’ eyes made Hephaestion’s water in turn. “Of course you deserve to be loved!” He understood why Bagoas was acting in this way, but had no solution for their problem. Only time would heal Bagoas’ wounds.

 

Bagoas closed his eyes and continued to cry for long minutes. Eventually he calmed down and became aware of Hephaestion’s fingers moving through his hair. “You refused me.” That thought stunned him. He had never thought Hephaestion would pass up the chance to claim him. That realization allowed a small seed of hope to blossom inside him.

 

“When we do make love I want it to be because you desire me and not because you were taught to offer yourself in that way. I want your love, Bagoas. Not your body.” Hephaestion’s hands trembled while caressing the black strands of hair. Seeing Bagoas offer himself in such a way had unsettled him. /I need to discuss this with Alexander./ He couldn’t take the risk that Alexander would make the mistake of seeing Bagoas’ surrender as passion.

 

Bagoas slowly raised his head and sat up because he wanted to search Hephaestion’s eyes. At first, he didn’t think he could bear feeling Hephaestion’s gaze on him, but after gathering his courage, he looked into the swimming eyes. /Swimming? He is close to shedding tears too. Why is that?/

 

“My heart aches for what was done to you, Bagoas. Please try to understand that you no longer have to live that life or act the part. You can be yourself now.” Hephaestion hoped the smile he was giving Bagoas would reassure the younger man. “You don’t have to do anything against your will. Your days of being helpless are over.”

 

Bagoas could only stare at Hephaestion, absorbing those words with a desperate need. “Is that the truth?” The mere thought of never having to endure such invasive pain again made his heart feel lighter.

 

Hephaestion’s heart contracted painfully, hearing the child-like tone. “Yes, it is.” He hugged Bagoas close and held him, even rocking him slightly when he felt Bagoas shake himself to pieces. “Your old life is over. You have started a new one: One without pain.”

 

Bagoas wanted to believe that. He really did…

 

~~~

 

“Hungry?” Hephaestion scrapped the omelet onto Bagoas’ plate and gave the younger man a thoughtful look. Bagoas had taken a shower and his hair was still slightly damp, clinging to his face. Acting without thinking first, he reached out to brush the wet strands away from Bagoas’ face and was completely taken aback when Bagoas flinched away from him. “What?” What had happened just now?

 

“Please don’t take it personally,” Bagoas said in a voice that was barely more than a whisper. “I reacted instinctively.” He used his long hair to hide behind, letting it fall in front of his face.

 

Hephaestion sat down, feeling sick to the stomach. He should have known that Bagoas had been hit, but until now, that fact had never really registered. “I will never hit you.”

 

“I know that.” Bagoas cringed; he hated himself for the way he had pulled back when Hephaestion had only wanted to brush away his hair. “It was nothing but a reflex. I know you won’t hit me.” He finally found the courage to raise his eyes and look at Hephaestion. “I learned to react before…”

 

“Before they struck,” Hephaestion drew in a deep breath as he needed to calm himself. “Will you tell me what happened?”

 

Bagoas shrugged his shoulders once. “There isn’t much to tell. They hit me to make me pliant.”

 

Hephaestion’s rage simmered dangerously. He would love to hurt these men who had done so much damage to Bagoas! “May I?” Determined to not let Bagoas feel guilty about reacting in that way, Hephaestion slowly raised his right hand and moved it toward Bagoas’ face. The dark eyes remained trained on his and he smiled, trying to reassure the younger man. He could tell that Bagoas fought the urge to back away from him, but the younger man eventually managed to stay in place and Bagoas closed his eyes the moment he tucked the damp strands behind an ear. “I will never hurt you.”

 

Bagoas didn’t want to cry again. Why were his emotions so close to the surface? So overwhelming? He had never been this emotional before! “When I was in that brothel I never cried.”

 

Hephaestion nodded his head once and let his fingertips trail along Bagoas’ jaw line. “You had to be strong back then. You don’t have to be strong right now. I will catch you if you should fall. You are safe here.”

 

Tremors shook Bagoas’ frame and, unable to suppress his feelings any longer, more tears surfaced in the dark eyes. They slid down the soft cheeks and Hephaestion caught some of them on his fingertips. Bagoas wanted to be held, to be hugged, and Hephaestion seemed to understand that, for a moment later he found himself crushed to the older man’s chest and he rested his head on Hephaestion’s shoulder, weeping once more. “I don’t want to be like this!”

 

“I expected this,” Hephaestion admitted. “It is good to let it all out, Bagoas. It will help you heal.”

 

“Why do you still want me around when I can’t even let you fuck me? Why would you…?” Bagoas failed to finish his sentence as Hephaestion placed a finger beneath his chin, making him look into the azure eyes. “What is my use? My worth, when…”

 

“Don’t say it!” Hephaestion wanted to glare at Bagoas, but didn’t, not wanting to upset the younger man further. “I know they probably told you – and taught you – that all a man wants is to use your body. That isn’t true, Bagoas. You are precious to me and to Alexander for other reasons.” Bagoas momentarily stopped breathing and listened to every word he said. Hephaestion used that to his advantage. “You are a gentle, kind, and loving person, Bagoas. They lied when they told you that your only worth is in being on your back or on all fours. They used and manipulated you and, deep down inside of you, you know they lied. You are afraid, Bagoas, and even that is understandable. You are afraid to find that they wrecked so many years of your life when you could have spent them being loved instead.”

 

Bagoas drew in a shaky breath and searched Hephaestion’s eyes. They looked back at him with honesty and love, unbalancing him even further. “How can you still touch me knowing what they did to me?”

 

“Oh, Bagoas!” Hephaestion hugged Bagoas even closer, rocking him, and allowing the younger man to weep in his arms. “Give yourself time to allow the changes to take place in your life. You will understand eventually. Just accept that Alexander and I love you.”

 

“Hephaestion is right, you know.” Alexander, who had returned early because he had been worried about Bagoas, stood in the doorway and had overheard most of their conversation. Hearing Hephaestion speak had also shown Alexander the mistakes he had made in the past and he felt guilty for abusing Bagoas’ love for him. But, that was something he would address later, when Bagoas and he had some privacy.

 

Startled, Bagoas lifted his head from Hephaestion’s shoulder, and looked into Alexander’s worried eyes. “I didn’t want you to hear that.”

 

“But I did.” Alexander walked over to them and pulled up a chair close to Bagoas. Looking at Hephaestion holding Bagoas, he gave his lover a grateful look for being there for Bagoas when the younger man had needed the support the most. He gathered Bagoas’ hand in his and pressed a kiss onto the palm.

 

The sweet kiss briefly confused Bagoas, who stopped sobbing. “Why did you do that?”

 

Alexander repeated the loving gesture and also placed a kiss on the inside of Bagoas’ wrist. “I am not as wise as Hephaestion, Bagoas. I made my share of mistakes in the past and we will address them in due time – when you feel stronger and more balanced. But, I need to tell you – right here and now – that I will always be there for you. I will always be your friend and, if you desire so, your lover.” Alexander caught Hephaestion’s warning look and realized he had to pace himself. He was merely confusing Bagoas further. What if Bagoas thought his words implied he expected certain ‘services’ from the younger man? That had not been his intention. “I love you,” he added, smiling and twining his fingers around Bagoas’.

 

“You have our support and love,” Hephaestion added, seeing uncertainty in Bagoas’ eyes. “That does not mean you have to do anything against your will in order to keep them. Our love is unconditional.” The look Bagoas gave him convinced Hephaestion he had only managed to confuse the younger man further. Maybe he needed to be more direct, no matter how much he hated phrasing things so bluntly. “You don’t have to let us fuck you in order to have our love and support. You don’t have to ‘pay’ us in that way.” The way Bagoas had offered himself earlier was still vivid in his mind. “We love you for who you are.”

 

Bagoas frowned, deeply troubled. “But how can you love me for who I am when I don’t know who I am myself?”

Hephaestion had no answer to that question – no words what so ever – and did the only thing he could: he hugged Bagoas and gave Alexander a look that said, ‘Complete the embrace’.

 

Reading Hephaestion’s eyes correctly, Alexander wrapped his arms around them and held them close. His mind still reeled from what he had learned. How could he have been so arrogant in his first life? How could he not have noticed the pain Bagoas had been in? He had been an inattentive lover and was determined to do better this time around.

 

~~~

 

“Did you buy these clothes for me?” Bagoas frowned and looked questioningly at Alexander, who was in the process of placing jeans, sweaters, and shirts into the closet.

 

“We can’t have you walk around naked.” Alexander wiggled an eyebrow and, although he wasn’t certain how Bagoas would react to his teasing, he went ahead and said it anyway. “Although, I wouldn’t mind seeing you in the nude all day long.” To his surprise, Bagoas grew flustered, averted his gaze, and shuffled his feet. “Here, slip into these.” He handed Bagoas some faded jeans and a black shirt.

 

Bagoas bit his bottom lip. He didn’t know how to accept such generosity now that Alexander had made it clear that he didn’t expect anything in return. He actually felt guilty for being unable to show his thankfulness in *that* way; it was the only way he knew how to show his appreciation. “Thank you,” Bagoas mumbled instead, quickly slipping into the jeans and shirt. “They fit.”

 

Alexander gave Bagoas a pleased smile. He loved the way those faded jeans hugged Bagoas’ boyish form. He stopped himself from drooling before he could grow aroused and handed Bagoas a small package. “I bought you a present.”

 

Bagoas’ eyes revealed surprise. He was already grateful for the clothes and Alexander had bought him something else as well?

 

Alexander noticed the way Bagoas’ hands trembled when they removed the gift wrap around the box, but didn’t mention it and gave Bagoas all the time and space he needed to grow accustomed to his new life.

 

Bagoas swallowed hard, feeling strangely vulnerable in front of Alexander now that the other man was looking at him with expectation in his eyes. He finally did away with the wrapping paper and his lips curled into a smile. “Thank you.” He had opened the box and in it he found several vials filled with scented bath oils.

 

“You seemed fond of using them in the past.” Alexander gave Bagoas a smile. “I recall a time when you tried to make me smell of roses, daffodils, and all kind of flowers.”

 

“You didn’t particularly like that.” Bagoas, feeling touched and grateful, let his fingers slide down the glass vials.

 

“I hope you will enjoy their fragrances. Just don’t turn into a prune.” Alexander grinned.

 

Bagoas’ bottom lip trembled, unaccustomed as he was to receiving such attentive gifts. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

 

“Saying thank you is more than enough.” Alexander took a step forward and smiled warmly. “I wouldn’t mind a kiss though.”

 

Bagoas didn’t have to consider that request for long. He had never kissed his customers; that was something they hadn’t desired from him. They had wanted to feel his lips someplace else and kissing was still new to Bagoas. He leaned in closer and touched his lips to Alexander in a tentative kiss.

 

Alexander told himself not to act hastily or greedily and simply accepted the shy kiss Bagoas was giving him. He wrapped his arms around Bagoas the moment the younger man ended the kiss and rested his face against Bagoas’ chest. He swore he felt Bagoas’ heart beat race beneath his skin and he waited for the younger man to calm down again.

 

Looking up into the dark eyes, Alexander read surprise and insecurity in them. /He still thinks I will make him pleasure me./ Hephaestion’s words had been a revelation to him and had made him realize his past mistakes. Bagoas had been trained to pleasure him and he had never really considered the younger man’s feelings when Bagoas had served him. He had simply taken what the eunuch had offered back then. But things were different now.

 

“Do you feel up for a walk?” Alexander wrapped his fingers around Bagoas’ digits and took a step away from the younger man, returning his personal freedom to Bagoas.

 

Bagoas nodded his head once. Hephaestion chose that moment to enter his bedroom, accompanied by a tail-wagging Peritas.

 

“Are we ready to go?” Hephaestion inquired. He didn’t know what had happened just now, but saw the lingering confusion in Bagoas’ eyes. Had the younger just had another revelation?

 

“Yes, we are ready.” Alexander kept his fingers curled around Bagoas’ right hand and gently pulled him along.

 

Bagoas eagerly complied, looking forward to spending time with the two men who had upended his life.

 

~~~

 

They sat down in the shade of a large tree. Alexander played fetch with Peritas and the elderly dog did his best to return the piece of wood Alexander had thrown away. Hephaestion sat with his back against the tree and watched Bagoas closely as the younger man settled down beside him, always maintaining some distance.

 

Hephaestion didn’t pretend he knew the emotional turmoil Bagoas was in, for he could never understand the full extent of the younger man’s confusion, but still he tried. He had always been the more emphatic one and his empathy had allowed him to understand Alexander’s needs before his lover realized he had them himself. He now used that character trait to his advantage where Bagoas was concerned.

 

Bagoas sensed Hephaestion’s eyes upon him and wondered why the older man was looking at him. Looking into the large, blue eyes, something inside him softened and he gravitated toward Hephaestion, moving into the strong arms when they opened in welcome. He rested his upper body against Hephaestion and closed his eyes in bliss, enjoying the other man’s presence. The concept of not having to ‘pay them back’ for the tender, loving care they were bestowing on him took some time getting used to. He had always been around people who were looking for their personal profit. The idea that they loved him unconditionally was an alien notion and still confused him.

 

Alexander smiled, seeing Bagoas cuddle up to Hephaestion. In their first life, Bagoas had been drawn toward Alexander and had hated Hephaestion with a passion, but that had changed and Alexander understood only too well why Bagoas now favored Hephaestion. Hephaestion was the more social, more emphatic of the two of them and it was only natural that Bagoas felt safer with Hephaestion. He didn’t begrudge Bagoas his comfort and sprawled on the grass near their feet, enjoying the feeling of the warm sunbeams on his face. “Life is good.”

 

And for the first time in his life, Bagoas agreed. Yes, life *was* good.

 

~~~

 

That evening, Alexander decided to try some new recipes and prepared a voluptuous meal. Bagoas ate until he was stuffed and then shook his head at Alexander when the blond man tried to convince him to eat some ice cream as well. “I am about to explode.” He would grow fat if Alexander continued to cook like that! Unbidden, his old fear resurfaced, reminding him that eunuchs tended to grow fat and that he shouldn’t have indulged in that way. /Wait, I am not a eunuch anymore./ But that behavior had been a part of him for the largest section of his first life and wouldn’t completely leave him alone.

 

Grinning like a cat, Alexander proceeded to feed the ice cream to Hephaestion, who made quite a show of licking the spoon clean. Alexander’s grin faded and made way for a hungry expression with which he practically devoured his lover. “Must you tease me in that way?” He still hadn’t figured out how to behave around Bagoas as he didn’t want to embarrass the younger man.

 

Hephaestion, however, had very distinct ideas about acting out their need with Bagoas present. One of his first steps would be showing Bagoas that there would be no pressure on him to participate whatsoever. “My Alexander, do you like that?” His tongue slid against the metal, licking the spoon although no ice cream clung to it.

 

“Oh, the things you do to me.” Although he hadn’t wanted to grow aroused, Hephaestion’s little demonstration had made him hard with need and Alexander could think of nothing else except burying himself in his lover’s body.

 

Bagoas watched them with a mixture of bewilderment and amusement. He didn’t know what his role was supposed to be in their play and kept his distance, not wanting to make mistakes.

 

“Do you want me, my Alexander?” Hephaestion cocked his head and gave Alexander a wicked grin. “Are you thinking about taking me right here? Right now? Maybe bending me over the table? Or lowering me onto it on my back?” Hephaestion made a point of giving Bagoas one quick look and he smiled at the younger man, adding a wink to the mix.

 

Bagoas’ nerves calmed and he returned the smile. It appeared they didn’t require any of his services and that realization made him feel more at ease. He even grew curious, wondering how Alexander would take Hephaestion. He had seen them entangled once before and his groin tightened, thinking of them in that way.

 

Alexander suddenly hesitated and tried to look at Bagoas to find out how the younger man was reacting to his teasing, but Hephaestion’s hands settled on either side of his face and made certain his gaze remained trained on his lover’s face. Trusting Hephaestion’s judgment, he stopped trying to peek at Bagoas and searched the azure eyes, finding it hard to believe what he read in those pools of blue. “You want to do this now?” He hadn’t thought Hephaestion would want to do this in Bagoas’ presence. /Or does he think watching us will be a good thing for Bagoas? What does Hephaestion know that I don’t?/ Oh, he had given up on trying to understand Hephaestion’s motives for doing things *his* way a long time ago and simply accepted that his lover probably knew best what to do and what not to do.

 

“Lube, Alexander? Do you have any?” Hephaestion laughed, warmly, seeing Alexander blink. Dazed, the brown eyes searched the room and Alexander raced into the bathroom to get the lubricant. Hephaestion chose that moment to smile at Bagoas. “Don’t feel uncomfortable, Bagoas. I think you might learn a thing or two by watching us.”

 

“But I already know…” Bagoas stopped talking, realizing what Hephaestion was trying to tell him. He had wanted to tell Hephaestion that he knew all there was to know about sex, but then realized that Hephaestion wanted him to learn about making love instead. “I will watch,” he amended with a slight chuckle to his voice.

 

“Good.” Hephaestion rose from his chair and unzipped his jeans. “I want you to know that making love will make you feel good. This isn’t about pain, Bagoas.” He desperately wanted to prove that to the younger man, whose eyes were still haunted with painful memories. “Watch and learn.” Hephaestion had just stepped out of his jeans and underwear when Alexander appeared at his side again, proudly presenting the lubricant to him. Hephaestion fought the urge to laugh and pet Alexander’s head like he petted Peritas’ whenever the dog carried out an order.

 

Alexander grinned, sheepishly, seeing Hephaestion’s gaze drop to his groin. Sometime during his return back from the bathroom he had managed to unbutton his trousers and they now pooled around his feet.

 

“It is a miracle you didn’t trip, Alexander.” Hephaestion licked his lips, trying to get a reaction out of Alexander and he didn’t have to wait long.

 

“Stop teasing me, Hephaestion!” Now that passion had taken over, Alexander lost some of his self-consciousness and found it easier to react to Hephaestion while Bagoas was watching them with interest. He wanted to engage the younger man in their love making, but one look from Hephaestion told him not to try that. Hephaestion suddenly leaned in closer and Alexander’s skin tingled now that his lover’s breath caressed his throat.

 

“Be gentle with me, Alexander, but also firm. Bagoas needs to see you confident and able. In time, he will place his body and his trust in your hands, but first you need to prove yourself to him.” Hephaestion allowed Alexander to push his hands underneath his buttocks and trembled with desire feeling those strong hands squeeze his firm flesh.

 

Alexander attached his lips to Hephaestion’s throat and suckled the skin there. “Move a little to the right.”

 

Hephaestion complied and suddenly his world spun as Alexander lifted him in order to place him on the dinner table. Alexander eased him down onto his back and his legs traveled upward and came to rest on his lover’s shoulder. Hephaestion closed his eyes in bliss and quivered, feeling a slick finger tease against his opening. “Yes…” he purred, already raising his hips in welcome.

 

Bagoas could only stare at the wanton display of lust. Hephaestion seemed eager to receive Alexander and that fact stunned him. Whenever he had been on the bottom he had been in pain and he had never wanted to feel another man’s cock inside him. It simply hurt too much!

 

“Hephaestion, I…” Alexander panted rapidly. “I am not sure I can…” He needed to feel Hephaestion so badly and, although he had wanted to prepare his lover carefully, his need now overwhelmed him. He quickly coated his erection with the lubricant and pressed against the opening to his lover’s body. “Hephaestion, look at me.” He needed to see the need, passion, and rapture in those eyes!

 

Hephaestion’s gaze locked with Alexander’s and encountered raw need in the brown eyes, which simmered golden now that his lover was in the thralls of his lust. “Have me, my Alexander.” Hephaestion had also momentarily forgotten about Bagoas. His whole world existed of Alexander, his lover’s cock, and the feeling of being opened up.

 

Alexander sheathed himself in a firm stroke and threw back his head once Hephaestion’s tight glove wrapped around him. “No matter how many times I take you, you are always so tight, my love.” He placed his hands on Hephaestion’s thighs, enjoying the play of muscle and strength beneath his fingertips. Hephaestion’s breathing came in gasps and he could tell that his lover was already close to finding release. “Not yet, my love. Not yet.” Remaining motionless took most of his discipline, but he waited until he felt Hephaestion’s passage loosen around him. “Are you ready?”

 

Hephaestion bit down on his bottom lip, drawing a droplet of blood. “Always… Take me, my Alexander…”

 

Bagoas stared in bewilderment at Hephaestion, who met Alexander’s first thrust by raising his hips. Alexander was buried to the balls inside Hephaestion and Bagoas blinked, wondering why Hephaestion wasn’t crying out in pain. The only sounds that left Hephaestion’s lips were pleas for more and moans.

 

Alexander indulged his lover and took Hephaestion with deep, slow thrusts. He took his time making love to Hephaestion, enjoying seeing his lover at his mercy. With each thrust his love for Hephaestion grew and passion was driving him out of his mind. He wanted to possess as much of Hephaestion as he could and curled his fingers around his lover’s leaking shaft. Stroking the hard flesh, he pulled out completely and then thrust back inside, drilling himself into Hephaestion’s body. In the back of his mind he remembered Hephaestion telling him to make love gently, but lust and passion had taken over and he took Hephaestion with an insane need he had seldom felt before. He couldn’t remember ever possessing Hephaestion with such force before, but his lover gave as good as he got, meeting each thrust with one of his own.

 

Was Hephaestion such a good actor that he was able to play this part so convincingly? Bagoas felt confused; Hephaestion should be in unbearable pain, much like he had been when a customer had raped him, but the azure eyes glowed with warmth and love for Alexander.

 

Hephaestion, more sensing Bagoas’ confusion than anything else, turned his head and looked into the haunted, brown eyes. “Would you kiss me?” It was his first step to engaging Bagoas in their love play – a first and rather innocent step.

 

Bagoas had grown curious and leaned in closer to study Hephaestion’s body language. Hephaestion was hard and pre-ejaculate dripped from the head, making it easier for Alexander to stroke the hard flesh. “How can you enjoy this?”

 

Hephaestion groaned; one of Alexander’s thrust had forcefully hit his prostate and he trembled over his entire body as he fought reaching orgasm just yet, but the continuing pounding and rubbing of the sensitive gland was quickly pushing him toward his climax. “You have no idea…” He raised a hand and his fingers tangled in Bagoas’ hair. Bagoas’ lips now hovered close to his and he hungrily arched upward, catching them in a passionate kiss.

 

Seeing them kiss was too much for Alexander, who climaxed the moment their lips touched. He squeezed his lover’s thighs, buried himself as deep as he could, and released his seed deep inside Hephaestion’s body.

 

Hephaestion moaned pitifully, feeling Alexander’s release. “Please,” he whispered against Bagoas’ lips, but the plea wasn’t directed at Bagoas. It was meant for Alexander and his lover understood, increasing the speed and force of his strokes and bringing Hephaestion to orgasm by pumping his cock.

 

Hephaestion’s body tensed and he sucked on Bagoas’ tongue, experiencing one of the strongest orgasms in his life. He refused to let go of Bagoas’ lips just yet and kissed him passionately.

 

Alexander carried out a few more thrusts, but his member was already softening and he was forced to pull out. A sense of immense loss moved through him now that the connection between their bodies was severed, but he comforted himself with the thought that a part of him remained inside Hephaestion. His seed had found its way into Hephaestion and he had marked his lover in the most passionate way possible.

 

Hephaestion lay back, panting, and finally released Bagoas’ lips from his crushing kiss. For one moment, he entertained the thought of inviting Bagoas to take him as well, but the expression in the hooded, dark eyes told him it was much too soon to make such an offer. Bagoas wasn’t ready for something like that. “Did you enjoy watching us?” he asked instead, hoping to get a positive answer.

 

Bagoas exchanged a quick look with Alexander, who was in the process of guiding Hephaestion back onto his feet again. “I don’t know how to answer that one.”

 

“Then give it some thought while we shower.” Hephaestion pressed a playful kiss onto the tip of Bagoas’ nose and followed Alexander toward the bathroom. He hadn’t planned on ‘demonstrating making love’ in front of Bagoas, but the need to feel Alexander in that way had overwhelmed him – like it so often did. “I hope we didn’t shock him.”

 

Alexander turned on the shower and quickly shrugged off his shirt. He waited for Hephaestion to join him in the shower cabin and took hold of the soap. “Turn around,” he instructed and began to wash Hephaestion’s back. “Do you think I came on too strong? You asked me to be gentle and instead…”

 

Hephaestion turned around and looked admiringly at Alexander’s naked body. Droplets of water hugged the firm flesh and he willed himself not to grow aroused again. “I hope he understood why that happened. I hope he sensed our love.”

 

Alexander turned around and enjoyed having his back scrubbed by Hephaestion. The water washed away the last remnants of their lovemaking and his heart beat began to slow down. “I never thought he would be like this… Back then…”

 

“Back then he reacted to your touch because he was trained to do so. Alexander, this is the real Bagoas you are facing. Win his trust. You already have his love. Help him heal. He loves you best.” Hephaestion didn’t expect to see Alexander look at him from over his shoulder with such bemusement in his eyes. “What?”

 

“I have watched him, Hephaestion. He is also fond of you.” Alexander cocked his head, turned around, and let his fingers glide into the dark, auburn mane. “I think he is beginning to understand why I love you the way I do. He finally sees what a wonderful person you are and that is why I think it will be *you* who will help him heal.” Hephaestion’s gentle disposition, his loving nature, and the desire to care for Bagoas would eventually bridge the emotional distance. “And I don’t mind. I love seeing the two of you together.”

 

But Hephaestion remained unconvinced. “You are wrong, Alexander. He loves you, not me.”

 

Alexander remained silent. He had seen the expression in Bagoas’ eyes when the younger man had looked at Hephaestion. “We will find out,” he whispered, eventually.

 

~~~

 

Bagoas sat down on his chair again. His head spun with sensual images. Hephaestion had looked enraptured and had been eager to be on the receiving end. That fact mystified him; he had only known pain in the past.

 

Bagoas had much to think about.

 

~~~

 

That evening, Alexander convinced them to watch a movie and they settled down on the couch in front of the television. While the movie captivated Alexander’s attention, Bagoas’ thoughts were elsewhere. In sharp contrast with the last time they had sat on the couch, it was Hephaestion who had stretched out, resting his head in Bagoas’ lap. At first, Bagoas hadn’t known how to react, but it hadn’t taken him long to start stroking the auburn hair. Alexander had never been much of a mystery to him. Alexander had been the Great King, his leader and the man he loved. But Hephaestion was nothing like he had thought he was. He had misjudged the auburn-haired man in the past and was only now really getting to know him. Hephaestion’s actions, the man’s words, and eyes were getting to him. If he didn’t know any better, he would say he was falling in love with Hephaestion.

 

But that, of course, was nonsense. In his first life he had fallen in love with Alexander and in his second, he had never fallen in love in the first place. But, what then was the nature of these strange feelings which took possession of him whenever he looked into Hephaestion’s azure eyes? It couldn’t be love… It couldn’t be!

 

Part 3

 

Alexander watched Bagoas closely, keeping one eye on the movie and the other on the dark-haired man. Hephaestion had fallen asleep some time ago and Alexander smiled smugly at having exhausted his lover. Bagoas, however, didn’t look too awake either and so he suggested, “Why don’t you and Hephaestion turn in for the night? I will join you once the movie is done.” It was also his way of giving them some privacy, a moment alone to exchange thoughts or feelings if they desired so for he had figured out his role in this threesome. For now, he would keep his distance where Bagoas was concerned and allow Hephaestion to take the lead. His lover was much better suited to help Bagoas heal.

 

Alexander’s voice startled Bagoas, who had been focused on feeling Hephaestion’s hair between his fingertips. “What?”

 

“Come on, I will help you move him into bed.” Alexander was about to get up from his chair when Hephaestion stirred.

 

“I can walk, Alexander.”

 

“I thought you were asleep,” Alexander offered, apologetically.

 

“I was… Until you started to speak.” Hephaestion pushed himself into an upright position. His hooded eyes were unfocused and still heavily clouded with sleep. “Bed sounds perfect.”

 

Bagoas swallowed hard and gathered his courage. “Maybe I can help?” In his first life he had waited on Alexander and doing the same thing for Hephaestion seemed only appropriate.

 

“I would like that.” Hephaestion pushed himself to his feet and leaned against Bagoas who now stood beside him. Together, the two men started their way to the bedroom, but then Bagoas came to an abrupt stop.

 

“Which room?” Bagoas asked, feeling uncertain. Did Hephaestion want to sleep in the spare bedroom with him or in the bed he shared with Alexander?

 

Hephaestion sensed Bagoas’ insecurity, his hopes, and his doubts and steered the younger man into the room he shared with Alexander. “This is the biggest bed.”

 

Alexander, still seated, chuckled as he heard Hephaestion’s comment. He would watch the rest of the movie and, once there was no more noise coming from the bedroom, he would join them, protectively wrap himself around them, and watch them sleep.

 

~~~

 

Bagoas felt shy once more, watching Hephaestion struggle to remove the shirt and the jeans he was wearing. “Can I help?”

 

“Buttons are refusing to cooperate,” Hephaestion mumbled in a sleepy voice.

 

Bagoas’ fingers trembled unbuttoning the shirt and sliding the material down the muscular shoulders. Hephaestion’s bulky form should have intimidated him, but it didn’t. Instead, it reminded him of how safe he had felt being held close in those strong arms.

 

Hephaestion managed to step out of his jeans and fell backwards onto the bed. He rolled onto his side and then cast a fuzzy look at Bagoas. “Aren’t you going to join me?” His arms felt empty now that no one was in them.

 

Bagoas’ bottom lip trembled as he removed his jeans. He briefly considered also doing away with his T-shirt, but for some reason he didn’t want to feel that naked, that exposed, just yet. He slipped between the covers and straight into Hephaestion’s arms.

 

Even in his sleepy state Hephaestion felt that something was amiss, and when his fingers encountered fabric, he realized that Bagoas didn’t feel as comfortable as he had hoped the younger man would. But then again, the fact that Bagoas *was* snuggling up to him showed that the other man *did* trust him. That had to be enough.

 

“Sleep tight, Bagoas.” He pulled Bagoas even closer, wrapped his arms around the narrow waist and guided the dark head against a shoulder. “Love holding you…” Hephaestion whispered, already dozing off. Alexander had exhausted him, but it was a good kind of exhaustion and he gladly surrendered to the world of dreams.

 

Bagoas didn’t fall asleep that fast, that easily. His mind was still in turmoil. Two aspects of his being were in constant war with each other and while they fought, he couldn’t get any rest. There was the first Bagoas, the eunuch who had found some measure of delight and satisfaction in being first Darius and then Alexander’s favorite. This was the boy who had learned how to please his owner and who even took some pride in making them climax. This boy had shoved his pain into the back of his mind, never allowing it to surface. And then there was the present Bagoas, a young man who had been hurt countless times, been raped, and who feared intimate contact. This Bagoas was terrified of being touched, of being taken.

 

These two aspects of his personality were at war with each other and the first Bagoas was screaming inside his head to finally start acting his part and take pride in being Alexander’s whore and now maybe even Hephaestion’s.

 

/But I want more!/ screamed the second Bagoas. /I want to be loved! I am more than just a body! Hephaestion said so!/

 

/You know what you are!/ the first Bagoas replied in a venomous voice. /You are a whore, their whore!/

 

/But I don’t want to be a whore! Hephaestion said that…/

 

/Hephaestion spoke out of pity! Why do you think they are keeping you around? In the end, they will possess you! Why not use that knowledge to your advantage and seduce them? Start with Hephaestion! He is easiest to seduce as he has never been inside of you. You know he wants you!/

 

“Stop it!” Bagoas’ face contorted and tears left his eyes. He couldn’t take any more of the screaming! Why couldn’t they leave him alone?

 

Alexander, who had heard Bagoas call out, stepped into the bedroom. At first, he thought Hephaestion had everything covered as his lover was holding Bagoas, but then he realized that Hephaestion was sound asleep and hadn’t heard Bagoas’ cry. Oh, he wasn’t the right person to deal with an emotional outburst! At times, Alexander felt emotionally handicapped himself and it was only due to Hephaestion’s loving nature that he had managed to deal with his own shortcomings. But Hephaestion was asleep and didn’t appear to be waking up shortly. So, Alexander drew in a deep breath and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the side. His large hand came to rest on Bagoas’ back and he rubbed the tense muscles, drawing soothing circles on the skin. “Did you have a bad dream, Bagoas?”

Bagoas trembled. He hadn’t expected Alexander to seek him out in order to talk to him. “It is nothing.” The touch slightly unnerved him as he couldn’t see Alexander. His back was toward the blond man and he had no way of knowing what Alexander intended to do next. He remembered being in similar situations before – men had approached him from behind and had then taken him. They had raped him and the pain had been excruciating. Merely remembering the agony he had been in back then made him tremble now.

 

Alexander blinked. “I don’t believe you.” Bagoas’ voice had possessed an uncanny edge, worrying him further. “Can you turn onto your other side? I would like to see your face when I am talking to you.” Feeling Bagoas tremble beneath his touch, he was tempted to stop the caress, but at the same time he didn’t want to give in to Bagoas’ fears. The younger man had to be shown that he could trust them and Alexander couldn’t prove himself if he constantly avoided dealing with Bagoas’ issues.

 

Bagoas drew in a deep breath. He really didn’t want to do this, but a part of him, the older part of him, couldn’t simply dismiss his King’s order and so he turned in Hephaestion’s embrace until he finally faced Alexander. “It is nothing,” he repeated, eager to convince Alexander to leave. Alexander had stopped rubbing his back, but the fingers returned to caress his face. The touch made him shiver, but not out of fear. He remembered nights, many centuries ago, when Alexander had also caressed his face and had held him through the night.

 

Alexander had always been good to him. The Great King had never forced him to do anything against his will, but then again, he had been taught to anticipate his master’s needs and had always read them from Alexander’s eyes and carried them out. Alexander had never had to force him as he had pleasured him out of his own free will.

 

“I still don’t believe that.” Alexander took to stroking Bagoas’ hair, mirroring a caress he had seen Hephaestion bestow on the younger man. “You can always talk to me.”

 

“No, I can’t… You are… You are the King.” Bagoas flinched, seeing the pained expression in Alexander’s eyes. At the moment, the old Bagoas was the strongest personality and he lowered his gaze, recalling how inappropriate it was to look directly at his master.

 

“The past haunts you. I see it in your eyes. Do you want to talk to me about it?” Making this offer was a huge step for Alexander who, at times, didn’t even know how to deal with his own emotions. Hephaestion had always been the stabilizing factor in his life. Hephaestion had always known how to handle his emotions and had guided him. This was new territory to Alexander and he felt nervous, trying to confront Bagoas’ fears. He hoped he didn’t accidentally make things worse. “I can listen.”

 

Bagoas’ trembling intensified and he continued to avoid looking at Alexander. “I would rather not talk to you.” Hearing Alexander’s sigh made him feel guilty and he met Alexander’s gaze after all. “It has nothing to do with you. I just can’t discuss this right now.”

 

Alexander accepted Bagoas’ decision; what else could he do? He didn’t want to force the younger man in to anything. “Would you like for me to join you in bed? I would like to hold you.” He wouldn’t proceed without Bagoas’ permission. Bagoas unexpectedly gave him a weak smile and seeing the affection in the dark eyes warmed his heart. “You still love me a little bit, don’t you?” Alexander pushed down the covers and slipped into bed fully dressed. He draped one arm across Bagoas’ waist and his fingers made contact with Hephaestion’s hip.

 

“I do.” Bagoas had grown flustered, hearing Alexander’s question. “I love you, Alexander.” His eyes widened now that Alexander softly chuckled. What had he done?

 

“I always loved the way you would say my name: Al’skander.” Alexander smiled warmly at Bagoas. “I don’t know how you feel about the past, but I always loved you, Bagoas. I loved you in my very own way. I still do.”

 

Bagoas loved hearing those words. “I did wonder…” he admitted in a soft voice. He wanted to say more, but Alexander silenced him with a chaste kiss.

 

“You should sleep now, Bagoas. I just want you to know that I will listen when you are ready to discuss whatever it is that haunts you.” He was convinced that some of the things that bothered Bagoas were directly linked to his behavior in the past. “But we don’t want to wake up Hephaestion and should sleep now.”

 

Bagoas carefully rested his head against Alexander’s shoulder and sighed, deeply. Alexander’s fingers twined with his and he felt at ease and safe with Hephaestion spooned behind him and Alexander up front. Nothing bad, nothing evil, could get to him now and his eyes began to close as he dozed off.

 

“You did well, my Alexander.”

 

Alexander blinked. Hephaestion had opened his eyes and his lover was now looking at him. After convincing himself that Bagoas was sound asleep, Alexander replied, “I thought you were asleep.”

 

“I was, but your conversation woke me. You handled that situation well.”

 

Alexander beamed, hearing the approval in Hephaestion’s voice. “I am not good at talking. You know that.”

 

Hephaestion moved a little closer and completed the embrace Alexander had started. “Bagoas is changing, Alexander, and so are you. We are not the people we used to be in the past and most of these changes are for the better, don’t you think so?”

“You have changed as well,” said Alexander, musing aloud. “You have become more confident, less… passive. You take the lead nowadays and you would never have done so in the past.”

 

“Our situation was different back then, my Alexander. You were the Great King and I… I was just your lover.”

 

Alexander hated hearing Hephaestion putting himself down like that. “I thought we had already discussed this?” But then he remembered Hephaestion’s words. His lover had told him that he just needed to hear him say the words once in a while. “Hephaestion, you mean the world to me. You are the very reason I succeeded and became King of Asia. Maybe I should write a book and tell the truth where you are concerned. Some scholars might learn a thing or two.”

 

Hephaestion chuckled. “You? Write a book? Oh, Alexander, you don’t have the patience for that!”

 

“I could make it into a novel, describe our romance…”

 

Hephaestion’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t!”

 

“I could tell them in detail how I first claimed you, Hephaestion.” Oh, he had to stop this! He was growing hard and he didn’t want to spook Bagoas, should the younger man wake up and feel his arousal. “I like the idea of writing a book and dedicating it to you, Hephaestion.” The look Hephaestion gave him was absolutely comical and Alexander fought the urge to burst out in laughter. “Be honest and tell me you like my idea.”

 

“Your idea frightens me,” Hephaestion replied, returning the teasing. “I don’t want to know what you will write about me!”

 

“I will make you a deal.” Alexander’s lips brushed Bagoas’ brow in something that resembled a kiss, soothing the younger man when he whimpered in his sleep. The nightmare seemed to disappear and Bagoas grew calm once more. “I will let you read the draft before I send it to a publisher.”

 

Hephaestion didn’t quite know what to make of Alexander’s mood and decided that trying to figure his lover out wasn’t worth losing sleep over. Alexander could be unpredictable at times. “I guess it is okay as long as you let me read it first.”

 

Alexander’s eyes sparkled mischievously. “Great, it is a deal then!”

 

Hephaestion couldn’t help but worry about Alexander’s newest enterprise.

 

~~~

 

The next morning found Bagoas outside, seated on the grass, and befriending Peritas. The dog had been trying to get his attention and Bagoas had eventually relented. In his first life he had avoided dealing with Peritas as the dog always favored Hephaestion and Bagoas had transferred some of his hatred for Hephaestion onto the canine. He was trying to make amends right now, offering Peritas a snack, which the dog greedily accepted and devoured. “You like that, don’t you?” He carefully rubbed behind one of Peritas’ ears, still trying to grow used to the idea that everything was different now.

 

They had eaten breakfast and after that, Hephaestion had excused himself, declaring he wanted to work on his book concerning Aristotle’s teachings. That announcement had stunned both Bagoas and Alexander and they had given each other a questioning look. In the end, Alexander had suggested going outside and playing with the dog.

 

Alexander now sat down next to Bagoas and offered Peritas a squeaky toy. The dog, delighted with the toy, buried his teeth in it, producing a most appalling sound and making both men cringe.

 

Bagoas peeked at Alexander and wondered what to say.

 

Alexander peeked at Bagoas and thought exactly the same thing. He knew Hephaestion good enough to realize that his lover wanted him to talk to Bagoas and to spend time with the younger man, but Alexander still felt somewhat awkward around Bagoas. “Would you like to go for a ride? Or are your ribs still bothering you?”

 

Bagoas blinked once. “A ride?”

 

“Yes, Boukephalos needs the exercise and he can easily carry the two of us. We don’t have to go, if you prefer to rest. In that case we will just stay here and pester Hephaestion.”

 

A smile curled the corners of Bagoas’ lips. “We shouldn’t pester him.”

 

“You didn’t answer my question. Are your ribs still hindering you?”

 

Bagoas shook his head once. “Barely.” Bagoas moistened his lips and fidgeted with his sleeve, revealing his nervousness. The clothes which Alexander had bought for him were a perfect fit. He had tried thanking Alexander a second time, but the blond man had simply waved his words away.

 

“Boukephalos won’t throw you off, if that is what you are worried about.” Alexander got to his feet and extended his arm, offering Bagoas to pull him to his feet.

 

Resting his hand in Alexander’s was evidence of the trust Bagoas placed in the other man. He allowed Alexander to pull him to his feet and stood in front of him with his head bowed. “I have never ridden Boukephalos before. How can you be sure he will accept me onto his back?”

 

“I just know he will.” Alexander refused to let go of Bagoas’ hand now that he had a hold on the fingers and gently pulled the younger man toward the meadow Boukephalos was grazing in. “It is a nice day, and now that Hephaestion has deserted us, I shall keep you company instead.” Alexander opened the gate and pulled Bagoas along. Boukephalos, seeing his chance to get some exercise, approached and buried his warm nose in Alexander’s shirt. “Boukephalos, do you remember Bagoas?”

 

The horse’s ears stood upright, taking in the name and his nostrils trembled, smelling a familiar scent. Yes, he vaguely remembered the other man.

 

“We are going to take you for a ride,” Alexander whispered into Boukephalos’ ear. “Bagoas and I.” Alexander’s gaze traveled from the horse to Bagoas. “Can you get onto his back yourself or do you need my help?”

 

“I think I can manage.” Bagoas twined his fingers with the horse’s raven mane and pulled himself onto the broad back. He smiled, pleased that he had managed to do so without Alexander’s assistance.

 

Alexander grinned and swung onto the stallion’s back, seating himself behind Bagoas. He wrapped one arm around the younger man’s waist to make certain Bagoas wouldn’t fall off and pressed his heels into Boukephalos’ sides, guiding the horse toward the open gate.

 

Bagoas began to feel giddy, seated high upon Boukephalos’ back. He had ridden horses in his first life and had always loved the feeling of freedom that came over him high up on a horse’s back. Until now, he hadn’t realized how much he had missed riding. Boukephalos suddenly sped up and Bagoas wrapped the long hair of the stallion’s mane around his fingers. That way he continued to be slightly grounded. Alexander also tightened his hold on him and Bagoas relaxed, enjoying the ride.

 

Alexander smiled now that the tension was leaving Bagoas’ form. The younger man rested his back against him and relaxed. /Maybe I am better at this than I thought!/ But he knew the hardest part was yet to come. He had to apologize to Bagoas for the way he had acted in the past and there were two other things they needed to discuss. He wanted to know what had happened to Bagoas after his death and what the younger man’s feelings were concerning Hephaestion. Their upcoming conversation wouldn’t be easy on either of them and Alexander mentally prepared himself for whatever was to come.

 

~~~

 

“This is a nice place…” Alexander let his voice drift off, drawing Bagoas’ attention. The younger man had become lost in thought and had started to lean heavier against him. “You are not asleep, are you?” Alexander told Boukephalos to stop and tried to peek at Bagoas’ face. Yes, the eyes were only half-open.

 

“Not yet.” Bagoas drew in a deep breath and forced himself away from his daydreams which had oddly enough featured Hephaestion instead of Alexander.

 

“I am going to put you back onto your feet. Hold on.” Alexander easily slid off of the stallion’s back, wrapped his hands around Bagoas’ waist, lifted him, and put him onto his feet, just like he had promised. Boukephalos took to grazing and Alexander guided Bagoas toward a little stream. He sat down, removed shoes and socks and let his feet dangle in the cool water. “Join me, Bagoas.”

 

Bagoas swallowed hard. The tone Alexander had used reminded him of the time when his King would issue an order and expect him to follow. He obeyed now as well and immersed his feet in the water as well. He had to admit that Alexander’s idea worked well; the cool water felt refreshing.

 

“I took you here for a reason,” Alexander started, staring at their reflection in the water. “I want to talk to you.”

 

Bagoas grew nervous and wondered what was on Alexander’s mind. He recalled their brief conversation last night and hoped Alexander wasn’t going to make him address his past again. “What about?”

 

Alexander felt nervous himself and it took most of his courage to look at Bagoas. But the younger man was looking away and seemed determined not to meet his gaze. “Bagoas? Look at me?” He was careful not to make it sound like an order. He wanted Bagoas to look at him out of his own accord and yes, the dark eyes hesitantly met his. “I want to apologize to you, Bagoas. Looking back at how I treated you I realize I didn’t treat you like you deserved to be treated. I took what you offered instead of asking myself why you were eager to serve me.”

 

“Don’t. Don’t say such a thing!”

 

Bagoas’ eyes simmered; a dark flame burned in them and its fire surprised Alexander. He didn’t expect to see it there, not when Bagoas had acted so docile.

 

“Alexander, I… I loved you back then. I still do, though the nature of that love has somewhat changed. When you were the Great King, I felt honored to serve you and I fell in love with you because of your character, your passion, and your dedication to your cause. Serving you in that way was never a chore, never a burden.”

 

Alexander reached for Bagoas’ hand and he squeezed the fingers, which were long and small compared to his. “Still, what I did was wrong on several levels. By loving you I betrayed Hephaestion.”

 

The fire instantly died in Bagoas’ eyes and tears now glistered there instead.

 

“No!” Alexander quickly shook his head, appalled that Bagoas had reached the wrong conclusion so quickly. “That was my mistake, not yours!”

 

Bagoas shrugged once. “Alexander, I…” Lost for words, he simply stared at their twined fingers and returned the squeeze. “Please don’t feel guilty for loving me. I would not have survived without your love.”

 

Alexander’s breathing hitched, realizing his chance. “Bagoas, I always wanted to ask you… What happened after I died? I should have made arrangements for you, but I lost my mind and didn’t think rationally toward the end.”

 

Bagoas wasn’t certain just how Alexander would take his next words. “Several of your Companions offered to look after me. Ptolemy, Parmenion, and Crateros offered to keep me with them. I never realized that they saw me as a part of the army. The fact that you always remained fond of me and kept me at your side had gained me their respect and after your death they all offered to keep me under their wing.”

 

Alexander felt relieved. “I always thought they liked you. I still remember them cheering you on when you danced for me.”

 

“Yes, realizing the fact that they respected me surprised me too.” Bagoas wished he knew of a way to soften the blow he was about to deliver to Alexander. “But I didn’t accept their offers and…”

 

Dread filled Alexander’s heart, sensing Bagoas’ unease. “Why did you stop speaking?”

 

“I followed you into death.” Bagoas felt Alexander’s fingers tighten around his and he quickly looked up, only to see shock in the brown eyes. “I had lost my reason to live. I felt the same way you must have after Hephaestion died.”

 

“What did you do?” Alexander’s heart contracted painfully, realizing he had pulled Bagoas into death with him, although unintended, but he had still signed Bagoas’ death warrant in a certain way.

 

“I turned to poison to end my life.” Bagoas shrugged his shoulders once. “My death was quick.” Bagoas didn’t expect Alexander to fling himself at him and the next moment he was buried in a surprisingly tight hug. “Alexander…”

 

“I had hoped you had found love again in that life time, Bagoas. I acted so selfishly, taking my own life. I never realized the effect it would have on you. I didn’t think!”

 

“Alexander…” Bagoas shyly wrapped his arms around Alexander in turn and hugged him close. “You are not responsible for my actions. I chose death over an empty life. Something tells me you understand that.”

 

Alexander pulled back far enough to look Bagoas in the eyes. “I do.”

 

Bagoas managed a weak smile. “I wasn’t strong back then. I was weak. I couldn’t live without you. Everywhere I looked I saw Hephaestion’s face and the statues seemed to mock me.”

 

Alexander nodded his head once; this was the perfect moment to bring up Hephaestion. “You hated him back then. Do you still?” He loosened his hold, giving Bagoas the opportunity to move out of his arms if the younger man desired so.

 

Bagoas’ unease reappeared now that Alexander was bringing up Hephaestion. He had hoped Alexander would not discuss this with him. “You are right. I no longer hate him.” Hopefully Alexander would be content with that answer and not pressure on for more.

 

“Do you like him then?” Alexander stroked Bagoas’ hair, trying to reassure the younger man. But Bagoas grew rigid in his arms and the eyes… those dark eyes revealed something akin to fear. Seeing that fear made him concerned and he spoke again. “Bagoas, there is no right or wrong answer. I won’t be angry with you, no matter what you feel for Hephaestion. All I am asking is that you are honest. Tell me the truth. Do you like Hephaestion?” He already knew the answer to that one, but needed to hear it. Only then could he steer Bagoas in the right direction.

 

“What if I like him?” Bagoas lowered his gaze, unable to look Alexander in the eyes any longer. He had drawn his own conclusions where Hephaestion was concerned and had realized with a shock that he *was* in love with the auburn-haired man. But he couldn’t tell Alexander that. Hephaestion and Alexander belonged together and he already felt bad for getting between them.

 

“If you did, you would make me very happy.” Alexander placed a finger beneath Bagoas’ chin and tilted the head until the younger man had to make eye contact with him. “Hephaestion is easy to love, isn’t he?” The fact that Bagoas grew flustered only confirmed his thoughts. “It is more than ‘like’ him, isn’t it? You are falling in love with him.”

 

Bagoas’ eyes widened in terror and he tried to free himself of Alexander’s embrace so he could get back to his feet and run. “How do you know…?” He had so hoped no one had noticed his deepening affection for Hephaestion. “I am sorry,” he whispered now that Alexander refused to release him. He felt trapped and, even worse, he felt guilty. “I never wanted to fall in love with him. I always thought I couldn’t love… Not after what was done to me.”

 

“I am not angry with you,” Alexander said, trying to sooth a startled Bagoas. “I hoped this would happen.”

 

“You hoped I would fall in love with him?” Dazed, Bagoas stared at Alexander. “I don’t understand!”

 

“Hephaestion is a wonderful person, Bagoas, and I am happy that you are in love with him. You have so much healing to do and love is the only remedy that can heal your wounds.” Alexander hated the way Bagoas trembled in his embrace, but he wasn’t prepared to give in to the younger man’s terror and to let him go. “And Hephaestion has always been fond of you. Perfect, isn’t it?”

 

That last statement only increased Bagoas’ confusion and guilt. “I don’t understand how you can approve! Hephaestion is *your* lover! How can you welcome the fact that I love him too?” He ignored Alexander’s remark that Hephaestion loved him in turn. He wasn’t ready yet to deal with that.

 

“I approve because I am secure in my love for Hephaestion. I know he loves me and I love him. We are one soul, Bagoas. I tried to explain this to you before. Making love to me means you are making love to Hephaestion and making love to Hephaestion equals making love to me. Don’t you see that we have finally come full circle?”

Bagoas’ eyes searched Alexander’s, trying to determine the other man’s real feelings. “I can’t believe you welcome this.”

 

“Oh, Bagoas, when will you finally understand that this is meant to be?” Alexander forcefully pulled Bagoas close and crushed him against his chest. “I want you to be happy. I want you to heal. I won’t repeat the mistakes I made over two thousand years ago. I finally *see* how it is supposed to be. Bagoas, if you love Hephaestion, tell him. Trust me when I say that he already loves you back. Allow him to heal your wounds. You have no idea how powerful his love is. He kept me from going insane for most of my life.”

 

Bagoas listened to Alexander’s rambling, feeling off balance. “But what about you?” Even if he did as Alexander was asking him to, the blond man would feel left out.

 

A smile appeared on Alexander’s face, as he pulled back and made eye contact with Bagoas. “I love watching the two of you together, Bagoas. And who knows… maybe in time it will be the three of us?”

 

“Would you like that?” His member had hardened when Alexander had expressed that desire. “Do you want it to be the three of us?”

 

“Eventually, yes. But not yet. First, you need to bask in Hephaestion’s love and grow strong again. Don’t worry. I will always be there for you. If you need me, you will find me close.” Alexander kissed Bagoas’ lips and smiled, hearing the other man whimper. “It was always supposed to be like this, Bagoas. Allow for this to happen. Accept Hephaestion’s love. You already have mine and you will never lose it. You can only win, Bagoas.”

 

“I am not so sure about that…”

 

“Bagoas, stop doubting yourself! Trust me.” Alexander attempted to change Bagoas’ mind one last time by saying, “Let Hephaestion love you and love him in turn. And once the time is ripe, I will join the two of you. We will be happy. Trust me, I know we will.”

 

Bagoas still wasn’t convinced, but the idea of exploring his feelings for Hephaestion and being loved by the auburn-haired man was oh so tempting. “Are you certain you don’t mind? That you won’t grow jealous? I won’t do anything that will make you angry with him.”

 

“I am sure.” Alexander continued to smile at Bagoas. “Love him, Bagoas, and let his love heal you.”

 

 

Part 4

 

Hephaestion noticed that something had changed when Bagoas walked up to him. After typing away at his laptop, he had taken some time to prepare a refreshing salad, figuring Alexander and Bagoas would be hungry upon their return. “Where is Alexander?” he asked, trying to get a conversation going.

 

“He decided to go for a long walk along the beach.” Bagoas sat down at the kitchen table, trying to sort out his thoughts and emotions. The fact that Alexander had actually encouraged him to deepen his relationship with Hephaestion still stunned him.

 

“Here, eat something.” Hephaestion handed Bagoas a fork, sat down opposite the younger man, and began eating. “I hope you like the salad.” He had tried to give it a Greek twist, adding olives, feta, and herbs.

 

Bagoas took a bite and nodded his head once. “It is very tasty. “ Although he wasn’t hungry – his stomach was too knotted to enjoy the food – he forced a few more bites down, just to show Hephaestion that he did like the salad. “Alexander and I talked,” he said a few minutes later, placing his fork back onto the kitchen table.

 

Hephaestion remained patient, sensing something extra-ordinary had happened to Bagoas and he gave the younger man the time he needed to figure out what to say and how to say it. In the meantime, he dug into the salad.

 

“I told him what happened to me after he died.” Bagoas didn’t really want to do this, but realized Hephaestion also needed to know if they were to build a solid relationship. “I died shortly after he did. I took my life.”

 

Hephaestion’s fork fell onto the table with a thud. “You did what?” He couldn’t believe Bagoas had done such a thing!

 

“I had lost Alexander.” Bagoas shrugged and cautiously met Hephaestion’s gaze, cringing at the horror he saw in the blue depths. “What was I supposed to do? I was nothing without him.”

 

“And you told Alexander this?”

 

“I did and he understood.” Bagoas offered Hephaestion an apologetic smile. “He took his life for the same reason. He missed you. He couldn’t live without you.”

 

Hephaestion needed a moment to accept this news and composed himself. “I am sorry I died. If I hadn’t fallen ill…” But Bagoas’ eyes silenced him and Hephaestion was surprised at the strength mirrored in those brown orbs.

 

“No one is to blame for what happened.” Bagoas gave Hephaestion a firm look. “You were right, Hephaestion. We need to stop looking at the past and focus on the present, maybe even the future.” Bagoas’ fingers snaked across the table and they shook when he placed his hand atop of Hephaestion’s. “He also made me confess my feelings for you.”

 

“Your feelings for me?” Hephaestion blinked in surprise. Alexander had hinted that Bagoas had grown fond of him that evening in the shower, but he had dismissed the idea. Bagoas had always loved Alexander best.

 

“I felt uncomfortable telling Alexander and I feel nervous now as well.” Bagoas lowered his gaze and stared at their hands. “I don’t know when it happened, or why, but I am in love with you. No, please let me finish now that I still have the courage to do so.” Hephaestion had wanted to interrupt him and Bagoas now gave the older man a pleading look. “Let me say this.”

 

Hephaestion didn’t know what to think of this development. He had never thought Bagoas would fall in love with him. He had hoped for friendship, maybe even something more, some attraction, but not love.

 

“You are gentle, caring and… you supported me although you didn’t have to. I realized that I was jealous for no reason at all and that I wronged you in the past. I always thought of you as the possessive one, someone who kept Alexander away from me, but I now understand that it was the other way around. I was trying to possess Alexander and to keep him away from you.” Bagoas gently rubbed Hephaestion’s fingers, feeling encouraged now that the older man hadn’t pulled his hand away. “Maybe it happened the other day when you touched me so intimately. The way you kissed me… down there,” he paused, blushing and unable to find the right words. “The words you said to me, the things you did… I think I fell for you that moment.”

 

Hephaestion’s mouth had gone dry and a lump of emotions had formed in the back of his throat. “Bagoas, I don’t know what to say. I never expected to hear this from you.”

 

“Alexander said… He said that you care for me and that… that I should love you and… that your love would heal me… but I am afraid, Hephaestion. Is Alexander right? Do you care about me in that way? Do you really love me?”

 

Hephaestion’s empathy kicked in, guiding him, and he gently squeezed Bagoas’ fingers. “I already told you that I love you, didn’t I? Bagoas, I always hoped that you would one day return my feelings, but I never dared to hope so. I understand the fragile trust that you are placing in my hands and I won’t betray it. I will help you heal the best way I can.” Leaning in closer, he slid the fingers of his other hand into Bagoas’ raven mane. “We will take things slowly, yes?” He didn’t want to overwhelm or pressure Bagoas in any way.

 

“There is something else I want you to know…” Bagoas’ nervousness increased. “I don’t think I can be on the bottom, if you decide to… you know to have… sex… with me… I still have nightmares about that and certain touches make me panic… I freeze and…” Just remembering the agony he had been in made him want to throw up. His stomach turned and startled, he looked to Hephaestion for help.

 

Hephaestion acted instantly. He grabbed hold of Bagoas and helped him lean over the sink. The few bites of salad reappeared and Bagoas struggled to get his emotions back under control, but the heaves continued until he had completely cleared the contents of his stomach. “Don’t fight it,” Hephaestion advised, brushing Bagoas’ hair out of the way. With his other hand he reached for a wash cloth, wetted it, and pressed it against Bagoas’ heated brow. “You are trying to take on too much in too short a time. Don’t force it.”

 

Bagoas rode out the rest of the dry heaves and leaned heavily against Hephaestion. He felt disgusted with himself for being unable to control his emotions. Thinking about the rapes he had suffered had made him feel queasy and his stomach had reacted, making him throw up. “I am sorry,” he whispered in a raw voice.

 

“There is no reason to be sorry. You couldn’t help it.” Hephaestion handed Bagoas the bottle of mouth wash and told him to rinse. “You can brush your teeth when you feel a bit more settled.”

 

Bagoas rinsed his mouth and failed to stop the tears from flowing from his eyes. Hephaestion hadn’t let him down. The other man had supported him and hadn’t turned away when he had emptied his stomach. That made him hope that Hephaestion’s love was for real. “I feel dizzy.”

 

“You should recline.” Hephaestion slowly lifted Bagoas in his arms and carried him over to the couch. “Why don’t you rest for a little while? I will stay close.” He would clean up the mess in the kitchen and then return to keep Bagoas company.

 

“Don’t leave! Please don’t!” Bagoas was close to panicking and he grabbed hold of Hephaestion’s right hand. “Please stay,” he said in a pleading voice.

 

“I will have to clean up in a sec, but I can stay a moment longer.” Hephaestion seated himself on the couch next to Bagoas and soothingly stroked the dark head. “That was hard on you, wasn’t it? Telling me about your fears?”

 

Bagoas’ stomach did another somersault, but as it was already empty, nothing else happened. “I always was in so much pain… I can’t bear the thought of ever having someone inside me again… Do you still love me or…?”

 

“Do you remember the time you offered yourself to me? What did I tell you back then?” Hephaestion moved the cool wash cloth against Bagoas’ heated brow and smiled ruefully at him.

 

The memory Hephaestion’s words evoked calmed Bagoas. “You refused me and you told me that you wanted my love, not my body.”

 

“And you told me that you wanted to feel good. Bagoas, there are so many ways to make you feel good that don’t entail penetration. You are safe with me. I will never take what you aren’t willing to give.”

 

Bagoas held his breath, feeling Hephaestion kiss his brow. “That is gross… I just threw up and I feel hot.”

 

Hephaestion cocked his head and the smile stayed on his face. “You need some rest. These last few days have been extremely stressful for you.”

 

“Thank you,” Bagoas whispered, losing the fight against his fatigue. Emotionally he was a wreck and he felt drained. Rest was exactly what he needed right now. “Stay with me until I am asleep?”

“I am here,” Hephaestion replied, holding Bagoas’ hand. “I am not leaving.” He watched Bagoas surrender to sleep and fought back his own tears. “At least you are beginning to trust me.” Entrusting his fears to him had been an important step. “I will never betray your trust.” He vowed to never hurt Bagoas and to put the younger man’s needs first as long as Bagoas was recovering.

 

~~~

 

Alexander frowned, finding Hephaestion on the couch with Bagoas’ head once more resting in his lap. Bagoas looked pale, too pale, and he didn’t remember the younger man looking like that when they had parted. “What has happened here?” He sat down on a comfortable chair and cringed, seeing the worried expression in Hephaestion’s clouded eyes.

 

“Bagoas told me about your conversation.”

 

“And that caused him to have a breakdown? Because that is how he looks!” Alexander tried to keep his voice down, but seeing Bagoas so pale, so lost, unnerved him. “I thought we had talked everything out.”

 

“You did. That is why he came to me and confided his worst fear to me.” Hephaestion kept up the soothing stroking of Bagoas’ hair. “Alexander, he told me that he can’t be on the receiving end and it was that confession that made him hurl.”

 

Alexander had calmed down and met Hephaestion’s caring eyes. “I figured as much. How do you plan on handling him? I saw him become aroused when I took you yesterday and yet he doesn’t want to act on his feelings.”

 

“He entrusted himself to me a few days ago and I brought him to orgasm. He looked at me with such guilty eyes afterwards… Alexander, what Bagoas needs right now is love and support, not lust or desire. He needs to be reassured that he is valuable as a person and that we love him for who he is. We might have to say it more than once.”

 

“Just like you need to hear how much you mean to me once in a while.” Alexander wondered just how many mistakes he had made in the past, realizing Hephaestion’s former low self-worth had partly been his doing as well. And it now seemed he had made the same mistake with Bagoas.

 

Hephaestion’s smile was incredibly soft when he looked at Alexander. “Yes, just like that.”

 

“Tell me how I should act around him. Now that he has admitted he has feelings for you I don’t want to make another mistake. What do I do?”

 

“You continue to do what you have done so far. You will be there for him. You support him, listen to him, and you offer to talk to him. You are doing well, Alexander. You have changed too.” Hephaestion wanted to hug Alexander close, but couldn’t because he didn’t want to wake Bagoas. “Don’t approach him in a sexual way; let me handle that.”

 

Alexander nodded. “I know that you will help him heal; that is why I encouraged Bagoas to tell you that he has fallen in love with you.”

 

“That he has fallen for me surprises me. I didn’t think he would.”

 

“How could he not fall in love with you now that he has set aside his hatred?” Alexander gave Hephaestion an adoring look. “I just wished he had realized how unnecessary his jealousy was in his first life.”

 

“We all need time to learn, my Alexander. To learn and grow.”

 

Just when Alexander thought that he couldn’t love Hephaestion more, his lover would say something that made him fall in love all over with him and his heart filled with love and adoration. “I am so lucky to have your love, Hephaestion.” Without it, he would not have been the man he was today.

 

~~~

 

“Did you enjoy that nap?” Hephaestion opted for some teasing upon seeing Bagoas awaken. “I reckon my lap makes a good pillow? Are you a bit rested now?”

 

Bagoas had the grace to smile. “How long have I been asleep?” Using Hephaestion’s lap as a pillow meant the other man had been stuck on the couch.

 

“A little over an hour.” Hephaestion combed through Bagoas’ hair with his fingers. “Why don’t you take a long, hot bath and then join Alexander and me for dinner?”

 

“Alexander is here?” Bagoas raised his head a little and sighted Alexander in the kitchen, already in the middle of preparing dinner.

 

“Yes, I am here.” Alexander cast a look at Bagoas from over his shoulder. “Looks like this is the perfect moment to try out those bath oils I gave you. Hephaestion, would you give Bagoas a hand? He looks… wobbly,” Alexander added that last word, seeing how unsteady Bagoas was on his feet.

 

Hephaestion supported Bagoas into the bathroom and turned on the tap in order to fill the bathtub.

 

“I put those oils over there.” Bagoas pointed Hephaestion in the right direction. He struggled with removing his jeans and shirt but succeeded in undressing himself. Shakily, he swayed, moving toward the bathtub. Hephaestion looked at him and Bagoas’ face grew hot and flustered now that he stood naked in front of the older man. The bruises had long faded and his ribs had healed, but he still felt tainted. The wounds his rapists had left behind were invisible, but would always remain a part of him.

 

The tub had finally filled with hot water and Hephaestion added the scented bath oil. “Let me help.” He curled on arm around Bagoas’ waist and carefully guided the younger man into the bathtub. He didn’t dare release Bagoas from his hold until the other man was safely seated in the tub. “And now relax.” Hephaestion seated himself on the rim of the bathtub and poured some shampoo into his hands. Gently, he massaged it into the strands.

 

Bagoas’ nerves began to calm down and he surrendered to Hephaestion’s tender ministrations. “You surprise me.”

 

“And why is that?” Hephaestion used a cup to rinse the shiny hair and then pushed the strands away from the neck. Massaging the tense muscles there, he felt Bagoas relax further.

 

“I never thought you could be like this. I always thought… I don’t know what I thought. I never tried getting to know you – really getting to know you.” Bagoas closed his eyes and bowed his head, giving Hephaestion more space to work with. He then leaned forward, also allowing the older man to massage his shoulders and back. “That feels so good.” No one had ever done this for him.

 

Hephaestion worked on one tense muscle after another. He didn’t feel the need to talk. He just wanted Bagoas to relax and enjoy the massage.

 

~~~

 

Hephaestion helped Bagoas into a bathrobe and towel-dried the long strands of hair. He used his fingers to undo the worst tangles and loved seeing Bagoas looking a bit disheveled like this. “Are you hungry?”

 

“Not really.” Bagoas brushed his teeth and shame once more crept up on him, remembering how he had hurled in front of Hephaestion. “I am sorry I lost it.”

 

“Stop apologizing, Bagoas.” Hephaestion placed his hands on Bagoas’ shoulders and looked into the dark eyes. “You are healing. It is a slow and painful process. This won’t be the last time your feelings will overwhelm you.”

 

“I…” Bagoas was thankful that Hephaestion was trying to reassure him, but what he really needed weren’t words – he needed touch instead.

 

“Tell me what you need.” Hephaestion probed the expressive eyes and saw the need there, but he also wanted Bagoas to voice it.

 

“I need you to hold me.” Bagoas immediately lowered his gaze, wondering how Hephaestion would react to that request. He had never asked for much in either of his lives and this was the first time he felt strong enough to actually speak such words. “I need you to hold me tight and to tell me that I will be fine.”

 

“Bagoas, you will be fine.” Hephaestion embraced Bagoas, holding him close. “Give it time.”

 

Bagoas released a shuddering breath and pressed close against Hephaestion. “The Gods help me, but I think I love you, Hephaestion.” As his face rested against Hephaestion’s shoulder, he couldn’t see the rapturous expression in the glimmering blue eyes.

 

“And I love you too.”

 

~~~

 

“Alexander? What is this?” Hephaestion cocked an eyebrow. Alexander was in the middle of serving dessert and seeing what was on his plate made Hephaestion look up at his lover. Bagoas, seated next to him, actually giggled and hearing that sound made Hephaestion’s heart leap with joy.

 

“Those, my beloved Hephaestion, are penis-shaped chocolates. I bought them when I was in town and kept them in the freezer since.” Alexander provocatively wiggled an eyebrow. “Are you going to eat them, Hephaestion?”

 

Hephaestion closed his eyes and prayed for patience. “You didn’t possess such a wicked streak in your first life.”

 

Alexander’s eyes devoured his lover’s form and he wished they were alone right now. Then he would invite Hephaestion to eat something else. “Come on, Hephaestion, lick it.”

 

“I am not going to give in to you.” Hephaestion opened his eyes and savored seeing Alexander so carefree and energetic. One of his worries, when they had settled down here, had been that Alexander would grow bored or restless, but it appeared Alexander had found his own way to fight boredom. “Penis-shaped chocolates…” He shook his head at such folly.

 

Bagoas, still feeling relaxed and at ease, slipped one of the naughty chocolates into his mouth and bit down on the chocolate – hard – and the cracking sound echoed through the kitchen.

 

“Just be very glad that wasn’t your penis,” said Hephaestion, seeing his chance to tease Alexander in turn.

 

Alexander pretended to sway and gave Bagoas a pretend-shocked look. “Ouch, that would have hurt!”

 

Bagoas gave Hephaestion a cocky smile and the three men continued to eat their dessert, joking and teasing each other with the shape of their delicacy.

 

~~~

 

That evening, Hephaestion and Bagoas turned in early again. Alexander said he wanted to finish watching a documentary, but in reality he wanted the two men to have some privacy so Hephaestion could start working his magic.

 

This time, Bagoas didn’t feel sleepy and he was very much aware of the awake expression in Hephaestion’s startling blue eyes. Clad only in his bathrobe, he debated if he should remove it or keep it on. One part of him wanted to feel Hephaestion’s skin against his, but another part worried Hephaestion might grow aroused and break his promise to never force him. It was during exactly that moment that those two voices started to whisper again.

 

/This is your chance to take control. Use that charm on him! Oromedon taught you well! Show Hephaestion your worth! Make him whisper your name in the moment of climax! Remember what you are and why he wants you here. You are a whore, Bagoas. You always were a whore. You still are one and you will also remain one!/

 

The intensity of that screaming voice made Bagoas sway and he didn’t even notice that Hephaestion caught him and lowered him onto the bed.

 

/No, that isn’t true! I am not a whore! They like me for who I am!/

 

/You say they *like* you! You don’t even believe that they love you!/

 

“Please, Hephaestion, make them stop.” Bagoas’ fingers buried themselves in Hephaestion’s hair and he pressed against the older man. “I can’t make them stop.”

 

“What is wrong, Bagoas? Tell me.” Hephaestion knew something was amiss, but didn’t know what was tormenting Bagoas in such a way that the younger man was trying to curl up in a fetal position. Holding him close, he whispered into Bagoas’ ear. “What is it that you want to stop?”

 

“The voices in my head.”

 

“Tell me what they are saying.” Hephaestion rubbed Bagoas’ lower back and hummed softly, hoping the sound would reassure the trembling man in his arms. 

 

“There is Bagoas, the eunuch… He screams the hardest. He tries to convince me that I am a whore and that you don’t love me…” Bagoas’ swimming eyes made eye contact with Hephaestion. “And then there is the voice of this little boy… I think he is me… A younger me… And he tries to fight Bagoas, the eunuch. Hephaestion, am I losing my mind?”

 

“I doubt that very much.” Hephaestion kept his voice calm and soft, hoping to reassure Bagoas further. “But you might continue to hear those voices for some time. You had the harshest life of the three of us and you have much to deal with. Just remember what we told you, Bagoas, we love you. Tell those voices that whenever they scream at you. Tell them that Alexander and Hephaestion love you. It might silence them.”

 

Bagoas tried just that. He repeated Hephaestion’s words and hurled them at the voices. A moment later, a startling silence blanketed his mind. The voices had stopped yelling at him. “It worked.” Relieved, he smiled at Hephaestion.

 

“They will be back. I am not a psychologist, Bagoas; maybe you should seek out a councilor who can help you deal with the trauma you suffered?”

 

“Something tells me that I don’t need a councilor. I need you. You and Alexander, but foremost you, Hephaestion.”

 

“You have my love and my support, my love, you know that.”

 

“What did you call me?” Bagoas’ eyes had grown big.

 

“My love,” repeated Hephaestion in a caring voice. “Or do you mind me calling you that?”

 

“Won’t Alexander grow jealous, hearing you call me that?” Bagoas still worried that he would somehow tear the two lovers apart.

 

“I seldom call Alexander that,” replied Hephaestion, musing aloud. “He is my Alexander… That is what I call him.”

 

Bagoas moistened his lips, looked Hephaestion in the eye, and said, “You are very special to Alexander. I could never compete with you.”

 

Hephaestion opted for a diplomatic reply. “Why should you? When I love you too?” Seeing the rising love in Bagoas’ eyes, Hephaestion realized he had said the right thing.

 

“I love being like this… just lying here, in your arms, and looking into your eyes.”

 

“We don’t have much need for words, do we?” Hephaestion understood.

 

Bagoas nodded against Hephaestion’s chest, closed his eyes, and surrendered to this blissful feeling of belonging. He didn’t need words, didn’t need to tell Hephaestion how he felt, for Hephaestion already knew… and that knowledge gave him calm and strength.

 

Part 5

 

"Morning…" Alexander leaned in closer to press a kiss onto Hephaestion's hair. He had left their bed a few minutes ago and had made his way over to Hephaestion's side to kiss his lover awake. Bagoas was still asleep and Alexander took great care not to wake the younger man up just yet. Bagoas' sleep had been restless and he had frequently had to sooth the younger man during the night. Hephaestion's eyes blinked and the auburn-haired man tilted his head so they could make eye-contact.

 

"Hush, be quiet," Alexander said, whispering the words into Hephaestion's ear. "Bagoas didn't get much sleep last night. We should let him rest."

 

Hephaestion smiled, sleepily, at his lover. "Good morning." He whispered the words and searched Alexander's sparkling eyes. "What are you up to?"

"I will take Peritas for a walk and then I will give Boukephalos some exercise. I will be gone most of the day, which will give you a chance to deepen your relationship with Bagoas." Interpreting Hephaestion's skeptical look correctly, he shook his head. "No, I am not running away. And no, I don't feel redundant. I know the two of you want me here. This is just my way of giving you some privacy. You understand that, don't you, Hephaestion?"

 

"I do," Hephaestion whispered, touched that Alexander was so concerned about Bagoas. "But you will join us for dinner, won't you?"

 

"Yes, and I will also take your laptop with me. I hope you don't mind… I want to start my novel." Alexander gave Hephaestion a deceptively sweet smile. "Writing about all the times we made love will be interesting."

 

Hephaestion wanted to grab Alexander and shake some sense into the other man, but he couldn't do that as Bagoas was resting in his arms and thus limited him in his movement. "You'd better behave!"

 

"Me? Never." Alexander pressed a quick kiss onto Hephaestion's lips and then strode out of the room in a defiant manner.

 

"Oh, yes, you act smug because you know I am stuck in bed!" If Bagoas hadn't been so tightly attached to him he would have chased after Alexander to talk some sense into his lover. But Bagoas demanded his attention and Hephaestion settled down for a wait, satisfied with watching Bagoas sleep.

 

~~~

 

Bagoas stretched, yawned, and then slowly opened his eyes. Although his dreams had been restless, sleep had still refreshed him and he was now ready to face another day. What he didn't expect to see first thing in the morning was Hephaestion smiling at him with such a loving expression in his eyes.

 

"Good morning, Bagoas." Not giving Bagoas a chance to grow shy or nervous, Hephaestion quickly placed a chaste kiss on the younger man's brow. "How do you feel today? A bit more rested?"

 

Bagoas couldn't help feeling a bit bashful around Hephaestion, especially now that he noticed that the older man was naked. One look at the alarm clock told him that it was already ten o'clock. Something told him that under normal circumstances Hephaestion would have long left the bed. Moving about, he finally realized the reason for Hephaestion still being in bed: he had folded his arms tightly around the muscular body and clung to Hephaestion. "I am sorry," Bagoas muttered, immediately releasing Hephaestion from his hold.

 

"There is nothing to feel sorry for. I like seeing you asleep in my arms." Hephaestion was determined not to give Bagoas any reason to start feeling guilty or ashamed again. "But you didn't answer my question. Do you feel better today?"

 

Hephaestion's question evoked memories regarding the day before and Bagoas' face flushed, recalling he had thrown up and clung to Hephaestion afterwards. As a matter of fact, he was *still* clinging to the older man -- emotionally. "I feel a bit better." It was the truth: he did feel marginally better. /Maybe that is because my stomach is empty./

 

Hephaestion realized that there was no way out of discussing what had happened yesterday, but he was determined to sound as positive as he could. "Telling me about your fears must have been hard on you. Thank you for confiding in me." Hephaestion let his fingers slide through the still disheveled hair. Seeing the unease in Bagoas' eyes, he added, "I like seeing you like this – with your hair wild, still uncombed."

 

"You do? Why is that?" Bagoas frowned.

 

"Because when we lived in Babylon you always kept it so neat. Each strand seemed to know its place perfectly. I like it better this way." In order to prove his point, Hephaestion gently ruffled Bagoas' hair.

 

"I didn't know that." Feeling nervous, Bagoas briefly averted his eyes. "Hephaestion, I…"

 

"Yes?" Hephaestion smiled, encouragingly.

 

"This feels strange… You, in bed with me… No Alexander… Why did he leave?" Bagoas still worried that he might cause problems within their relationship.

 

"Alexander decided to spend the day outside. He will be back before dinner."

 

"Is he doing that on purpose? Why?"

 

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath, seeing the lost and abandoned look in Bagoas' eyes. Bagoas might no longer feel that obsessive love for Alexander, but the younger man still greatly cared for Alexander. "He wants us to spend some time together."

 

Bagoas was about to ask more questions when his stomach growled – loudly and angrily.

 

"I guess that means it is time for breakfast." Hephaestion began to move away from Bagoas. "Why don't you wash your face and put on some clothes? You can then join me in the kitchen." Hephaestion left the bed, slipped into his jeans, and raised his right hand, offering to pull Bagoas to his feet.

 

Bagoas accepted the gesture and got to his feet. They stood close now, incredibly close, and his heartbeat accelerated. He wanted to kiss Hephaestion, wanted to press himself against the muscular form – wanted those strong arms to circle his waist and to hold him. Timidly, he raised his hand and placed its palm against Hephaestion's cheek, feeling the somewhat course facial skin beneath his fingertips. "You didn't seem to mind when I told you I love you. I still have trouble accepting that you are agreeable to this. I didn't think you would."

 

Hephaestion knew the self-doubt might continue for some while and reacted with a kiss. Pressing his lips against Bagoas’, he gently kissed him. Bagoas' lips and teeth parted and he tenderly explored the younger man's mouth. At the same time, he slipped his hands up Bagoas' back and pulled him close. He was aroused, like he was almost every morning and knew Bagoas felt his arousal. Hephaestion wondered how Bagoas would react to that sensation. Maybe he was even trying to test Bagoas.

 

"Do you desire me that much?" Bagoas was tempted to slide his hand down Hephaestion's chest and touch him intimately, but a part of him was afraid what might happen if he did, so he kept his hands to himself.

 

Bagoas' reaction pleased Hephaestion. As far as Hephaestion was concerned it was a good thing that Bagoas wasn't offering to bring him to orgasm. It meant Bagoas was focusing on other aspects of their relationships. "Go, change into some clothes and then join me in the kitchen."

 

Bagoas' knees almost gave way beneath him and he swayed when Hephaestion released him. The older man exited the bedroom, leaving him behind – confused. Bagoas had always been around men who wanted him for his body – for the sex. And now there was Hephaestion, who proclaimed to love him for other reasons than just sex and, so far, the older man had given him no reason to doubt that. Hephaestion kept his distance – sexually – and that although he had felt Hephaestion's arousal. Any other customer would have either told him to suck it or to bend over. But not Hephaestion. Hephaestion had only kissed him.

 

Love blossomed in Bagoas' heart as he finally realized that Hephaestion was for real. He could trust himself with Hephaestion and even more importantly, he could trust Hephaestion to put his needs first.

 

~~~

 

"You didn't have to do that." Bagoas gingerly seated himself, looking at the toast, scrambled egg, pancakes, and the cereal Hephaestion had placed on the kitchen table. "I am not *that* hungry." Contrary to his words, his stomach growled again. "Well, maybe just a little." The idea of putting food in his stomach made him nauseous. What if he had to hurl again? He didn't want Hephaestion to constantly clean up after him.

 

"Why don't you try some buttered toast and a cup of tea?" Hephaestion had made strong, black coffee for himself and was in the middle of piling the scrambled egg onto a slice of toast. "That way your stomach might settle down a bit."

 

Reluctantly, Bagoas did as Hephaestion had suggested and nibbled on a slice of buttered toast, sipping the tea Hephaestion had made for him. Looking at the older man, he wondered if he had reached the right conclusion. "Do you like taking care of me?" Hephaestion's warm open smile answered his question.

 

"Yes, I like that very much. I am like that with Alexander as well, Bagoas. I like taking care of people." Hephaestion reached for a pancake and added some fruits to it. "Try this." He handed Bagoas the plate. "But eat slowly. You don't want to upset your stomach."

 

Bagoas took a few bites out of the pancake because he wanted to please Hephaestion. The older man had gone to great lengths to get him something tasty to eat. "I like it when you take care of me," Bagoas admitted, quickly lowering his gaze so he was staring at the plate instead of Hephaestion's eyes. Opening up to Hephaestion wasn't easy, but he was determined to try. "I only trusted one person in my life and that was Alexander. In my second life, there was no one I could trust – until now. I trust you, Hephaestion."

 

Hephaestion's heart missed a beat. "Bagoas, Alexander still loves you and will always protect you. Yes, you can trust him, and yes, you can trust me. Alexander and I love you." Hephaestion understood the big step Bagoas had just taken by admitting his feelings. "Now finish eating your breakfast."

 

Bagoas managed a smile and raised his eyes, looking into Hephaestion's. "I love you," he whispered, still unfamiliar with speaking the words to Hephaestion instead of Alexander.

 

And Hephaestion, knowing how badly Bagoas needed to hear his reply, answered, "And I love you, my sweet Bagoas."

 

~~~

 

After breakfast, Hephaestion followed Bagoas into the living room. Although Bagoas smiled at him once in a while, Hephaestion could literally see the tension in the way the younger man hunched his shoulders. His hands were itching to do something about that, but he didn't know how Bagoas would react to his suggestion and so he remained undecided.

 

Bagoas sat down on the couch, pulled up his legs, and wrapped his arms around his knees. To Hephaestion, the younger man looked in need of affection and, even more so, a thorough massage, especially around the shoulder area. Hephaestion seated himself close to Bagoas on the couch and waited for the raven-haired man to make eye-contact with him. "You seem tense."

 

"That is because I am tense." Bagoas' voice was barely a whisper. "It has nothing to do with you, though. I am beginning to realize what has happened to me… That I got away from those pimps and that I am safe… That I can start a whole new life now."

 

"But?" Hephaestion said.

 

"But I am still afraid that they will somehow find me and take me back. And then Alexander and you will find yourselves in trouble as well." Bagoas' dark eyes swam with unshed tears. "I am endangering you."

 

Hephaestion rested his hand atop of Bagoas' and rubbed the long fingers. "First, Bagoas, Alexander and I have been in trouble before. We can defend ourselves. Don't worry about us."

 

"And second?" Bagoas just knew there was more to follow.

 

"And secondly, we are going to do something about you feeling that tense." Hephaestion cocked his head and stared into Bagoas' eyes, hiding nothing. "Alexander always tells me how good I am at giving massages. I could work on your back and shoulders, Bagoas. You might feel less tense afterwards."

 

Bagoas liked the idea, but… "Would I have to undress in order for you to give me that massage?"

 

"Yes." Hephaestion tread carefully, seeing the expression in Bagoas' eyes. Yes, the younger man trusted him, but the instincts were still there – instincts which told him to be careful. "I am only talking about giving you a massage, Bagoas. It will only become more if you want that. I won't instigate any intimacy if that is what you are afraid of."

 

"Not afraid," Bagoas said quickly, hoping he hadn't hurt Hephaestion's feelings. "I do trust you," he repeated. "It is just that I don't know how to behave… around you… it is hard."

 

"Yes, setting boundaries is hard, but you are doing well." Hephaestion continued to rub Bagoas' fingers. "You are doing fine."

 

"Setting boundaries?" He hadn't realized he was doing that.

 

"It is a good thing," Hephaestion said, soothing Bagoas, who gave him an upset look. "You don't want anyone to touch you against your will and you feel comfortable enough to try that with me. You are doing well, my love."

 

Hearing those last two words made Bagoas blush once more. "I never blushed this much."

 

Hephaestion chuckled. "You should have seen me when I first realized my feelings for Alexander. I blushed all the time… and so did Alexander. We were schoolboys, Bagoas. We didn't really understand the nature of our feelings."

 

Hephaestion's words calmed Bagoas' nerves. "Only a massage? Nothing more?"

 

"Only if you want it to be more." Hephaestion wanted to keep this option open, just in case Bagoas would decide to take a chance at trusting him a little bit more. "What do you say, Bagoas? Doesn't that sound good? A massage?"

 

"I guess it does…" Bagoas didn't quite know how to tell Hephaestion this. "In my first life, I was the one giving massages – sexual massages, you know." He peeked at Hephaestion to see if the other man understood. "And in my second life I… I never had a massage that wasn't supposed to lead to sex." Painful sex – for him, that is.

 

"Why don't you remove your clothes and lie down on the bed? I will join in a moment. I need to locate the massage oil. Alexander tends to leave it in strange places. The last time I found it hidden beneath one of the couch pillows." He already was sliding his hand under the pillow, trying to find the oil. "Go ahead."

 

Bagoas swallowed hard. Although he wanted to trust Hephaestion, that trust didn't come easily. He had been lied to, hurt, and taken advantage of too many times already and he still expected it to happen again. /But no, this is Hephaestion…/ And, to his surprise, he wanted to add something to that thought… /My lion…/

 

Bagoas almost fled into the bedroom, forcing himself to keep drawing in deep breaths of air. He could trust Hephaestion. His lion would never betray his trust.

 

~~~

 

Bagoas felt nervous when he lay down on his stomach. The bed dipped beneath his weight and he tried to calm down his breathing, which had grown ragged. The fact that he couldn't see Hephaestion unnerved him.

 

"I finally found it! Only the Gods know why Alexander would put massage oil in the kitchen cupboard next to the sugar!" Hephaestion continued to talk softly as he saw the tension in Bagoas' shoulders. The younger man looked like he was ready to bolt from the room. "I will put on some music." Maybe that would help Bagoas relax. He turned on the radio and tuned into a station that aired classical music. "So, are you ready, Bagoas?" He had brought a towel with him and now covered Bagoas' backside with it, hoping the younger man felt less exposed that way.

 

"It is not because of you, Hephaestion," Bagoas mumbled. His head rested on his forearms and he briefly lifted his head to look at Hephaestion from over his shoulder. To his relief, the older man was still dressed in jeans and he had even put a T-shirt on. The fact that Hephaestion had placed a towel over his butt also reassured him somewhat.

 

"I know that." Hephaestion knelt on the bed next to Bagoas as he didn't want to straddle the younger man's lower back. He had to take this one step at a time. He uncapped the bottle and poured some of the massage oil onto his palms. "I will just warm this up." He rubbed his hands together and drew in a deep breath in order to center himself. "A massage is supposed to be relaxing, Bagoas, so if I do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable tell me and I will stop."

 

Bagoas nodded his head once and then rested his brow back onto his forearms. He didn't realize it, but his hands had turned into fists. That was how tense he felt.

 

"Now, let me… Why are you so tense, Bagoas?"

 

Hephaestion's touch felt right and Bagoas answered without thinking first. "I am afraid this will end – that I can’t be this lucky."

 

Hephaestion concentrated on the curve of Bagoas' back, sliding his palms down along the elegant spine. "It is about time you got lucky in life, Bagoas. You deserve so much better."

 

"Do I?" Lured into relaxation by Hephaestion's talented hands, Bagoas released a deep sigh. "Oh, this feels so good." Even when Hephaestion applied some pressure to his tense and sore muscles, it still felt good.

 

"It is supposed to feel good." Hephaestion continued to work on Bagoas' back a little longer, and, once the worst knots had been kneaded away, his fingers traveled up, massaging the neck. "Just let go, Bagoas. You can relax."

 

Bagoas felt like putty in Hephaestion's talented hands and his eyes started to close. This was the first time in his life that someone was focusing on bringing him such pleasure, such relaxation, and he wanted to savor every moment of it.

 

Hearing Bagoas moan made Hephaestion smile. Alexander had always complimented him with his massage techniques and he was happy to do the same thing for Bagoas now. He hummed softly, trying to follow the music. His hands moved over to Bagoas' upper arms, working on them as well. The tension, which had made Bagoas' muscles knot, was slowly leaving the younger man's body and Hephaestion wondered if he had managed to lure Bagoas back into sleep. Alexander had fallen asleep more than once. "I always loved to see you dance, Bagoas. Has it crossed your mind to take up dancing again?"

 

Bagoas had been pleasantly dozing, but had not fallen asleep yet. Hephaestion's question took him by surprise, but it felt good that the older man was interested in what he wanted. "I haven't given it much thought yet. I might." He couldn't remember ever feeling so relaxed. Hephaestion's promise that nothing sexual was required on his part allowed him to let down his guard.

 

Another moan fled his lips when Hephaestion moved on to massaging his legs. Feeling the strong fingers slide along his calves was pure bliss and Bagoas completely surrendered to the wonderful feeling. Just when he was about to fall asleep Hephaestion's voice woke him.

 

"Could you please turn around so I can do your front?"

 

"My front?" Bagoas' eyes opened and he was instantly awake. Hephaestion wanted to do his front? No!

 

"What's wrong?" Hephaestion had a pretty good idea what was upsetting Bagoas, but didn't address the matter yet. "I need to do your front as well."

 

"That isn't necessary," Bagoas mumbled, feeling embarrassed. He couldn't roll onto his back right now!

 

"I should. You are growing tense again."

 

"That is because I don't want you to do my front." There! He had said it!

 

"And why is that, Bagoas?" Hephaestion now opted for the direct approach. "Did that massage make you feel good, Bagoas? Is that why you don't want to turn around?"

 

Bagoas tried to hide his face between the pillows. He had so hoped Hephaestion wouldn't address this!

 

"It is okay to be aroused, Bagoas. There is nothing wrong with being relaxed and feeling good. Now turn around for me. You know you can trust me. I won't touch you intimately if you don't want me to."

 

"Hephaestion, I…" Bagoas lifted his head and gave Hephaestion a pleading look. "I feel ashamed."

 

Hephaestion curled an arm around Bagoas' waist and pulled him into an upright position. "Does the fact that you are naked make you feel uncomfortable?"

 

"It shouldn't. I know it is stupid. I have been naked with men too many times to count." Bagoas lacked the courage to look Hephaestion in the eye.

 

"But I am not 'men', Bagoas." Hephaestion smiled, reassuringly, and raised his hand to caress Bagoas' face. "Just lie down, my precious Bagoas."

 

"Precious?" Had Hephaestion really called him that? Hearing that tone and seeing the expression in those sky-blue eyes made Bagoas give in and he lay down on his back. Hephaestion hovered above him and added more massage oil to his hands. "Do you know who you remind me of, Hephaestion?" He sucked in his breath in surprise the moment Hephaestion placed his hands upon his shoulders, starting the massage all over again.

 

"No, tell me." Hephaestion kept his touches light, but not too light. He made sure he applied just enough pressure to undo the knots of tense muscles. At first, he didn't really know if Bagoas wanted to maintain eye-contact, but as the dark eyes never left his, he returned the look.

 

"You remind me of a lion." Bagoas failed to stop himself from raising his hand to caress Hephaestion's face. He was somehow lost, adrift on these wonderful emotions that Hephaestion's massage had evoked. "And your hair… a lion's mane." His fingers tangled in the auburn hair, enjoying the feel of the strands between his fingers. "Have I ever been in love before?"

 

Hephaestion forced himself to remain calm and in control. The look Bagoas gave him made him feel weak. "You were in love with Alexander, weren't you?"

 

Bagoas absentmindedly nodded his head once. Hephaestion's hands now traveled lower and rubbed his abdominal muscles. Those large, talented, powerful hands were only inches away from his arousal and Bagoas swallowed hard, realizing that he wanted Hephaestion to touch him in *that* way. "What are you doing to me?" He had never wanted to be touched intimately, having learned the hard way that touch often equaled pain. "Why do I want this?"

 

Hephaestion smiled in understanding. "You want to feel good, do you remember saying that?"

 

Bagoas nodded again. "I do." He momentarily forgot to breathe as he felt Hephaestion's fingers travel lower still. They now rested on his inner thighs, still massaging, but oh so close to his hard flesh.

 

"And that is a first for you. No one ever focused on making you feel good, did they?" Hephaestion wanted nothing more than to give Bagoas even more pleasure, but he wouldn't do anything without Bagoas' explicit request. "If you want me to make you feel even better, you only have to say so."

 

Entranced, Bagoas stared into Hephaestion's loving eyes. "I want that, yes… I want to feel good… My strong, fierce lion…"

 

Hephaestion's heart melted with love as he heard Bagoas call him that. "I will always be your lion, Bagoas. I will love you and protect you as long as I shall live." Oh, he wanted to touch Bagoas intimately… but did the younger man want that as well?

 

"I… uh… would you… I would like…" Bagoas stuttered, trying to find the right words. "I want to feel even better."

 

"Do you want me to touch you? Bring you to orgasm?" Hephaestion watched Bagoas closely. "What do you really want?"

 

Bagoas' nervousness returned. Could he really tell Hephaestion what he wanted?

 

Hephaestion leaned in closer and kissed Bagoas' lips. "You know you can tell me."

 

"I… I want… Would you get me off? Your hand would do…" Bagoas bit his bottom lip. Would Hephaestion truly understand? Or try to penetrate him?

 

"Your wish is my command, my sweet Bagoas…" Hephaestion gently parted Bagoas' legs so he could kneel in between the long limbs. "I will make you feel good. Just relax…" He slid his hands upwards, rubbing Bagoas' chest and eventually his nipples. He teased the nubs of flesh before sliding his hands toward Bagoas' shoulders and eventually the other man's head. Bagoas was still keeping his head tilted in order to see him, so Hephaestion gently guided the back of Bagoas' head onto the pillow. "Close your eyes and enjoy…"

 

Bagoas thought he had died and gone to heaven as he felt Hephaestion's warm lips close over the head of his member. The fingers of one hand curled around the base and stroked slowly. The oil added a nice dimension to the stroking and Bagoas quivered over his entire body. Hephaestion's other hand stayed on his chest and moved between his nipples, first pinching one and then rolling the other between his fingertips. Bagoas couldn't help himself and raised his hips in response. Hephaestion increased the pace and intensity of his strokes and sucking motion and Bagoas rested one hand atop of Hephaestion's head, running his fingers through the strands. "My lion… I love you so much…" He didn't last long. Hephaestion's talented tongue and lips pushed him over the edge. "Oh, Hephaestion!"

 

Hephaestion peeked up at Bagoas' face and found the dark eyes had closed. The expression of bliss on the handsome face was the only reward he needed and he let the twitching flesh slip from his lips just seconds before Bagoas hit orgasm. He wanted to see his lover come… wanted to see the cream erupt from the head. It would prove to him once more that his lover was whole and not a eunuch any more. "I love you too," he whispered, claiming Bagoas' lips.

 

Bagoas wrapped his arms around Hephaestion's form, desperately clinging to him. Needy moans left his lips and he whipped his hips upward, trying to fuck the air.

 

Hephaestion cradled Bagoas against his chest and enjoyed watching his lover climax. The warm cream dripped from the head and Hephaestion thanked the gods that Bagoas was fully functional. "Love you," he whispered, kissing Bagoas again.

 

Bagoas slowly regained his wits and stared at Hephaestion in gratitude and bliss. "No one ever… the way you did that…"

 

"You don't have to speak." Hephaestion smiled, warmly, rubbing Bagoas' flank. "Just focus on *feeling* your body."

 

"How about your body?" Bagoas clearly saw the bulge in Hephaestion's jeans. "You are hard as well."

 

"Don’t worry about that. This is about you, Bagoas."

 

"No." Bagoas determinedly shook his head. "I want to do this for you."

 

"Bagoas…" Hephaestion's voice carried a warning, but Bagoas' fingers were already undoing his zipper. "Only your hands, do you understand?" He couldn't take any risks. The last thing he wanted was for Bagoas to overestimate himself and suffer rape flashbacks.

 

Hearing that actually relieved Bagoas. "I am okay with that. Come, lie down next to me."

 

Hephaestion had stripped off his jeans and he now eased himself down onto the bed and into Bagoas' arms. Lying on his back, he watched Bagoas raise himself onto his side and then those long, elegant fingers gingerly touched his engorged member. "Are you certain you want to do this? You don't have to."

 

Bagoas nodded his head once. "Your concern touches me, but I am not made of glass."

 

"I am just worried." Hephaestion panted softly, feeling Bagoas' nimble fingers curl around his erection.

 

"Don't be. This makes me feel good as well." Bagoas, propped up on his side, now hovered above Hephaestion, and he leaned in closer to kiss him. "The greatest gift you can give me," Bagoas whispered against Hephaestion's lips, "is to trust yourself to me in turn."

 

Bagoas' words were Hephaestion's undoing and he surrendered to the caresses. Bagoas' strokes were timed, not too strong, and kept him on the edge for a few protracted minutes. When he finally could take no more, he pleaded with his lover. "Allow me to come… Please."

 

Bagoas' lips slid down Hephaestion's throat and suckled the skin there. He pumped Hephaestion's cock hard and the older man didn't last long. Hephaestion came with his name on his lips and Bagoas quickly claimed them, taking his name and Hephaestion's breath inside him.

 

Hephaestion's head reeled from the experience. Bagoas' lips were hot and soft and he returned the kiss, deepening it. Ecstasy coursed through him and, when the waves of bliss finally slowed down, he raised a hand to brush Bagoas' raven hair away from the younger man's face. "Thank you, my love."

 

Bagoas lay down and snuggled up to Hephaestion. They would have to clean up in a moment, but not yet. "Maybe there is still hope for me."

 

"Oh, I am sure there is," Hephaestion whispered in post-orgasmic bliss. It was only a matter of time; Bagoas' emotional scars *would* heal.

 

Part 6

 

Bagoas seemed to lose some of his bashfulness after receiving that massage. During the rest of the day, he remained close to Hephaestion, assisting the other man with preparing lunch and even doing household chores, like making the beds or doing some vacuuming. Hephaestion's eyes glittered with approval, always finding Bagoas close. Giving the younger man that massage had worked miracles and it had also taken them one step further in building a relationship.

 

The only fact that surprised Hephaestion was that Bagoas had nicknamed him 'His lion'. That name seemed much more appropriate for Alexander.

 

In the afternoon, while expecting Alexander's return, Hephaestion and Bagoas went outside to watch the clouds drift by. "Can I ask you something?" Hephaestion smiled at Bagoas, who had lain down with his head on his lap. His fingers automatically moved through the raven strands, relishing their soft feel.

 

"What do you want to know?" Bagoas still felt somewhat guarded, but only because he was ashamed of his past. He had hoped that Hephaestion wouldn't bring it up now that they were enjoying such a peaceful moment.

 

"Why do you call me your lion? Why not call Alexander that?"

 

Bagoas instantly felt reassured. "Alexander always reminds me of a tiger… moving restlessly in his cage, trying to get out. You are not like that. You are always calm and controlled. You have a measure of self-control which Alexander lacks."

 

Bagoas had made a valid point. Alexander could easily get out of control; that was probably one reason why they worked out so well. Hephaestion was the only one who could really temper Alexander and force him to slow down and think about what he was about to do. Alexander had never listened to anyone else, not even his mother.

 

"Or does that displease you? Would you rather have that I don't call you that?"

 

Hephaestion quickly shook his head. "No, that isn't it. I was just wondering." Leaning in closer, he kissed Bagoas' lips. "Alexander should be back any moment now. Maybe you could set the table?" He wanted a moment alone with his Alexander.

 

Bagoas understood and didn't mind. He was already grateful that he had Hephaestion's love in the first place. He pushed himself to his feet, pressed a kiss onto the crown of Hephaestion's head, and disappeared into the house.

 

~~~

 

Hephaestion rose from the grass as he saw Alexander and Peritas approach the house. His lover had a healthy blush on his face and the brown eyes danced with life. Oh, he loved seeing Alexander like that! "Welcome back." He almost threw himself at Alexander, who quickly caught him.

 

"My, you are eager!" Alexander winked and pressed Hephaestion close. "Miss me?"

 

"Not really," Hephaestion replied, acting coy. "But I am curious to see what you typed up." He would censure certain scenes if Alexander ever got serious and tried selling his book to a publisher. He wouldn't put it past Alexander that he would try to share his story with the rest of the world. "You promised to let me read."

 

"I will let you read in a second." Alexander took his time kissing Hephaestion and then reluctantly pulled back to study the blue eyes. "How was your day with Bagoas?"

 

"I believe we made progress. I gave him one of my massages and…"

 

"Oh, now I *am* jealous!" Alexander grinned. "Does that mean I will get one as well? You can do my front any time you want."

 

Hephaestion blinked… and blinked again. Alexander had never been this bold, this… sexually challenging and he wondered if the mood would last.

 

Alexander sensed some of Hephaestion's puzzlement and shrugged his shoulders. "You said that we are changing. Maybe this is part of the changes I am going through?" Hephaestion was still giving him *that* look and Alexander continued, "I didn't have the time to *really* be your lover our first time around. I was too busy planning conquests. I don't have to do that now. I can focus on you… and Bagoas, of course."

 

"Don't you miss the battles? The fighting? The adrenaline rushing through your body? You lived for those moments."

 

Alexander shook his head again. "Oddly enough, I don't. Now the adrenaline rushes through my veins whenever we make love." It was the biggest compliment Alexander could have paid Hephaestion and he wasn't really surprised when tears gathered in the blue depths. "I am so sorry that I wasn't really there for you in our first life. Trust me; I won't make the same mistake again."

 

Hephaestion rested his head against Alexander's shoulder. "We should go inside. Bagoas is probably eager for you to talk to him and I want my laptop back." He was going to read whatever Alexander had typed up!

 

~~~

 

"Ah, my lovely Bagoas! There you are!" Alexander pushed the bag containing the laptop into Hephaestion's hands, and then advanced on Bagoas, who looked at him with large, expectant eyes. He wrapped his arms around the younger man and gave him a passionate kiss on his lips. "How are you today?" He took Bagoas' hand between his and seated himself next to the younger man at the kitchen table.

 

Hephaestion stopped paying attention to them and concentrated on starting up his laptop. He accessed the file Alexander had created and crossed his fingers, hoping his lover had had the decency not to write anything *that* explicit about their first time.

 

# I am sitting in the courtyard, trying to adjust the strap of my quiver and the fabric just won't cooperate. It needs a new hole and I am trying to fix that when *he* walks up to me. This boy is a good head taller and possesses the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen.

 

"I can help you with that. Give it to me."

 

"No!" I don't want to give my quiver to him. I can manage myself and I tell him just that. But the boy doesn't relent and grabs it from my hands. That is the moment I get angry with him. I scream at him, using all the words I picked up from the soldiers living in the barracks and his eyes – those eyes! – widen. My cussing shocks him, but my tirade works and I manage to take hold of my quiver again.

 

"I am sorry. I only want to help."

 

I nod my head once and sit down again. The other boy follows me down and we work together on adjusting the strap. Having him at my side and assisting me feels right and I steal more than just one look at his eyes.

 

"Hephaestion! Where are you, boy?" A man appears close to the house and my new companion jumps to his feet as if bitten by a snake.

 

"That is my father. I need to go."

 

But those blue eyes tell me he doesn't want to leave. He wants to stay here with me instead, but his father grabs hold of his hand and drags him away.

 

***

 

That was the first time Hephaestion and I met, and I will never forget the way I felt, looking into his eyes for the very first time. It felt like coming home. #

 

Oh, that was not what Hephaestion had expected to read and his throat felt all choked up. The truth was that he had never forgotten their first encounter either. He had tried to convince his father that the Macedonian Prince had enjoyed his company and that they had started to befriend each other, but his father had been adamant and had forbidden him to approach Alexander again.

 

Alexander had watched Hephaestion from the corner of his eye and now excused himself from Bagoas. "I will be right back."

 

Bagoas watched Alexander rise from the chair and walk over to Hephaestion until the blond man stood behind his lover, reading from over Hephaestion's shoulder. That scene reminded Bagoas of the past and that their roles had been reversed; back then it had been Hephaestion reading Alexander's letters.

 

"Ah, you are reading *that*." He should count himself lucky that this was the first thing Hephaestion had read. Maybe it was a bad idea to tell Hephaestion that he had written more snippets – most of them a bit more explicit. "If only your father hadn't been that strict. We could have been friends even then."

 

Hephaestion nodded his head once. "He did what he thought was right." Hephaestion closed the document and he was about to close the laptop as well when he sighted another new file. "What is this?"

 

"Uh, I thought I had deleted that." But that wasn't the truth; he never planned on deleting that snippet. He had grown hard writing it and had taken himself into hand while reading that snippet over and over again. "It is of no interest to you."

 

But Hephaestion knew better than to believe Alexander. "What did you do?" He clicked on the file.

 

Bagoas carefully made his way over to the couch and wondered if it would be all right for him to read as well. Alexander answered that unspoken question by curling an arm around him and pulling him close so he had no other option than to look at the screen as well.

 

"I am going to need your support in the next few moments," Alexander whispered to Bagoas, wishing he *had* deleted that file, but it was too late now.

 

#Babylon is never quiet and the sounds of the city keep me awake. That, and the fact that my lover has finally returned to me. Hephaestion has been away for quite some time and I need him with me so badly that I eagerly dismiss Bagoas, telling him that I will take my own bath. After Bagoas has left, we step onto the balcony, sipping our wine and talking softly. Hephaestion is the only one who confronts me with questions and the doubts that live among my soldiers. I love him for being honest with me. That night, we have an emotional discussion and I am growing desperate to find a way to distract him. The last thing I want to dwell upon when he is so close is my mother.

 

"Hephaestion, I missed you so much." I start my little campaign to seduce him by uncurling his fingers from around his goblet and placing it aside. I pull him close, loving the masculine scent that invades my nostrils. I practically drool, seeing his bare chest. I can't stop my fingers from caressing his pectorals and they eventually encounter his rock-hard nipples. I delight in twisting and pinching them until Hephaestion is moaning and thrusting against me. Yes, it has been weeks, maybe even months, since we were together and I am hungry for him. "I am going to make you scream tonight." The look he gives me is already hooded with lust and I push the silk fabric from his broad shoulders so I can admire his well-trained body.

 

My fingers gently caress his scars – scars which he obtained by fighting for me and guarding my back. The fact that he will lay down his life in order to save mine fills me with love and pride and I crush him against my chest. Hephaestion might be the more powerful of the two of us, but I am always the eager one. I always want to possess him, body and soul.

 

"I missed you so much… I need you so much." I turn him in the embrace and press close. Keeping one arm curled around his waist, I rub my erection against his backside. Oh, Hephaestion is always so willing, so eager to receive me, and I just know I can't hold back any longer. "I need you now."

 

Hephaestion trembles in my arms and I reach into the pocket of my evening robe, uncovering the oil I brought. Yes, I planned this and I don't mind admitting that. "I want you here and now." Only a moment ago I lashed out at the races we had conquered for mating in public and now I am about to take my sweet Hephaestion here on the balcony. That thought excites me further and I rub myself harder against Hephaestion's body. Oh, the clothes definitely have to go!

 

I make quick work of getting Hephaestion out of his robes and then my evening robe joins his on the floor. I always feel awed, realizing this man loves me. Hephaestion might not know it himself, but his beauty, his body, and his eyes enslaved me a long time ago. My hands caress his buttocks and I need to take him now… I can't wait any longer.

 

Guiding his hands onto the balustrade, I stand behind him and part his legs. "It has been so long, Hephaestion." With one hand I rub the oil onto my cock and with the other, I part his buttocks. "I apologize in advance for the way I am going to take you." I don't give him much time to adjust and take myself into hand, positioning myself at the entrance to his body. Ecstasy is only a second away. His warmth, his tight passage, will receive me and then I will know that I have come home at last. I push inside, not caring or considering if he is in any discomfort. I *need* him. Need him now, need to *feel* him.

 

A gasp leaves Hephaestion's lips and he bows forward, resting his upper body against the balustrade. I inch closer, press my groin against his backside, and look down. He has taken me completely, even without proper preparation. "Oh, yes… I missed this!" He seems to know what I need as he presses back. I take it as a hint that he wants me to continue in whatever way I desire.

 

I wrap my fingers in his mane, place my other hand against the small of his back, and lose myself in the thrusting motion. He is so warm, so tight, and so welcoming that I almost feel sorry for the brute way I am taking him in. But this is what I need and I *know* he understands that. I ride him hard, using his hair as reins and make mad, unbridled love to him.

 

The moment of his climax takes me by surprise. His passage contracts around my member and normally, I would stop thrusting, letting those contractions bring to me orgasm, but not today – not yet. I continue to pound into him and he tenses. I know he is in discomfort, but still he allows me to carry on. I love him for understanding me so well.

 

A few minutes later, I finally reach orgasm. I am buried deep and release my seed inside him, filling him, claiming him. Hephaestion is mine and I am his. That is the way it always was, is, and always will be. I will make amends for riding him that hard. I will whisper sweet words to him, words he always loves to hear and I will hold him close in his sleep.

 

Hephaestion is my beacon in a stormy sea. I am lost without him. I need him like I need the air to breathe. Without him, I am nothing.#

 

Hephaestion swallowed hard after reading that entry. "Alexander?" He looked at his lover, trying to figure out just what expression lay in those large, brown eyes.

 

"I didn't plan to make it that… detailed," Alexander said, trying to find the right words. "I was only trying to describe my feelings. I didn't plan on concentrating on the act itself. It reads like pornography. I should probably change that."

 

But Hephaestion shook his head. "You were being honest." Hephaestion squeezed Alexander's knee and smiled. "I also remember that night and your passion – the way you claimed me. I loved it, in spite of the discomfort I was in."

 

Bagoas tried to move away from them, judging this was a private moment, but Alexander refused to let go of him. Bagoas' head spun a little bit, having been privy to an insight in Alexander's thinking and his love for Hephaestion. He had never fully realized just how much Hephaestion had grounded Alexander. Each time Alexander had said that Hephaestion kept him sane, Bagoas, the eunuch, had dismissed that as nonsense. But he knew better now. Hephaestion *had* kept Alexander sane. /That also explains why he lost his mind after Hephaestion died./

 

Alexander and Hephaestion were two halves that made one whole, and again, Bagoas wondered how he fit in. How could they love him when their love was already complete?

 

Alexander read those questions and doubts in Bagoas' dark eyes, but he didn't know how to deal with them right now. Like Hephaestion, he believed that they could only prove their love to Bagoas by deeds and not with words alone.

 

~~~

 

"When I was surfing earlier I found something interesting." Alexander had obtained Hephaestion's laptop again and gave both men a smug look. "They made a movie about us." Now that he had found the site he was looking for, he shifted the laptop so Hephaestion and Bagoas could watch as well. "Alexander, an Oliver Stone film."

 

Skeptical, Hephaestion raised an eye brow. "A film?"

 

"About the *three* of us?" Bagoas frowned. Why would a movie maker include *him*?

 

"I checked the site out earlier. It appears the movie director tried to stick to the facts and it is playing in a nearby theatre. Driving there would only take us one hour." Alexander gave them his most charming smile. "Please? I would like to see this movie."

 

"And what if you don't like the way Oliver Stone portrayed you?" Hephaestion felt reluctant, knowing the temper tantrums Alexander could throw. "Did you think of that?"

 

"I'll behave," Alexander promised and then gave Hephaestion a wink. "You should see the actor they chose to play your part." He clicked a link and a picture of Jared Leto appeared on screen. "What do you think?"

 

Hephaestion remained a bit skeptical. "He is handsome," he admitted in the end.

 

"Yes, but his eyes are nowhere as striking as yours." Alexander's gaze now traveled from Hephaestion to Bagoas. "And I know you will just love your counterpart." Another click and the picture changed. "As far as I am concerned they cast your part extremely well."

 

"Francesco Bosch," Bagoas read, watching the face on the screen. He had to agree with Alexander that they had done well with the casting. "And who plays you?"

 

"An Irish actor called Colin Farrell." Alexander leaned back into the comfort of the couch. "I am really interested in watching this movie."

 

Hephaestion and Bagoas exchanged a look. They couldn't really deny Alexander and they knew it. "As far as I am concerned there is only one problem," Hephaestion stated eventually. "Did you take into account that they might still be looking for Bagoas? Can we take the risk of venturing into the city?"

 

"I thought of that." Deep lines appeared on Alexander's brow. "Bagoas could wear a bandana, cap, or hide in the hood of his coat." Shifting, he added, "I am not sure I want to hide from these criminals, Hephaestion. Maybe we should settle this for once and for all."

 

Hephaestion groaned. "Knowing you that means you will take your sword and behead them."

 

"That thought also crossed my mind." Alexander was serious and locked eyes with Hephaestion. "We need to consider Bagoas' future." Looking Bagoas in the eye, he said, "You are still young. You might want to study or travel. I doubt you will want to stay here for the rest of your life."

 

Bagoas firmly shook his head. "I don't need to travel, Alexander. I have seen most of the world in my first life and I don't need to study either. I only want to remain here – with the two of you."

 

Hephaestion cocked his head, knowing that Bagoas might change his thinking later, once he was whole and strong again, but what really mattered was what Bagoas wanted right now. "You can stay here as long as you want," he declared. "You hopefully know that we want you here."

 

Bagoas nodded his head once. He finally understood that.

 

"Now what about the film? Can I book tickets for tomorrow?" Alexander was about to place an online reservation for tomorrow and only needed to hit send.

 

"If it means that much to you…" Hephaestion gave in, but still remained worried. He could only hope that Alexander would be pleased with Colin Farrell's acting. If not, seeing Alexander throw a tempter tantrum would not be pretty.

 

~~~

 

"Bagoas, could you move a little to the right?" They had watched a movie and had then turned in for the night. Hephaestion was spooned up behind Bagoas and Alexander was trying to get comfortable as well. He rested in front of Bagoas and was face to face with the younger man. "A little more?" The 'problem' was that he was hard. It was almost impossible not to grow aroused now that he had Hephaestion and Bagoas in bed with him. As the three of them were naked, he was trying not to press his erection against Bagoas' hip, not wanting to make the younger man feel uncomfortable.

 

"Stop squirming! How am I supposed to sleep like this?" Amused, Hephaestion probed Alexander's eyes. "Why don't you simply tell me you are hard?"

 

Alexander stuttered. "I… Hephaestion… you know why…" He didn't want to upset Bagoas.

 

Hephaestion shook his head. "Alexander… What do you want?" He had taught Bagoas to tell him his needs and the younger man felt confident enough to do so and now Alexander started to act shy! "What do you need?"

 

Alexander blinked. "Are you offering?"

 

Bagoas heard Alexander's breathing sped up. He didn't feel as uncomfortable as he had at the beginning when he had felt like an intruder in their bed and he wondered about Hephaestion's plans.

 

"What do you want me to offer to you?" Hephaestion kissed Bagoas' neck and whispered, "I love you… Just watch…" He then pushed himself up and crawled over Bagoas, only to collapse again next to Alexander. Rolling onto his side, he waited for Alexander to answer his question.

 

The sheet had slipped, exposing Alexander's groin to two pair of eyes. "I want you to take me, Hephaestion."

 

Hephaestion's eyes widened slightly. "Did you plan this? Like you planned my seduction on that balcony?"

 

"Maybe." Alexander reached for the oil, which he had hidden beneath his pillow and handed it to Hephaestion. "I spent today fantasizing about you and remembering all the times we made love. I have been hard most of the day and I need you to move inside me. Will you do that for me?"

 

Hephaestion answered that question by rolling Alexander onto his stomach. Making eye contact with Bagoas, he uncapped the vial and let the oil flow down Alexander's cleft. "There doesn't have to be any pain, Bagoas." He coated one finger with the oil and placed it against the twitching opening to Alexander's body. "But you know that, don't you?" His finger disappeared inside and Alexander moaned into the pillows. Hephaestion now grew quiet and concentrated on bringing Alexander pleasure.

 

After adding more oil, he slid a second finger inside and loosened Alexander's passage further. Once he was satisfied that his lover was ready for him, he coated his cock with more oil and blanketed Alexander's body with his. Pressing Alexander into the mattress, he took aim and penetrated his lover.

 

Alexander felt delirious now that Hephaestion was pressing him down and sheathing himself. Hephaestion's fingers found his, twined with them, and his lover used them as leverage when he thrust for that first time.

 

Bagoas almost felt jealous seeing Hephaestion move so gently inside Alexander. Hephaestion's caring nature showed clearly now that the auburn-haired man concentrated on bringing Alexander pleasure instead of taking what he wanted.

 

Hephaestion continued to press Alexander down and suckled the skin just above his lover's collar bone. At the same time he rotated his hips, brushing Alexander's prostate repeatedly.

 

"I am about…" Alexander failed to finish his sentence and surrendered to the ecstasy running through him. His cock twitched and the cream dripped onto the sheet.

 

A first spasm formed around his cock and Hephaestion stopped all movement. Alexander's inner muscles massaged him to orgasm and he grunted, pushing deeper inside Alexander's contracting passage during the moment of his release.

 

Alexander panted now that he carried the bulk of Hephaestion's weight. Each time Hephaestion made love to him he felt on fire. Each time was different and yet the same in its caring nature.

 

"I should get off." Hephaestion gathered his strength and managed to roll off of Alexander. Gasping for breath, he stared at the ceiling. Nothing compared to taking Alexander, not even *being* taken by Alexander. "The two of you are wearing me down." He didn't have to keep one lover satisfied, but two!

 

"Come here." Alexander, having recovered by now, pulled Hephaestion into his arms. "Bagoas?" Alexander inclined his head, indicating Bagoas should spoon behind Hephaestion. Using a corner of the sheet, he cleaned himself up. He didn't want to leave their warm nest and the bathroom tiles were cold at night. "Is everyone comfortable enough to go to sleep?" He hoped he was doing the right thing by ignoring Bagoas – he just tried to do what Hephaestion had told him, namely not to approach Bagoas sexually.

 

"Com… for…ta…" Hephaestion's voice faded to nothing now that sleep was crawling up on him.

 

Alexander chuckled, kissing Hephaestion goodnight. "Exhausted, are you?"

 

Bagoas chuckled as well, but his grin faded, seeing Alexander's puzzled expression. 

 

"Yes?" Alexander asked, curiously.

 

"We… this afternoon… we… he touched me… and I touched him." Bagoas couldn't remember ever feeling that shy before.

 

"And you enjoyed that?" Hephaestion's breath moved against his throat and Alexander stroked his beloved's hair.

 

"I did." Bagoas searched Alexander's eyes. A few days ago he would have lacked the courage to do so. "And you don't mind?"

 

"I am thrilled that you are warming up to Hephaestion." Alexander drew in a deep breath and smiled at Bagoas. "I hope you will have some sweet dreams, Bagoas."

 

"I think I will." Bagoas closed his eyes, pressed closer to Hephaestion and wrapped his arms around his lion. Slowly, he drifted off to sleep.

 

Alexander remained awake the longest. /Hephaestion is right; Bagoas is healing. It won't be long before he will extend his trust to me as well./ He fell asleep with that thought circling in his head and, unsurprisingly, he dreamt of the three of them making love together.

 

Part 7

 

"Are we ready to go?" Alexander had already started the car and was now waiting for Hephaestion and Bagoas to join him. Hephaestion had taken Bagoas under his wing, assuring the younger man that no one would recognize him and Alexander was confident his beloved could pull it off.

 

"Yes, we are." Hephaestion shooed Bagoas out of the house and then locked the door behind them. "Get into the car, Bagoas."

 

Bagoas made his way over to the car, opened the door, and seated himself in the back seat, allowing Hephaestion to take the passenger's seat. "I look ridiculous!"

 

Alexander merely grinned. "This way no one will recognize you, I promise." Hephaestion had pulled Bagoas' hair into a pony tail and had hidden the raven hair beneath a baseball cap. Sunglasses completed the outfit. Alexander waited until Hephaestion had put on his seatbelt and then added, "Looks like I can leave my sword at home. Such a pity. I was looking forward to doing some beheading."

 

Bagoas' eyes widened immensely. "What?"

 

"It was a joke," Hephaestion said, glaring at Alexander. "But I don't blame you for reacting like that, Bagoas. Getting used to this more… playful… side of Alexander, takes time." Hephaestion had used the word 'playful', but wasn't sure the word was adequate. Alexander was acting most odd.

 

"I am sure you will get used to it." Alexander steered the car away from their cottage and it wasn't long before they hit the freeway. Getting to the next big city would take them one hour and Alexander switched on the radio, listening to the music playing.

 

Hephaestion rested his head against the head rest and closed his eyes. Something told him that he was in for quite a ride this evening.

 

~~~

 

"Does anyone want a drink before we hit the cinema?" Alexander had sighted a nice, cozy-looking tavern and looked hopefully at his companions. "I am sure they also have tea and coffee." He knew he was extremely talkative, but that was because Bagoas remained nervous and he was trying to ease the younger man's nerves. "You are safe with us. No one will harm you."

 

Bagoas nodded his head once. He wanted to believe that, but being in town again made him feel cornered. He liked it much better at their cottage.

 

"I could do with some coffee." Hephaestion had picked up a leaflet which held more detailed information about the movies playing in the theatre. "Do you realize this film lasts three hours? I hope I won't fall asleep."

 

They seated themselves in the back and Alexander volunteered to fetch their drinks as the tavern was self-service. "Coffee for you." That was no surprise. Hephaestion was a true coffee addict.

 

"Make that espresso." Hephaestion sighed blissfully, already enjoying the prospect of downing some extra strong coffee.

 

"All right, espresso it is. And what would you like, Bagoas?"

 

"Tea please."

 

Alexander nodded once. "One tea and one espresso coming up." He made his way to the counter, placed his order, paid, and carried the tray back to their table.

 

"What did you get?" Hephaestion raised the tiny espresso cup and deeply inhaled the strong fragrance while Bagoas blew onto the hot surface of his tea.

 

"Hot chocolate with whipped cream." Alexander sipped the delicious liquid and leaned back, resting his back against the comfortable chair. "I am such a fortunate man to have the two of you at my side."

 

Bagoas blushed and lowered his gaze. He still felt shy, hearing Alexander say such a thing.

 

Hephaestion, on the other hand, just chuckled.

 

~~~

 

"I want to sit in the middle," Alexander decreed and made certain Hephaestion sat down at his right and Bagoas at his left.

 

Hephaestion indulged Alexander and let him have his way. He was still a bit worried about Alexander watching this film. It could bring back unpleasant memories – and not just for Alexander, but for Bagoas as well. *He* should be sitting in the middle, not Alexander. This way he couldn't reach out to both of them.

 

"Here, hold the popcorn." Alexander placed the bucket-load of popcorn on Hephaestion's lap and handed Bagoas the tray with drinks he had bought. Diet coke… Hephaestion had wanted it that way. Alexander made himself comfortable, grabbed hold of a handful of popcorn, and his drink. Using the straw he sucked the sweet cola into his mouth. "I am going to stay put for three hours."

 

Bagoas and Hephaestion exchanged a look. Hopefully, the film wouldn't disappoint Alexander.

 

~~~

 

Alexander grew eerily quiet during the film, worrying Hephaestion further. Hephaestion sucked in his breath when the movie hit a bit too close to home, especially where Alexander's mother was concerned. Alexander tensed beside him and Hephaestion twined his fingers with his lover's. One look told him that Bagoas had done the same and was also holding Alexander's hand. Leaning in closer, Hephaestion whispered, "Tell me what is on your mind."

 

Alexander cocked his head and stared at the scene in front of him. It was the eve before the battle and Hephaestion was seeking him out while he prayed to Phobos, the god of fear. "I am thinking how well they cast you, Hephaestion. One look at this actor's eyes tells me that he loves his Alexander. The emotions are all there."

 

Hephaestion agreed. "Yes, I think Jared Leto did well." But he was more interested in what Alexander was *not* saying. "You don't like the way Colin Farrell portrays you?"

 

"It is too early to tell." Alexander frowned at the next scene. "Some of the dialogue makes no sense. See? Alexander asks Hephaestion to stay the night and that reply… It makes no sense! I wouldn't have asked you to stay the night. I would just have pulled you inside."

 

Hephaestion smiled and squeezed Alexander's fingers.

 

Alexander eagerly nodded his head. "And look at that!" The Alexander on screen pulled Hephaestion close for a hug and then released him. "Not even a kiss! I would never have allowed you to leave without a thorough kiss!"

 

Hephaestion's smile widened. "I know that, Alexander."

 

~~~

 

"Darius was no coward!" Bagoas was surprised to hear himself say those words, but he had served the Great King and to some degree, he had loved him!

 

Alexander agreed. "I don't like the way that battle was portrayed either, Bagoas."

 

Hephaestion remained quiet, waiting for the next scene that would annoy Alexander. He had known that watching this movie was a bad idea.

 

~~~

 

"I do remember entering Babylon, Hephaestion. It was a glorious day when we set foot inside that city." Alexander smiled, recalling that day in history.

 

"But I wasn't part of the harem at that point." Bagoas shook his head. "Didn't they know that?"

 

Alexander, enjoying the sight of Francesco Bosch playing Bagoas, merely sighed. "He has your elegance, Bagoas… and he is quite handsome."

 

"He is too old to play me!" Bagoas gnashed his teeth.

 

Alexander realized his mistake. "But he is not as enthralling as you are, my lovely Bagoas."

 

Alexander's words appeased Bagoas – for now.

 

"It wasn't Stateira who pleaded for her family's lives," Hephaestion mumbled. "It was her mother."

 

"I was fond of that old lady," Alexander replied, agreeing with his beloved. A smile suddenly surfaced on his face as he heard 'He is Alexander too'. "Who thought they would remember that?"

 

"You really did say that, embarrassing me in front of everyone!" Hephaestion locked gazes with Alexander. "But then again, I think that everyone knew about our relationship at that point."

 

"And they were jealous of you, Hephaestion." Alexander smiled, seeing the movie Alexander look toward his Hephaestion for approval. "See the way he stares at you? I like the fact that he wants you to approve. That is a nice scene."

 

Hephaestion softly squeezed Alexander's hand. "You were King, Alexander. You needed no one's approval."

 

"That isn't true. I always sought your approval, Hephaestion."

 

Deep lines appeared on Hephaestion's brow. Now that he thought about it, Alexander was probably right. He had never realized that before though.

 

~~~

 

"Oh, that Jared Leto has a gorgeous body!" Alexander couldn't help but drool at the scene where Jared Leto entered their bedchamber in Babylon wearing nothing more than a hint of green silk.

 

Hephaestion felt a pang of jealousy. "He is only an actor, Alexander!"

 

Alexander smirked at Hephaestion. "Does that mean you don't think Colin Farrell is attractive?"

"Not as attractive as you are!" Hephaestion stated firmly.

 

"Ai…" Alexander's face contorted, seeing Colin Farrell dismissing Bagoas. "They could have given you some lines, Bagoas."

 

Bagoas agreed to some degree. "But remember that it wasn't my place to speak. You know that. I was taught to be silent."

 

"But still." Alexander drew in a deep breath. "Some lines would have been nice."

 

Hephaestion cast a look at Bagoas and wished he *was* sitting in the middle because he wanted to comfort the younger man. "Just remember the way you took care of Alexander. You kept him sane when I couldn't."

 

Hephaestion's words meant the world to Bagoas. "Thank you."

 

Alexander, in the meantime, was already discussing the next scene. "Can you believe that? You speak of love and I… I hug you for crying out loud! I hug you! What was the director thinking?"

"Oh, we know what you did on that balcony in Babylon, don't we? We just had the pleasure of reading all about it only yesterday." Hephaestion wiggled an eyebrow. "You delighted in taking me most of the nights we spent in Babylon."

 

"Yes, I know that, you know that, and now even Bagoas knows that. How can the director *not* know that? It was no secret that we shared a bed!" Alexander was growing irritated by the fact that their counterparts seemed to be limited to hugs. "This isn't right."

 

/Oh, one temper tantrum coming up,/ Hephaestion thought. He only hoped Alexander would keep his temper in check until after the movie had ended.

 

~~~

 

It was Alexander's turn to grow quiet, watching Hephaestion on screen cry while giving Colin a ring. They had never exchanged rings and something about that scene made his eyes water.

 

"Are you crying?" Alexander was making strange noises and Hephaestion was also having trouble remaining composed as well. So far, this was the scene that was getting the most to him.

 

"Maybe." Alexander forced back his tears and focused on the movie. "I like this Hephaestion. Jared Leto understands your character."

 

"Do you think so?" It was Bagoas who answered and not Hephaestion. "I am sorry, but I disagree. Yes, it is obvious he adores Alexander and loves him to death, but…" He cast a look at Hephaestion, who was curiously watching him. "I doubt Hephaestion would have made such a scene."

 

Hephaestion moistened his lips. "I didn't confront Alexander when he married Roxane that much is true, but I did feel hurt."

 

Alexander's eyes, revealing concern, focused on Hephaestion's. "Did you cry?"

 

"In private. Not when I was around you. I didn't want you to see my pain."

 

"Oh, Hephaestion." Alexander leaned in closer and managed to place a kiss onto Hephaestion's cheek. "Don’t you know I love you?"

 

Hephaestion tried to speak, but the lump of emotions in his throat made that hard. "Sometimes," he said, "I need to hear you say it."

 

"I love you, Hephaestion. I love you so much that I followed you down to the House of Death."

 

Yes, you did." Hephaestion forced himself to smile, but as he cast a look in Alexander's direction he also caught sight of Bagoas' tormented expression. This wasn't easy on Bagoas either.

 

~~~

 

"Did you love Roxane?" Hephaestion had never asked Alexander that question before but after watching that explicit sex scene, he had to ask.

 

"It was nothing like that," Alexander replied as he frowned in disapproval. "There were no weapons and there was little passion. I needed her in order to sire a son and that was it."

 

Hephaestion decided not to question Alexander further. He hated the way this movie was opening old wounds.

 

~~~

 

"Francesco Bosch knows how to move." Alexander couldn't help it; he devoured the dancer's agile body with his eyes. "But he doesn't compare to you, Bagoas." 

 

Bagoas wasn't insulted. He recognized a talented dancer when he saw one. "I am flattered, I guess." He hadn't thought he would have such a big part in the movie. Although he had no lines, the actor knew how to communicate his feelings with his body language and his expression. "They could have given him more depth though." The viewer learned nothing of his personal history, which would have enriched the character.

 

"Oh…" Alexander shifted excitedly on his chair when the dance came to an end. The dance *had* aroused him, but then… then something bad came back to haunt him. He had tried so hard to make his peace with the way Cleitus had died and now he had to watch it happen all over again. "I didn't want to kill him."

 

Hephaestion quickly rubbed Alexander's fingers. "The soldiers held an assembly afterwards and decided Cleitus deserved to die. They gave you the permission you needed."

 

"But it was too late." Alexander looked Hephaestion in the eye. "Normally, judgment is past *before* the sentence is carried out. I simply killed him."

 

Hephaestion was at a loss for once. He just didn't know how to comfort Alexander. "We can leave if you want."

 

"No, I want to see the rest as well."

 

~~~

 

Alexander watched the scene feeling inwardly torn. He loved the way Jared Leto's hair danced on his shoulders when he forbade Roxane to enter, but at the same time, he remembered how hard it had been on Hephaestion to be the strong one. He had caved in after killing Cleitus and had been catatonic for days.

 

Hephaestion simply held Alexander's hand throughout that scene and kept quiet. Alexander had probably not realized what watching this film would do to him. He had tried to warn his lover, but Alexander hadn't listened.

 

Bagoas, watching his counterpart, felt a strange connection to this Francesco Bosch. The actor had so little to work with and yet he managed to portray the love he bore Alexander. Bagoas admired the dancer for portraying him so well. When he had heard that he was also in the movie he had been worried they would make his character into a caricature, but that hadn't happened – thankfully.

 

~~~

 

Alexander watched how his army became rebellious, demanding they turned around and returned home. India had been his downfall in many ways. It was also where Hephaestion had contracted typhus. He had been a fool to always want more. He should have listened to his better half instead.

 

~~~

 

Alexander knew where they were headed and dreaded having to watch Hephaestion's death scene. Jared Leto played his part extremely convincingly and, at the end of the scene Alexander and Hephaestion were both crying softly. Seeing their counterparts interact, and seeing Hephaestion actually die, released a whole storm of emotions inside them. The only one who seemed unaffected was Bagoas, but that was because he was trying to acknowledge and deal with the mistakes he had made. He vividly remembered his hatred for Hephaestion and now realized he'd had no reason to loathe the older man so much.

 

"I can't watch this." Alexander felt emotional, seeing his counterpart throw himself at Hephaestion's corpse and cling to it.

 

Hephaestion wanted to comfort Alexander, but seeing this scene was also bringing back memories for him. He remembered the pain he had been in -- the emotional and physical pain.

 

"It wasn't like that," Alexander declared unexpectedly. "I didn't leave your room in order to confront Roxane after you died."

 

Bagoas nodded once. "You clung to Hephaestion's corpse for a long time. Crateros and the others had to pry your fingers loose."

 

"I am so sorry I died on you." Hephaestion knew he was apologizing for something that was out of his control, but he still regretted leaving Alexander behind. "I tried to fight, but my body just stopped functioning."

 

Alexander brought Hephaestion's hand close to his lips and pressed an urgent kiss on its back. "Just don't ever leave me again."

 

Hephaestion was afraid to make that promise, knowing that one day death would claim them.

 

~~~

 

"Was it really that bad?" Hephaestion whispered his question, seeing the deterioration of Alexander on screen. "Did you really turn to drinking?"

 

"Sometimes I did," admitted Alexander, "but not to such a degree. I still had a kingdom to rule." A deep sigh left his lips. "It is true though. I still heard your voice and I saw your face. Not even Bagoas could soothe me when the nightmares were upon me and he tried. He tried to love me."

 

Bagoas closed his eyes, remembering those horrific days. "But he wouldn't listen to me. He only wanted to join you, Hephaestion."

 

"And you did." Hephaestion recalled Alexander's admission that he had drunk poison. While Colin Farrell died on screen, Hephaestion stared into Alexander's eyes. "I don't know what there is left to say, except I love you."

 

Alexander didn't watch 'his' death scene and preferred to look at Hephaestion instead. "I kept my promise."

 

Bagoas' eyes released tears, realizing how deep their love went and for some reason they had chosen to share that love with him. He vowed to never disappoint them, never betray them, and never take them for granted again. Bagoas, the eunuch, had finally grown silent inside his head and a new voice echoed through his thoughts. It was the 'real' Bagoas, the 'new' Bagoas, who had cast off the chains created in the past.

 

He loved them and that was enough.

 

~~~

 

After the movie had ended they returned to the tavern. Hephaestion was surprised when Alexander ordered espresso. "You can drink alcohol, you know. I will drive home."

 

"I don't want to drink any wine." He had disliked the impression the director had painted of him. He had never been a drunk; had never drunk so much wine that he had passed out.

 

This time, Hephaestion fetched their drinks and arranged for himself to sit between them. Both Alexander and Bagoas were quiet – too quiet as far as he was concerned. They were brooding and it was up to him to find a way to lift their spirits. "I still think they should have kissed at least once."

 

That statement drew Alexander's attention and he forced his dark thoughts into a corner of his mind. He managed a smile and replied, "They should have had sex upon that balcony like we did."

 

"Maybe you could perform the dance from the movie for us, Bagoas? You should be agile enough to bend those ways." Hephaestion knew he was doing the right thing when Bagoas smiled at him in mock shock.

 

"You liked that dance? I can do better."

 

"Of course you can." Hephaestion petted Bagoas' hand.

 

"The only one they miscast was Cassander. He was not that good looking." Alexander sipped his coffee.

 

"But just as nasty," Hephaestion added.

 

"I still think they should have had sex upon that balcony! I am going to write Oliver Stone a letter and tell him exactly what we did and how we did it!"

 

"Oh no," Hephaestion replied quickly, trying to talk some sense in to Alexander. "You are not sending him that pornographic snippet!"

 

"Why not?" Alexander gave Hephaestion his most innocent look. "You think they should have kissed as well!"

 

"A kiss would have been nice. I don't think Jared Leto would have minded." Hephaestion grinned, smugly. He was most satisfied with the way the actor had handled his character.

 

Alexander thought it best not to mention that he wouldn't have minded kissing Jared Leto. He would gladly have taken Colin Farrell's place during that balcony scene and then Jared Leto wouldn't have gotten away so easily. He would have shown Jared Leto what it was like to be claimed by a King. But he should probably keep that information to himself. That would be his little fantasy.

 

Part 8

 

In the end, it was Alexander driving them home. Although Hephaestion had offered to do so, Alexander had declined the offer. He had studied his beloved in the tavern and an unfathomable expression had haunted the normally calm eyes. Hephaestion was more upset than he was letting on and Alexander wondered why. Asking that question would wait until they got home and had some privacy.

 

Bagoas' reactions had also surprised him. The younger man had told them that Francesco Bosch's acting had pleased him and that he might even take up dancing again. Alexander had expected him to be upset, considering Bagoas had lived through both their deaths two millennia ago. First, he had seen Hephaestion die and then Alexander, but nothing like that had happened. Bagoas seemed relaxed, even happy.

 

And how did he feel himself? The film had opened old wounds, but he had quickly suppressed those memories, especially the ones about his mother, father, and Cleitus. Something told him it wasn't that easy for Hephaestion to do the same.

 

Overall, he had approved of the movie. The director had tried to give a fair and above all realistic impression of his life, not letting out the shameful things he had done. It had been a well-balanced film.

 

Bagoas wondered why the other two men remained quiet. Alexander had even put on the radio to drive away the silence. His controlled reaction to the film surprised himself as well. He had expected to feel 'deeper' about certain events in the past, but the film had exorcised some of his demons instead. He had been a pebble in the wind and had been blown first one way – to Darius – and then the other – to Alexander. He had never had much influence in the past: not on Alexander's actions nor Hephaestion's. Realizing that had given him peace of mind and certain aspects of his personality had shifted, strengthening him. For the first time in both his lives he felt alive, empowered, and like he belonged. He had found a home with Alexander and Hephaestion.

 

Hephaestion… For some reason he worried about his lion. The blue eyes looked sullen, like Hephaestion was troubled and he hoped he would get a chance to be there for the older man like Hephaestion had been there for him.

 

~~~

 

"What's wrong, Hephaestion?" Alexander seated himself on their bed. Oddly enough, Hephaestion had headed straight to their bedroom instead of the couch in their living room. The eyes that looked up at him were still troubled. "Please tell me."

 

Bagoas, who had planned on comforting Hephaestion as well, froze in the doorway. Did he have the right to infringe on their privacy now that Alexander was already at Hephaestion's side?

 

But Hephaestion raised a hand and gestured for Bagoas to approach. Bagoas complied and knelt on the floor, in between Hephaestion's legs. Like he had done millennia ago, he rested his head on Hephaestion's knee and allowed the older man to pet his hair. The only difference with the past was that it was Hephaestion petting his hair and not Alexander.

 

"Hephaestion?" Alexander tried again. This time he placed the palm of his hand against Hephaestion's face and he rubbed the skin. "Why won't you tell me what is wrong?"

 

"It is nothing really," Hephaestion answered eventually, still stroking Bagoas' hair and rubbing his face against Alexander's hand. "I just realized that my death first triggered yours, Alexander, and then Bagoas'. If I hadn't died…"

 

"Didn't we already talk about this?" Alexander drew in a deep breath. "If anyone is to blame it is me for dragging you into India with me."

 

But Hephaestion's depressed mood continued and his soulful eyes looked at Bagoas' raven hair. There were no words to describe what he felt and he was afraid to hint at what he really needed, knowing that Bagoas wasn't ready yet to give him that.

 

As if reading Hephaestion's thoughts, Bagoas suddenly lifted his head and looked into the misty eyes. Hephaestion had never been good at hiding his emotions and Bagoas saw the raw need in them. Oddly enough, he felt comfortable with the prospect of making love with Hephaestion. He hadn't thought he would.

 

Bagoas took the lead and unbuttoned Hephaestion's shirt. Seeing Alexander's puzzled look, he voiced his thoughts, enlightening both men. "You always were the strong one, Hephaestion. You supported Alexander in your first life, and ever since the three of us met, you have been putting my needs first. Tonight, that will be different. Tonight, Alexander and I will put you first. You don't have to be the strong one any longer. You can let go, Hephaestion."

 

Alexander finally understood and nodded his head. "Bagoas is right, my beloved Hephaestion." The startled look that Hephaestion gave him showed him how unexpected this was for his beloved. Hephaestion had never expected them to work out why he felt depressed. "Why don't you lie down?" Alexander guided Hephaestion onto his back and let Bagoas remove the shirt. He didn't know just how far Bagoas was able to go and he was determined to allow Bagoas to make his own call. If the younger man began to feel uncomfortable, he wanted Bagoas to stop.

 

Bagoas felt no doubt, no fear, and no questions. He slid his fingers below the fabric of the shirt and pushed the fabric aside, baring Hephaestion's impressive chest to him. He moved onto the bed, knelt next to Hephaestion's trembling form, and leaned in closer to press a kiss onto Hephaestion's sternum. His elegant hands caressed the flat abdomen and eventually moved higher, gently caressing the nipples, which were already growing hard. One look to his right told him that Alexander had been busy as well.

 

Alexander had moved off the bed and had knelt on the floor. Hephaestion's legs still dangled from the bed and Alexander had moved in between them. He undid the zipper and slowly pulled the jeans down Hephaestion's thighs until he could completely remove them. "Still not wearing any underwear, my dear Hephaestion?" Hephaestion was hard and Alexander gave his lover a wicked smile.

 

"I must have forgotten to put some on…" Hephaestion's breath came in short gasps; Alexander and Bagoas moved like predators, ready to eat and devour him and that thought made him quiver with passion. Their actions were unexpected, but certainly not unwelcome. Having both his lovers tend to his needs was a dream come true. "What are you going to do?"

 

Bagoas removed the elastic in his hair and the strands tumbled down his shoulders. The shirt was next to go and he briefly had to leave the bed in order to remove his jeans and underwear. Crawling back onto the bed, he moved toward Hephaestion on all fours and then straddled the older man.

 

Shocked, Hephaestion stared at the now naked man. "But Bagoas…" He didn't want Bagoas to do anything that would cause him emotional pain!

 

"You worry too much about me," Bagoas murmured as he rubbed his lower body against Hephaestion's groin. "Contrary to what you think I am not made of glass." Expressing himself in this sexual way made him feel free and empowered; after all, he *was* in control here. He bowed his head to lick Hephaestion's abdomen and his long hair teased Hephaestion's nipples, making his lover squirm and pant heavily.

 

Alexander had used that moment to remove his clothes as well. He didn't know what Bagoas had in mind for Hephaestion, but he wanted to be ready to be there for Hephaestion in whatever way his beloved needed him. Ignoring the burning heat in his groin, he returned to his kneeling position between Hephaestion's legs and ran his fingertips along his beloved's powerful inner thighs. The legs parted further and Alexander drew in a deep breath before nuzzling his lover's scrotum. He pushed his nose against the velvet pouch and inhaled Hephaestion's musky scent.

 

"Oh…" Hephaestion's fingers clawed at the sheet. He had never expected them to team up and to drive him out of his mind. The fact that Bagoas' fingers twisted a nipple and that those lips closed over the other hard nub of flesh was almost enough to make him come. He managed to control himself, but then Alexander's tongue lashed out and curled around his cock, licking and teasing his erection. "I am…" He wanted to warn them, wanted to tell them that they were going too fast and that he was about to come, but when Alexander sucked on the head of his member, his orgasm was ripped from him and seed erupted from the head.

 

Alexander gave Bagoas a wondering look. The raven-haired man seemed please that Hephaestion had come, but Alexander had no idea why.

 

Bagoas then leaned in closer and whispered into Alexander's ear. "That way he will last longer."

 

Alexander blinked. "You actually planned this?"

 

"Guilty," Bagoas admitted, returning to running his hands down Hephaestion's abdomen. "Hephaestion?" Hooded eyes met his and Bagoas smiled seductively. "You taught me to tell you what I need. Now, I think I know what you need, but I want you to tell me at any rate. How do you want us?"

 

"Bagoas, you don't have to do this." Hephaestion's body still trembled with ecstasy, and yes, he wanted more, but not at Bagoas' expense.

 

"I want this." Bagoas, still straddling Hephaestion's waist, leaned in closer and rested his upper body atop his lover's. He placed his hands on either side of Hephaestion's head and kissed the quivering bottom lip. "Now tell me what you want." It was true; he wanted to make love with Hephaestion.

 

"I want to feel someone inside of me and…" Hephaestion blushed. "I don't know what I want… What I need." And to some extent that was true. "You decide," he said, probing Bagoas' eyes. Something told him his younger lover understood his needs better than he did.

 

"All right," Bagoas whispered, considering his options. "I will be right back, my lion." He planted a firm kiss on Hephaestion's lips and then raised himself. Hephaestion moaned at feeling him move away, but Bagoas had to talk to Alexander.

 

Alexander felt proud, realizing Bagoas had assumed control. The younger man seemed to have found a way to deal with his fears and insecurities. A moment later, Bagoas' lips almost touched his ear and he listened to his younger lover's whispers. The smile that started on his lips quickly spread over his entire face and reached his eyes. Yes, he definitely agreed with Bagoas' plan.

 

Hephaestion watched them. Not knowing what they were going to do excited him and made him grow erect again. Bagoas had been right; he would last longer this way. But what were their plans for him?

 

"Roll onto your side, my beloved Hephaestion." Alexander climbed on the bed and stretched out. He rolled Hephaestion onto his side until they were face to face with each other. "Bagoas is right, you know. You are always the strong one. It is about time you let go for a little while." He curled his arms around Hephaestion and kissed his beloved deeply.

 

At the same time, Bagoas had managed to locate the lubricant and he settled behind Hephaestion. He was acting on instinct here and that instinct told him to put Hephaestion at the center of their ministrations. Hephaestion had also told him that he wanted to be taken and Bagoas suspected that it would be best if Hephaestion took Alexander in turn. /I am not ready yet to be intimate with Alexander, but I want to make love to Hephaestion./ And so his decision was made to claim Hephaestion. Never in either of his lives had he ever imagined himself in this position.

 

Hephaestion finally realized Bagoas' intentions. His stomach twisted with excitement and his erection moved against Alexander's. "I love the two of you."

 

"We know you do." Alexander saw Bagoas' coat his erection with the lubricant and realized this was the first time he saw the former eunuch in that position. In the past, Bagoas had always been on the bottom.

 

Hephaestion blinked, feeling slick, hard flesh press against his backside. "Oh… yes…" The fact that Bagoas was going to take him made it even more special. He knew how hard taking this step had to be on his younger lover.

 

"How do you want me?" Bagoas moved closer to Hephaestion's body, guided the top leg onto Alexander's thigh and parted the older man's buttocks. "Slowly? Fast? Deep? Shallow?"

 

"Slowly at first…" Hephaestion brutally claimed Alexander's lips at the moment of penetration. Bagoas was bigger than he had thought and adjusting to the growing bulk inside him took time. Taking care not to breathe too deeply, Hephaestion forced his body to relax and to receive the growing length inside him.

 

This was new to Bagoas and he hoped he was doing everything right. He felt nervous and excited, being inside Hephaestion's body, and the sensation was almost enough to drive him out of his mind with pleasure. Once he had sheathed himself completely, he became motionless and wrapped his arms around Hephaestion. "I am only able to do this because of your love, Hephaestion. You healed my wounds and took away my fears. I am whole again thanks to you."

 

Tears appeared in Hephaestion's eyes, hearing those words. "I tried my best…"

 

Alexander judged the time had come to complete the circle and reached for the lubricant. "Are you ready for more, Hephaestion?"

 

Dazed, Hephaestion felt Alexander rub lubricant onto his twitching cock. "What are you doing?"

 

Alexander smiled wickedly and then turned onto his side, facing away from Hephaestion. Little by little he began to push back until Hephaestion's cock pressed against the entrance to his body. "Come on, Hephaestion, you *have* done this before!" He pulled his knees close to his chest and relaxed in anticipation of what was to come.

 

Hephaestion couldn't move about that much as he didn't want Bagoas' member to accidentally slide out of his body. He placed his hands on Alexander's hips and pulled him closer, literally pulling his lover onto his hard flesh.

 

A soft, eager sigh left Alexander's lips, feeling his lover slide home. He pressed back and Hephaestion managed to slide in the rest of the way. His beloved Hephaestion was now firmly buried inside him.

 

Realizing it was up to him to start their love making, Bagoas carried out his first thrust. Being inside Hephaestion and feeling that warm, tight glove around his member felt like heaven. He might grow used to being inside Hephaestion's body!

 

Bagoas' thrust caused Hephaestion to move inside Alexander, making the blond man whimper with pleasure.

 

"More, Bagoas… More!" Alexander had seldom felt this helpless before. He couldn't control their lovemaking or the speed of Bagoas' thrusts. It was up to Bagoas to make them come.

 

Bagoas complied and thrust again… and again.

 

Hephaestion bit his bottom lip. Bagoas' thrusts had been shallow and slow at first, but now his lover was picking up speed and penetrating him deeper. The tip of Bagoas' member rubbed forcefully against his prostate and he slammed into Alexander in turn, unable to keep back.

 

Alexander surrendered to the thrusting motion and accepted Hephaestion's deep strokes inside him. "I won't last long," he whispered in between thrusts. Hephaestion rubbed his sweet spot with each stroke and was already pushing him over the edge.

 

Alexander came first. He didn't even need to touch himself in order to reach climax. Hephaestion's deep thrusts had him whimpering and cream erupted from the head, dripping onto the sheet.

 

Alexander's orgasm triggered Hephaestion's, who was caught between his two lovers. He didn't want to come yet as Bagoas was still moving inside him, but feeling Alexander's inner muscles contract around him were his undoing, and he came hard, biting down in Alexander's shoulder until he drew droplets of blood.

 

Bagoas had never felt anything like it before and his eyes widened as he experienced the involuntary contractions around his member. He had never known it would feel like this and he stilled his movements, wanting to savor this incredible sensation. Coming inside Hephaestion was a divine experience and he wished this moment in time would never stop.

 

They lay panting for long minutes, unwilling to withdraw from their lovers' bodies just yet. In the end, it was Alexander who moved first. Hephaestion's softened member had slipped from his slick passage and Alexander slowly turned onto his other side. He kissed Hephaestion and smiled, sated.

 

Bagoas didn't want to leave Hephaestion's body, but his lax member no longer enabled him to stay inside and he whimpered when he stopped feeling connected to Hephaestion.

 

Hephaestion in turn, moved onto his back, opened his arms, and pulled his lovers close. "Thank you. That was an amazing gift."

 

Bagoas rested his head on Hephaestion's heaving chest and met Alexander's conspiring gaze. His plan had worked out well.

 

"I am especially proud of you, Bagoas, to have taken this step." Hephaestion kissed the crown of Bagoas' raven head.

 

"Taking that step was surprisingly easy," Bagoas admitted, tilting his head so he could look into Hephaestion's clouded eyes. The pupils had dilated and Hephaestion's eyes shone with an inner light he had never seen before. "I would like things to continue like this." His gaze traveled from Hephaestion to Alexander. "In time I will be ready to…"

 

"There is no rush," Alexander said, cutting Bagoas short. He raised a hand and stroked the raven hair. "I love you unconditionally, don't you know that?" He inched a little closer and kissed Bagoas. "We have all the time in the world."

 

Hephaestion released a deep sigh, thanking the gods that they had stayed clear of the mistakes they had made in their first life. /We are finally together – the three of us and I want it to always stay this way./ Hephaestion then whispered, "I promise that I will find the two of you in our next life as well. I shall love you forever."

 

Bagoas and Alexander smiled at each other. Yes, a strong connection had been formed between the three of them and there was no doubt in their minds whatsoever that they *would* find each other in the next life.

 

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Unexpected   
Part 1

"What are you doing out here on your own?" Alexander seated himself next to Bagoas. The younger man had been sitting on the sand, staring at the waves for some time, but then the dark eyes looked up to meet his inquiring gaze. "Hephaestion already went to bed. He missed you."

Bagoas returned to staring at the waves. "What time is it?"

Alexander blinked as he heard the odd question, but then indulged Bagoas and checked the time. "One minute to midnight. Why?" 

Bagoas smiled secretly and once more avoided looking at Alexander. "It was my birthday. I became nineteen today."

Alexander frowned. "Why didn't you tell us?" Another look at his wrist watch told him that it was midnight and that Bagoas' birthday had come to an end. 

"I didn’t want you to fuss over it. You already did so much for me." Bagoas turned his attention back to Alexander and looked into the brown eyes. "Hephaestion and you are the only family I have – ever will have. That is the greatest gift you could ever give me." 

"Still, you should have told us. We would have liked to congratulate you and pamper you for the day." Alexander wavered; although the three of them had made love the other night, Bagoas still had to initiate any intimacy between the two of them. Bagoas still kept his distance and Alexander respected that, but right now he wanted to bury Bagoas in a hug. He slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around Bagoas' shoulders.

Alexander's affectionate gesture surprised Bagoas at first, but then he leaned his back against Alexander's chest. The older man's arms held him tight and Bagoas closed his eyes in bliss. "You already pamper me each day of my life. The things you did for me… The things Hephaestion did for me… You gave me a home when I had none. You love me unconditionally. Do you have any idea how long it took me to accept that?"

Alexander rested his chin on Bagoas' shoulder and stared at the approaching waves. "Bagoas, you complete our life here, you know that, don't you? We love you."

"Yes, I know that. I accept that." Bagoas' head lolled toward Alexander's and he pressed a kiss onto the other man's cheek. "Thank you for giving me the time I need to grow accustomed to having you in my life again."

"You can have all the time you need." Alexander drew in a deep breath and smiled, ruefully. "In my first life I took what I wanted. I didn't consider the things you needed in turn. It warms my heart to see you set boundaries, even if that means you are keeping me at a distance. I want you to do what you are comfortable with. I don't want you to do anything against your will."

"Alexander?" Bagoas turned in the embrace and looked Alexander in the eye. "Would you ever allow me to take you?"

Bagoas' question stunned Alexander. "I haven't given that idea any thought yet, Bagoas. It never crossed my mind that we would ever find ourselves in this situation." 

"You don't have to answer the question," Bagoas said quickly, not wanting to hear Alexander deny him. 

Alexander shook his head, determined to not allow this. "Bagoas, your question surprised me. That is all. Do you desire to take me then?"

Bagoas cocked his head, considering Alexander's question. "I don't know, Alexander. I never thought about us being together in that way."

"Then why did you ask me?"

"I was curious… That is all." Now that they were face to face, Bagoas brought his arms up behind Alexander's back and hugged him close. He buried his face against Alexander's chest and decided that life was good – and even better at nineteen.

~~~

A few minutes later, Alexander and Bagoas returned to their cottage. They stepped over Peritas, who was asleep near the doorway, and headed for the bed. Hephaestion was already asleep and hugging a pillow, since his lovers had deserted him. Bagoas and Alexander removed their clothes and slipped between the sheets. Bagoas spooned up behind Hephaestion and the dark-haired man immediately moved into his arms, pressing close. Alexander stretched out in front of Hephaestion and wrapped his arms around him. Hephaestion rested his head against Alexander's shoulder and his lovers' arms held him close. Alexander tilted his head just a little so he was able to look into Bagoas' eyes. "Happy birthday, Bagoas."

"Thank you, Alexander." Bagoas had spoken the truth when he had said that they had already given him the greatest possible gift – their love warmed and sustained him and that was all he needed to be happy in life.

~~~

"Where are you going?" Alexander's sleep had been light – troubled by Bagoas' decision to keep the fact that it was his birthday from them. He was determined to find a way to make things up to Bagoas and had been thinking about ways to do so most of the night. 

"I want to start practicing my dancing," Bagoas replied as he smoothed Hephaestion's hair away from the older man's face. "Stay with him, Alexander. Hephaestion might not show it, but these last few days have been hard on him as well. Watching that movie brought back painful memories." 

Alexander nodded his head. "I know. I have seen *that* look in his eyes." Hephaestion seldom felt depressed, but those normally so sparkling eyes had been hooded of late. Now, he regretted convincing Hephaestion to watch "Alexander" with him. But what was done was done and he had to deal with the consequences to his best ability. 

Bagoas snuck soundlessly out of their bedroom and went into the living room where he uncovered Hephaestion's laptop and switched it on. He had discovered the joys of surfing the net only recently and had been delighted to find a few sites dedicated to him – Bagoas. He had also joined several mailing lists and Live Journal Communities, and, in doing so, had learned that some writers delighted in writing homo-erotic stories about the three of them. He had become a silent admirer and lurker on several sites, reading the slash there. 

He didn't dare leave comments though and contented himself with reading the morning's additions. Ah, more Hephaestion slash… Those were his favorite stories, especially when the writer slashed Hephaestion with him and not Alexander. This morning a story with a threesome was waiting for him in his inbox, and he chuckled, seeing the pairing was Hephaestion/Alexander/Bagoas. Bagoas settled down on the couch and giggled through most of the story. He had seldom enjoyed himself this much!

~~~

"Good morning, Hephaestion." Alexander pulled his beloved close and pressed a morning kiss on Hephaestion's lips. The eyes opened and pools of blue stared back at him. Those eyes were hooded though, as if they were trying to keep something from him. "Happy to see me?"

"Always." Hephaestion drew in a deep breath and managed to struggle free from the memories of his nightmares. He could only hope that neither Bagoas, nor Alexander realized he was having nightmares, for he didn't want to worry them. "There is nothing better than waking up and seeing your eyes first thing in the morning." 

Alexander believed Hephaestion was speaking the truth, but he also felt vexed, sensing that his lover was keeping something from him. "You know I am not good at discussing feelings, Hephaestion. It is only because of your love and dedication that I didn't end up as an emotional cripple. So are you really going to make me do this?"

Hephaestion cringed. "Do what?" 

"Do I really have to drag out of you what is wrong? Your eyes never hide a thing, Hephaestion, and right now they are hooded. That tells me you are worried. What are you worried about? Please tell me." 

"You are getting better at this." Hephaestion smiled at his lover. "It is nothing really. Don't worry about it."

"How can I not worry about you now that I have noticed that you don't feel comfortable around me?"

"Alexander, it has nothing to do with you." Hephaestion raised a hand and caressed Alexander's blond hair. 

"Then tell me what this *is* about, Hephaestion. I hate being unable to comfort you." Alexander gave Hephaestion his most pleading look. 

"I am having nightmares," Hephaestion admitted in the end. He closed his eyes and rested his head against Alexander's shoulder. Immediately, strong arms tightened around him in an effort to make him feel better. 

"What are they about?" Alexander's bottom lip trembled. How was it possible that he hadn't noticed that his lover's sleep was being disturbed?

"They are about the film. Fiction and fact are mingling and… I keep seeing your death scene over and over again." Hephaestion hadn't wanted to admit that, but Alexander's closeness and the request to share his worries had made him say those words. "I never realized how badly my death affected you."

Alexander's heart contracted painfully. "It wasn't your fault I died, Hephaestion!" Alexander shook his head, wondering how he could get through to his lover. "Please look at me, Hephaestion." He tilted his lover's head and looked into the clouded eyes. "I am so sorry that we went to see that film. I knew you didn't want to go and yet I convinced you to accompany me. Hephaestion, you always try to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, why? You are not to blame. No one is to blame!"

Hephaestion looked thoughtfully at Alexander. "Rationally, I know that, but emotionally…" His voice drifted off, indicating Alexander couldn't simply chase away his worries and his nightmares. This was something that really troubled him and his worries manifested the strongest in his dreams. 

Alexander swallowed hard. "Hephaestion, I failed you in the past. Why didn't I listen to you? You always offered me sound advice and I never listened. But I am listening now. Are you also listening to me, Hephaestion?"

"I am trying, Alexander, but my heart…"

"You always feel too much – too deeply, my beloved Hephaestion." Alexander pressed a kiss onto Hephaestion's hair. "You always were the strong one, even now. But you don't have to be the strong one the entire time, Hephaestion. You can lean on me… even on Bagoas."

Hephaestion immediately changed the subject, eager to get away from discussing his nightmares. "Bagoas already left the bed?"

Alexander recognized the distraction for what it was, but allowed it. "Yes, he said he wanted to practice his dancing. I am glad that he is dancing again. I always loved seeing him move."

"Dancing?" Hephaestion chuckled; he forced himself to think of Bagoas and not of his nightmares. "The first thing Bagoas does in the morning is to go online and check his mail. He doesn't think I know, but I have seen what he has been up to." Hephaestion gave Alexander a conspiring look. "Following Bagoas' traces on the net led me to a world of homo-erotic stories, Alexander, and he devours them all. I actually wonder when he will start writing one of his own. After all, you set the example with that pornographic snippet of yours."

Alexander stared at Hephaestion with big eyes. "Say again?"

"I know that he joined several mailing lists. The first time he joined one, he accidentally used my email address to subscribe to the group. It all started after Oliver Stone's film hit the movie theatre. It appears the ladies really like our counterparts and they are now writing something they call 'slash'. They put us in all kinds of situations and their goal is always the same: to get us in bed together."

Alexander blinked again. "People are writing about us… the three of us… having sex?" 

"Yes." Hephaestion loved seeing the stunned expression in Alexander's eyes. "I have read a few of those stories and they are just as explicit as your snippet." 

"Say that again?" Alexander had a hard time believing what he was hearing.

"These ladies seem to delight in putting you on top, Alexander. You have no idea about the positions they put us in, especially when they add Bagoas to the mix." Hephaestion stretched like a cat and then propped himself up on an elbow. "I will show you where to find those stories… Oh, and for some reason they also like to slash Jared Leto with Colin Farrell. I wonder why that is." He gave Alexander a wink. 

Alexander, being reminded of his own fantasy concerning Jared Leto quickly changed their topic. "Speaking about Bagoas… Did you know it was his birthday yesterday? He didn't tell me until midnight. He didn't want us to make a fuss over it."

"His birthday?" Hephaestion's mirth instantly deflated. "And he didn't tell us?" 

"I was thinking that maybe we could throw him a belated birthday party. I doubt he will expect something like that." Alexander relished fingering Hephaestion's long hair between his fingertips. "I could go into town to get some presents." 

But Hephaestion shook his head. "No, we need to do better than that. I have had some things on my mind for a while now, like opening a bank account for Bagoas. I do not want him to be dependant on us. If he has his own money, he will gain some independence at least. I don't want him to have to ask us for money when he needs something." He could easily spare the money. "And there are some other things that demand our attention as well."

"Like what?" Alexander threatened to lose himself as he stared into the unfathomable depths of Hephaestion's blue eyes. 

"Like contacting the police. I know that we decided against attracting any attention, but the fact remains that Bagoas doesn't have any papers. He needs a passport and he needs to feel safe when he steps onto the streets. He cannot hide here forever. We can't allow that." Hephaestion pushed himself upright and pulled his knees close to his chest. After wrapping his arms around his knees, he rested his chin atop of them and studied Alexander, who was still stretched out on his side. "I want you to take Bagoas to Athens with you."

Alexander's eyebrow moved higher. "Why?"

"You used to be a police officer. That might make communicating with the Greek police force easier. You can find out if they intend to persecute Bagoas, or use him as a witness. We need to do this, Alexander. *You* need to do this!"

"And you want Bagoas and me to travel without you? Why is that?" Alexander propped himself up onto an elbow. He wasn't sure he liked what Hephaestion was suggesting. 

"Because you know how the system works. You were a police officer once. Plus, there is the fact that Bagoas and you need to grow close again. Spending time away from me might help."

"And you will stay here? All alone?"

"Someone needs to look after Boukephalos and Peritas." Hephaestion paused and gave Alexander another thoughtful look. "If you want to I can always join you later, but I do think that it is important that you spend some quality time with Bagoas."

"I don't want the three of us apart." Alexander moved until he sat cross-legged next to Hephaestion. Tenderly, he brushed a few strands away from his lover's face. "And what about celebrating his birthday?"

"I am certain you could create an opportunity to go shopping without Bagoas at your side, but think about it: wouldn't the best gift be his freedom? If he were sure that those pimps no longer presented a danger, his life would change drastically. And he needs his papers. Without them I can't even open that bank account for him." Hephaestion sighed and leaned into the caress which Alexander bestowed onto his face. "Do fun things with him when you are in the city. Remember, Bagoas never had the chance to be a child, not in this life and not in his first life."

"You make some valid points, but I still don't like the idea of separation. Come with us."

But Hephaestion shook his head firmly. "Trust me on this, Alexander. Have I ever given you bad advice?'

"No, you haven't." Alexander leaned in closer and kissed Hephaestion's lips. Listening closely, he could hear Bagoas giggling in the living room. He gave his lover a questioning look.

"Oh, he probably found more erotic stories on the net. Maybe you should send in your snippet, Alexander. The ladies would love reading your take on the balcony scene." 

Alexander grinned. "I reckon this means that they also wanted to see some steamy sex in that movie?"

Hephaestion laughed warmly. "I am certain of that." His laughter changed to chuckling and he rubbed his cheek against Alexander's hand, which was still cupping his face. "Do you want me to make some calls and get you rooms and plane tickets?"

Alexander had hoped that Hephaestion had forgotten about his idea, but it appeared that his beloved was determined to make him do this. "I am going to miss you." The mere thought of being apart from Hephaestion made his stomach twist with worry. "You have no idea just how much I still need you."

Hephaestion's eyes turned a startling light-blue and it seemed as if they were illuminated from within. "What if I promise to join you in a few days? Would that make you feel more at ease? Spend the next week with Bagoas and I will join you on the eighth day of your trip. How does that sound?"

Would he survive being apart from his Hephaestion for seven days? "I will try not to crumble – I will be strong for you… I will do this for you and for Bagoas."

Hephaestion pressed a chaste kiss onto Alexander's brow and wrapped his arms around his lover's waist. "We should probably buy him his very own laptop for his birthday. Then he can read those snippets whenever he wants… Maybe you can give him some pointers on how to write explicit sex scenes?"

"In that case I should get my own laptop as well as I plan on continuing that book about you. I only just got started, you know." 

"That is exactly what I was afraid of," Hephaestion said in a teasing manner. "I am surrounded by slash addicts."

"Who knows, maybe my research will lead me to some interesting new positions we can try." Alexander gave his lover a hopeful look. 

Hephaestion laughed, shook his head, and hugged Alexander close. He would never tire of having Alexander as his lover.

~~~

Bagoas closed Hephaestion's laptop. After reading one of those snippets he found himself hard and in need of release. He could go into the bathroom and take care of it himself, but reading that story had made him long to feel Alexander and Hephaestion's hands on him. Panting softly, he made his way over to the doorway and he stared at Alexander and Hephaestion, who were hugging on the bed. "Am I intruding?" He still felt somewhat insecure about invading their privacy. 

Alexander and Hephaestion simultaneously looked at Bagoas and instantly noticed the younger man's flushed state. It was impossible to miss the fact that he was aroused and Hephaestion gave him an encouraging smile. "Why don't you join us, my love?"

Bagoas' gaze swept across Alexander's face to find out if the blond man approved of Hephaestion calling him that.

Alexander reassured Bagoas by giving him a blinding smile and extending his hand to him. "Come over here." If Hephaestion's observations were right, then reading those snippets had aroused Bagoas. The fact that Bagoas came to them for release warmed his heart. Bagoas loved and trusted them. All the younger man needed was time. 

"I… I was wondering… hoping actually… You see, I am…" Bagoas blushed as he took hold of Alexander's hand. He allowed the blond man to pull him onto the bed and he lowered his gaze, feeling too embarrassed to look them in the eye. 

"Hush now; there is no need to speak." Hephaestion moved on the bed until he was kneeling behind Bagoas. He then wrapped his arms around his younger lover and pulled Bagoas' back close to his chest. His lips found their way to Bagoas' neck and he pressed sweet kisses onto the nape. Shooting Alexander a meaningful look, he hoped his lover got the hint. 

Alexander understood. Hephaestion wanted him to take control and to initiate this intimacy with Bagoas being at the center of their caresses. Alexander placed his hands on either side of Bagoas' head and brought the younger man in for a tender kiss. 

Bagoas had thought it would be Hephaestion who would get him off, but it seemed his lovers' ideas differed from his. While Hephaestion seemed content with pressing kisses against his neck and shoulder blades, it was Alexander's hands which roamed over his bare chest. Alexander deepened the kiss and Bagoas allowed it. In their first life, it had always been the other way around – in that life, it had been his duty to satisfy and pleasure Alexander, but now everything was different. Alexander's touches brought him pleasure, and when those fingers curled around his erection, he hissed in excitement. 

Hephaestion grinned at Alexander in a conspiring way. His blue eyes said, 'Told you so,' and he continued to lick, kiss, and suckle the delicate skin of Bagoas' neck. 

Alexander focused on Bagoas in earnest now and considered his options. The hard flesh in his hand had long turned slick and Bagoas was thrusting against him. The narrow lips panted in tune with his strokes and the long, elegant fingers squeezed his shoulders as Bagoas looked for a way to support himself. But it wasn't enough – not for Alexander, who wanted to drive Bagoas out of his mind with pleasure, just like Bagoas, the eunuch, had done with him many centuries ago. 

"Hephaestion… I want him on his back…"

Bagoas' heart missed a beat at hearing Alexander's whispered request. He couldn't… He couldn't have sex with Alexander on top. He simply couldn't. There had been too much pain in the past – but did he have the right to deny Alexander what had always been his? *He* had always been Alexander's property – the King's – and as Hephaestion helped him lie down on his back, Bagoas realized that he lacked the courage to deny Alexander. 

But Alexander was no fool. He had long seen the panic in those dark eyes. The fact that Bagoas expected to be taken shouldn't surprise him, but it did. He had hoped that the younger man understood that things were different now. He had to *show* Bagoas how much things were different. Words wouldn't do the trick. 

Bagoas sucked in his breath as Alexander parted his legs. His eyes closed, as he didn't want them to read the fear in them and his body became as tense as a bowstring, expecting penetration and pain. 

Hephaestion was about to warn Alexander that something was wrong when he saw his lover nod. Alexander had noticed and Hephaestion wondered what his lover's next step would be now that Bagoas' erection was faltering. 

Alexander installed himself between Bagoas' parted legs and slipped his hands beneath the compact buttocks. Lifting Bagoas' lower body, he leaned in closer, parted his lips, and slid down the length. 

Bagoas' eyes opened with a start. He couldn't believe what his body was telling him, namely that Alexander had taken him into his mouth. But one look confirmed his thoughts – Alexander had taken him completely and was now sucking in an attempt to get him fully erect again. 

Hephaestion saw Bagoas' surprise and smiled knowingly at him. Bowing down, his lips claimed Bagoas’ and he kissed his younger lover with all the love and passion he felt for Bagoas. His hands roamed Bagoas' chest and his fingers played with the hard nipples. Those touches resulted in making Bagoas moan harder and writhe even more on the bed. 

Bagoas felt like he was on the brink of losing his mind. Alexander's tongue swirled around the base of his erection and those strong hands squeezed his buttocks in a playful way. Alexander looked up and their gazes locked. "I can't believe you are doing this…" Bagoas whispered in a shocked voice.

Alexander reacted by groaning loudly and the vibration echoed around his cock, making Bagoas twitch uncontrollably. Suddenly, Alexander took hold of his right hand and Bagoas rested it atop of the blond hair, just as Alexander wanted. Running his fingers through the blond mane, Bagoas lost himself in the sensual attack, which doubled now that Hephaestion was kissing his way down his throat and chest. 

He couldn't take much more of their sweet torture and shook violently as he reached his climax. Bagoas fully expected Alexander to pull back, but he didn't, and Alexander swallowed every drop of his come. 

Hephaestion returned to kissing Bagoas' lips, forced those and the teeth apart, and took his lover's mouth in a display of need and love. 

Alexander greedily drank down the warm seed and gave Bagoas a cat-like grin. "You taste sweet, Bagoas." The softening flesh had slipped from his lips, but Alexander's tongue returned to the sated member in order to lick him clean. 

Bagoas stared into Hephaestion’s pleased eyes, which hovered above his. Hephaestion's long hair danced against the already sensitive skin of his chest and made him gasp. Explosions in his groin rocked his world and Bagoas helplessly rode out the waves of pleasure which Alexander's talented tongue had evoked in him. 

Alexander crept closer, met Hephaestion's lips, and confirmed their love with a deep kiss.

All Bagoas could do was watch them kiss above him and feel immensely blessed to have their love.

Hephaestion released Alexander's lips and then gazed at Bagoas' dilated pupils. "Happy birthday, Bagoas…"

Bagoas chuckled and gave them his warmest smile. "Thank you."

/But that was just your first gift,/ Hephaestion thought. /Many more will follow./

TBC

 

Part 2

Bagoas wanted to follow when Hephaestion left their bed, but Hephaestion acted quickly and placed his hand against the younger man's chest. "I am going to make breakfast… Why don't you stay here with Alexander a little longer? The two of you can join me once breakfast is ready."

Bagoas blinked in surprise, but then nodded once. By now he had figured out that Hephaestion wanted him to stay here for a reason, he just didn't know why yet. While Hephaestion left the bedroom, Bagoas turned onto his other side so he could look into Alexander's eyes, which held one question he really didn't want to answer. 

"You were afraid of me. Why?" Alexander had a pretty good idea why Bagoas had panicked, but he wanted the younger man to say the words. He stroked Bagoas' dark hair, hoping it would soothe the younger man. 

Bagoas licked his lips and revealed his nervousness in that way. He considered lying to Alexander, but quickly realized that would be foolish. Alexander probably already knew what had made him panic. "For one moment I thought… I thought that you were going to take me." He bit his bottom lip and gave Alexander an apologetic look. 

"Why? Don't you trust me to take care of you during such intimate moments?" Alexander suspected that lack of trust wasn't the real reason why Bagoas had panicked, but he needed to hear the younger man voice his fears. /It is amazing… Thanks to Hephaestion I am actually capable of discussing something this emotional./ When he had said that he would have been an emotional cripple without his beloved Hephaestion, he hadn't been exaggerating. It was only due to Hephaestion's love and determination that he was able to handle Bagoas' emotions during such a frightening personal moment. 

Bagoas wrung his hands and his face briefly contorted, not knowing quite how to phrase his reply diplomatically. "I do trust you… That's not the problem." He closed his eyes and wished Alexander would stop questioning him. The King had never probed his thoughts so deeply. /Not the King… not any more…/ 

"Just tell me what you are thinking…" Alexander moved closer and wrapped his arms around Bagoas.

Bagoas grew flustered, although he couldn't quite explain why. He had been in Alexander's arms before. As a matter of fact, he had been way more intimate with Alexander than this, but that was also a part of the problem. 

"Tell me," Alexander said, sounding a bit more commanding.

"I thought you were going to take me just now and… and I wouldn't have denied you." Bagoas opened his eyes and looked fearfully at Alexander. "You are the Great King… no, you were the King… I… sometimes I look at you and I wonder… in my first life my duties were clear… but now… I don't know how to act around you… I would never deny you… you know that… how could I deny my King?" He was rambling and he knew it, but when he looked into Alexander's eyes, he saw understanding there.

"I think I know what you are trying to tell me, Bagoas. You are not a slave anymore. You are not a eunuch… you are yourself… you are Bagoas… and if you want to be intimate with me, I will welcome you with open arms. But never accept my advances if you don't want to be intimate with me." Alexander brushed his thumb against Bagoas' brow. "You are beginning to heal, but you still have a long road ahead of you." 

Bagoas actually managed a hopeful smile. "Alexander, I…"

But Alexander cut him off. "You do realize that there is one question that you have to find the answer to?" He waited until Bagoas shook his head. "You don't? Bagoas, you need to find out if you still love me. Once you know the answer to that question, we can take the next step. I will accept your feelings, Bagoas. How could I do anything less?" He was fairly certain that Bagoas still had feelings for him, but the younger man needed to figure out just what exactly those feelings were!

"I am afraid of what I will find." Bagoas gave Alexander a pleading look; he could easily tell how much Alexander wanted him to do this. "How? How do I find out? And how do I deal with my fears?" 

Alexander smiled, reassuringly. "We will find out how to handle them together."

Bagoas returned that smile, but weakly. "I do think that I love you still, Alexander… but something has changed."

"*You* have changed, Bagoas. It is only logical that other things have changed as well." Alexander continued to caress the long, dark hair. "And I want it to be different."

"You do?" Bagoas blinked to show his surprise.

"Yes, I want you to do the things you want to do. I want you to be happy." Alexander brushed Bagoas' brow with his lips in something that resembled a kiss. "We will find out where we stand shortly."

Bagoas blinked again. "Why?"

"Because we are going on a trip… just the two of us." Alexander hated seeing the panic sneak back into Bagoas' eyes again. "You don't have to be afraid, Bagoas. You are safe with me."

"Where are we going?" He didn't want to leave this safe haven!

"Athens, for a fortnight. It will just be you and me the first week. Hephaestion will join us after that." Alexander could tell by looking into Bagoas' eyes that the younger man didn't want to do this. "Hephaestion and I don't want you to live in fear. You need to face your past and the people who abused you. You need to come clean, Bagoas."

"We will be going to the police? They will arrest me! Prostitution is illegal!" 

"You were forced into prostitution, Bagoas. They know that. Give them some credit." Alexander's eyes narrowed. "They told you the police would throw you into jail, didn't they? Those pimps?" He had seen it before – had interviewed victims that had been manipulated by their abusers. "They put the fear of the law in you."

Bagoas nodded his head once. "If they put me in jail I know I won't survive. I am not strong and…"

"You won't go to jail. I won't allow it." Alexander wished he knew of a way to reassure the panicking younger man. "What if I talk to the police officers without you present? To see where we stand? I will only ask you to come with me once I know it is safe for you to talk to them. What do you say to that?"

Bagoas still wasn't convinced, but he knew it was best if he faced his past and those criminals. "I don't want to do this."

"I know you don't, but you *will* do this, won't you, Bagoas?" 

Bagoas nodded once. "I must…" He really didn't have a choice. "But you will stay at my side, won't you? You won't desert me?"

"Never, my love, never." He had heard Hephaestion call Bagoas that and saw the surprise in those dark eyes now that he was addressing him in that manner as well. Hopefully it showed his love and dedication where Bagoas was concerned. "I will never desert you," Alexander repeated while looking Bagoas in the eye. "Never."

~~~

Hephaestion disliked seeing Bagoas this tense. Ever since the younger man had found out that they were going to Athens, he had begun to emotionally distance himself from them. Exchanging a look with Alexander told Hephaestion that his lover had also noticed Bagoas' distant behavior. Hephaestion opted for action and sat down next to Bagoas on the couch. Bagoas was simply staring at his hands, which lay idly in his lap. "What's wrong?"

Alexander pulled up a chair and whirled it around before straddling it. He folded his arms in front of him on the back rest of the chair and rested his chin atop them. This way, he could study Bagoas for several minutes. Intuitively he knew that making Bagoas face his past was the right thing to do, but what worried him was the withdrawn state Bagoas had put himself in. 

"What's wrong?" Hephaestion repeated his question and placed his hands on either side of Bagoas' face. Using his hold on the younger man, he made Bagoas look him in the eye. "Tell us."

"I am afraid of going to jail. Everyone knows what happens to boys like me in jail." And he had already endured too much of such pain. He didn't want to go back to that world. He wanted things to remain as they were – he wanted to stay here and let Alexander and Hephaestion's love heal him. 

"Bagoas, you are not going to jail. I promise you." Hephaestion caressed Bagoas' face and felt how the muscles twitched beneath his touch. Bagoas was more than just nervous: he was afraid. "You are the victim here. Yes, the police might take down your statement, but that should be about it."

Alexander nodded his head once. "I already called my old Captain. He will phone the Greek police, make inquiries, and then he will let me know what he came up with. Maybe that will help you relax? Once we go to the police office we will know what to expect." Alexander hated seeing Bagoas this afraid and wondered if they were pushing the younger man too hard. /Sometimes I forget that he is only nineteen and that he spent so many years in those brothels. It is only normal that he doesn't want to do this./ 

"Alexander will be there every step of the way and later on, I will join you. Do you really think we will allow any harm to befall you?" Hephaestion pulled Bagoas closer until the dark head rested against his shoulder. "We love you. If necessary we will fight for you."

Bagoas sniffed and choked back a sob. "I don't want to go back to being a whore."

For one moment, Bagoas' words didn't make any sense to Hephaestion, but then he understood what his younger lover was trying to tell him. "Those pimps will never get their hands on you again."

Alexander determinedly nodded his head. "I will be your bodyguard, Bagoas. I promise you that no one will get past me."

"Do I really have to do this?" Bagoas' voice sounded child-like and, at that moment, he felt like the helpless teenager that he was, but until that point, he hadn't really realized that. He had been living in a dream ever since finding Alexander and Hephaestion. 

"Yes, you must." Alexander rose from his chair and joined the two men on the couch. Embracing Bagoas from behind, he whispered into the younger man's ear, "I will keep you safe – always."

Bagoas then took a leap of faith. Alexander had never let him down before and he had to believe that, this time, Alexander would come through as well. He *had* to do this.

~~~

"I will see you in one week." Hephaestion hugged Bagoas closer. It was harder to let Bagoas go then it was for him to say his temporary goodbyes to Alexander. He knew that Alexander could handle any dangerous situations that lay ahead of them, but Bagoas seemed emotionally unstable and that worried him the most. The pleading expression in those dark eyes concerned him. "You still have Alexander," he added, seeing the helpless expression in Bagoas' eyes. 

Alexander was already in the car and waiting for Bagoas to join him. They had packed some clothes, toiletries, and other necessities, and were ready to leave. But Bagoas was stalling for understandable reasons. Alexander had already said his goodbyes to Hephaestion, temporary goodbyes, as the three of them would be reunited in seven days. 

Hephaestion escorted Bagoas over to the car and opened the door. This was hard on all three of them, but it was also something that had to be done. Alexander and Bagoas needed this time away from him – they needed to rebuild the friendship, trust, and love, and they couldn't do that as long as he was close. Bagoas would turn to him for comfort and not to Alexander. 

Bagoas slipped into the passenger's seat and drew in a deep breath. This felt surreal. 

Now that Bagoas wasn't moving, Hephaestion leaned in closer and fastened the safety belt. "I will see you in one week, my love." He pressed one more kiss onto Bagoas' forehead and gave him an encouraging look. "You are much stronger than you think. You can do this."

Hephaestion's words comforted Bagoas, but his distress didn't go away. They were taking him to Athens and there was a big chance that he would never return here – he didn't want to lose what he had here!

Hephaestion resolutely closed the car door. Sending Bagoas away in this way broke his heart, but it needed to be done! He raised his hand in goodbye once Alexander kicked the car into gear. A few minutes later, the car had disappeared from view and loneliness came crashing in on Hephaestion. Something wet and warm suddenly pushed against the palm of his hand and he smiled at Peritas, who was trying to get his attention so he would pat the dog. "I still have you and Boukephalos." 

But still, the next week would be a lonely one. He had grown accustomed to having his lovers close and now he was alone. /Well, try to look on the bright side of things, this way you can work on your book./ He *did* want to finish his book on Aristotle and see it published. /Oh, I do hope they didn't take my laptop with them!/ 

Hephaestion entered the house and found his laptop sitting on the kitchen table. The laptop was open and active and a message was displayed on the screen – a message directed at him.

#We love you, Hephaestion, and we will be thinking of you, Alexander and Bagoas.#

That message brought a smile to Hephaestion's face. /I love you too… But how am I going to survive a week without the two of you?/ He sat down at the kitchen table and stared at the screen for a long time. Then he closed the message, opened the text he was working on, and concentrated on his book.

~~~

"Did you already hear back from your former Captain?" Bagoas fidgeted with the fabric of his shirt and kept his eyes directed at the road in front of him. He felt nervous and a sickening sensation in the pit of his stomach made him nauseous. He hoped he wasn't going to throw up before this trip was over.

"Give him a little time to get familiar with your case and to contact the officers in charge of the investigations." Alexander cast a quick look at Bagoas and sighed when he saw the fear on the younger man's face. "I expect him to call me back tonight," he added, hoping it would help settle Bagoas' nerves. 

Bagoas shifted on his seat. "Until now, I never fully registered the fact that you were a police man once." 

"Does that make you uncomfortable?" 

"There are so many things that make me feel uncomfortable right now," Bagoas admitted in a soft voice. 

Alexander judged it best not to probe too deeply and to give Bagoas some time to sort out his thoughts and emotions. "We will be driving for a few hours, but I expect to reach Athens before nightfall." Alexander counted on Hephaestion having made all the necessary arrangements. His lover had made all bookings online and Alexander hoped nothing had gone wrong. 

Alexander had packed light, as the trip would only last for two weeks, and he reckoned that he could buy the things he had forgotten to pack. It would also be a nice occasion to get Bagoas a well-fitting wardrobe consisting of clothes the younger man had picked himself. In spite of the problems they might encounter, he was looking forward to spending time with Bagoas in Athens. If only they could work out things with the police, then everything would be fine! "Why don't you take a nap? You look tired." He was used to driving long distances and wouldn't stop for the next two hours. Alexander switched the radio on and hummed along with the oldies the station was playing. 

Bagoas decided to take Alexander's advice and he closed his eyes. Maybe this way he could lock out his fears!

~~~

They made a stop at a restaurant, ate, and stocked up on water before starting the next leg of their journey. Bagoas was growing increasingly nervous and, no matter what Alexander said in order to reassure him, the younger man remained jumpy. "Here, open this paper and feed me directions." They had finally reached Athens and the city made an overwhelming impression. It was way bigger and more crowded than Alexander had thought it would be. 

"What is this?" Bagoas was relieved to be able to focus on something other than his worries and studied the paper.

"That is the hotel Hephaestion booked us rooms at. Try to find the address on the map and give me directions." He handed Bagoas the map they had bought during their last stop. "I hope he didn't go cheap on us…" Alexander really hoped Hephaestion had booked them into a nice hotel. He needed a soft bed after driving all day.

"The address is Panepistimiou 52," Bagoas said as he tried to find the street on the map. "Titania hotel?" he whispered, feeling amused though he couldn’t figure out why. 

"Maybe Hephaestion thinks size matters?" Alexander burst out laughing. Although the joke wasn't that funny, he felt stressed and in dire need of rest. 

Bagoas chuckled and finally located their hotel on the map. "Turn right here." 

"What is the time?" Alexander watched the streets, which seemed to be growing busier every moment. The sun had just set and it had been a hot day, so the people had probably stayed at home and rested until it had started to cool down. 

"Almost six PM," Bagoas replied. "Turn left here." Like Alexander, he hoped their hotel wasn't located in a run down area of the city. Like any major city, Athens also had its fair share of brothels and that was the last place Bagoas wanted to be. 

Alexander had spied a building that said "Titania" but decided that it couldn't be their hotel. The front displayed four stars, was classy, and showcased a large revolving door. "Is that it?"

Bagoas looked as stunned as Alexander felt. "The address is right, but… we can't possibly pay for that, can we?"

"Hephaestion said he had already taken care of that." He really needed to talk to his lover in detail about just how wealthy Hephaestion's family was! "Well, I will just park the car and ask if they have rooms reserved under Hephaestion's name. Then we will know enough." Alexander parked the car, got out, and stretched. 

Bagoas collected Alexander's suit case and swung his duffle bag over his shoulder. He felt and looked underdressed for this establishment and so did Alexander. "This can't be the right address." 

Alexander shrugged and entered the lobby, dragging Bagoas along with him. 

"Good evening, sir. How can I be of assistance?" One of the hotel's employees walked up to them and gave them a friendly smile.

Bagoas was too stunned to answer the employee and simply stared at the lobby. It featured white marble, statues, mosaics, soft, welcoming couches, and pastel lights. He had never been inside such a luxurious hotel before! A receptionist was already smiling at them and Bagoas noted the white carving that hung against the wall behind her, depicting one of Alexander's battles. Oh, this was too much!

Alexander had reached the reception desk by now and gave the receptionist a stunning smile. "A friend of mine booked us some rooms. It should be under Hephaestion." At least that was what Hephaestion had scribbled on the paper. 

The receptionist checked the reservations and gave him an even warmer smile. "Yes, I have found it. You have booked a suite… The rooms are already prepared for you. Please fill in these forms." She raised her hand and gestured for a porter to carry their bags. "Please escort our guests to their rooms." She handed the porter the key and said, "I hope you will enjoy your stay here." 

Alexander had finished registering and handed her the papers. Feeling quite dazed, Alexander and Bagoas followed the porter into the elevator and exited it on the second floor. The porter opened the door, carried their luggage inside, and then left them to get settled. 

"Are you certain this is our hotel?" Bagoas blinked. "How can we possibly afford this?"

 

"I think I need to have an in-depth discussion with Hephaestion. He has been hiding things from me." But right now, he was too tired to care and let himself fall onto the huge, comfortable bed. 

Bagoas took in the room and smiled. He already felt comfortable here. The warm red of the walls and carpet, combined with the cream of the bed lines and curtains, gave the room a cozy atmosphere and the oak furniture made it a stylish blend. "I wonder what the bathroom looks like." On his way over to the bathroom, he encountered a coffee table, on which papers, coffee, tea, biscuits, chocolates, and flowers stood waiting for them. Bagoas picked the paper up and read it. "Alexander, you should read this."

Alexander opened his eyes. He had almost been asleep. "What is so important that you have to wake me?" But he took hold of the paper and stared at it. It was a list of events Hephaestion had gotten them tickets for. He blinked, finding they had an appointment at a spa tomorrow. "I really need to talk to Hephaestion!"

Bagoas chuckled and opened the bathroom door. "Oh, they have a bath tub!" Bath robes and slippers had already been laid out and everything was set for them to enjoy a long soak in the tub. "Alexander, do you want to go first?" Bagoas couldn't wait to wash the sweat off of his body.

"You can go first. I need to make a call." Alexander sat cross-legged on his bed and reached for the phone. "Someone has some explaining to do."

"Don't be too hard on him. Hephaestion means well." Bagoas shuffled his feet; he felt torn between defending Hephaestion and filling up that bath tub. 

Just when Alexander wanted to dial Hephaestion's cell phone number, the phone rang. "Yes?" he asked, wondering who would call him. 

"This is the front desk, sir. I am calling to remind you that dinner will be served in one hour and that a table has been reserved for you on the balcony." 

"We will be there." Alexander thanked her for informing them and terminated the call. "You have thirty minutes to soak, Bagoas. We are expected downstairs in one hour."

"Why?" Bagoas was about to step into the water.

"Dinner." Alexander punched in Hephaestion's cell phone number and waited. "Come on, pick up… Or do you know it is me and that I have some questions for you?"

In the bathroom, Bagoas utterly relaxed now that he was stretched out in the bath tub. This was his idea of heaven!

"Alexander?" Hephaestion's voice sounded distant and absent-minded. "Is this you?" 

"You bet it is! Care to explain to me about the hotel? Those tickets? Dinner reservations? How are we going to pay for this?" Alexander was immensely relieved to hear his lover's voice and, although he acted cross with him, he wasn't. 

"Relax," Hephaestion answered, chuckling through the phone. "It has all been taken care of. Just enjoy yourself."

"How in Zeus' name do you plan on paying for these accommodations for two weeks?" Alexander shook his head. "Hephaestion… Just how rich is your family?"

"Rich enough, so don't worry about it. Enjoy yourself! Pamper Bagoas."

Something else occurred to Alexander. "Just how much money did you plan on putting in Bagoas' bank account when you open it?"

"I was thinking about ten thousand. I want to arrange it in such a way that he receives a monthly payment… So, if he wants to study one day or travel, then he has enough money to finance his plans."

"Hephaestion… You make it sound like a few thousand of dollars mean nothing to you!"

"That is Pound Sterling, actually." Hephaestion grinned on the other end. "I mean it, Alexander. It is only money. Use it to have a good time. The gods know Bagoas deserves to be pampered."

Alexander realized that he wasn't getting through to his lover and changed tactics. "I miss you… I wish you were here with us."

"I will join you in one week. Bagoas and you can pick me up at the airport." Hephaestion patted Peritas' head and, like Alexander, he wished he were close to his lovers. "I miss you too… And I miss Bagoas. It is awfully quiet around here without the two of you." 

"Be grateful we didn't take your laptop with us. We did consider doing that, you know." 

"We will just have to get two more laptops. That way you can write you pornographic snippets about me, Bagoas can read his slash, and I can work on my book!"

"Yeah, we will do that." Alexander smiled, ruefully. "I want to hold you, kiss you…"

"If you keep talking like that you will be late for dinner!" Hephaestion grinned at hearing Alexander's exasperated gasp. "Get into the bathroom and clean up."

"I can't. Bagoas is soaking in the tub."

"And that is going to stop you? Do you remember *why* I suggested this trip in the first place?"

"So Bagoas and I could grow close again."

"You won't achieve that by keeping your distance, Alexander." 

Alexander drew in a deep breath. "You think I should take the initiative?"

"Oh, yes, I do! Now get off the phone and into the bathroom! Don't let Bagoas throw you off. Be firm, but foremost be gentle and understanding. Remember this is hard on both of you." 

"You sound like a shrink, Hephaestion." But he spoke those words in a loving tone to take out any sting Hephaestion might read into them. 

"I did take some classes in psychology." Hephaestion continued to chuckle. 

"Don't tell me you have a degree in that field too."

"In that case I won't tell you," Hephaestion replied, feeling giddy. "Now stop talking and get in there."

"Yes, sir!" Alexander fought the urge to salute and grinned goofily instead. "Love you," he added, before ending the phone call.

"Love you too," Hephaestion repeated, amused at how mushy they sounded. "Good night and have some sweet dreams."

"I will dream of you. I will call you again tomorrow, same time, all right?" 

"All right and now go, or we will still be saying goodbye in the morning. I will make it easy on you. Bye, my Alexander." And after saying that, Hephaestion hung up on him.

Alexander placed the horn on the receiver and continued to grin at nothing in particular. It was good to be loved by Hephaestion – so very good!

TBC

Part 3

Bagoas felt like he had entered heaven. Soaking in the bath tub was one of his favorite pastimes and the flowery-scented bath oil heightened his pleasure. He had rested his head against the small pillow that was attached to the head end and listened to the music which the radio was softly playing. He had put on a station that played classical music and smiled as he listened to it. The last thing Bagoas expected to happen though was for the door to open and Alexander to enter. His eyes opened with a start.

Alexander noticed the nervous expression on Bagoas' face and gave him a reassuring smile. Not giving Bagoas any time to flee the bath room, he immediately began to strip. He had just stepped out of his jeans when he said, "I hope you don't mind me keeping you company, but if I have to wait for you to get out, we will be late for dinner." 

"I can get out right now…" Bagoas had never seen Alexander undress so quickly before and, before Bagoas knew what was happening, the blond man had eased himself into the bath tub. 

"Ah, what scent is this? Didn't you try to make me smell like this once before?" Alexander made himself comfortable and pulled one of Bagoas' feet into his hands. He massaged the appendage gently in the hopes that the touch would further reassure the younger man. 

"It is lilies of the valley," Bagoas replied in a stunned voice. Alexander's fingers rubbed the sole of his foot and the touch undid him. His feet had always been one of his most sensitive areas and Alexander running his thumb up the sole made him moan. 

"You like that!" Alexander had never realized that before. Gathering Bagoas' other foot close as well, he massaged them simultaneously. He couldn't help but feel bemused as he saw Bagoas close his eyes in bliss, and when another whimper escaped the younger man, Alexander knew how to cross the emotional distance between them. He continued to rub Bagoas' feet and refrained from speaking. The silence that now formed between them felt comfortable and, for the first time, they didn't need words to cover up any tension. 

~~~

"We should leave the water – it is getting cold in here." Alexander had massaged Bagoas' feet for at least fifteen minutes and, as he did so, he had watched Bagoas' features relax. He chided himself that he had never noticed before that this was such a turn-on for Bagoas. Alexander couldn't help but wonder if this had made Bagoas hard, but as he didn't want to pry, he didn't pose the question to Bagoas.

"I don't think I can get up just yet." Bagoas blushed beautifully and hid behind his wet hair. 

Alexander chuckled, and his reaction caused Bagoas to peek at him in a shy way. "Why did you never tell me that you like your feet rubbed?" He moved closer to Bagoas little by little until he could wrap his arms and legs around the younger man's frame. He could tell that his move puzzled Bagoas, but the dark eyes suddenly shone with understanding when he curled his fingers around Bagoas' hard member. 

"It never was your place to pleasure me," Bagoas answered in a soft voice that was still clouded with need. 

"But that has changed – remember?" Alexander continued to stroke Bagoas' erection and, at the same time, he leaned in closer to offer his lips to the younger man. He hoped Bagoas would take the hint and kiss him, but since he didn't want to pressure Bagoas, he didn't ask for a kiss. 

Bagoas' heart thundered in his chest. Alexander's hands felt good on him and he began to thrust into the fist that had captured his member. Losing himself in the sensation, he leaned in closer and kissed Alexander – gently, exploring. 

Alexander reacted with a smile and pulled Bagoas closer still. One of his hands was busy bringing Bagoas to orgasm and the other locked around the back of the elegant neck. Keeping Bagoas in place in that way, he deepened the kiss. During their first life, Bagoas had seldom maintained eye contact during such an intimate moment, preferring either to close his eyes or to stare past him, but not this time. This time, the dark eyes remained fixed on his. "Do you like this, Bagoas?"

Bagoas moaned into Alexander's mouth and his hips jerked forward, eager to fuck Alexander's hand. "I do…" Bagoas panted the words – he was close, so close!

Alexander released Bagoas' lips, but didn't break eye contact. There was something he wanted to say before Bagoas reached his climax. "Do you remember that evening on the beach? When you asked me if I would ever let you take me?" He whispered the words against Bagoas' lips and the reaction was instant. Bagoas' eyes widened and his breathing became labored. He grabbed Alexander's shoulders with his hands and held on tight as his body was catapulting toward orgasm. Alexander smiled smugly and then added, "I will let you take me, Bagoas… when the time is right…" Close, Bagoas was close… "You will slide inside me and then you will start to thrust… slowly at first and then…" His effort paid off and Bagoas clung to him during his climax.

Bagoas could only stare at Alexander. Had Alexander really said that? And did he mean it? Or had Alexander only said that to get him off? 

Alexander read the questions in Bagoas' dark eyes. He gave Bagoas a wicked grin and licked the younger man's trembling bottom lip. Bagoas' member was softening, but he still continued to fondle the organ. "I mean it, Bagoas. I am not playing with you." He hadn't known what his answer would be until a moment ago. He had finally realized that letting Bagoas take him was the right thing to do. Bagoas had always been his 'pet' and, in a way, his slave. But things *had* changed and they were equals now.

But Bagoas shook his head. "Alexander, I…" He fought to bring his breathing under control and, feeling rather tired, he rested his brow against Alexander's. "I don't intend to take you – I only asked because… because…" He wasn't certain why he had asked that question that night. "…because I wanted to know if you had ever given that idea any thought." Bagoas released a deep breath and searched Alexander's eyes. "Hearing you say that takes my breath away, Alexander. Just hearing you say that means a lot to me, but don't worry, I will never put your words to the test."

"Now you disappoint me, my love," Alexander commented while still maintaining his wicked smile. "I would love to know what it feels like to have you inside of me." Predictably, Bagoas' blush deepened. "But we will discuss this later. We should ready ourselves for dinner."

Bagoas didn't know what to make of Alexander's last statement. Alexander couldn't have been serious when he had said that he wanted to be taken! His train of thought was interrupted when Alexander rose from the water and stepped out of the bath tub. Alexander was hard and Bagoas realized – belatedly – that he hadn't offered to bring Alexander to orgasm in turn. What was he to do now? 

But Alexander took the matter into his own hands and came hard after administering a few firm strokes. 

Bagoas' eyes glistered with surprise – and shame, because Alexander had needed to do that himself. He felt like he had failed his former King.

"Don't give me that look." Alexander quickly cleaned himself up and then leaned in closer to press another kiss onto Bagoas' soft lips. "I didn't ask you to get me off and you are under no obligation to offer. Always remember that." He had learned a lot from the way Hephaestion had dealt with Bagoas' fears and insecurities. 

Bagoas wanted to object, but Alexander was already on his way out. 

Alexander quickly dried his shoulder-long hair and then draped one of the morning robes across his shoulders. Alexander looked at Bagoas from over his shoulder and gave him a wink. "Don't take too long."

Realizing it was time to move, Bagoas pulled the plug and left the bath tub. Finding a bottle of rich and luxurious body lotion on the vanity, he couldn't resist and rubbed the liniment onto his skin. /Oh, and now I not only smell of lilies, but of roses as well!/ Bagoas giggled, and dismissed any worries he might have had. 

A moment later, he joined Alexander in the bedroom and found that the older man had already unpacked his suitcase. Alexander had placed his duffle bag onto his bed, but had refrained from opening it. Bagoas sat down on his own king-size bed and unpacked. In the end, he selected black slacks and a white shirt to dress in. He had no idea how formal the restaurant setting was and the last thing he wanted was to appear underdressed. 

"Are you going formal on me?" Alexander had selected a pair of jeans and a blue shirt to wear that evening, but now he gave his wardrobe a critical look. 

"Dress the way you feel comfortable with," Bagoas suggested in a soft voice. The truth was that to him, Alexander looked good in anything he wore. 

"I will compromise." Alexander went for some grey slacks in the end and combined them with a black shirt. 

Bagoas had slipped into his socks, underwear, slacks, and shirt and now made his way over to the mirror to do his hair. His raven mane was a tangled mess and he chided himself for not straightening it out when he still had some conditioner in it. Removing the tangles now might be uncomfortable. 

"Sit down." Alexander had walked up behind Bagoas and cocked his head to indicate that Bagoas should seat himself in front of the mirror. 

"What are you…?" Bagoas failed to finish his question and watched as Alexander picked up his comb and brush. It was quite obvious what Alexander's plan was.

"Relax. I will be gentle. I have some experience fixing long hair." There had been nights when he had untangled Hephaestion's mane. 

At first, Bagoas found it hard to relax, but the longer Alexander brushed his hair, the more his tension left him. Alexander worked carefully on his tangles and didn't pull at his hair. In the end, Bagoas even closed his eyes and purred.

"I know that you prefer to wear your hair loose, but…" Alexander let his voice trail off in the hope that Bagoas would grow curious and it worked. 

"But what?" Bagoas watched Alexander in the mirror and immediately noticed the return of that wicked grin. 

"But I would love to see you wear it in a pony tail tonight." Alexander had found a leather band among Bagoas' hair supplies and now showed it to the younger man. "May I?"

Bagoas nodded, as he wanted to please Alexander in turn. If seeing him wear his hair in this way made Alexander happy he wasn't going to stop it from happening. 

Alexander combed the long hair into a pony tail, wrapped the band around it, and then admired his handiwork. "I like it." 

Bagoas tilted his head to see what Alexander had done with his hair and, to his surprise, he found he liked the new look. It made him look a bit older, a bit… wiser, almost. "I like it too." 

Alexander placed the brush aside, took a few steps to the side, and then pulled Bagoas to his feet. "You look breathtaking." In order to prove his words, he pressed another kiss on the now slightly swollen lips. "And I want to show you off tonight." 

Bagoas swallowed hard, feeling a bit nervous for no apparent reason. Maybe it was due to what had happened in the bathroom, maybe it was because of the way Alexander was looking at him. He lacked the words to describe the expression that currently lay in Alexander's eyes. 

Alexander checked himself over and felt pleased with his appearance. Keeping his fingers tightly wrapped around Bagoas' hand, he guided his younger lover toward the doorway. He was determined to make Bagoas feel special tonight – and no, not just tonight – for the rest of his life.

~~~

"Please follow me. I will take you to your table." The waiter guided them onto the balcony and showed them their table. "Would you like to try the house wine?" 

Alexander nodded his head as he seated himself. It was a good thing that he didn't have to worry about money. He had the feeling he might not have been able to pay for the hotel if he had been responsible for picking up the bill. 

The waiter left to get the menu cards and the wine and Bagoas sat down opposite Alexander. His gaze traveled around and he sucked in his breath as he realized just how breathtaking their view was. "Look, Alexander. Is that the Acropolis?" 

Alexander looked up, followed the direction of Bagoas' stare, and nodded once more. "Yes, it is." The ancient structure sat high upon a hill and, as the sun was still in the process of setting, the stone pillars seemed to glow golden. It was a perfectly romantic setting, made complete by the roses that were blossoming around them. It was almost a magical experience.

The waiter brought their wine and the menu cards and, after giving them some time to make up their minds, took their order. As he disappeared into the kitchen to relay the order, Alexander reached across the table and rested his hand atop Bagoas'. "I am glad we came here."

Bagoas wanted to hide behind his hair, but realized that wasn't a possibility any more now that he was wearing it in a pony tail. He stared at Alexander's fingers as they caressed his. "Aren't you afraid of what they will think? Seeing you touch me like this?"

Alexander frowned. "I will never feel embarrassed because I love you. Why would I? They are probably just jealous that it is me, and not them, going home with you." 

Bagoas smiled now that Alexander had paid him such a huge compliment – for it felt like a huge compliment to him. Alexander was proud to be his lover and that boosted his ego. 

The waiter returned to serve the first course and, just when the two of them were about to dig in, Alexander's cell phone rang.

"I have to take this call," Alexander explained. "It might be my former Captain with information about your case."

Bagoas' mood instantly darkened and he now stared at the food with little appetite. 

Alexander took the call and talked for some minutes. Well, talked – not exactly. He said yes, all right, and no, and that was about it. The fact that he couldn't figure out what was being said made Bagoas anxious. After a few minutes, Alexander terminated the call and placed his cell phone on the table, staring at it. 

"Was it your former Captain?" Bagoas reached for the wine and emptied the glass in one go. 

"Yes, it was." Alexander finally looked up and made eye contact. "He told me something amazing."

"What did he say?" Bagoas held the empty glass so tightly that it was in danger of shattering under the pressure.

Alexander noticed that as well and rescued the glass from Bagoas' crushing hold. He placed it back onto the table and then took hold of Bagoas' hands. Rubbing the long fingers, he said, "Apparently the Greek police have apprehended most of the criminals that kidnapped the children from the orphanages. The police systematically went through the brothels and took the children out of them. Most of the boys and girls that were forced into prostitution – like you – were freed about a month ago and they have been placed in stable homes and are receiving the counseling they need."

Bagoas' heart missed several beats. He couldn't believe what Alexander was telling him! He couldn't be that lucky!

"Most of the pimps are in jail, awaiting their trial. The police have a large number of witnesses, and prosecution is confident that these pimps will end up convicted. That means you are out of danger, Bagoas." Alexander shook his head; he had been so worried about what he would find and now it seemed the matter had already been taken care of! "My former Captain contacted one of the officers in charge of the case and he said that you need to come by the police station to give a statement. They will ask you some questions, but that should be about it. They also secured your papers and they will be returned to you after they take your deposition." 

Bagoas' mouth had gone dry and he stared blankly at Alexander. "This can't be."

Alexander smiled broadly. "Bagoas, you can stop being afraid. All will be well. All we need to do is drop by the police station tomorrow and you will leave with your papers in your pocket. That means you can travel, Bagoas! You can travel around the world if you want to!"

Bagoas managed a weak smile. "I am afraid to believe this."

"I understand." Alexander rubbed the cool and clammy fingers and watched how Bagoas' face regained most of its color. "You can stop worrying." But he also realized that Bagoas needed time to accept this. "Why don't we eat this delicious food before it turns cold?" Giving the example, he began to eat.

Bagoas automatically followed Alexander's example. At first, he didn't really taste the food, but as his nerves settled down again, he began to appreciate the food as well. 

Dinner took place in silence for the most part. Occasionally they would glance at the Acropolis, the setting sun, and their twined fingers. When dessert was served, Bagoas resolutely squeezed Alexander's hand. "I *do* love you," he said, finally voicing the truth with conviction. "I love you still." 

His words brought a blinding smile to Alexander's face. "And I love you too."

~~~

Later that evening, they readied themselves for bed and faced an awkward moment as there were two king-size beds in the room. During the last few weeks, they had shared a bed – with Hephaestion that was – and now Bagoas didn't know what to do. Was he supposed to crawl between the sheets of his bed? Or was he supposed to join Alexander in his?

Alexander had noticed Bagoas' puzzled expression, but decided not to act upon it in the hope that his younger lover would figure things out by himself. He would love for Bagoas to share his bed, but only if the younger man wanted that as well. Used to sleeping naked, he stripped, and crept between the sheets. He kicked off the bedspread, but did pull the sheet over his body. It had cooled down somewhat during the evening and the sheet would keep him warm enough. 

Bagoas was still shuffling his feet. In the end, he made up his mind and moved over to Alexander's bed, where he sat down on the side. "Alexander?"

Alexander tilted his head and smiled at Bagoas. "Yes?"

"I don't want to sleep alone," Bagoas admitted while giving Alexander a hopeful look. "Can I…?"

Alexander nodded his head and lifted the sheet. "Come on then." He was glad that Bagoas had made this step, for he wanted to hold his younger lover close during the night. 

Bagoas cuddled up to Alexander and sighed blissfully now that they had skin on skin contact. Their naked bodies twined around each other and Bagoas rested his head against Alexander's shoulder. 

"You are still tense. Why is that?" Alexander removed the leather band and ran his fingers through the raven mane. 

"I miss Hephaestion." Bagoas didn't want to bring this up right now, but as Alexander had asked, he didn't want to lie. "But that doesn't mean that tonight wasn't perfect, for it was." He lifted his head and gazed into Alexander's eyes. "I didn't want you to know that I miss him."

Alexander frowned. "I miss him too. Why do you feel guilty for telling me that you miss him?"

Bagoas bowed his head and carefully considered his answer. "You have gone to such great lengths to make me feel comfortable and I should not be missing Hephaestion that much. Oh, this makes things even worse! I don't want you to feel…"

Alexander placed a finger across Bagoas' lips and silenced him that way. "Bagoas, you need to realize that it is the three of us. I miss him too, although I am perfectly happy holding you in my arms. Do you understand that? It is okay to miss him!" 

Bagoas smiled shyly at him. "Hephaestion changed my life, you know. He made me a better person."

Alexander nodded. "He had the same effect on me. I am a better person because of him too."

"Alexander, could I… Would it be all right if I…?"

Following the direction of Bagoas' gaze, Alexander realized it was aimed at his cell phone. He reached for it, accessed Hephaestion's cell phone number, and handed it to Bagoas. "Why don't you say goodnight to him?" It was already past midnight, but Alexander reckoned Hephaestion would have a hard time falling asleep in an empty bed.

"Alexander? Is this you again?" Hephaestion chuckled into the phone. "I was working on my book, you know!"

"No, it is me, Bagoas," Bagoas answered in a tiny voice. Was he bothering Hephaestion? Maybe he shouldn't have called!

"Bagoas, it is good to hear your voice! How are things? Is Alexander behaving? Are you having a good time?"

"The hotel is amazing. Thank you for booking us a room here."

"And we are sharing a comfortable, king-size bed!" Alexander added rather loudly so Hephaestion had to hear him on the other end.

"But you are not in it," Bagoas murmured. "I miss you."

Hephaestion smiled at the screen as he recalled their parting message. "I miss you too, Bagoas." He had worked on his book on Aristotle for most of the day and he had really made progress. Now that he was alone, he was finally able to concentrate!

"We are going to the police station tomorrow. Alexander thinks it is safe for me to collect my papers." Bagoas' fingers trembled and Alexander caught them in his. Bagoas gave him a grateful smile. "I am so glad that he is here with me. I wouldn't be able to do this alone."

"You don't have to do this alone," Alexander quickly said. "I am here for you."

"Bagoas? Try to sleep a bit?" Hephaestion worried about the younger man's emotional health. "You should be rested when you speak with the police tomorrow."

"I will sleep… peacefully," Bagoas replied, "Now that I am in Alexander's bed."

"And I will make certain that he sleeps!" Alexander pressed a kiss onto Bagoas' brow. "Now say goodnight so we can go to sleep."

"Night, Hephaestion." Bagoas wanted to add another declaration of love, but then realized it wasn't necessary – Hephaestion already knew how much he loved him. Cuddling up to Alexander, he allowed himself to relax and to listen to Hephaestion's parting words. He wouldn't have any trouble sleeping peacefully tonight after talking to Hephaestion.

"Goodnight, Bagoas… night, Alexander." Hephaestion terminated the call with a silly grin on his face. They missed him! Good, that would bring them even closer together! 

Looking at his screen once more, he felt too tired to continue working on his book, but he was not yet tired enough to go to bed, so instead, he logged in using Bagoas' settings and browsed through the mailing lists and communities the younger man had joined, wondering what he would find there. 

 

TBC

Part 4

Hephaestion should have felt guilty for nosing about in Bagoas' mail, but for some reason he didn't. It wasn't like he was reading anything personal. The only messages he accessed were the ones with "Fic" in the subject line. It didn't take him long to realize that some writers had been very active since the release of the Oliver Stone movie. 

He started reading a few stories which were stored in Bagoas' inbox, but more than once grew bored with them. All the stories he had found so far were about getting them into bed and, any other time he might have loved to read them, but right now, he needed something a bit more 'profound'. 

The number of fics in Bagoas' inbox amazed him and he scanned them, hoping to find a story that would pique his curiosity. He abandoned his search for a few moments to open a bottle of red wine and then returned to his surfing. 

Hephaestion arched an eyebrow, seeing 'fic recommendation' written in one subject line. He could tell that Bagoas had already accessed it, and the younger man must have liked it because he had kept it in his inbox, while in the meantime he had cleaned out the more recent ones. Growing hopeful, Hephaestion took a sip from his wine and then clicked on the message. 

Hum, this was different from what he had encountered so far. This wasn't a story about Alexander/Hephaestion/Bagoas, but one about Jared and Colin. Even Francisco Bosch had been slashed with the actor who had played Cassander in the film. The site listed several parts to the story and, encouraged, Hephaestion clicked on the link. 

The first story's title was "Morocco and Mangoes". That sounded interesting. Hephaestion sipped more of his wine and began reading. His eyes flew across the screen; he definitely liked the writer's style. At one point, he almost spit out his wine.

“Oh my God,” Jonathan crawled to the edge of the bed and got up. “I can't sit around here and have my virgin ears raped.” 

“Don't say things like that,” Jared said. “It makes me wanna stick my cock in your ear.” 

Hephaestion had a laughing fit, as the wine had helped him imagine just that scene! He cleaned up the screen, which had been splashed by the red wine, and continued to read after refilling his glass.

“How often do you think our characters have sex?” Jared asked.

Oh, Hephaestion knew exactly how many times Alexander and he'd had sex! He chuckled; this story highly amused him.

Colin thought about it for a moment. He looked down at his tea, then rested it on the arm of his chair. “I don't know,” he shrugged. “They've been together for a long time. It seems like sex is woefully lacking in long-term relationships.” Colin smirked. “So I've been told.”

Oh, the sex had never been lacking from their relationship! Alexander had always been hungry for him and had never left him wanting. 

“I wouldn't think that often,” Colin couldn't believe how seriously he was taking this discussion. “They don't even see each other that much, they're always off doing separate things, and Alexander has so many duties. Hephaistion goes off to lead separate campaigns sometimes, I'm sure.”

Yes, that was true. There had been times when they had been apart for a long while, but even apart, Alexander had never been out of his thoughts. He had often fallen asleep, remembering how it felt to fall asleep in Alexander's arms.

“I bet it keeps them from being bored of each other then, like you said.” Jared shifted in his chair. His legs were crossed and he twitched his dangling foot. “I bet when they finally do get a night together, they rip the sheets off the bed,” he gave a lewd growl.

Oh yes, they had ripped several sheets during their love affair. Well, it had mostly been him tearing those sheets apart. There had been nights when Alexander had burned for him and had taken him without much consideration. Those had been the nights when passion had flared the strongest between them and Alexander's fire had burned him deep inside. He still cherished those memories for those nights had shown him just how much Alexander loved him.

Jared smirked. He was watching Colin slyly. He went on, lowering his voice so he didn't attract an audience. “I bet it's rough, and hot. Nothing pretty about those two, not after they've been away from each other for so long. I bet Alexander has to stuff a rag in Hephaistion's mouth to keep him from waking up the entire camp.”

Hephaestion's warm laugher echoed through the cottage. Oh, Alexander had never had to stuff a rag in his mouth, but his lover had tied him down on occasion. Hephaestion's laughter changed into chuckling. No, not tied up exactly. Alexander had used silken sheets to tie his hands to the bedposts, but never, ever, so tight that he wouldn't have been able to free himself. Alexander had never felt the urge to smother his screams – they had always turned him on. Hephaestion smirked and continued reading. He was determined to finish this story!

~~~

“What do you suppose Alexander and Hephaistion used for lube?”

Hephaestion nursed his wine and, every so often, took a sip. Time seemed to fly by as he read. That question though caught his attention and he paused his reading in order to remember that one time when they had used honey as a lubricant. It had been a sticky affair and they had ended up practically glued to each other. Using honey had definitely *not* been a success. Thankfully, they had usually had oil near. 

“Do you think there was anything they didn't do back then that we do now?” Jared was circling his fingers idly around the mouth of his beer bottle, staring into the fire. “I mean, sexually. Do you think anything was taboo?”

Oh, yes, even their love had been taboo. In ancient Greece it had been accepted that a younger boy took an older lover for some time, for this experienced man would teach the younger boy all that he needed to know in life and, in return, the younger man would provide the older man with sexual pleasure. His relationship with Alexander had been different: they had been of the same age, and their love had continued long after they had been supposed to fall out of love, marry, and sire children. Yes, they had married, but not because they had fallen in love with these women. No, they had never stopped loving each other. Hephaestion's thoughts drifted off and eventually returned to the section he had been reading. Rimming had been another taboo, something they hadn't engaged in back then. 

The story continued to draw Hephaestion in and a grin settled permanently on his face. The writer had done her job and he had no problems imagining all the events the writer described. He developed a soft spot for Jared and all the problems Colin got him into. He even felt some kinship with the character. Loving Alexander hadn't been easy either. There had been tests, trials of their love, but they had passed them all. 

Hephaestion lost track of time as he devoured part after part of the story. He winced when Jared hit Colin with the tray, almost breaking his nose, but at the same time he also felt deeply for Colin, who was trying to show Jared in a romantic way just how much he loved him. 

He even shed a tear when he hit the part in which Francisco tried to commit suicide and was reminded of the fact that in his first life, Bagoas *had* taken his life. 

During the story, Hephaestion laughed, shed tears, and grinned goofily at the screen. At the same time he continued to drink his wine. When he reached the end of the story, he was more than tipsy and felt naughty enough to react. He had read on the intro page that the writer loved to get some feedback on her story and Hephaestion set about to construct a message. 

Oh, he would probably regret doing this in the morning, but right now, he didn't care. He just had to tell the author how much he had enjoyed Colin's antics which, at times, *had* reminded him of Alexander's. Alexander could also throw a major tantrum, much like Colin had in the story.

Due to his tipsiness, he couldn't type as fast as he normally did and he even blinked once or twice in an effort to focus on the moving letters on the screen. He used Bagoas' Yahoo account to send his message and typed,

To: ladyjackyl@free-joy.org  
Subject: Your Jared and Colin story

My dearest ladyjackyl,

I just finished reading your story with Colin, Jared, Eamon, and Francisco and I couldn't go to bed without letting you know just how much I enjoyed reading it! I do think you have a talent for portraying them in that way! Colin reminded me of his alter ego Alexander a few times. Wow, can he throw a tantrum! Alexander would have a hard time topping such an outburst! I am also glad that you didn't concentrate on the sex all the time. The scenes you wrote (at the beginning of the story) were hot, but I do appreciate the fact that you worked on deepening the love between Jared and Colin! Jared is nothing short of a saint for putting up with such a headstrong, obnoxious Colin for such a long time! As far as I am concerned, Colin deserved that broken nose!  
Ah, and poor Francisco. I do hope he either ends up with Jonathan or Eamon. That poor boy needs a devoted lover!   
Your story kept me up all night, but I don't regret staying up! The story was worth it and I hope you will continue it.

BTW  
1\. Rimming was a taboo, at least for us.  
2\. We *did* rip apart some sheets.  
3\. We had sex each time we could! And I don't recommend using honey as a lubricant!  
4\. Yes, Alexander was a top, much like your Colin is!

Thank you for writing this story!

Your Hephaestion (rather drunk, I am afraid. It is a good thing Alexander isn't here right now, or we might have ended up ripping sheets apart tonight as well!)

Hephaestion read the message once more time and then hit send. The writer of that story probably thought of him as a deranged fan girl, but Hephaestion didn't care. It was too bad that he was too tipsy to voice his praise more eloquently, but it was already five in the morning and his eyes were beginning to close. 

He pushed himself to his feet, still giggling and chuckling. Reading that story had also left him horny, and he frowned, rather displeased with the fact that he was still hard. Hephaestion eventually stumbled into the bedroom, where he let himself fall onto his bed – his lonely, empty bed, bereft of his lovers' warm presence. Oh, how he missed them – Alexander and Bagoas, and he wanted to hold them tight right now. But no, that was a lie. He wanted to do more than just hold them. He wanted to feel Bagoas' lips on his and Alexander's tight channel wrapped around his cock. He unbuttoned his shirt and jeans and kicked them off. Running his hand down his abdomen, he curled his fingers around his hard flesh.

The characters of the story he had just read returned to him and his thoughts spun as he tried to make up his mind on which one he wanted to focus on. He had loved Jared's pliancy, the character's eagerness to receive and be 'fucked', but Colin had displayed an eagerness and passion that called to him as well. For the very first time, he didn't think of his Alexander, or even Bagoas, when he stroked his cock. He focused on feeling Colin enter his body and taking him hard. The fantasy catapulted him to orgasm and cream erupted from the head of his member. A deep sigh left his lips and a silly grin spread across his face. /Oh, Alexander, did you fantasize about Jared in this way?/ Learning that Alexander had wouldn't surprise him. He knew his lover good enough to realize that he would feel attracted to Jared.

Hephaestion cleaned himself up using his shirt and then rolled himself into the sheet. After grabbing hold of the pillow, he pressed it close and closed his eyes, imagining it was Alexander he was holding onto and not just a pillow. 

~~~

Hephaestion's sleep was filled with images of Jared dressed in a djeballa, Colin holding onto his bloody nose, and Francisco and Jonathan dancing around on his bed. When he woke the next morning, his head throbbed and a terrible headache had formed behind his temples. He regretted having overindulged in the wine, but it was too late to change that now. So he dragged himself from the bed and into the bathroom, where he drank several glasses of water. Hopefully that would help the alcohol leave his body. 

He braced himself against the wash basin and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He felt miserable and sympathetic with Colin, just after Jared had smashed his face with that tray. He doubted he would get any writing done as long as he felt this way and dragged himself into the shower cabin. Maybe he would feel better once he had cleaned himself up.

~~~

His laptop was still humming when Hephaestion finally made it into the living room and he was instantly reminded of sending feedback to the author. Oh, he had made a complete ass of himself, especially by adding those last four comments. Hephaestion winced and made a large circle around the laptop and opted for brewing some strong coffee. From the corner of his eye, he stared at the laptop, which continued to hum provocatively. Oh hell, why couldn't he just pretend he hadn't sent that feedback? He still had the whole day ahead of him and he should concentrate on working on his book! 

In the end, Hephaestion opted for the easy way out and took Peritas for a walk. Hopefully he would gain a clear head that way!

~~~

But when he returned from his walk, the laptop was still there, humming softly. Giving in to this insane need to sit down in front of it, Hephaestion went online. He stared at the screen for a long time, but then made a decision and typed 'Thirty seconds to Mars' into the search engine. He had gathered from last night's story that it was the name of Jared's band. Some more surfing resulted in him acquiring some of Jared's songs and the tour dates of the band. 

It appeared they were touring the USA at the moment and Hephaestion wondered if he could talk Alexander and Bagoas into attending one of their gigs. But that was something he would worry about later. First he was going to work some more on his book… but not before rereading some scenes from last night's story. With a big grin on his face, he accessed the part again in which Colin climbed into Jared's room and got hit hard – for some reason, it was his favorite scene!

~~~

"Good morning." Alexander had remained quiet until Bagoas had also finally awoken. It was still early, only 7 AM in the morning, but Alexander reckoned they should make an early start by visiting the police station and then spend the rest of the day in more pleasurable ways. Bagoas would want it over with. 

Bagoas opened his eyes and stared into Alexander's. He had fallen asleep with Alexander's arms wrapped tightly around his frame and he had put his head to rest on Alexander's chest. The gentle rise and fall of Alexander's chest had helped him fall asleep and stay asleep. 

"Morning," Bagoas murmured, smiling at Alexander. He no longer felt so shy and nervous around the older man and for that he was grateful. Spending time with Alexander was helping him reconnect with his former lover. 

"Did you sleep well?" Alexander rolled Bagoas atop of him, then parted and raised his knees so Bagoas could rest against them. But Bagoas chose to lower himself instead and blanket him. 

Bagoas rubbed his cheek against Alexander's chest and stroked the older man's flanks. 

Alexander stretched his legs and continued to smile now that a familiar sound was coming forth from Bagoas' lips. "Are you purring?"

"I might be." Bagoas briefly raised his head to study Alexander's eyes. He felt at peace, even in spite of the prospect of having to visit the police station shortly. Even more so, he felt comfortable and the reason for that was Alexander's presence. Something had happened. Something had changed the nature of their relationship and it had happened yesterday. For the first time since meeting Alexander again, something akin to lust stirred in him and he craved Alexander's touch, something that surprised him.   
He was hard, painfully hard, and a quickly stolen look down Alexander's waist told him that the older man fared no better. "Alexander, I…"

Alexander raised a hand and slid his fingers through Bagoas' mane, which was growing tangled again. "What would you like to do? Tell me." He was incredibly grateful that Hephaestion had been such a good teacher to both of them. Bagoas had learned to set boundaries, while Alexander had learned to hand over control. 

"I don't know," Bagoas replied truthfully. He propped himself up on his elbows and probed Alexander's eyes.

"I would like for you to find out." Alexander placed his hands on either side of Bagoas' head. Tousled hair moved through his fingers and he brought Bagoas in for an encouraging kiss. Like Bagoas, he had no idea where this would take them, but he was willing to find out – almost eager to find out. "I missed you," he whispered against Bagoas' lips just before they made contact with his.

Bagoas surrendered to the kiss after hearing and understanding those words. Alexander had missed him in the capacity of his lover. Yes, there had been love between them once – love, which had been of a different nature than Alexander's love for Hephaestion, but still *love*. As he still felt calm and at ease, Bagoas continued the kissing and found much pleasure in tasting that familiar mouth again. Alexander's hands now moved down his back and settled on his narrow hips. 

Alexander loved the way Bagoas minutely swayed atop of him; it told him that Bagoas' passion was climbing higher. One hand stole further down and his fingers curled around Bagoas' weeping member. This had never happened in their first life; Bagoas hadn't been able to grow hard or to find release. The fact that things were different between them now turned Alexander on even more. "Do you already know what you would like to do?" He was growing eager to take this to the next level.

"I don't know," Bagoas admitted in a soft, lust-filled voice. After a pause, he then told Alexander what he had told Hephaestion when they had started on their sexual journey. "I just want to feel good." The blinding smile that Alexander gave him threw him momentarily off balance and that wasn't the only thing that startled him. Before he could stop Alexander, the older man had reversed their roles and was now straddling him. Bagoas found himself on his back, and Alexander was quickly, eagerly, licking his way down his abdomen until the lapping tongue encountered his hard flesh. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Alexander knelt between Bagoas' legs, which he had parted, and then bent forward until his face was only an inch away from Bagoas' erection. "I am trying to get acquainted with this delicious part of you." 

Bagoas blushed. "Alexander…"

But Alexander ignored him. Stretching out on his stomach, he propped himself up on one elbow and grinned. "Hello there, I don't think I properly introduced myself to you yet." 

It took Bagoas a moment to realize that Alexander was actually talking to his erection. "Alexander!"

"Let's do so now." Alexander's tongue popped out and bestowed a lick from the base up to the head of Bagoas' twitching member. "I hope that we will spend a lot of time together in the future." Growing wicked, he swirled his tongue around the head, teasing the slit until it released its juices. 

Bagoas' fingers clawed at the sheets and he raised his hips instinctively. A moan escaped from deep within his throat and, feeling Alexander's lips close over the tip of his erection, caused shivers to move through his body. 

Alexander wrapped his fingers around the base of Bagoas' shaft and stroked lightly. Relaxing his throat muscles, he took Bagoas deeper until the hard flesh had found a new home in his mouth. Bagoas began to thrust and Alexander went with the movement. One of Bagoas' hands found its way into his hair and massaged his scalp. Alexander moaned deeply around the head of Bagoas' cock and the vibrations caused a spasm to course through Bagoas' lower body. Realizing Bagoas was close, he let the hard flesh slip from his lips. 

Bagoas' eyes widened once Alexander stopped sucking him and he raised them to find out why his lover had stopped. 

"Do you want to come? Now? Like this?" Alexander licked his lips in a provocative way. Maybe this time he would finally get his way with Bagoas. His poor lover had no idea what he had in store for him. 

"What other way is there to come?" Bagoas was still moving his hips, trying to find release in that way, but now that Alexander's hands and tongue were gone, he lacked the proper stimulation to come. 

"You could come while you are inside of me." Silence followed Alexander's words. Bagoas stared at him like he had just grown a second head and that expression made him chuckle. "Well, do you?"

Bagoas swallowed hard. A lump of emotions had formed in his throat at hearing Alexander's words. "You would do that for me?" When he had asked Alexander that question that night on the beach, he had never thought the former King would allow it! 

"I want to do this for you." Alexander pressed butterfly kisses onto Bagoas' flat abdomen and ran his fingers up the hairless chest until they brushed against already hard nipples. "Do you want this?"

Bagoas resolutely pushed himself upright and stared at Alexander. "Alexander, I… I understand why you allow Hephaestion to take you – after all, you are equals, but why me? I am nothing but…"

Alexander acted quickly and silenced Bagoas by caressing his bottom lip. "You are my lover and I have the right to pleasure you in this way, or would you take that away from me?" Oh, he had learned well from Hephaestion how to play dirty! The way he had just phrased it gave Bagoas no choice but to accept this. "I want this as much as you do."

After wanting this for such a long time, Bagoas now felt nervous and wished he had a way out of this situation. In some distant corner of his mind he still viewed Alexander as his King and it was unheard of for a slave to take a King. "We don't have any lube," he stated, getting cold feet.

"Oh, we *do*. Hephaestion packed it before we left!" He had found the lubricant in his suit case when he had unpacked yesterday. He had even gone as far as to store it in the nightstand. He opened the drawer, uncovered the tube, and placed it on the bed next to Bagoas. "See?"

Bagoas' nervousness increased and it was causing him to lose his erection. "Alexander, I can't… You are…"

"I am your lover, not your King," Alexander interrupted in a knowing voice. He finally realized how important it was that they took this step and he reached for the tube. He squeezed a generous amount of the lubricant into the palm of his hand and then reached for Bagoas' faltering erection. Big-eyed, Bagoas stared at him and Alexander thought he saw fear there, but why it was there puzzled him. Rubbing the lube onto Bagoas' member, he continued his seduction and pressed kisses on the abdomen before letting his tongue travel lower to lap at Bagoas' testes. 

Alexander's actions paid off and Bagoas fully hardened again. The feel of Alexander's slick and skilled fingers on his member made him thrust into that hand and slowly, his fear dimmed. Lust had taken over – lust, love, and also the thrill of doing something new. This would be the first time that he would be inside of Alexander – his King, his lover.

Alexander always kept a close eye on Bagoas and seeing his lover slip into this lust-filled state thrilled him. He had coated Bagoas' shaft with the lube and now reached behind him to prepare himself. Bagoas' eyes had closed and Alexander managed to kiss those ruby lips while preparing himself at the same time. He had never prepared himself before, as Hephaestion had always done that for him, and inserting his fingers into his opening felt weird at best, but once his fingertips brushed against his prostate, he grew more eager to proceed. 

"Alexander…" Bagoas had opened his eyes again and now stared at the fair-haired vision that lowered himself onto his hard flesh. He moaned loudly and needily when the head of his erection slipped past Alexander's ring of muscle. He was inside – just barely, but inside.

Alexander twined their fingers and used that hold to balance himself. Bagoas caught on quickly and supported him every way he could. Alexander pushed down and a beautiful moan escaped him as he took Bagoas in inch by inch, teasingly slow because he wanted to make this good for his lover. 

Alexander pushed Bagoas' hands onto the mattress and steadied himself. Bagoas' fingers flexed against his and he leaned in closer to kiss his lover. "You feel good inside of me." Having Bagoas inside him felt different from having Hephaestion penetrating him. Now that Bagoas was firmly lodged inside him, Alexander blanketed Bagoas, rubbing his chest against his lover's. He rested his head against Bagoas' shoulder and allowed his lover to truly savor the experience. 

Bagoas was quickly losing the ability to think clearly. Yes, he had been inside of Hephaestion, and that had felt wonderful as well, but this was Alexander – his Alexander, his King who was allowing this. "By the gods…" Bagoas raised his hands and by doing so he forced Alexander's hands to follow. He poised them mid-air and wondered if Alexander understood what he wanted him to do.

Alexander licked his lips, gave Bagoas a leering grin, and then raised himself, using the hold Bagoas had on his hands as leverage. 

Bagoas whimpered. The sensation was divine. Alexander felt tight and warm around his eager member, and when his lover impaled himself again, Bagoas released a scream. 

Seeing Bagoas in such surrender made Alexander even more determined to do this right. He set a slow, but fulfilling rhythm and rotated his hips occasionally. It took Bagoas some time to grow confident enough to start thrusting, but in the end he did. 

Alexander expected Bagoas to come quickly, but his lover lasted remarkably long. Giving in to his wicked streak, he raised himself until only the tip of Bagoas' member remained inside him and then asked, "How does it feel?"

Bagoas' pupils had dilated and his breath came in wild gasps. "Please," was the only answer he was capable of.

Alexander had pity on him and impaled himself once more. This time, he went for a faster rhythm, knowing Bagoas was becoming desperate to come. 

Time stopped existing for Bagoas. The world ceased moving around the sun and all Bagoas knew was the rhythmic clenching of Alexander's channel around his cock when his lover finally succumbed to his climax. Something warm splashed against his abdomen and chest, and Bagoas whimpered now that the spasms contracted around his member. "Alexander, I…" He was about to come and wanted to give his lover – his King – a warning, so Alexander could pull away before he came inside of him. Surely Alexander would never allow that!

But Alexander reacted by grinding his buttocks against Bagoas' lap and then he leaned in closer so he could lick Bagoas' throat. 

That manipulation sent Bagoas over the edge and he jerked violently as he finally found release, still deeply rooted inside Alexander's body. 

Alexander quickly let go of Bagoas' hands and pushed his hands beneath the trembling form so he could enfold his lover in a tight hug. Bagoas clung to him during the moments of his release and sharp teeth even penetrated the skin of his shoulder. Bagoas had bitten him. 

His climax was powerful and consumed him completely. Bagoas quivered over his entire body as he released his seed deep inside his King – his precious King, Alexander, the man he loved – had always loved. Everything became clear to him that very moment. He loved Alexander, always had, always would, but there was more. He loved Hephaestion as well, and while he clung to Alexander, he realized that they indeed had come full circle and that he was safe with them – safe enough to trust his body to them. They would never hurt or abuse him. He could surrender to their love, to their care – he could allow them to take him. They would always treat him with the utmost care and love. 

"What are you thinking of?" Alexander wondered about the expression in Bagoas' eyes.

Unable to lie, or dismiss Alexander's question, Bagoas replied truthfully, "I finally understand… I love you, Alexander… and I love Hephaestion… Do you think that is possible that we… that the three of us… that we can make love once Hephaestion joins us?"

Alexander smiled tenderly at Bagoas. "You would like that?"

Bagoas nodded his head once. He no longer felt shy and nervous around Alexander and readily told him the truth. "I would like for Hephaestion to take me."

Alexander's eyes widened marginally. "Are you sure?" He didn't want to bring up Bagoas' painful past while Bagoas was still inside of him, but the fact was that his lover's words surprised him. 

"Yes, I am certain." Bagoas raised a hand and eased some of Alexander's damp strands out of the handsome face. "I want you to take me too – in the future, but I want Hephaestion to be the first to do that," he added after a moment's thought. "Do you understand that, Alexander?" Had Alexander truly changed and matured enough to understand why he was voicing this request?

"I think I understand." Alexander nuzzled Bagoas' throat and then sucked the skin there.

Bagoas sucked in his breath, realizing only too well that Alexander's actions would leave behind one hell of a passion mark. 

"I want everyone… to see… that you are… my lover," Alexander whispered in between licks and gentle sucking. 

Tears gathered in Bagoas' eyes. "I don't deserve you… either of you."

"Oh, it is quite the contrary, Bagoas. You do deserve me and Hephaestion." Alexander smiled at Bagoas and then his younger lover finally took the initiative to kiss him. This time, Bagoas was in control of their kiss and Alexander savored the fact that his lover was deepening it. Subconsciously, he realized that he had finally set a part of Bagoas free that, until today, had still been enslaved.

TBC

Part 5

"I don't want to do this." Bagoas glared at the entrance to the police station. 

Alexander rested a hand on the younger man's shoulder and squeezed gently, which he hoped would reassure his lover. "But you must. And once you have done this, you will finally be free of your past." It was regrettable, but necessary that Bagoas faced his past. 

"I will do this, but only if you promise me something." Bagoas turned around and Alexander's hand slipped from his shoulder. He locked eyes with Alexander. "I don't want you in there with me when they question me." For one moment, a nervous twitch appeared near the corner of his mouth. "I don't want you to know the… details," he explained eventually, after considering the best word to describe those physical aspects of his past. 

"If that's what it takes I will stay in the next room, but I want you to know that I am there for you. If you need me, just ask for me and I will join you. Do you understand? You don't have to do this alone."

Bagoas nodded once. "I understand that you want to be there for me, but this is something I *must* do alone." Bagoas drew in a deep breath, opened the door, and entered the police station.

~~~

Everything happened rapidly once they were inside. Bagoas was guided into one of the interrogation rooms and questioned by the officer in charge of the investigation. Alexander paced the corridor and cast intimidating looks at those officers who were getting too close to him. 

It helped that Alexander spoke Greek. That fact made communication much easier, but it had also gained him some odd looks. Most Greeks didn't seem to expect an American tourist to speak their language that fluently. 

Alexander caught himself growling when another officer approached. The man voiced his request in a soft, almost intimidated voice, but Alexander refused to take a seat in the waiting room. He had promised Bagoas to stay close and he was a man of honor who always kept his word. He insisted he waited there and, in the end, the officer gave up and let him be. 

Almost an hour passed by before Bagoas joined him. The younger man looked shaken. He had grown pale and the dark eyes were once more haunted. In his hands, he clutched his papers – his passport and other official documents which he needed in order to get his life back on track. 

"What happened?" Alexander slung an arm around Bagoas' waist and pointedly ignored the curious looks they were attracting. "Do you have to come back or are they done questioning you?" He wanted to get Bagoas away from the police station as quickly as possible. The spa facility Hephaestion had booked them into was next on his to do list and he couldn't wait to get Bagoas into more relaxing surroundings.

Bagoas' mouth had gone dry and swallowing was almost painful. He had talked non stop for the last hour, having only been interrupted if the police officer had a question he wanted him to answer. "I need a drink."

Alexander recalled having seen a tavern close to the police station and began to lead Bagoas toward the exit. Since no one tried to stop them, he figured that the police were done with their questioning and that Bagoas was free to go. He noticed how tightly Bagoas clutched his passport and wished he could do something more profound in order to comfort Bagoas. "You are free to go?"

Bagoas nodded once and released a shaky sigh once they stepped onto the street again. He followed Alexander blindly and obediently sat down when Alexander selected a table on the balcony. A waiter appeared and Alexander ordered two espressos, hoping the strong, black coffee would jolt Bagoas from his stupor. "Do you want me to put those papers away?" He was carrying a rucksack and figured the papers would end up in shreds otherwise, judging by the way Bagoas continued to claw at them. 

Bagoas gave Alexander another unsteady nod and forced himself to unwrap his fingers from the papers. He watched Alexander put them away and then noticed the concerned expression on the other man's face. The coffee arrived and Bagoas downed it in one go. The caffeine hit his system right away and a series of shivers coursed through him. Just before the waiter could leave, Bagoas ordered a glass of water and some chamomile tea. 

Alexander placed his fingers atop of Bagoas' and rubbed them. "Are you ready to tell me what happened?" He knew he wouldn't get any details, as Bagoas was still uncomfortable telling him those things, but he hoped he would hear what had happened in general. 

"They asked me questions. It appears that they have been looking for me all along. One of the other boys told them about me, and they seemed relieved to have found me." Bagoas stared at their fingers and twined his with Alexander's. "They wanted to know what I had been forced to do and I told them."

Alexander nodded his head once and gently squeezed Bagoas' fingers. "You don't have to tell me, you know that."

"You know most of what happened," Bagoas replied while shrugging his shoulders. "But I don't want to have to tell it again." He hesitantly peeked at Alexander's gaze, which was open and concerned. "At first, they wanted me to stay with a foster family, as I am still too young to be on my own according to Greek law. I am nineteen and I need some sort of guardian until I turn twenty-one. I gave them your name, your cell phone number, and our address. They seemed content with that and would look into the possibility of you becoming my guardian for those two years."

Alexander beamed with pride and happiness. "You did well."

 

Bagoas shook his head. "I cried through most of it. I was crying so bad that I wasn't certain I could finish my story, but I must say that they were very understanding. They didn't push me at all. I didn't expect that."

"You are the victim here, Bagoas. You might at times forget that, but they don't." 

Bagoas' order arrived and he sipped the water before starting on the tea. "I asked them if I had to testify in the upcoming trial. They said they had a large number of witnesses and convincing evidence and would only call upon me if necessary."

"That means they are rather certain that these criminals will be convicted and will go to jail."

"They are already in jail, awaiting their trial." Bagoas blinked; he still had a hard time believing that everything had gone so well. "They expect them to be sentenced to at least ten years without probation. Probably even longer. Alexander, it felt so unreal when they handed me my papers."

Alexander offered Bagoas all the support he was capable of by listening to him, touching him, and waiting for him to sort out his emotions and thoughts. Throughout that time he simply rubbed Bagoas' fingers and maintained eye contact. It took Bagoas almost half an hour to deal with what had just happened, but once he had accepted that he was free of his past, a smile burst forth from his face. "I am a free man."

"Yes, you are, my love." Alexander guided Bagoas' hand to his lips and pressed a chaste kiss on its back. "Do you want to stay here or should we move onto that spa?" 

"I want to sit here a moment longer… just one more moment." Bagoas sipped his tea and kept stealing adoring looks at Alexander. "I am free," he mumbled in between sips. 

"Yes, you are…" Alexander gave Bagoas all the time he needed and felt happy that they could finally close this sordid chapter of Bagoas' life.

~~~

They arrived at the spa an hour later. They checked in with the receptionist and were guided to a room, where swimming attire, morning robes, slippers in different sizes, and fluffy towels already awaited them. Alexander put all their valuables in the facilities safe and then followed the receptionist into the pool area. He let himself glide into the warm, thermal water and raised his hand to catch Bagoas' in his. Bagoas gave him a warm smile and sat down next to Alexander. They held hands beneath the surface of the water and smiled happily at each other. 

Bagoas coughed in order to clear his throat and then said, "Alexander, thank you for asking your Captain to sort this out. I don't know if I could have followed through without all the support."

"It was the least I could do." Alexander rested his head back and continued to smile. The roof over their heads was made of glass and offered them a spectacular view of the skies. "I want you to be happy."

Bagoas scooted closer and waited until Alexander raised his head to look him in the eye. "I love you, Alexander."

Alexander's smile brightened. "I love you, Bagoas." Hephaestion would love hearing the way they sounded and that thought made Alexander grin. 

"What is it?" 

"Hephaestion would love to hear us say such things." 

Now that Alexander was bringing up Hephaestion, Bagoas' mood darkened. "I miss him."

"He will join us in a few days' time. We will pick him up at the airport and show him around town."

Bagoas licked his lips, hoping Alexander hadn't misunderstood. "I like being here with you, Alexander, but…"

"I understand, Bagoas. I miss him too." Alexander splashed Bagoas and they were about to engage in a mock fight when one of the employees walked up to them to announce they were due for their massages. Alexander sighed, appreciating that Hephaestion was so good in taking care of them, even from such a distance. "A massage sounds just fine."

Bagoas followed Alexander's example and also exited the pool. He felt like he was living in a dream and, until today, he had expected that dream to come to an abrupt end, but not anymore. He was slowly beginning to realize that it would be like this for the rest of his life.

~~~

Bagoas completely relaxed during the massage. The masseuse worked gently but resolutely on his tense muscles and when she was done, he felt completely at ease. 

"May I suggest a visit to our hair dresser, sir? You booked an all in package and that also includes the hair dresser. I couldn't help but notice you have split ends." She had loved touching him, massaging him. Her client wasn't just downright beautiful, but also friendly and she wanted to help him make the best out of his stay here. 

"Is it that bad?" Bagoas pushed himself upright and let his long legs dangle from the massage table. 

"Not bad," she said quickly, reassuring him. "You have healthy thick hair. It just needs a little trimming. Do you want me to call and see if she still has an open spot today?"

Bagoas nodded and answered, "Thank you."

She gave him a radiant smile and made the call. Bagoas had an appointment in thirty minutes thanks to her sweet talking.

~~~

Alexander had also enjoyed his massage and felt reborn. The tension had left his body and he felt flexible again. When he arrived in the waiting area, he found he was alone there – Bagoas was nowhere in sight. Maybe the masseuse needed some extra time to work on his limbs and Alexander decided to stick around and wait. Dressed in his comfortable morning robe and some ridiculous slippers, he drank some water and flipped through magazines. 

Bagoas arrived almost forty-five minutes later and Alexander put the magazine aside to greet him. He frowned, realizing something was different about his lover. 

Seeing Alexander's puzzled expression, Bagoas explained, "They trimmed my hair." It was all shiny, free of tangles, and the split ends were gone. 

"They did a good job on you." Alexander smiled and walked up to him. "Are you up for some swimming?"

Bagoas nodded; he was in need of some exercise as well. 

~~~

That evening, after they had returned to the hotel, Bagoas took hold of Alexander's cell phone and dialed Hephaestion's number. They were once more seated on the balcony and the Acropolis looked like liquid gold. He would never tire of the magnificent view. Alexander had excused himself for a few moments and Bagoas hadn't pried. Alexander was entitled to his privacy when he needed it. 

"Hello? Who is this? Alexander? Or Bagoas?" Hephaestion quickly closed his laptop. He had been surfing again and had actually joined a few communities. He had decided that he liked the world of slash and had been reading fics all day long. He was even considering writing one himself or sending in Alexander's pornographic snippet. The readers would probably love to read some nc-17 snippets. The ringing of the phone had startled him and, although no one could check on what he was doing, he had quickly closed the sites and his laptop. 

"Thank you for sending us to that spa. We had a lovely, relaxing day."

"Ah, Bagoas, it is you!" Hephaestion grew melancholy; hearing Bagoas' voice made him realize just how much he missed him and Alexander. "You enjoyed the treat? Good, for the two of you deserve being pampered!"

"We went to the station this morning and, Hephaestion, they gave me back my passport. I am free man!" Bagoas had been bursting to tell Hephaestion the good news. "Those pimps are already in jail and awaiting their trial. I am out of danger!"

"That is so good to hear!" Hephaestion smiled into the phone. "Now you can finally completely relax and enjoy your time in Athens!"

"When will you join us, Hephaestion? We miss you!"

"You miss me already? I thought the two of you would be busy and not miss me at all." That, of course, was a white lie.

"I want you here and so does Alexander."

"Speaking of Alexander – how are things between the two of you? Do you feel more comfortable around him, Bagoas?" He really hoped the two of them had reconnected.

"Better," Bagoas replied. "Alexander and I… we made love this morning." It felt odd to be telling this to Hephaestion, but Bagoas still needed Hephaestion to guide him in these matters. "He took himself…"

Had Hephaestion been close enough to hug and kiss Alexander, he would have done so. He knew how big Alexander's leap of faith must have been to have done that. "And did you like it?"

"I did… It felt wrong at first because… because… I still think of him as my King."

Hephaestion chuckled. "That will change once you take him more often, Bagoas."

Bagoas swallowed. "Do you think it will happen again then? That he will allow me to…?"

 

"Oh, I am certain of it. Now that he has taken that step, he will want to take a few more as well." Hephaestion was happy now that Bagoas continued to heal – that had been the main reason why he had sent them off by themselves.

"Hephaestion, I…" Bagoas nervously glanced about, but none of the other guests was paying him any attention and Alexander still hadn't joined him so Bagoas felt confident enough to continue. "I told Alexander that I want *you* to take me first and he understood."

Hephaestion blinked. "What did you say?"

 

"I realized something when Alexander made love to me. I realized that I am safe with you – the two of you. You have been mine, no, our, teacher all along and I want you to guide me in this matter as well." 

Hephaestion was briefly speechless. "Bagoas, you don't have to do this," he managed eventually. 

"No, I *want* to do this; that is a different thing." From the corner of his eye he saw Alexander approach, dressed in jeans which hugged his form, a black shirt, buttoned down to the navel, and with his hair dancing against his shoulders. Bagoas' body instantly reacted and his groin tightened in response to the sensual challenge Alexander was issuing. He knew Alexander good enough to realize what this was about. Alexander *was* issuing a challenge and Bagoas wanted nothing more than to take him up on it, but he wasn't certain he had the courage to follow through. "Alexander is here and he looks…"

Hephaestion had a pretty good idea what Alexander might look like. "Good enough to eat?"

"Something like that."

"Are you talking to Hephaestion?" Alexander seated himself and arched an eyebrow at Bagoas. "Telling each other dirty secrets?" To his delight, his remark caused Bagoas to blush. 

Bagoas said his goodbyes to Hephaestion and handed the phone to Alexander. He was grateful that he had opted to wear comfortable slacks tonight as they camouflaged his arousal. 

"Bagoas told me what happened today. Are you still coping?" Hephaestion couldn't stop himself from worrying, knowing from personal experience that Alexander sometimes didn't deal with emotional problems to his best ability. 

"Everything is fine," Alexander replied, "We are better than we have ever been. Hephaestion, when will you join us?"

"I haven't booked my plane tickets yet. I will do so tonight and let you know when to expect me. Are you going to pick me up or should I get a cab?"

"We will pick you up!" Alexander sounded and looked indignant. 

"All right, I will be looking for you then." Hephaestion was already in the process of checking the flights that would take him to Athens. "Is the hotel to your liking? I booked it for a week. We can either prolong our stay there or opt for something else – another hotel -- or we could rent an apartment." 

"The hotel is just fine. I think you would be hard-pressed to find better accommodations," Alexander replied, watching closely as Bagoas sipped his wine. The dark eyes were lucid and full of life and energy, quite the change from the way they had looked that morning.

Hephaestion looked upon Alexander's answer as a challenge. Until now, he had hardly ever made any use of the fact that he was a millionaire, well, technically his father was, but what was the use of having so much money when he never spent any? "Oh, let me worry about that!"

Alexander groaned. "Hephaestion…"

"You had better concentrate on finding some nice birthday gifts for Bagoas," Hephaestion replied and by doing so, he didn't give Alexander a chance to protest his decision. 

"All right, I will do just that." Bagoas was already giving him impatient looks from across the dinner table and Alexander forced himself to end the conversation. "We wouldn't mind if you flew in early, you know." He could only hope Hephaestion *really* understood that he was wanted and needed here.

"I will see what I can do. Now be a good boy and concentrate on pampering Bagoas." Hephaestion terminated the call and opened his laptop once more. He logged in and opened his inbox at Yahoo, eager to read new stories. After reading his messages, he might try his hand and write some slash himself.

TBC

Part 6

Alexander and Bagoas spent the rest of the evening chatting, giving each other coy looks, and occasionally brushing fingers when they thought no one was looking. Bagoas felt thrilled now that the old attraction had burst into life again. The feelings he had once had for Alexander were rapidly returning and he couldn't wait to be alone with his lover. He had always loved Alexander – he still did – but now his insane jealousy toward Hephaestion was gone. What helped was that he now loved Hephaestion as well. Bagoas could actually picture themselves being happy and fulfilled in this relationship – all three of them. 

Once dinner had come to an end, Alexander took the lead by wrapping his fingers around Bagoas'. He guided the younger man toward the bar, where he ordered some wine and then led Bagoas to a table at the back. Sitting down, he pulled Bagoas close and his lover sat down beside him. "You seem relaxed and happy," Alexander commented as he studied Bagoas' eyes. They were on fire and a glow coming from within illuminated them. 

"I do feel relaxed and happy," Bagoas murmured and smiled tenderly at Alexander. "So much happened today." He sipped his wine and gathered his thoughts. He wanted Alexander to understand something very important and he had to phrase it in a way so Alexander couldn't misunderstand. "What happened between us this morning changed me. The fact you took yourself like that still stuns me. I never thought you would allow me inside of you."

Alexander remained quiet; it was obvious that Bagoas hadn't finished yet.

"You must know that I still saw you as my King until this morning." Bagoas moistened his lips and tried to find the right words. "Hephaestion and you so easily accepted your past and your old self effortlessly melted with your present self. You made your past a part of you and then moved on. I didn't know how to do that." Bagoas took another sip of his wine and his eyes gained a watery glint now that he was about to continue. "I love you *and* I love Hephaestion." He raised his hand and ran his fingers through Alexander's hair. "Everything has changed. Everything is different now."

Alexander nodded and smiled. "I understand, Bagoas. Believe me, I really do."

~~~

That night, they simply snuggled up together, kissed, and held each other close. A new sense of understanding had formed between them – they were truly equals now.

~~~

Hephaestion's eyes glowed with excitement as he posted Alexander's snippet about their night spent on the balcony in Babylon. He had posted it in a community called Hephaestion + fans. He had been lurking there for two days now and was ready to step out of the shadows. He had chosen Hephaestion_Alexander as his username and wondered how long it would take for the first readers to send in feedback. 

He had never received a reply regarding the feedback he had left that writer and felt a bit relieved about that. He would have hated having to explain why he had added those four comments. Maybe he had actually scared the author of that series!

Hephaestion rose from his chair and headed into the kitchen where he opened a bottle of red wine. After pouring himself a glass, he returned to the living room and took his seat again. With one eye, he watched his inbox, ready to read any feedback the readers might send him. He did feel a bit guilty for sending in Alexander's snippet instead of his own writing, but he was really curious to find out what those readers would make of that snippet. It had turned Alexander on and him as well. 

After opening Word, he stared at the blank screen. Writing slash couldn't be *that* hard! Even Alexander had managed to write some snippets. But how did one go about writing an NC-17 snippet? Hephaestion knew his limitations and didn't even attempt writing a longer story yet. First, he needed practice. He needed to get the hang of it.

/Alexander described a very powerful mating… Maybe I should do the same? Maybe I should write about our first time together?/ Hephaestion's eyes suddenly darkened. /Or our last time?/ But he wasn't sure he wanted to dwell on those last moments. /Maybe that is exactly why I have to do it. It might me help exorcise some demons./ Hephaestion drank some more wine and stared at the screen, brooding. 

Their last time together… Those last few months before his death had not been happy ones. It had been the first time that Alexander and he had actually had a serious argument. 

# I can't believe this is happening. Alexander has actually befriended Eumenes! I told him not to, but Alexander didn't listen to me. He offered Eumenes his hand in friendship and the bastard took it. In a way, I can't blame Alexander for reaching out to Eumenes. Alexander doesn't know what happened so many years ago and neither do I want him to know. But his friendship with Eumenes is tearing us apart and I hate Eumenes for that. In a way, I also hate Alexander for betraying our love.

Alexander and I haven't talked in days. He insists that I befriend Eumenes as well, but Alexander has no idea what he is asking of me. I will never accept that bastard near me. If Alexander values his friendship with Eumenes over his love for me, then so be it. In that case, it is obvious that he never loved me. That he only used me to keep himself sane.

I can't stop staring at Alexander as he passes me by. He is on his way to his tent, where Bagoas will tend to his every need. The truth is that Alexander no longer needs me. He has finally achieved his goals, has dealt with most of his demons, and finds the comfort he needs in Bagoas' arms instead of mine. I don't blame Bagoas for that – I blame Alexander.#

Hephaestion blinked at the screen. Until now, he hadn't realized he had felt so resentful toward Alexander. What other secrets would his writing uncover?

#My arms ache because they are so used to holding him, but Alexander didn't even look at me. How can he so easily throw away my love? 

By Zeus, I can't tell him why I hate Eumenes, why I can't bear his presence. I can't.

I return to my bed and sit down on it, huddled in blankets in order to keep warm and in an effort to draw comfort from its warm and soft texture. Shivers wrack my body and I know my illness is getting worse. I picked it up in India and, for some time, my body fought it with success, but now it seems to have given up. I am growing weaker and I need Alexander so much – but Alexander doesn't even seem to notice I am not well.

Alexander demands that I apologize to Eumenes for my rude behavior and, once I have done that, he will accept me into his arms again. That is the place where I want to be the most, but the price is so high! I was convinced that Alexander would choose me over his friendship with Eumenes! But I was mistaken… and now, I am alone.#

Hephaestion sniffed and fought back the tears which were building in his eyes. He would never forget what had happened the next day.

#"Hephaestion, I demand you offer Eumenes your apologies. The way you treated him is unacceptable!" 

Alexander stands in front of me and glares me down. We have retreated from the camp and rode out here to have some privacy. I have finally made the decision to tell him. I never wanted to tell him, but I don't have a choice. I can't lose him over this! I need Alexander too much! Without him, I am nothing… and my time is limited, I realize that now. I saw a physician yesterday and he told me how the illness would progress and that I would be dead in a few months. I don't want to be alone during the last months of my life!

"Hephaestion? Did you hear me? Why are you so stubborn?" 

Alexander's glare wounds me. I never thought he could ever look at me like that. "Alexander, when did you stop loving me? When did this friendship to someone who is practically a stranger become more important to you than my love for you? Than your love for me? I don't understand."

Alexander shakes his head. "I am the King, Hephaestion. I can't have you defy me in public." 

But his voice is already less vehement and encourages me to continue. "There was a time when you told everyone who wanted to know that I am Alexander too. What changed?" Alexander's whole demeanor suddenly changes and makes me hopeful that I am getting through to him. Maybe he still loves me and only needs to be reminded of that.

When Alexander looks at me again it is with love in his eyes. The emotions are back – his love for me is back and I need to hear him say the words so much that I am not beyond begging. "Please, Alexander. Tell me you still love me. Don't cast me aside."

Alexander's arms are suddenly around me and I press close against him. I pray that he doesn't notice the shivers washing over me – and if he does, I hope he will attribute them to nervousness and not to my illness. I don't want him to know that I am slowly dying of typhus. There is nothing he can do to stop it from happening. "Just hold me, please."

"Oh, Hephaestion, I am sorry that I let my temper rule me. I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't realize that I wounded you." 

I devour his words – I wanted him to hold me and now he is doing just that. "I didn't want to defy you, Alexander, and certainly not in public, but I can't be friends with Eumenes ever!"

My vehement voice takes him aback and his eyes seek out mine. Determinedly, I return his stare. If he demands an explanation, I will have to give him one, but I'd rather not.

"Why? Why do you hate him? What did he ever do to you, Hephaestion? Eumenes mentioned that you never liked him – that you were never able to act in a civilized manner toward him. Why?"

My throat has gone dry, but I still attempt to swallow the lump of emotions and memories that block my airway. "Don't make me tell you."

The expression in Alexander's eyes changes and he says, "Tell me, Hephaestion."

I draw in a deep breath and gather my courage. I never wanted to tell him. I always wanted to keep this from him! "Why did you have to befriend him? I never wanted you to know that…"

"What?" Alexander's eyes narrow. "Eumenes once told me that he has known you for a very long time – since your childhood? Is that correct?"

I don't want to do this. I don't want to tell Alexander this…#

Hephaestion stared at the text on the screen. How was it possible that he had blocked this out? That he had locked out what had happened on the day Alexander and he had reconciled and buried their argument? He hadn't remembered until today. Lost in a trance, Hephaestion's fingers typed away, bringing long repressed memories back to life.

#"I don't want you to know, Alexander." I tear myself away from him and break contact. If I have to tell him this, I don't want him to be touching me – I don't want to be looking in his eyes when I reveal the truth.

"Hephaestion, I don't know you like this. You are scaring me." Alexander's voice is soft and full of emotion. "Don't do this. Don't lock me out. I am sorry I yelled at you instead of asking you why you dislike Eumenes that much. I don't know what is wrong with me… You know how easily my temper gets the better of me."

He places his hand on my shoulder, but I resolutely shake it off. "Alexander, I hate that man for a reason – a very good reason, I think." Alexander is quiet now, and seems to be holding his breath. I have to do this now or I will never find the courage to do so again. "You are right – Eumenes has known me for a long time. The first time that I met that man was when I was six years old. I was alone. My mother had died, my father had left on business, and he had appointed Eumenes as my tutor before his departure. I instantly disliked him and tried to stay clear of him. But, as his student, that was almost impossible." Suddenly anger flares in the pit of my stomach and I spin around to face Alexander. "He touched me, Alexander – intimately and against my will! And now you are asking me to befriend that man! My father chased him off when he found out what Eumenes had been up to!"

Alexander blinks and swallows hard. I know he never expected to hear anything like this, but I have reached a point where I just don't care about his feelings. He didn't care about mine either when he locked me out. "I locked those memories out! I told myself that it never happened and *your* love, *your* passion helped me become whole again, and now, you have reopened old wounds!"

I hate the way Alexander's eyes fill with guilt. I want to reassure him, but I can't. He has hurt me too much by taking Eumenes' side in this. "Do you understand now? Do you understand why my stomach turns when I see him? How I loathe his touch? Why I can't be civil toward him?" I spit those words at Alexander in such a violent voice that my tone takes even me aback. But the dam has broken and I unleash my anger. "You are my lover! You are the other half of my soul! You were supposed to support me! To believe me! But no, you turned against me!" I punch him – hard – but he takes it in stride and doesn't defend himself. Another punch follows and another… He lets me pound him until I have worn myself down – which is easily enough in my weakened state. "I need you, my Alexander. You have no idea how much!"

I crumble and threaten to go down on my knees, but Alexander enfolds me in a tight hug and he draws me close – so close… and he feels warm. Oh, I need to feel him! I need to know he still loves me, especially now that I know how limited our remaining time together will be. 

"I will banish him, Hephaestion. I will make certain that he will never get close to you again. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Alexander grows quiet and finds the answer to his own question. "Were you ashamed? But this happened so long ago and it wasn't your fault!"

His hands find their way beneath my robes and their touch warms my chilly body. "You were cross with me right from the start. How was I supposed to tell you?" I feel tired, so very tired, and I want nothing more than to lie down and go to sleep. Alexander raises my head and I am forced to look into his eyes once more. They possess a softness I have seldom seen before and they are open and inviting. "I love you, my Alexander… I need you."

"You will always have my love, Hephaestion." Alexander briefly closes his eyes and I know him good enough to know that he is now blaming himself for the mistakes he made. I let him – he *did* make mistakes.

"I should never have dismissed you that easily. I deserve each punch that you threw at me. Oh, my sweet Hephaestion, how could I ever wrong you? How could I abandon you?" 

I drink in his words and cling to them. I raise my hand, touch his face, and whisper, "Make love to me. Show me how much you love me. It has been so long…" It has been weeks since we were intimate and all because of Eumenes.

Alexander nods his head once and leans in closer to whisper into my ear, "I will. I will make you mine all over again. I was such a fool to let this come between us."

My world spins and suddenly I find myself on my back, lying amidst the grass and blooming flowers. Alexander moves above me and pushes the fabric of my robes aside. I love it when he is so gentle, so considerate, and treats me like I am delicate and easily bruised instead of the warrior I am. It is during these moments that I can taste his love for me and I shake at the thought of leaving him behind. My death will devastate him and I can only hope that he will somehow find the strength to continue. "Take me, please."

Alexander nods again and then his tongue moves over my chest. It travels downward and I eagerly part my legs. It has been so long -- so damn long and I need him!

Alexander enters me abruptly and I cry out in pain. We don't have any oil handy and being taken in such a way feels feral – but it also makes me *feel* – makes me feel *all* of him. I wrap my arms and legs around him and hold on for dear life as he makes love to me. He moves gently as to not cause any additional discomfort and his touch is caring. I stare into his eyes and see the love there. The love he bears for me. "Don't ever leave me again, Alexander. I will die without you."

Alexander is still moving inside me, minutely and slowly, and the rapture that shines in his eyes illuminates the soul caught behind it. "You are my other half, Alexander."

"And you are mine." Alexander is close to release and his thrusts grow faster, deeper. I move along with him and climax just a moment before he does. Locked together in bliss, I hold onto him and he holds onto me. "I love you so much. I will wait for you in the House of Death, Alexander. I don't know how long it will take, but I will wait for you. I won't forget you… I will wait for you. My soul will recognize yours."

"Why are you speaking of death, Hephaestion, when we are making love? We are still young and invincible. I will deal with Eumenes and I will make amends for wronging you."

Alexander collapses atop of me and shivers violently. I wrap my arms around him and rock him. "I don't ever want to argue with you again, Alexander. Promise me that we will never fight again. I was so afraid that I had lost you!"

"Oh, my beloved Hephaestion! You should know my temper by now! But I am sorry that I hurt you. So sorry… so terribly sorry. I will never hurt you again. I promise." 

Alexander rests his head against my shoulder and I tuck his head beneath my chin. I wonder how many times we will be able to make love before my time comes. Oh, I will miss this so much! I will miss Alexander – miss feeling him inside of me! Oh, Zeus, give me the strength to be strong – for Alexander's sake.#

Hephaestion finally stopped typing. Tears had gathered in his eyes and he couldn't stop trembling. He had forgotten about Eumenes, about the pain the man had caused him. /I repressed those memories… I must have!/ 

Eumenes had touched him intimately, had fondled his genitals and had talked to him in a way no adult should talk to a child. He had been alone and frightened and had been afraid to tell anyone about the things Eumenes did and said. That was, until his father unexpectedly returned from one of his journeys and caught Eumenes with his hand between his son's legs. 

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath in the hope that it would steady him. Was this the reason he had known how to reach Bagoas? How to help him heal? Because he had experienced something similar in his past? Although, what had happened to him didn't compare to the abuse Bagoas had gone through. 

He stared at the writing and wondered what to do. Should he delete it? Keep it around? He had intended to write what these ladies called 'smut' but instead he had uncovered the deep recesses of a child's mind. He had opened old wounds. He saved the text for now, sat back, and sipped the remnants of his wine.

He missed Alexander and Bagoas and felt terribly lonely. He needed to be with them – but foremost, he needed to hear Alexander tell him that he still loved him.

~~~

That night, Hephaestion dragged himself into bed. But sleep didn't come easy to him. He was no longer interested in getting any feedback on Alexander's snippet. Neither did he intend to write any 'smut' for the time being. All that mattered right now was finding a way to be with Alexander and Bagoas.

In the middle of the night, he left his bed, turned on his laptop, and changed his reservations. Instead of flying in four days, he got himself tickets for tomorrow evening. If everything went according to plan he would spend tomorrow night in the arms of his lovers.

But then fear snuck up on him and he wondered if he had made the right decision. Would Alexander and Bagoas know something was wrong? Would they sense that he was upset? Was he doing the right thing by running to them?

What other choice did he have?

His fears and doubts kept him awake for the rest of the night, but he didn't rise again until it was morning. All night long, he thought about the things he had written down. Did people know that Alexander and he'd had a falling out over Eumenes? Did the scholars know what role Eumenes had played in his youth? Did he want them to know?

In the morning, Hephaestion made himself some strong coffee, opened his laptop, and reread the snippet. Drawing in a deep breath, he accessed the LJ he had posted Alexander's snippet in and briefly scanned the feedback the readers had left. They seemed fascinated and demanded more. 

But Hephaestion wasn't in the mood to reply to their comments, no matter how flattering and encouraging they were. Composing a new entry, he added the snippet he had written the other night and then hit send, posting the terrible memory. 

Entranced, he stared at the post, which was now accessible to all members. By the Gods, what had he done? And even more importantly, why had he done it?

~~~

"Hephaestion called!" Alexander gestured for Bagoas to approach. They were roaming the museum and, when his cell phone had gone off, Alexander had weathered all the angry looks the other visitors had shot him. But being glared at had been worth it, as he now knew to expect his other half early.

Bagoas joined Alexander and they found a secluded spot where they could talk without interrupting the viewing pleasure of the other tourists. "What did he say? Will he fly in early?" He hoped so!

"Yes, he will arrive at the airport shortly before midnight. We will pick him up." Bagoas' obvious joy made Alexander chuckle. "You can barely wait to be reunited with him, can you?" 

Bagoas nodded and smiled at him in a carefree way. Alexander wished he shared Bagoas' joy, but something plagued him. It had been Hephaestion's voice – deep and haunted. Something was wrong. *That* was the reason why Hephaestion was flying in early.

"Shouldn't we be leaving then? We will be late!" Bagoas was already heading for the exit and looked impatiently at Alexander, who was still staring at his cell phone. "Is something wrong?"

Alexander decided against burdening Bagoas with his worries. Hopefully, he was only imagining things and had no reason to feel this concerned. "No, everything is just fine."

"Come on, then! His plane will touch down within the hour! What if he is early and we are not there to pick him up? Why didn't he call us sooner?" Hephaestion was already flying in and Bagoas felt nervous and fluttery. In his mind, he pictured the scene at arrivals over and over again. He was running toward Hephaestion, got caught in his lover's strong arms, and was whirled around. He would press close to Hephaestion and hold him tight. It was amazing just how much he had missed him! "Alexander, hurry up!"

Bagoas' enthusiasm pleased Alexander. In their first life, Bagoas had hated Hephaestion with a passion and now Bagoas couldn't wait to be reunited with him! Bagoas suddenly grabbed his hand and began to drag him toward the elevators. That was another sign that things had changed between them – Bagoas taking the initiative like that. Alexander smiled and allowed Bagoas to pull him into the elevator. Bagoas' eyes glowed with passion and Alexander squeezed his younger lover's fingers. "Don't worry; we will get there in time." 

"I just don't want to be late. I miss him so much." A spark of old insecurity suddenly reappeared in his eyes. Was he overstepping boundaries? After all, Hephaestion had been Alexander's lover first. Alexander had the oldest claim when it came down to Hephaestion's love.

"Bagoas, you worry too much." Alexander had seen Bagoas' fear in the dark eyes and shook his head. "You can never love Hephaestion too much, trust me."

Bagoas quickly hugged Alexander before the doors opened and then continued to drag the older man down the hall. 

~~~

Hephaestion gave in to temptation and checked his inbox during his flight in. He felt a bit anxious now that he had posted something that intimate – not that the readers would know that. They thought he had written a fictional story. No one knew the truth behind that snippet – only he did. 

To his utter surprise he found ten messages in his inbox, waiting to be read. He read them all, and his eyes grew watery as he found that his readers sympathized with him. A few readers even suggested he should have punched Alexander harder. There was not one reader who defended Alexander – they all agreed that 'Alexander had acted like a 'bastard' to quote their words. 

Writing about the last time they had made love, and the emotional storm that had happened before that, helped Hephaestion understand why he had been able to help Bagoas heal.

Bagoas… how he missed the younger man… and how he missed Alexander! 

Hephaestion couldn't wait to wrap his arms around them and hold them close.

He needed them… He *needed* them.

TBC

Part 7

Bagoas paced the arrival's hall and continued to glance at the entrance whenever a new group of travelers appeared. Alexander had tried calming him down, but had failed. Bagoas was very eager to be reunited with Hephaestion. Alexander just hoped that his instincts were off and that he was merely imagining that something had upset Hephaestion.

Fifteen minutes later, Bagoas sprinted toward the archway, opened his arms, and literally jumped at Hephaestion. 

Hephaestion reacted quickly by catching Bagoas and hugging him tight. On the plane, he'd had time to compose himself and he felt more balanced now. "Does this mean that you missed me?" he asked cheekily. 

Bagoas pressed close to Hephaestion and planted a passionate kiss onto his older lover's lips. "I missed you so much! You have no idea just how much!" Bagoas stared into Hephaestion's eyes and drank in his lover's sight. Pointedly ignoring the looks they were attracting, he hugged Hephaestion even closer. Now that he had kissed Hephaestion, Bagoas rested his head against Hephaestion's shoulder and released a deep and contented sigh. "But you are here now – finally."

Hephaestion rested his chin atop of Bagoas' dark head and caught Alexander's gaze from a distance. His lover was already advancing on him, but it was obvious that Alexander wanted Bagoas to welcome him first – probably because Alexander hoped it would calm Bagoas down. Hephaestion rubbed soothing circles onto Bagoas' back and smiled at Alexander. 

Realizing that it was now Alexander's turn to greet Hephaestion, Bagoas reluctantly pulled away and released Hephaestion from his hold. He took a step aside so Alexander could embrace Hephaestion. His heart thundered with excitement and he couldn't stop staring at Hephaestion. 

Alexander folded an arm around Hephaestion and embraced him. The expression in Hephaestion's eyes told him that his instincts had been right – something had upset his lover and that was why Hephaestion had joined them early. "I missed you too. I am glad that you are here now, Hephaestion."

Hephaestion placed a rather chaste kiss on Alexander's lips and then smiled at him. It was impossible to keep his distress hidden from Alexander. His lover knew that something had upset him. "We will talk later, I promise," Hephaestion said as he returned the hug. "It is nothing serious."

Although Hephaestion's words did somewhat reassure him, they also proved to Alexander that something was indeed wrong. Curling his fingers around Hephaestion's hand, he guided him toward the baggage claim. "Bagoas, why don't you fetch Hephaestion's suit case?" That would give him a chance to talk in private with Hephaestion. 

Glad to be of service, Bagoas hurried to fulfill Alexander's request. 

"What is wrong?" Alexander pulled Hephaestion against him and studied the large, blue eyes. 

"I remembered something… Something I repressed." Hephaestion checked Bagoas' whereabouts and found that the younger man was still trying to locate his suit case. "I remembered the last time we made love – and the fight we had before we made up."

Tremors erupted all over Alexander's body – he remembered their fight only too well. "I am still so very sorry that I took Eumenes' side in our argument. I should never have done that." Hephaestion had lowered his eyes and Alexander took that as a sign that his lover didn't want to be stared at, so he shifted his gaze from Hephaestion to Bagoas. His eyes suddenly widened. "Is that it? Is that the reason why you knew how to help Bagoas that well?" Like Hephaestion he had tried his best to forget that dreadful fight. It worried him that he had never noticed that Hephaestion had been abused in the past. But then again, Hephaestion had repressed those memories, so how had he been supposed to know?

Bagoas had collected Hephaestion's suit case and joined his lovers once more. His smile was brilliant and his gaze remained locked on Hephaestion. He was so happy to see Hephaestion that he didn't notice the distressed expression on the older man's face. "Are you ready? I want to show you the hotel!"

Hephaestion smiled at Bagoas. He sensed the younger man's excitement and he also noticed the changes which had taken place in Bagoas during these last few days. Bagoas was more confident and no longer afraid to take the lead. "I am ready. Lead on, Bagoas." 

Alexander kept a hand at the small of Hephaestion's back. Not just to show that they belonged together, but also in an effort to comfort Hephaestion. By the gods, why did Hephaestion have to remember their fight? The only fight they had ever had? /And it was *my* fault that we had that fight in the first place. How could I desert Hephaestion?/ He would never forgive himself for hurting Hephaestion and damaging the trust his lover had had in him.

~~~

Hephaestion checked into the hotel and talked to the receptionist for a few minutes. Both Alexander and Bagoas wondered just what they were discussing and Alexander distinctly noticed the conspiring expression in Hephaestion's eyes. 

"What was that all about?" Alexander asked as they finally made their way to the room they shared. They would probably not use Hephaestion's room, as Hephaestion would sleep in their room, but the hotel would object to the three of them staying in a double room. 

"I told them that we will be leaving the day after tomorrow." Hephaestion gave Alexander a smirk and followed Bagoas into the room the two men shared. He sat down on the bed, feeling rather tired after his journey. 

"We are leaving? Why?" Bagoas sat down next to Hephaestion and gathered the older man's hand in his.

"Alexander challenged me to find an even better hotel and I did." 

Alexander rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Hephaestion, this hotel is just fine!"

"No, I want us to see the coast as well. I found a lovely resort, still close to Athens, but also located at the coast line. I am certain we will like it there." Hephaestion checked the time. It was almost two AM. "We should try to get some sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow." Hephaestion rose from the bed and started to undress. 

"We do?" Bagoas arched an eyebrow and followed Hephaestion's example. He couldn't wait to be skin on skin with Hephaestion. 

"Yes, we need to visit the bank, and then we will do some shopping." Hephaestion's eyes sought out Alexander's. He doubted Alexander had already had time to buy some birthday gifts for Bagoas.

"Why are we going to a bank?" Bagoas was naked now and turned down the covers of the bed. Lying down, he watched Alexander begin to take off his clothes. 

"You will find out tomorrow…" Hephaestion let his voice trail off, knowing it would pique Bagoas' curiosity. He came to a standstill next to the bed, bowed down to Bagoas, and whispered into his ear, "Why don't you show me your passport? You seemed very proud to finally have your papers back."

Bagoas jumped out of the bed and started searching Alexander's backpack. 

Alexander, in the meantime, used the time to stretch out on the mattress and he pulled Hephaestion down with him. Hephaestion lay down in front of him, facing away from him. Alexander embraced him tightly, letting him know in that way that he was there to support Hephaestion if he needed it. 

Bagoas returned to the bed and stretched out in front of Hephaestion. He proudly presented his passport to Hephaestion and gave him a hopeful smile. "I am a free man now. I don't have to be afraid any more."

Hephaestion made a big show out of admiring the document and then handed it back to Bagoas. Now that Bagoas had his passport again, they could go to the bank and open an account. "Come here, Bagoas." Hephaestion opened his arms and Bagoas snuggled up to him. Although he felt tired, he knew he couldn't sleep just yet. The memories were still haunting him. "I hope that you aren't disappointed that I won't take you tonight, my love. I just don't feel up to it." 

Bagoas' eyes burned with love now that Hephaestion was bringing up this subject. "Don't worry about that. We will know when the time is right to take that step." Bagoas caught Alexander's knowing gaze and smiled tenderly at his blond lover. "Do you understand why I want you to take me first, Hephaestion? Alexander says he does."

"I do!" Alexander stated firmly.

Bagoas grinned at Alexander. "Yes, you do."

Hephaestion carefully phrased his reply. "Why don't you tell me, Bagoas?" He thought he understood, but he didn't want to 'assume' anything. He needed to know for certain.

"You guided me, Hephaestion, and you guided me well. You helped me take all these little steps and I know you will also guide me well in this matter. You will be gentle when you take me." Bagoas raised a hand and caressed Hephaestion's face. "You were the first to gain my trust, Hephaestion, that's why."

Hephaestion tilted his head to lean into the caress Bagoas was bestowing onto his face. "I will be gentle, Bagoas. I promise."

The three of them snuggled up to each other, exchanged kisses, and then settled down for the night. There would be nights filled with passion, but this wasn't one of them. For now, they just needed to feel each other close.

~~~

Athens First Bank and Trust was already crowded during the morning and Bagoas realized they would be waiting in line for quite some time. Hephaestion still hadn't told him what they were doing there. His older lover was acting mysteriously about their visit. And where had Alexander disappeared to? Alexander had excused himself, telling them that he had no desire to spend his morning at the bank and had taken a cab downtown. Bagoas had felt flabbergasted at Alexander's unexpected departure. 

Hephaestion, however, knew why Alexander had disappeared on them. He had made some suggestions for Bagoas' birthday gifts during breakfast, when Bagoas had left to fill his plate at the buffet and Alexander was currently off shopping. 

"This will take hours!" Bagoas sighed and gave Hephaestion a pleading look. "Maybe we should do this another time?"

But Hephaestion shook his head and searched for the bank manager whom he had an appointment with. The manager noticed him and advanced on them. 

"Mister Hephaestion?" If the manager found the name odd, he didn't let it show. He shook Hephaestion's hand first and then welcomed Bagoas as well. "Please follow me. We will have some privacy in my office." 

Bagoas gave Hephaestion a puzzled look. "What's happening?" he whispered into Hephaestion's ear. 

"Just wait and see." Hephaestion enjoyed keeping Bagoas in suspense.

The manager closed the door to his office behind them and invited them to sit down. "We are much honored that you chose our bank to do business with, sir. How can we be of service?" 

"I want to open a new bank account for my friend here. I will also make a deposit on his account." Hephaestion handed the manager Bagoas' passport. "I am confident that you can make all necessary arrangements – quickly. I also want my friend to have a credit card."

"That will only take a few minutes." The manager picked up the phone and made some calls. A moment later, his secretary entered and handed him the papers he needed. "You mentioned wanting to make a deposit. How much money would you like us to transfer to this new account?" He was eager to assist Hephaestion, as Hephaestion's father was a very rich and well-liked client. "Would you please sign here, mister Bardia?"

Bagoas blinked. He hadn't been called by that name in ages. It took him a moment to realize that the manager was actually addressing him. Unused to wielding a pen, he placed his signature on the paper and then on the card.

Hephaestion considered the question carefully and then made up his mind. "Let's start with fifteen thousand Pounds Sterling." 

Bagoas' eyes widened dramatically and fastened on Hephaestion with a shock. He didn’t know exactly how much money they were talking about, but it sounded like a lot! "I don't need all that money!"

"I want you to have it. You might not need it now, but you might need it in the future." Hephaestion signed the papers to validate the money transfer. Addressing the manager once more, he added, "I also want you to arrange for a monthly deposit of five hundred Pounds Sterling onto this bank account." That way, Bagoas would be financially independent. 

"Hephaestion, really, you don’t have to…" But Bagoas failed to finish his sentence now that Hephaestion was giving him a determined look. 

Hephaestion pointedly ignored Bagoas' protest and focused on the manager instead. "When will my friend be able to use his credit card?"

"From this moment on. We already took care of everything." The manager handed Bagoas his credit card, along with his passport. This young man was lucky to have such a rich friend!

"All right, then it is time to do some shopping!" Hephaestion rose from his chair, shook the manager's hand, and gestured for Bagoas to follow him. 

"Why did you do that?" Bagoas felt puzzled. "I don't need the money as I will be living with you!"

Hephaestion felt it was time to play his trump. "I thought you would like to get Alexander a little present – just to show him how much you love him."

Bagoas blinked; that *was* an excellent idea. Until now, he hadn't had the money to buy gifts, and now, he could also get Hephaestion something. His credit card might come in handy after all.

~~~

"I still think you gave me too much money!" Bagoas felt a bit nervous now that they were about to go separate ways for some hours. Hephaestion had suggested doing their shopping separately. That way, any gifts they got each other would remain surprises. Bagoas wasn't pleased with that plan as he still felt reluctant to venture into shopping malls without Hephaestion or Alexander at his side. The criminals who had forced him into prostitution might be locked behind bars, but he still didn't feel safe.

"Hey, I am over here!" Alexander had sighted them and waved enthusiastically. He had done his shopping and gotten the items Hephaestion had suggested, but he had done more. He had also bought something for Hephaestion, something special, something personal. 

"Alexander! You can come with me!" Bagoas grabbed hold of Alexander the moment the blond man was within range.

Hephaestion chuckled and nodded his head. Maybe Bagoas would do better spending his money with Alexander encouraging him. "Go ahead, Alexander, go with Bagoas."

"And what about you?" Alexander had hoped to spend some time with Hephaestion. They needed to talk and he needed to reassure Hephaestion that he loved him – that he had made mistakes in the past. Yes, Hephaestion knew all that, but Alexander had learned a valuable lesson – he *knew* that Hephaestion needed to hear him say that from time to time. 

Bagoas noticed for the first time that something bothered Alexander. In the past, he would have felt the need to cling to either Hephaestion or Alexander, but he was growing more confident – just not confident enough to shop alone. /But I will give them some privacy this evening./ He would find a reason to retreat and give them an opportunity to talk.

~~~

Bagoas felt pleased with his 'bounty'. Spending money had been a new experience for him. Alexander had encouraged him to spend money on himself as well as getting a present for Hephaestion. Deciding on a gift for Hephaestion had been hard, but in the end, a pendant had caught his attention. It possessed the form of a lion's head, jaws wide apart in order to roar. He had been worried that it might be an unsuitable gift for Hephaestion and had asked for Alexander's advice. Could he give Hephaestion jewelry? Would that do?

 

Alexander had quickly reassured him that this pendant was an excellent choice, especially as Bagoas regarded Hephaestion as 'his lion'. Bagoas had also selected a necklace to go with the pendant and he paled considerably when he found out just how much it would cost him. But Alexander had assured him that Hephaestion wanted him to spend the money and, in the end, Bagoas had bought the jewelry. Now he stood shuffling his feet, waiting for Hephaestion to join them at their car so they could return to the hotel. The trunk of the car was filled with numerous shopping bags. Alexander had insisted he bought clothes, shoes, and other items Bagoas might need, and he still felt dizzy knowing just how much money he had spent. 

"Ah, there you are!" Hephaestion had long spotted them, but hadn't walked up to them just yet. He had enjoyed seeing Bagoas so nervous while clutching a little parcel. 

"I spent too much money!" Bagoas cried in a nervous voice. "Way too much! And Alexander didn't even try to stop me!"

Hephaestion placed his shopping bags on the back seat and laughed warmly at Bagoas. "That was the idea, my love. If you have the money, you should spend it!" Bagoas had no need to save his money right now.

"I will never get used to spending such amounts of money." Bagoas slipped onto the back seat, which meant that Hephaestion went in the passenger's seat, as Alexander would be driving. 

Alexander started the car and drove them back to the hotel. He wondered just how long Bagoas would wait until giving Hephaestion his present.

~~~

Bagoas had showered, dressed in his new clothes, and now announced that he was going for a walk. He would probably end up sitting in the lobby drinking tea, but he didn't mind as his absence would give Alexander and Hephaestion a chance to talk. And then, when they were getting ready to go to bed, he would present the pendant to Hephaestion. He hoped his older lover would like the gift. "I will see you when you join me for dinner." 

Alexander waited until Bagoas had closed the door to speak. "Do you think he noticed?"

"That we need to talk? Yes, I do." Hephaestion, who was sitting on the bed, gave Alexander a probing look. "You know why I came out here."

Alexander nodded his head and sat down beside Hephaestion. He gathered his lover's right hand in his and ran his thumb along the palm. "I love you, Hephaestion, and I will always feel ashamed of the way I treated you back then. I know that you need to hear me say it and I will repeat it as many times as necessary. I love you."

"You have grown so much, Alexander." Hephaestion leaned heavily against Alexander and smiled as his lover's blond hair teased against his skin. "I love the fact that you are growing it long. Makes me want to run my fingers through it even more."

"Hephaestion?" Alexander would have loved to abandon this painful topic, but knew he shouldn't. Not yet anyway. "What brought back this memory?"

"I was thinking about the last time we made love. I was already ill at the time, but as I didn't want you to know, I didn't tell you. I was so scared and I felt so lonely. I was afraid that I would spend the last months of my life alone." Hephaestion closed his eyes and focused on his sense of touch – Alexander's fingertips moving along the palm of his hand felt good. "Why *did* you chose Eumenes over me, Alexander? You never told me."

This time it was Alexander who felt choked up. "It was a number of things. I had grown arrogant, being the King of Asia and you know how easily my temper rules me. For some reason, your refusal to accept Eumenes made me angry. You were supposed to accept my friends and when you did not, I felt betrayed."

Hephaestion listened, but didn't speak yet.

"Partly, it was also Eumenes himself. Looking at it in retrospect, I know that he manipulated me. He talked to me in such a way that all blame fell onto you." Alexander swallowed hard, as he didn't want to admit this last bit. "And there was something else…"

Hephaestion raised his head to look Alexander in the eyes. "Bagoas." The fact that Bagoas had also manipulated Alexander would come as no surprise. 

Alexander nodded his head once. "Yes, and then there was Bagoas. He was subtle, you know… so subtle, so diplomatic, and yet utterly manipulative. He saw his chance to alienate me from you and he took it."

"I am not angry with Bagoas," Hephaestion replied. "You were his world and he did everything he had to do in order to keep you. He must have been so terrified of losing you. You were all he had left and I was in the way. I understand that."

"You are so forgiving! I would be mad…" Alexander stopped himself from finishing his sentence. "What am I saying? I proclaim that I have changed – that I understand Bagoas better now, that I understand *you* so much better, and then I say something like that."

"I don't want Bagoas to know what Eumenes did when I was a child." Hephaestion had thought hard and long before he had made this decision.

"Why? Don't you think it would help him if he knew you had a similar experience? That Eumenes touched you in ways that…"

"What I went through and the things Bagoas suffered don't compare, Alexander. But there is a second reason why I don't want him to know."

Alexander folded an arm around Hephaestion's waist and idly played with one of his lover's locks of hair. "What is that?"

"Bagoas is recovering. He is finally letting go of his fears, doubts, and his past. If I bring this up now, his guilt will come crashing back in on him and he will suffer a setback in his recovery. I don't want that. We should let the past rest and not drag up these painful memories. He will blame himself for manipulating you in to choosing Eumenes' side, trust me, I know he will."

"You are probably right," Alexander replied, agreeing with Hephaestion. "It is best not to tell Bagoas." He continued to hold Hephaestion, knowing what his lover needed the most was his support. "I love you, Hephaestion. Nothing – no one – will ever come between us again. I learned from my mistakes. You have my love and my trust and they are unconditional."

"Thank you for telling me. I needed to hear that." Hephaestion had closed his eyes and was slowly drifting off into a half-sleep.

Neither Hephaestion nor Alexander heard the door close a second time. They hadn't noticed that Bagoas had returned to collect his jacket and that he had overheard their conversation. They were blissfully unaware of that.

TBC

Part 8

Bagoas walked back to the lobby in a daze, stunned. He reached for the armrest and collapsed onto a chair at the back of the lobby. It hadn't been his intention to eavesdrop on them; it had just happened, and now he wasn't certain how he felt about the things he had heard. 

He remembered those weeks in which Alexander had been cross with Hephaestion. He had been delighted to see their relationship falling apart and he had given Alexander hints – subtle hints – that what Hephaestion was doing was not acceptable. In retrospect, he realized that most of Alexander's Companions had been thrilled to see Alexander and Hephaestion conflicted. A lot of the Companions had been jealous of Hephaestion for a long time and they had taken their chance to alienate Alexander further from Hephaestion – much like he had. 

Bagoas bowed his head and buried his face in his hands. What had he done? He had manipulated Alexander into drifting away from Hephaestion when Hephaestion had needed his lover so much. Hephaestion had already been suffering from typhus and Eumenes' arrival must have awoken very painful memories. /I was such a bastard! Why couldn't I be happy with what I had? Why did I have to come between them in such a way?/ 

The fact that Hephaestion had been so afraid to lose Alexander was something that had registered with him, even back then. But seeing Hephaestion so distressed had pleased Bagoas – now it only caused him to feel guilty. 

He had met Eumenes a few times and had also disliked the man, though he had been unable to explain why. Now he realized he had been dealing with a sexual predator and this man's victim had been a very young Hephaestion. /And I never noticed a thing./ Bagoas didn't know what he would have done had he known back then what he knew now. 

/But I know the truth now and I have to find a way to deal with my jealousy and manipulation. How is it possible that Hephaestion forgave me for what I did? I caused him pain!/ And yet, Hephaestion had mentioned that he didn't blame Bagoas, that he understood the eunuch's need to know that Alexander's was his. He felt incredibly guilty and his past actions made him loathe himself. He had been such a despicable creature! /And still Hephaestion forgave me…/ 

"Hey, why aren't you in the dining room yet?"

Bagoas flinched as Hephaestion's voice came from close by. Raising his head, he found the older man standing next to his chair. Alexander was nowhere in sight though. Bagoas tried to reply, but his mouth felt dry and his vocal cords refused to cooperate. 

"Is something wrong?" Growing concerned, Hephaestion pulled a chair close and sat down next to Bagoas. 

A lump of emotions settled in Bagoas' throat. Hephaestion was asking *him* if something was wrong, while it was *he* who had wronged Hephaestion so badly in the past. 

As Bagoas remained quiet, Hephaestion's worries increased. "Bagoas?" He rested a hand on top of Bagoas' and squeezed gently. "Did this all finally catch up with you? I thought you were doing well and that you had dealt with visiting the police station the other day."

Did Hephaestion really think he was acting like this about that? Bagoas drew in a deep breath and tried to shake off Hephaestion's hand, but the older man reacted by tightening his hold on his fingers. "It simply amazes me that you accepted me so easily. That you forgave me how much I envied you in the past – that I wronged you." As he was looking Hephaestion in the eye, he could tell the exact moment when the older man realized what had happened. 

"You heard me talk to Alexander." The response was stated in a flat emotionless voice and didn't reveal how Hephaestion felt about that.

Bagoas nodded his head once. "I acted like such a child back then and I am so terribly ashamed of my behavior!"

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath and squeezed Bagoas' hand a little. "Bagoas, did you also hear me say that I don't blame you?"

Bagoas nodded again. "Though it is beyond me how you can forgive me for trying to alienate Alexander from you. I had no right to do that!" He continued to study Hephaestion's expressive eyes. He wanted the floor to open up and swallow him. "I was such a coward."

"You used the right tense, Bagoas. You *were*. You aren't any longer. You have proven your worth to me. I am letting go, why can't you?" It was most unfortunate that Bagoas had overheard his conversation with Alexander – Hephaestion never wanted Bagoas to find out. 

"Hephaestion, I heard the rest as well." Bagoas bit his bottom lip. Why was he bringing this up when he *knew* that Hephaestion didn't want him to know that he had been molested as a child?

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath. Using the hold he already had on Bagoas' hand, he brought the limb close to his chest, to the area where his heart was located. "This happened a long time ago and I can deal with the memories. I have Alexander and I have you to help me deal with them – or don't I?" Hephaestion hoped that this was the right way to approach the matter. 

"I can't let go because I am the one to blame for what happened." Bagoas wasn't going to give in that easily. "I did my best to drive Alexander away from you."

"I understand why you did it, Bagoas, so let it go. I don't blame you."

"Then who *do* you blame?" Bagoas knew how the mind worked; Hephaestion had to blame someone.

"Alexander mostly. He should have known better and he knows it." Hephaestion rose from his chair and pulled Bagoas to his feet with him. "But Alexander and I talked things through. We did that in our first life and we did it just now again."

A strand of raven hair swept against Bagoas' face as he tilted his head. "I don't understand how you can love me. Or that you loved me back then. I was so awful to you."

"You might not want to hear this, but I am going to say it anyway." 

Bagoas sucked in his breath as he wondered what Hephaestion might say that he wouldn't want to hear.

"You were a child back then, Bagoas. You were taken away from your parents, who were brutally murdered, and you tried to survive the best way you could. It is in the nature of children to be clingy, possessive, and egocentric. You suffered so much and, when you finally met Alexander, he became your hero, your savior. I never tried taking him away from you *because* I understood what was going on with you. And I also understand what is going on with you *now*."

Bagoas frowned. "Do you still think of me as a child then?"

"If I did, do you think I would take you into my bed?" 

Bagoas blinked. "Hephaestion, I was far from untouched when we met the first time."

"Still, I would not have touched you if I didn't think you were mature enough." Hephaestion pulled Bagoas into his arms, but always maintained eye contact. "Don't make yourself pay for something you did over two thousand years, Bagoas. If you really want to make a change, accept it happened and then move on. I need you at my side, Bagoas, just as much as I need Alexander."

Bagoas felt amazed at seeing such genuine emotions as hope and, above all, trust in Hephaestion's alluring eyes. /Trust… He trusts me./ Ignoring any looks he might attract with his action, he moved closer and embraced Hephaestion. "*You* are my savior, Hephaestion… without you…"

"Hush now, don't say it." Hephaestion rubbed Bagoas' back and waited for the younger man to calm down. Once he was certain that Bagoas had composed himself, he began to lead his younger lover toward the balcony where Alexander was already waiting for them to join him for dinner. 

~~~

They ate dinner in a comfortable silence. They would chat occasionally, but most of the time they simply enjoyed the view and their company. 

Later, they moved on to the bar and Hephaestion ordered wine for all three of them. "Don't forget to pack tomorrow. We will be checking into our new hotel tomorrow evening."

Alexander shook his head again. "Hephaestion, this hotel is just fine. We can stay here."

"Indulge me," Hephaestion replied with a wicked grin on his face. "I love pampering the two of you."

"You never told me just how wealthy your family is," Alexander remarked, staring at Hephaestion from over the rim of his glass. He loved the way his lover's auburn hair tumbled down the shoulders. But it was the eyes that seemed to magically draw him close and, before he knew it, he was pressing a kiss onto Hephaestion's lips. 

Hephaestion grinned. "I reckon that means you missed me too." He raised his glass and toasted to his lovers' health. 

Bagoas wavered; it had been his intention to get Hephaestion alone for a few minutes so he could give him the pendant in private, but after eavesdropping on them, he felt he had lost the right to do so. In the end, he sipped his wine and wallowed in self-pity.

~~~

While Bagoas was taking a bath before going to bed, Hephaestion sat down next to Alexander. "He overheard our conversation, Alexander. He knows what Eumenes did to me and how we argued about him. He feels guilty because he manipulated you into distancing yourself from me. I told him that I don't blame him, but I don't think he believes me."

"What are your plans?" Alexander could tell that Hephaestion was up to something. 

"I will have to spend some time alone with Bagoas. It would be best if I did that once we arrive at our new resort. Don't worry though, I won't forget about you."

"Hephaestion, I… I… want to give you something. I got it the other day and I want you to have it." Alexander's hands trembled as he handed Hephaestion the small jewelry box. "I hope you will like it."

Hephaestion blinked. He hadn't expected such a romantic gesture from his Alexander. It showed just how much his lover had emotionally grown. "You got me a gift?"

"I so hope you will like it." Alexander still felt rather insecure when it came down to doing things like these. He was still learning how to express himself in this way. "It made me think of you. You will hopefully understand why when you open the box."

Hephaestion raised the lid and his breath caught. "You didn't have to do that." Inside the jewelry box, resting on a bed of black velvet, sat a silver ring with a blue stone.

"The stone is called Iolite and the color changes from violet to blue and back again, depending on the way you look at it. Your eyes do that sometimes as well. They take on the most amazing colors." Alexander laughed nervously. "I hope I got the size right. May I?" He lifted the ring from the box and looked hopefully at Hephaestion. He wanted to slip it onto Hephaestion's finger. 

Hephaestion nodded once, but couldn't help but asking, "What brought this about?" Feeling Alexander slide it down his finger caused a strange sensation in his chest. His heart was pounding and he felt light-headed now that the ring sat snugly around his finger. 

"It was the film, to be honest: the ring-giving scene to be precise." Alexander gave Hephaestion an extremely shy look. "You know that I am not good at expressing myself in this way…"

"You have gotten better at it, my Alexander." 

When Hephaestion smiled so tenderly at him, Alexander's heart filled with love and for one moment he felt like he had the first time he had kissed Hephaestion – the first time they had said, "I love you," in whispered voices. "So, you like it?"

"I will always wear it," Hephaestion promised and delivered a surprisingly chaste kiss to Alexander's lips. Their relationship, their love, was still deepening and gaining a more spiritual nature. 

He actually felt connected with Hephaestion in a way he had never experienced before. "I love you." How many times had he said those words? And yet, they had never come more from the heart than they did right now. "You *are" the other half of my soul."

Hephaestion looked at Alexander for a long time and, not only did he feel the weight of the ring on his finger, but also the love Alexander bore him.

~~~

Bagoas still felt uncomfortable when he left the bathroom. He had used the time sitting in the bath tub to reflect on his past, present and future. Hephaestion was right: he had to let go of his past. Yes, he had made mistakes in his past, but so had Alexander. He had to live in the present and for the future and that meant making the best of his situation. 

The first thing he noticed upon entering the bedroom was the ring on Hephaestion's finger. It had to be Alexander's; Hephaestion wouldn't buy anything like that for himself. Seeing that ring reminded him of the fact that he still had a present to give to Hephaestion as well, but he couldn't do that now – not now that Hephaestion was so thrilled about that ring. Hephaestion's eyes sparkled with love – love for Alexander.

"Bagoas!" Seeing the lost look in Bagoas' eyes, Hephaestion raised his hand and gestured for the younger man to approach. Bagoas had wrapped a towel around his wet hair and had slipped into a morning robe. He looked innocent all in white and the expression in those brown eyes made him look even younger. Hephaestion was once more painfully reminded of the fact of just how young Bagoas was – still a teenager. /And yet an old soul inhabits this young body./

Bagoas allowed Hephaestion to pull him onto the bed. Feeling insecure, he lowered his eyes and thus missed the look Hephaestion and Alexander exchanged.

Alexander nodded, understanding without words what Hephaestion was asking. He pressed a kiss onto Hephaestion's brow and then left the bed. "It is my turn to take a long soak in the bath tub." 

Alexander's sudden departure surprised Bagoas, who had wanted to assure Alexander that he didn't have to leave because of him, but Hephaestion stopped him from doing so by resting a finger against his lips. 

"Let him." Hephaestion unwrapped the towel from Bagoas' head and deposited it on the floor. Running his fingers through the raven hair, he little by little untangled the strands. "Bagoas?"

Bagoas grew nervous now that he saw a look in Hephaestion's eyes which he had only seen directed at Alexander before. "What?" 

"Do you trust me?" Hephaestion's hands descended and pushed the morning robe from Bagoas' shoulders, revealing smooth skin. Leaning in closer, he kissed Bagoas and slid his arms behind Bagoas' back. 

"I do," Bagoas whispered as he suddenly realized what was going to happen next, causing excitement to flutter in his insides. "Now?"

"Now." Hephaestion had noticed the effect seeing Alexander's ring on his finger had had on Bagoas and he knew he needed to reassure Bagoas of his love. "That is if you still want me to take you." 

"I do," Bagoas whispered, allowing Hephaestion to lay him down on his back. Hephaestion's fingers undid his belt and then his older lover pushed the fabric apart. Seeing Hephaestion move above him should have frightened him, should have reminded him of other moments when men had been preparing to take him, but this was different. 

"Why don't you help me undress?" Hephaestion refused to be the only active one in their love play.

Bagoas' fingers trembled as they undid the buttons to Hephaestion's shirt. Like his lover had done to him a moment ago, he now slid the fabric of the shirt down the impressive torso until Hephaestion's upper body was naked. 

"You are so delicate, Bagoas… Like a rose…" Hephaestion licked the areas he had found Bagoas responded the most to. He licked beneath the earlobe, let his tongue trial down, and suckled the sensitive skin of Bagoas' throat. Hephaestion was careful not to put any weight on Bagoas and supported himself by resting on an elbow. That way he was still propped up and could he study Bagoas' eyes. 

Bagoas' nervousness increased when he reached for the zipper of Hephaestion's jeans. He undid the zipper and pushed the jeans and underwear down, revealing all of Hephaestion. "I am nervous," he admitted. "The times that I have done this I was in pain."

"I promise you that there won't be any pain, only pleasure." Hephaestion had caught sight of the lubricant on the nightstand and smiled as he made his way down Bagoas' body. He knew how to relax his lover and put his tongue and lips to good use. He took in Bagoas' length and stroked the velvet-like scrotum.

Bagoas never expected that move and closed his eyes in bliss. His fingernails dug into the mattress and he threw back his head.

Now that Bagoas was beginning to relax, Hephaestion took the next step. He bestowed a last lick onto Bagoas' member and then let his tongue dance downward until he encountered the opening to his lover's body. 

That odd, new sensation took Bagoas by surprise and he opened his eyes at feeling Hephaestion's tongue press against the guardian ring. He drew in a deep breath, told himself to trust Hephaestion, and parted his legs further. Lifting his hips, he waited for Hephaestion's next move. He didn’t have to wait long, for that wet tongue then pushed inside and massaged his channel in a way he had never known before. "That feels good."

Hephaestion grinned, but didn't stop to reply. Instead, he reached for the lubricant and squeezed a royal amount onto a fingertip. "Are you ready, Bagoas?"

Bagoas raised his head and gave Hephaestion a long look. "I want this."

Hephaestion nodded once and then placed one finger at the entrance to Bagoas' body. He massaged the guardian ring for a while and then slid his fingertip inside. "How does that feel, my love?" Leaning in closer, he nuzzled the soft balls. 

"It feels good… There is no pain…" Bagoas wondered about this. Yes, he had seen Alexander and Hephaestion make love and neither one of them had been in pain when they had made love, but he was used to the presence of pain during the act. Yes, the eunuch knew of ways to dull the pain, but this reborn Bagoas mostly remembered pain. 

"I am inside of you." Hephaestion placed butterfly kisses onto Bagoas' stomach and his finger penetrated deeper in search of his lover's prostate. "We can stop anytime you want to. I will not pressure you in any way."

"I am fine," Bagoas murmured. He was quickly letting go of his fears now that Hephaestion was so tender and understanding. "Try two."

Hephaestion added more of the lubricant before inserting two digits into his lover's channel. "You are so beautiful in your surrender. You take my breath away." Focusing on Bagoas' needs, Hephaestion moved his fingers until they were brushing the younger man's prostate. At the same time, his lips sought out their counterparts and they locked in a kiss. 

Bagoas felt helpless. Until now, he hadn't realized just how much he wanted this. "Take me, Hephaestion." He thrust down onto Hephaestion's fingers in an attempt to show his eagerness.

"Slowly," Hephaestion replied, cautioning his lover. He always kept in mind how traumatic Bagoas' past had been. "Why don't you rub it on?" He had withdrawn his fingers from Bagoas' body and now handed the younger man the tube with lubricant. 

Bagoas coated Hephaestion's erection with the slippery substance and then began to turn around. 

"What are you doing?" Hephaestion frowned; Bagoas had displayed this behavior before.

"Don't you want to take me?" His customers had preferred seeing him on his hands and knees and he expected Hephaestion to prefer that position as well.

Hephaestion resolutely rolled Bagoas onto his back again. "Have you forgotten what I told you? I will never take you in that way."

Bagoas remembered – he just thought that Hephaestion had changed his mind. 

"Trust me…" Hephaestion whispered as he pressed kisses onto Bagoas' throat. He pushed his arms beneath Bagoas' back and cradled him. The tip of his member pressed against the opening to Bagoas' body, but he made no attempt to enter him yet. 

Bagoas felt lost, staring into those heaven-blue eyes, and suddenly, Hephaestion was moving him. In one fluid movement, his lover slowly entered him, pulled him upright, and changed their position. Bagoas blinked, not quite understanding how Hephaestion had accomplished this, but the fact was that Hephaestion was on his back, and he was straddling his lover. He had expected to feel pain, but Hephaestion was buried inside him to the hilt – but there hadn't been any pain! No pain at all! "I don't understand."

Hephaestion smiled. He had placed his large hands on Bagoas' hips and now rubbed the skin there. Moving Bagoas into this position had been his way to distract his younger lover. Bagoas had expected to feel pain, but the movement had caught him off guard and Hephaestion had been inside the well-lubricated passage before Bagoas knew it. "I wouldn't mind if you began to move, Bagoas."

Bagoas blinked. Hephaestion's eyes shone with love – and this time that love was for him – just for him. He was about to raise himself so he could impale himself on Hephaestion's cock when the other man stopped him. 

"No, not like that. I don’t want you to be in any discomfort. Just circle your hips. Trust me; that will do the trick nicely." Hephaestion loved seeing the surprise in Bagoas' eyes when his lover did just that.

Bagoas released a moan, coming from deep within his throat. "You are right." Hephaestion's cock rubbed against his prostate and caused the most wonderful sensations in his lower body. The sad truth was that this was the first time in this life time that he was experiencing this bliss. None of his clients had bothered to make him feel good – they had only been interested in their own pleasure. 

Hephaestion moved one hand until it rested at the nape of Bagoas neck and then pulled his lover close enough to kiss him. He wrapped the fingers of his other hand around Bagoas' hard flesh and stroked in a teasingly slow manner – he wanted to make this good for Bagoas and he wanted to make it last.

Unfortunately, Bagoas quickly succumbed to the tiny explosions happening in his groin. He deepened their kiss at the moment of his climax and pushed his arms around Hephaestion's shoulders so he could hold him tight. 

Hephaestion had been holding himself back, not wanting to reach orgasm before Bagoas did, but now that the contractions started around his cock, he let go. 

Bagoas groaned and collapsed onto Hephaestion's strong body. The fluid warmth that now filled him felt different from all the other times that his customers had come inside him. He had never climaxed at the same time and, for one moment, he felt like he had melted together with Hephaestion. "This is intense…" It was way more intense than he had thought possible.

Hephaestion placed his hands on either side of Bagoas' head and captured his gaze. "This is what making love is supposed to feel like, my love." 

"Thank you for showing me." Bagoas smiled at Hephaestion. The fact that Hephaestion now wore Alexander's ring no longer bothered him, for he had just experienced Hephaestion's love. 

TBC

Part 9 

"You must be joking." Alexander gave Hephaestion a look filled with disbelief. "You booked this?" 

Hephaestion merely nodded his head and drove the car toward the entrance of the hotel.

Bagoas, in the meantime, was unfolding the informative brochure the guard at the main gate had handed him. "Listen to this! The Nafsika Astir Palace wields the scepter of utmost beauty, in the heart of the Saronic Gulf. Looking at the Vouliagmeni bay, Nafsika seems to be the natural continuation of outstanding bloomy scenery, releasing a combination of sea breeze and pine odor. The “princess” of the complex unfolds in front of our eyes, younger than ever, following contemporary decorative lines." Bagoas blinked now that the real thing was coming into view. It wasn't so much the hotel itself that took his breath away – it was the view of the sea. "Oh, that is…"

"Stunning," Alexander said, finishing for Bagoas. He tilted his head and gave Hephaestion a wondering look. "And your father has no problems paying for this?"

Hephaestion laughed. "Who says my father is paying for any of this? I have some money of my own, you know." Hephaestion stopped the car and the valet approached, already offering to park it for them. Hephaestion handed the valet the car key and waited for his lovers to join him at the entrance. 

"What about our luggage?" Bagoas asked.

"They will take care of it, don't worry." Hephaestion entered the main building first and was closely followed by Alexander and Bagoas. 

Alexander and Bagoas had thought that their first hotel had been impressive, but this was an even more remarkable resort. Hephaestion handled the formalities and then gestured for them to follow the porter. They were escorted to their rooms – three singles this time, as that was all the hotel had still had available on such short notice – but they didn't mind that much, realizing each room housed a massive king size bed. They would be able to snuggle up together at night and, at the same time, they could also get their privacy if they desired so. 

Hephaestion tipped the porter and turned around to see the looks on the faces of his lovers as he opened the curtains and revealed the view to them. "So what do you think?"

"This is paradise," Bagoas murmured, already studying the large swimming pool area.

Hephaestion had followed the direction of Bagoas' look and said, "You can also swim in the sea, Bagoas. You aren't limited to the pool."

"So that is why you told us to buy trunks before leaving Athens." Alexander had wondered about Hephaestion's insistence that they bought swimming attire. 

"We will stay here for a few days, relax, and then we will fly back home. I am beginning to miss our little cottage." Hephaestion sat down on the bed, lifted his legs, and crossed his ankles. He uncovered his laptop and switched it on. 

"You brought that with you?" Bagoas wondered just how much mail had gathered in his inbox during these last few days. 

"That reminds me…" Hephaestion opened his suitcase and removed another laptop from it, which he pushed into Bagoas' hands. "That way you'll have a bit more privacy." He couldn't help himself and added, "I found a message with slash in the subject line in my inbox the other day. I got curious and read its content. Bagoas, I had no idea…" He let his voice drift off and chuckled at seeing Bagoas' flustered state. "I took the liberty of adding some bookmarks to that laptop of yours, Bagoas. There is a slash story called 'A Taste of Morocco' which I am sure you would like to read."

"You read that?" Bagoas almost dropped his laptop in surprise, but steadied himself at the last moment. He knew that story and also recalled that it was labeled NC-17. "You actually read that?"

"Yes, and it gave me some ideas that we might try out in bed." Hephaestion wiggled an eyebrow suggestively.

Alexander had been quiet up to this moment, but now decided to get involved. He sat down next to Hephaestion and asked, "Where is that story? I want to read it too. Does it have sex?"

Hephaestion's chuckling grew louder and he accessed the story for Alexander. "I am certain you will enjoy reading it as well." He handed Bagoas one room key and placed the other next to Alexander. "You might actually enjoy having your own room this time around, Bagoas!"

Getting the hint, Bagoas' flush deepened. He cradled the laptop against his chest and was ready to flee to his room. He couldn't believe Hephaestion had read a slash story about Jared and Colin! He should have covered his tracks a lot better! 

"I want to go swimming," Hephaestion announced. "Shall we meet at the pool in thirty minutes?" Bagoas had already collected his duffel bag and his new suit case and was heading toward the door. 

"I will be there," Bagoas replied as he opened the door. Looking at Alexander, he cringed, seeing the big, fat grin plastered on the blond's man face. 

"And you really like to read stuff like this?" Alexander looked up from the screen and gave Bagoas a smirk. "This stuff reminds me of the snippets I wrote."

Bagoas quickly closed the door behind him and headed for his room, which was only two doors away from Hephaestion's. Why had he been so sloppy? 

"Did you have to tease him that badly?" Alexander asked once Bagoas had closed the door.

"Tease him? I thought I took things easy on him." Hephaestion snuggled up to Alexander and read a few lines. "What do you think?"

"I like it… Makes me think back to the time when we used honey as a lubricant. That was no success."

"We got stuck!" Hephaestion laughed warmly and brushed blond strands away from Alexander's face. "I would like to stay here for three or four days and then we will take the plane home. What do you think?"

"Sounds good." Alexander didn't bother to look up this time as he was drawn in by the story.

~~~

Bagoas was already in the pool by the time Hephaestion and Alexander appeared. Hephaestion dove right in, while Alexander tested the water temperature first. Finding it acceptable, Alexander waded inside and watched Bagoas swim lap after lap. 

Hephaestion felt wicked and swam toward Bagoas under the water. Reaching for the lithe form in the water, he teasingly pulled Bagoas under.

Bagoas had expected for something like that to happen, but had thought it would be Alexander to pull him under and not the normally so well-behaved Hephaestion. 

Alexander joined in the fun and soon they were frolicking about in the water. In the end, they swam toward the edge of the pool, rested their arms on the rim, and looked at the azure-blue water of the Gulf. Alexander rested his chin on his forearms and smiled. "Hephaestion, this hotel *is* better than our first one." 

Bagoas had leafed through the information he had found in his room and said, "There is a lot more to do. There are also two fitness centers. So, if you want to work out…" 

Alexander smiled secretly. He understood why Bagoas was feeding him this suggestion. The younger man was probably waiting for the right opportunity to give Hephaestion his pendant.

"Do you guys want to swim in the sea instead?" Hephaestion was already pulling himself out of the water. His arms were rippling muscle and he saw Alexander drool as his lover peeked at his backside. 

Alexander and Bagoas joined him and walked onto the beach. A waiter approached and asked if they would like something to drink and they ordered some lemonade, not wanting to drink anything with alcohol yet. It was still too early for that. 

The waves welcomed them and crashed against their bodies. While Alexander and Bagoas settled for splashing each other, Hephaestion used the chance to swim. 

Almost half an hour later, they made their way back onto the beach and settled down on the comfortable chairs. The waiter served them their drinks and reminded them that lunch would be served shortly. 

Alexander's eyes narrowed at seeing the tender looks Bagoas was giving Hephaestion. Maybe it was time to hit the gym after all.

~~~

"Bagoas?" Hephaestion knocked on the door to Bagoas' room. Alexander had insisted that he visited with Bagoas before dinner and, instead of going to the gym, Alexander had opted for reading a bit more slash. The rate with which Alexander was devouring the stories, especially the NC-17 ones, alarmed Hephaestion and he reckoned it wouldn't be long before Alexander tried writing more of his snippets.

"Hephaestion?" Bagoas blinked as he hadn't expected Hephaestion to drop by. He was already dressed for dinner and had chosen to wear black slacks and a white shirt, which he had buttoned down somewhat. These were clothes he had bought himself and they fit him perfectly. He walked toward the door and opened it. He gasped, finding Hephaestion wearing a stunning blue shirt, which brought out his expressive eyes even more. 

"Can I come inside?" Hephaestion gave Bagoas a wink. 

"That color really matches your eyes," Bagoas replied, unable to stay quiet about the effect the other man was having on him. 

Hephaestion entered and headed for the window. Bagoas closed the door behind him and joined Hephaestion in admiring the view. Hephaestion hoped he was still handling this relationship well. He was doing his best to divide his time between his lovers, but at times, he felt like he was failing them. 

"Hephaestion?" Bagoas' mouth went dry as he realized this was the perfect moment to give Hephaestion the pendant. 

"Yes, my love?" Hephaestion cocked his head and smiled at Bagoas. He lifted his hand and caressed the delicate face. His ring glittered in the light of the sun, which was beginning to set.

"I…" Bagoas' throat contracted and he felt all choked up. He quickly stepped away from Hephaestion to collect the jewelry box and then returned to the older man's side. "It doesn't compare to the ring Alexander gave you, but I hope you will still like it. I didn't know Alexander had bought you that ring when I got you this." He lowered his eyes and grew flustered now that Hephaestion had accepted the box.

Hephaestion blinked; why were they suddenly giving him presents? "Bagoas, the fact that you took the time to get me something already makes me feel special and I will wear what is inside for the rest of my life."

Bagoas swallowed, feeling deeply touched. "Don't stay that yet. Have a look first." What if Hephaestion didn't like the pendant?

 

Hephaestion lifted the lid and stared at the pendant. "It's a lion's head."

"That's because you are my lion. I found it by accident and Alexander suggested I should give it to you."

"Alexander knew about this?" So that was why his lover had told him to visit with Bagoas. He carefully lifted the pendant and necklace from the box and admired it. It was a finely detailed head and tears began to push against his eyelids. He had closed them for a moment in an effort to compose himself. Opening them again, a single tear escaped and slid down his cheek. 

"You don't like it?" Bagoas asked, feeling apprehensive because of the tear. 

"It's perfect," Hephaestion quickly replied as he lifted the necklace from the box. His hands trembled when he offered it to Bagoas. "Put it on?" He then turned around and lifted his hair so Bagoas had easier access to his neck.

"If you like it, then why are you shedding tears?" Bagoas put the necklace around Hephaestion's neck and rested his hands on the broad shoulders. Hephaestion lowered his hair again and rested his back against Bagoas' chest.

"I am shedding them because this necklace makes me realize that you really see me as your 'lion'." He turned around and probed Bagoas' eyes. Lifting a hand, he caressed Bagoas' face. "Thank you, Bagoas."

Bagoas finally let a smile shine through and leaned in closer to kiss Hephaestion. "I love you and I am sorry for all the mistakes I made in the past. I listened when you said that I should look toward the future instead and this is my way of saying that you are a very important part of my future – like Alexander."

Hephaestion embraced Bagoas tightly and pressed a kiss onto the raven hair. "I will always be your lion, Bagoas – always."

~~~

Alexander watched Hephaestion and Bagoas holding hands during dinner and chuckled each time that Bagoas cast a look at the pendant Hephaestion was wearing. It was a good thing that he had told Hephaestion to visit with Bagoas for several reasons. Another reason was that he had managed to finish reading the Morocco – Thailand affair. He had been disappointed when he had reached the last chapter, even though that last sex scene had made him so horny that he had brought himself to orgasm while rereading it. 

"So what did you do before dinner?" Bagoas asked in an effort to make conversation. 

Alexander arched an eyebrow. "I read some slash – thanks to Hephaestion and you. I am thinking of continuing my erotic novel centered around Hephaestion. I could write about the time that we used the honey."

 

Hephaestion groaned. "Please don't."

"Honey?" Bagoas echoed the word in puzzlement.

"As a lubricant. I wouldn't recommend it."

Alexander's deadpanned tone made Bagoas burst out laughing and he had no trouble imagining that scene. 

"Just remember our deal. I get to read the story first." Hephaestion leaned back in his chair and let his gaze sweep over the Gulf. The moon was rising and cast a silver light over the sea. During his life in Great-Britain he had always felt like something was missing from his life, but he hadn't known what until his memories had returned. Alexander suddenly poked him in his side and Hephaestion's gaze traveled from the water to Alexander's brown eyes. "What is it?"

"Are you happy, Hephaestion?" Alexander was fairly certain Hephaestion was, but like his lover, he needed to hear him say it.

"I am happy, yes. Very happy.

~~~

The next day, Bagoas went swimming on his own to give Alexander and Hephaestion some quality time together. On his way over to the pool, he felt like someone was watching him, but he eventually dismissed his worries when he slid into the water. He had to grow used to doing things on his own and had to stop being so dependant on Hephaestion and Alexander.

A man dressed in a black suit complete with a name tag passed by the pool and Bagoas managed to read the tag – apparently this was the resort's manager, a certain mister Papadopoulos. The man inclined his head in greeting and then proceeded toward the bar located near the swimming pool. Bagoas' eyes narrowed; this man was the typical example of someone who would visit a brothel to seek out his services and for that reason, he disliked the manager with his gray hair and dark moustache. 

"I know you."

The deep, rumbling voice came from very close and startled Bagoas, who had been swimming toward the edge of the pool. Turning about in the water, he stared at the bald man who had managed to sneak up on him. The eyes were cold and the eyebrows drawn together in thought. "You are mistaken," he managed to say. "You are probably mistaking me for someone else."

"No, I am not. I don't remember your name, but I do remember your mouth and ass, boy. I remember the way you screamed when I tore into you." 

The words were said in a clipped, cold tone and made Bagoas flinch violently. There was no way that he could remember all of his 'customers', but it appeared this man had remembered him. 

"What are you doing here, boy? Are you now working at the resort? I am surprised they let you. It is against their policy to employ whores. I should know, I inquired about it." The man had managed to swim up even closer to him and now reached for Bagoas below the surface of the water. "Or are you selling your ass without them knowing about it? If that's the case, you had better treat me nice, or I will tell them what you are."

Bagoas' world was shattering into a million pieces. He had felt safe – so safe that he had never considered the fact that he might end up facing one of his former customers. "Let me go!" The man's hand had reached for his groin and was trying to grab hold of his genitalia. "I am warning you, let me go!"

"Or else what will you do? I only need to call the hotel manager and he will throw you out of the resort. I believe he passed us by only a moment ago. I want to feel that sweet mouth on my cock again, and after you made me come, I will drive myself into you again and you will allow it – free of charge."

Anger rose in Bagoas' stomach. It was the same anger that had made Bagoas the eunuch kill a would-be rapist in his first life. The reborn Bagoas might have considered giving in to the man's demands, but not Bagoas the eunuch. The older part of his soul insisted he taught the bastard a lesson. 

Unexpectedly, the bald man cried out in pain and anger. "You fucking whore! I will make you pay for…" He fought for breath now that Bagoas had kicked him in the groin beneath the water. 

"If you touch me ever again, I will cut off your balls!" Bagoas' eyes sparkled dangerously and he began to swim away from the bald man. 

"I will get you for this!" The man, determined to get his revenge, gathered his strength and dignity and exited the pool. 

Bagoas allowed himself a moment of rest and drew in a deep breath. He had surprised himself by defending himself. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all that the old Bagoas had become a part of him. Bagoas left the pool and now shook over his entire body, still reeling from the intense experience.

"That's him! He attacked me!"

Bagoas spun around and his eyes grew big, seeing his attacker return with the hotel manager in tow. Oh, this wasn't good! 

"He attacked me for no reason at all! I demand that you inform the police and have him arrested for assault!"

The hotel manager's gaze settled on him and Bagoas lowered his eyes. He hated the way he was still shaking. He probably looked guilty and wished Alexander and Hephaestion were here to support him. 

"Is this true, sir? Did you attack this man?" The hotel manager tried to probe Bagoas' eyes, but that was impossible as the dark eyes were trained on the tiles.

"I didn’t attack him. I defended myself." Bagoas flinched at the way he sounded: guilty. 

"That's a lie! He turned on me for no reason!" The bald man was bent on getting his revenge and stared into the manager's eyes. 

"Why did you need to defend yourself, sir?" the manager asked. He didn't know what had happened between his guests, but he was determined to find out the truth. 

"He grabbed hold of me and tried to pull me with him." Bagoas realized he was in a lot of problems. If he told the hotel manager why his former customer had grabbed him, Mister Papadopoulos would have removed him at any rate. Bagoas believed that the manager wouldn't allow him to stay once he knew that his guest had been a prostitute once.

"And why did you do that?" the hotel manager now questioned the bald man. "This man is also a guest and should feel safe here. Why did you grab him, sir?"

The bald man gritted his teeth and opted for distraction. "A guest? This boy is nothing but a whore! Surely you don't want his kind around?"

The dark eyebrows of the hotel manager inched higher and the intense gaze remained trained on the bald man. "This young man is a paying guest, much like you are. Your behavior, sir, isn't appropriate for this resort." 

"You believe him? And not me?" The bald man stared at the manager in disbelief! "I am the victim here!"

"I very much doubt that." The hotel manager picked up the morning robe Bagoas had discarded before wading into the pool and draped the fabric over Bagoas' shoulders. "This young man is shaking like a leaf, while you are raging, sir. You are making my decision much easier. I expect you to pack and to leave the resort within the next hour."

"I can't believe this! You choose to support him? He is a whore! A fucking whore!"

The hotel manager signaled for two waiters to approach. "Please escort this man to his room, see to it that he pays his bill, and then leaves the resort. If he continues to cause problems, call the police."

Bagoas couldn’t believe this was happening! The manager had taken his side in this matter and the bald man was now forcefully being escorted to his room. "I am sorry for causing problems."

Mister Papadopoulos took a step aside and offered Bagoas an apologetic look. "No, I should apologize for this guest's behavior. He was out of line and I don't tolerate such behavior at my hotel."

"He spoke the truth though." Bagoas couldn't explain what was making him say this. "I was a whore once. They forced me into prostitution. The criminals who did that are on trial right now."

The manager's look remained apologetic and vaguely sympathetic. "In that case I regret this incident even more. I do hope it won't make you depart prematurely." 

Bagoas never expected that reply. "You aren't sending me away?"

"Why should I?" 

Bagoas nodded his head once and said, "Thank you for believing me. I didn't think you would."

"Sometimes, we get customers like him. I knew something was amiss when he inquired if the hotel also offered 'certain services' in the evening hours." 

Bagoas spied Alexander's approach and realized it was time to end this conversation. "I would be grateful if this remained private."

"I will be discreet, of course," the manager assured him. "Is there anything else you need?"

"No, thank you." Bagoas watched the manager leave with relief. For a moment he had been afraid that his past had really caught up with him. 

"Bagoas? You look awfully pale. Is something wrong? Did that man give you a hard time? If he did, I will talk to him." Alexander disliked the pallor Bagoas' face had gained and naturally felt concerned.

"Nothing is wrong." Bagoas smiled brilliantly at Alexander. "Everything is right." He had surprised himself by defending himself and felt proud that he had done so. /Thank you,/ he thought, directing his gratitude at that older part of his soul. /I couldn't have done this without you./ 

/Silly child,/ came a reply from deep within his mind. /*You* did this. You are much stronger than you think!/

"Bagoas?" What was causing Bagoas to be this distant? This distracted? "It is time to get ready for dinner."

"I will join Hephaestion and you in a few minutes. I want to take a short walk along the beach first." 

"Do you want me to come with you?" 

Bagoas shook his head and gave Alexander a confident smile. "No, you should spend time with Hephaestion." Bagoas leaned in closer and kissed Alexander on the lips. "You don't have to worry about me any more."

"I don't?" Alexander looked at Bagoas in surprise, but then let the younger man go. It was obvious that something had happened to Bagoas, something that had changed him – and fortunately, it had been a change for the better.

TBC

 

Part 10

"I am nervous," Bagoas admitted as he seated himself in between Alexander and Hephaestion. It was the first time he was going to fly and Hephaestion had offered him the window seat, but Bagoas had declined, feeling safer wedged in between them. 

"All will go well." Alexander curled his fingers around Bagoas' for encouragement and opted for distraction. "What did you buy?" Bagoas had been secretive when he had voiced his request to go shopping in Athens before returning home. He had surprised Alexander and Hephaestion by insisting that he went alone. Both men wondered about the change that had come over Bagoas lately. The younger man was way more confident these days and didn't shy away from challenges. 

"That will remain a secret for now." Bagoas smiled mysteriously and his thoughts drifted back to his shopping spree. Finding the items he had wanted hadn't been easy, but in the end, he had been successful. "You will find out shortly, trust me."

Hephaestion felt proud at seeing how confident – proud even – Bagoas had grown. It was a far cry from the shy, helpless boy they had taken in some months ago.

The 'fasten your seatbelts' lights went on and the flight attendants readied themselves for take off. Hephaestion reached for the mints he had bought and handed Bagoas two. "Suck on them during take off." It would distract Bagoas and hopefully fight any panic the younger man might experience once the pressure increased.

"You can suck on something else, if you would prefer that," Alexander said with a perfectly straight face, which earned him a glare from Hephaestion. 

Bagoas put the mints into his mouth and did as Hephaestion had told him – he sucked on the pastilles and clawed with his fingers at the armrest during the moment of take off. "I am scared," he admitted and felt touched when Hephaestion took one hand in his and Alexander the other.

Once they were in the air, Bagoas calmed down a bit. It was only a half-hour flight and they thankfully encountered no turbulence, but when they were about to land, the pilot had to execute and awkward turn which made Bagoas go pale. Alexander and Hephaestion, more used to flying, did their best to comfort him. 

Bagoas was immensely relieved when they finally touched down. "I am not going to fly again any time soon," he announced, once the plane had come to a stop. 

Hephaestion smiled, but remained quiet. There was no need to share his plans to fly to the States one day with Bagoas just yet.

~~~

"We are home!" Hephaestion drew in a deep breath and greeted Peritas, who had run up to them to greet them. He rubbed behind the dog's ears and then patted his head. 

Alexander unlocked the door and stepped into the cottage. "You are right, Hephaestion. This is home. No matter where we will go to in the future, we will always come back here." 

They spent the next hour unpacking, starting the laundry, and cleaning the house a bit. Alexander then left to visit Boukephalos and Hephaestion helped Bagoas in starting up his new laptop. 

Bagoas' expression was open and inviting when he met Hephaestion's gaze. "I never thought you would enjoy reading slash."

"I am even considering writing some," Hephaestion hinted. "Like that scene in which we got stuck together." But so did Alexander!

Bagoas smiled and then changed their topic. "I am glad to be home again. Our stay in Athens was great, but I don't need all that luxury – I only need you – and Alexander."

"I have been meaning to ask you, Bagoas, what happened at the resort? You have changed."

"I stopped being a victim." Bagoas squeezed Hephaestion's hand. "I realized that I can defend myself and that I am in charge of my life. The 'old' Bagoas helped me realize that."

"You are no longer at odds with him, then?" 

"No, I am glad that he is a part of me. He gives me strength and courage. He had his mistakes, but he basically had a good heart. You were right you know, he acted a lot like a spoiled child."

Hephaestion shook his head. "Not a spoiled child, an abandoned one."

Bagoas nodded his head. "You are right. I felt lost on the inside and compensated that with acting in a certain way on the outside."

"What are your plans for now, Bagoas? Apart from reading slash," Hephaestion asked in a teasing voice.

"I want to take up dancing again. This body is still young and subtle and it shouldn't take long to get back in shape."

"What else?"

"I want to enjoy being free and being me, Hephaestion. I have no desire to travel or to study. I don't know what will happen in the future, but for now I want to be here – with the two of you." 

Hephaestion hoped that their company would be enough for Bagoas who was still so very young compared to them. 

~~~

During the next few days, they settled back into their normal routine. Alexander went horseback riding, carried out his daily exercises, and Hephaestion often joined him on his daily run. Bagoas concentrated on his dancing and Hephaestion would often settle down against a tree to watch him move. The grace was there and so was the fluency of movements. All Bagoas needed was a lot of practice.

~~~

Alexander switched on Hephaestion's laptop after making certain that none of his lovers were around. He had been thinking about their honey-sweet love making and now his fingers began to move over the keyboard. 

#The temperature rises quickly tonight and it's no wonder that Hephaestion arrives all sweaty and feeling hot. The first thing I do is order a bath for him and, once the tub has been filled, I dismiss all servants. Hephaestion has been away for months and I missed my lover terribly. Now that I have him to myself, I refuse to share him with anyone.

"You look tired, Hephaestion." His hands tremble minutely as he tries to remove his armor. I move quickly and assist him. At long last, the heavy armor falls onto the floor and his vivid eyes gratefully meet mine. I can see the blue of the Mediterranean Sea in those orbs and I feel adrift. 

"That's because I *am* tired, Alexander."

Hephaestion's shoulders are slumped and his posture tells me that he is exhausted. I had so hoped we would make love tonight, but I might have to wait until tomorrow. "Let me attend to you." 

 

"Alexander…"

I don't know why such sudden insecurity appears in his eyes. We were friends long before we became lovers, but something has changed since I became King of Macedon. When he looks at me nowadays, it is with respect and, sadly enough, distance. I am determined to bridge that distance. Resolutely I strip him of his clothes and then cradle his hand in mine. I pull him toward the tub and encourage him to sit down. Hephaestion briefly objects, but obeys when I make it an order. I pick up the sponge and start to clean him off. 

"You will get wet in turn."

"I don't care, Hephaestion." I am only wearing my loincloth and I might discard it and just join him in the tub. "You stayed away too long, Hephaestion. I need you at my side – I need you to keep my sane. My mother…"

"Is she giving you a hard time again?"

"She is stating demands…" I slide my hand down his back and tremble now that I feel him so close. The sponge continues to move over his chest and cleans away the dirt. "Promise me that you will never leave me alone for such a long time ever again."

Hephaestion gives me a saddened look. "You know that I can't make such a promise, Alexander. We don't know where our future will take us."

I pick up a cup and begin to clean his long, entangled hair. I can't wait to have him all cleaned up in my bed. There are things I want to do to him – I need to do to him! 

"Alexander, you have *that* certain look in your eyes."

"Can you blame me for wanting you? It has been month since we have been together." After picking up a comb, I straighten out his still wet hair. "Or are you too tired to make love? If you are, I will understand and not…" And then his lips press against mine in a passionate kiss, giving me his answer. 

Hephaestion breaks the kiss off after a minute and then says, "I want to be with you, Alexander, but I am tired – bone-tired."

"Then let me do the work," I offer eagerly. Hephaestion nods his head and that is his way of giving me permission to proceed. I take hold of a towel and tell him to rise from the tub. After drying off his skin, I force most of the water out of his hair and then press close against him. "I need you so much!" I can't explain what it is about Hephaestion that makes me become in touch with myself again. I only know that I lose touch with my rational side when he is not close. 

Hephaestion allows me to lead him to our bed and I lay him down. "Just let me do the work." He is spread out before me and I am going to feast on his body until the morning. Reaching out, I part his legs and then kneel between his thighs. I love his legs – those long, muscular legs which can so easily wrestle me into submission, but when they lock around me during our love making, their strength makes me feel safe. 

I make quick work of doing away with my loincloth and my erection finally bobs free. I have been hard since I started to bathe him and I can barely wait to claim my prize. Running my hands down his chest, I tweak his nipples until I hear him moan. "My Hephaestion, my sweet, willing, and oh so delicious Hephaestion…" I know that hearing this will make him even more excited and his member hardens further. 

I pull a pillow close and tell him to raise his hips, which he does. I push the pillow into place beneath his buttocks and stare hungrily at him. "I need you *now*." Normally I would take my time preparing him, but we have been apart for too long and I *need* to claim him now.

"Do you have anything…?"

Hephaestion doesn't finish his question. It probably has something to do with the fact that I inserted a saliva slicked finger into his body. His question makes me think though. I moved into these rooms only the other day and there is no oil I can use to smooth my way inside.

"Alexander…"

Hephaestion is panting and I penetrate him deeper so I can rub his prostate with my fingertip. My gaze is drawn toward the tray with food still sitting on the nightstand – and more exactly toward the bowl filled with sweet honey. 

Hephaestion's eyes widen as he sees me dipping my fingers in the sweet substance. 

"Alexander, no…"

"I don't have anything else handy," I say, trying to soothe him. "It this doesn't work I will stop." Stopping will kill me, but I will, as I don't want to hurt my lover in any way. I smear the honey all over my cock and then move closer to Hephaestion. I lift those long legs and rest them on my shoulders. Exposed as Hephaestion is, he squirms helplessly. 

"Alexander, I…"

"I know, Hephaestion, I know that it has been a while, but…" Unable to keep myself in check, I rub the head of my cock against the entrance to his body and then I press inside. 

"Oh, A…" 

Hephaestion suddenly releases a yelp and hearing that sound makes me sheathe myself further. I push inside until I am buried to the hilt and then I grow still. The honey is doing its job and makes it easier for me to take him, but Hephaestion is still tight and the sudden penetration must have caused him discomfort. "It will get better," I remind him and then I thrust again. 

"Ai…" 

Hephaestion whimpers and the sound makes me even more eager to ravish him. Putting my strength into the next thrust, I shove him over the bed and Hephaestion raises his hands to grab hold of the bars at the head end. I should be making gentle and slow love to him, but I can't. Instead I take him with desperation and need. I take him in a feral way and I can hear myself grunting each time I drive myself home. The experience is earthly and divine at the same time. Through Hephaestion I feel alive and at the same time I am reminded of my love for him. Without Hephaestion I am nothing. Hephaestion allows it – allows me to claim him in this way, even though he knows he will be sore in the morning. I am determined to see to it that he won't leave our bed tomorrow – no matter what it takes, I will make certain he rests.

Looking down at where our bodies are joined, I moan at the sight of seeing my cock disappear into his body. It is a magical sight and I heighten the pace in which I am thrusting inside him. I last longer than I thought I would, but then I succumb to my need and find release while I am still deeply lodged inside him. Hephaestion follows me a moment later and I collapse atop of him the moment his inner muscles begin to contract around my cock. 

Hephaestion folds his arms around me and holds me close while I lie panting atop of him. I feel connected again – connected to life, the lands, and to this man whom I love more than life itself. 

"Alexander…" 

Hephaestion gives me a weary look, which tells me it's time to pull out. I do so, and a load of semen, mixed in with honey clings to my rapidly softening member. "I made a mess." I still lack the strength to raise myself and remain atop of him, pressing him down. 

"Alexander, you need to move…"

"I am sorry. Am I too heavy?"

"That's not it, but… I feel…"

And then I realize what he is trying to tell me. My member seems glued to his groin area. "It’s the honey." 

"We are glued together." Hephaestion's face contorts. "Alexander, I am too tired to…"

"I will take care of it." I am grateful that I placed a bowl filled with water and towels next to the bed when I heard that Hephaestion would arrive that evening. Carefully I reach for it, but I am not careful enough as Hephaestion tenses beneath him. "Remind me to never use honey again." The lopsided grin Hephaestion gives me warms my heart. No matter how many mistakes I will make in my life, Hephaestion will always be there to forgive me. #

~~~

Alexander leaned back in his chair. Rereading the story, he felt pleased and cast a probing look at Hephaestion who was rummaging about in the kitchen. /Hopefully he isn't searching for honey!/ Alexander giggled and the sound caught Hephaestion's attention. 

Hephaestion turned around to give Alexander a searching look. "What did you do this time? Did you write more porn?"

"Not porn, my dear Hephaestion, slash!" Alexander watched eagerly as Hephaestion walked up to him. "I promised to let you read everything first, didn't I? Do you want to read it now?"

Feeling apprehensive, Hephaestion moved about the kitchen table and sat on the arm rest of the chair Alexander was sitting on. He scanned the lines onscreen and whimpered. "You just had to write down that scene, didn't you?"

Alexander raised a hand and rested it at the nape of Hephaestion's neck, enjoying the feeling of the mixture of hair and skin beneath his fingertips. "It's true, though. We did end up stuck together."

"I will never grow bored with having you as my lover," Hephaestion said, smiling at Alexander.

"I hope I will never bore you, my sweet Hephaestion." Alexander used his hold on Hephaestion's neck to pull him close enough to kiss him. 

Hephaestion deepened the kiss and, as they stared into each other's eyes, they knew they would be happy until the end.

~~~

"Hephaestion? Can I talk to you?"

Hephaestion could tell Bagoas was nervous because he was fidgeting with his sleeve and he wondered what was causing the distress. "But of course you can!" He patted the space next to him on the couch and put away the book he was reading. 

Bagoas sat down and a shy smile appeared on his face. "I have a request."

Hephaestion nodded, wondering what it was. "You know you can ask me anything."

Bagoas moistened his lips. "I made a plan to seduce Alexander." 

Hephaestion blinked. "And you did that because…?" So far, Bagoas wasn't making any sense.

"I have taken you and you have taken me. We have come full circle, but it is different for me when it comes down to Alexander. I took him, but I haven't allowed him to take me in turn yet. I wasn't comfortable with that thought until now."

Hephaestion nodded thoughtfully. "And now you are?"

"As long as I can do it on my terms I think I can. But I need your permission."

"Why don't you tell me what you are up to?"

Bagoas felt a bit nervous now that the moment of truth had arrived, but after a moment of thought, he went ahead and confided in Hephaestion.

~~~

"Aren't you coming with us?" Alexander beckoned for Hephaestion to join them, but the dark-haired man raised a hand and shook his head.

"No, I won't. I need to work on my book. I am close to finishing my work on Aristotle." This was the first step of Bagoas' plan and Hephaestion didn't begrudge Bagoas exclusive rights to Alexander's presence. It would be easier on Bagoas to do this if it was just the two of them, without him watching them.

"Are you sure?" Alexander gave Hephaestion a puzzled look. 

"I am sure! Have fun on your picnic." Hephaestion pointedly returned to typing away at his computer.

Left with no choice, Alexander picked up the bag Hephaestion had prepared for their picnic, containing food, drinks, and a huge blanket. He briefly wondered why Bagoas was carrying a bag as well, but then dismissed the thought.

They climbed onto Boukephalos' back and raised a hand in goodbye. Hephaestion waved back, but then continued to hammer away at the keyboard. It was true; he was close to finishing his book!

~~~

Bagoas drove his heels into the horse's flank and steered him in the direction he wanted Boukephalos to go in. He was nervous and his stomach felt fluttery. He hoped he could do this – he didn't want to disappoint Alexander.

~~~

Alexander recognized the spot Bagoas had chosen to hold their picnic. Months ago, he had taken Bagoas to this little stream to tell him that it was okay to love Hephaestion. 

"Why don't you spread out the blanket and put down the food? I'll be right back." After uttering those words, Bagoas disappeared between the trees, leaving a puzzled Alexander behind. 

Alexander scratched his head and then shrugged his shoulders. He had given up long ago on actually understanding Bagoas and just did as he was told. The changes Bagoas had gone through ever since their visit to Athens a few months ago pleased him. Bagoas had left his fears behind and had changed into a confident and proud young man who didn't possess the flaws Bagoas the eunuch had had. 

Alexander had finished unpacking the blanket and foods and then sat down on the blanket, keeping a sharp eye out for any crawling insects – in particular ants – as he hated everything that crawled and could potentially bite him. 

The soft rustling of clothes and the gentle sound of bells made him look up and his breath caught at the vision standing in front of him. "Bagoas?" He blinked in surprise. He had no idea how Bagoas had gotten a hold of that outfit, but it reminded him of the clothes the eunuch had worn for him whenever Bagoas had danced for him over two thousand years ago. The fabric of the loincloth looked soft and it took Alexander a moment to realize that it had to be silk. Its midnight-blue color suited Bagoas. The sound of the little bells stemmed from the ankle and arm bracelets his lover was wearing; they were golden and produced a ringing sound each time Bagoas moved. 

His look traveled higher and his heart missed a beat as he saw Bagoas had applied familiar make-up to his face. His eyes carried the distinct traces of kohl and his cheeks sported a little amount of rouge. The raven hair danced against his back, loose mostly, except for one braid that would keep the hair from tumbling into Bagoas' face during his dancing.

"Do you like it?" Bagoas rotated his hips and gave Alexander a seductive smile. "Does it remind you of the times I danced for you?"

"You wicked creature, you!" Alexander shifted on the blanket to relieve some of the pressure on his groin. He had grown hard and now squirmed uncomfortably. "You knew what seeing you dressed like this would do to me!"

"Oh, this only the beginning, my love." 

Those large eyes, underlined with kohl, made Alexander quiver with love and lust, and he realized that moment what was going on – what would happen today. Bagoas had taken him here for a reason – had put on those clothes for a reason! "So that is why you needed to go shopping one last time!"

"It wasn't easy to find the fabric," Bagoas said, as he moved closer. "But I managed in the end." Standing in front of Alexander, he began to dance. It was one of the dances he had performed for Alexander over two thousand years ago, but he had to improvise and change the steps a bit as he had no partner to catch him. He had worked hard on perfecting this dance. It had been the reason why he had snuck away from the cottage during the day. Alexander had tried to follow him once or twice, but Hephaestion had played his part and had called Alexander back, distracting him. 

Moving even closer to Alexander, Bagoas began to pant softly. Although he had trained during these last few weeks, this body didn't yet have the endurance his first one had possessed and he still tired quickly. 

Alexander stared at the lovely vision moving so sensually in front of him, and as he looked at Bagoas, he could see that the old and new soul had finally melted together. This was a new Bagoas – whole and complete. 

"I want you, Alexander…"

Bagoas' words didn't register with Alexander at first. He had been too entranced by Bagoas' seductive dancing. "What?"

Bagoas stopped dancing and straddled Alexander's lap instead. His hands were already busy removing Alexander's T-shirt. It was true – as long as he remained in control of their lovemaking, he could do this – he had told Hephaestion so when he had made him a part of this plan. 

"Bagoas, you don't have to do this. When I said that I would wait for you, I meant it." Alexander told himself that he should stop this, but Bagoas was now working on unzipping his jeans and his erection gained its freedom, springing free from its prison and feeling Bagoas' hands on him felt good.

"But I am ready, Alexander. This is it." Bagoas resolutely removed Alexander's jeans and underwear and then took a moment to admire his lover's body. This body was softer in places than Alexander the Great's body had been. This body was well-trained, but it wasn't a warrior's body. It wasn't scarred by battles – the skin was smooth and subtle. "I even prepared myself for you." By doing that himself, he *knew* that he was ready to make love. His passage was well-lubricated and stretched to accommodate Alexander. 

Alexander realized those things as well and didn't attempt to take control away from Bagoas. On the contrary, he remained passive and merely whispered words of love and encouragements.

Bagoas removed his loincloth and then positioned himself above Alexander's length. "It has been so long…"

Alexander stopped Bagoas from impaling himself by putting his hands beneath the compact behind and steadying the lithe dancer. "Gentle, Bagoas. Let's be gentle." The smile that shone from Bagoas' eyes almost made him come that instant. 

Bagoas nodded his head once and allowed Alexander to guide him in this. Alexander slowly lowered him onto the hard flesh, pausing every so often to give him a chance to grow used to the invasion. He folded his arms around Alexander's waist and rested his head on a shoulder as he slowly sank down on the erection. Their pace was slow, guaranteeing that there was as little discomfort as possible and Bagoas loved Alexander even more for being this considerate. 

Almost a minute later, his buttocks settled in Alexander's lap. He had taken his lover inside and Bagoas closed his eyes so he could concentrate on the intense feeling. "My Al'skander," he whispered, raising his head and giving his lover a feline grin. 

Alexander forced himself to continue the slow pace, although he wanted nothing more than to bounce Bagoas up and down on his cock. "I have missed hearing you call me that."

Bagoas purred and moved his hips, rotating them like Hephaestion had told him to do when the two of them had made love. He wasn't ready yet for a violent lovemaking and this gentle but subtle movement would also do the trick.

Alexander moaned and bit his bottom lip in order to contain his rapture. He wanted to scream at the world to let it know that Bagoas had returned to him. Instead, he guided Bagoas' brow against his shoulder and then thrust minutely. At the same time, he shifted Bagoas slightly on his lap, aiming the tip of his erection at his lover's prostate. 

Now it was Bagoas' turn to groan in pleasure and they acquired a somewhat odd pattern of rotating hips and marginal thrusting. In a way, this was more intense and more intimate than simply impaling himself on Alexander's cock. They also lasted longer this way, but in the end Bagoas finally succumbed to the pressure his body was in and he bit into Alexander's shoulder, overwhelmed as he was by the experience.

Alexander found release a moment later and continued to crush Bagoas against him. This felt so different from all the times they had made love before. This had been about love and devotion, not lust and sex, and he recognized the difference now. He could identify it. The old Alexander, the warrior-King, would never have been able to do so. 

"I bit you," Bagoas whispered as he raised his head in order to make eye contact. "I drew blood."

Alexander merely smiled and lifted his hands so he could undo the braid in Bagoas' hair. He moved his fingers through the strands and let the long hair flow down the elegant back. Staring into the large, dark eyes, he smiled. "I am so very proud of you, Bagoas, and I love you so much."

"You have changed," Bagoas realized in a moment of infinite clarity. 

"I hope it’s for the better," Alexander replied playfully. 

"I think so." Bagoas remained in position as long as he could until he felt Alexander's softening member leave his body. "Hephaestion will be pleased to hear that my plan to seduce you worked."

"Oh, so he was in on it?" Alexander found he couldn't stop touching Bagoas and kept running his fingers through the long hair. "I should have known."

Bagoas tilted his head so he could lean into the caress now that Alexander was stroking the skin along his jaw line. "I feel… new," he said, unable to find the right words to describe his emotional state.

"You are right; this *is* the new you, and let me assure you that I love you, Bagoas." Alexander leaned in a kissed Bagoas. "All of you, just the way you are."

Bagoas smiled and rested his brow against Alexander's. "That's all I ever wanted to achieve…" And now, he had – he was a new person, in balance, and loved.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Rocking the World  
Part 1

Hephaestion's appreciatory gaze followed Bagoas' form as it moved with a familiar sensuality and elegance. The raven hair now reached Bagoas' hips and danced against the small of the younger man's back whenever he swirled around. The ankle bracelets rustled with each movement and Hephaestion quickly lost himself to the lovely sight. 

Two months had passed since they had returned from Athens and they had settled back into their routine. 

Today, Alexander had taken Boukephalos for a ride, Hephaestion had settled in the shade of a tree with Peritas stretched out at his feet, and Bagoas was practicing what he called 'his dance of the veils' nearby. This was heaven as far Hephaestion was concerned. He couldn't remember having ever been happier. 

"Your eyes never leave me," Bagoas whispered in a breathless voice, out of breath due to his dancing. "You must like what you are seeing." Giving Hephaestion a stunning smile, he sat cross-legged beside the older man. 

"You are getting back in shape again," Hephaestion remarked as he ran his fingers through Bagoas' raven hair. He believed that all three of them had a bit of a hair fetish. He had realized that the other day when he had been surfing and had come across a picture of one very bald Jared Leto. His wide-eyed look of surprise had attracted Alexander and Bagoas' attention and his lovers had come up behind him to see what had startled him. Looking up from the screen and at Alexander, Hephaestion had seen him cringe. Bagoas had frowned and then shaken his head. 

"Apparently he shaved it off for a role in a new move he is playing in," Hephaestion had commented, trying to explain the drastic change in appearance.

Alexander had tried to form words, but had failed miserably. Bagoas had done better and he had instead murmured, "Such a shame… Such a waste…"

"Hephaestion? Hephaestion!" Bagoas shook Hephaestion gently and wondered about the distant look that had crept into the normally lucid eyes. 

"I was thinking about Jared Leto's new look," Hephaestion explained. 

Bagoas' features contorted. "Just console yourself with the fact that the hair will grow again."

"I do love the way your hair looks and moves through my fingers," Hephaestion admitted in a warm voice. "Promise me that you will never cut it off?"

"Don't worry. I have no desire to go bald on you." This time, Bagoas gave Hephaestion a cheeky grin. "You have a thing for long hair, don't you?" Even Alexander was growing his hair long just to please Hephaestion. Bagoas chuckled; his hair was the longest – it grew at an incredibly fast pace. Hephaestion's hair reached past his shoulder blades, while Alexander's was the shortest compared to theirs, since Alexander's hair still had to reach his shoulder blades.

"Did you know that Jared Leto and Colin Farrell wore amulets with a lock of each other's hair in it during the filming of the film? I think that is a very romantic gesture." Hephaestion's fingers left Bagoas' hair and his hand now cupped Bagoas' cheek. Ever since Bagoas had accepted his past and the part Bagoas the eunuch had played in it, a calming strength had come over the younger man. 

Bagoas once more applied his kohl beneath his eyes, accenting them in a striking way. He would brush his hair until it shone with a dark fire and sometimes, just to please Alexander, he would wear it in a pony tail, which made him look even more exotic. 

"Are you happy here, Bagoas? You are still so very young… Don't you want to *do* things?" Hephaestion savored Bagoas' presence and caressed his lover's face. He would never tire of Bagoas' exotic looks.

"Like what?" Bagoas leaned into the caress. He then tilted his head, pressed his lips against the palm of Hephaestion's hand, and bestowed a kiss onto the soft skin. 

Hephaestion licked his lips and decided that the time was right to try to convince Bagoas to indulge him. "I would like to travel to the States… Would you come with me? I know Alexander will, but I want you at my side as well."

Bagoas frowned. "I don't like flying…" And traveling to the States would take them many hours – hours in which he would be confined to a plane! "Why do you want to go there?"

"Yes, please enlighten me as well." Alexander jumped from Boukephalos' back, letting the stallion graze as he joined his lovers. He smiled at Bagoas and accepted the kiss which his younger lover planted firmly on his lips. He loved this more cheeky side to Bagoas. "Why do you want to go there?"

"I want to try to get into touch with Jared Leto – at the very least I want to see his band perform." Hephaestion held Alexander's gaze and read surprise there clearly. "I told you that before!"

"Yes, you did, but this is the first time that you are actually making plans to carry out that idea!" Alexander rested his back against the trunk of the tree and narrowed his eyes. "What's behind this?"

"Nothing." Hephaestion shrugged his shoulders. He had downloaded most of the band's songs and he liked them – just like Alexander and Bagoas did.

"You are restless," Bagoas decided after a moment's thought. He exchanged a look with Alexander. Hephaestion's restlessness had started after they had watched the Oliver Stone film. "What is this really about?"

Hephaestion cursed Bagoas' acuity. The younger man was beginning to display the shrewd thinking that had made Bagoas the eunuch such a formidable opponent and Hephaestion cringed as he realized that Bagoas knew something else was bothering him. Well, there was no use in denying the truth. He had better come clean. "Bagoas, can I ask you something personal? I hope you will answer, but I won't force you to tell me what I want to know."

Bagoas leaned in closer and crept over to Hephaestion on all fours. He straddled Hephaestion's lap and rested his brow against his lover's so he could study those unfathomable blue eyes. "What do you want to know?"

"What happened after Alexander died?" Hephaestion sucked in his breath – he had wanted to ask Bagoas for details for some time now, but had pushed his own needs aside as long as Bagoas was still healing. But Bagoas had grown strong – hopefully strong enough to discuss this horrid detail of their past. 

Bagoas frowned. "I told you, didn't I?"

"I don't think that is what Hephaestion wants to know." Alexander was still better at reading between the lines when it came down to his other half. "This isn't about what happened to you, Bagoas." Looking Hephaestion in the eye, he asked, "You want to know what happened to my corpse?"

Hephaestion nodded his head once. With Bagoas straddling his hips, his movement was limited, but he still managed to bury one of Alexander's hands in his. "Yes, that is it." His gaze shifted back from Alexander to Bagoas. "And only you can answer that question."

Bagoas' eyes sought out Alexander's. "We should start at the beginning." Both his lovers gave him a puzzled look, but Bagoas merely nodded his head to confirm his words. "What happened after Hephaestion died, Alexander?"

Alexander finally understood the point Bagoas was trying to make. Hephaestion's head slowly gravitated toward his shoulder and his lover's head now rested against his. "After holding the funeral ceremonies I started the fire that would burn your body. Once everything was over, I gathered the ashes and sealed them inside a bust I had made to keep your memory alive. It stood at the end of my bed the day I died."

Realizing it was now his turn to speak, Bagoas said, "After Alexander had died, chaos had ensued. They actually fought over the body and it was only because of Crateros' help that I managed to take Alexander's remains into safety." Reliving the memories was painful, as he was also forced to remember his former insane jealousy toward Hephaestion, but Bagoas didn't shy away from it. "Crateros and I decided that your remains should be conserved and a team of embalmers began to work on you. They were Egyptians and had long perfected their techniques. After they were done, I had looked at you and I had thought you were still alive. You didn't look dead, Alexander."

Alexander squeezed Hephaestion's hand for this was also new to him. "What did you do next?"

"Crateros wanted to take your corpse back to Macedon, but by now, fighting had spread through your former Kingdom. In the end, we decided that your final resting place should be Troy, where your heroes Achilles and Patrocles also rested." Bagoas drew in a deep breath. "It took me almost a year to take you there. Crateros had assigned an escort of your most loyal warriors to me and we were all determined to reach Troy. We moved slowly because your cart got stuck in the mud several times."

"You did that for me?" Alexander's big eyes had fastened on Bagoas in love. 

"I did more than that." Bagoas lowered his gaze and stared at Hephaestion's fingers which rested on his thigh. "No matter how much I hated you, Hephaestion, I knew that I could not separate your remains from Alexander's, so I took that bust with me as well."

Hephaestion's eyes swam with unshed tears. "I am so very proud of you!"

"Just hear me out!" Bagoas raised his eyes swiftly and swallowed hard as he looked into Hephaestion's watery ones. "It took us several weeks to dig into one of the hills there, but we managed to create a room inside of it. We placed Alexander's sarcophagus inside, along with Hephaestion's bust and some personal belongings." 

An ominous feeling coursed through Hephaestion. He had the feeling that something really bad was going to rock his world. "What happened next?" Alexander's fingers tightened around his, revealing that his lover shared his worries.

"I ordered them to return home. Most of the warriors hailed from Macedon and they were happy to return to their families. I stayed though. I didn't leave." Tremors shook Bagoas' frame – he had never thought he would ever have to tell this.

"What did you do?" Hephaestion rubbed Bagoas' face until the younger man calmed down a bit. Bagoas' dark eyes were also filling with tears and Hephaestion's heart thundered in his chest with apprehension. What news could be so terrible that Bagoas didn't want to tell them?

"I told them to close the entrance and…"

Hephaestion's eyes narrowed. "Bagoas, the way you said that… Does that mean you were still inside when they closed the tomb?" He hoped he had reached the wrong conclusion – for if it was the truth it would be hard to bear!

"Yes, I stayed behind. I had no place to go and wanted to die there. I had long prepared my wine – had added the poison to it and, once they had closed the entrance, I drank it. I died within the next few minutes. This is nothing new to you. The two of you know I took my life." Bagoas gave Hephaestion a rueful smile. "I wanted to be together with Alexander in death."

Alexander had remained quiet during Bagoas' revelations and stared at his lover in disbelief. He had known that Bagoas had taken his life after he'd died, but hadn't realized he had buried himself while he had still been alive. "Bagoas, I wish you had found the strength to continue on living instead of taking your life in such a way. I never wanted you to join me in death. I wanted you to be happy."

The smile that Bagoas gave Alexander spoke of a silent sadness. "What was I supposed to do, Alexander? Where could I go?"

"You mentioned that Crateros offered you a home with him." Hephaestion thought he had heard Bagoas say that once.

"Yes, he did, but why I should I have accepted his offer?" Bagoas' expression was open and hid nothing from his lovers. "I lived for you, Alexander, and when you died I lost my reason to live."

Hephaestion freed his hand from Alexander's hold and wrapped his arms around Bagoas' trembling form. He eased Bagoas against him and buried his younger lover in a tight hug. "You united the three of us in death. Maybe that is why we managed to find each other again in this life."

Bagoas rubbed his face against the fabric of Hephaestion's shirt. "I feel so ashamed of my behavior – my thoughts. I didn't want that bust – your remains – in there as well, but I knew Alexander would want that. I felt like I couldn't even rid myself of your presence in death!"

Hephaestion held Bagoas as the younger man tried to come to terms with this unpleasant memory. "I am sorry I asked you…"

But Bagoas firmly shook his head against Hephaestion's chest and murmured, "No, there shouldn't be any secrets between the three of us. I love you… I love both of you… and I want you to know that I have changed."

"I know that you have changed, my love." Hephaestion pressed a kiss onto Bagoas' raven hair and then cocked his head in order to make eye contact with Alexander. A plan was forming in his head and it looked like Alexander had had the same idea. "I want to go there."

Bagoas' head jerked back and the large, swimming eyes fastened in shock on Hephaestion. "You want what?"

"I want to go to Troy and locate our tomb," Hephaestion clarified. 

"But why?" Bagoas felt like pulling out his hair. Why had he told them in the first place? They should let the past rest! Hadn't Hephaestion learned that lesson yet? Not even after watching that Oliver Stone film which had left him shaken? "We shouldn't do that."

But then Alexander spoke. "No, Bagoas, I agree with Hephaestion. We have to go there."

"But why? You will find nothing there but death!" Bagoas blinked, feeling rather dazed.

Hephaestion smiled tenderly at Bagoas and soothingly stroked the younger man's back. The touch helped and Bagoas managed to regain his composure. Now that his lover was calm once more, Hephaestion said, "You have been so strong so far, Bagoas. Can't you be strong a little longer?"

"But why do you need to go there?" Bagoas continued to shiver against Hephaestion. "I am not sure I can find your last resting place… There were a lot of hills and I wasn't in my right mind. All you will find is Alexander's embalmed corpse and that is it!"

Hephaestion slowly shook his head. "We will find more there, trust me." He couldn't quite explain why he needed to go there, but he only knew that he had to see their last resting place for himself.

Alexander nodded his head; he supported Hephaestion's decision. Hephaestion was right; they needed to go to Troy and visit their tomb, though not even Alexander knew *why*.

~~~

Bagoas blankly stared at the screen of his laptop. He had accessed pictures of the burial hills at Troy and thought he had recognized the one they had used to store Alexander's remains in. He had briefly entertained the thought of changing Hephaestion's mind, but then he had recalled that Alexander also wanted to go and there was no way he could fight both of them over this. /Fight? Fight them? Why should I? Why does this upset me?/

During his time spent with Hephaestion in this lifetime he had learned that running away from his fears wasn't going to work and that he should face them instead. /What am I afraid of?/

Alexander had typed his fears up in story snippets and even Hephaestion had admitted to confiding his memories concerning his argument with Alexander over Eumenes to his laptop and now Bagoas wondered if the same thing would work for him as well. Would typing everything up help him understand the terror that coursed through him whenever he thought of having to face Troy?

He could try.

~~~

# I am tired. So very tired and I have finally come to the end of my journey. Taking Alexander's remains to Troy has worn me down and I can tell by looking at the faces of his soldiers that they want to return home. This is their way of paying Alexander their last respects and, once he has found his last resting place here, they will return to their wives and children.

But I will never leave this place. I will stay here, at Troy. Where else should I go? Yes, Crateros and other of Alexander's Companions offered to take me in, but I don't want that. I have never been someone to live on charity. I might be able to make it on my own. I still have some valuables Alexander left me and I could sell those. The money they would bring would allow me to buy a home and live in peace and quiet for some years. But that is not who I am. I served Kings and I saw them die. How can I settle for a life on the country side? I have changed. I have seen too much to go back to an ordinary way of life. 

My life has been full of pain, pleasure, incredible sights, conquests, loss, jealousy, and love and I want it to end it like I lived – in a dramatic way. 

I knew this would happen ever since the day Alexander died. I will never forget the way he called out for Hephaestion – the way his eyes pleaded with the gods to reunite them and I had to let him go. My love didn't matter. Only Hephaestion's did and, in the end, I had no choice but to accept that. 

This tomb will do nicely. We dug out this room in the heart of the hill and it holds enough room for my plans. Alexander's sarcophagus is already being placed at the center of the room and the soldiers are now also adding Hephaestion's bust and a trunk with some of Alexander's personal belongings. I glare in hatred at the bust which holds Hephaestion's ashes. I was doomed to lose this battle – I was destined to fade into nothingness. I don't compare to Hephaestion in Alexander's eyes – my King preferred to die. My love wasn't enough reason for him to remain alive… I failed him. 

"We are ready, Bagoas." The officer in charge walks up to me and gives me a long, hard look. I told him about my plans and he tried to change my mind, but to no avail. I am determined to do this.

"Then close the entrance. I want our King's rest to be undisturbed for eternity." Hopefully no one will ever find out that Alexander's remains rest at Troy. 

"Bagoas, I wish I could change your mind. You are throwing your life away."

"My mind is made up." I ignore the look filled with sympathy and sorrow the officer gives me. In a strange way, I became a part of Alexander's army throughout the years. The officers accepted me and I never expected that to happen. "Leave me."

He shakes his head and I can tell that he is going to try once more to change my mind, but I simply turn my back toward him and stare at the sarcophagus instead. "Go," I say in the most commanding tone I can muster. I hope it is enough to make him comply. 

"I am sorry, Bagoas…" Those are the last words he utters before leaving my side and ordering the soldiers to close the entrance with mud and stone. In a few minutes, I will be buried alive inside.

I lock out the noise they are making now that they are sealing the entrance and I kneel beside Alexander's remains. I have an oil lamp with me and I place it on the lid of Alexander's sarcophagus. I asked for it to be made of glass so I could look upon him in my dying moments. 

He looks peaceful in death. He looks asleep and there is a tiny smile on his face. In his hands, he holds a letter. Just before he died, he asked for it and, out of curiosity, I checked its content after his death. It didn't surprise me to find that it was a letter he had written to his Hephaestion – a letter in which he declares his undying love for the other man. It is even more proof of my failure to replace Hephaestion's love with mine. 

Kneeling beside the stone sarcophagus, I stare at his face, relaxed in death and oh so beautiful. His long, fair hair frames his face and for one moment I wish the eyes would open and look at me in love. But they will remain closed for all eternity.

I must credit the Egyptian embalmers. They did their work extremely well and Alexander will be preserved for eternity. It is almost a shame that no one will ever again look upon the face of Alexander the Great, but I refuse to share him. He is mine now in death -- all mine. 

The soldiers have closed the entrance and I am alone now with death – cut off from the living. I will die of lack of oxygen in time, but I don't want to wait that long. I don't want to die of suffocation. I uncover the phial that holds the poisonous wine. I mixed a cobra's venom into it and it will cause my death within minutes. I won't suffer that long and then I can finally cast away this burden that I have carried my entire life.

I was cheated out of my life, my family, my heirs, and my birthright, but serving Alexander had made my life a little more bearable. I have seen things no one else will. I have known Alexander the Great. I have known him intimately and no one can take my memories away from me. I only wish my love had been enough for Alexander.

I remove the stopper from the phial and draw in a deep breath. I don't want to drink yet… I will wait until the light of the oil lamp goes out. I want to look at him as long as I can… My lover… My King… My everything…

~~~

An hour later, the air begins to become thin and the light of the lamp falters. The time has come and I place the phial against my lips. Soon, Alexander, soon… I will join you in death…

I empty the phial's content and the glass slips from my fingers. It falls onto the ground and a sharp pain twists my insides. This is it – this is death. 

My body convulses and my heart continues to pump the poison through my veins. The pain is intense, but I know everything will be over within a few seconds.

"Alexander… I love you…" I want those to be my last words, but I am not prepared to hear just how broken my voice sounds when I speak them. I stare at his face, place my hands against the glass that keeps us apart, and draw in my last breath. A sharp pain stabs my heart and it stops beating, finally succumbing to the poison. My head drops onto the glass lid and my pupils widen in death.

It's done -- we are together in death. #

~~~

Bagoas stared at the screen through a waterfall of tears which dripped from his face and onto his shirt. His hands shook violently and he was unable to continue typing. He released a strangled sob and cried – hard. 

"Bagoas?" Alexander, who had been readying the table for dinner, walked over to Bagoas and knelt so he was level with the younger man. "Bagoas? Look at me?" Seeing and hearing Bagoas weep tore him apart and he wanted nothing more than to console him. "What's amiss?"

Bagoas finally raised his head and blinked a few times in an effort to rid himself of his tears. Seeing Alexander alive and well in front of him calmed him down. Needing to also feel him, Bagoas wrapped his arms around Alexander's shoulders and then pulled him close. "I remembered something…"

Alexander privately cursed their memories. Some time ago, it had been Hephaestion who had felt crushed under his memories concerning Eumenes and now it was Bagoas who had recalled something nasty. "What was it?"

"Your sarcophagus had a lid made of glass and I remembered the way you looked in death…" Bagoas hiccupped and then cried some more. "You looked so much at peace…" 

Alexander proceeded to pull Bagoas close and held him tight. "I never considered what my death would do to you. I lost my mind after Hephaestion died. I could still sense your love for me, but I hungered for something else."

"You hungered for Hephaestion." Composing himself again, Bagoas wiped away his tears and sat upright. Alexander's hands were clasped around his and rested in his lap. "I am afraid, Alexander."

"What are you afraid of?" Alexander couldn't thank Hephaestion enough for teaching him that they needed to discuss their feelings – their fears and their hopes. It had improved his relationships a lot – with Hephaestion and with Bagoas as well. 

"I am afraid how I will react when I look upon your sarcophagus again, Alexander." But there was something else as well. How would he react to seeing his remains – his skeleton – lying next to the sarcophagus? What would that confrontation do to him? 

"You won't be alone when you go in there, Bagoas. Hephaestion and I will be at your side. We will help you cope." Alexander rubbed Bagoas' trembling fingers. "And you *do* have faith in us, don't you?"

Bagoas managed a weak smile at seeing Alexander's hopeful expression. "I do. I know you won't let me down. The two of you have come through each time since we found each other again. I have faith in you."

Alexander returned the smile and nodded his head once. "Hephaestion is right, you know. You are much stronger than you think, especially since you stopped fighting your past and made your peace with it. You can do this. I have faith in you too."

Alexander's words were just the thing Bagoas needed to hear and he leaned in closer to press a kiss onto Alexander's lips. "Thank you, my Al'skander." 

Alexander's smile brightened and he gave Bagoas a wink. "I will always be your 'Al'skander'." 

Bagoas felt calmer now that he had confided his fears to Alexander. Yes, he could do this. He could do this because he had Alexander and Hephaestion's support. His lovers would pull him through. "When will we leave?"

"Hephaestion said he would like to leave in a few days, if that's all right with you."

Bagoas nodded. Now that he had made up his mind to do this, he wanted to get it over with. The sooner they left the better.

TBC

Part 2

Bagoas still didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of visiting Troy, but he had accepted the inevitable. He was seated in the backseat and had been assigned to read the map, as Hephaestion had proven a failure at map reading. Bagoas, however, suspected Hephaestion had read the map wrong on purpose so the older man could transfer that responsibility onto him in an effort to distract him. His nervousness had showed clearly and Bagoas was actually grateful that he now had something to do. 

"Alexander, turn right." They were only an hour away from Troy and Bagoas forced himself to remain composed. The strategy was working. Although he felt edgy, he was in control of his nerves.

"I am excited," Alexander admitted, steering the car in the right direction. "Bagoas, you mentioned that you also sealed some personal belongings in with me. Do you remember what they were?"

"Letters mostly." In retrospect, Bagoas felt thankful that he had set his jealousy aside in the end and had included the bundle of letters Hephaestion and Alexander had written each other whenever they had been forced apart for a longer stretch of time. Reading them again would please Alexander and Bagoas reckoned Hephaestion as well. 

Alexander frowned, suddenly recalling something. "Bagoas, I cut off a braid of Hephaestion's hair before he was put onto the pyre. Didn't I put it inside a letter? Did you manage to save that one as well?"

Bagoas continued to read the map, but nodded his head at the same time. "I think so. It should be inside the chest." Strangely enough, discussing these details was helping him calm further. He wasn't as nervous as he had thought he would be – he actually felt calm and in control. 

Alexander seemed excited and Bagoas understood why. Alexander was about to enter his past again – a past which was precious to him and therefore the former King didn't fear it. It was Hephaestion who worried Bagoas though. Hephaestion had grown eerily quiet now that Troy was getting closer. Bagoas managed a peek at Hephaestion's blue eyes in the mirror and found them big and blank. "Hephaestion? Is something wrong?"

Hearing Bagoas' question, Alexander also peeked at his lover and identified the empty look in the blue eyes. His lover's thoughts were somewhere else – probably in the past. "Hephaestion?"

"I am fine," Hephaestion quickly said in order to reassure them. "Just thinking of the past."

"Do you still want to do this? We can still turn back, you know." Bagoas was still convinced that turning back was the best thing to do. Locating Alexander's remains would evoke powerful emotions and it was impossible to tell just how they would react to seeing Alexander's embalmed remains. 

"I am sure," Hephaestion answered, but this time his voice sounded strained and stressed. "We need to do this."

"No, we don't." But Bagoas received no answer after making that statement and concentrated on reading his map again. Hephaestion wouldn't listen to him, though he had no idea why.

~~~

Bagoas felt composed as he stepped out of the car. Alexander was already looking around in an attempt to get his bearings, while Hephaestion looked lost. Acting on his instincts which told him that Hephaestion needed him, Bagoas curled his fingers around the older man's and squeezed them in order to show his support. He wanted to remind Hephaestion once more that they didn't have to do this, but in the end, he didn't. In Hephaestion's eyes he had read the determination to do this.

Hephaestion gave Bagoas a weak smile once he noticed their twined fingers. "Do you remember which hill it was?"

Bagoas drew in a deep breath and scanned his surroundings. While he had been surfing on the internet, he thought he had located the right hill, but now he hesitated to share that information with his lovers. Something felt off and an apprehensive feeling moved through him. His eyes narrowed, realizing that his attention was focused on Hephaestion. /Something is wrong with him, but what is it?/

"Hephaestion?" Alexander had removed the two shovels he had brought with him from the car and now looked with expectation at Bagoas. "Where do we start to dig?"

"Over there." Bagoas pointed at one of the tallest hills. "I believe I recognize its shape."

"Let's get started then." Resolutely, Alexander marched toward the hill and then started to shovel.

~~~

Hephaestion joined Alexander and they now worked together on exposing the entrance to the tomb the soldiers he had dug centuries ago. Bagoas watched Hephaestion closely and worried about the distant expression in those blue eyes. Because he was so focused on Hephaestion, he forgot about his own worries and fears. 

"I have found something!" Alexander had shoveled loads of clay out of the way and now his shovel met with no more resistance. 

Hephaestion moved over to where Alexander was standing and, together, they removed the last earth that kept them from reaching the tomb hidden inside. Bagoas felt catapulted back into the past and recalled how hard the soldiers had worked on creating the space inside the hill. They had used the beams made of several strong trees to support the earth so the hill wouldn't collapse into itself and now the first support beams appeared in front of him. Yes, this was the hill. This was where Alexander's remains had been buried.

"Bagoas, get the flash lights from the car. We will need them to light our way!" Alexander, growing even more energized, now pushed the earth out of the way and tried to throw a first glance inside, but there was only darkness. 

Bagoas fetched the flash lights and handed one of them to Alexander. He kept one himself and pressed the last flash light into Hephaestion's hand. 

Alexander switched it on and directed the strong beam at the inside of the hill. "Oh my," he whispered when he realized that they had found the sarcophagus.

Bagoas pushed Alexander aside and hurried inside. His breath caught now that the light rested on the collapsed skeleton next to the sarcophagus. It was a strange, almost surreal experience to look upon his remains. His raven hair had remained intact and covered the bones that made up his face. He was still wearing the circlet Alexander had once gifted to him and a golden amulet rested on his exposed breast bone. The fabric of his clothes had long faced decay and only a few strands of gold remained. The jewelry was still intact, though. His ankle and arm bracelets, the amulet, and the circlet looked the same they had on the day he had drunk the poisonous wine. 

During his death, he had collapsed onto the glass lid, and his upper body rested atop the sarcophagus. "That's me…" 

Alexander, recalling how Bagoas had sobbed after realizing he was about to face his corpse, quickly reached for his younger lover and wrapped an arm around Bagoas' waist. "Your loyalty and dedication went beyond the grave, Bagoas. You did everything right."

Alexander's words worked miracles and soothed him. He had been about to burst into tears, but now Bagoas found he had no more reason to shed them. He had done everything right – everything. "You should be the first to look," he said, pointing Alexander to the sarcophagus. "I am not certain I will." He still remembered how Alexander had looked in death and had made his peace with his past during these last few days.

Alexander moved toward the sarcophagus. The light guided his way and he sucked in his breath when he caught a first look of his embalmed body resting beneath the glass lid. He had seen his face many times in the mirror – had heard Hephaestion praise his handsome features, had shaved himself countless times, and yet, when he looked at that ancient face, he knew it wasn't him lying in that sarcophagus, not anymore. This was a different man. This man had been driven by fear, ambition, and insanity. This man had believed that he was destined to be more than a mortal man – to be a god and nothing less. 

With the utmost care, he moved closer and knelt next to the sarcophagus. "Bagoas, more light please."

Bagoas redirected the beam of his flash light and now enabled Alexander to take in more of his remains. 

Alexander was unable to draw in his next breath and felt like he could choke any moment. He was looking at his alter ego, Alexander the Great, and Bagoas had been right – he looked alive, like he was merely asleep. "Bagoas, help me lift the lid." He had caught sight of the letter and now wanted to remove the piece of paper from the sarcophagus.

"Should you do that, Alexander? It might fall apart. It is old – so old." Bagoas shuffled toward Alexander and considered his lover's request. "We shouldn't do this. We should let this rest – let it remain undisturbed."

Alexander considered Bagoas' words carefully. "Where are the other letters?"

 

"In the trunk over there." Bagoas indicated the trunk's location by moving the light over there. He followed Alexander and squatted, mimicking Alexander, when the blond man opened the trunk. Directing the light into it, they found that most of the letters had remained intact. 

Alexander reached for a bundle of letters, unfolded the paper, and read the confessions of love Hephaestion and he had exchanged year after year. Examining the contents of the trunk further, he released a delighted yelp as he also uncovered the braid of Hephaestion's hair. "It survived!" Alexander was about to get to his feet again and present the letters to Hephaestion when a keening wail echoed through the tomb.

In their excitement, Bagoas and Alexander had forgotten about Hephaestion, who had approached the sarcophagus and had then collapsed beside it. 

"Hephaestion?" Bagoas privately cursed himself for not paying attention to Hephaestion when it had already been obvious that the older man had been upset. He hurried over to Hephaestion's side and knelt beside him. "Hephaestion?" 

But Hephaestion was unable to react to Bagoas' pleading tone. All he saw was Alexander – his Alexander – dead, embalmed, and laid to rest in his sarcophagus. "Alexander!" 

Alexander reacted at once and covered the distance between them. His first reaction was to kneel in front of Hephaestion, but that was impossible, as Hephaestion had wrapped his arms around the sarcophagus. Hephaestion's upper body rested on the glass lid, so Alexander opted for a different approach and knelt behind Hephaestion. 

Hephaestion had gone into shock at seeing Alexander's remains. Until now, Alexander's death had been a scene on screen – or a picture woven from Bagoas' words, but now, all that had become terribly real. "No, you can't be dead!"

"We need to get him out of here." Hephaestion's reaction alarmed Alexander, who resorted to using force in order to pull Hephaestion's hands free of the sarcophagus. "Hephaestion, listen to me. Listen to my voice. I am not dead. I am alive. I am here with you." But Hephaestion was beyond his reach and the distressed man continued to sob and wail uncontrollably. In the end, Alexander realized he had no other choice and used all of his strength to pull Hephaestion away from the sarcophagus. "Bagoas, help me!"

Hephaestion was a dead weight in-between them as Alexander and Bagoas half-dragged, half-carried him outside. Alexander lowered Hephaestion onto the grass and quickly moved into Hephaestion's line of sight. "Look at me!" He cupped Hephaestion's chin in his hand and raised his lover's head. Hephaestion shook over his entire body and seemed to be fighting to draw in his next breath. "Hephaestion!" 

Bagoas felt helpless. All he could do was support Hephaestion, while Alexander tried to pull their lover from the shock he was in. /Why didn't I see this coming? I should have known something like this would happen! Alexander had had the time and the opportunity to mourn Hephaestion's death and I had had the time to accept Alexander's death's as well. Alexander and I faced our lover's death, but Hephaestion never did as he died before we did. He never saw Alexander dead./ 

"Bagoas, fetch the bottled water." Alexander was growing desperate now that Hephaestion still didn't react to his pleading. 

Bagoas eased Hephaestion against Alexander and then went to get the water Alexander had asked for.

Alexander wrapped his arms around Hephaestion's trembling form and now rocked his lover. Hephaestion's head rested against his shoulder and his lover's skin felt cold and clammy. It was so damn easy to forget that Hephaestion was only human too. Hephaestion was always the strong one, the rock he had built his life and love on and now that Hephaestion had crumbled under the emotional pressure, Alexander knew he had to pull him through. It was a strange position he found himself in, but he was determined not to let Hephaestion down. "I am here for you, Hephaestion. I am here for you… You are not alone… I am not dead, Hephaestion."

Alexander kept up the soothing murmuring until Bagoas returned with the bottled water. He placed the bottle against Hephaestion's lips and forced some of the cool liquid down his lover's throat in the hope that it would jolt him out of his stupor. 

It seemed to work. Hephaestion coughed violently, the eyes regained their normal awareness, but then another scream left his lover's lips, making Alexander's skin crawl. "What is happening with him? I don't understand." Feeling helpless, Alexander sought out Bagoas' eyes.

"Think about it. You witnessed his demise and you took care of his remains. I did the same thing for you, but as Hephaestion died first, your death never truly registered with him – until now. Now, it is all of a sudden very real for him." Bagoas rubbed large circles onto Hephaestion's back, trying to establish some sort of contact. 

Bagoas' words made sense and Alexander cursed himself for being so ignorant. He should have realized that something like this could happen. "What do we do?"

"What we are doing right now. We can't move him in his current condition. We must make him react to us." Bagoas sat down and pulled Hephaestion's back against his chest, locking his arms around the older man. "There should be a blanket in the car. Get it and see if some coffee is left."

Alexander made his way over to the car, returned with the blanket, and covered Hephaestion's convulsing body with it. He had also brought the flask with coffee in it and now poured some of the black liquid into a plastic cup. "I never thought this could happen." He placed the cup at Hephaestion's lips and grew a bit calmer when his lover obediently swallowed the coffee. "He is always the strong one… I tend to forget that he has needs too."

"So do I." Bagoas however was determined not to make that mistake again and he could tell by reading Alexander's expression that the blond man was determined to do better as well. "Sometimes, he needs to lean on us."

Alexander nodded and managed to establish eye contact with Hephaestion, who was blinking rapidly. "Please hand him to me. I need to hold him." 

Bagoas complied and eased Hephaestion's body into Alexander's arms. Realizing the two men needed some privacy he got to his feet, picked up the flash lights, and walked toward the tomb again.

Hephaestion blinked one more time, gasped for air, and then coughed violently. The first thing he became aware of was the warm body pressed against his and when he raised his eyes, his heart stopped beating for one terrible moment. "You are dead."

"No, I am not dead. I am alive and I am holding you in my arms, my beloved Hephaestion." Alexander pressed a kiss onto his lover's brow and succeeded in maintaining eye contact, even though Hephaestion's gaze was still a bit unfocused. "I am here. I am alive. And so are you."

Still shivering, Hephaestion pulled the blanket closer. "What happened?" His head still spun and whenever he closed his eyes, he saw Alexander's remains in his mind. "I saw your corpse just now."

"I died a long time ago, Hephaestion, and so did you. But we are alive again, don't you remember?" Alexander stroked Hephaestion's hair and continued to rock him. His entire being was focused on comforting his lover. "I should have listened to Bagoas when he said we should let the past rest."

Hephaestion blinked again and spat out the coffee he had sipped. His stomach had rebelled and he pressed tightly against Alexander. "I feel strange."

"I will look after you, my beloved. Don't worry." It was seldom that he was called upon to be the strong one in their relationship, but he rose to the challenge and continued to rock Hephaestion until his lover grew a bit calmer. Driving back home today was out of the question – Hephaestion needed to rest and not be cooped up in a car. "We brought tents. Is it okay with you that we camp here?" 

But Hephaestion didn't really seem to register Alexander's question. His lips continued to whisper, "You are dead… You are dead…"

"I am so sorry I brought you here… so sorry." Alexander buried Hephaestion's head beneath his chin and rocked him. 

~~~

Bagoas surprised himself by being steadfast and faced his past once more. He sat on his heels in front of his remains and studied the skeleton. So this was what remained of him after such a long time. 

His gaze was drawn toward the jewelry – to the circlet to be precise. He had always been fond of it, as it had been a present from Alexander and he carefully removed it from the raven hair. Some strands remained entangled with the circlet and he gathered them in his hand before putting the circlet into the pocket of his jacket. He also removed the ankle bracelets, but left the rest in place. He needed to take something palpable with him from this adventure. 

His next gaze was directed at the sarcophagus and, although he didn't know why he did it, he pushed the glass lid aside so he could reach inside. Using a small knife, which he had found in the trunk earlier, he cut off three locks of Alexander's hair and put them into a pouch, which he had also removed from the chest. It had contained healing herbs, but he now removed them so it could now hold Alexander's hair. He put the lid back into place again and then moved over to the trunk. He closed the lid and then dragged it outside. He was quite certain that Alexander would want to leave as quickly as possible, but not without taking with them what he had come for. 

~~~

Alexander had eventually decided against putting up the tents and had moved Hephaestion into the passenger's seat of the car. Sitting on his heels in front of Hephaestion, he guided his lover's head between his love’s knees and rubbed Hephaestion's neck in the hope to draw him further from his disorientated state. "Just draw in deep breaths, Hephaestion, and all will be well."

From the corner of his eye, Alexander watched Bagoas lift the small chest and place it in the car's trunk. He nodded his head once to show his approval and then gestured for Bagoas to join him. 

"How is he doing?" Bagoas sat down on the grass and watched Hephaestion lift his head. The older man looked extremely pale, his eyes were red-rimmed, and the lips moved, but brought forth no words. 

"Not too well, but at least he is back with us." Alexander remained concerned about his lover. "I underestimated the effect this would have on him."

"I didn't consider it either. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what it was." Bagoas moved closer until he could rub Hephaestion's face. Hephaestion gave him a grateful look and then put his head between his knees again, drawing in deep breaths, just as Alexander had told him to.

"I am going to close the tomb again," Alexander announced. "I don't want Hephaestion to go back in there. You were right, Bagoas. We should have let the past rest. Will you stay with Hephaestion while I…" His voice drifted off as his gaze shifted toward the still exposed entrance. He needed to go inside one last time – to say his goodbyes to himself. /Now that's a weird thought./ But it was the truth.

"Go on. I will stay with Hephaestion." Bagoas understood what was going on in Alexander's head and watched the reborn warrior-king disappear inside again. Now that Alexander was out of view, he concentrated on Hephaestion instead.

~~~

Alexander used his flash light to illuminate various parts of the tomb. The first thing the ray happened upon was Hephaestion's bust. It stood in a corner and was covered with dust, but the features were unmistakably Hephaestion's. "Oh, my beloved Hephaestion," he whispered, remembering that his lover's ashes were locked inside the bust. "I kept my promise and by doing that, I sentenced Bagoas to death as well." 

He gave the bust one last parting look and then let the ray of light descend onto Bagoas' skeleton. He noticed that the circlet had been removed and reckoned Bagoas wanted to keep it with him. It had been one of several presents which he had given to the eunuch in their first life. "Bagoas, I failed you. I utterly failed you." He had made too many mistakes where the younger man was concerned, but he hoped that he had made amends in this life.

In the end, he looked at his remains. Bagoas was right – he merely looked asleep. Studying the identical face, Alexander realized he still saw traces of pride and arrogance in the wrinkles. Alexander the Great had left behind a torn empire, which had quickly fallen apart after his death. He had failed in more ways than one. 

In the end, all he'd had to hold on to had been a letter in which he had told Hephaestion just how much he loved him and needed him. He had clung to it in the moment of his death. 

/This is my past and I need to let it rest. I have Hephaestion to look after. Only the gods know what this did to him. I never expected him to fall apart like that. What have I done?/ 

~~~

Alexander closed the entrance and he did it with a vengeance that surprised Bagoas, who kept a close eye on him. Alexander managed to erase all traces of their expedition and, when the blond man joined them, Alexander looked much older than he had when they had set out on this journey. This experience had changed Alexander. 

"We are driving home." Alexander determinedly approached Hephaestion, who was sitting in the shade of a tree. Alexander noticed that Bagoas had made sure that the car blocked the view of the tomb and Hephaestion hadn't seen him go inside or close up the entrance. "Hephaestion, we are going home." The look which Hephaestion gave him made Alexander's heart pound in his chest. He had never seen Hephaestion look so vulnerable before and he lowered himself onto his heels so he could tangle his fingers in his lover's hair. "We are going home, my beloved Hephaestion." 

"I don't feel well," Hephaestion said in a soft voice, which was barely more than a whisper. "I feel weak. I am not sure my legs can support me." The shock he had suffered had taken its toll on his system. "I want to lie down and sleep." 

"You can do that once we are on our way." Alexander pushed his arms beneath Hephaestion's knees and back. Lifting his lover took all of his strength. He wasn't used to having to carry Hephaestion. His lover was stronger than he was, but somehow, Alexander managed to carry him over to the car. The way Hephaestion rested his head against his chest moved Alexander deeply. Never before had Hephaestion needed him to be so strong on an emotional level.

With Bagoas' help, Alexander managed to place Hephaestion on the back seat. He lifted Hephaestion's legs and, although the back seat was too small to accommodate a lying Hephaestion, his lover managed after pulling in his legs. "Will this do for now?" Maybe he should desert his idea to drive home. It would take them three hours to get back to their cottage and he wasn't certain Hephaestion would be comfortable for so long, cooped up as he was on the back seat. Maybe they should stop when they encountered a hotel. 

"I want to go home, Alexander, please." Hephaestion still sounded distressed, disoriented even. "Just take me home." 

"I will," Alexander promised. He turned to Bagoas and asked, "Are we ready to leave?"

Bagoas nodded his head once. The chest was safe in the car's trunk and contained Alexander's belongings which he had valued so much in life. They had found what they had come for.

Alexander started the car and steered it away from Troy. He vowed to never return here.

TBC

Part 3

Relief flooded Alexander when they finally drove up to their cottage. Hephaestion had been quiet during their trip home and, concerned, Bagoas had changed his seat in the front for the back seat. Hephaestion had pushed himself in an upright position and had rested his head against Bagoas' shoulder. Alexander had studied them in his mirror and had seen how their fingers had interlaced. Hephaestion was doing better – but only marginally.

He parked the car close to their cottage and then switched off the engine. Alexander opened the car door, got out, and then opened the other door so he could assist Hephaestion in getting out. 

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath and forced himself into motion. He shifted toward the end of the seat, placed his feet on the ground, and summoned his strength in order to push himself upright. Fortunately Alexander caught him and steadied him as he swayed. He felt light-headed and his body shivered with cold, which was odd as it was a warm evening. He shouldn't be feeling cold. 

Bagoas exited the car as well, closed the door behind him, and then came up to Hephaestion's right side. Alexander and he supported Hephaestion and they slowly walked toward the cottage. Peritas, who had woken from his sleep, now advanced on them and wagged his tail. But they ignored the dog, not daring to loosen their hold on Hephaestion. 

Bagoas looked questioningly at Alexander and awaited directions. 

"We will put him to bed. He needs rest." Once Hephaestion was lying down comfortably he might feel better. 

They guided Hephaestion into the bedroom and sat him down on the side of the bed. Alexander made quick work of removing Hephaestion's clothes, while Bagoas turned down the covers and lit several candles so it wouldn't be completely dark in the room. Bagoas lifted Hephaestion's feet and Alexander eased their lover down onto his side. "I will stay, don't worry." Alexander would have liked to examine the content of the chest they had brought with them, but reassuring Hephaestion and comforting his lover was his first priority. "Just give me a moment to strip." Alexander gave Bagoas a meaningful look, which said, 'You too'. 

Bagoas had no problems with that and, after he had stepped out of his clothes, he slipped between the sheets and lay spooned behind Hephaestion, whom he pulled close against him. 

Alexander, who was naked now, stretched out in front of Hephaestion so his lover could see him. He folded his arms around Hephaestion and maintained eye contract. What would tonight be like? Would Hephaestion be able to rest? "You should try to sleep."

Hephaestion shivered like a leaf and his lovers reacted by pressing closer. Their arms, and even Bagoas' legs, were tightly wrapped around him and yet, Hephaestion still felt lost. He was afraid to close his eyes because then the memory of seeing Alexander dead inside that sarcophagus would come back to haunt him. His gaze remained fastened on Alexander's face and he continued to fight his exhaustion. He still felt very weak and light-headed; he hated feeling that way. "Why do I feel this way?"

Alexander caressed Hephaestion's hair and with his other hand, he rubbed his lover's side. "Because you never had a chance to mourn my death, Hephaestion, and now you were confronted by the past. You were rather unprepared and I had no idea it would hit you that hard – seeing me dead."

"I am cold," Hephaestion murmured in a lost tone. "Why am I cold?"

Hephaestion's child-like tone touched Alexander and he stroked the cold skin beneath his fingertips harder in an effort to warm his lover up. "You suffered a shock, Hephaestion. Don't talk, try to rest instead. Try to sleep."

"I can't. I don't want to." Hephaestion's eyes however were already in the process of closing. "I don't want you to be dead."

Alexander involuntarily sucked in his breath now that the blue eyes had firmly closed. Keeping up the soothing touches, he hoped Hephaestion's sleep would be undisturbed, but he was afraid nightmares would haunt his lover instead. 

Bagoas suddenly began to sing softly and Alexander gave his younger lover a puzzled look. Bagoas was singing a song he had learned a long time ago when he had lived at Darius' court – it was a lullaby, which he had sung often to either lure himself or Darius into sleep. 

As the song continued, the frown disappeared from Hephaestion's face and he seemed to relax a bit. Alexander gave Bagoas a grateful look. "He will need us, Bagoas – the both of us." Bagoas blinked his eyes once, indicating he had understood. "We must stay at his side tonight." Bagoas closed his eyes and continued singing his lullaby.

~~~

"No!" Hephaestion's scream cut through the bedroom and jolted his lovers awake. 

Alexander privately cursed himself as he realized that he had fallen asleep when he had been determined to stay awake so he could guard his lover's sleep. Hephaestion was moving wildly about, tossing on the bed, and his arms moved uncontrollably, like he was reaching for something. /Not something – someone – me./ Alexander reacted by shaking Hephaestion – gently, but resolutely. "Hephaestion, wake up! You are having a nightmare!"

Bagoas glared at Alexander for trying to wake Hephaestion in such a rude way. Couldn't Alexander be a bit more subtle? 

But Alexander continued to shake Hephaestion until the azure eyes finally opened and looked at him. "I am here, Hephaestion, I am here. Everything is all right. You had a bad dream. You had a nightmare." The expression in those blue eyes was one of terror and immense loss and Alexander quickly kissed his beloved Hephaestion while running his hands through the auburn hair. "I am here, Hephaestion. I am here."

Hephaestion calmed down slowly. During his nightmare, he had been back in that tomb and Alexander had been staring at him with dead eyes. "You…" He gasped for breath, shivered, and then latched onto Alexander. He forcefully wrapped his arms around Alexander and refused to let go. "You were dead."

"You had a nightmare, Hephaestion. I am here now, am I not?" Hephaestion had a crushing hold on him and Alexander fought to draw in his next breath. "Could you loosen your hold just a little, Hephaestion?" 

Realizing his hold was keeping Alexander from drawing in oxygen, Hephaestion loosened his hold slightly. "I don't understand… How can you be dead one moment and alive the next?"

"Bagoas, do me a favor and light one of the lamps." Maybe Hephaestion would calm down further if his lover had a good look at him. 

Bagoas had to let go of Hephaestion in order to do that. He left the bed, switched on one of the lamps on the night stands, and then sat down on the edge of the bed so he could watch them. His instincts were telling him to keep his distance; this was something between Alexander and Hephaestion. 

"See? I am here and I am alive." Alexander pressed the palm of his hand against Hephaestion's cheek and stared deeply into those pools of teary eyes. "I am here. I am alive."

Hephaestion calmed down, now that it was obvious that Alexander was alive and well. "What is wrong with me?" 

"You had a nightmare… Give it time, Hephaestion. I mourned your death until I died myself – at least I had some time to accept and deal with your passing." Alexander wished they had never visited their tomb and that they had left the past undisturbed. 

Bagoas nodded his head once. Alexander had everything under control and this was one situation his presence wasn’t called for. This was something Alexander and Hephaestion had to work through together. "I will be in the living room, should you need me." He only mouthed the words as he didn't want to disturb the peaceful quiet that had now descended onto the room. 

Alexander nodded once to show he had understood and then turned his attention back to Hephaestion. Bagoas snuck out of the room and Alexander realized it was now up to him to find a way to deal with Hephaestion's emotions. Hephaestion had taught him the importance of verbal communication, but this was one situation where Alexander wondered if talking would help. Maybe more drastic measures were needed in order to reclaim Hephaestion's sanity. 

Feeling Alexander's lips press against his made Hephaestion gasp in surprise. Alexander locked his lips in a passionate kiss and Hephaestion could do nothing less than reply in the same manner. He parted his lips and teeth and allowed his lover inside. 

Alexander immediately took advantage and deepened the kiss. At the same time, Alexander slid the palms of his hands along Hephaestion's flat abdomen and toward his lover's groin. Life started to return to his lover's sapphire eyes and, feeling encouraged, Alexander pushed the sheet aside, so he had unlimited access to his lover's body. Hopefully this was the right way to reclaim his lover. 

Hephaestion sighed and stared trustingly at Alexander, who then released his lips. Alexander rolled him onto his back and Hephaestion complied, even parting his legs in welcome. Alexander felt warm and heavy atop of him and his lover's closeness worked like a soothing balm to his wounded soul. 

Alexander took a moment to admire his lover's body and then moved lower until he was kneeling between Hephaestion's parted legs. He placed his hands atop Hephaestion's abdomen and merely stared into the blue eyes, reconnecting their souls. 

"Alexander…" Hephaestion raised his hips, trying to show his need in a way that surpassed the use of words. "Alexander…" He was becoming alive again under Alexander's touches and those hands now stroked the insides of his thighs, teasing him into submission. 

Seeing Hephaestion squirm for more urged Alexander into action. Leaning forward, he pressed kisses onto Hephaestion's abdomen. His tongue popped out and lapped its way down to his lover's member, which had hardened under his caresses. "I am here… I am alive… and so are you." After uttering those words, Alexander closed his lips over the head of his lover's erection and suckled the hard flesh until Hephaestion thrust forward and released a choked yelp. 

Hephaestion lifted his hands and buried his fingers in Alexander's long, fair hair. With each touch that Alexander bestowed onto him, he began to feel more like himself. The dreadful memories were chased into the far corners of his mind and his love for Alexander burned like a red-hot flame in the pit of his stomach. "Please…" he whispered, knowing Alexander would understand what he was asking for. 

Alexander nodded his head once, reached for the lubricant which they now always kept near the bed, and uncapped the tube. He squeezed a large amount onto the palm of his hand and then stroked his erection a few times, covering his cock with the lubricant. 

Hephaestion had eyes only for Alexander and his gaze never shifted away from his lover's face. He needed to stare into his lover's eyes – which were alive and not dead like they had been in his nightmare. "Take me!" He felt an all-consuming urge to surrender to Alexander, to be possessed, and his lover didn't deny him. Alexander sheathed himself in one fierce thrust and then lowered himself onto Hephaestion. "Yes, like that!" Alexander knew exactly what he needed and Hephaestion savored feeling his lover's cock nestled so deep inside him. He didn't want their lovemaking to be gentle – he wanted to *feel*. 

Reading Hephaestion's needs correctly, Alexander grunted and gave his lover a passionate look. "You are mine," he growled as he executed another deep thrust. "Never doubt that – mine." There had been times when Hephaestion had craved being taken in such a possessive way and Alexander wasn't surprised to find that Hephaestion now needed him in that way. This was Hephaestion's way of convincing himself that he was real – that he was still alive – and he understood Hephaestion perfectly. "Mine!" A throaty growl accompanied his next thrust and Alexander set an almost grueling pace in which the head of his cock ruthlessly battered against Hephaestion's prostate. Their climax would be quick and intense. 

Hephaestion met each of Alexander's thrusts and latched onto his lover's neck so he could sink his teeth into the skin there. 

Feeling Hephaestion bite him made Alexander growl even harder and he 'punished' his lover by taking him even harder.

Hephaestion reached his climax first. Unable to keep back any longer, he found release with Alexander lodged deep inside him. His eyes widened and he panted hard now that his inner muscles were contracting around his lover's length – it felt divine and it made him feel alive.

Alexander collapsed atop of Hephaestion and pressed him down into the mattress. Putting his remaining strength in his last thrust, he whipped his hips forward and tried to crawl even deeper inside his lover's body, but then the contractions started and forced him toward orgasm. Lifting his head, he gazed deeply into Hephaestion's eyes and claimed his lover's lips in a bruising kiss. He actually tasted his own blood on Hephaestion's lips.

"Alexander…" Hephaestion's voice was nothing more than a whisper when Alexander finally released his lips from his crushing kiss. Alexander's touch had chased away the nightmare, his fears, and the horrible realization that his lover had died all those years ago. Oh, the memories were still there and he would need time to work through them, but now the mourning process could start in a way that would help him heal. 

~~~

Bagoas pulled up a chair, sat down, and opened the chest. Looking inside, the first thing he saw was a large amount of letters which Alexander and Hephaestion had written each other throughout the years. He carefully placed them onto the couch and decided not to read any of them – their content was private and meant for Alexander and Hephaestion's eyes only.

Next his fingers encountered something soft and a smile formed on his face as he recalled how good the lion's fur had looked on Alexander whenever the King had worn it. Alexander had killed this lion himself, had thrown his spear into the animal's chest, and had carried away the scars that proved he had personally made the kill. After caressing the fur for a moment, he placed it aside as well.

A lump of emotions formed in his throat as he saw a small oil painting beneath the fur. It showed a young Hephaestion who was smiling in an adoring way. Yes, he remembered this painting very well. Alexander had always tucked it away in his luggage, no matter where the King had gone.

A small jewelry box appeared and Bagoas lifted it from the chest. Opening it, he already knew what he would find inside. This jewelry had belonged to Hephaestion and Alexander had been unable to part from it when his lover had died. Inside, he found five rings, most of them made from silver and precious gems, a gold necklace and the two circlets Alexander had given Hephaestion. Bagoas still remembered Alexander telling him that he had given the first, the golden circlet to Hephaestion just after they had become lovers. The second one had been a gift from Alexander to Hephaestion on the day of his marriage. Both Hephaestion and Alexander had wanted to sire children and that was the sole reason they had gotten married to their wives.

He reverently closed the box and placed it next to the lion's fur. More fabric appeared and he instantly recognized Hephaestion's favorite cloak, made from animals' fur. Alexander had worn it after Hephaestion had died as the cloak had still carried his lover's scent. Bagoas released a deep breath; he finally realized just how deep their love had been – even back then. /Their love was strong enough to find themselves again in this life. It is strong enough to include me, when it would have been so easy to dismiss me. They didn't have to take me in./

Something white beckoned him from deep within the chest and a smile formed on his face as he retrieved the plume of white feathers that had adored Alexander's helmet once. It had made him stand out, had made Alexander a target, and yet, he had always worn it, wanting his men to see that their King was fighting at the front line.

He had almost reached the bottom of the chest, but some items still beckoned him to notice them. One was a sword, which he had seen Alexander wield on occasion. Even after all these years, the blade remained sharp and Bagoas was careful not to cut himself. Another item was a much-used edition of the Iliad and Bagoas vividly remembered the passion with which Alexander had tried to teach him Greek, so he could read the Iliad himself.

The last remaining item was one last letter, which Bagoas respectfully lifted from the bottom of the chest. This was the letter Alexander had inquired about when they had been driving to Troy. This was the letter that held a thick braid of Hephaestion's hair. 

Overcome with emotion, Bagoas simply stared at all the items displayed on the couch. He stopped fighting his tears and cried softly.

~~~

Alexander smiled at Hephaestion. The blue eyes were lucid again and the nightmarish memories seemed to have retreated. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, although I still feel a bit shaky." Hephaestion's head rested against Alexander's shoulder and he lifted his head in order to return his lover's questioning gaze. "You making love to me in that way was exactly what I needed." During their first life, Alexander had possessed him many times and he had savored each of those moments. "You seem rather unaffected by our visit."

Alexander shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know how I feel about visiting that tomb and I had you to worry about. I almost suffered a heart attack when you had that break down." Alexander's fingers traced the outline of Hephaestion's bottom lip. "You have no idea just how much I tend to lean on you. You are my strength and when you crumbled… I was afraid I would disappoint you, but I couldn't let you down, so I tried being there for you the best way I could."

"You did well, Alexander." Hephaestion deeply inhaled their mingled, musky scent. "And I feel better."

"We will never go back there, Hephaestion. I promise you that." Alexander continued to study his lover as he wanted to be absolutely sure that Hephaestion had successfully dealt with the shock he had suffered. "We will let the past rest."

"Do you think that is wise?" Hephaestion smiled reassuringly at seeing Alexander's startled expression. "Don't you think the world deserves to know your remains survived?"

"Do you want for them to put me on display in a museum?" The very thought made Alexander cringe.

"Yes, people should be able to look at the face of the greatest conqueror who ever lived. Your legend remains, Alexander. They haven't forgotten about you. Each day historians are busy trying to uncover more facts concerning your life. Can we be so selfish as to keep this knowledge to ourselves? Do we have the right to do that?"

Alexander shook his head. "I can't believe you actually said that!"

"Think about it. You don't have to make a decision right now. Just promise me that you will think about it." In this life time, Hephaestion had primarily been a scholar and as a scholar he knew that the discovery of Alexander's remains would rock the world of many historians. He didn't want to keep this knowledge from them, or the public. The world had a right to know that Alexander's body had withstood the test of time!

"I don't want to think about my corpse right now," Alexander said decisively. "Not after just making love to you." Hephaestion's sudden calm and rational thoughts surprised him. He had thought that his lover would be unbalanced a bit longer, but apparently Hephaestion was already bouncing back. /Thankfully. I wouldn't know what to do without him./

"That felt wonderful – the way you took me." Hephaestion purred and rubbed his cheek against Alexander's shoulder. He sobered a moment later though as Bagoas' absence finally registered with him. "Where's Bagoas?"

"He went into the living room. I guess he knew that we needed a moment alone." 

"Then we should join him."

"Are you up to getting out of bed? You were rather unsteady on your feet when we returned home." Alexander watched with concern how Hephaestion freed himself of his embrace and pushed himself upright. "Go slow."

"I am doing much better," Hephaestion replied as he pushed himself to his feet. He swayed, but only for a moment, and then drew in a deep, steadying breath. "I still feel weak."

"You shouldn't overestimate yourself just yet. You suffered one hell of a shock." Alexander joined his lover and together they made their way into the living room where they found Bagoas staring at the items which he had removed from the chest. 

"What's all this?" Alexander blinked and then sat down on the couch to study the recovered items. His hands shook as he located the letter that held the braid with Hephaestion's hair. "Oh, look at this."

Bagoas had composed himself again and managed a weak smile. Crying had done him good as it had offered his emotions a way out. He felt at peace with himself and the world and that was such a strong and amazing feeling that it made his heart beat just a little lighter. "Before I forget…" While Alexander and Hephaestion examined the items he had just uncovered from the chest, Bagoas rose from his chair, and collected his coat. "I cut these off when I was inside the tomb." He handed Alexander the three locks of dark-blond hair. "They are yours."

"Is that my hair?" Well, technically it was Alexander the Great's hair.

"I thought you might want to have it." Bagoas still couldn't explain why he had cut the hair off. 

"May I…?" Hephaestion's voice drifted off as he reached for one of the strands.

Alexander placed one lock in the palm of Hephaestion's hand. "You are more than entitled to have one." 

Hephaestion fingered the strands and tears appeared in his eyes. "I will always treasure this gift."

Alexander wrapped the rest of the hair up with Hephaestion's braid and then sealed them safely inside the letter. Smiling brightly, he picked up one of the circlets and placed it onto Hephaestion's head. "Do you remember the day I gave you this one?"

"It was after we made love for the first time." Hephaestion was amazed that he could still blush because of that memory. 

Alexander nodded once and then ran his fingers across the furs of Hephaestion's cloak. "I used your cloak to keep warm in those last few days of my life." Like back then, Alexander now wrapped the furs around his body. "It is amazing that they haven't fallen apart throughout the years."

"Bagoas…" Hephaestion swallowed hard, seeing the still damp eyes. It was obvious that his younger lover had been crying. "Is there nothing…"

Bagoas shook his head. "I rescued these." He uncovered his circlet and the ankle bracelets from a pocket. "Alexander gave these to me…" He put one of the ankle bracelets around his ankle and smiled at the soft, ringing sound the metal made. "I am at peace, Hephaestion. This time it is *you* who needs to heal."

"You are right." Hephaestion rested a hand on Bagoas' shoulder and smiled at him. "You have grown very wise, my love."

"Only thanks to you." Bagoas curled his fingers around Hephaestion's hand, lifted it from his shoulder, and pressed a kiss onto its back. "Only because of you."

TBC

Part 4

The next few days, Hephaestion remained distant and much too quiet as far as Alexander was concerned. No matter how hard Bagoas and Alexander tried to distract him, it just wouldn't work. The haunted, almost dead look would still slip into the normally vivid eyes and remind Alexander of the break down Hephaestion had suffered at his tomb.

Growing restless because of the guilt that now tormented him, Alexander decided it was time for more drastic measures. He couldn't let this continue. He needed to take care of Hephaestion in a way that showed his love and dedication to his lover. Ever since they had been reunited in this life, Hephaestion had been the one to support him – and to support Bagoas as well – and now the tables were turned. Now, Hephaestion needed his lovers to be there for him. 

Alexander deemed the time ready to take action, but in order to discuss this in private with Bagoas, he needed a moment alone with the younger man. That meant he had to give Hephaestion a reason to have to leave the room. 

Casually, Alexander strolled over to Hephaestion and squatted behind the couch. He rested his arms on top of the couch and studied his lover closely. Peritas, who had been asleep with his head propped up on Hephaestion's thigh, lifted his sleepy eyes to find out why Alexander was disturbing his sleep. 

"Why don't I fill up the bath tub for you? Maybe a nice, long, hot soak will do you good?" Alexander ran his fingers through Hephaestion's hair and gave him a charming smile. "What do you think of that?" The look in Hephaestion's eyes told him that he had hit the bull's eye. Hephaestion loved to soak as much as Bagoas did, but seldom indulged himself in that way.

"Sounds good." Hephaestion had been dozing a bit. His system had taken quite a shock the other day and he was still recovering from being confronted with Alexander's remains. Each time he had managed to fall asleep, his dreams had turned into nightmares. In his nightmares, he was back in the tomb and staring at Alexander's face inside the sarcophagus. "I like that." He raised his hand to caress a strand of Alexander's shoulder length hair. He just had to prove to himself that his lover was alive. 

"Add some bath oil," Bagoas suggested before adding, "Make him smell of roses."

Alexander chuckled. "Or lilies!" The teasing worked and a smile surfaced on Hephaestion's face. Alexander leaned in to press a chaste kiss onto Hephaestion's brow and then disappeared into the bathroom to fill up the tub. He emerged again a few minutes later. "All is set. Enjoy the soak." 

Hephaestion pushed himself to his feet and gave Alexander a peck on the cheek as he passed him by. "Thank you."

Alexander caught him around the middle and kissed him passionately. Claiming Hephaestion in such a passionate way the other day had helped Hephaestion reclaim his sanity, but the ugly memories were still there – lurking just beneath the surface.

"I love you," Hephaestion whispered once Alexander released his lips from the bruising kiss. He needed Alexander the most right now and Bagoas seemed to understand that, as the younger man was giving them the time, privacy, and opportunity to confirm their love again. Hephaestion loved Bagoas even more for being so considerate. It showed just how much Bagoas had changed. He cast a last look filled with longing at Alexander and then stepped into bath room to enjoy a long soak.

Bagoas, who had been watching Alexander with interest, realized something was up and he wondered about his lover's plans. "Alexander? You might think that was subtle, but it wasn't, really." Hephaestion's depressed mood affected him as well and he would do everything he could to help lift it, but he also realized Hephaestion mostly needed time – time, and Alexander's closeness. "Give him the time he needs to mourn your death. Don't rush him." 

"I don't plan on rushing him." Alexander made certain that the bathroom door was closed so Hephaestion couldn't hear them before adding, "I want him to have the time he needs to go through the mourning process, but I hate seeing the pain he is in. He is brooding."

"And you want to change that."

"I can try. Do you know of a way to distract him?" Alexander walked up to Bagoas and came to a halt behind the younger man. Looking at the screen of Bagoas' laptop, he saw it showed the tour dates of 30 Seconds to Mars. "Hephaestion mentioned wanting to see that band, didn't he?" From somewhere inside the laptop, the band's music played softly. Alexander even recognized the song. It was called "From Yesterday" and was one of Hephaestion's favorites. He cringed as a picture of a very bald Jared Leto appeared on the screen. "Why did he have to shave off his hair?"

"Because he is working on a new movie." Bagoas sympathized though, he liked the way Jared looked with longer hair better as well. Hephaestion had once accused them of having a hair fetish and he reckoned Hephaestion was right; all three of them had a thing for long hair. Recalling Alexander's question, he checked the tour dates. "They are touring in the United States right now." Bagoas still wasn't looking forward to having to fly again, but he would face his fears for Hephaestion. "I could book some tickets if you want to." Bagoas looked up to study Alexander and watched him nod. They were both doing this for Hephaestion. /I don't really want to fly, and Alexander can do without seeing the band perform./ But they were putting Hephaestion's needs first, as they should.

Alexander thoughtfully nodded his head and continued to study the list with tour dates. "We can do that." Scanning the names of the cities the band would play at, he said, "I don't want to go to a huge place like Los Angeles, though." 

"Where would you like to go? Once you know where you want to go, I can check if there are still tickets available." Bagoas remained patient and waited for Alexander to make his decision, but his thoughts drifted off once more. Like Alexander, he felt guilty for not noticing Hephaestion's distress earlier when they had been in that tomb. The two of them had been excited and focused on the find and had forgotten to see what kind of effect seeing Alexander's corpse was having on Hephaestion. /This is also my fault. I should have stopped them./ He should have tried harder to stop them! /But that is nonsense./ Looking at Alexander, he knew, /There is nothing that could have stopped him from visiting his tomb./

"How about Tucson?" Alexander nodded his head again. "Check the venue at Tucson." Yes, this might work. This way, Hephaestion would get to see the band play, and he could start his little scheming. /They don't need to know what I am up yet. If I do this right, I will have my way as well./

"Shouldn't we ask Hephaestion's opinion in this matter?" Bagoas suddenly wondered how Hephaestion would react to finding out that all decisions had been made without him. 

"Maybe…" Alexander's gaze shifted from the screen to the bathroom door. Resolutely he made his way over there and entered the bathroom. Bagoas was right – to some extent. He should ask for Hephaestion's opinion, but he would only listen to it if it suited his purposes.

Hephaestion, covered in foam, looked up in surprise. "Alexander?" The warm water hugged his body and had made it easier for him to relax. The tension had left his sore muscles and he now only felt tired – so very tired – and he wanted nothing more than to sleep. He had actually almost dozed off when Alexander had so unexpectedly entered. 

Determined to pique Hephaestion's curiosity and to keep him on edge in that way, Alexander stated, "I had an idea." Alexander leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. Oh, he would do anything to be that little piece of foam sliding down Hephaestion's nipple! Damp hair framed Hephaestion's handsome but exhausted-looking face and made him even more desirable in Alexander's eyes. If only he could make the pained expression in those eyes go away!

"You had an idea," Hephaestion repeated, wondering what had gotten into his lover. Thoughts of peaceful slumber had deserted him due Alexander's unexpected arrival jolting him fully awake. 

A moment later, Bagoas also appeared, dragging a chair behind him. He placed it next to the bath tub, sat down, opened his laptop, and looked at Alexander. "Tucson it is?" Hephaestion's surprised expression told him that Alexander hadn't updated their lover yet and he patiently waited for Alexander to take charge of the situation.

"Tucson? Why are we speaking about Tucson? Someone please tell me!" What was going on here? Hephaestion blinked and wondered what Alexander had come up with this time. And why were both of them staring at him so expectantly? 

"You mentioned wanting to see Jared's band play and they are touring the States right now," Alexander explained, enlightening his lover. "They are also playing at Tucson… We could go there and watch them perform."

This news was utterly unexpected. Yes, he had mentioned that he would like to see them in concert, but as Alexander hadn't shared his enthusiasm, Hephaestion had decided they wouldn't go see them. /They are doing this for me,/ he realized. /They are doing this because they know that I want to go./ Hephaestion's gaze shifted to Bagoas. "But what about you? You are afraid of flying!" 

"I will get over it." Bagoas gave Hephaestion a reassuring smile. "We got tickets to their show there," he announced in a proud voice. He had learned a lot since Hephaestion had gotten him his very own laptop and making an online reservation was no longer a problem. "But we will need plane tickets as well."

"Alexander… Bagoas…" Hephaestion shook his head. "You can't just do this!" They had just gotten back from Troy and Hephaestion knew Alexander and Bagoas wanted to stay here – this was their home. 

"Why can't we, Hephaestion? Bagoas has his papers now and can fly. We want to go. We already have tickets to the show, so what's the problem?" Alexander studied Hephaestion extensively and then realized something very important about his lover. "Why won't you let us take care of you for a change? What's wrong with putting your needs first for a while? Do you have any idea how much you did for me? For Bagoas? How much we owe you? How much we want to take care of you? Give us this chance to show you just how much we care – just how important you are to us." Hephaestion blushed and seeing that made Alexander smile in turn. "I like it when I can take care of you." 

Bagoas added in a thoughtful voice, "It's true, Hephaestion. You don't have to be the strong one the entire time. Sometimes you can lean on us. You made us strong – strong enough to care for you when you need us the most."

Hephaestion's blush deepened further. "I am not used to being cared for in such a way." Alexander might not realize it, but Hephaestion had felt like he had to be the strong one in their first life as well. Alexander might have been King, but Hephaestion had been responsible for the King's sanity. Allowing himself to feel weak – to feel he needed Alexander and Bagoas in turn – was hard on Hephaestion. 

"We can't be strong all the time, Hephaestion. Not even you can be strong your entire life. You can let go. We are here to catch you." Sensing Hephaestion's discomfort at being so vulnerable, Bagoas opted for some teasing to lighten the mood. "I reckon even Alexander likes being fussed over at times."

Alexander let the remark go and continued to focus on Hephaestion. "I like taking care of you, you know," he whispered as he ran his fingertips along Hephaestion's jaw line. "This is the first time that I am actually emotionally balanced enough to do that for you." The look Hephaestion gave him spoke of unconditional love and trust, and seeing it, made him smile. He was grateful that he had learned his lessons so well for now he was able to reveal a side of himself he had never known existed. And the best thing was that Hephaestion benefited from his change.

"It is all right if we fly out tomorrow evening?" Bagoas' fingers hovered above the keyboard as he awaited their answer.

"That is fine with me." Alexander was still caressing Hephaestion's face and now his lover leaned into the touch and rubbed his face against the palm of his hand like a big cat. "Get us tickets, Bagoas."

"Done." Bagoas cocked his head. "All we now need is a place to stay." He googled "Tucson and hotels" and came up with a long list of places to stay. "How am I supposed to make a choice here?" He decided to take his time and checked out most of the hotels until he found one he really liked. "Let's see if they still have any vacancies." It was a good thing that they didn't have to worry about the money to finance all of this.

"Why are you doing this?" Hephaestion asked while still rubbing his face against the palm of Alexander's hand. "You didn't want to go the other day."

"I want to go because you want to go." Alexander drew in a deep breath and then added, "I want to see you happy again. I want you to forget… to soften the blow you suffered the other day."

Hephaestion gave Alexander a beatific smile. "You must really love me."

Alexander replied in his very own way by kissing Hephaestion passionately. "You had better believe that."

"Done! Everything has been taken care of! We are flying out tomorrow at six PM." Bagoas closed his laptop and watched Alexander kiss Hephaestion. He didn’t begrudge them the kiss; they needed these moments together. 

~~~

"Alexander, I can help!" Frustrated, Hephaestion watched Alexander pack their suit cases. He had offered to help, but had been banned to the couch by both his lovers. They felt he should rest instead of help. "And why are you packing *that*?"

At hearing Hephaestion's odd tone, Bagoas turned his attention away from his laptop and to Alexander. Alexander had removed one of their love letters from the bundle and had placed a lock of blond and auburn hair inside. "Is that your hair?"

"And Hephaestion's." Alexander had divided the thick braid into three thinner ones and one of them he had twirled around a lock of the hair which Bagoas had cut from his corpse. 

"Yes, why are you doing that?" Bagoas understood Hephaestion's curiosity. What was Alexander up to? Alexander's change in attitude was remarkable. At first, Alexander hadn't been interested in watching the band play and now Alexander was impatient to leave. Just what was going on in Alexander's head? And did he want to find out?

"You will find out in time, but not just yet." Alexander grinned and stuffed the letter safely between his shirts. Opting for a distraction, he said, "Hephaestion, I have been thinking."

"Oh, the gods helps us… Alexander has been thinking," Bagoas deadpanned.

Hephaestion chuckled and ignored the glare Alexander shot Bagoas at hearing the younger man's words. "What have you been thinking of then, Alexander?"

"I have been thinking about what you said… that historians, scientists and the public have a right to know that my remains survived. Maybe I will let them know where they can find me – well, my remains, that is."

Hephaestion arched an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

Alexander nodded his head thoughtfully. "Why not?" What had made him reconsider was the fact that the scholars would also find that love letter which he had been holding in his hand during his dying moments. The content of that letter might change the way they perceived the part Hephaestion had played in his life. "But it will happen on my terms."

Alexander and Bagoas exchanged a look and thought exactly the same thing: 'Should we feel very worried?'

~~~

"I hate flying!" Bagoas spat the words and dug his fingernails deeper into the armrest. "How much longer is this going to take?" Alexander and Hephaestion had offered him the window seat in the hope that seeing the earth beneath him would calm him down, but he had declined, feeling much safer seated on the aisle. 

"We will touch down in less than one hour. I am so sorry about the turbulence." Hephaestion had long curled his fingers around Bagoas' hand in an effort to soothe the stressed young man. "Usually there isn't that much turbulence. This is an exception."

Alexander, who was seated on the window seat, gave Bagoas a look filled with sympathy. "I am nauseous as well, you know." Maybe it helped if Bagoas knew that he wasn't the only one suffering.

"Thank you," Bagoas replied in a strained voice. "That was just what I needed to hear, Alexander, that you are about to throw up. That makes me feel *so* much better."

"Sorry I said that. I was only trying to help." Alexander curled his fingers tighter around Hephaestion's hand. 

Hephaestion, seated in the middle, was once more busy comforting his lovers. Bagoas and Alexander were nervous and each of them had managed to capture one of his hands. He was back in his role of being the strong one – for now. "All will be well," he offered eventually.

Bagoas' jaw set grimly and Alexander stared ahead of him when the plan bounced about again. *Both* of them hated flying now.

~~~

Bagoas fought the urge to fling himself to the ground in a show of utter relief. He wanted to kiss the precious earth now that they had landed. The pilot had even aired an apology for the rocky landing, but also said that it was the best he could do, considering the measure of turbulence.

"A car!" Alexander patted the roof and gave his lovers a brilliant, thankful smile. "No more flying for now."

Hephaestion slipped into the back seat and made himself comfortable while Bagoas sat down next to Alexander. Promptly, Alexander dropped the map in Bagoas' lap and said, "I trust you to not get us lost."

In the back, Hephaestion chuckled. Alexander didn't need to know that he had screwed up reading the map on purpose some months ago. The map reading had distracted Bagoas from what was going on with the police in Athens. The younger man had been stuck with reading the map from that moment on. 

"You look better," Alexander remarked, as he peeked at Hephaestion from over his shoulder. Now that Hephaestion had something to look forward to he wasn't that prone to brooding any more. 

"I feel a bit excited," Hephaestion replied honestly. He was looking forward to the concert and spending time with his lovers.

Alexander chuckled. "You *do* remember that he is as good as bald these days? Jared, that is?"

"Oh, the hair is already growing back," Bagoas stated. He had seen a recent picture in which Jared was no longer bald. "Turn right at the next junction."

Alexander steered the car in the desired direction and stole another look at Hephaestion using the mirror. It was good to see his lover smiling again. The eyes were no longer that haunted. 

~~~

"Lodge on the Desert? You must be joking." The name of the hotel amused Alexander.

"That's it." Bagoas folded the map and tucked it away. "I had to book two rooms, but I doubt we will actually use the second one." 

Alexander parked the car, opened the door, and got out, eager to stretch his legs. "It looks all right." He walked over to the trunk, opened it, and removed their suit cases. 

The three of them entered the lobby and introduced themselves. They were given the keys to their rooms and made their way over there. Alexander dropped his suit case onto the floor and let himself fall backward onto the bed. "Nice rooms." 

Their room was spacious. Dark beams of wood had been worked into the ceiling and the floor sported tiles on one side and carpet on the other. Huge, luxurious beds, complete with white bed linens smelling of lavender, invited them to stretch out and relax. Alexander wondered if the fireplace in the corner of the room actually worked.

Hephaestion sat down next to Alexander and smiled at his lover. "So, are you coming to the gig with us?"

"Of course!" Alexander pushed himself upright and grinned at Hephaestion. "That's one show I don't want to miss."

"Just what are you up to, Alexander?" Bagoas remembered the letter and locks of hair still tucked away between Alexander's shirts. "Just how are you going to share the whereabouts of your tomb with the world?"

"You are much too curious!" Alexander gave Bagoas a wink. "Patience is a virtue."

"I can't believe you said that!" Hephaestion gave Alexander a look full of exasperation. "You are the most impatient person I know!"

Alexander opted for action, instead of more words, and simply attacked Hephaestion's lips. Silencing his lover that way worked pretty well.

~~~

Dinner that evening was a pleasant and lively affair. Dinner was served on the outdoors patio and the fireplace situated at the center had been lit. It now radiated golden, comfortable warmth, which made Hephaestion sigh contently. In the background a group of musicians played traditional songs softly.

"You should eat some more." Alexander raised his fork and pointed it at Hephaestion's plate. "You barely touched your chicken." Alexander himself was already halfway through eating his steak. Even Bagoas had eaten a large part of his smoked salmon. 

"I keep wondering why you packed that letter and those strands of hair," Hephaestion replied as he sipped his wine and then forced down another piece of the chicken. It wasn't that he wasn't hungry. It was just that night had fallen and, with the shadow of the night, the memories tried to sneak up on him. That was also the main reason why he had opted for water instead of wine: he didn't want the alcohol to make it easier for the ugly memories to disturb his sleep at night. "I doubt it's because of sentimental reasons."

Alexander chuckled, feeling delighted that curiosity was killing Hephaestion as well as Bagoas. "I won't tell you, so stop asking me!"

Hephaestion sighed and resigned – for now. "So when is the concert?" he asked Bagoas, who looked simply beautiful tonight. Hephaestion had always loved Bagoas' exotic beauty and now that the younger man was once more wearing kohl beneath his eyes and striking clothes of radiant colors, his unique beauty shone even brighter. The bracelets Bagoas was wearing sounded like tiny bells whenever the younger man moved, always attracting his attention. 

"Tomorrow night." Bagoas had eaten enough and pushed the plate away from him. Alexander had told them that he wanted to try some desserts and that they should leave room for them. It was a strange thing that he didn't have to watch his diet. Now that he wasn't a eunuch anymore and danced regularly, he was growing muscles. His upper body was already well-toned and his legs had also quickly attained a muscular shape – but never too muscular – he watched that closely. He was a dancer and didn't want to end up looking bulky instead. 

"Do you think we will get a chance to talk to him?" Alexander asked out of the blue.

"Talk to Jared Leto?" Hephaestion raised an eyebrow. "I doubt it." His answer seemed to displease Alexander and Hephaestion wondered just what Alexander had wanted to tell Jared Leto. 

Alexander grew quiet after that, unwilling to give away more of his plans. He checked the dessert menu instead. Tonight, he was going to indulge himself with some chocolate ice cream!

~~~

The following day passed by rather quickly. Alexander insisted they went sightseeing and his lovers gave in. First, Alexander dragged them to see the Rooster Cogburn Ostrich Ranch, which was quite a surprise. Neither Hephaestion nor Bagoas had expected they would be called upon to feed the ostriches and the deer. One of them, a particularly cheeky ostrich, actually managed to bite Alexander in his butt and that concluded the fun. Alexander had pouted and demanded they leave. Hephaestion and Bagoas, doubled over in laughter, had given in and had teased the poor Alexander for the rest of the day with the unwanted 'love nibble'. 

Alexander had done his best to ignore them and had managed to do so quite successfully until Bagoas tried to repeat the little love bite. Alexander swatted him on the ass as repercussion. That got Bagoas’ attention and to Alexander's great delight, the teasing stopped – for about five minutes. Then Hephaestion made his move and tried to bite his buttock. 

Once they had all calmed down from their laughter, it was Bagoas who suggested they go to the Botanical Gardens, judging them a much safer place than the ostrich farm, but after spending a little over an hour there, Alexander got restless and demanded to see something other than flowers. He could put flowers in a vase and look at them if he wanted to admire them. Why would anyone spend hours looking at them? 

Hephaestion restored the peace and, after another hour of Alexander's moping and Bagoas' delighted gasps, they left the Botanical Gardens to grab a bite to eat. 

"I am sorry for ruining your day," Alexander said, repenting his behavior at the gardens. "We can go back and watch some more flowers if you want to." He had seen Bagoas' eyes light up when they had wandered through the gardens and he now felt like a bastard for ruining the visit.

But Bagoas seemed extremely forgiving and Alexander found out why the next moment. "You want to go where?"

"Tucson Mall. I need to do some shopping." Bagoas gave Alexander his sweetest smile. "We are going out tonight, Alexander. We should make an effort to look our best. You could do with some new clothes as well, and so can you, Hephaestion."

Hephaestion arched an eyebrow. "Bagoas?" The younger man was growing more confident with each day. "Are you saying there is something wrong with the way I dress?"

Bagoas quickly shook his head. "Not wrong, but you can do better."

"Do I really have to go and shop?" Alexander cringed. This was even worse than staring at flowers for hours!

"Yes, we do. You want to draw Jared Leto's attention, don't you? Then you have to look your best." Oh, Bagoas knew exactly how to wind them around his little finger.

"He is right," Hephaestion admitted thoughtfully. 

Alexander shook his head and raised his arms to the heavens. "What did I do to deserve this? Give me an army instead! Give me war!"

Bagoas and Hephaestion chuckled – yes, Alexander was going shopping with them!

~~~

"Sit down here." Bagoas had already dressed and was ready to leave, but he still wasn't satisfied with Hephaestion's looks. 

Hephaestion sat obediently down in front of the mirror and resigned himself to being fussed over by Bagoas – who, he had to admit, looked good enough to eat. Bagoas' raven hair danced against the silken shirt he was wearing. Bagoas had taken his time selecting it and the dark brown color made his eyes stand out even more, underlined with kohl as they were. Tight jeans and a long brown coat completed the outfit. 

Bagoas smiled, sensing Hephaestion's eyes upon him. He could easily tell by the look Hephaestion was giving him that his lover liked what he was seeing. "Now hold still." Bagoas applied the kohl beneath Hephaestion's eyes and then admired his handiwork. "That's definitely an improvement." 

Hephaestion had humored him at the mall and had allowed him to choose tonight's outfit. Bagoas felt he had chosen well. He had decided on an all-grey outfit for Hephaestion and the dark and lighter colors created an interesting mix. The long coat he had selected for Hephaestion was made from wool and molded itself to Hephaestion's form. He brushed the auburn hair for a long time until it began to curl a bit and then applied some gel to get the strands in the desired position. "That's it." 

Hephaestion released the breath he had been holding. He had to admit that Bagoas had done a good job – he looked good. "Thanks," he said before claiming Bagoas' right hand to press a kiss onto its back. That left Alexander, who was still getting ready for their night out. 

The bathroom door opened and Alexander stepped inside the room. He didn't feel comfortable wearing these clothes, but Bagoas had assured him that they looked good on him. 

"That color really suits you. I didn't think it would." Hephaestion got to his feet and made his way over to Alexander, who shuffled his feet, betraying his discomfort. The burgundy shirt, made from silk, gave Alexander a warm and passionate look. "You even tried to do your hair."

Alexander snorted and shrugged his shoulders. "I got almost all the tangles out."

"Bagoas?" Hephaestion gave Bagoas a meaningful look and then guided Alexander to the seat he had just vacated. "Sit down."

Bagoas picked up his brush and straightened out the last tangles. "You don't seem comfortable, Alexander."

"I need to get used to the fabric." The shirt caressed his skin and his nipples had been erect ever since he had put it on. Alexander patiently endured the torture Bagoas subjected him to and watched how his hair began to behave under his lover's ministrations. 

"Here." Hephaestion handed Alexander his jacket. 

Alexander waited for Bagoas to hum his approval and, when the younger man finally let him go, Alexander draped the black jacket over his shoulders. He caught a glimpse of all three of them in the mirror and smiled. "I am very blessed to have the two of you." The three of them looked good together, and either together or apart, they would stand out in a crowd. "Methinks Jared Leto will notice us."

Hephaestion gave his lover a long, hard look. Why was Alexander so worried if Jared noticed them or not? He had the feeling that he was in for a few surprises tonight and for some reason that thought worried him.

TBC

 

Part 5

They got inside surprisingly fast and easy. All three of them had expected to be facing a much bigger crowd, but the venue was only filling up slowly. Like Alexander had predicted, they stood out, as the largest group present existed of young girls. "I feel like I am in the wrong place," Alexander remarked as he moved them toward a group of men standing near the stage. 

"Jared is handsome," Bagoas replied, musing aloud. "I can understand why the band mostly attracts young women." And in turn, the three of them were also attracting attention. "They seem to like us as well." He was losing count of the many 'meaningful' looks he was getting.

Hephaestion raised his head and checked out the stage instead, which featured a huge white backdrop with "30 seconds to Mars" written on it. "How much longer before the show starts?"

"We are early," Bagoas told him. "About thirty minutes." He then turned and faced Alexander. "This seems a good moment to tell us what you are up to. I saw you slip that letter into your pocket, Alexander."

"You have been watching me, have you?" Alexander looked predatorily at Bagoas. "Just be patient a little longer."

Hephaestion had long given up on trying to change Alexander's mind and changed their subject. "Bagoas, what do you know about the band?" It was amazing, he mused. Ever since Bagoas had gotten his own laptop, the young man had been researching a lot of things, this band being one of them.

Bagoas cocked his head and ignored the hungry look one of the girls was giving him. "I know that Jared's brother Shannon plays the drums and that their guitarist is called Tomo… Don't ask me about the last name, I can't pronounce it. Their bassist, Matt Wachter completes the line-up."

"And then there is Jared, of course," Alexander said, giving Hephaestion a wink. "Come on, admit it! You want to meet with him too!"

"Contrary to you, my Alexander, I know that there is only a small chance that we will get a shot at talking to him. Why are you this obsessed with getting into touch with him?" Hephaestion kept in mind that Alexander had brought the letter and could draw only one conclusion that made sense. "You are going to give it to him, aren't you? But why?"

Alexander cocked his head and his hair danced against his shoulders – a few strands even teased his face. "You are too smart for your own good, my beloved Hephaestion." He ran a fingertip along Hephaestion's jaw in a teasing manner. "Trust me, Jared will notice us." And then he *would* get his chance of slipping Jared the letter.

~~~

The show finally started and Alexander regretted being as enthusiastic as to take up position at the front of the crowd. They were standing in front of the speakers and were about to be blasted away. He moved away from the stage and found that his lovers were following him. In the end, they found a nice place from where they could watch the show. 

"It's an eternal pity that he cut off his hair." Alexander sighed. "I have seen a large number of pictures of him by now, but he looked best during his time as Hephaestion." 

Hephaestion agreed. "You're right." Looking at Bagoas, he asked, "What do you think?"

"The hair will grow." Bagoas smiled absentmindedly. "The shape of his face is nice, his eyes are gorgeous, and he has a very sensual voice."

Hephaestion's eyes widened a bit. Could it be that Bagoas was more smitten with Jared than their lover wanted them to know? "You don't mind the short hair?"

"It will grow again," Bagoas repeated, stubbornly. 

They listened to the rest of the songs and enjoyed the show, especially when Jared left the stage and moved among the crowd. Hephaestion felt Alexander tense up and wondered if this was it. Was Alexander going to slip Jared the letter now? But Jared didn't come close enough and then returned to the stage. Disappointment shone from Alexander's face and Hephaestion squeezed his lover's hand in an effort to comfort him.

The band then started to play ‘From Yesterday’ and Alexander grinned, hearing Hephaestion softly sing along. He was glad that he had made the decision to see them play, for their performance had returned a certain gleam to his lover's amazing eyes. And with the realization that Hephaestion was happy, the fact that he had wanted to slip Jared that letter became less important. He set his scheming inside and simply savored seeing Hephaestion so happy.

~~~

"They played a good show." Bagoas leaned back in his chair and nursed his tea. They had sought out a bar, which was located near the venue where the band had performed, to get a drink before starting their way back to their hotel. "Jared has an excellent voice."

Alexander had been staring into his beer, but looked up when he noticed the commotion near the entrance. His eyes narrowed in concentration when he saw who had just entered – it was Jared, along with his brother Shannon. Would he get his chance after all?

"Alexander?" Hephaestion leaned in closer as he had grown worried seeing Alexander's sudden distant look. "What's wrong?" He followed the direction of Alexander's stare and found Jared and Shannon seating themselves at a neighboring table. 

Bagoas had also noticed the new arrivals and shifted on his chair so he had a better view. "Alexander, you might get your chance after all." Bagoas blinked, realizing he was being stared at in turn by Jared Leto. "Or maybe I will?"

Alexander wasted no time and adjusted his plan to this new situation. "Bagoas, I want you to slip him this letter and to tell him something."

Bagoas didn't break eye contact with Jared when he asked, "Tell him what?"

Alexander leaned in closer and whispered the words into Bagoas' ear. He would prefer to do this himself, but it looked like Bagoas had captured Jared's attention instead. 

Hephaestion had moved his chair into the shadows, so his face was shrouded in darkness. He watched the two brothers as well, but didn't try to establish eye contact. It would have been nice to talk to Jared about the role he had played in Oliver Stone's film, but he wasn't going to impose himself. 

Bagoas unexpectedly rose from his chair and Hephaestion frowned at the sudden movement. While Bagoas made his way over to Jared, Alexander got to his feet, and Hephaestion suddenly felt himself being pulled to his feet. "Alexander?"

"We are leaving."

"But I thought…" Hephaestion felt perplexed. "I thought you wanted to talk to him?"

"I never did. I merely wanted to make Jared curious and now Bagoas is going to carry out my plan. We should leave now." For one long moment, Alexander caught Jared's gaze and he saw the surprise in those alluring eyes, which reminded him of Hephaestion's. /He can't possibly have recognized me. He doesn't know who I am./ But Jared was still staring at him… but then the gaze shifted and Jared was now staring at Hephaestion.

Hephaestion's heart missed a beat, finally establishing some sort of contact. He smiled tenderly, nodded his head once, and then quickly followed Alexander toward the exit. Bagoas, in the meantime, made his way over to Jared's table and was now leaning forward to deliver Alexander's message.

~~~

Jared felt seldom impressed, but staring into those deep brown eyes made his heart miss a beat. The young man – younger than he was, he reckoned – looked terribly exotic and Jared had a hard time directing his gaze away from him. But he didn't want to be caught staring. He managed to shift his gaze to the right and sucked in his breath, staring at a face with extremely powerful features. Blond hair, brown eyes, and a very determined facial expression made him tense slightly. Realizing there was a third man seated at that table, he tried to pierce the shadows with his gaze, but failed. It wasn't until the three men rose from their chairs that he got his first look of a pair of incredible cerulean eyes. The depth of emotion, wisdom, and understanding that stared back at him made Jared realize that he had happened upon a very unique man. 

"Jared?" Shannon elbowed his brother in an attempt to get his attention. The waitress wanted to take their order and Jared just wasn't reacting. In the end, Shannon ordered for his brother as well. 

Jared only had eyes for the dark-haired beauty that now walked toward him. The eyes, underlined with kohl, seemed to search his soul and Jared's hands grew clammy due to some emotion which he couldn't label.

Suddenly, the other man stood next to him, leaned in closer, and was then whispering into his ear. 

"This is a message from the past, meant for the future. Treat it with respect, my lovely one." Bagoas took hold of Jared's hand and curled the fingers around Alexander's letter. "You have no idea yet just how precious the gift is you are receiving, but if you are determined to find out, you will." Bagoas caressed Jared's face with a fingertip and then stepped away from the two brothers. 

Jared blinked, feeling rather dazed. He could still smell the other man's sweet scent and he finally became aware of the paper edged between his fingers. 

"Hey, what was that about?" Shannon frowned at seeing his brother's dazed expression. 

"I have no idea." Jared blinked in order to clear the cobwebs from his head and then stared at the letter in his hand. Strands of blond and auburn hair peeked out from between the sheets of paper. What had happened just now?

Jared unfolded the paper and caught the locks of hair when they threatened to fall onto the floor. Some instinct made him tightly curl his fingers around them so they couldn't escape again. 

"What kind of language is that?" Shannon frowned; the strange writing seemed to dance in front of his eyes.

"Ancient Greek." During his filming of Alexander he had seen a few examples of Greek writing and he recognized it now. But there was more than just the hair and the Greek words. There was a second, smaller piece of paper hidden away between the folds of the first letter. 

# I want you to have this. If you care enough to have the letter translated, and understand what I am trying to tell you then fly to Athens, call 06246907256, and I will take care of the rest. Only call if you know what you are about to get involved with… 

Alexander #

Shannon's frown deepened as he had read the message as well. "This is some nut case who is obsessed with you playing Hephaestion. You'd better throw it away."

But Jared didn't throw it away. He tucked the paper and strands of hair safely into a pocket and then sat back, thinking… thinking hard.

~~~

"Alexander, you owe me an explanation." They had returned to their hotel room and Hephaestion circled Alexander like he would a prisoner whom he was about to interrogate. "What *are* you up to?"

Bagoas watched the scene unfold with amusement. He had installed himself on one of the king-sized beds, naked as the day he had been born, and wondered who would win the battle of wills which was about to follow. 

"If he is interested in finding out the truth, he will have to put some effort into it. If he does, he will eventually find us." Alexander knew he had to tread careful now that Hephaestion was giving him *that* look. His lover meant business. 

Hephaestion came to a halt in front of Alexander and gave him a long, thoughtful look. "Tell me everything."

Alexander finally came clean and told Hephaestion about the message he had written Jared. 

"You gave him your cell phone number?" Hephaestion shook his head in disbelief. "How could you do that?"

"I want him to contact us!" Alexander had had enough and glared back at his lover. "Hephaestion, he probably doesn't believe we are for real! Why are you overreacting?"

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath and counted to ten. "Alexander, my sweet, rash, stupid Alexander… You added an authentic letter to your message and strands of our hair. If Jared takes this serious – and the gods forbid that he does – then he will take those items to a scientist, who will date the letter and explain to Jared that he has uncovered a treasure. And what do you think will happen then? Do you really think Jared will settle for following your instructions and call you?" Had Alexander any idea what he had done?

"Hephaestion, don't take this so seriously," Bagoas said, stretching his body in a feline way. "Jared probably thinks this is one big joke."

"I hope he won't throw away that letter – or the hair." Alexander already regretted his scheming. He hadn't thought this through. "Are you very angry with me?" He peeked at Hephaestion and gave his lover his most pleading look. "I am sorry." 

Hephaestion couldn't stay upset with Alexander now that his lover had admitted he had done something wrong. He opened his arms and pulled Alexander close. "Just don't do such a stupid thing again, Alexander." 

"I am sorry that I gave away a lock of your hair," Alexander said in a tiny voice. "At least I kept most of the braid at home."

"Alexander… Hephaestion…" Bagoas had moved into a kneeling position on the bed and raised his hands invitingly. "Stop arguing and join me in bed." He knew he oozed sexuality and made good use of it. "Come over here."

Hephaestion knew when he was beaten and sat down on the side of the bed, pulling Alexander with him. "Don't worry about it, Bagoas. I can never stay cross with Alexander for long." The look Bagoas gave him was full of seduction and the heat he was feeling rose to Hephaestion's face. To see Bagoas like this, fully aware of his sensuality, was something he had never witnessed before. Alexander might have seen it during their first life time, but it was new for him. "What are you doing?" he whispered, sounding rather puzzled. 

"I am taking off your clothes, Hephaestion. I want to see you naked. I want to feel your skin against mine." Bagoas sensually whispered the words in his lover's ear and planted a firm kiss on Hephaestion's lips while slipping his shirt down. Feeling Hephaestion's skin beneath his fingertips made them tingle and he exchanged a meaningful look with Alexander. Was Alexander able to read his intentions where Hephaestion was considered? 

Alexander had a fairly good idea what Bagoas' plans were and pressed against Hephaestion from behind. He slipped his arms around Hephaestion's waist and then unzipped his lover's trousers. A pleased and amused sparkle appeared in Bagoas' eyes and the younger man nodded his head approvingly.

Hephaestion experienced something that could only be labeled as sensual overload. Bagoas was in front of him, still kneeling on the bed, and his lover was now pulling him closer. In the meantime, Alexander rubbed himself against him from behind, and his lover's hands were busy pulling down his trousers. 

Bagoas and Alexander maintained eye contact and it helped them maneuver Hephaestion onto the bed while Alexander did away with Hephaestion's restrictive trousers and underwear. 

Hephaestion found himself naked and with Bagoas' arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him onto the bed until he was also kneeling on the mattress. Bagoas' sensual eyes and the dark hair called to him and, feeling helpless to resist this temptation, he buried his fingers in the raven mane. Bagoas carried a scent he hadn't smelled before and he wondered what it was. It was heavy and musky and that fragrance made him horny as hell.

Alexander had realized some time ago that he liked to watch his lovers touch and so he pulled a chair closer to the bed, unzipped his slacks, and sat down on the chair stroking his cock. 

Amused, Bagoas saw Alexander get comfortable. He hadn't realized until now that Alexander was a voyeur, but this fact gave him the chance he had hoped for – he had wanted Hephaestion for himself for a while, and it looked like his wish was about to be granted. "You are so beautiful, Hephaestion, so strong," he whispered as he slid his hands down his lover's chest. The expression in the blue eyes undid him, and Bagoas moaned wantonly, voicing his need. He nipped at Hephaestion's bottom lip, dragged his hand along his lover's erection, and then began a slow stroking motion. 

Hephaestion sucked in his breath sharply. Bagoas had never looked like this before – like liquid sex, and the desire -- no lust – that shone from those brown eyes took him aback. "You are the beautiful one here."

Bagoas chuckled softly and decided this wasn't worth fighting over – not when they could be doing much more delicious things. "Lie down, my love."

Before Hephaestion knew what was happening, Bagoas had pushed him onto his back. The raven vision now hovered above him and strands of long hair danced against his chest. "What are you doing to me?"

Bagoas moved his head just a little, so the ends of his hair teased Hephaestion's nipples into hardness. Yes, this was the first time that Hephaestion saw this side of him, but Bagoas felt confident that his lover would grow used to it. Ever since he had accepted the older Bagoas as a part of him, he had also become more agreeable to the eunuch's character traits and the truth was that Bagoas had liked turning Alexander on in the past. The same thing now applied where Hephaestion was concerned. "I am trying to make you feel good." Bagoas gave Hephaestion a wicked smile and then moved down the trembling body until he reached his lover's groin. Hephaestion was hard and the head of his member glistered with pre-ejaculate. 

Hephaestion gasped for breath now that Bagoas boldly swallowed his cock. "Ba…" He had wanted to stop Bagoas, to tell him that he didn't have to do this. He was still afraid that such an act would bring back bad memories for Bagoas, but the strong suction that his cock was now subjected to was making it impossible for him to think, let alone speak, and he thrust into that sweet mouth, unable to keep himself in check.

Alexander, who had been stroking himself, now stopped. He was too close to coming and didn't want to find release just yet. Instead, he simply watched the raven head bob and Hephaestion thrust. The two of them looked good together. 

Hephaestion's head lolled from right to left and his fingers clawed at the sheet. "Bagoas, I…" He was about to come and didn't think Bagoas was ready to swallow. He still thought of his younger lover as damaged by the abuse he had suffered and therefore fragile. 

Bagoas' thoughts however differed hugely from Hephaestion's. Yes, he pulled away, but only to reach for the lubricant. Hephaestion's uncontrolled thrusts and trembling had told him that his lover was close to finding release and that had made him stop stimulating Hephaestion for now. He wanted Hephaestion to find release in another way. "Roll onto your stomach for me," he ordered in the most seductive voice he could muster and, as he whispered the words into Hephaestion's ear, he also licked the arch and finished by nibbling on the earlobe.

His trembling increased now that he knew what Bagoas' plans for him were and Hephaestion did as he was told and rolled onto his stomach. He parted his legs somewhat and sighed deeply into the pillow when Bagoas coated his passage with the cool lubricant. 

Once he was satisfied that his lover was sufficiently prepared, Bagoas looked at Alexander from over his shoulder and nodded his head once, hoping that Alexander caught on. 

Alexander was already in the process of removing his clothes. He was ready to take part in their lovemaking and had ideas of his own on how to do that. A sharp yelp, coming from Hephaestion, stilled his movements and, enraptured, he watched Hephaestion tremble beneath Bagoas the moment the younger man took possession of him. 

Hephaestion's muffled yelp disappeared somewhat into the pillow, but then he used his considerable strength to push himself onto all fours. 

Bagoas' breath caught, as he watched Hephaestion push himself onto his hands and knees and adjusted to the new position. He was already halfway inside his lover's body and, after shifting closer, he also slid in the rest of the way. "You are tight, my love… You make me feel so good." He placed his hands on Hephaestion's buttocks and massaged them. 

Hephaestion felt like he was going crazy now that Bagoas was inside him but not moving. "Please thrust!" Bagoas had prepared him well; there had been no pain, no discomfort, only desire and lust and now he tried his best to move his hips in order for Bagoas' cock to rub against his prostate, but the trick wasn't working. 

"Someone once said that patience is a virtue," Bagoas whispered, squeezing Hephaestion's buttocks in a teasing way. Well aware of the fact that he couldn't allow Hephaestion's erection to falter, he reached below his lover's stomach and curled his fingers around the slippery cock. 

The touch brought Hephaestion pleasure and disappointment, for he had hoped that Bagoas would stroke his cock, but the fingers stayed in place, keeping him on the edge. 

Alexander had reached for the tube Bagoas had discarded and had coated his cock with the lubricant. He now knelt on the bed behind Bagoas and pressed close so the younger man felt his hardness pressed against his buttocks. "Is this what you want?" One of his fingers already reached for the opening to Bagoas' body and then slipped inside. He had used plenty of lubricant, always keeping in mind that Bagoas had already suffered too much pain in his lives.

Bagoas moaned and quivered at Alexander's touch. "Yes…" Leaning in closer, he rested his upper body on Hephaestion's back and wrapped his arm around Hephaestion for support. His head rested close to Hephaestion's ear and strands of the auburn hair caressed his face. "Hephaestion, I count on you being the strong one right now." He doubted he could muster the strength to keep them upright once Alexander started thrusting.

Hephaestion finally realized what was about to happen and turned his head so he could look Bagoas in the eye. "You hardly weigh a thing, love."

Alexander had removed his fingers and now spread the firm mounds of flesh to bare the tiny opening to his eyes. Squeezing more lubricant onto his cock, he moved closer still. Alexander wrapped his fingers around his shaft, positioned himself at the opening, and then entered Bagoas. 

Moaning now that the pressure was intensifying, Hephaestion realized that their lovemaking had started for real and that Alexander was sheathing himself inside Bagoas. 

Alexander rested one hand at the small of Bagoas' back and slipped the other toward his lover's neck. Once he had a good hold on Bagoas, he pushed deeper inside until he was buried to the balls. "Bagoas…" He whispered the name in surprise and gratitude: surprised that Bagoas took him so easily and gratitude because Bagoas trusted him so much to surrender in such a beautiful way. Alexander vowed that he would never betray that trust and he stilled his movements, giving both of his lovers a chance to grow used to the new situation. 

Hephaestion had flexed his muscles and carried Bagoas' weight, which was draped atop of him. Now that Alexander had fully claimed Bagoas, the younger man's cock in turn was also pushed deeper into his channel and the tip of that hard flesh now rested against his prostate, causing a delightful sensation in the pit of his stomach. "Thrust, Alexander!"

Alexander chuckled and, due to the movement, his cock twitched inside Bagoas' passage. Bagoas groaned and bit his bottom lip as his prostate was teased in turn. Alexander heard that sound and wanted nothing more than to hear Bagoas groan louder. "Like this?" He almost pulled out and then slid home again. His lovers' reactions were instant: they trembled and moans tumbled from their lips. "Or this?" This time his thrust was a little more aggressive and Bagoas' reaction was to hold onto Hephaestion for support. 

Alexander, who was growing into his part, said, "I love seeing the two of you at my mercy." Thrusting again, he slid one hand up the curve of Bagoas' spine and buried his fingers in the black strands. He kept his touch light and never pulled at the hair, but he did put enough pressure on Bagoas' mane to make the younger man aware of just how much they were at his mercy. "You look so needy, so wanton – so damn sexy."

Bagoas quivered and was driven even deeper into Hephaestion's passage with Alexander's next thrust. When he had started this, he had hoped that they would be able to take this to the next level. All three of them were now confident in their relationship and they understood each other, their needs, and their fears.

Alexander finally got fed up with taking them slowly and sped up his thrusts. His hands now encircled Bagoas' waist and he kept his lover in place, so he could aim each of his strokes at Bagoas' prostate.

Bagoas came first. Unable to withstand the dual sensation for long, he buried his face in Hephaestion's hair at the moment of his climax. 

Hephaestion yelped helplessly now that Bagoas' seed flooded his insides. "Bagoas, I need…"

Bagoas, although in the throes of his climax, heard his lover's pleading tone and finally stroked Hephaestion's member – firmly and insistently. A few seconds later, his manipulation resulted in Hephaestion reaching orgasm in turn and the contractions around his member started. Hephaestion managed to milk the last drops of seed from his already softening member and Bagoas moaned pitifully now that Alexander continued to thrust in pursuit of his own orgasm.

Alexander loved seeing Bagoas and Hephaestion abandoned to his thrusts. Hephaestion was about to go down, unable to stay on all fours for much longer and Alexander actually hoped that his lover would crumble. Hephaestion suddenly collapsed and slid onto his stomach, taking Bagoas, who was still inside of him, down with him. Alexander had expected for this to happen and followed suit. Taking them in this position felt even more sublime and he let go of any restraints, fears and doubts he might have had. 

Bagoas bit his bottom lip, drawing a tiny droplet of blood and surrendered to the wonderful feeling of having Alexander possess him so completely. "Yes, have me… have me every way you want… Harder… Harder, Alexander…"

Hearing those words was Alexander's undoing and they catapulted him toward orgasm. He whipped his hips forward and, once he was buried to the balls inside of Bagoas' passage, he let go. His seed erupted from the head and filled Bagoas from the inside. "Mine… both of you are mine." In order to stake his claim, he sucked the skin of Bagoas' throat hard, leaving a passion mark which would remain visible for days. "Mine!"

Bagoas was about to faint due to the intensity of their lovemaking. Being stuck in the middle gave him no room to move and he had a hard time drawing in his next breath. As a result he had grown light-headed. 

Alexander howled victoriously as he filled Bagoas with his seed. "Mine!" His euphoria lasted another minute and then he slowly came down from the adrenaline rush, finally realizing the awkward positions his lovers were in. Once he had sufficiently softened, he slowly pulled out, and drops of seed followed him on the way out, dripping onto Bagoas' buttocks. 

Realizing he was the only one who was still moving, Alexander took it upon himself to care for his lovers, whom *he* had exhausted. He pushed his hands below Bagoas' now still form and rolled the younger man off of Hephaestion's back and onto his side. "Bagoas?" He frowned, as Bagoas had closed his eyes and the younger man's breathing was labored.

"Just give me a moment… to catch… my breath." That had been intense! His head reeled and heaviness settled inside his bones. He simply didn't want to move right now – not even open his eyes.

Alexander grinned impishly and then moved on to Hephaestion. Rolling him onto his side as well, he found the eyes open, but the pupils were dilated and the irises had darkened. They were almost violet now and that sensation made Alexander stare at Hephaestion in adoration. "You loved that." He had seen the color change before, but it only happened when Hephaestion was completely sated. 

"I did. I love it when the three of us make love. It's so powerful," Hephaestion murmured in a heavy, sleepy voice. "And there was no honey," he added teasingly.

Alexander smiled. "We are not using the honey ever again." Alexander continued to smile, recalling the sticky situation they had found themselves in when they had used the honey. Hephaestion's violet eyes had closed and that told him just how much they had worn Hephaestion down. "And all you can think of right now is sleep, so why don't you close your eyes and give in?" Alexander chuckled and ran his hands along his lovers' flanks. It appeared he was the only one who their lovemaking had left invigorated. "I will clean us up and you can doze off while I do just that." 

Knowing he had to be quick, Alexander left the bed, fetched water, washing clothes and towels, and set about cleaning them up. 

Once all three of them had been cleaned up, Alexander stretched out between them. He pulled Hephaestion close and his lover cuddled up to him on his right side. Bagoas made himself comfortable on his left and rested his head on Alexander's chest. Alexander had wrapped his arms around their waists and smiled contentedly at the ceiling. It wasn't long before Bagoas' and Hephaestion's breathing evened out and then deepened, which was a sure sign that they had fallen asleep. 

Alexander, however, stayed awake a little longer and thanked the gods for reuniting them in this life time. This was what he had always wanted: to be happy. In his first life, he had made the mistake of thinking that becoming the King of Asia would fulfill him. Back then, he hadn't seen the true treasure that would fulfill him, but now he did.

TBC

Part 6

"Hello, Jared, it is nice to see you again. So how have you been?" Laeta was the expert who Oliver Stone had contracted to guide them during the filming of 'Alexander' and the Greek professor had taught them a lot about Alexander the Great and the life he had led. Jared's phone call had surprised him and he had given in to his curiosity and told Jared to come over when the American actor had mentioned having come into possession of an authentic looking letter.

"I am fine… Always busy, though." He had three weeks off until the band's next show and had flown out to Athens to see Laeta. During the movie shoot, he had heavily relied on Laeta's knowledge of ancient Greece, and Alexander and Hephaestion in particular. World-wide, Laeta was the leading expert when it came down to Alexander the Great. "Thanks for seeing me on such short notice."

"I rescheduled the class which I should be teaching right now. So what is the emergency?" Laeta gestured for Jared to seat himself opposite his desk and steepled his fingers. His glasses slipped slightly down his nose, giving him a hard and stern look, but Jared knew better than that. 

"I was given this two months ago and I have been wondering about it ever since." Before coming here, Jared had removed the note written in English and he now handed the black-haired and tanned professor the Greek letter and the locks of hair. "I want to know what it says."

Laeta unfolded the letter and frowned at seeing the twined locks of hair. "It looks authentic, but I would have to do some tests to find out if it's real or a fake. I also need a day or two for the translation." The paper felt old between his fingers, but he knew forgers had long learned to make excellent fakes. "Why don't you see me again the day after tomorrow? We will do lunch."

Jared felt relieved now that Laeta had agreed to check on the letter. "Sure, just let me know when and where." He reached for a piece of paper on Laeta's desk and scribbled down the address and phone number of the hotel he was staying in. "Thanks for doing this for me."

"I owe you for portraying Hephaestion the way you did. You played him well." Laeta rose from his chair following Jared's example and shook his friend's hand. The letter looked intriguing and he wanted to get started on it.

~~~

Jared stretched out on his bed and stared at the news bulletin on the TV. A part of him still couldn't believe that he had flown out here to have that letter examined. Shannon had declared him insane when he had announced his intentions to go to Athens and ask Laeta to check on the letter.

So why had he come here? He wasn't quite certain. Yes, the writing looked intriguing and he was curious to learn what Laeta would discover about the strands of hair – that was, if there was something to find.

No, it had been those brown, gentle eyes which had made him place the call to Laeta. Those large, deer-like eyes and the sensual voice which belonged to the stranger who had slipped him that letter in Tucson. Who was he? And would he get a chance to speak with him again? For some reason, those eyes appeared in his dreams and he woke to the sound of that exotic voice. And then there were the other two men. He had seen all three of them leave together, so he reckoned they belonged together. Those vivid blue eyes that had looked at him from out of the shadows had also impressed him, just like the strong features the blond man's face had possessed. There was a mystery there and he wanted to unravel it. 

~~~

The first thing Jared noticed when he sat down opposite Laeta in the comfortable, small restaurant was the feverish expression in the almost black eyes. Frowning, he studied his friend. What had gotten him all riled up?

"Jared, who gave you that letter?" Laeta leaned in closer, dying to hear the answer. Maybe there were more facts to discover, more historic evidence to uncover.

"I was touring in Tucson when a dark-haired man walked up to me. He said something like 'this is a message from the past meant for the future' and slipped me the letter." Laeta's excitement was still growing and the professor was now moving restlessly on his chair. "Why are you asking?" 

"Jared, the letter is real – it's authentic. It was written over two thousand years ago by Alexander the Great and it was addressed to Hephaestion. Do you realize that this is the first *very real* evidence we found that proves the two of them were lovers? It is a love letter, you know. Alexander speaks of his undying love for Hephaestion and even mentions more intimate details, like holding and kissing him. So far, all we had were hints!" 

Jared's eyes had widened during Laeta's speech. "Are you certain that it's real? How can that be? Maybe it’s just a very good forgery?"

"Trust me, when I found out what I was dealing with, I asked several colleagues of mine to have a look and they confirmed my findings – it's real. Do you have any idea how important this letter is? We will have to rewrite history and we can finally give Hephaestion the place he so deserves – at Alexander's side as his mate." 

Jared leaned back into the comfort of his chair. His head spun with all the things Laeta had said. "Did you bring it with you?"

Laeta uncovered the letter and placed it on the table with obvious respect. "Would you consider donating it to the museum? Mankind deserves to know the truth. They deserve to know how deep Alexander's love for Hephaestion ran." 

Jared ignored the question for now as he wanted one more answer. "What about the hair?"

"I can't say much for certain. It is old, just as old as the letter, but I can't tell you whom it belonged to." Laeta shrugged his shoulders. "One might consider the possibility that it's Alexander's and Hephaestion's, but we have no way to verify that."

Jared took the strands into his hand and rubbed the hair with his fingertips. "Did you translate the letter for me?"

Laeta produced the translation and placed the document on the table. "Jared, you have no idea just how important this letter is. Let us have it. Let us study it further and let us rewrite history. Don't keep this to yourself."

Jared gave in. "You can have it for now. Study it, examine it, publish it, do what ever you need to do, but I am not giving it to the museum, or to you. I am lending it to you."

"That's fair enough." Laeta quickly tucked Alexander's letter back into a pocket. "Do you know of a way to contact this stranger who gave you that letter? If you do, contact him. He might be able to supply us with more answers."

Jared was grateful that he hadn't shown the English message to Laeta. The professor might otherwise have already called this 'Alexander'. "I might… I'll let you know if I succeed." Jared collected the translation, and slipped it, together with the strands of hair back, into a pocket. "Thanks, Laeta."

"No, thank *you*." His head still reeled from everything he had discovered. He would publish the letter, and by doing that, he would change the face of history.

Jared rose from his chair, shook Laeta's hand, and headed for the exit. 

~~~

Once he was back at his hotel, Jared sat down and uncovered the message and his cell phone. Two months had passed by since he had first laid eyes on the strands of hair, and during all that time, he had wondered what would happen once he made that phone call. 

It looked like he was about to find out.

Jared punched in the number and waited…

~~~

"Why is your cell phone ringing?" The noise had disrupted his concentration and Bagoas shot the cell phone an angry glare. He had been practicing a new dance and lost his footing while carrying out a complicated move. 

"How am I supposed to know?" Alexander picked up the cell phone and answered the call. "Yes?" The silence echoing back at him made him frown. "Who is this?"

"Jared… Jared Leto. You gave me your number about two months ago, together with a letter and strands of hair."

Alexander's eyes widened. He hadn't thought Jared would follow through. "And now you decided to give me a call? Does that mean you're in Athens?"

"I have been in Athens for a few days now to get your letter examined. It turned out to be authentic and I must admit I have some questions." Jared wondered just who the man on the other end of the line was. Was it the exotic beauty that had slipped him the letter or one of the other two men?

"Ah, so you know it's real?"

"I do… And I placed the call you asked for. What will happen now?"

"Where are you staying? Give me the address and I will pick you up. You can stay with us. There is no reason for you to stay in a hotel when we have a spare room." Alexander cringed. How in Zeus' name was he going to inform his lovers of this unexpected development? How would Hephaestion react? And Bagoas? 

Jared gave him his address and Alexander scribbled it down. "Stay there until tomorrow morning. I will pick you up after breakfast." It was already late and he didn't want to drive during the night. It would also give him a chance to think about the way he was going to prepare Hephaestion and Bagoas where Jared's impending arrival was concerned. 

"You will find me in the lobby. Let's say around eleven o'clock?"

"Sounds good to me." Alexander's face contorted as he realized that Hephaestion had successfully snuck up on him and was now listening in on the phone call. "I will be there."

"How will I know you?"

"I will know you." Alexander terminated the call and kept his eyes lowered now that he felt Hephaestion's knowing eyes on him. 

"Alexander…" Hephaestion sounded exasperated. Had he drawn the right conclusion? "Did you talk to who I think you were talking to?"

"How am I supposed to know who you think I was talking to?" Alexander tried his best to postpone the argument which would follow.

"Alexander, did you talk to Jared Leto just now?" Hephaestion lowered himself on his heels in front of Alexander and placed a finger beneath his lover's chin. Lifting the face, he sought the brown eyes and found his answer there. "You did."

Bagoas listened up, feeling rather intrigued. "He actually called you? Does that mean he took your letter seriously?"

"He had it examined and it proved genuine -- of course. Now he is curious to learn where it came from." Alexander eventually met Hephaestion's eyes and cringed, seeing the tired expression in them. "I wouldn't do it again, you know. I wouldn't give him the letter again, but I did, and now we have to find a way to deal with what has happened."

"If Jared had that letter checked out then it will be published and probably end up in a museum," Hephaestion mused aloud. "I doubt they can do much damage by examining our hair. I just hope that Jared will return it to us."

Alexander wrung his hands and his features contorted. "Hephaestion, I told him I would pick him up tomorrow morning."

"You are bringing him here?" Bagoas blinked. "Alexander, what do you think Jared Leto will think once he meets with us? *We* know who we are – that our souls have been reincarnated. Jared won't believe that. He will think that we have lost our minds."

Alexander wished he had never slipped Jared that letter. "I wasn't thinking."

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath. "You have always been impulsive and it has served you well. It helped you conquer Asia once." Another sigh left his lips and he caressed Alexander's face. "How can I stay angry with you when you look at me like that?"

Bagoas suspected that Alexander knew exactly how to manipulate Hephaestion, but wisely kept quiet. He wasn't going to start world war three. 

~~~

They cleaned and readied the spare room so Jared would have his privacy during his stay. 

When they snuggled up to each other that evening, Bagoas failed to fall asleep, even long after Alexander and Hephaestion had dozed off. 

Hephaestion had been right when he had said that he seemed infatuated with Jared Leto. He didn't know why he continued to think of the actor with those amazing eyes. Maybe it was his still tender age, his hormones, or a subconscious desire to have a fling. /Would I ever cheat on Alexander and Hephaestion? Why would I? They are everything I need… Everything I ever wanted. I would be insane to throw their love away./ 

How could he feel attracted to Jared Leto when he already loved Alexander and Hephaestion? /I have to crush this infatuation. I can't allow it to continue. It's foolish to think of him in that way. It's not like he could ever be interested in me that way and I don't want to risk Alexander's and Hephaestion's love./ He was merely fooling himself by thinking of Jared Leto in a romantic way.

Bagoas' thoughts continued to run in circles for many hours that night and, when he finally managed to fall asleep, it was already morning.

~~~

"And remember to behave yourself, Alexander. You don't want to scare Jared off." Hephaestion affectionately tucked a strand of Alexander's hair in place behind his lover's ear. 

"I will do my best." Alexander leaned in closer and pressed a kiss onto Hephaestion's lips. "I should be back before dinner." Alexander gave his beloved Hephaestion a hungry look and then released his lover's hands. They had decided that, as Alexander had gotten them into this mess, he had to put in the most effort to make this work. Alexander would pick Jared up and introduce him to his lovers.

Bagoas had watched them closely and now followed them over to the car. This was one moment where he didn't want to attract Alexander's attention as he gathered that Hephaestion had the oldest right to say his goodbyes to Alexander first. 

"Bye, Bagoas. Keep an eye on Hephaestion for me." Alexander had noticed Bagoas' distant behavior and wouldn't have it. Leaning in, he deposited a rather chaste kiss onto the younger man's lips. 

"I will." Bagoas smiled radiantly at Alexander for kissing him goodbye.

Alexander released Bagoas and opened the car door when another surprise awaited him. Stretched out on the backseat was Peritas, snoring contentedly. "Oh no, do I have to wake him?"

Peritas woke up due to Alexander's outcry and the loyal, dark eyes fastened on Alexander. No, he wasn't moving. He was comfortable here and he planned on staying here.

"Looks like you will have to take him along for the ride." Hephaestion chuckled.

Alexander shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe I will come across as more reliable with a dog in the back of my car."

Bagoas rolled his eyes. Alexander made a certain impression on anyone he met and Peritas' presence wasn't going to change that. 

Alexander sat down behind the wheel, started the car, and looked at his dog from over his shoulder. "This is your last chance to get out and to be pampered by those two."

"Come over here, Peritas," Hephaestion ordered in an effort to draw the dog out. 

But all Peritas did was to rest his head on his paws and close his eyes. He wished they would stop disturbing his sleep.

"Looks like you just got your answer," Bagoas commented jokingly.

"All right, then you are coming with me." Alexander closed the door and started the car. "We are off to Athens, Peritas."

But Peritas remained unimpressed and continued to snore softly.

~~~

Jared was surprised to realize that he was nervous. He had called Shannon on the phone earlier that day and his brother had once more warned him not to meet the 'nutcase' who had given him the letter. His brother didn't know yet that the letter was genuine and Jared had kept it that way. This was *his* decision to make and for some reason, he wanted to meet this 'Alexander' who had signed that message.

He was seated in the lobby and had chosen a spot from where he had an excellent view of the doorway. He had no idea whom to expect. Maybe he hoped it was the raven-haired beauty who had caught his attention that day, but he somehow doubted he was 'Alexander'. 

His suit case stood next to him and he tapped against it with his foot. Checking the time, he realized his 'Alexander' was late – almost half an hour late. Maybe it had all been one big joke? But then again, this 'Alexander' had sounded genuine when they had talked on the phone. 

Suddenly the door opened and a fair-haired man stepped inside. Jared immediately recognized the man as the one he had seen in that bar at Tucson. He took a moment to really take the stranger in. The blond hair reached the man's shoulders and the brown eyes sparkled with mirth and something that could only be labeled as mischief. The stranger wore a burgundy shirt and black slacks, which looked good on him. The way 'Alexander' looked Jared could tell that this was someone who worked out on a regular bases. 

Alexander scanned the lobby and quickly located Jared Leto, who now rose from the couch. Walking up to him, Alexander extended his hand in greeting. "Sorry that I am late, but there was a traffic jam." 

Jared immediately identified the accent and was surprised to find he was dealing with a fellow American. "I'm Jared." He accepted and shook the stranger's hand.

"And I am Alexander. Is that your luggage?" Figuring he should make a good impression now that he still had the chance, Alexander picked up Jared's suit case.

"Yeah, that's it." Jared wanted to ask a battery of questions, but didn't – not yet. 

Alexander hesitated for one moment, recalling his lovers' words. "You can trust me, you know. I am no insane, homicidal maniac. You will be safe with me." 

Jared couldn't help it: he laughed. "And that's supposed to make be feel safer?"

Alexander had the grace to blush. "My lover suggested I should try to make you feel more comfortable, but I am not good at this. He is the diplomat."

Jared's curiosity was piqued. He followed Alexander out onto the street and asked, "Your lover?"

Alexander cringed. "I actually have two of them." They had reached his car and he put the suit case in the trunk. "I am going to sound so unbelievable."

Jared found the situation highly amusing. He was about to make a remark as he opened the car door, but remained quiet as he saw a dog raise his head and give him a tired look. "And who's that?" 

"That's Peritas – he is developing bad habits in his old age." Alexander slipped behind the wheel and started the car. "The journey home will take us two or three hours – depends on how busy traffic is."

"And where is home?" Jared stretched his legs as far as he could and unbuttoned his long, black coat. It had been chilly during the morning, but it was rather warm inside the car. 

"Near the coast. We bought a cottage there." Alexander wondered how he could have been so stupid as to maneuver himself into this situation. What did he expect? Did he really expect Jared to believe him that Alexander the Great had been reincarnated and that he was it? 

"You said 'we' again. Tell me, I am curious. You did say that you had two lovers."

"Oh, you are not going to believe any of this – you will think me insane… And I can't blame you." Alexander did his best to concentrate on the road. "Jared, do you believe in reincarnation?"

That was the last question Jared had expected to hear. "Reincarnation? I never gave that idea much thought. Why are you asking?"

"Because if you don't believe in reincarnation you will have a hard time believing anything I will tell you." Peritas was now snoring even louder and the sound made Alexander arch an eyebrow. "He sounds comfortable."

Jared was still digesting Alexander's remark. He had reached one hell of a conclusion which he couldn't believe. "Are you trying to tell me that you think you were Alexander in another life?"

"In my first life." Alexander cringed; Jared didn't sound like he was going to believe any of it, but he had to try to make him understand. Maybe it was best if he started at the beginning. "It all changed when I decided to visit Troy and met Hephaestion there…"

~~~

One hour later, they stopped at a roadside restaurant for a drink. Alexander had judged it best to take a break as he had been worried about the expression in Jared's eyes. /He thinks I am mad./ He should have expected that reaction, but for some reason he had thought Jared might believe him. 

Seated at a table in the back, Jared sipped his coffee. The caffeine did its job and shook him from his musings. "And you expect me to believe this? That you're Alexander the Great and that your lovers are Hephaestion and Bagoas?" Was this some sort of mass delusion? Had those three men convinced themselves that they were incarnations of those three historical characters?

"I am not Alexander the Great – I used to be him, though, but I am a different person today. I was a cop until I got shot and I never thought I could have lived before. It all changed that day at Troy when I found Hephaestion." Alexander sipped his hot chocolate – he had grown quite fond of it as a replacement for wine. "I had hoped that the letter would convince you that I am for real."

"The letter's real," Jared said, nodding his head once. "Where did you get it?"

"Bagoas took it from my tomb."

"Your tomb?" Jared's month suddenly grew dry and he quickly took another sip. Deciding to play along, he added, "But Alexander's tomb – or his body – was never found."

"That's because Bagoas took my remains to Troy and buried me there." Alexander leaned back and caught Jared's eyes. "If you don't trust me, I will take you back to your hotel."

In spite of his doubts, Jared felt intrigued. "No, we'll continue. I'm curious to meet this 'Hephaestion'."

"You have seen him before. He stood next to me that day in the bar."

"The one with the blue eyes? They're amazing." And that was quite a thing to say, as most people thought his eyes were pretty amazing as well. "And what about 'Bagoas'?"

"He slipped you that letter." Alexander finished his hot chocolate and eyed Jared closely. 

"That was Bagoas?" Now he could give his dark-haired beauty a name. "And the three of you all live together?"

"And love together. I made huge mistakes in my first life, and so did Bagoas. We wronged Hephaestion in many ways and this is our chance to make amends. I don't expect you to believe any of this, but it's the truth."

"So why did you decide to slip me that letter? Why not Colin Farrell? He played Alexander, you know." 

"I didn't really like him that much in the film. You did much better, portraying Hephaestion." 

This was getting more interesting with each passing minute. "You saw 'Alexander'?"

"I convinced Hephaestion and Bagoas to go. I can be pretty convincing when I want to." Now that Jared still acted calm and controlled, Alexander became a bit more confident that everything might still work out. "Your acting impressed us, and Bagoas thought Francisco Bosch did very well, considering the fact that he didn't have any lines."

Jared shook his head in amazement. "I don't know what to make of you – or any of this."

"Just give us a chance. You don't have to believe anything we will tell you – or the things you will witness, but just keep an open mind. Can you do that? Because if you can't I will take you back to your hotel. I don't want you ridiculing Hephaestion or Bagoas – I love them too much to allow that." 

"I don't know why, but I want to believe you," Jared said eventually. "But you're talking about reincarnation and tombs and… It's much to take in."

"You have time, Jared. We won't pressure or push you in any way. Just promise me that you will treat Hephaestion and Bagoas with respect. They deserve that."

"You love them a lot," Jared commented, realizing that Alexander was serious.

"They are my life, Jared. Without Hephaestion…" Alexander searched for the right words to explain his feelings to Jared. "I don't know how much research you did for your role, but Hephaestion kept me sane. He was the guardian of my soul. I grew up in a dysfunctional family and he was the only one I could trust. Hephaestion… There are no words to describe much I love him."

Jared smiled gently at Alexander to reassure him. "You have a way with words."

"Only because of Hephaestion… He always makes me open up and discuss my feelings…" Alexander gave Jared a hopeful smile. "So do you think you can do this and keep an open mind?"

Jared had always thought of himself as a good judge of character and Alexander seemed trustworthy. He didn't pick up on any malicious vibes when he looked into those old eyes. Either Alexander had truly convinced himself that he was the incarnation of Alexander the Great or… -- and Jared's head reeled even just thinking it – reincarnation did exist. "I'll keep an open mind."

Alexander nodded once. "Then let's leave. Hephaestion and Bagoas are waiting for us and we are already late." Alexander paid for their drinks and the two men returned to the car. Peritas had woken up by now and demanded they took him for a short walk, which they did, as Alexander didn't want his car peed on. 

In the end, they left ten minutes later and Alexander hoped he was doing the right thing in taking Jared to their little cottage.

TBC

Part 7

Hephaestion had been typing away on his laptop when he'd heard the sounds of a car approaching. It could only mean that Alexander had returned – and just as his lover had promised: before dinner time. 

Hephaestion finished typing the message to a publisher he was offering his book on Aristotle to, sent the message, and then closed the laptop. He wondered what Alexander had told Jared so far and if the American already considered them mad. Hephaestion knew how their story had to sound to someone who hadn't been in on the ride from the beginning. 

Rising from behind the kitchen table, Hephaestion cast a look out of the kitchen window and saw that Bagoas was concentrating deeply on his dancing. He decided that warning Bagoas could wait for another minute and headed for the doorway to welcome Jared to their little home. He could only hope that Alexander had handled telling Jared in a good way.

~~~

"This is it. This is our home." Alexander switched off the engine, opened the door, and stepped outside. Peritas was interested in getting out as well and was trying to dig himself a way to the outside by burrowing his nails along the back of the seat. Alexander quickly helped the dog to get out and watched with amusement how Peritas made his way over to Hephaestion, wagging his tail and snuffling in the other man's familiar scent.

Alexander met Hephaestion's gaze and smiled encouragingly. So far, things were going well. 

Jared had stepped out of the car as well and took a moment to stretch. Raising his arms high above his head, he tried to undo the knots that had formed in his back during the three-hour drive. Turning around, he took in the cottage and the man standing in the doorway. A strange sensation swept through him and he was at a loss to identify what he was feeling, but he almost felt magically drawn toward this man. 

Alexander sighed to show his relief and his smile brightened now that Jared was already moving toward his lover. "Jared, this is Hephaestion, my other half."

Feeling a bit nervous, Hephaestion walked toward Jared and extended his hand in greeting. "Welcome to our home, Jared." Now that he had a chance to study Jared from up close, he had to admit that Jared’s eyes were gorgeous and he shared Alexander's sentiments when it came down to the fact that Jared's hair was too damn short. It had started to grow again, but it was still a far cry from the lovely mane Jared had possessed when he had been filming Alexander. "I hope you'll like your stay here."

Jared's eyes narrowed and he studied Hephaestion closely. There was something familiar about the man, but he couldn't say what it was. He accepted the offered hand and shook it. "I'm glad I accepted your invitation to visit… I think." Only a moment ago, he'd still had dozens of questions, but he couldn't remember any of them now that he was looking into Hephaestion's eyes. 

"We readied a room for you so you'll have your privacy." Hephaestion exchanged another look with Alexander. Did his lover know why Jared was looking at him in such an odd way? "I'll show you so you can freshen up a bit before dinner." 

"I'll start dinner." Alexander was looking forward to doing some cooking – that activity always relaxed him. He opened the trunk, lifted Jared's suit case out of it, and handed it to Hephaestion. Directing his attention to Jared once more, Alexander added, "You're in the best of hands."

Jared finally managed a smile. He hadn't realized just how nervous he had felt until a moment ago, when that anxiety had begun to decrease. He had been worried that he had made a terrible mistake in accepting Alexander's offer, he realized. He hadn't known where the hell he would end up and with which people. But he liked Alexander and Hephaestion simply intrigued him. 

Hephaestion gestured for Jared to follow him and he guided their guest to the spare room. "It's no five-star hotel, but I hope it will do." He placed the suit case onto the bed and then turned to face Jared once more. "You're free to leave, you know. Just tells us when you want to go back to civilization and Alexander will drive you to the airport." It was important to him that Jared knew that he wasn't some sort of prisoner there.

"I have two weeks left until my next gig and I would like to spend it here, I think." Jared slowly raised his right hand and let it hover just in front of Hephaestion's face. "Are you really him? Are you really…?"

"Hephaestion? Yes." Hephaestion sat down on the bed and then patted the space next to him. It was obvious that Jared needed to talk and Hephaestion wasn't going to deny him. "I was Hephaestion in my first life – I was Alexander's lover."

Jared's knees almost gave out beneath him and he quickly seated himself on the bed next to Hephaestion. Something Alexander had said came back and he asked, "Did you also see the film?"

Hephaestion nodded his head once. "I did and you portrayed me pretty well. I was pleased with the way you played me and so was Alexander." 

"Did I do it right? Did I capture the essence of your character?" A part of him wondered if he had lost his mind and he reminded himself that he was probably talking to some sort of psychopath who *believed* he was Hephaestion. But what if Alexander had told him the truth and they had been reincarnated?

"Mostly, yes." Hephaestion felt relieved now that Jared didn't think him mad. "Alexander and I weren't always that discreet and it was no secret that we were lovers." He chuckled, recalling a scene from the movie that had annoyed Alexander. "Alexander would never ask me to spend the night with him – he would simply have dragged me inside and made love to me. And I should probably not get started on the balcony scene… I will leave it to Alexander to tell you his opinion about that one." 

Jared found himself smiling goofily. "I told Oliver the same thing, but he was a bit hesitant to have more intimate scenes in the movie."

Hephaestion rose from the bed and smiled at his guest. "Why don't you freshen up? The bathroom is in there." He pointed Jared in the right direction. "Once you are done I will introduce you to Bagoas."

"Bagoas…" Jared had gotten to his feet as well and now gave Hephaestion a thoughtful look. "I don't know that much about him, but the little facts I do know make me surprised to find him here. I thought that Bagoas and you didn't get along?"

Hephaestion shrugged his shoulders. "Bagoas and I had some misunderstandings in our first life. I am glad that we managed to straighten them out in this one."

"And what does that mean?" Jared felt intrigued by all this new information. /I can't believe I'm taking all this for granted – that I actually believe what they're telling me!/ But neither Alexander nor Hephaestion seemed deceitful or mentally unstable to him. 

"Bagoas hated me in his first life. He was insanely jealous of me when he had no reason to feel like that. Things changed in this life – the three of us are lovers now for which I am grateful."

"The three of you are lovers…" Jared repeated the words. "I never understood how threesomes could work."

"This one does." Hephaestion smiled before making his way over to the doorway. "If you stick around long enough, you will find out what the dynamics of this relationship are." 

Jared quickly covered the distance between them and stopped Hephaestion from stepping into the corridor by placing a hand on the other man's shoulder. "Why did you send me that note? Why did you contact me? Why ask me to come here?"

"That's something you need to ask Alexander. It was his idea to contact you. I didn't know what he was up to at the time. His actions surprised me as well." Jared removed his hand and Hephaestion stepped into the corridor. "I have my suspicions as to why he brought you here, but only time will tell if I am right."

"And what are those suspicions?" 

Hephaestion smiled at Jared and cocked his head. "In Tucson Bagoas said, 'This is a message from the past meant for the future'…" 

"I remember those words…" Jared still looked mystified.

"We will find out why Alexander wanted you to know that." Hephaestion wasn't certain he had guessed correctly, but he suspected Alexander would – in time – reveal the whereabouts of his tomb to Jared. And Jared in turn would then reveal his discovery to the academic world. But, he could also be wrong and therefore wasn't bringing any of this up just yet. "I will see you in a few minutes." Hephaestion recalled how fond Bagoas had sounded when they had talked about Jared and he reckoned the younger man would be thrilled to meet Jared.

~~~

"He doesn't appear as shocked as I thought he would be." Hephaestion leaned against the kitchen wall and watched Alexander clean and season the fish they would have for dinner. "He is quite curious, though. Jared wonders why you contacted him and I must admit so am I."

Alexander placed the sharp knife aside and looked his lover in the eye. "It was you who insisted we should tell the world about my tomb."

"You plan to do this through Jared." He had been right then. "Don't you think they will find it odd that it's Jared Leto who found your tomb?" 

"That's not my problem." Alexander seasoned the salmon and heated the pan. "Why don't you let me worry about that?"

Hephaestion walked up to Alexander and wrapped his arms around his lover's waist from behind. "Just be careful. Jared knows where we live. He can bring the press here if he decides to do so."

"That occurred to me as well." Alexander tilted his head and looked at his lover from over his shoulder. "I made another mistake, didn't I?"

"Not necessarily. Much depends on our ability to convince Jared that we are for real."

"Do you have any plans on how to accomplish that?"

"I might have. Let *me* worry about that, Alexander."

The sound of someone clearing his throat made Hephaestion and Alexander look toward the doorway. "Jared, I didn't expect you to join us so quickly." Hephaestion didn't pull away from Alexander. He didn't want to appear embarrassed because Jared had caught him embracing Alexander. Jared would have to get used to seeing them in such an intimate way for he wasn't going to change his ways.

Jared was surprised to feel a smile form on his face. He should feel uncomfortable being in strange surroundings with two men he hardly knew, but he didn't. He felt like he could trust them. "Preparing dinner?" he asked in an effort to make conversation. 

"I am," Alexander replied, "but Hephaestion is distracting me. Why don't you introduce Jared to Bagoas? The last time I saw him, he was working out in the garden."

"I will do just that." Hephaestion placed a kiss on Alexander's cheek, released his lover, and then gestured for Jared to follow him. 

Alexander chuckled as he watched them go. Jared seemed to fit in nicely, which surprised him and, although he liked Jared, Alexander still thought it was a shame that the actor had cut off his hair. He would never get over that.

~~~

Jared's gaze fastened on the gracious form which effortlessly moved over the grass. Long, raven hair danced against the small of the man's back, and when it didn't, it was swirling around Bagoas and creating the illusion of a veil. "I remember him – and his eyes." Yes, this was the dark-haired man who had caught his attention in Tucson. 

"That's Bagoas." Hephaestion knew it was only a matter of seconds before Bagoas would grow aware of the eyes upon him and Bagoas didn't disappoint him. The moment Jared and he came to stop, so did Bagoas after spinning around.

Bagoas had been about to greet Hephaestion when he grew aware of Jared's presence. The actor's blue eyes seemed glued to his form and Bagoas couldn't stop a blush from forming on his face. Jared looked good – looked handsome in his dark-grey jacket and black slacks. 

"Bagoas, you remember Jared don't you?" Hephaestion noticed Bagoas' shy reaction with interest. He had seen the downcast eyes and trembling before – Bagoas had acted like that in their first life whenever Alexander had been praising him. Seeing Bagoas so shy all of a sudden told him a lot. "Jared, this is Bagoas."

Hephaestion's introduction urged Jared into action. He took a step toward Bagoas and extended his hand. "Hello." Having this meeting and addressing Bagoas felt surreal, but he was beginning to easily accept that they were for real. "You're a talented dancer."

"Thank you." Bagoas stared at the offered hand and worked up the courage to shake it, taking several minutes. He hadn't thought he would feel so timid around Jared. 

Jared didn't quite know what to make of Bagoas' reaction. The dark eyes stared at the grass and Bagoas had quickly let go of his hand again. Was Bagoas feeling nervous or did he simply not like him?

"You must excuse Bagoas," Hephaestion commented, intervening, "He can act bashful at times." The glare that Bagoas now gave him caused Hephaestion to chuckle. His remark had served its purpose: it had made Bagoas look up. 

Bagoas composed himself and met Jared's eyes. "I didn't expect you to be here – you took me by surprise."

Jared appreciated Bagoas' beauty – the way the long hair moved against his shoulders and the manner in which those eyes seemed to devour him. Bagoas struck him as very young and then he recalled what Alexander had told him on their drive here. /He's only nineteen./ "I didn't think I would be here either."

Jared's words made Bagoas feel a tad more comfortable and he smiled weakly. "I hope you'll like it here."

"I'm sure I will." Jared returned Bagoas' shy smile. So far, Bagoas intrigued him the most. There was something about the dark-haired beauty that puzzled him – there was a mystery there and he loved riddles. "Will you join us for dinner?"

Bagoas' stomach growled promptly, revealing just how hungry his dancing had made him. "I will."

Hephaestion smiled secretly, seeing their interaction. He hoped that Jared would make some nice company for Bagoas. Bagoas needed more friends.

~~~

Dinner was eaten while easy chatter was going on, something which surprised Jared. He had expected to feel uncomfortable, like an intruder, and worried because he found himself in such an unexpected situation, but none of that happened. He wasn't quite certain yet if he believed their claim that their souls had been reincarnated and that they had been really been Alexander, Hephaestion, and Bagoas in the past, but they seemed 'harmless'. Jared actually felt safe with them. 

After dinner, they chatted about the Oliver Stone film, Alexander the Great's life, and the show Jared's band had given at Tucson. They seemed to like his music, which was another pleasant surprise. It was already midnight when Jared excused himself and retired to his room. 

Sitting down on his bed, Jared shook his head and wondered what he had gotten himself into. He made up his mind and decided to stay here for the whole two weeks before he had to join his band again. He hoped to learn a lot more about these three men during his stay here.

~~~

Jared didn't really know what had awoken him in the middle of the night. He had been asleep one moment and was sitting upright in his bed the next. For one moment, he felt disorientated and had no idea where he was, but then he remembered where he was staying. 

There it was again! A sound coming from the corridor caught his attention and Jared pushed the comforter off of his body. He was wearing a baggy T-shirt, but as it was chilly that night, he also picked up his morning robe and slipped into it. After tying the belt around his waist, he snuck over to the doorway and opened the door. A shadow slipped out of the corridor and, curiosity piqued, Jared followed suit.

~~~

Jared followed Bagoas onto the beach. There was a full moon out that night and its rays made the waves of the sea shine silver. Bagoas, who had left his lovers' bed naked, sat down on the sand. He pulled his knees close to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He rested his chin on his knees and stared longingly at the moon. 

Jared wondered if he should return to the cottage. He had no business coming out here as he barely knew Bagoas, but his curiosity proved stronger and he walked onto the beach. 

So far, Bagoas hadn't realized he had company yet. He was still staring at the waves, which crashed onto the shore, and tilted his head. Although he was sleepy, his worries didn't allow him to sleep. Jared's arrival had stirred unknown feelings in him and he didn't know what to do with them. 

"Do you want to be alone? Or do you want some company?"

Jared's voice startled Bagoas, who flinched when he recognized the voice. Looking up at Jared's form, he gasped. The eyes sparkled and they appeared as silver-blue as the sea. Realizing Jared had slipped into his morning robe before coming out there, Bagoas blushed as he found himself naked. Fortunately he had chosen a position to sit in which didn't reveal any private parts. "What are you doing out here?" He had loved Jared's scent right from the start and the soft, gentle expression in those eyes called to him.

Taking Bagoas' question as an invitation to talk, Jared seated himself on the sand next to Bagoas. "I saw you leave and became curious. Why are you out here?" Calling him Bagoas felt awkward and Jared didn't do that yet. Calling him that would mean admitting he believed their claim to be those ancient souls to be true.

"I couldn't sleep. Alexander was snoring…" It was a half-truth of course. Yes, Alexander had been snoring, but that had never kept him awake before. "I felt like I needed to break free and watching the sea always calms me down."

"It's chilly out here," Jared remarked. "Do you want my morning robe? I still have a T-shirt on beneath it, but you're naked."

"I didn't think of the cold when I left." Bagoas blushed as Jared draped the morning robe across his shoulders. He was about to suggest Jared moved closer, because then they could share the garment, when he became aware of how heavy Jared's scent lingered inside his morning robe. He pulled it close and deeply inhaled it. 

"It's a beautiful night." Jared suspected that something troubled Bagoas, but had no idea what it was. 

"There weren't many nights like this in my first life." Bagoas had no idea what had made him say that.

"So you believe that you were Bagoas in another life time?" Their conviction stunned Jared.

"I know who I was, Jared… and I know what I was."

"Will you tell me?"

"Why should I? Don't you know enough about me anyway? They researched my past when they made the film, didn't they?"

"Much of what was put into that film was speculation, but if you're the real thing, you have a chance to set some things straight now." Jared patiently waited for Bagoas to realize he was being looked at and when the younger man did, those dark eyes met his. "What was your life like, Bagoas?" Hearing him speak that name hopefully convinced Bagoas that he was being sincere.

Bagoas swallowed in an effort to do away with his growing nervousness. Jared was the last one he wanted to share any intimate details concerning his first life with. He liked Jared and was worried that hearing his tale would have a negative effect on the actor. But how could he deny Jared? 

"Imagine being a small boy and seeing your family killed. Imagine seeing your father's body impact nearby and see his head shatter into pieces. Imagine what it feels like to be strapped to a chair and having your testicles cut out. Imagine being sold to customers and being raped, being trained to become a professional whore and for the rapes to continue… Imagine how you would react when you finally meet someone who demands nothing from you… who offers you freedom and love. Alexander did that for me. He set me free and I clung to him – possessively. I wanted him and I had him. I wanted to own him. I was such a brat back then."

Jared had been sucked in by Bagoas' words and momentarily forgot to breathe. 

"I made many mistakes in my first life. I made the mistake to want to own Alexander. Another mistake was that I hated Hephaestion the way I did. He never deserved my loathing."

"And that changed in this life?" Jared was by now convinced that Bagoas truly believed the things he was telling him. Not even the most talented actor would be able to put so much conviction in his words. Tears slid down Bagoas' face, but the younger man made no effort to wipe them away. Bagoas seemed lost in the past. 

"I changed many things in this life. I stopped trying to own Alexander and I allowed Hephaestion's love to heal me. I found paradise here." Bagoas nervously moistened his lips and swallowed, as he tried to rid himself of the obstructive lump that had formed in his throat. "They love me in a way I didn't think anyone was capable of. They don't need me – or my love – but they cherish me and love me back, which is a first. It took me a long time to accept that they really love me."

Jared knew he had to tread carefully, but he still wanted to know. "How do you feel about me coming here? Do you think Alexander made the right decision in contacting me?"

Bagoas shrugged his shoulders once. "I don’t know." He finally wiped away his tears and managed a weak smile. Peeking at Jared's face, he saw compassion in the actor's eyes. "I like you… I like your music… I liked the way you played Hephaestion in the film… For what it’s worth, I am glad you're here."

Jared tilted his head and studied Bagoas' eyes, seeing something there he had seen many times before – Bagoas found him attractive. He had learned to read those signs a long time ago. "Are you happy here with Alexander and Hephaestion?"

Bagoas resolutely nodded his head. "I am… I am very happy. They didn't have to take me in when they found me, but they did."

"When they found you?" Jared frowned and noticed that Bagoas was trembling.

"What happened to me in my first life repeated itself in this life. I was forced into prostitution and lived like a whore for years… I didn't think Alexander and Hephaestion would take me in and accept me, but they did. Hephaestion's love and patience helped me heal." Bagoas was beginning to panic – he had revealed too many painful, personal details to Jared, who now knew that he had been a whore in this life as well. Old shame snuck back into his mind and he jumped to his feet. Pulling the morning robe tightly around his frame, he sprinted off before Jared had a chance to stop him.

"Let him go." 

Jared, who had jumped to his feet, was stopped by Hephaestion. /Where did he come from?/ He hadn't heard Hephaestion approach – and neither had he noticed Alexander's arrival. The blond man had caught Bagoas by wrapping an arm around the younger man’s shoulder and had managed to stop him from running. Jared could hear Alexander talk softly, but since they were speaking in Greek, he had no idea what they were saying. "I didn't mean to upset him."

"It wasn't your fault." Hephaestion had overheard most of their conversation. Alexander and he had woken up and had found Bagoas gone. Guessing that Bagoas would head for the beach, which he often did, they had gone there and found Bagoas talking to Jared. "Bagoas has come a long way since we were reunited, but he's still busy working through his past."

"Is it true what he said? That he was…"

"Forced to work in a brothel as a whore? Yes, that's true for his first life and for this one as well. We found him after he had escaped his pimps and we took him in."

Jared knew Hephaestion was holding back. "Help me understand. From what I gather Alexander and you are lovers… Alexander called you the other half of his soul. But it's two halves that make one whole, not three, so where does Bagoas fit in?"

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath. "That's not an easy question to answer, but I will try. I love Alexander – he is my soul – and the same goes for the way Alexander feels about me. We are only complete when we are together, but we have enough love to include Bagoas. We love him and we want him to be happy. Our love completes each other. There's no jealousy – not like there was in our first life."

Jared stopped following Bagoas with his eyes and looked into Hephaestion's instead. They radiated wisdom and age. "Should I apologize to Bagoas or will that only make things worse?"

"Let Alexander calm Bagoas down. Once Bagoas has composed himself, he'll regret his emotional outburst and he'll probably come to you to apologize. The best thing you can do then is to assure him that there's nothing he needs to apologize for."

Jared nodded his head; Hephaestion's advice made sense. "I don't really know what to make of any of this, but the three of you seem to be very caring and understanding. You might be reincarnations of Alexander, Hephaestion, and Bagoas or not. I'm not sure if it matters." Now that he was getting to know them, he could imagine befriending them. 

"We are who we say we are, Jared. I am Hephaestion. I commanded armies, built cities, and had Alexander's love. That is the truth – and it matters little if you believe me or not because *I* know it’s the truth." 

Jared looked at Hephaestion with new respect. /I like him – I like all three of them./ "Thanks for inviting me."

Hephaestion's smile grew radiant as he saw new understanding in Jared's eyes. "It's a pleasure to have you, my friend."

TBC

Part 8

"Bagoas, stop! Calm down! Please, Bagoas, please..." Alexander didn't like using force to keep Bagoas in place, but he had no other choice. He didn't want Bagoas to run away from them and needed to keep him in place. Bagoas was trembling, his dark hair was flying, and the brown eyes revealed panic and stress. 

"All is well, Bagoas. I've got you." Alexander pulled Bagoas close and ignored his younger lover's feeble attempts at freeing himself. Had he been under the impression that Bagoas really wanted to get away from him, Alexander would have let him go, but the expression in those brown eyes told him that Bagoas needed him. 

"I told you that I would catch you should you fall and I'm here – you've been caught." He phrased his reassurances in that way on purpose to make it sound that it wasn't Bagoas' responsibility to come running to him for comfort and that Alexander was freely offering whatever his lover might need at the moment.

Bagoas stared at Alexander and felt at a loss. "I told him… I told him about…" He couldn't say the words again. 

Bagoas didn't have to, as Alexander had overheard the conversation as well. "You're allowed to fall, you know." Alexander released a relieved sigh as Bagoas moved into his arms. He embraced Bagoas tightly and smiled ruefully the moment Bagoas rested his head against his right shoulder. "You're much stronger than you think, Bagoas. Telling Jared took courage and strength. Don't beat yourself up now for panicking. You've already come such a long way." 

Alexander began to walk Bagoas back to their cottage and his lover went willingly. One look from over his shoulder told him that Hephaestion and Jared were still talking and that they were also making their way to the cottage, but at some distance. "You feel cold," he commented in order to make some conversation. "I'll tuck you right into bed."

Bagoas chuckled softly and doing so allowed his panic a way out. "That's because I *am* cold."

Alexander gathered that Jared wouldn't mind having his morning robe returned in the morning. Bagoas continued to pull the fabric close to his frame and it seemed like he didn't want to part from it. 

They had reached their room and Alexander kept his promise: he piled the pillows at the head, told Bagoas to lie down, and then tucked him in. Alexander sat down at the foot end and pulled Bagoas' right foot onto his lap. The appendage was cold and Bagoas was still shivering, so Alexander started to massage the foot, like he had done when they had been in Athens. 

Alexander kept a close eye on Bagoas and noticed the exact moment when the younger man began to relax. He reckoned that the massage was helping and he now pulled the left foot into his lap as well. While rubbing Bagoas' feet, Alexander continued to study Bagoas' expression, which had softened and grown calmer. "Better?"

"Better." Having his feet rubbed did the trick. Bagoas was still aware of the fact that he was wearing Jared's morning robe and wondered if their guest wanted it back right now – it smelled so good. He liked Jared's scent a lot. 

"Jared will understand. He strikes me as a very understanding person." Alexander chuckled. "He even put up with my raving when I tried to explain our situation to him."

Bagoas' eyes had closed and they remained close when he spoke again. "Why did I tell him? Why couldn't I just stay quiet?"

Alexander shrugged his shoulders and kept up the massage. "It needed a way out." And maybe Bagoas had hoped that Jared would understand. "Do you think that you can go back to sleep again?"

"I haven't slept tonight yet." Bagoas' eyes opened and fastened on Alexander. "Do you want to have sex?"

The question struck Alexander as odd and even more importantly, as dangerous. Where had that question come from? Hephaestion had taught him to tread carefully in such a situation and he trusted on his newly found ability to talk things through instead of locking them out. "Sex? Why are you asking me that?" The way Bagoas' eyes widened warned him that something was *really* wrong.

"Isn't that all I'm good for?"

Alexander's heart contracted painfully in his chest. "I thought we had been through this before?" As he was focused on dealing with Bagoas' anguish, Alexander didn't notice that Hephaestion had joined them and was now standing near the doorway. 

Hephaestion had closed the door behind him to give them some privacy. He didn't interfere yet, hoping and maybe even trusting that Alexander could handle this.

"That's not true and deep down, you know it." Alexander had moved forward, having released one foot, and placed a hand on Bagoas' chest. "I don't know why you feel the need to say that, but in your heart, you know it's not true. Hephaestion and I love you unconditionally." 

Bagoas' features relaxed and the trembling that had rocked the younger man's body a moment ago subsided. "And when we do decide to get intimate, I want us to make love, not to have sex. I trust you know the difference by now?" Alexander patiently waited for his words to register with Bagoas.

The dam broke a second time and tears flowed from Bagoas' eyes. "I know… I know that, but sometimes…"

"Sometimes you need to hear it." Alexander had learned his lesson well and felt eternally grateful that Hephaestion had helped him grow emotionally. He shifted his position, knelt on the bed, and Bagoas promptly moved into his arms again. Alexander held Bagoas close and rocked him gently. The next moment, the mattress dipped under Hephaestion's weight. Alexander felt how Hephaestion's arms snuck around his waist, not only including him in his lover's embrace, but Bagoas as well. 

"What Alexander said, is true, Bagoas. Our love is unconditional. We love *you*." Hephaestion felt proud of the way Alexander had handled Bagoas' emotional outburst. His lover had done well.

~~~

Jared was unable to fall asleep again and, in the end, he uncovered the letter Laeta had translated for him the other day. He pulled his knees close to his chest and began to read.

My beloved Hephaestion, how much I miss you! You don't know how hard it is to be apart from you for such a long time. I dream of you at night. I dream of holding you in my arms and of kissing you. I dream of making love to you and in my dreams you move so beautifully beneath me that the image alone is enough to make me find release. 

I know that they need you to rebuild this city, but I am envious because they have your presence and I don't. Hephaestion, will you hurry back to my side? I can't live without you. It's so hard to maintain control when you are not around to guide me. 

Everyone thinks that I rule this kingdom, but the truth is that I could never do it without you. You are Alexander too, and don't start laughing now that you are reading these words for they are true. 

My Companions don't understand why you are so important to me and they never will. So be it. But I know how much I love you – how much I need you. 

Please, Hephaestion, hurry home to me. My heart feels lonely and my soul needs yours to be complete.

Your Alexander

Jared couldn't help smiling at the letter. Alexander's words spoke of a devoted and unconditional love – the same which he had just witnessed being given to Bagoas. No matter how hard it might be to believe that he was actually dealing with the incarnations of those three historical figures, Jared realized that he could learn a lot from the way they interacted and loved each other.

He tucked the letter back into a pocket and stretched out on the bed. He folded his arms beneath his head and stared at the ceiling, wondering what tomorrow would bring.

~~~

"Bagoas, where are you going?" Even half asleep, Hephaestion had noticed Bagoas' attempts to leave their warm bed and he opened one eye to check on his lover. 

"I can't sleep anymore," Bagoas replied, "I have been awake for one hour now and I need to do something… I'll make breakfast and then I'll wake you, how about that?" He had slept peacefully for a few hours, but had woken up when the sun had started to rise and now he felt energized. 

Hephaestion opened the other eye as well and gave Bagoas a long, hard look. He searched the brown eyes until he was convinced that his lover felt all right and wasn't running away from his feelings again. "Then go, my love."

Impulsively, Bagoas leaned in closer and placed a kiss on Hephaestion's brow. "You should try to sleep some more."

"I will…" Hephaestion mumbled, already dozing off again. 

Bagoas snuck out of the bed. Once he was on his feet again, he realized that he was still wearing Jared's morning robe. He should probably return the garment to their guest, but was he ready yet to face Jared? Bagoas vividly remembered the scene he had made last night. What did Jared think of him now? Last night must have confirmed that the three of them had lost their minds long age – and even if Jared thought Hephaestion and Alexander were for real, the actor must think him mad at the very least. 

Dressed in Jared's morning robe and, lost in thought, Bagoas made his way into the kitchen. It wasn't until he stood near the kitchen table that he realized that he wasn't alone. Jared was already there, soundlessly opening and closing the kitchen cupboards in search of something. Bagoas began to panic and wanted to turn around so he could hide in his lovers' room again, but at exactly that moment Jared turned around and smiled at him. 

"Good morning. You're an early riser too?" Jared had also woken at first sunrise and, although he had tried to stay in bed, he had finally crumbled and given in, climbing out of it. He had gone into the kitchen in search of some strong coffee, but so far, he hadn't found any. 

"Good morning, Jared." Bagoas swallowed hard and directed his gaze to the floor so he didn't have to look Jared in the eye. "Are you looking for something?"

"Yeah, coffee."

Bagoas opened one of the cupboards Jared hadn't reached yet and handed him the tin.

"Thank you." Jared had suspected that his first talk with Bagoas after the younger man's outburst would be tricky and he was trying to find the right words to reassure Bagoas. "How do you feel today?" He put water into the coffee maker, added the coffee, and switched it on. He walked up to the table, pulled back a chair, and sat down straddling it.

Bagoas peeked at Jared and found that their guest was still wearing the oversized T-shirt. The blue eyes looked awake and alert. It was obvious that Jared wanted to talk. Bagoas shuffled his feet, painfully aware of the fact that he was naked beneath Jared's morning robe. "I'll return this to you in a bit." He pointed at the morning robe and continued to stare at the floor. 

"Bagoas, sit down? Please?" Jared pushed a chair away from the table to indicate that Bagoas should seat himself. 

Bagoas did. He sat down, wrung his hands beneath the table, and tried to hide behind the black curtain of his hair. 

But Jared wouldn't have it and reached for Bagoas' hair so he could push it behind the younger man's ear. "Bagoas?" 

Bagoas forced himself to face Jared. He couldn't keep postponing the confrontation. "I am sorry," he murmured, hesitantly making eye contact. "I am sorry for telling you all that and then running away from you."

"There's nothing to feel sorry about," Jared interjected quickly. "You decided to trust me and I understand that opening up to me was hard on you."

Bagoas shrugged his shoulders. "But this will change everything between us," he said, voicing his concerns. 

"And why is that?" Jared frowned.

"You now know what I am – what I was. You will act differently toward me now." Bagoas decided to be completely honest with Jared and he peeked at the blue eyes, which looked at him with encouragement and faith. "I wanted to befriend you. I like you, Jared, and…" It was more than 'like' but Bagoas was realistic enough to realize that nothing would happen between them. 

"I like you too, Bagoas," Jared responded in a soft voice. He ran his fingers down Bagoas' hair until no more strands obscured the handsome features from his view. "I hope we'll become friends too." Jared then took a risk and added, "I hope that you'll dance for me one day and maybe we can hit the city during one of my last days here? Do some shopping or go to a night club?" He reckoned that what Bagoas needed the most was a friend, not another lover. He already had Hephaestion and Alexander as his lovers.

Bagoas swallowed convulsively. "You still want to spend time with me?" 

"But of course!" Jared briefly caressed Bagoas' face, instinctively knowing that the younger man needed the touch. "The past shapes us, that much is true, but the future is ours to create. If you’re determined to beat this, you will. You need to have some faith in yourself, Bagoas. I have faith in you." He did and that was taking in the fact that he had only been here for a day. 

On Bagoas' face, a smile formed and his eyes sparkled with joy. "Thank you!" He hadn't thought this conversation would be so easy!

"Is that coffee I smell? By Zeus, I need some!" Alexander, still busy wiping sleep from his half-closed eyes, stumbled into the kitchen. He normally was a morning person, but today was different as Bagoas' emotional outburst had disturbed his sleep. 

Bagoas quickly checked the coffee maker, found the coffee ready, and got up to pour Alexander a cup. 

"Make that a mug," Alexander said as he seated himself at the table next to Jared. "Big mug, lots of sugar and no milk."

Bagoas grinned, carried out Alexander's request, and placed the hot coffee in front of his lover, who was smart enough to wait for it to cool down before sipping it. "Is Hephaestion still asleep?"

"No, he's already awake. He'll join us in a moment." Alexander's sleepy expression changed into a leer. Hephaestion probably needed to clean himself up after their lovemaking. Alexander actually felt rather proud to have taken Hephaestion without making much noise. The two men in the kitchen hadn't noticed their morning activity. 

Hephaestion appeared a moment later, looking the opposite of the still sleep-tousled Alexander. His long hair was damp from the quick shower and he had already dressed for the day in jeans and a blue shirt. His eyes shone with mirth and he gave Alexander a conspiring smile before setting about making breakfast.

"I said I would do that!" Instead of making the breakfast which he had promised his lovers, Bagoas had spent his time talking to Jared.

"I will do it." Hephaestion sensed the relaxed atmosphere and realized Bagoas and Jared had talked. "Why don't the two of you clean up and get dressed? Breakfast will be ready in fifteen minutes."

Jared rose from his chair and began to walk toward his room. "I'll be back in five." Hephaestion was right; taking that shower would do him good. 

Bagoas remained seated as he had to wait for Jared to vacate the bathroom before he could take his shower. Alexander was trying to catch his attention by giving him odd looks and, in the end, Bagoas satisfied his lover's curiosity by saying, "Yes, we talked and he promised not to treat me any different."

"Did you think he would shun you for what happened to you in your past?" Alexander sipped more of his now cooled down coffee. 

"I was afraid he might," Bagoas admitted softly. "I thought I had dealt with it, and then it comes back and bites me in the butt."

In an attempt to draw Bagoas from his still somewhat depressed mood, Alexander said, "I'd bite your ass any time you want me to. It's a delicious ass, with perfectly shaped buttocks…"

"Alexander!" Hephaestion chuckled and shook his head. "We didn't even have breakfast yet, so behave a little longer."

"We didn't behave in bed just now," Alexander replied, reminding Hephaestion on their recent morning ‘activities’. "You didn't behave when you told me to take you faster and harder…"

Hephaestion gave up; it was going to be one of *those* days.

~~~

Jared stayed close to Bagoas for the rest of the day, giving Hephaestion and Alexander a chance to spend time together in turn. He asked Bagoas to dance, which the younger man did, and they took long strolls along the beach. They talked about the past, the present, and the future. Bagoas began to relax around him and seemed to feel comfortable in his presence. 

Jared continued to encourage Bagoas to spend time with him for the next few days and the more they talked, the more Bagoas opened up to him, telling him even more painful details of his past. At the same time, Bagoas also managed to explain the unique love the three of them shared. 

Hephaestion and Alexander also talked. They had realized that Bagoas had developed a crush where Jared was concerned and wondered if their lover would end up hurt because of it. They decided to address the matter halfway during Jared's stay.

~~~

"Jared, can we talk to you?" Hephaestion had waited for Bagoas to take his bath. That way, they would have some privacy and didn't have to worry about Bagoas walking in on them unexpectedly. 

Jared was sitting on the couch in the living room and had borrowed Hephaestion's laptop to send some messages to his family and band members. He had just sent the last one and looked up at Hephaestion and Alexander, who were in the process of seating themselves opposite of him. He had a feeling he knew what this was about. 

"We want to talk to you about Bagoas." Hephaestion would do the talking for now. Alexander had asked him to do so. 

"I think I know what worries you." Jared closed the laptop and placed it onto the coffee table. "It's in his eyes each time he looks at me."

"He has a crush on you," Hephaestion confirmed Jared's suspicions. "And we are worried because we don't know how you will react to that. We don't want to see him hurt."

"What are your intentions where Bagoas is concerned?" Alexander asked. 

Jared leaned back into the comfort of the couch. "I'm not planning on acting on it, if that's what you want to know. I've seen the love between the three of you and I don't want to mess that up."

Hephaestion felt relieved. "We had hoped you would say that."

"But…" 

Jared's but worried Alexander. "But what?"

"Have you considered how Bagoas feels under the rejection? He has shared his past with me and he has told me that he's worried about me treating him different because of it. He might chalk up this rejection to the fact that he's 'damaged goods' as he phrases it."

Hephaestion and Alexander exchanged a look; that thought hadn't occurred to them yet. "The thing is," Hephaestion started, "that it won't work out. Bagoas isn't someone for a one-night-stand. He needs love, unconditional love, and the three of us know that you can't give him that."

Jared nodded his head once. "I know that, but I do think I need to show him that I accept him the way he is and that his past isn't the reason why I choose not to be with him."

"Just out of curiosity, are you gay? Or bi?" Alexander had wanted to know for a while now.

Jared chuckled. "I had a crush on Colin during the filming of Alexander, so that makes me bi, I guess."

"I knew it!" Alexander sounded triumphant, which earned him a displeased look from Hephaestion. "What? I am not inviting him into our bed, am I?"

"Oh, but you thought about it. I know you, Alexander."

Hephaestion's words brought a blush to Alexander's face. "Stop reading my mind!"

Hephaestion grinned and then turned his attention back to Jared, who was watching them with amused eyes. "What are your plans then?"

"I want to talk to Bagoas about this… and maybe I can do something that will show him how much I like him."

"Do something?" Hephaestion's worries returned. 

"Nothing physical!" Jared shook his head. "Guys, get your minds out of the gutter!"

"This is because of all the slash we have been reading and writing," Alexander whispered the words so Jared wouldn't catch them. "We really need to stop doing that."

Hephaestion let the remark go. "Jared?"

"Maybe something like a kiss? A kiss can say many things." Jared noticed the relief and approval in Alexander's eyes. Apparently Alexander understood. 

Alexander nodded once. "A kiss might do the trick."

"And maybe you'd let me take Bagoas to a gig? Or we could go out? Do some shopping? Something tells me he would like that." Jared had been thinking about this. "Once we sorted everything out and I'm back on the road again, Bagoas could stay with me for a while. Maybe he would like to travel and see the world? The band wouldn't mind."

"That's something for Bagoas to decide." Hephaestion had known that they couldn't keep Bagoas at their cottage forever. Bagoas was still so very young and needed to make something out of his life. "But we are getting ahead of things."

"You're right." Jared watched them closely and realized that sometime during last week, the two – no, three of them – had somehow convinced him that they were for real.

~~~

"Can't you stay longer? I don't want you to leave tomorrow." Bagoas gave Jared a pleading look. Alexander would drive Jared to the airport late tomorrow evening so their guest would make it onto his flight back to the US. 

"I can't. I have obligations, appointments…" Jared didn't want to leave, but his life continued. "If it were up to me, I'd stay."

Bagoas smiled weakly at hearing those words. "Do you think we will ever see each other again?" He was trying to be strong, but on the inside, he was crying. Jared had offered him his friendship, and Bagoas had taken it, not trying to go a step further and see if Jared was willing to become intimate with him. Jared's friendship had to do.

"Of course we will! I'll fly you in for one of our concerts and we'll hit the town after the gig." Jared realized the time had come to be completely honest with Bagoas. "You're a very special person, Bagoas, and you're very fortunate to have Alexander and Hephaestion's love, you know that, don't you?"

Bagoas nodded his head and stared as if entranced into Jared's eyes. 

"Bagoas, you like me a little too much, don’t you?" Bringing this up now wasn't easy, but Jared knew it had to be done.

"Am I that obvious?" Bagoas lowered his gaze now that he realized he had revealed too much of his feelings.

"Yeah, it's hard to miss." Jared placed a finger beneath Bagoas' chin, raised the handsome face, and reestablished eye contact. "I want you to know something, Bagoas. Had we met under different circumstances, we might have worked out."

Bagoas swallowed hard. "This is because of my past, isn’t it? You don't want to be with a whore."

"No!" Jared insistently shook his head. "That has nothing to do with it!"

Bagoas blinked and searched Jared's eyes for the lie, but didn't find it. Jared was being honest. "Then why…?"

"You have something very precious here – something most people only dream of. You have two lovers who adore you – who love you unconditionally. I can't let you throw that away for one night."

Bagoas blinked; that wasn't what he had expected to hear. 

"At first, I didn't get it. I've never seen a threesome work out before, but the three of you were made for each other. You have a crush on me, yes, but those feelings will go away again. What you feel for Alexander and Hephaestion is different though and those feelings will last."

Bagoas was willing to accept this explanation, but needed to ask one more time. "Are you sure this isn't because of…" Jared suddenly leaned in closer and Bagoas' breath caught as those soft lips pressed against his in a gentle kiss. Jared's hand rested at the back of his neck, drawing him into the kiss and Bagoas parted his lips and teeth to allow Jared in. 

It was a good kiss – a kiss that made Bagoas' toes curl, but it also made him realize that Jared's words had been true. These feelings didn't compare to what he felt for Hephaestion and Alexander. 

Jared slowly released Bagoas' lips, licked the bottom lip as a goodbye, and then studied the stunned eyes. "Would I do that if your past mattered that much to me?" 

A gentle and sparkling smile radiated from Bagoas' face. "I think I understand." 

"Very good." Jared caressed Bagoas' hair and then pulled away. "Always remember what you have instead of what you think you want."

Bagoas nodded again. "I understand…"

Jared gave Bagoas a look filled with proud adoration. His plan had worked. 

"Jared? Get your ass in the car. We are leaving." 

Hearing Alexander's voice so unexpectedly made Jared, as well as Bagoas, jump. 

"We are making one last stop before I take you back to Athens and we need time to do so." Alexander saw Bagoas' flustered state and realized what had happened: Jared had made Bagoas understand. 

"Going? Is it because of the kiss?" Bagoas, panicking, pleadingly raised his hands. "Alexander…"

Alexander quickly placed his hands on Bagoas' shoulders and calmed his lover. "No, this has nothing to do with that kiss." Turning his head, he looked Jared in the eye. "It is time for us to rock the world on her foundations, Jared. I am taking you to Troy."

Jared blinked in surprise. "Troy? But why?"

Bagoas caught on and his eyes widened. "Alexander, you can't…"

"I can. Hephaestion is right, you see. We don't have the right to hide this from the world. I want the world to know how much you loved me, Bagoas, and how much I loved Hephaestion." 

"Can someone *please* tell me what this is about?" Jared felt lost and he didn't particularly like that feeling. 

"Alexander will take you to his tomb," Hephaestion explained as he stepped out of the shadows and took up his position at Alexander's side. "Through you, he wants to tell the world that Alexander the Great's remains survived the test of time. That's the main reason why he brought you here, Jared."

TBC

 

Part 9

Jared found himself in the backseat of the car with Bagoas sitting next to him. Hephaestion had grown quiet since Alexander had voiced his intentions to take him to Troy and Jared wondered why that was. Hephaestion, who normally was very balanced, had now become nervous. "Is anything wrong?" His voice broke the silence which had lingered in the car. That silence had begun to become uncomfortable. 

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath before answering Jared. "I don't want to go back there, that's all."

"He didn't react very well to seeing my corpse for the very first time." Alexander, who usually sounded cheerful, was now serious and even sounded concerned. "Actually, he suffered a nervous breakdown."

"You did?" Surprised, Jared moved forward on his seat and rested his chin on Hephaestion's back rest.

"Yes, I did, and I don't want to go through that again." Hephaestion gritted his teeth. It had been his suggestion to share this discovery with the world that had put him in this situation. "Did you get through to your friend?"

Jared nodded. "Laeta will meet me there in three hours. That leaves the three of you plenty of time to leave undetected." He had thought about a game plan after Alexander had announced his attentions and he had come up with something that might work. He had called Laeta on the phone and asked him to come to Troy as well. As Laeta lived in Athens, the professor would arrive one hour after they did. Laeta would also give him a lift back to the city, so he would be able to catch his plane.

"And your friend asked no questions?" Alexander studied Jared in the mirror. 

"He translated that letter you gave me for me, so he knows something is going on. He just doesn't know *what*." Laeta had given in quickly once his friend had learned that this news concerned Alexander the Great. "I guess this means that we're about to split up and go our separate ways?"

Alexander nodded. "But you are always welcome to visit. All you need to do is give me a call and I will pick you up at the airport."

There was something else though that made Jared feel guilty. "Bagoas, I really wanted to hit Athens with you and take you out."

Bagoas shrugged. He had made his peace since they had shared that kiss. "You already did enough for me."

"No, I want to do this," Jared said determinedly. Then, he had an idea. "We'll be touring Europe in the fall. Why don't you join us then? Come and watch a gig and then we'll go out, just like I promised we would, and the best thing is, you'll get to meet the rest of the band."

"I would like that." Bagoas smiled and nodded once. "I really like that idea."

In the front, Hephaestion and Alexander smiled at each other. Things had worked out just fine.

~~~

"This is it. This is where the entrance to my tomb is situated." This was it; he had done it. He had told Jared where to find his tomb. "If you can, try to make sure they treat our remains with respect. My body should be fine, it is embalmed and safe inside the sarcophagus, and Hephaestion's ashes are safe too, locked inside the bust. But I worry about Bagoas. If they aren't careful, his skeleton will collapse."

"I will tell Laeta to be careful." Jared eyed Alexander closely and saw a distant look in those eyes, which had seen so much in their first life time. "You *do* realize that Laeta will have to apply for permits and funding? This will take time. This won't happen today or tomorrow. This might take months, maybe even years."

"I don't mind that, Jared, as long as they don't destroy anything in there." Alexander had noticed Hephaestion's troubled expression and now made his way over to his lover, who had preferred to stay inside the car. "Not feeling too well?"

Hephaestion focused on Alexander and placed his hands in the blond hair, as he had to feel his lover close and alive. He still hadn't dealt with the nervous breakdown completely. Now that they were back here, visions of the past attacked him. "Take me away from here, Alexander. I can't stay."

Alexander considered his lover's request and looked at Jared, who was still talking to Bagoas. "We will leave in a few minutes. Can you hold on for that long?"

Hephaestion nodded his head once. "Make it quick, Alexander."

Alexander pressed a kiss onto Hephaestion's lips and then rose from the ground. He made his way over to Bagoas and curled an arm around his younger lover's waist. "The time has come to go home, Bagoas. Jared's friend will arrive any moment now and Hephaestion isn't doing well."

Bagoas understood; he still recalled the way Hephaestion had reacted the first time they had visited Alexander's tomb. "May I have a moment in private?"

Alexander removed his arm and nodded his head. Bagoas wanted some privacy and his lover would get it. "Jared, have a safe trip home and I count on you to contact Bagoas in the fall." He was still worried that Jared might disappoint Bagoas one way or the other.

"Don't worry! I will. We already agreed to stay in touch. We even exchanged our email addresses!" Jared squeezed Alexander's shoulder in a playful way. "For what it's worth," he added after a moment's thought, "I believe the three of you are for real."

Alexander smiled a little and then turned around to return to Hephaestion's side, which left Jared alone with Bagoas.

"We'll be in touch, I promise," Jared said as he clasped Bagoas' right hand in between his. "I won't forget you."

"I won't blame you if you do," Bagoas murmured. "You have a life out there, while my life is concentrated here."

"Always remember that what you have is valuable, Bagoas. The love the three of you share is precious." Jared pulled Bagoas in for hug and embraced him tightly. "I have your email address and Alexander's cell phone number. Trust me, I won't forget about my promise."

Bagoas closed his eyes for one long moment and deeply inhaled Jared's scent – which reminded him – "I haven't returned your morning robe to you yet."

"Keep it, if it means that much to you."

Bagoas raised his head from where it had been resting on Jared's shoulder and chuckled. 

"This is only a temporary goodbye, Bagoas."

"I believe you," Bagoas replied. He began to untangle himself from Jared's embrace and took a step away from the other man. "We will meet again." Resolutely, he turned around and started to walk toward the car. He had to be strong now.

~~~

"Jared, what is this all about?" Laeta had cancelled his appointments, had hopped into his car, and had driven out to Troy because Jared had told him to do so right away.

Jared had been staring at the distance and had been so lost in thought that he hadn't heard his friend's car approach. He felt strangely alone now that Alexander, Hephaestion, and Bagoas had left. He had come to care for them in the two weeks he had spent in their company. 

"Jared?" Laeta had reached Jared's side and wanted to shake his friend now that Jared seemed to ignore him. "Why did you tell me to drive out here? Is this about the letter you gave me?" He had published the letter, had drawn the attention of the academic world, and had begun rewriting parts of the books concerning about Alexander the Great and Hephaestion. Jared's letter had gathered him even more fame and recognition in the academic world. 

Jared forced himself to stop thinking of the three men and turned to face Laeta. If what Alexander had told him was true, the academic world was about to be shaken on its foundation.

~~~

Eight months later, the discovery of Alexander's tomb was the most important news on TV and the internet. Jared had fed Laeta all the information the professor had needed and Laeta in turn had vowed to protect the remains of the three historical figures locked inside the tomb. Jared had requested to be kept out of it and Laeta was credited for the find, just like Jared had wanted it. He had no intention of explaining to the press why he had known where to find Alexander's tomb. Laeta did so instead and told the press he had made this discovery after researching all possible burial sites.

Creating an exhibit at the museum that would credit the find took another two months, but in the end, Laeta was satisfied with the way the find would be presented to the public. 

Little did he know that he was about to have two very important visitors.

~~~

Alexander felt pleased, and relieved, now that he had a chance to see for himself what had happened to their remains. Laeta had managed to recreate the inside of the tomb and had taken great care in transporting Bagoas' remains. Once everything had arrived at the museum, the experts had recreated the same setting as in the tomb and Bagoas was once more sitting guard next to Alexander's sarcophagus. 

"Is that what you wanted?" Bagoas had slipped a hand into Alexander's, as he didn’t want them to get separated in the crowd. It was also his way of showing his support. 

"Yes, this will do." Alexander managed a weak smile. The letter, which his corpse had held in his hand, had been removed and given a place of honor, its translation was being projected beneath the glass cylinder which showcased the letter. "They finally know the truth about Hephaestion and me." Alexander listened to what the people circling around the sarcophagus were saying and found that they spoke with the greatest respect of their lives and their remains. 

"It was hard on some of the scholars to accept that you were gay," Bagoas commented as he studied Alexander's embalmed corpse through the bullet-proof glass. The curators had taken every possible precaution to ensure their remains were safe and protected. 

 

"I don’t understand why," Alexander admitted. "Why do they need to label me? I loved Hephaestion; it's as simple as that." He squeezed Bagoas' hand and added, "And I loved you – I still do."

Bagoas smiled. "I know you do, Alexander." The crowd was already forcing them to move toward the exit and Bagoas got one last look at Hephaestion's bust, which stood at the head end of Alexander's sarcophagus. /You changed my life, Hephaestion. If only I hadn't been that blind back then./ But he had made his peace with the past.

~~~

Hephaestion had refused to visit the exhibit and had stayed behind at their hotel. Alexander and Bagoas found him nursing a cup of mint tea in the lobby and seated themselves close to him. Hephaestion blinked, as he hadn't expected them to return so quickly. "What is it like?"

Alexander ordered coffee, while Bagoas opted for a glass of tea as well. Alexander's brown eyes fastened on his lover's hesitant ones. "They did well. They recreated the setting inside the tomb." Alexander lacked the right words to describe the experience. "I am glad I told Jared where to find it."

"Speaking of Jared…" Hephaestion quickly changed their subject, as he wanted to get away from discussing the exhibit. "Did you make any decisions concerning his invitation?" Jared's invitation for Bagoas to visit him in London had arrived by email two days ago and Bagoas had been nervous ever since. Hephaestion gathered that Bagoas hadn't thought Jared would keep his promise. "London is only a few hours away."

Bagoas shrugged his shoulders. "I know that, it's just…" Alexander rested a hand on his knee and the gesture made Bagoas smile fondly. "I haven't been apart from you for the last two years."

"And that is exactly why you should do this, Bagoas." Hephaestion felt very determined about this undertaking. "You need to be on your own for a while. You need to find out if you can do this alone."

"But I don't want to be alone. I want to be with the two of you!"

Bagoas sounded just as determined as Hephaestion felt and it was up to Alexander to take the lead. "Bagoas, we will still be here when you get back! It is only for four days!" Like Hephaestion, Alexander felt that it was important for Bagoas to do this. "Go…"

Bagoas gave Alexander a look filled with disbelief. "But I thought…"

"Bagoas, we love you. We will love you when you are in London and we will still love you when you get back. Our love for you won't disappear in four days. Is that what is really bothering you?" Hephaestion had opted for honesty and could tell by looking at Bagoas' face that he had hit the bull's eye. "Do you really think so little of our love?"

"It triumphed over death," Alexander added as he squeezed Bagoas' knee. "Go to London and have a good time."

Bagoas peeked at his lovers' faces and saw genuine concern on them. They wanted him to do this and to grow – to become more independent. "All right then, I will go. But only for four days."

"Don't worry. Just have a good time and we will be at the airport when you get back. We will still love you then." Ignoring any curious looks he was attracting, Hephaestion leaned in closer and kissed Bagoas on the lips. "Our love will never fade."

~~~

"I still think you lost your mind." Shannon had accompanied his brother to the airport, as Jared had been determined to pick their guest up in person. "No sane person calls himself Bagoas!"

"It's his name, *Shannon*, like that's an every day name!" Jared pushed himself up onto the tips of his toes so he could look out over the crowd in search of Bagoas. The two of them had been in touch by email during the last ten months and had deepened their friendship further. Jared felt like he had gained another brother, but didn't tell Shannon that, not now that his younger brother turned out to be such a handful. "Just be friendly toward him. That's all I'm asking for."

"I'll try." Shannon noticed the tall, dark-haired stranger who was heading their way first. Dressed in a long, woolen, black cloak, the stranger looked even taller. "Is that him?" Jared had told him that Bagoas possessed long, black hair and, so far, this stranger was the only one with long, ebony hair. 

"Bagoas!" Jared hurried toward Bagoas and closed his arms around the younger man's form. "You're here."

"I hate flying," were Bagoas' first words. "We had lots of turbulence."

"But you made it!" Jared smiled reassuringly at Bagoas. Bagoas had told him that he hated to fly and that he was really not looking forward to flying on his own. "You're here now!" Bagoas pressed against him in the embrace and Jared hugged him tighter. "I'm glad you're here. I've missed you!" 

Shannon watched them with curiosity. He couldn't deny that Bagoas was handsome and possessed charisma – after all, he *had* noticed Bagoas at once. 

Jared pulled away from Bagoas to present his younger brother to his friend. "Bagoas, this is Shannon." He had already told Bagoas a lot about this brother during their email correspondence.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you." Bagoas felt way more nervous than he looked. He was still anxious about meeting new people, and Jared had told him that Shannon was skeptical where their friendship was concerned. "I am Bagoas." He offered Shannon his hand and wondered if the other man would take it.

Not wanting to be rude, Shannon shook Bagoas' hand. "Jared told me some things about you, but nothing that really tells me who you are." Jared hadn't revealed much about Bagoas, except that they had become friends when he had visited them in Greece. And that was a strange story in itself. Before Jared had left for Athens, Jared had been intrigued, skeptical even about the 'Alexander' who had invited him to stay. Once his brother had returned from that visit, Jared had changed. It was only in small ways, but Shannon had noticed them. 

"Well, there isn't much to tell." Bagoas allowed Jared to handle his suit case and followed the two brothers to their car. "Except that I am a dancer."

"A dancer?" Shannon had read Alexander the Great's history when he had learned that his brother would be playing a part in that movie and he *had* heard about Bagoas, who had been a eunuch, dancer, and Alexander's lover. 

Bagoas seated himself in the back, while Shannon took the driver's seat. Jared turned around on his seat in order to carry on their conversation. "The gig is tonight, do you feel up for that? I got you a back stage pass just in case."

"I am up for it, thank you, Jared." Bagoas felt Shannon's eyes on him; the other man was studying him in the mirror. 

"And after the show, we'll go clubbing!" Jared had thought everything through, as he wanted to make the most of the time Bagoas would spend with him. /And tomorrow, I'll have a surprise for you./ Oh, he really hoped Bagoas would like his surprise!

~~~

The band rocked the stage and Bagoas applauded after they had given their last encore. Jared handed his guitar to one of the roadies and gestured for Bagoas to follow him into his dressing room. "Give me twenty minutes and we'll hit the nightclubs."

"Aren't you tired?" Bagoas seated himself and made a point of staring into the opposite direction when Jared started to take his clothes off. A moment later, Jared disappeared into the small bathroom. 

"No, I am all psyched up! Bagoas, would you mind if Shannon tagged along?" 

"No, I don't mind at all." After all, Shannon *was* Jared's brother. "By the way, thank you for setting me up in such a nice hotel."

"It was the least I could do." Jared's hair had reached his shoulders by now and washing it took more time than washing his short hair would. Jared was glad to have his hair back though. He hadn't really liked his bald look. "So, what's new with Alexander and Hephaestion? Did they approve of Laeta's decisions? I told him to treat the tomb and their remains with respect."

"Yes, they approved. Alexander and I went to see the exhibit."

"Hephaestion didn't?"

"He was worried he wouldn't handle it so well." 

Jared had finished drying his hair and skin and stepped into the dressing room. Within minutes he had slipped into a pair of stone-washed jeans, a black turtle necked shirt, jacket, and leather boots. "I only need to blow-dry my hair and then we can leave." 

"Jared?" Bagoas made his way over to the mirror, where Jared was styling his hair. 

"Yes?"

"Do you believe us?"

Jared smiled. "Yeah, I believe you – all three of you. You convinced me that you're Bagoas."

Uncertain if he was overstepping any boundaries, Bagoas curled his arms around Jared's waist and rested his upper body against Jared's back. "I still like you a lot, Jared."

Jared turned in the embrace and placed his hands on either side of Bagoas' head. "And I'm still telling you not to throw away what you have for a one-night-stand."

"Can it not be more? More than a one-night-stand?"

Jared sighed and let his fingers travel down Bagoas' jaw line. "You belong with Alexander and Hephaestion. Don't you know that?"

"I do," Bagoas said in a rueful tone. He started to pull away, but this time it was Jared who pulled him close. 

"I promise you this, Bagoas, we'll always be friends, and you can visit with me whenever you want. And I, in turn, will come and visit with you in Athens." 

Realizing this was the best Jared could offer, Bagoas leaned in closer and returned the kiss Jared had given him almost a year ago. It was a sensual kiss, but one that didn't push for entry or demand Jared to respond to it. "Friends?" Bagoas said eventually. 

Jared gave him a grateful smile. "Yes, friends…"

~~~

Bagoas had enjoyed himself at first. Jared had suggested they went to this particular club because of their open-minded view where gays were concerned and Bagoas had approved of the choice – until now. For the past few minutes, a rather bulky fellow had been trying to feel him up and push him into a dark corner. Bagoas was doing his best to move out of the way, but no matter what he did, the hands appeared again and tried to grab his ass. 

"Hey, man, back off!" 

Bagoas blinked; he hadn't thought someone would tell the buffoon off. His eyes widened further as he saw that it was Shannon who had positioned himself between the two of them, effectively blocking his pursuer's path. 

"Can't you take the hint? He isn't interested!" Shannon had watched Bagoas the entire evening. At first because he hadn't completely trusted him, but once the evening had progressed, because he realized that Bagoas wasn't used to these kinds of surroundings. It was beyond him why Jared had brought their guest here when it was rather obvious that Bagoas wasn't looking for a love interest. 

The other man reluctantly backed off and then headed in the opposite direction, finally leaving Bagoas alone. 

"Thank you," Bagoas said, realizing this incident could bridge the distance between them. He wasn't quite certain if he could have driven the other man off, but he liked to believe so. Thankfully, he hadn't needed to find out; Shannon had driven the guy off instead. Suddenly, Shannon's arm came up around his waist and Bagoas allowed him to guide him to the bar. 

"You should be careful, you know. A lot of guys dig your type." Shannon sipped his beer and watched Bagoas ask for tea. The bartender gave Bagoas an odd look, but, because Bagoas looked so fucking handsome, he did his best and managed to find some tea bags in one of the cupboards. Shannon grinned once he realized the effect Bagoas had on the bartender. 

"They do? I didn't know that." Bagoas cast a look around and wondered where Jared had disappeared to. He hadn't seen Jared for some minutes now.

"Maybe you should stay close to me tonight…" Shannon didn't fancy guys like his brother sometimes did, but he was secure enough in his manhood to admit that Bagoas *was* handsome and turning a lot of heads. A feeling of protectiveness came over him, surprising him, and he smiled as he watched Bagoas sip his tea.

~~~

Jared had watched his brother rescue Bagoas with a huge grin on his face. He had counted on Shannon to come to the rescue and his brother hadn't disappointed him. Looking at them now, standing at the bar, he saw the change in Shannon's eyes. His brother had accepted Bagoas and would not create any more problems during Bagoas' stay.

TBC

Part 10

"So, what's the big surprise?" Jared had been teasing him all morning, but had refused to tell him any details. All Jared had said was that he believed Bagoas would love this surprise. 

"Not yet!" Jared was practically bouncing when he led the way into the hotel's restaurant. He had booked Bagoas a room in the same hotel the band was staying in, so he would always be close. "You're going to soooooooo like this one!"

Bagoas rolled his eyes. "Jared, just tell me." He was about to insist Jared told him when his friend turned him around so he was staring at the back of the restaurant.

"Look familiar?" Jared could barely maintain his mirth now that Bagoas' eyebrows were inching higher. "Seen him before?"

Bagoas blinked. "He looks familiar." At the back of the restaurant partly hidden by large plants sat a dark-haired young man. His hair was short, but not too short, and the large dark eyes were directed at them and indicated the other man had noticed their arrival.

"Francisco! We're over here!" Jared steered Bagoas in the right direction and waved at Francisco Bosch, who had risen from behind the table. 

Bagoas blinked again. "Francisco? Jared, are you telling me that…?" He didn’t get a chance to finish his question as, due to Jared's pushing him, they had reached Francisco's table. 

"Hello, Jared, so this is the friend you mentioned?" Francisco smiled at the stranger. Jared had called him a few days ago with the request to meet him for a lunch, as a friend who was visiting would love to meet him. Apparently this friend had seen him dance in 'Alexander' and was a fellow-dancer. "Hello, I am Francisco." No matter how much he practiced his English, he always maintained some sort of accent that betrayed he originally hailed from Spain. "Jared forgot to tell me your name though."

Bagoas cringed; he couldn't really tell Francisco his name, now could he? And Francisco looked good, wearing black slacks, a white-button down shirt and a black, velvet jacket. A huge smile seemed plastered to the handsome face and the eyes radiated life and energy. 

Realizing Bagoas' dilemma, Jared took charge. "Now, don't laugh, Francisco, but his name is Bagoas, and he is a bit shy." 

Francisco managed to hide his surprise, as he didn't want Bagoas to feel uncomfortable. "Now that is a name I don't think many parents are still giving their children." Francisco seated himself again and so did Jared and Bagoas. 

The waiter arrived and Bagoas used that moment to draw in a deep and hopefully steadying breath. "I would like some tea please."

Francisco studied Bagoas and liked what he saw. The long, raven hair rested on his shoulders and then danced its way down to the narrow hips. Bagoas had dressed in grey slacks, a white shirt, and a black pullover and the look suited him. Francisco had never tried to keep the fact that he was gay a secret and openly admired Bagoas' handsome features. "Jared told me that you are a dancer too?"

The waiter arrived and served high tea. Bagoas watched with surprise how the waiter placed scones, marmalade, biscuits, and muffins onto their table. After pouring the tea, the waiter left and returned them to their privacy. "Yes, I dance. But I am not trained like you are. I never took classes."

Francisco tilted his head. "Not everyone needs classes. Some are naturals." Bagoas was tall, slender, and possessed a natural grace which made Francisco wonder just what kind of dancer the other man was. "Maybe you would like to get together and dance? I know a studio downtown where we can meet and try some moves." Seeing the surprise in Bagoas' dark eyes, he added, "But only if you want to, of course."

"I want to," Bagoas answered quickly, hoping he hadn't made the wrong impression. "I want that."

Francisco uncovered a pen and pulled a paper napkin close. He scribbled down the address of the studio he used to rehearse in and pushed it in Bagoas' direction. "How about four PM tomorrow?"

"I will be there." Bagoas tucked the napkin into a pocket. Francisco's invitation had surprised him and he gave Jared a thankful look for getting them together.

Jared was nibbling on a scone, which he had topped with marmalade and gave Bagoas a wink to show he understood.

"Jared told me that you liked my performance in the film? It was the first film I did, and probably the last as well. I am a dancer, not a movie actor." Francisco blew onto the hot surface of his tea and waited for Bagoas to reply. 

"You did well, especially considering the fact that you didn't have any lines." Bagoas smiled at Francisco and found that smile returned. "You captured your character's essence."

"Thank you." Francisco felt pleased to hear that. For some reason Bagoas' opinion mattered to him – maybe it was due to his name… maybe it was more. The other man possessed something that intrigued him and Francisco hoped he would get to know him better.

~~~

"Thank you for allowing me to meet him." Bagoas had followed Jared into the lobby after Francisco had left. 

"He's a very sweet guy," Jared replied. "I think the two of you'll get along just fine!"

"Ah, there you are! I've been looking for you!" Shannon had finally found them! "What are your plans for the evening, Jared?" Today was an off-day, which meant that they didn't have to perform and would get a chance to rest or to do some sightseeing. He doubted Jared would want to go clubbing again after last night's incident.

"I got tickets for ‘Les Miserables’ for tonight." Jared uncovered the tickets from a pocket. "Wanna go, Shannon?"

"Sure, why not?" He was always open for new experiences.

~~~

The evening had been fun. Bagoas had enjoyed the musical and after saying goodnight to Jared and Shannon, he had stripped and slipped between the covers. Reaching for his cell phone – which Alexander had gotten him before he had left Greece – he punched in Alexander's cell phone number. However, it wasn't Alexander who answered the call, it was Hephaestion. 

"So do you like London, love?" Hephaestion smiled, forgetting that Bagoas couldn't see him. He had expected Bagoas to call him last night, but took the fact that his lover hadn't as a good sign. Maybe Bagoas had had too much of a good time to think of giving him a call. 

"London is just fine and…" Bagoas stalled in order to pique Hephaestion's curiosity. 

"And what?"

"I met Francisco Bosch! You know… The actor who played me in the film! He seems like a really nice guy and Jared assured me he is good company. Francisco invited me into his studio tomorrow and I can't wait to see him dance!" 

Hephaestion's eyes had warmed with love as he had listened to Bagoas' enthusiastic update. "I am glad you like him." 

"But I miss you… And I miss Alexander." Bagoas hadn't missed them as badly as he had thought he would though, and much of that had to do with the fact that Jared kept him busy. He didn't have much time to brood. "Where's Alexander?"

Hephaestion looked out of the kitchen window. "It is a good thing that we live out here and not in the city – he is practicing his sword play." 

Bagoas giggled. "I can imagine what that looks like."

"Alexander misses you and so do I… And we still love you."

Bagoas sighed deeply. A part of him had indeed been afraid that they would like things better without him having around. "I will return to you shortly." He only had two days of his stay left.

~~~

Francisco had already started his work out. Dressed in sweats and a T-shirt, he whirled around and didn't notice Bagoas' arrival at first. He tended to lose himself in the music and would forget about his surroundings. But not this time – this time he noticed he had a spectator. "You made it!" He came to a halt and walked toward Bagoas, who was dressed in a similar way. Bagoas was also wearing sweats and a T-shirt, but contrary to Francisco, Bagoas wasn't wearing any footwear. "You dance barefooted?"

"That's the way I always dance. Is that a problem?" Bagoas placed his rucksack on the floor and walked toward Francisco. "As I said before, I am not classically trained. I don't know any ballet."

"That is not a problem." Francisco had selected some songs for their session and pushed the play button. The melody that echoed through the studio sounded oriental. "Why don't you stretch and warm up and then show me what you can do?" He seated himself on the floor, stretched his legs, and watched Bagoas closely. He had been right that first time around – the other man possessed a natural grace which made all his movements look easy.

Bagoas stretched, warmed up his muscles, and then considered what to do. "My dancing is nothing like yours."

"I don't mind." Francisco took a moment to admire the grace and elegance that flowed through Bagoas' frame. "Just show me." 

The dance which Bagoas carried out took his breath away. Not because it was technically perfect, but because of the sheer sensuality of the movements. This wasn't dancing – this was seduction – and he couldn't help growing hard during Bagoas' performance. 

Bagoas finally came to a halt and, as he panted softly, his eyes sought out Francisco's, to find out if the other dancer had liked his performance. 

"You are talented," Francisco said once he trusted his vocal cords to cooperate. "It is a shame that you are too old to be trained, though." Most dancers started at a tender age and, sadly enough, Bagoas was already too old. No one would take him in and train him. 

"My dancing is good enough for me and for my lovers. I don't need any special training." With satisfaction, Bagoas registered the surprise in Francisco's eyes at hearing his words.

"Your lovers?" Had he heard correctly?

"Didn't Jared tell you? I have two male lovers." Bagoas decided to tease Francisco just a little and gave him a wink. 

Francisco wasn't certain if Bagoas was pulling his leg or telling him the truth – he would ask Jared the next time they met. "Your dancing actually reminds me of the way I danced during 'Alexander'." 

/That dance was probably inspired on one I did over two thousand years ago./ But Bagoas didn't speak the words out loud; he didn't need Francisco to know who he was or to convince the dancer that he was dealing with the real Bagoas. He had found his place in the world and was happy being Bagoas, Alexander and Hephaestion's lover.

~~~

After practicing his dancing with Francisco, he had said goodbye and Bagoas had headed into London by himself, enjoying his freedom. He found a nice coffee shop, drank some espresso, and had a bite to eat. 

After returning to the hotel, Shannon knocked on his door and Bagoas accompanied the band to their second gig. It was a strange, liberating feeling that was taking possession of him and Bagoas liked this new side to his personality. 

And so ended the third day of his stay in London.

~~~

"We'll take you to Heathrow," Shannon announced as Bagoas opened the door for him. 

Before he could do anything to stop Shannon, the other man had taken hold of his suit case and was dragging it toward the elevator. Bagoas quickly closed the door behind him and followed Shannon into the lift. 

"I'm sorry to see you go," Shannon said once the lift door had closed. "I was beginning to like you." Giving Bagoas a teasing smile, he let him know that they were on their way to becoming friends. He really wished Bagoas had been able to stay with the band longer. "Maybe we'll do this again some time?"

"Why don't you give me a call when you are touring in Greece? Just ask Jared, he has my number." 

Shannon extended his hand and smiled at Bagoas when the other man shook it. "You're okay."

"Thank you, I think." Bagoas returned the teasing look. 

The doors opened and they stepped out of the elevator. Jared was already waiting for them in the lobby and the three of them made their way into the parking lot. The drive to Heathrow Airport would take them one hour, if there weren't any traffic jams. 

Shannon drove while Jared seated himself next to Bagoas on the back seat. 

"Did you like staying with us? I did, and Shannon did too." Jared had collected one of Bagoas' hands in his and rubbed the long fingers.

"I loved spending time with you and going to the gigs." The only thing that he hadn't really enjoyed was going to the nightclub, but some good had come out of it, as Shannon had accepted him and started to befriend him. 

"I already told him that we're sorry to see him go," Shannon said as he maneuvered the car through the busy traffic. "We should do this again."

"We will," Bagoas said, looking deeply into Jared's eyes. "We will… and that's my promise to you."

~~~

Jared released Bagoas reluctantly from his hold. He had given Bagoas a long hug now that the younger man was about to board the plane. "We'll stay in touch."

Bagoas nodded his head once and placed a chaste kiss on Jared's brow. "We will."

Shannon then stepped up to Bagoas and shuffled his feet. Seeing Jared hug Bagoas made him want to do it too, but he wasn't certain Bagoas would allow that, so he extended his hand instead. "It was really nice meeting and getting to know you, Bagoas. You're okay," he repeated his former statement and gave Bagoas a shy smile. 

"Come on, give him a hug! I know you want to!" Jared had learned to read his brother's body language when they had been growing up and he resolutely pushed Shannon into Bagoas' arms. 

Bagoas had opened his arms and caught Shannon in them. "You're okay too, Shannon."

Shannon smiled and then took a step away from Bagoas. Bagoas walked away from them, raised his hand, and waved at them. Shannon and Jared watched Bagoas until the other man had disappeared from view. "I'll miss him." 

Shannon's words made Jared laugh. "That was my reaction as well when I said goodbye that first time. Admit it, you like him!"

"I do. There's something about him which I like… A certain quality…" 

Jared wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulder and started to pull him toward the exit. "Don't worry, we'll see him again. This isn't the last time we saw him." They would keep in touch and meet again – he was sure of that.

~~~

This time around, the gods had mercy on Bagoas. It was a smooth flight into Athens without any turbulence and when Bagoas exited the plane, he felt excited as he was about to be reunited with his lovers. 

~~~

"Alexander, stop moving about!" Alexander was driving him crazy. First, Alexander had pushed him to leave their home early and so they had arrived at the airport too early as well. Then, Alexander had taken up pacing and once the display showed that Bagoas' plane had landed, he seemed to be bouncing. Hephaestion shook his head. "What has gotten into you?"

"Bagoas is home again!" Alexander shot him a radiant smile. 

"I know that, you silly…" Hephaestion didn't get the chance to finish his sentence as he suddenly found himself with a handful of Bagoas, who had literally jumped him in the center of the arrivals' hall.

Alexander's reaction was instant and he jumped Bagoas in turn. They ended up hugging and kissing each other, not only drawing the other passengers' attention, but chuckles from bystanders as well. 

"Let me look at you!" Alexander had finally managed to grab hold of Bagoas' waist and now turned his lover around so he could study his face. "You look great!" The time in London had obviously done Bagoas a world of good.

"Oh, I am so glad to be back!" Bagoas hugged Hephaestion close and buried his face in his lover's auburn hair. "I missed this! I missed you – both of you!"

"Alexander, why don't you collect Bagoas' suit case? Then we can leave for home." Hephaestion thought it smart to direct Alexander's energy in a positive way and Alexander promptly sprinted away. "How was your time in London? Did you enjoy spending time with Jared?"

"I did. I also liked spending time with his brother, Shannon. And then I met Francisco as well! Do you think we can invite them over some time?"

"All three of them? We only have one spare room, my love."

"They can stay at a hotel if necessary!"

"Of course we will. If you want them to visit, we will let them know." Hephaestion fingered a lock of Bagoas' hair as Alexander joined them again, carrying Bagoas' suit case. They had a three-hour drive ahead of them, and Hephaestion reckoned Bagoas would use that time to tell them about his stay in London.

~~~

Bagoas finally grew quiet when Alexander drove up to their cottage. He had been talking non stop, telling them about everything he had experienced in London, but all that now faded into the background.

Alexander parked the car, switched off the engine, and opened the car door. Hephaestion followed his example and both of them turned around when they realized that Bagoas wasn't joining them. 

"Bagoas, what's wrong?" Hephaestion returned to the car, opened the door, and waited for Bagoas to get out. 

Bagoas drew in a deep breath, stared at the cottage for a long time, and then directed his gaze at Hephaestion and Alexander, who had come to stand beside his auburn-haired lover. 

He had done a lot of growing up during these last few years. His life had changed for the better since the moment he had run into Alexander and Hephaestion. They had supported him throughout the time of his healing and had never let him down. Bagoas wrapped one arm around Alexander's waist and the other around Hephaestion's. 

"What is it?" Alexander was growing worried as Bagoas continued to act in such an odd way. 

"The two of you rocked my world, do you know that?" Bagoas smiled at them and leaned against them, resting his head against Hephaestion's chest. "I am home – I am finally home – body *and* soul."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Memories Fade

 

There's only need  
I love your need  
So much I'm losing me  
I cannot see the reason for the Pain  
With hungry joy  
I'll be your toy  
Just hoping you will play  
Without the hope my body starts to fail

Memories fade but the scars still linger  
Goodbye my friend  
Will I ever love again  
Memories fade but the scars still linger

I cannot grow  
I cannot move  
I cannot feel my age  
The vice like grip of tension holds me fast  
Engulfed by you  
What can I do  
When History's my cage  
Look forward to a future in the past

 

(Fragment from Memories Fade by Tears for Fears)

 

 

Part 1

 

# The day had been an extremely bad day. His mother had taken out her anger on him instead of Philip, and his father had done exactly the same thing to him. Alexander was fed up with their behavior, as well as deeply hurt by their demeanor toward him and each other. And so he turned to the only person he trusted and that was his Hephaestion. No matter how cruel life treated him, Hephaestion was there for him, listened to him, and counseled him. Hephaestion was the only one he could call upon for support. He didn't quite know why he trusted the other boy, but he had realized a long time ago that a deep connection ran between them.

 

"Tell me, Alexander. What happened today?" Hephaestion sat down next to Alexander on the bench and gave him a pondering look. They always met there – in the woods – after their lessons and he had grown fond of these meetings.

 

Alexander and Hephaestion were fifteen and sixteen now and already considered young adults. Yet, they continued to meet with each other and confide in each other, while custom demanded they sought out an older mentor instead. But Hephaestion had never felt drawn toward any one else. Alexander was his life – the other boy was his everything. And it was no secret that Alexander felt the same way where Hephaestion was concerned.

 

"I hate my parents." Alexander peeked at his other half. They were seldom seen apart and Hephaestion had been called his shadow on more than one occasion. Wherever he was, there was Hephaestion.

 

"Don't let them get to you in that way." Hephaestion wrapped an arm around his friend. He didn't remember when he had first realized that he felt more than just friendship for Alexander, but the feeling had been growing stronger every day. He would do everything within his power to make Alexander happy.

 

"Hephaestion?" Alexander looked at the boy – no, young man – seated next to him and was overcome by feelings he couldn't label. "My mother hates me because I love and side with my father and Philip hates me because he can't be certain that I am really his son. What should I do?" He had never spoken about the troubles in his family so openly before – not even to Hephaestion – but had only hinted.

 

Hephaestion realized the trust he was given and placed his hands on either side of Alexander's head. "Be at peace with yourself, Alexander. You know who you are."

 

Hephaestion's words made Alexander smile and woke a hunger inside him. For some time now, he had felt more than just friendship toward Hephaestion. The other boy was his other half – Hephaestion was the only one he could trust – he was his support. "I love you," he declared rather unexpectedly, surprising both Hephaestion and himself. "I love you, Hephaestion."

 

Hephaestion blinked at hearing those words. He had always wanted to hear them, but had never thought he would. "I love you too, Alexander."

 

Alexander nodded. Hephaestion's love always surrounded him – was always very palpable. "Promise me something, Hephaestion."

"What?" Hephaestion stared at Alexander, who was in the process of getting to his feet. Alexander pulled himself upright as well and, as always, Hephaestion followed where Alexander led him. Suddenly, Alexander's hands found their way beneath his tunic and they settled on the curve of his buttocks.

 

"Promise me that you will love me forever." Alexander leaned in closer and claimed Hephaestion's lips with all his might. He was finally ready to stake his claim. He had already waited too long in order to do so. He had seen others look appreciatively at Hephaestion, even his father and Cleitus had been among the ones to simply devour Hephaestion's form with their eyes. "Promise me that you will never take another lover. That you will love me for the rest of your life."

 

Hephaestion felt light-headed. He was drunk on Alexander's words – words he had wanted to hear for the last year. "I am yours, how can you doubt that I belong to you. Don't you know that my soul is yours? That we are one?" He gasped as he felt Alexander's hands squeeze his buttocks. Was it finally going to happen? The thing he had dreamt of for so long? "I am yours, Alexander. Come and claim me."

 

Alexander didn't need more encouragement than that. He had dreamt of claiming Hephaestion for months. He brought his arms up behind Hephaestion's back and pulled him close. One hand traveled downward and resolutely removed the loincloth Hephaestion was wearing.

 

His erection bobbed free and Hephaestion released a surprised sigh once Alexander's fingers were wrapping themselves around his cock. "Now? Like this?"

 

Alexander nodded his head once and then claimed Hephaestion's lips in a brutal kiss. "Yes now, and like this." He did away with his own loincloth and pressed Hephaestion's back against the trunk of an oak tree. "Why did we deny each other for so long?" His cock was already trying to push past Hephaestion's guardian ring and Alexander panted excitedly.

 

Hephaestion bit his bottom lip until it bled. Alexander was pushing inside and it burned. Without any means of lubrication it was bound to hurt, but he was so high on adrenaline that he didn't really register the pain. The only fact that *did* register with him was that Alexander had sheathed himself and was now buried to the hilt.

 

Alexander guided Hephaestion's arms around his shoulders and encouraged his lover to wrap his legs around his waist. As a result, Hephaestion was now suspended in the air and he clung to Alexander for support. Unable to think rationally, Alexander thrust upward. Hephaestion had always had this effect on him – with Hephaestion, Alexander was able to let go. "You are mine, Hephaestion, until the day we die." He thrust again and Hephaestion thrashed in his arms like mad. Encouraged by his lover's passionate reaction, Alexander set a punishing rhythm.

 

They reached completion much too soon. Alexander released his seed inside his lover's passage and pulled Hephaestion close to him. It was almost like he could see the connection running between them: a golden glow that included them both. "I love you, Hephaestion."

 

Hephaestion however was lost in the throes of his own orgasm and failed to assure Alexander of his love in turn.

 

The two young men clung to each other and it took all of Alexander's strength to support his lover. Slowly, he went down onto his knees and then lowered a debauched looking Hephaestion onto the grass. "You are my life, Hephaestion. Without you, I would wither away -- I would die."

 

Hephaestion was quite suddenly jolted from the post-orgasm bliss he had been in. "Never say such a thing! You are much stronger than that! Than me! You are the most amazing person I ever met and you are strong! Much stronger than you think!"

 

Alexander rested his head against Hephaestion's chest and closed his eyes. "No, I am not. I am weak without you."

 

Hephaestion felt at a loss; how was he supposed to reassure Alexander that wasn't the case? "Alexander…?" He winced as he tried to push himself upright.

 

Alexander's features immediately darkened. "Did I hurt you?" Making love to Hephaestion was something he hadn't planned and yet, the fact that they would become intimate had been inevitable.

 

"I will be sore for the next few days," Hephaestion replied, still wincing. He briefly closed his eyes and managed to lock out the discomfort. "But it was worth it."

 

"Our first time." Alexander felt flooded with concern for his beloved Hephaestion. He had promised himself to cherish and protect him – to always love and satisfy him. "You do know that I am your slave?"

 

Hephaestion smiled and ran his fingers through the blond mane. "You want to be my slave? My personal love slave?" He couldn't help teasing Alexander just a little.

 

"For all eternity." Alexander lowered his head so he could lick one of Hephaestion's nipples. "I wouldn't want it any other way. We are meant to be together."

 

Hephaestion nodded once. "I share that belief."

 

Cuddling up together they enjoyed the aftereffects of their lovemaking and whispered sweet, soft words into each other's ears. Nothing could ever tear them apart—nothing but death that was!

 

~~~

 

Sharing a bed that night was familiar and yet, at the same time so very different. They had slept in the same bed whenever they could: starting at childhood, but there had never before been this sexual component to it.

 

Alexander had curled himself around Hephaestion and nuzzled his lover's neck. Deeply inhaling the masculine and slightly salty scent, his fingers caressed Hephaestion's side. "Are you still smiling?" Hephaestion hadn't stopped smiling since their lovemaking, but as Alexander lay spooned behind his lover, he couldn't see Hephaestion's face.

 

"Yes, I am." Hephaestion chuckled and pressed back against Alexander. He was still high on endorphins and couldn't stop feeling the way he had felt when Alexander had finally claimed him.

 

Alexander's mood sobered. "Did I hurt you? If so, I want to apologize. I didn't even stop to prepare you."

 

Hephaestion closed his eyes and released a deep sigh. Alexander's arms held him in a protective embrace and he couldn't remember ever having felt so right before. "I am sore… I will probably still be sore in the morning."

 

"We are supposed to train tomorrow." Running and horseback riding were on their schedule tomorrow. "I should have…"

 

Hephaestion couldn't bear hearing the guilt in Alexander's voice and turned in the embrace until he was face to face with Alexander. His lover's brown eyes had darkened, which was a sure sign that Alexander was worried. "Don't you dare feel guilty for making love to me! I will bear the discomfort, Alexander."

 

"I promise I will make it up to you tomorrow evening, my beloved Hephaestion." Alexander pressed a chaste kiss onto his lover's lips. "And now you should sleep. You had a very tiring day."

 

Hephaestion arched an eyebrow. "And you didn't?"

"It was different for me. I wasn't on the receiving end."

 

"Alexander?"

 

"Yes?" A frown appeared on Alexander's brow as he saw the sudden uncertainty in Hephaestion's blue eyes.

 

"Did you mean it? After we made love… When you said that you love me?"

 

Alexander was stunned that Hephaestion could ask such a question after having made love less than an hour ago. "Do you doubt my love for you?"

 

"I…" Hephaestion bit his bottom lip and tried to find a way to phrase his question in a diplomatic way. "Do you want us to be – us – or…?"

 

Confused, Alexander shook his head. He slid his fingers through his lover's auburn mane and searched the soul-deep eyes. Hephaestion had never been able to hide any feelings from him and now he read hope and fear in them. "What are you trying to tell me?"

 

"Will there be others? Do you want to take others – except for me? Or…?"

 

Alexander finally caught on. "Hephaestion, *you* have my love and no one else ever will. Even if I were to bed someone, for whatever reason, I will never love them as much as I love you. I will never deny our love, not even in public. I want the world to know that I love you."

 

A peaceful feeling came over Hephaestion and he smiled at Alexander. His lover's fingers massaged his scalp and played with locks of his hair. "I always knew that you were the only one for me, Alexander. I knew it the first time I saw you."

 

"May Zeus be my witness that I take you as my mate and that I will always love and honor you. I will never betray your love or the loyalty you have shown me." Alexander traced Hephaestion's eyebrow with his fingertip and lost himself staring into those wide, joy-filled eyes. "I am yours, Hephaestion – always."#

 

~~~

 

"Is that also how you remember it, Hephaestion?" Alexander was trying out a new writing style and had exchanged writing in the first person for writing in the third. It felt less intense that way and he hoped it would stop his writing from turning into plain porn like his prior snippets had.

 

"Remember what?" Hephaestion walked over to the couch and looked at the screen from over Alexander's shoulder. The blond man had raised his feet and they rested on the coffee table. The laptop – Hephaestion's – was balanced on his knees.

 

"Our first time," Alexander explained in a cheeky voice. "I still feel sorry for taking you that way. You were a virgin and I should have prepared you. It's a miracle that our first time together didn't leave you traumatized. In retrospect, I would have understood if you had refused being on the bottom again after the brutal way I claimed you."

 

"I was so high on endorphins that I barely noticed any pain. I was in some discomfort later on, yes, but I never was in any real pain." Hephaestion made his way around the couch and sat down next to Alexander. He continued to read Alexander's snippet and occasionally peeked at his lover. "Can I tell you a secret?"

 

Alexander looked up from the screen and gazed into Hephaestion's eyes. "A secret? Did you manage to keep something from me?"

 

Hephaestion nodded. "Promise me that you won't use it in one of your snippets."

 

"I promise." By now, Alexander had detected the serious tone in Hephaestion's voice. It was obvious that his lover wanted to confide something to him that at one time had greatly bothered him.

 

"I was scared," Hephaestion murmured while giving Alexander an apologetic look. "I was scared that it would only be a one-time affair and that you would tire of me."

 

"So that's why you asked me if I wanted to take other lovers." Hephaestion's questions back then now made sense to Alexander. "Hephaestion, I love you, you do know that by now, don't you?"

 

"I do." Hephaestion leaned in closer and rested his head against Alexander's shoulder. "I was so young back then – we both were – but things were different for you. You were destined to be a King one day and… I was uncertain of my future place in your life. It appeared to me that you would want to wed and sire children. There would have been no place for me in your life if you had."

 

Alexander closed the laptop and placed it on the couch next to him. Then he turned toward Hephaestion and wrapped his lover in his arms. "If only we had talked more... Communicated better. But I was too impatient for that and not mature enough to listen to your advice."

 

"But that has changed now." Hephaestion rubbed his cheek against Alexander's shoulder. An unsettling feeling was trying to take possession of him and Hephaestion felt the need to chase it away. "I must admit that I have way more pleasurable memories of our second time together, Alexander."

 

Alexander laughed warmly. "I remember our second time, Hephaestion. Mind if I make it into a snippet?"

 

"I don't, but you know my condition."

 

"I'll let you read it, my dear Hephaestion."

 

Hephaestion raised his head and gazed into Alexander's eyes, which carried an open and warm expression. "I can't wait to read then."

 

~~~

 

#Alexander was determined to be more considerate of his lover's need in the future. The day after they had made love the first time, their instructors put them through a grueling training schedule. Alexander had winced in sympathy each time he saw the discomfort in Hephaestion's eyes when they were told to gallop. That evening, he pampered Hephaestion in an effort to make up for his oversights.

 

"What are you doing, Alexander?" Hephaestion had promptly curled up on the bed once they had returned to the room they shared. He felt exhausted and it wasn't only due to the training. He still felt sore and his lower body throbbed occasionally, sending a stabbing pain through him. "Can't you come back in here so we can go to sleep?" Alexander had disappeared into the bathroom and Hephaestion was too tired to see what his lover was up to. He did hear water splashing, so he assumed that Alexander was cleaning himself up. If only he had the strength to do the same. He was covered in dust and dirt. "Alexander?"

 

Alexander finally stepped out of the bathroom and approached the bed. Hephaestion's eyes widened as he saw that his lover was still naked. "You are still covered in grime. I assumed you had cleaned up."

 

"Not yet." Alexander sat down on the side of the bed and brushed dust-covered strands of hair away from Hephaestion's face. His lover had managed to remove the armor they had trained in, but that was about it. Hephaestion still wore his tunic, loincloth, and boots. "I prepared a bath."

 

"I am too tired, Alexander, and I…" Hephaestion groaned as he shifted on the bed. His insides felt on fire.

 

"Let me do the work." Alexander first removed Hephaestion's boots and then reached for the tunic. "Can you sit up for me?"

 

"Must I?" Sitting up would put pressure on his bottom.#

 

~~~

 

"You're getting better at putting yourself in my position," Hephaestion commented as he watched Alexander type away. "Did you feel guilty for taking me like that? Or are these creative touches you're only adding now?"

 

"I felt guilty all right," Alexander explained. His fingers had stopped typing and now waited for Hephaestion's sign that he could continue his snippet. "And I did want to pamper you. I know I should have taken better care of you during our first time."

 

"Hearing that means a lot to me." Hephaestion snuggled up to Alexander and smiled privately. "Now continue typing."

 

~~~

 

#"Can't we do this another time?" Hephaestion surrendered to Alexander's ministrations and let his lover remove his tunic. He was sitting up and doing so had intensified the ache in his lower body. "I just want to lie down and go to sleep."

 

"Not yet." Alexander made quick work of Hephaestion's loincloth and then pulled him to his feet. Hephaestion winced and his lover's features contorted, making Alexander feeling even guiltier. "I promise I will never treat you like that again."

 

"Alexander…" Hephaestion murmured Alexander's name, but then forgot what he had wanted to say. He was almost asleep on his feet.

 

Alexander wrapped an arm around his lover's waist and walked Hephaestion into the bathroom, wondering what his beloved's reaction would be like upon seeing the trouble he had gone through to make tonight special.

 

"When did you do this?" Hephaestion instantly felt awake. The soft glow of candles spread a warm light through the bathroom. They had strategically been placed around the giant wooden bath tub, which stood in the center of the room. Rose petals floated on the surface of the water.

 

"I stole away from training for one hour earlier today and gathered the roses. Picking the petals off the stems took the longest. Do you like it?"#

 

~~~

 

"That you did that meant a lot to me," Hephaestion stated as he placed his fingers atop Alexander's to stop him from typing. He wanted Alexander's attention to be fully focused on him when he spoke next. "It was the first time that I realized there was a romantic side to you."

 

"I cut my fingers removing the petals… Those thorns were sharp." Alexander gave Hephaestion an adoring look. "Seeing the expression in your eyes was worth it." It had also been the first time that he had seen their blue color change from blue to violet.

 

~~~

 

#"I do, Alexander, I like it a lot." He just wished he didn't feel tired to the bone.

 

Alexander helped Hephaestion settle down in the bath tub and then joined his lover in the water, sitting behind him. The rose petals brushed against their bodies and the tension finally fled his lover's strong shoulders. "Just try to enjoy this." He reached for the soap and began to clean his lover up. Alexander also washed the long hair, rinsed it, and finger-combed the strands until the worst tangles were gone. "Are you still awake?"

 

"Barely." Hephaestion's reply was nothing but a sleep-heavy whisper. The bath had done him good. The ache deep inside him had lessened, but exhaustion was making him sway.

 

Alexander quickly steadied his lover and pondered his next dilemma. It was obvious that Hephaestion lacked the strength to return to their bed on his own and that forced him into action. Hephaestion was bulkier and heavier than he was and lifting him took most of Alexander's strength.

 

"What are you…doing?" Hephaestion tried to raise his tired head, but failed to do so.

 

Alexander placed Hephaestion on a stool and, while keeping him upright with one hand, he reached for the towels with his other. He rubbed Hephaestion's skin dry, tried to get most of the water out of the auburn mane, and then pushed his arms beneath Hephaestion's back and knees. "I will take good care of you, my Hephaestion." He had never taken care of Hephaestion in this way before and was surprised at how much he liked doing this for his lover. Looking after Hephaestion made him feel needed and he loved feeling needed.

 

In the end, they managed to reach the bed and Alexander lowered his charge onto the straw-filled mattress. "I will join you in a moment." He was still dripping wet and quickly picked up a towel to dry his skin. A minute later, he slid into place behind Hephaestion and pulled him close.

 

"Do you still hurt?" Alexander waited and waited, but didn't receive an answer. Then it dawned on him that his lover had succumbed to exhaustion and had fallen asleep. "I love you," he whispered and pressed a kiss against Hephaestion's temple. "I love you more than life itself."#

 

~~~

 

"I like the way that sounds." Hephaestion had changed position and had stretched out on the couch. His head rested in Alexander's lap, which made typing a bit awkward, but Alexander was managing surprisingly well. "I had forgotten about that bath."

 

"You were exhausted," Alexander retorted in a forgiving voice. "You fell asleep while I made my way back into our bedroom."

 

"But I do remember what happened the next morning."

 

~~~

 

#The next morning Alexander woke to gentle kissing. His eyes fluttered open and he stared at Hephaestion, who had wrapped his arms and legs around him sometime during the night. The azure eyes were free of any pain and shone rapturously at him. There was a wicked gleam to those pools of blue and Alexander's body instantly reacted to it. He was growing hard and, judging by the way Hephaestion was rubbing himself against him, his lover was in need of release as well.

 

But Alexander felt reluctant to act upon their need. He wanted nothing more than to make love to Hephaestion again, and relive the sweet sensation, but he remained cautious, recalling the discomfort Hephaestion had been in that first time. "Maybe we shouldn't do this yet." Hephaestion gave him a smile that told him otherwise and the pressure in his groin tightened. He was as taut as a bowstring and ready to aim for his target.

 

"Maybe we should..." Hephaestion shifted against Alexander, reached for something beneath his pillow, and presented the glass vial to his lover. "Use this."

 

Alexander swallowed hard, suddenly growing nervous. When he had taken Hephaestion that first time, it had happened in the spur of the moment. They had been working their way toward that moment and when it had happened, it had been an intense and overpowering experience. This time, he wanted it to be different. "Are you certain? There are other ways we can pleasure ourselves."

 

"I am certain, Alexander." Hephaestion put the emphasis on the name and gave his lover a challenging look. "Make it good."

 

Alexander grew even more nervous once he realized just how much Hephaestion trusted him to take care of him. "Why don't you move onto your other side for me?"

 

Hephaestion gave him a quick kiss on the lips before turning away from Alexander. His lover now lay spooned behind him and Alexander's cock already pressed against the entrance to his body.#

 

~~~

 

"You're really fond of using that word, aren't you?" Hephaestion winked at Alexander.

 

Alexander had the grace to blush. "I do. What else do you want me to use? Member? Organ?"

 

Hephaestion chuckled and the smile reached his eyes, warmed them, and made them sparkle. "Go ahead then and use the word 'cock' as many times as you like." Since his head still rested on Alexander's lap however, he instantly noticed the effect of him saying that word had on his lover. "Do you like to hear me say that? Cock?"

 

"Stop it, or else I won't be able to finish." Hephaestion could be wicked at times.

 

Hephaestion decided to go easy on Alexander and stayed quiet – for now.

 

~~~

 

#This time, Alexander took his time preparing his lover. He poured the oil over his fingers and worked his way past the guardian muscle. He proceeded carefully, reminding himself that he didn't want to leave Hephaestion sore again. Hephaestion moaned and pressed back and Alexander added more oil so he could insert another digit. "Tell me if I go too fast or if it hurts."

 

"Would you stop if it did?" Hephaestion looked at his lover from over his shoulder. These were the moments where he felt connected to Alexander the most.

 

"It might kill me, but I would." Alexander resolutely nodded his head. Moving his fingers inside Hephaestion's passage, he took his time stretching the channel. "The expression in your eyes is amazing. Do you know that your eyes can change color? They go from blue to violet."

 

Hephaestion began to chuckle, but quickly stopped as it caused his inner muscles to involuntarily clench around Alexander's fingers. "Then why don't you do your best to make them change color again?"

 

Alexander growled softly, nipped playfully at Hephaestion's throat, and removed his fingers from the now loosened passage. Coating his cock with oil, he positioned himself behind Hephaestion. "I want to be like this for the rest of our lives."

 

"I will always be with you, Alexander, always." Hephaestion steadied his breathing once Alexander began sheathing himself. The bulk inside him continued to grow and he threw back his head the moment Alexander had buried himself completely. "That feels…"

 

"How does it feel?" Alexander kept still – he didn’t move at all. He wanted to savor this moment – this connection – and reckoned it was the same for Hephaestion. "Tell me."

 

"It feels good – intense. You are a part of me now." Hephaestion kept his head tilted so he could look at his lover. "I like that." Alexander's first thrust made him yelp and Hephaestion curled his fingers around his erection. He stroked firmly, wanting for them to reach completion together.

 

"I won't last long. Oh, the things you do to me." Alexander felt afloat on emotions. The clenching sensation around his cock took him by surprise and the next thing he heard was Hephaestion howling his name. Apparently his lover hadn't lasted long either. Alexander came hard and bit Hephaestion's shoulder during the moment of his climax. He was biting above the collar, wanting everyone to see that he had finally claimed Hephaestion.

 

Alexander wrapped his arms around Hephaestion's trembling frame and held him close. They rode the waves of orgasm together, but eventually the sensations faded and left them wanting more. Alexander groaned in disappointment as his softened flesh left Hephaestion's body. "I want to be inside you longer."

 

"There will be other times when we will make love." Hephaestion slowly turned in the embrace until he was on his back. Staring at the ceiling, he tried to bring his erratic breathing back under control again. "Alexander?" He turned his head and looked into the brown eyes.

 

"What is it?" Entranced, Alexander stared at his lover's now violet eyes. They were an amazing sight to behold.

 

"Promise me that you will never stop loving me." Alexander had made him promise the same thing.

 

"Oh, my Hephaestion! How can you even think that I would stop loving you? Don't you know how important you are to me?" Alexander wanted to shake Hephaestion until his lover believed him.

 

Unwilling to get into an argument now, Hephaestion cuddled up to Alexander and rested his head on his lover's chest. /Just never stop loving me./#

 

~~~

 

Hephaestion had to know. "Did I really make such an insecure impression on you?" He pushed himself into a sitting position, took hold of his laptop, and placed it on the coffee table. Next, he straddled his lover's hips and placed his hands on either side of Alexander's face. "Did I?"

 

Alexander shrugged. "Maybe a little, but the ladies like it when I add a bit more drama to the snippets."

 

"You're writing for your audience then?" Hephaestion cringed at the thought that Alexander had – in his own way – published his work.

 

"You have no idea how popular we have become since the discovery of our tomb – and our love." Alexander brought his hands up behind Hephaestion's back and held his lover close. "They are begging me to write more. And they want me to include Bagoas."

 

"Sounds like you established quite a fan base." Hephaestion didn't know if he should feel proud of Alexander or horrified.

 

"Just be glad that I didn't offer my work to the publisher you sold your book on Aristotle to. My work might have shocked him." Alexander fingered a lock of Hephaestion's auburn hair.

 

"He would never have accepted your work for publication."

 

"Maybe I should send it to the film industry instead. They could make our adventures into a series."

 

"The gay adventures of Alexander the Great, co-starring Hephaestion." Hephaestion shuddered. "No, thank you."

 

"What if they got Jared and Colin to play our parts?" Alexander felt wicked and loved seeing Hephaestion blush.

 

"Promise me that you won't tell Bagoas any of this…"

 

"And why's that, Hephaestion?"

 

"He might insist you pair him with Jared."

 

TBC

 

Part 2

 

Bagoas blinked and pressed his face against the window. Overnight, their little patch of paradise had become a snowy landscape in virginal white. He had seen snow before, but that had been during his childhood in the cities. In the orphanage, and later in the brothels, he had never been allowed to play much – let alone play in the snow. So it wasn't surprising that his inner child demanded he make up for the loss now.

 

Looking at his lovers from over his shoulder, he decided not to wake them yet. The three of them had made love last night and they deserved to sleep in. A smile surfaced on his face now that he was thinking back to the tender way Hephaestion had claimed him. Alexander had watched them make love and, once Hephaestion had found release, Alexander had moved in between Bagoas' knees to continue the sensual seduction. Bagoas had come after only a few thrusts and so had Alexander. The three of them had cuddled up together. The order in which they slept in had shifted of late.

 

In the beginning it had been Bagoas wedged in the middle, with Hephaestion spooned behind him and Alexander sleeping in front of him. Knowing they were on either side had made him feel safe and loved. But, of late, it was Hephaestion who slept in the middle with Alexander behind him and Bagoas in front of him, facing him. The break down Hephaestion had suffered that day in the tomb had made both Alexander and Bagoas much more aware of the fact that Hephaestion was only human and that he needed to lean on them at times. That realization showed best in the way they slept, holding each other.

 

Bagoas left them to their sleep and slipped into his room. He seldom used it and it had become somewhat of a guest and storage room. Bagoas rummaged through the closet until he found the clothes he had been looking for. The parka made of thick insulating material still lay untouched in its box and Bagoas ran his fingers over it. Slipping into his jeans, T-shirt, sweater, and two pairs of warm socks took him a few minutes, but he managed. Uncovering the sturdy mountain boots he had bought on their last trip to Athens, he struggled into them. The last thing he put on was the parka and he zipped it tightly. Now he felt ready to go outside.

 

As he made his way to the front door, he passed by a mirror and Bagoas had to chuckle at his reflection. He looked like some alien life form, but he wasn't going to take any chances. He had already caught two colds this winter.

 

Peritas, who had been asleep on the couch, lifted his head to see where Bagoas was going.

 

"Be quiet now. I'll be right back!" Bagoas closed the door behind him and stepped into the snow. The glaring white almost hurt his eyes and he had to shield them for the first few minutes. Then his eyes became more used to the brightness and Bagoas took another step away from the cottage. Bending down, he pushed his hands into the snow and let the white substance run through his fingers. Damn, that was cold!

 

He had put some gloves into his pocket before leaving his room, but he didn't want to put them on straight away. The snow might be cold, but at least he felt its chill in this way. He made the snow into a ball and threw it at the skies. Feeling silly, he broke out into a run. The piled snow however tripped him and he tumbled face-first onto the white blanket. Instead of cursing his awkward movements, he burst out in giggles. Rolling onto his back, he moved his arms and legs, creating a snow angel. He had always wanted to do that!

 

His fingers were growing numb due to the cold and Bagoas slipped the gloves on. Sitting upright, he tried to decide what to do next. /A snow man. I always wanted to build one!/

 

Now that he had made up his mind, Bagoas started to build his very first snow man.

 

~~~

 

"Alexander, come over here. You've got to see this!" Hephaestion chuckled. He had woken a few minutes ago and had casually looked out the window on his way over to the bathroom. That was when he had halted in his tracks to behold the scene below.

 

Hephaestion pulled the blanket which he was using instead of his morning robe tighter around his frame. It was a cold day and some of the chill had found its way past the window and into their bedroom.

 

"What is it?" What had caught Hephaestion's attention? Alexander made his way over to his lover, not bothering to cover himself up. The cold didn't affect him as much as it did Bagoas and Hephaestion. Bagoas was the most susceptible to the cold though. Alexander looked in the direction Hephaestion was pointing in and burst out laughing. "That's one very erect snow man!"

 

"I do hope he isn't visible from the road. People might wonder what perverts live here." Hephaestion goodheartedly teased Alexander back. It was only Bagoas who could come up with making a snow man with a hard on. "He looks like he's enjoying himself."

 

Alexander took another step and now stood behind Hephaestion. He wrapped his arms around his lover and rested his chin on Hephaestion's shoulder. "I doubt he had much of a childhood."

 

"And now he's making up for it." Hephaestion leaned back into Alexander's embrace and felt happy right there, right then. "Sometimes I can’t believe that this is real."

 

"It's real, Hephaestion. We're real. Our home's real." Alexander pressed a kiss onto the soft skin of Hephaestion's throat and closed his eyes while deeply inhaling the familiar scent. "And it's Christmas in a month's time."

 

"Christmas?" Hephaestion arched an eyebrow. "Why are you bringing up Christmas?" They had lived here for three years and had never bothered to celebrate the holiday or decorate the house.

 

"Because I've been watching Bagoas. I have the feeling he might enjoy celebrating it this year." Alexander cocked his head and had to admit, "And maybe I'm also ready to party."

 

Hephaestion smiled. When he had still lived with his father they had always decorated the house and made a big show out of celebrating Christmas. "We can do that."

 

Alexander nuzzled Hephaestion's neck and couldn't get enough of inhaling his lover's scent. It felt comforting to have Hephaestion this close. "We should probably get dressed and join him in the snow." It had been years since he'd had a chance to throw some snow balls. "And later on, I'll spoil the two of you with some hot chocolate and whipped cream." It was his favorite drink for the winter time.

 

~~~

 

A snow ball hit the back of Bagoas' head and, startled, Bagoas spun around to see where the missile had originated from.

 

Mayhem approached in the form of a grinning Alexander, who hadn't bothered to pile the clothes on as much as Bagoas had. Dressed in his favorite pair of faded jeans, boots, and a thick, woolen sweater, he was already busy forming another snow ball. "The battle is on!" Alexander felt he had given his lover enough of a warning and launched the snow ball.

 

This time, Bagoas ducked and the missile failed to hit its target. "Alexander!"

 

"Hey, are you going to hump him? He might be a bit cold, though!" Alexander laughed loudly and pointed at the snow man's impressive erection. "You have a dirty mind, my love!"

 

Bagoas grinned, but at the same time he grew flustered. "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Growing aware of the fact that Alexander was still approaching, Bagoas began to feel wary – the look on Alexander's face meant trouble. He was about to sprint away – well, at least to make the effort – when Alexander unexpectedly lunged for him. Bagoas managed to step aside, which caused Alexander to lose his footing and to fall forward. What Bagoas hadn't expected was for Alexander to grab his ankle. As a result, Bagoas also tumbled down. "What are you doing?"

 

But all Alexander did was to grin predatorily at him and Bagoas realized he had to get away from his lover. He didn't know Alexander's plans for him and he wasn't eager to find out. He tried to crawl away from Alexander on all fours, but the blond man didn't let go. Alexander was physically the stronger one of the two of them and ended up restraining a struggling Bagoas.

 

Horrified, Bagoas was forced to watch how Alexander picked up a handful of snow and then… then the bastard shoved the icy substance down his jeans! "Stop it!" Bagoas yelped now that the snow was sliding down his buttocks, thighs, *and* his groin area. "That's cold!"

 

"I figured you needed some cooling down, especially after gifting your snow man with such a remarkable erection!" Alexander loved seeing and feeling Bagoas wriggle beneath him and the movement aroused him. "Don't stop squirming," he breathed, licking his way down Bagoas' throat. The raven hair was wet with snow and ice crystals were beginning to form in the strands. Bagoas looked delicious.

 

Bagoas was momentarily at a loss, seeing Alexander look at him in such a strange way. But then he became aware of the erection pressing against his abdomen and a coy smile appeared on his face. "Can it be that you're jealous?"

 

"Jealous?"

 

"Because my snow man is bigger than you?"

 

Alexander chuckled; he could always count on Bagoas cornering him with words. "Maybe." He was about to lean in closer to kiss Bagoas when a snow ball hit him in the face. "What?" There was only person who could have aimed it at him!

 

"I thought you wanted to do battle, my King?" Hephaestion had used his time well and had constructed a formidable supply of snow balls, which lay at his feet. "Can you defeat me, Alexander?"

 

Alexander had never been able to ignore a challenge and he nodded his head. "I'll kick your ass, Hephaestion, even though it's a very nicely shaped ass…" He had wanted to add more, but suddenly Bagoas became alive beneath him and managed to throw him off balance. Bagoas freed himself of Alexander's hold and quickly ran over to join up with Hephaestion in their battle.

 

"That's not fair!" Alexander pushed himself to his feet, but was promptly hit in the stomach by one of Hephaestion's snow balls. "You're teaming up against me!"

 

"Oh, come on, Alexander! It's only me and Bagoas! Surely you can take the both of us on? Weren't you King of Asia once?" Hephaestion aimed another snow ball at Alexander's face and was disappointed when it didn't reach its target. Alexander had found shelter behind a fallen tree trunk.

 

"You *do* realize that he'll make us pay for this later?" Bagoas threw another snow ball, but also failed to hit Alexander.

 

Hephaestion grinned. "Oh, I'm already looking forward to that." Alexander's ideas about 'making his lovers pay' for whatever they had done, usually entailed hours of lovemaking!

 

~~~

 

"You didn't play fair!" Alexander was sulking. He had taken up position in front of the fire place and was trying to warm his chilly body. Toward the end of their 'battle' Bagoas and Hephaestion had tackled him and pushed large amounts of snow down his pants.

 

Hephaestion took pity on his lover and turned Alexander around until they were face to face. His fingers made quick work of the buttons and the zipper and he helped Alexander out of the icy wet clothes. "I'll make things up to you." He raised his arms and by doing that, enfolded Alexander within the folds of the soft blanket he had wrapped around him. "Sit down."

 

Alexander sat down on the rug and Hephaestion seated himself behind him with a leg on either side of his lover. Hephaestion wrapped his arms around Alexander's shoulders and used his own body heat to warm his miserable lover. "Are you feeling any better yet?"

 

"I'm still cold." Alexander didn't plan on giving his moping up just yet.

 

"Here." Bagoas, dressed in Jared's morning robe, placed a tray on the floor and then sat down next to Alexander. "Hot chocolate with whipped cream, just the way you like it, Alexander."

 

Hephaestion had to let go of Alexander in order to wrap his fingers around his mug. Taking the first sip, something burned his throat. "Bagoas, what's in there?" What had Bagoas added to the hot chocolate? Had he spiked it with alcohol?

Alexander took another sip, eager to discover the secret ingredient. "That's rum!"

 

Bagoas gave them a wicked smile. "Something to really warm you up."

 

The three of them sipped their spiked hot chocolate and watched the flames devour the wood in the fire place. Hephaestion finished his drink first and felt all warm and cozy due to the rum. He placed the mug onto the floor and reached for his lovers. His arms were long enough to fold around the both of them and he pulled them close against his chest. Maybe this was a good moment to bring up Alexander's plans for Christmas. "Bagoas?"

 

"Yes?" Bagoas was sipping the last of his hot chocolate and rested the back of his head against Hephaestion's shoulder.

 

"How do you feel about celebrating Christmas this year? We could decorate the house and shop for presents." Hephaestion caught Alexander's probing gaze and shrugged. "We have a little under a month left. If we want to get started, we need to do so now."

 

"That would be nice," Bagoas replied in a sleepy voice. "I never celebrated it before. They didn't make a big deal out of it at the orphanage and later on…" He let his voice trail off; he didn't need to remind them what his life had been like – they knew.

 

Alexander gave Hephaestion a contented smile. He was already looking forward to hanging mistletoe all over the place.

 

~~~

 

"Why don't you let me do that?" Alexander leaned against the doorway and watched Bagoas try to rub lotion onto his back.

 

"If you want to…" Bagoas handed Alexander the lotion. Although he had regained some flexibility there were still some spots on his back which he couldn't reach. He sighed the moment Alexander's hands touched his back and started spreading the lotion over his skin.

 

Alexander enjoyed touching Bagoas, even if it was in a non-sexual way. During his first life, he would never have done so – with Bagoas, everything had led to sex. "I've been meaning to ask you something." Alexander had rubbed the lotion into Bagoas' skin and now began to massage the shoulders. "Is there anyone you'd like to invite for Christmas?" He knew that Bagoas had no family left, but maybe there was someone Bagoas would like to have over for the holidays.

 

Bagoas blinked; he hadn't been expecting that question and Alexander's massage had lured him into a state of relaxation. "Jared, maybe?"

 

/I should have known./ Alexander reckoned the lotion had had enough time to disappear into the skin and he pulled Bagoas close to his chest. Enfolding Bagoas in a hug, he asked, "No one else?"

 

"I don't think so." For one moment he thought about inviting Shannon and Francisco, but they didn't know who he was – really was – and having them there might cause embarrassing situations. "But I don't think Jared will accept. He has his own family to visit for Christmas." Jared would probably prefer spending Christmas with them.

 

"Why don't you ask him and let him decide?" Alexander raised his eyes and looked at their joined reflection in the mirror. Bagoas looked healthy, happy, and sexy. This young man was a far cry from the abused boy they had found over three years ago. Bagoas had healed. "Maybe he wants to join us for Christmas?"

 

"I'll ask him." He would send Jared an email, but he doubted very much the actor would join them. "And how about you, Alexander? Is there someone you want to invite over?"

 

Alexander shook his head. He had already given the matter some thought and had decided against inviting his mother. He doubted she would be accepting of his relationships with Bagoas and Hephaestion and he didn't want her presence to affect the festivities. "No one."

 

"Did you already ask Hephaestion?" Bagoas pulled away and Alexander released him from his embrace. He slipped into Jared's morning robe – which he was still very fond of, even if it had long lost Jared's scent – and tied the belt around his middle.

 

"I did. He mentioned that he might ask his father to join us. Their relationship was always a good one and he's confident that his father will accept the three of us living here like this." He was curious about Hephaestion's father. Hephaestion seldom mentioned him, but when he did, it was always with love.

 

Bagoas clasped Alexander's hand in his and led his lover out of the bathroom and into the living room, where they found Hephaestion settled down on the couch, reading his email messages. "Anything interesting?"

 

"One more story part by Ladyjackyl called 'Reconnecting'. I like it." Hephaestion gave Bagoas a wicked smile. "It still features your favorite pairing of Colin and Jared."

 

Bagoas seated himself next to Hephaestion and peeked at the screen, trying to read along.

 

"Doesn't that bother you?" Alexander pulled a kitchen chair close and straddled it. "To read about a real person having sex with another actor?"

 

"It's called Real Person Slash, Alexander, and it doesn't have to be your cup of tea." Hephaestion chuckled; he was about to reach the end of the story. In spite of Alexander's enthusiasm where writing Fictional Person Slash was concerned, his lover still had his peculiarities.

 

"I read it," Alexander replied in a mocking voice. "I just don't write it." He cocked his head and then added, "Do you think Jared knows about the world of slash?"

 

"You're wondering if he ever read this…" Bagoas considered Alexander's question. "I doubt it very much."

 

"I hope he never will," Alexander murmured, giving his lovers an apologetic look.

 

"He might get some pointers on how to improve his sex life!" Hephaestion joked.

 

"Now stop it right there!" Alexander was enjoying their banter and played along. "You know nothing of Jared's love life!"

 

"I could have known…" Bagoas surprised them by giving them a perfectly composed smile. "But he played hard to get."

 

~~~

 

"What's wrong?" Hephaestion stirred from his sleep because someone was moving about in bed. That someone appeared to be Alexander, who looked at him with big eyes and a droopy nose. "Oh no…" They had already nursed Bagoas through two colds and Alexander had bragged that he never caught colds. "Looks like it's your turn now."

 

"I don't feel that great." Alexander pushed himself up onto his elbows and then released a series of volatile sneezes which shook the bed.

 

Bagoas startled awake and the first thing he saw was Alexander's eyes, hot with fever. "I thought you never got colds?"

 

"This is your fault! Yours and Hephaestion's!" Snot dripped from the tip of Alexander's nose and he gratefully accepted the tissues Hephaestion had fetched him. "The two of you teamed up against me in the snow and…" He started to cough and the raw sound made Bagoas and Hephaestion wince – a sight which filled Alexander with some satisfaction. "I don't want to be like this!" He was shivering, because he felt cold, but at the same time, his body felt hot with fever. "Oh, my poor stomach…"

 

Hephaestion reacted the fastest and dragged Alexander from their bed into the bathroom. "Bagoas, fetch me a morning robe or a blanket to cover him up with up!" He got Alexander just in time to the toilet and held back the blond hair when Alexander emptied his stomach. After a few minutes the vomiting changed into dry heaves, which tore at Hephaestion's heart.

 

Bagoas joined them and draped Alexander's morning robe over his lover's shoulders. Next, he wet a wash cloth and pressed it against Alexander's sweaty brow. "Just ride it out."

 

"I don't want to be sick!" Alexander hated the way he sounded – like a spoiled brat – but he really hated being ill. /Did I have to brag to Bagoas that I never got colds? Oh why…?/

 

"Bagoas, get some mouth wash." Hephaestion brushed back Alexander's damp hair and established eye contact with his lover. "Done?"

 

"Yes, I'm empty… There's nothing left to throw up." By the gods, he felt miserable! His bones, his joints, and his eyes hurt and he didn't want to move at all, but Hephaestion was already hauling him back to his feet.

 

"Rinse your mouth, Alexander." Bagoas made certain Alexander cleaned his mouth and spat the mouth wash back out. "I'll get you some tea." Luckily they still had some supplies left from when he had suffered from his colds.

 

"See if we have some aspirin and vitamin C left," Hephaestion suggested, knowing from personal experience that Alexander was the worst possible patient when he was like this.

 

Bagoas nodded his head to show he had heard and left the bathroom. That left Hephaestion with the task of hauling Alexander back to bed again. In the end, he simply lifted Alexander in his arms and carried him over to their bed.

 

"That's the first time that you had to carry me because I am ill." Alexander flinched; his stomach began to revolt again, but luckily there was nothing left to throw up. His nose itched, his mouth had gone dry, and his eyes were tearing up.

 

"I don't mind, Alexander." Hephaestion propped some pillows up against the headboard and helped his lover recline against them. "Better?"

 

"A bit." Alexander hated feeling like this – useless and powerless. When Bagoas had come down with this cold, it had taken him about a week to recover from it. Alexander hoped he would recover faster than that!

 

Bagoas returned carrying a tray. He placed it on the nightstand and slid into bed. Sitting cross-legged next to Alexander, he then placed the tray in front of him. "You should know the drill by now." Alexander had made him do this when he had been down with his colds. "Cough syrup first. You'll be grateful that I'm doing this later." He handed Alexander the tiny plastic cup that held the vile medicine.

 

Alexander didn't want to lose face in front of his lovers and drowned the appalling syrup in one go. He had enjoyed doing this to Bagoas and now his lover was getting back at him for making him drink the concoction.

 

"And next is the aspirin. It'll lower the fever." Bagoas placed the aspirin in the palm of Alexander's hand, waited for him to put them into his mouth, and then made him drink a glass of water.

 

"You're enjoying this way too much!" Alexander had seen the pleased gleam in Bagoas' eyes.

 

Hephaestion was also doing his best not to laugh at the faces Alexander was pulling whenever he had to take some medication. Alexander looked like a little lost puppy, but sounded like he was bullying his soldiers. The contrast amused him.

 

"And now you'll drink the tea. I added some honey to it." Bagoas placed the tray aside and waited for Alexander to curl his fingers around the mug. "Don't sip just yet – it's still hot."

 

"I need more tissues…" Alexander needed to blow his nose.

 

Hephaestion collected the box with tissues and brought it to bed with him. "You're going to pass the germs on to us. I just know you will."

 

Alexander blew at the surface of his tea and glared at Hephaestion. His lover was enjoying his misery way too much. "Well, you can always stay in the spare room!"

 

"Who would look after you if we left?" Bagoas steadied Alexander's trembling hands and helped him sip the tea. "We're staying. Misery loves company."

 

"I don't want you to catch this." Alexander had given the matter some thought and decided he didn't need to extract revenge on his lovers after all. He should let them pamper him instead.

 

"Now, sip." Hephaestion tucked the comforter around their forms and waited for Alexander to finish his tea before pushing an arm beneath his lover's neck. Pulling Alexander closer, he made certain that his lover rested comfortably against him.

 

On Alexander's other side, Bagoas stretched out and kept a close eye on Alexander. The eyes worried him – they were too feverish.

 

~~~

 

"I need to go…" Alexander swayed dangerously as he made his way over the bathroom. A battery of coughs, sneezes, and disturbing rumbling from his intestines made his lover hurry to his side. It was Hephaestion's turn to watch Alexander. 

 

Alexander was still battling his cold after five days, but Hephaestion was under the impression that he was slowly getting better. He thanked the gods that neither he nor Bagoas had caught the bug. Had all three of them gone down, it might not have been pretty. "I've got you."

 

"I don't want to do this anymore." The cold was keeping him from eating solid foods and he had been living on crackers, tea, and broth for the last few days.

 

"You're getting better – you just feel too miserable to notice." Hephaestion helped Alexander into the bathroom and behaved himself while his lover relieved himself. Under different circumstances he would have made fun of his lover, but not now that Alexander was feeling so wretched.

 

"Then why do I feel this bad?" Hephaestion had helped him make his way back over to the couch and Alexander curled up on it, hiding beneath his comforter which reeked of sweat and fever. They had tried taking it away from him so they could put it in the washer, but he had viciously clung to his comforter.

 

"Drink a bit more tea." Hephaestion placed the cup at Alexander's lips and waited for him to swallow some of it. The added honey would tend to Alexander's chaffed throat. "Why don't you try to sleep?" Hephaestion tucked Alexander's precious comforter around his lover's form and then pressed a kiss onto the clammy brow.

 

"You shouldn't do that… I don't want you to catch it."

 

"I would have caught it if were I susceptible to it long ago, Alexander." Hephaestion seated himself on the other end of the couch and raised Alexander's feet so they were resting on his knees. "Warm? Comfortable?" He slipped his hands beneath the comforter and rubbed the soles through the fabric of the socks.

 

"Yes, I guess so…" Alexander's eyes began to close. He felt exhausted. "Where's… Bagoas?" He hadn't seen him for some time.

 

"He went to check on Boukephalos." They had erected a shelter for the stallion during summer when the sun had mercilessly burned down on the earth. That shelter would also keep the worst cold from the horse. Hephaestion's gaze traveled from Alexander's face to Peritas. The dog had stretched out on the rug in front of the fire place.

 

"I forgot… all… about…him." Alexander was losing his battle and was quickly dozing off now that the coughing and sneezing had momentarily stopped.

 

"You don't have to think of everything, you know. That's why you have us." Hephaestion stopped rubbing Alexander's feet, raised his hands above the comforter, and tucked the warm material around Alexander's feet, so they would stay warm. He knew how much Alexander hated being in this way – but he also believed it was a good thing that Alexander had caught this cold for it might make Alexander realize just how tight the three of them had really become.

 

The front door suddenly opened and Bagoas, covered with fine snow, stepped inside. He quickly closed the door behind him to prevent any warmth from fleeing the cottage. After shedding his parka and stepping out of his boots, Bagoas made his way into the living room. "Is he still grumpy?" Alexander's mood had been foul – which wasn't surprising, but it was getting harder to deal with.

 

"I believe he's improving. This is the first time that he isn't coughing in his sleep." Hephaestion watched Bagoas sit Indian-style in front of the fire-place and Peritas lifted his head to rest it upon Bagoas' knee. In response, Bagoas petted Peritas and rubbed the dog behind his ears. "Is Boukephalos all right?"

 

Bagoas nodded his head once, but didn't bother to look up. He continued to rub Peritas' ears and said, "I made certain he has enough food and water for the next few days. The shelter is keeping out the cold."

 

"Alexander will be pleased to hear that when he wakes up again."

 

Bagoas had warmed up and now exchanged the rug for the comfortable chair opposite the couch. Pulling his legs close to his chest, he wrapped his arms around them and rested his chin on his knees. "This must be hard on him."

 

"You have no idea. He would never let me fuss over him, even when he was wounded."

 

"He'd let me – sometimes." Bagoas ducked his head, seeing the surprise in Hephaestion's eyes. "I think it was different for him when it was me taking care of him. I was only Bagoas the eunuch… not really a man… he didn't have to fight so hard to uphold his pride and dignity around me."

 

"Do you really believe that?" Hephaestion couldn't believe Bagoas had said that. Not once had Alexander indicated that he thought less of Bagoas because he was a eunuch, but then again, they hadn't discussed Bagoas that much in their first life.

 

Bagoas shrugged and made sure that Alexander was still asleep before he continued. "I know what I was back then, Hephaestion. I was a slave – someone to warm his bed and pleasure him if he desired so."

 

"Bagoas!"

 

"Hephaestion, I know it's not like that any more, but back then, it was. I was fortunate that he was kind and felt some affection for me." Bagoas closed his eyes and his thoughts traveled back in time. "I still remember the day Nabarzanes told me about his plan to gift me to Alexander as a peace offering."

 

Hephaestion listened up. "I wasn't present when Nabarzanes presented you to Alexander." He had been away on an assignment and Bagoas had already been living in Alexander's rooms upon his return. "Bagoas, what was it like? Being handed over to Alexander in that way? Were you scared?"

 

Bagoas opened his eyes and blinked. Hephaestion's questions had taken him by surprise. "Why are you asking?"

 

"Earlier this week, Alexander and I had talked about our first time together and I was wondering what it was like for you – your first time with Alexander."

 

Bagoas' eyes narrowed. "You really want to know about that?"

 

"Only if you're comfortable sharing those memories with me. I am curious…" Hephaestion wondered about the odd look on Bagoas' face. "If you don't want to tell me, I'll accept that."

 

"No, it's not that. I just thought you wouldn't want to know." Bagoas drew in a deep breath. "Some of it might not be what you expected it to be."

 

"Tell me. Make me understand."

 

"All right, just remember you wanted to be told." Bagoas closed his eyes again and let the memories flood into his thoughts.

 

TBC

 

 

Part 3

 

#I agreed to this because I did not really have a choice. I have no place left to go and I cannot stay with Nabarzanes, one of Darius' murderers. I just cannot. Serving the new King is only the next logical step. I am not forced into going along, I go willingly, but still because I have no choice. What else am I supposed to do?

 

~~~

I carefully keep my eyes lowered now that I am entering Darius' old study. This is the room where he signed his treaties and prepared to go to war against Alexander. I should know. Darius' study and his bedroom were my home most of the time.

 

"Great King, thank you for allowing me to plead my case in person." Nabarzanes kneels before Alexander and kisses his feet, as is our custom. In a few moments, I will do the same to pay the new King my respects. In the meantime, I listen and try to learn what I can about this new King.

 

"Please forgive me for the part I played during King Darius' last days. I was wrong to act in that way and I repent my deeds. I count on you to be merciful and to understand."

 

Nabarzanes is still on his knees and has not raised his eyes to the new King yet. He seems to be submissive and to be putting his fate in Alexander's hands, but I know the snake for what he is, and if Alexander is the man they say he is, so will he.

 

"Rise, Nabarzanes. I do not require my subjects to crawl in the dust for me."

 

Bold words and I am tempted to peek at our new King, but that would not do. I need to remember and practice all I have been taught if I want to be accepted and find a new home with this man.

 

"Great King, I do not come empty-handed. I brought you a gift."

 

Nabarzanes' claw-like fingers reach for my arm and he drags me into Alexander's view. I fume; I would have stepped up to the new King out of my own accord, but nothing of my anger shows in my expression, which is perfectly schooled and directed at the King's feet.

 

"I do not require gifts. You asked for forgiveness and you shall receive it."

 

Ah, yes, I have heard that Alexander can be extremely generous at times, but I have also heard how he deals with his enemies – without mercy and to the death.

 

"Great King, this is Bagoas, the eunuch. He was Darius' favorite and he is my gift to you. He will warm your bed in cold nights."

 

I hate being traded off like this – like I am some sort of object which can be bought and sold. Oh, who am I trying to fool? I *am* a slave, nothing more.

 

"Bagoas, you say?"

 

Alexander sounds thoughtful and I wonder if this is the moment I have been waiting for. Should I look at him or wait a little longer? Or fling myself at his feet and kiss them to show my respect? What kind of impression do I make on him? I took great care dressing myself and applying my make-up. The clothes I am wearing belong to Nabarzanes. I lost my personal belongings after Darius was slain. The midnight-blue tunic looks good on me, I know that. I brushed my hair for over an hour until it shone and began to curl. I applied the kohl beneath my eyes heavily and even put on a touch of rouge. Not too much – never too much, for the men I lay with do not want me to look like a woman.

 

All of a sudden I hear a soft rustling as Alexander raises an arm and reaches for me. A finger settles beneath my chin and he raises my face, making me look at him. I suck in my breath as I see those passionate eyes. They are brown, and long, blond hair frames a surprisingly handsome face. He is still young and unexpectedly handsome. In that instant I realize that I can come to care for him and that is a dangerous realization. A whore should never fall in love with his Master.

 

"Can you speak, boy?"

 

Boy, he called me boy! Does he not see that I am not a boy any more? I am already sixteen!

 

"Did I insult you, Bagoas?"

 

My anger must have shown in my eyes for him to say that and I instantly lower my eyes again. "No, my King, you could never insult me."

 

"You are fragile thing, Bagoas. What am I supposed to do with you?"

 

With a flick of his wrist, Alexander sends Nabarzanes out of the room and I am now alone with him – with the new Great King. Did he really call me fragile? "I am not fragile, my King. I am stronger than I look." I make sure to keep my voice soft and docile; I cannot afford to offend him. "I will serve you well, Great King."

 

"Bagoas, you are young, handsome, and you strike me as intelligent, so hear me when I say that I do not keep slaves."

 

I like him. I like this man – his resolve and the passion which with he utters those words. Only then his words register with me. "No slaves?" What strange kind of concept is that?

 

"I do not believe in forcing people to stay with me. Bagoas, you are free. Go wherever the wind carries you. I release you."

 

Just like that he returns my freedom to me. And what do I do? I stare at him dazedly. For so many years I yearned to have my freedom back and now that I have it, I realize that I have no place to go except for the harem – or Alexander's rooms, but it seems that he does not want my services. "Where should I go?"

 

Alexander frowns and seems surprised to hear my question. "My King, I no longer have a home, or a family." Why am I trying to explain my situation to him? He is the King! He cannot be interested in such a trivial thing as my life.

 

"I am sorry. I did not know that."

 

Alexander rubs his thumb against my cheek and I react like I was taught to – I blush and bat my eyelashes in the hope that it will have the intended effect on him. "You do not need to know, my King."

 

"You are a temptation, Bagoas."

 

I smile timidly as I do not want to appear too eager. "Thank you, Great King."

 

"Bagoas, look at me."

 

I do as I am told – of course I do. Refusing him would never occur to me. "Yes, my King?"

 

"If you have no place to go you are free to return to the harem. I ordered that nothing was to be changed and your room should be waiting for you. You can stay there as long as you want, but I hope you will find your own way when the time is right."

 

Alexander's words baffle me. I had been convinced that I had worked my magic on him and yet, he is sending me away. How can that be? "I am here to serve you, Great King. If I were to live in your rooms I could wait on you and fulfill your every desire."

 

"You were trained to say this, Bagoas. You are only doing what they taught you."

 

I lower my eyes again and say, "Great King Al'skander, I am here out of free will. No one is forcing me…"

 

"I have grown tired of this conversation, Bagoas. Take my offer or leave it."

 

Within the blink of an eye, Alexander storms out of the study, leaving me here alone. I feel shocked – I never expected him to banish me to the harem. I do not want to go back there – where manipulation and scheming are the sole things that will keep you alive. I made many enemies there while Darius still lived. The fact that I became his favorite made the other eunuchs jealous. I won't receive a warm welcome there.

 

~~~

 

"So you came crawling back, Bagoas?"

 

I recognize the voice and straighten my shoulders. I replaced this eunuch, who used to be Darius' favorite for years. During the time that I served Darius, this eunuch became in charge of the harem and now that I am nothing but another eunuch he holds power over me. Raji stands before me and I lower my eyes accordingly. "I came back to serve our new King."

 

"Our new King? That barbarian? You are more stupid than I thought, Bagoas."

 

The tone of his voice alarms me and I throw caution to the wind and raise my eyes. That is when I realize that we are not alone. Other eunuchs have joined the household, new additions to the harem which I have never met before. Their eyes are hard and unmerciful. These boys present a danger because they will do whatever Raji will tell them. "I won't cause you any trouble, Raji. I won't stay for long."

 

"Oh, you are right about that, Bagoas."

 

Raji speaks my name in a venomous tone and I try to move toward the exit so I can flee if needed, but one of the boys blocks my path and I am trapped. "I present no danger to you, Raji, or the position you hold. Our new King does not favor me."

 

"I could care less if he did, Bagoas. We have a score to settle. I was Darius' favorite until you came along and you banished me to an existence in the harems. I used to live in Darius' rooms and the other eunuchs used to look at me with respect. That changed. Do you have any idea how long it took me to retain my position here? And you are to blame for that!"

 

"And now you plan on having your revenge." I realize that there is no reason to be secretive about this.

 

"Oh, yes, I will finally have my revenge. I will make certain that you will never become our King's favorite again, Bagoas."

 

His words alarm me and I wish I had come here armed, but foolishly enough, I had thought that they would never dare raise their hands against me. "Raji, do not do this. I can serve you much better if you do not do this."

 

"No, the time for words is gone. Grab him!"

 

Dozens of hands try to grab hold of me, and for a moment I manage to elude them, but then they grab strands of my hair and their combined power smites me to the floor. I fall down face first and my head hits the stone floor hard. My head reels and my world spins.

 

"Do it!"

 

Raji must have planned this from the moment he heard of my return for the boys know what he wants them to do. They rip the clothes from my back and bear my naked body to Raji. I am shivering, finally realizing what his plans are. "Do not do this…" I have been raped more times than I can count, but to be raped by ones of my kind fills me with horror. These boys, these eunuchs, have been raped in turn so they know what effects their deeds will have. How can they do unto me what was done to them?

 

A sudden stabbing pain makes me scream out in anguish. Something hard is being pushed inside my body – without preparation, without oil. What are they doing? What are they using? I gasp for breath and twist my body in an attempt to get away from them, but to no avail. They push the object deeper inside. It must be one of the wooden toys, shaped like a penis they use to stretch themselves with – and it hurts. It hurts so much that I know they are tearing me.

 

"You will never be anyone's favorite again once we are done with you!" Raji declares maliciously.

 

I barely hear his voice. The hard thing is tearing me up, making me bleed, and I cry out in pain. Some of the boys have fallen onto their knees beside me and are now keeping me in place. Their fingers are vice-like and I abandon all hope that I might escape my fate.

 

The doors suddenly open and I hear footsteps closing in on me. Someone has arrived – someone who is not supposed to be here. Will he help me?

 

"What is happening here? By Zeus, stop them!"

 

Have I turned delusional or do I actually recognize that voice? Alexander's voice? I stare at the floor, unable to face anyone in my current situation and wait on what will happen next – it is all I can do.

 

"Remove that! Gently!"

 

The boys finally let go of me and the solid object is removed from my body. I whimper, unable to keep back the pain I am in. I do not want to faint, but I feel strange, like I am about to pass out.

 

"I did not know – did not think…"

 

That is Alexander's voice again, echoing at the edges of my mind. My eyes close and my body trembles. I can stay conscious no longer and give in to the sweet darkness that now spreads its wings.#

 

~~~

 

Bagoas hadn't noticed that he had started to cry during his story telling. He hadn't been aware of that until a pair of strong arms settled around his frame and pulled him close. Blinking through his tears, Bagoas looked up and found that Hephaestion had deserted his spot on the couch and was now sliding into place behind him.

 

"I never knew about that. Alexander never told me." Hephaestion exchanged a worried look with Alexander, who had woken up during Bagoas' tale.

 

"I wanted to respect Bagoas' privacy," Alexander explained while studying Bagoas, who was shaking like a leaf. "I told my companions who had happened upon the scene with me to keep silent as well."

 

Bagoas used the corner of his shirt to wipe away his tears. "It isn't like it didn't happen before. I had been raped before, but…"

 

Hephaestion rocked Bagoas gently after wrapping his arms and legs around the trembling form. "They really hated you."

 

"Raji did." Bagoas rested his head against Hephaestion's shoulder and let the rocking soothe him. "They used the largest toy they had on me. They tore me up badly."

 

"What happened next, Bagoas? Will you tell me? Or do you want to stop?" Hephaestion had never thought his question about Bagoas' first time with Alexander would open up such grave wounds.

 

"I'll tell you…" He had to do this now or he never would.

 

~~~

 

#I do not want to open my eyes, but I have been awake for a few minutes now and realize I can not postpone the inevitable. I do not know where I am, or what happened to me after they raped me, and I need to find out. I need to take care of myself, because no one else will.

 

I open my eyes and blink repeatedly. Am I still dreaming? I must, for I cannot be back in Darius' bedroom. But I know this room, its ceiling. I have lived here for years.

 

"Ah, you are finally awake. I was worried we might lose you."

 

There was that voice again – Alexander's. In the state I am currently in, I do not run much risk of offending the Great King and I shyly seek out his gaze. His hair is tousled and his eyes have black circles beneath them. They were not there the last time I saw him.

 

Alexander seats himself carefully on the side of the royal bed and gives me a long look. A million questions whirl about in my mind, but I know I am not at liberty to ask them. I am nothing but a slave. But I notice how tired he looks, like he has not slept for nights and I wonder why. What has kept him up?

 

"You are probably wondering what has happened since you were attacked."

 

Yes, I am wondering about that – but I am also wondering why he is stroking my hair. His touch is gentle and caring – it is a touch that seldom has been bestowed on me. I take care not to move about too much, knowing movement will only worsen the throbbing ache in my lower body.

 

"I had you brought to these rooms and my physicians have been taking care of you. When you began to wake up, they notified me."

 

I moisten my lips and try to speak. I am appalled to hear how fragile and weak my voice sounds. "Why… did you… bring me here… my King?"

 

"I could not leave you in the harem, now could I? I never realized you had many so many enemies there."

 

"I was… the King's favorite… Raji was… jealous… We eunuchs… live a different life…" Speaking the words drains me and I am shocked when the King himself reaches for the glass of water and places it against my lips so I can drink. Darius would have never done so. He would have told one of his slaves to do so.

 

"I am sorry they hurt you, Bagoas. That was my fault."

 

Are my eyes deceiving me or does he really look guilty?

 

"You will stay here – in these rooms. We will work something out – some sort of arrangement before Hephaestion joins me."

 

"Hephaestion?" I had never heard that name before. The moment I speak it, a smile warms Alexander's face and I begin to understand why he rejected my services.

 

"Yes, Hephaestion – my lover… My mate." Alexander still strokes the raven hair and I can tell that its soft texture amazes him. "You will be my personal servant."

 

"But, Great King, I am…" What? Injured? Useless? Weak?

 

"I won't tell Hephaestion why you will live in my rooms with me. He does not need to know what happened in the harem four days ago."

 

"Four? Four days?" My eyes widen and I stare at him.

 

"Yes, four days ago. You were unconscious for the first two days and then you slipped into a deep sleep. My physicians tried to take care of your internal bleeding and they told me it has stopped. You should stay in bed for a few more days though."

 

I feel shocked. I have been in his bed – the royal bed – for four days and nights. "Where did you sleep… my King?"

 

"On the couch – it is more comfortable than a field bed."

 

"On the couch? You… slept… on the couch?"

 

"Calm down, Bagoas… Calm down."

 

I had started pushing myself upright, but Alexander places his hands against my shoulders and pushes me down again – gently but resolutely.

 

"It was my fault that they hurt you. Letting you sleep in the bed while you are healing is the least I can do."

 

Alexander sounds determined and I lack the strength to show him the error of his ways. To let a slave, let alone a eunuch, occupy the royal bed is unheard of. "This is wrong."

 

"What I did was wrong."

 

Alexander suddenly reaches for my right hand and curls his fingers around mine. It is a strangely intimate and comforting gesture and my mouth grows dry because of it.

 

"I am so sorry they hurt you. They had no right to do that to you. When I saw that they were using that 'thing' to rape you… Something snapped inside of me."

 

Alexander's speech surprises me and I have no ready reply, so I listen instead.

 

"I do not really know what to say, or to do."

 

I smile at him. He has stolen my heart during these last few minutes. Alexander has a warm heart and is a caring soul – he is all I could have wished for in a King and Master. "You are doing well, Al'skander." He smiles at me then and I wonder why.

 

"Al'skander," Alexander repeats, smiling.

 

I realize I did not pronounce it right, but I am too tired to worry about that. My eyes close and I doze off again. This time, I feel safe.#

 

~~~

 

Alexander, although still feeling weak, pushed the comforter aside and sat upright. Gathering his strength, he got to his feet and made his way over to the chair where Bagoas was being rocked by Hephaestion. Sitting down on the arm rest, he raised his right hand and cupped Bagoas' face. "I wouldn't have sent you back, if I had known Raji wanted to hurt you. I would have found a solution."

 

"It was a small price to pay to be accepted by you – to be included in your love." Bagoas smiled ruefully at Alexander and rubbed his cheek against the palm of his lover's hand. "You saved me in more ways than one, Al'skander," he said, mispronouncing the name on purpose. "Your love saved me."

 

~~~

 

#"What are you doing out of bed, Bagoas? Did my physician give you permission to get up just yet? I do not think so."

 

I move slowly, keeping in mind that I am still healing. The attack happened a week ago and, although I have healed inside, some bruising remains, making it painful for me to bend, bow, or stretch. However, I am trying to perform my old duties again.

 

I prepared Alexander's bath, had the bed linens changed, and the rooms cleaned. Alexander might be King of Asia, but he needs someone who makes certain he looks after himself. I am eager to become that person. Once he needs me, he won't send me away again.

 

"Bagoas? I asked you a question."

 

I must have been lost in thought for he suddenly appears behind me and wraps an arm around my waist.

 

"Bagoas, did my physician give you permission to leave the bed?"

 

He is insistent, this King. "No, Great King, but…"

 

"And stop calling me that."

 

Alexander told me that he does not want to be addressed in that manner. He told me to address as him by his given name, but I am hesitant to do so. After all, he is my King – and suddenly I realize something that horrifies me. Not once have I thrown myself to the ground to kiss his feet. Not once!

 

"Oh no, I do not know what you are doing, but you are not moving about like that yet."

 

Alexander stops me from kneeling in front of him and guides me back to the bed instead. "But I should show you my respect. It is my duty…"

 

"If that is so important to you, you can do so once you have healed, but not yet. Now I want you to lie down, Bagoas."

 

"But there are so many things to do! I should help undress you, assist you with your bath and…" Suddenly his finger rests atop my lips and the touch stops me from speaking. I barely contain the urge to lick the digit and suck into my mouth. He is the first man I ever wanted to lay with out of my own free will. But Alexander has not shown any sexual interest in me yet. Maybe it is because he already has a lover?

 

"I am perfectly capable of taking my own bath, Bagoas. I am no child."

 

"But, you are the King!" Whenever I bathed Darius I had to follow all the rituals involved. And now Alexander is telling me that he does not need my assistance?

 

"If you want to please me, then remove your clothes and slip between the covers. You feel cold."

 

I have felt cold since the attack. No matter how fierce the fire in the fire place burns, I remain cold. That attack changed everything – something inside me snapped and I feel broken in more ways than I can ever explain. /That is why he does not want me to touch him – my touch would defile him./ How stupid have I been? He watched them rape me – how can Alexander possibly desire my touch? Has it come to this then? That I lost the one worth I still had in the eyes of my Master? Am I not even good enough to be a whore anymore?

 

"I do not know what is going on in that pretty head of yours, but I do not think I like it. Your main focus should be on healing."

 

Oh, how I love him for being so worried about me. "I am not fragile, Al'skander. I still have my skills." Alexander's eyes narrow and I know I have said the wrong thing. "I am here to please you – that is my destiny in life."

 

"We will see about that."

 

Alexander, who has been hovering over me, now pushes himself upright and walks over to the bathtub. I have no choice but to watch him strip and I know darn well that it is my duty to do that for him. I even try to get up, but one admonishing glare from Alexander makes me reconsider and I curl up instead. I keep watching him though, for it is the first time that I actually see him naked. He is muscular and already has a fair collection of scars that mar his body. My gaze drops below the waistline and I am impressed. I have seen my fair share of cocks and this one is very nicely proportioned, even in a lax condition. Alexander definitely is not lacking in that department and can surely satisfy his lover.

 

Alexander quickly lowers himself into the tub and cleans himself up. I should be doing that. I should be cleaning his back and washing his hair. I feel like a complete failure, but I do not dare defy my new King – he ordered me to stay in bed.

 

He dries his skin, wrings the water from his hair, and then walks over to the bed. I defied him because I have not yet taken off my robe yet and I wonder if he will remember that he ordered me to do so. But it does not seem to bother him that I did not follow his order and instead of lecturing me, he lies down next to me, still naked, and smelling of soap. I want to touch him and to show him just how much I can pleasure him. I begin to reach for him…

 

"Do not do that."

 

Alexander catches my hand in his and curls his fingers around it. He feels soft, warm, and a tad damp. He smells wonderfully clean. In a way, this feels odd. We are holding hands and looking into each other's eyes and nothing sexual is happening. That confuses me. None of my former Masters acted in such an unpredictable way. "I want to serve you, Great King."

 

"Then start by stop calling me that. I told you how I want you to call me."

 

I suspect that he likes the way I pronounce his name – or mispronounce it, that is more like it. "I want to serve you, Al'skander."

 

Alexander gives me a thoughtful look that lasts several minutes and I can see that he is trying to reach some sort of decision. I hold my breath and wonder what will happen next.

 

"Come over here."

 

Alexander opens his arms and I move into them. I am still wearing my robe while Alexander is naked and that is a strange sensation. Normally I am the naked one.

 

"I want to tell you something, so listen to me."

 

I nod my head – of course I will listen. I will do anything he wants me to. That is my duty – that is why I am there.

 

"I am going to tell you something very important. In a few days, Hephaestion will arrive. He is my lover, Bagoas, the other half of my soul. You will like him – he is easy enough to like."

 

*That* is what he wanted to tell me? I blink my eyes. "Am I to obey him as well?"

 

"Yes, that would be best."

 

Alexander runs his fingers down my raven hair and I purr at the sensation it awakens in me. It tells me something I should worry about, namely that I have fallen in love with Alexander – with my King. I never thought that could happen. "Would you like for me to pleasure you now?" He has been hard since he pulled me close.

 

Another long, probing glance follows and I hurry to explain my words. "I want to serve you in that way, Al'skander."

 

Alexander raises a hand and caresses my face. The touch is simple and pure and there is nothing sexual or demanding about it. It makes my eyes water and I start to sob. I finally lose my composure after clinging to it since the attack. "I need to know I still have some use, my King… If I am not good enough to warm your bed and keep you satisfied, then what will become of me?" I hate the way I sound, but that is the way I feel and I just cannot pretend right now – I cannot.

 

The look Alexander gives me is hard to decipher.

 

"Is that so important to you? That I will keep you in my bed?"

 

I nod my head. "Where else am I wanted?"

 

Alexander releases a deep sigh and I wonder what that means. Suddenly, I am pulled even closer and Alexander wraps his arms around me. I tentatively rest my head against his chest, still uncertain of what the future will hold for me. "Please do not send me away. I will work hard to please you. I will do whatever you say…"

 

"Hush now… Be quiet… You need to rest and so do I. We are going to sleep now and gather new strength for the next day."

 

Soft lips brush my brow and I feel happy. For the first time in almost six years, I am at peace.#

 

~~~

 

"I never knew that asking that one question would open a can of worms," Hephaestion said apologetically. "Maybe I shouldn't have asked."

 

Bagoas shrugged. "Maybe this will help you understand better why I was so jealous of you and why I, at one point, thought of poisoning you."

 

"I am glad you didn't follow through," Hephaestion replied as he ran his fingers through Bagoas' hair. He had wrapped himself all round the younger man and was holding him tight. "Are you ready to tell us the rest as well?" He knew he was about to enter the picture in Bagoas' tale and he wanted to hear it all from Bagoas' point of view.

 

Bagoas sighed. He didn't really want to do this, but he had no choice. "I will."

 

TBC

Part 4

 

#Alexander mystifies me. Even though his physicians pronounced me healed and ready to return to my duties, Alexander makes certain my duties are only minimal. I am not allowed to carry heavy things and am supposed to rest at least one hour during the day. He does not have the time to check on me though and I can pretty much do as I please. But sometimes, even though I do not think I deserve it, I stretch out on his bed and nap.

 

At night, he pulls me close and holds me. Last night, he even kissed my brow, but that is as intimate as we get. We sleep naked in the same bed and yet he has forbidden me to touch him in an intimate way. Neither does he try to touch me. I must admit I am at a loss.

 

Time and time again he assures me that it has nothing to do with the attack that happened two weeks ago. Alexander also refuses to tell me if he punished Raji and the boys who took part in that assault. All he said was that I should not worry about Raji ever again and that I would never return to the harem. I am to stay with him.

 

He allows me to help him undress and bath him, especially when it has been a long hard day and he has grown tired. He always thanks me for my assistance, although he does not have to do that.

 

"Bagoas, what are you thinking of?"

 

He is also always trying to get inside my head – my thoughts. I have never known anyone like him before and I do not know how to respond to him. I turn around, bow to show my respect, and then walk toward him. "You of course."

 

Alexander smiles at me and I drink in the sight. He is smiling at *me*. "Let me help you." I know that he has had a long day because he was worried about having to meet with all those Persian noble men. He is eager to learn our customs, even our language, but learning everything takes time and he is a very impatient man. "How did the meeting go?" I ask the question without expecting him to answer me. I am merely here to distract him. To my utter surprise he begins to give me an update on their talks.

 

I listen and file everything away for later, should he ever want to discuss this again and I assist him during his bath. Later, I dry his skin and can not help but notice he is erect. Should I offer my services again? Or not? I do not want to offend my new King.

 

"Bagoas? I received some bad news today. Hephaestion won't be joining us for another week."

 

I can tell how much this news distresses him because his eyes have lost some of their radiance. "I am sorry to hear that, Al'skander." I do not know how long the two of them have been apart, but I reckon it must be months. And that is a long time for a vital man like him to be without a lover.

 

"I wanted to hold him tonight, Bagoas. I wanted to make love to him."

 

He sounds distant and I look at him in surprise when he takes himself into hand.

 

"It has been so long, Bagoas, and I need him so much."

 

This might be the chance I have been waiting for. "Let me do that for you, Al'skander, and, if it pleases you, imagine I am him." I go down on my knees and nuzzle his groin with my mouth. I lightly run my fingers over his buttocks, arousing him further.

 

"I should not do this… Hephaestion…"

 

I do not give him a chance to reconsider and open my lips to receive him inside my mouth. His cock is long and broad and I close my lips around the damp flesh. I start a light sucking motion, as I do not want him to come yet. Once he knows my worth between the sheets he will keep me close to him.

 

"Oh, that feels so good…"

 

His fingers slide into my hair and he massages my scalp in a gentle way – which is a first. Most of my Masters simply pulled at the strands when they wanted me to suck them harder. But Alexander's touch remains gentle and I relax my throat muscles so I can take him even deeper. He begins to thrust then with considerable force and I have to limit myself to drawing in shallow breaths. I cannot breathe properly now that he is burying himself so deeply. I work my magic on him and his hold on my hair finally tightens. My scalp begins to hurt, but I try to ignore it. I know it is the first sign of his impending release.

 

"So talented…"

 

I take that as a compliment and suck hard on the head. It is enough to make him come and he shoots his load down my throat. I swallow obediently until he is spent and then lick him clean, removing every evidence of his release from his body. I pull back, give him a coy look and wait for instructions. I expect for him to throw me onto the bed and to take me and I want that! I want that so much! I want to belong to him in that way. The only thing that is holding me back from begging him to take me is the remembrance of the pain that I suffered at the hands of Raji. I have healed internally, but am I ready to have sex again?

 

"You do not have to stay kneeling."

 

Alexander pulls me to my feet and runs his fingers through my hair.

 

"You are a eunuch, Bagoas, so does that mean you can not have an erection?"

 

I nod. "That is correct. I was castrated at a very young age and I can not perform in that way." Not that someone of his social standing would want me erect. Someone like Alexander – the Great King – would never allow anyone to take him.

 

A hungry expression appears in his eyes and it is a look I have seen before in the eyes of other men. He wants me. For one moment I feel triumphant – Alexander wants me after all.

 

As I am still wearing my robe, I untie the sash and let the fabric slide down my shoulders. It pools around my feet and I step out of it. I move toward the bed and then turn away from him. I do not know what his favorite position is, but I know which one Darius preferred. I get onto all fours and present myself to him.

 

"Bagoas…"

 

I hear the desire in his voice, but there is something else as well. "What are you waiting for, Al'skander? I belong to you."

 

"You cannot want me to take you like that."

 

I frown – like what? Suddenly he is kneeling behind me. He is erect again – I can feel him pressing against my buttocks, but then I am lifted and deposited onto my back. I look into his eyes and see that his pupils are dilated. The lust that courses through him consumes him and I know our coupling will be fast and intense.

 

"Where is the oil?"

 

His question touches me. Not many of my Masters bothered with my health. "Under the pillow, Al'skander." I have been taken without any preparation, without any oil, and have learned to deal with the pain. This King, however, does not want to see me in pain.

 

Alexander is still kneeling between my legs and he pulls a pillow closer. I lift my hips and he pushes it beneath me. I approve, for it will enhance his pleasure and make our mating less painful for me. He uncaps the phial and the oil now drizzles onto his fingers. Is he going to prepare me? A warm sensation settles in my stomach. Most of the time, I am told to prepare myself. And yes, one oiled finger massages my guardian muscle and then suddenly slides inside – just like that, with no pressure behind it at all.

 

As a slave I am not supposed to enjoy this, but Alexander knows what he is doing and brushes my prostate repeatedly. I had no idea I was dealing with someone *that* experienced in bed. Hephaestion and Alexander must have been devoted lovers for some time. That thought causes a chill in my heart. /But Alexander is mine now!/

 

Another slick finger presses inside me and I cannot stop myself from enjoying this, from moaning and pushing back. Normally I would merely be pretending to like this and this is a novel experience for me. The warmth that rises from the pit of my stomach worries me in a way. I never experienced it before and I feel like I am about to burst with pleasure. "Al'skander…"

 

"Are you ready? I do not wish to hurt you, Bagoas."

 

His concern for me makes my eyes water. But I do not want to cry right now. I cannot cry right now – not when he is about to claim me. "I am ready, Al'skander." I watch with greedy eyes how he coats his cock with the oil. I feel helpless and surrender to the sensation of being invaded. This is the first time that I actually want someone inside of me!

 

Alexander then does something that no one ever did before. He makes our coupling even more intimate by lowering himself onto me. He places his arms on either side of my head and stares into my eyes. Feeling lost, I wrap my legs around his waist and his fingers suddenly twine with mine. Unnoticed, he fully sheathes himself and I am surprised at how good he feels inside me. Tiny explosions are going off in my lower body and I try to rotate my hips so Alexander's cock will brush that special nub inside me again.

 

"Let me do this…"

 

Those four words are enough to make me stop my attempts to stimulate him. "Please…" I whimper.

 

"Are you this good of an actor, Bagoas, or are you really enjoying this?"

 

"I am not acting, Al'skander… You… I do not know what… how, but… I never felt…" His first thrust comes rather unexpectedly and I yelp as the tip of his cock nudges my prostate. My world shakes on its foundations and I continue to whimper. Another thrust follows, and yet another, and suddenly I feel like I am exploding into a million pieces. Something explodes in my lower body and it sends shards of pleasure throughout my body.

 

"So quickly?"

 

Alexander seems either puzzled or amazed, I cannot tell. I feel I am like drowning in this intense rapture that is making me tremble beneath Alexander. "I never…"

 

Alexander seems to understand. He is not moving any more and I see how his face relaxes. A beautiful expression appears in his brown eyes and I suddenly grow aware of a warm sensation in my lower body. Alexander came – he came inside me. *Me!*

 

"You are quite something, Bagoas. You might get your wish after all. Maybe I will keep you in my bed."

 

Alexander's tone is warm and caring and I feel a lot better about myself now that I have proven my worth to him. The fact that Alexander provided me with my first orgasm is something I welcome, but I also know better than to expect for it to happen again. It was probably just coincidence.

 

"Did I please you in turn, Bagoas?"

 

He worries about that? What kind of man is he? "Yes, you did…"

 

"You said something just now that has me wondering. You said that you had never felt… what?"

 

Alexander is softening inside me and slowly pulls out. That gesture shows once more with how much respect he is treating me. I could get used to having sex with him – oh yes, definitely. "I never felt like this before." I feel utterly relaxed and am even growing sleepy.

 

Alexander laughs warmly and caresses my face. "I hope you will like it again the next time we make love."

 

The way he phrases that stuns me. "Make love?"

 

"Yes, what would you call it then?"

 

My instincts kick in and I know better than to correct him. No one makes love to a eunuch – a whore. But I keep silent in the afterglow and simply accept what he has given me.#

 

~~~

 

"I finally understand." Hephaestion had grown sad during Bagoas' tale because he finally realized just how lost and low Bagoas' opinion of himself had been. "Alexander showed you that there was love in your life."

 

Alexander tried hard not to look relieved, but he did feel calm now. For one moment, he had thought that Hephaestion might call him on bedding Bagoas after only two weeks. Hephaestion had every right to be angry with him – now and then – but his lover's empathy once more prevailed. But Alexander still felt the need to say something. "I felt alone, Hephaestion, and I have never been able to do well with being lonely. I expected you to return to me that night and when I heard that you wouldn't arrive for another week… I felt desperate and Bagoas… Bagoas was offering. He'd told me just how much a boost his self esteem would get if I bedded him and all those things led to us making love."

 

Hephaestion sensed Bagoas' anxiety. "Making love – only you would phrase it like that and confuse the hell out of Bagoas. I know you, Alexander. Some feelings had to be involved – otherwise you would never have bedded Bagoas. Did you perhaps like him from the start? The first moment you met?"

 

"Look at him," Alexander answered as he continued rubbing his thumb along Bagoas' jaw line. "Have you ever seen anyone as delicate as Bagoas?"

 

Hephaestion smiled. "I know what you're trying to tell me, Alexander." In his own limited way, Alexander was trying to tell him that he had felt drawn to Bagoas' sorrow from the start. Even though Bagoas hadn't been aware of the sadness and need that he radiated beneath the layer of sensuality, Alexander had, and he had been drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

 

Bagoas blushed now that all of the attention was focused solely on him. "Alexander made me *feel* for the very first time. I never knew I was actually capable of climaxing. Until that day, I had only feigned my orgasm."

 

"I am glad that Alexander was able to give you that." Hephaestion, who had his arms wrapped around Bagoas' shoulders, soothingly rubbed his lover's upper arms. "I'm sure there is more to tell, my love."

 

"Yes, Hephaestion, there is.

 

~~~

 

#"Bagoas, I want you to show me the rest of the palace – all of the hidden and important places."

 

Alexander's request does not come unexpectedly and I nod my head. "But, of course."

 

"Are you strong enough for that? Have you healed sufficiently?"

 

I had learned to read between the lines years ago. I might only be sixteen years of age, but I feel like an old man on the inside. In his very own way, Alexander is asking me if he hurt me last night. "I am fine, Al'skander." My words seem to reassure him for his face lights up with a smile.

 

We are still in bed and I cannot stop looking at him. Last night, he made me feel good about myself and that never happened before. "I will show you the hidden passageways."

 

"There are some?" Energized, Alexander gets to his feet and reaches for his robes.

 

I try to match his speed, but he is already halfway dressed when I reach to assist him.

 

"Bagoas, get dressed. You are going to show me now!"

 

Get dressed, he says. In what? I have been using one of his morning robes since my arrival here, but I doubt he expects me to parade around in his clothes. But Alexander does not seem to understand that there is a problem and, in the end, I am left with no other choice but to slip into his brown morning robe. At first, it smelled of Alexander, but it has taken on my scent in the meantime.

 

Looking in the mirror, I realize I should wash up, do my hair, and apply my make-up, but Alexander never gives me the chance to do all that. His fingers wrap around mine and he resolutely pulls me into the corridor. I am surprised to find only two guards there. When Darius lived here, the corridor was crowded with guards.

 

"Show me!"

 

Alexander looks at me expectantly. I take in my bearings, recognize one of the tapestries, and reach behind it. Pushing it aside, I reveal the secret doorway to him. "This one leads to the harem."

 

"Show me!" Alexander repeats his order and eagerly nods his head.

 

He reminds me of a small child, all excited because he has received a new toy to play with. I push the secret door ajar and then enter the room behind it. I walk up front, as is our custom. That way, should someone dare to attack the King, it will be the guide who will catch the dagger or sword and die in his King's stead.

 

Alexander notices the small windows, which have been crafted into the wall and curiously looks out of them. I know what he is seeing right now. The harem is located to his right and the baths to his left.

 

"I need to tell my men about these passageways. If someone were to kill me, the assassins might use them to get close to me."

 

I nod. "That is very true, Al'skander." It is very quiet in here – the sounds from the harem and the baths do not reach us, and breaking that silence is my stomach growling suddenly. I am seldom hungry and even when I am, I do not indulge much. My Masters always wanted me slender and without any fat on my bones.

 

"Bagoas, can we also go to the kitchens in this way?"

 

"You do not have to go there on my account, Al'skander." I am amazed at how easily his name flows from my lips. I never dared to address Darius by his name.

 

"No, I am hungry too."

 

The kitchens are located at the other end of the palace and we have to walk for at least twenty minutes to get there. In the meantime, I continue to show him where the hidden doorways are located and where they lead to. Looking out of a window, I halt in my tracks. Normally I would not come here, let alone with the King. Below me are the men who work on the sewer system. These are the pariahs, the ones no one will touch – no will talk to. As they are in constant contact with excrement, they are the lowest on the social ladder.

 

Alexander must have caught me looking below because he comes to a halt behind me and reaches for me. He places a hand on my shoulder and follows the direction of my stare.

 

"Anyone down there you recognize?"

 

Alexander's question strikes me as odd, but I indulge him and study the faces of the unfortunate men. Suddenly I see a face I know and I gasp. "That is Raji!" And those are the boys who aided the head-eunuch in his attack on me. I look into Alexander's eyes. I know my eyes must be filled with questions.

 

"I had to punish them and I did not want them to take the easy way out – death. This way they will remember their wrongdoings and pay for it."

 

I *did* wonder what had happened to Raji. Even if I disagreed with Alexander concerning his 'punishment', I would never tell him so. The fact that Alexander cared enough to punish them for raping me already means a lot to me.

 

"Let us move on. I am hungry."

 

That Alexander can still think of food now that we are standing so close to the sewers is beyond me. But I obey and lead him to the kitchens.

 

~~~

 

Alexander's sudden appearance shocks the cooks. Like me, they are not used to a King who does things his own way, such as simply walking in and sitting at the kitchen table while asking them for breakfast. It is a surreal situation for everyone involved – except for Alexander of course. He is perfectly at ease here.

 

"Is that all you are going to eat?"

 

The look he gives me says that he is displeased about the little food I have eaten, but I do not dare to eat more. Eunuchs are prone to growing fat and becoming fat is my greatest fear for then my new King will no longer desire me. And I need to be desired and wanted. "I have had enough, Al'skander." Although I have become used to calling him that, the cooks give me a startled look at hearing me call our King that.

 

"Bagoas, you need your clothes back. Are they still at the harem?"

 

"Some are, yes."

 

"Then send someone to fetch your personal belongings, but you are not going back there in person."

 

"I am to live with you then, Al'skander?" He does not seem bothered that the cooks can overhear our conversation.

 

"Yes, you will."

 

But a frown has appeared on his brow and I wonder why. Suddenly, Alexander gets to his feet, grabs my hand, and pulls me toward the exit. "Take me back to my rooms," he orders and I obey.

 

~~~

 

Alexander explores the royal chambers at leisure and realizes they are larger than he thought. The bedroom and study are only two of the five rooms that are at his disposal and that is not counting the room the guards can use to rest in between shifts.

 

"This will do."

 

Alexander drags me into a spare bedroom. Darius' mother, the Queen, would at times spend the night here after talking through the night with her son. The next day, she would return to her rooms in the harem. "This will do for what, Al'skander?"

 

"The bed looks comfortable, the room is spacious, and has a lovely view of the gardens. Yes, it will do."

 

Alexander is not helping. "My King, it will do for what?"

 

"Tell them to move your personal belongings in here. This is your room from now on."

 

"My room? Why do I need a room, Al'skander?" When I served Darius I slept on a pallet on the floor. Now, with Alexander, I have been sleeping in the bed.

 

"Because Hephaestion will arrive within the next few days and I will need some privacy once he is here. Bagoas, I know that you have no place to go and I do not want you roaming the palace and getting yourself into trouble."

 

Ah, he has been thinking that far ahead? Smart man – smart King. "Then you do not expect me to wait on you during that time?"

 

"No, you can wait on me, but not when I want to be alone with Hephaestion."

 

"I will be discreet, my King." Although I have not met Hephaestion yet, I already hate the man with a passion. His presence here will keep me away from Alexander – from his bed and his love.

 

~~~

 

Hephaestion arrives two days later. I am in Alexander's rooms when the news of his arrival reaches the King. The changes in Alexander's expression are instant. I thought his eyes shone like the sun before, but now I realize I had not seen anything yet. They burst with light and energy and make him glow from the inside. He must really love this Hephaestion for him to react in such a way.

 

"Bagoas, he is here! Hephaestion has arrived!"

 

He nervously moves about, tries to catch glimpses of Hephaestion by looking out the window and, when that does not work, he runs toward the doorway to eagerly await Hephaestion's arrival. Anger uncurls in my stomach as I watch him act like that. It does not become the Great King.

 

"Alexander!"

 

A soft, melodic voice drifts into the royal chambers and a moment later, a very solid body crashes into Alexander's. I gasp for breath – such a greeting poses an insult! He is supposed to throw himself at Alexander's feet instead!

 

But Alexander catches Hephaestion, lifts him, and pulls him in for a kiss. That is when I get my first good look at Hephaestion's eyes. They are blue – so very blue. I have never seen such eyes before and I wonder if he bewitched Alexander with his eyes.

 

"You are finally here! Oh, how I missed you! I was ready to ride out there and collect you myself!" Alexander runs his fingers over Hephaestion's face and traces the bottom lip with his thumb. "You can not leave me alone that long, Hephaestion!"

 

"I am here now, am I not, Alexander?" Like Alexander, Hephaestion seems to need to touch his lover all over and his hands move constantly. "I missed you too, Alexander."

 

"I missed you more!"

 

The youthful, playful expression on Alexander's face is something I have not seen before. He looks younger, like some weight has been lifted from his shoulders, and he rests his upper body against Hephaestion's muscular chest. I can see the love between them and my hatred towards Hephaestion doubles. He is going to take Alexander away from me!

 

They kiss then. It is a long kiss, full of passion and moans, and I begin to feel uncomfortable, seeing Alexander tug at Hephaestion's tunic. I should probably leave.

 

"Alexander!" Hephaestion suddenly pulls free and looks at me. "Who is that?"

 

Hephaestion's smile fades slightly, but it is still radiant enough to burn me and I lower my eyes. I cannot allow him to see the hatred in my eyes.

 

"That is Bagoas. I mentioned him in my last letter."

 

Letter? They have been writing letters? I never noticed that!

 

"Yes, I remember his name." Hephaestion releases Alexander from his embrace and advances on me. "Greetings, Bagoas, I am Hephaestion."

 

His kindness burns me even more and I want to run out of the room and never face him again. He is a kind soul; his eyes tell me that and he is completely unaware of my jealousy and hatred for him. "Milord, welcome back to Susa," I reply in my most diplomatic voice. "I shall leave you now and give you some privacy." I begin to turn around, but one of his large hands settles on my shoulder and keeps me in place. In the end, I have no other choice but to turn around and face him again. "Milord?"

 

"My name is Hephaestion, Bagoas. Now that Alexander calls you friend, so do I."

 

Hephaestion's words make me remember something one of the palace slaves told me. At the time I thought the slave was lying, or exaggerating, but later on, others confirmed his words. When Alexander had visited the harem that first time and talked to Darius' mother, the new King had said 'He is Alexander too,' and he had been referring to Hephaestion. These two are closer than blood. Alexander really believes that Hephaestion is a part of him and that makes Hephaestion a dangerous man – at least for me. "Thank you for your kind offer, milord," I reply eventually. I quickly bow and hurry out of the room. On my way out, I hear the rest of their conversation.

 

"Did I scare him, Alexander? That was not my intention."

 

"It was not your fault. Let us stop discussing Bagoas. I need you, Hephaestion. I need to feel you beneath me…"

 

The next thing that leaves the royal chambers are moans and I fling myself at my bed and cover my ears so I do not have to listen to them any more.#

 

~~~

 

"Bagoas? I liked you from the start. If you had let me, I would have befriended you," Hephaestion murmured in a soft voice. He had stopped rocking Bagoas, but was still stroking the raven hair.

 

"I know that now, but I would never have believed you back then. You were my rival."

 

"But I am not anymore." Hephaestion exchanged a look with Alexander. Had Bagoas heard the conversation Alexander and he'd had that night?

 

~~~

 

#Making love with Alexander after having been apart for three months feels like heaven. I stretch my body, roll onto my side, and watch Alexander sleep. He ravaged me all right. He took me three times tonight and I hope I won't feel sore in the morning. At least he remembered to prepare me and use the oil. He was trembling above me, clutching at me with desperation. Maybe I stayed away too long, but the mission called for it. Alexander had asked me to rebuild some of the cities he had destroyed and to make certain that someone qualified ruled in his stead. I needed three months to accomplish that.

 

At times I wonder about the two of us. Alexander is the perfect warrior. He has great strategic insights, can motivate his soldiers, and knows when to strike so he will win the battle. I can stand my ground on the battlefield, and I carry the title of General, but I know better than to lead part of the army. I am not a warrior. I am a diplomat. I know how to stop arguments and how to compromise – something Alexander refuses to do. In some ways, Alexander would be lost without me. He would march into battle and not take into account that he needs water and food to sustain his men. That is why he needs me. I keep his caravan close to the water and take care of his supplies. We compliment each other. It has always been this way.

 

But now something has changed.

 

"Hephaestion? I *know* that look and it spells no good."

 

Alexander has woken up and is now looking at me. His hands – always gentle with me – caress my skin and he leans in closer to press a kiss onto my lips. I have seen him kill in battle – kill and maim – and yet, when Alexander reaches out in bed, he always reaches out in love. "I want to talk to you about Bagoas." I learned a long time ago to read his mood and I believe he is willing to discuss this now – it might help that we just made love rather passionately! "You mentioned that Nabarzanes gifted him to you. I must admit I am surprised that you accepted." Alexander pushes himself up on one elbow and his fingers idly play with strands of my hair.

 

"I accepted the gesture, sent Nabarzanes away, and told Bagoas that he was free to go as well. He then told me that he has no place to go and I felt responsible for him. I allowed him to stay and he has become…"

 

"What? What has he become?" I had long noticed Bagoas' scent in our bed.

 

"I thought I could keep him on as a servant. It is nice when I get back from all those meetings and someone is here – waiting for me. But then…"

 

Alexander lowers his gaze and I just know he is afraid to speak his next words. "You took him into your bed."

 

"It happened the evening when I heard that you were delayed and that you would not arrive for another week. I had been stressing all day because of the meetings that did not go well, and the only thought that kept me going was the knowledge that I would have you in my bed that evening."

 

"And then my message reached you." I let him tell his story in his own time.

 

"Yes, and Bagoas was there – he was offering. He… He takes pride in the fact that he is skilled in bed and for me to reject him was a blow to him."

 

"You rejected him?" I arch an eyebrow.

 

"I did not claim him the first night, Hephaestion! Bedding him crossed my mind, but I did not want to be unfaithful to you."

 

And finally everything makes sense to me. "You wanted to ask my permission first."

 

"He is no threat to you, Hephaestion. I love only you. You are my other half, the guardian of my soul. And Bagoas…"

 

"Bagoas keeps your bed warm when I am not around." Now, how do I feel about that?

 

"I did not want to cheat on you, Hephaestion. But I was so alone and I needed… I needed to lean on someone for a while. You know me! You know what I get like when I am without you! You have seen the results of our separation whenever you return to me." Alexander looks and sounds guilty. "Can you forgive me? It only happened once."

 

I draw in a deep breath. Alexander is asking me to make a number of important decisions in mere seconds. I slide my fingers into his short hair and play with a curl. "I know that Bagoas presents no threat to me," I start, deciding to speak my thoughts aloud. "I know that we belong together and that nothing can keep us apart." Alexander's expression lightens somewhat and he looks hopeful. "Do you have any feelings for this boy?" Alexander gives me an uncomfortable look.

 

"I like him, but I do not love him, if that is what you are asking about. I love only you."

 

"Some feeling must be involved for you to bed him. I know you, Alexander."

 

"You will always come first, do you not know that? Hephaestion, you are in my blood. You are in my dreams at night and, when I breathe, I always breathe in remnants of your scent."

 

I study Alexander for some time and then make my decision. "You need someone to look after you when I am not around. That much is true. And I cannot stay with you all the time. I have my own duties. It would be best if you had Bagoas to fall back on." This time, I hear Alexander release a sigh, which shows his immense relief. "Did you expect me to make a scene?"

 

"I do not know what I expected. I would be furious if I found out you had bedded another man."

 

I laugh softly. "You would kill him."

 

"Yes, I would." Alexander's tone is dead serious.

 

"I forgive you, Alexander. And I give you permission to find comfort in his arms when I am not close. You need that. You need someone to ground you."

 

"I knew you would understand… That is why I trust you with my sanity."

 

Another kiss graces my lips and Alexander cuddles up to me. He might be the King of Asia, but I am the ruler of his heart.

 

~~~

 

Later that night, once Alexander has returned to his slumber, I leave our bed and make my way into Bagoas' room. The boy is asleep on the bed, curled up in a fetal position. The bed looks much too big for him alone and I sit down on the side. Allowing my fingers to run down a strand of raven hair, I study him in detail. The lines around his eyes reveal suffering and the way his hands keep clenching into fists tells me that his sleep is uneasy. I do not know the boy's life story, but something tells me that he has suffered much.

 

I am not jealous of him. I know that he will take my place in Alexander's bed the moment I leave on a mission and I am at peace with that. Bagoas will never take my place in Alexander's heart, but he can perform some of the duties I have toward Alexander. He can look after Alexander, make sure Alexander is well, and provide him with a warm presence in bed.

 

Leaning in, I press a butterfly-light kiss onto his brow. "Take good care of Alexander for me. He will need you once I am gone."

 

Bagoas does not hear me. He remains deeply asleep and looks perpetually young, so very young – much too young for the life he has led and the pain he has suffered. "And maybe, Alexander will supply you with the things you need in turn."

 

I rise from his bed, let my fingers glide along Bagoas' brow, and then take a step away from him. Yes, I accept this arrangement because it is in Alexander's best interest.#

 

~~~

 

Hephaestion stopped talking and blinked his eyes once to chase away the lingering memories. A hand patted his face and, as soon as his gaze was once more focused, he found that Bagoas was caressing his cheek.

 

"I was so wrong to hate you," Bagoas whispered repentantly.

 

"Bagoas, that happened in the past. We live in the present now." Alexander pushed himself to his feet, took hold of Bagoas' hands, and pulled his younger lover onto his feet as well. "Don't the memories fade with time? Have you tried to let them go?"

 

Alexander's words drew Bagoas in and he pressed his body against his lover's. Alexander still reeked of fever and sweat, but Bagoas didn't care, for he loved him.

 

"No, I haven't tried that yet. The memories are such a huge part of me." Bagoas rested his head against Alexander's shoulder and let his presence comfort him. /He has been my savior in so many ways – just like Hephaestion./

 

Hephaestion rose from the chair, wrapped his arms around Bagoas and Alexander, and completed the embrace. "Let them fade, Bagoas. Holding onto them will only bring you pain."

 

"I'll try," Bagoas promised. "I'll try to let them fade."

 

Their love would give Bagoas all the strength he needed to let them fade.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree  
Part 1

"Bagoas, something arrived for you!" It was a rare occurrence for the mailman to visit their remotely located cottage, but today he had delivered not one, but two packages for Bagoas and Alexander had been the one to open the door and sign for them. Alexander's curiosity got the better of him the moment he closed the door behind the mailman and studied the packages extensively. One of them could hold a CD. It was light enough for that and the format of the protective envelop suggested as much. But it was the second package which really aroused his curiosity. "What's inside this?"

"Something arrived? For me?" Bagoas, who had been napping on the couch in Hephaistion's arms, slowly pushed himself upright and staggered toward Alexander. Jared's morning robe, which he had remained fond of, kept him warm and during their last visit to town he had bought thermal socks. He hated having cold feet and, at first, he had feared Alexander would start a row for him bringing his cold feet to bed, but Alexander had rubbed his feet warm instead. That had felt nice, but as he didn't want to impose on his lover all the time, he had gotten himself those socks. 

"Just who did you give our address to?" As far as Alexander knew, Bagoas had only been in contact with Jared, but it wasn't Jared's name on the sender section. They were female ones. 

"A few ladies I met online." Bagoas blushed. "I didn't think they would actually follow through and send me this." Bagoas took hold of the first package, opened it, and revealed a CD to Alexander.

"What's on it?" Alexander kept his voice low, having realized that Hephaistion was still asleep. His lover looked so cozy and comfortable tucked away beneath a warm blanket that he didn't want to wake him. Winter still surrounded them and occasionally it snowed and froze. 

"It's a game called ‘The Sims’, Alexander."

"A game? Can I play?" Alexander, like the rest of them, was bored now that they were stuck inside mostly. They headed outside whenever the weather allowed for it, but after suffering so terribly from that nasty cold, he wasn't going to tempt the gods to give him pneumonia the next time the three of them fooled around in the snow.

"Let Bagoas play first, Alexander. Someone gave it to him." Hephaistion had overheard their conversation and now lazily stretched his muscular body. He then opened his eyes to take in his lovers' forms. Bagoas' hair still looked sleep-tousled, but the dark eyes were alert and glowing. For quite some time, he hadn't seen Bagoas wear anything else indoors except Jared's morning robe. The younger man *had* grown fond of it. Seeing the thick socks on Bagoas' feet made him chuckle. 

His gaze shifted from Bagoas to Alexander and his smile softened. Alexander was wearing sweats today and, at times like these, Hephaistion found it hard to reconcile the image he still had of his warrior-king with the person standing in front of him with such a wicked expression on his face. But whenever the weather allowed it, Alexander would practice his weapons' skill outside and then Hephaistion never failed to remember who Alexander had been in their first life. 

"Fine, I will!" Alexander gave Hephaistion a pouting look, but then remembered that there was a second package. "What else did you get?"

"In Zeus' name, Alexander! Let Bagoas decide when to unwrap his presents. Come over here, Alexander." Hephaistion lifted the blanket and reached for Alexander.

Alexander got the hint, walked over to the comfortable couch, and lay down in front of his lover. Pressing back, he sighed contentedly. He rested his head on Hephaistion's upper arm and smiled naughtily at Bagoas. 

Bagoas knew exactly what that look said: 'Are you going to open it or what?' He resigned himself to the situation and sat down at the kitchen table, which was just within range of Alexander's view. 

Online, he had joined a few LJ communities and had enjoyed chatting to the people there. One time, he had happened to mention just how remote his home was and they had immediately offered to send him stuff. He had declined at first, reasoning he could get things when they went to Athens, but the ladies had insisted on sending him these two items. 

The Sims game was something he was eager to try. Maybe he could create two characters, one that resembled himself and one that looked and acted like Jared. It would be interesting to see if those two characters would fall in love. Bagoas giggled and that sniggering attracted Alexander's attention.

"Hurry up, will you?" Alexander was dying to find out what was inside the bigger package. He wanted to wheedle more information out of Bagoas, but a sharp pinch applied to his buttocks by Hephaistion made him go quiet. "Ouch, that hurt!" It hadn't. Not really, but he liked to make a fuss over it.

"Then behave." Hephaistion still marveled over the changes which had come over Alexander in this life. In their first life, Alexander would never have let loose this more playful side to his character. Hephaistion liked it though...having a lover he could play with. 

Bagoas had finally opened the package and lifted something in white and red colors from it. "Oh, she really did it!" Once, on the net, he had chatted to this lady called Pie who made 'plushies'...at least that was what she called these little dolls and she had offered to make him one. Thinking she had said it in jest and that she wouldn't possibly follow through he had asked for a Hephaistion doll. And now, he had gotten one, complete with the long, auburn hair and those stunning, blue eyes.

"Let me see! Bring that over here!" If it hadn't been for Hephaistion's arms, which had come around him to keep him in place, Alexander would have jumped up from the couch to check the item himself. "What is it?" All he could see was that it was about 20 centimeters tall and sported brown, white, and red colors.

"It's the Hephaistion character from the movie." Bagoas finally took pity on the squirming Alexander, walked over to the couch, and sat down on the floor. "Be careful though. He is fragile." Seeing Hephaistion's inquiring look, Bagoas clarified, "The plushie, not you."

"He looks amazing!" Alexander pointed at the plastic weapon dangling from the doll's waist. "He has his own little sword." The next moment, Alexander lifted the skirt. "And he's anatomically correct! He has two little swords!" He declared them that way on purpose, knowing his words would draw a reaction from Hephaistion. 

"Just be very careful what you call little!" Hephaistion pinched Alexander's bottom again, harder this time.

Alexander couldn't help but grow aroused. Cheekily, he tilted his head and looked at his lover from over his shoulder. "We can measure it and see whose is bigger."

"The snowman would win," Bagoas deadpanned.

"The snowman has long melted, so he doesn't count!" Alexander loved the relaxed atmosphere that had taken up residence in their little cottage. Bagoas was letting his memories fade and was focusing on the present. Hephaistion had healed from breaking down at seeing his corpse and Alexander himself savored finally having the bliss which he had thrown away during his first life.

~~~

Alexander soundlessly entered the guestroom which had become their workout room as well. When it had become clear that they couldn't run during winter, Alexander had ordered some exercise equipment. The prominent machine was something called 'a cross country exerciser' and he couldn't get enough of watching Hephaistion work out on it. He slid down the wall until he sat cross-legged and gave his lover a lopsided look. 

Hephaistion tried to ignore him, not wanting to lose his rhythm, but Alexander's presence distracted him. "What do you want?" He was panting and beads of transpiration rolled down his body. 

"I love watching you." Ever since Hephaistion had begun working out on the machine, he had gained more muscle mass. His pectorals had become more pronounced and so had his upper arms and those delicious thighs. The auburn hair had been forced into a pony tail, but strands had escaped and now danced against Hephaistion's back. 

"You like watching me sweat?" Hephaistion was ready to give up. Now that Alexander was determined to talk to him there was no way he could maintain his concentration. Slowing down the machine, his eyes sought out Alexander's. "Are you frustrated because Bagoas won't let you play his new game?"

"No, I watched from over his shoulder and it's much too 'cute' for me. They're kissing and making out and stuff." Alexander grinned and watched Hephaistion's every move now that his lover's feet were back on the ground again. "But it did give me an idea – apparently there are also 'strategy' games out there. I would like to try one of those. Maybe we can look for them the next time we visit town?" Hephaistion's chest and boxers were drenched with sweat and it was turning Alexander on. His lover's masculine scent was strong and drew him closer. "I want you, Hephaistion." 

"Oh no, you don't! Not when I stink like this!" Hephaistion had picked up his towel and was removing the sweat from his face. "I'm going to take a shower now."

Alexander let him leave. He could have started an argument for he loved to make up afterwards, but he had seen the look in Hephaistion's eyes which had told him that his lover wouldn't indulge him this time. A moment later, the shower came on and Alexander returned to the living room, where Bagoas was playing his new game.

"How are they doing?" Alexander pulled up a chair and straddled it. "Are they in love yet?" 

Bagoas released an exasperated sigh. Why couldn't Alexander just leave him alone for a few minutes? "Bagoas is, but Jared isn't. Not yet anyway."

"Maybe you should create a Hephaistion character instead for your Bagoas. They will probably hit it off right away." From the corner of his eye, he saw the Hephaistion plushie. It stood popped up against the laptop's screen. Alexander reached for it and smoothed back the hair. "You could have asked for an Alexander doll instead." Oh, he loved annoying Bagoas just a little.

"Yes, I could have." Bagoas froze the game and accessed his mail instead. Now that Alexander was distracting him, he could no longer focus on the game. "Are you bored, Alexander?"

"What gave me away?" Alexander gave Bagoas his most charming smile. 

"The fact that you keep pestering me." Bagoas arched an eyebrow as he checked his inbox. There was a new message from Jared in it. "Why don't you go to the shed, see if there's an ax in there, and get us a Christmas tree?" He hoped Alexander would get the hint! Alexander was making him nervous and Bagoas knew that Hephaistion was also getting fed up with Alexander's annoying behavior. 

Alexander instantly perked up. "Now that's an excellent idea." It was December 21st and about time they put up their Christmas tree. "But we'll also need decorations."

"Then head into town and buy them." That would give him and Hephaistion some peaceful moments.

Bagoas' ideas sounded good to Alexander. "I'll do just that, but only after you tell me what Jared has to say." Bagoas had sent Jared an invitation to visit them for the holidays and this message probably contained Jared's answer. "Come on, open it."

Bagoas gave in, knowing that Alexander wouldn't stop pestering him until he knew the content of Jared's message. After opening it, they quickly scanned the content. "He accepted." Bagoas blinked; he hadn't expected for Jared to accept that invitation. "I was convinced he would want to spend Christmas with his family." But the message left little unclear. Jared would arrive at Athens' airport the 23rd, in two days, and would stay for a week. 

"That gives us only two days to decorate." Alexander tapped his fingers onto the wood of the kitchen table. He cast a look out of the window and found that the weather had cleared. At least it wasn't snowing or raining. 

"I feel better now." Hephaistion, smelling of soap and shampoo and wrapped up in a large fluffy towel, walked over to them, and came to a halt behind Alexander. He automatically looked at the screen and smiled, seeing that Jared was going to join them for Christmas. 

"Hephaistion? You're in charge of provisions and decoration." Alexander raised his head and made eye contact with his lover. Hephaistion looked absolutely edible, and smelled even better, but he had to get his priorities right, otherwise their Christmas would turn into a disaster.

"I'm what?" Hephaistion's soft blue eyes searched Alexander's.

"Take the car and drive into town. Buy enough food and drinks to last us two weeks and get all the Christmas decorations we need. Take Bagoas with you." Alexander nodded to himself. "Yes, that will take care of our provisions."

"Provisions…" Bagoas smiled warmly at Alexander. Sometimes, Alexander could still make it sound as if they were on a campaign in some remote part of the world. "And what will you do, Alexander, while we sacrifice our time by going shopping?" 

"Sacrifice? That's a good one!" Alexander grinned at Bagoas. "I know how much you love to shop, Bagoas. Why don't you take your credit card with you just in case you want to get me a little something for Christmas?" 

"That reminds me…" Bagoas accessed a site which offered some information on Jared Leto. "Look at his birth date."

"12-26-1971," Alexander said, reading the date aloud and then realization set in. "His birthday is during Christmas. That means the two of you also need to shop for birthday presents. I reckon that sucks, having to celebrate your birthday so close to Christmas." 

Bagoas nodded his head once. "I have no idea what to get him though."

Hephaistion placed a hand on Bagoas' shoulder, leaned in closer, and whispered, "I am certain we will find something nice." Next, Hephaistion's gaze settled on Alexander's face. "You didn't answer Bagoas' question yet, Alexander."

"I'm going to chop down our Christmas tree and haul it to our cottage." He would hike up into the woods and find them their perfect tree, but before doing so he would dress *warmly*. No way was he going to get another cold during the holidays! "And don't forget to buy lots of mistletoe," Alexander called out as he left to collect his boots and parka. 

"And why is that?" Hephaistion frowned.

"Because I want to do lots of kissing under the mistletoe!" 

~~~

"How did he manage to convince us to do this?" Hephaistion was in the middle of placing several boxes filled with Christmas lights into the trunk of their car, while Bagoas was dragging bags filled with Christmas decorations over. 

"Admit it...you're also relieved to have some peace and quiet." Bagoas sighed once his bags were in the trunk as well. "He has been driving us insane!"

Hephaistion smiled compassionately at Bagoas and closed the lid of the trunk. "It's because he can't go outside that much." During most of the year, Alexander distracted himself with riding Bucephalus, going for long walks with Peritas, and keeping up his weapons' skill. Those were all outdoor activities. "He will calm down again once spring comes."

Bagoas nodded his head once. What Hephaistion had said was true, but that didn't solve their problems. "What's next? Food or gifts?"

"Gifts." Hephaistion wanted to get the food and drink last since buying those would take up the least amount of time. "We should split up, Bagoas. I'm certain you want to buy some gifts without me present." Hephaistion suggestively wiggled an eyebrow.

Bagoas didn't understand at first, but then his eyes began to sparkle. Hephaistion wanted to shop separately because he was going to buy Bagoas presents as well. "Shall we meet here again in one hour?"

 

"Make that two. And Bagoas, you're also responsible for getting Jared's gifts."

"Why me?" 

"Because you know him best!" Hephaistion chuckled wickedly, turned around, and left poor Bagoas to his shopping.

~~~

Bagoas was growing desperate. How was he going to decide what gifts to get Jared? Contrary to what Hephaistion had said, he didn't know Jared that well! Walking into another store, a pair of furry hand cuffs drew his attention. Maybe, he should go for some silly humor!

~~~

"Are you deserting me? You too, Peritas?" Alexander raised his hand in a dramatic way and pretended being stabbed in the heart. "Are you really not accompanying me?"

But the dog just gave him another uninterested look. Had Alexander lost his mind? Did the human really think that he was going to exchange his comfortable, warm spot on the rug in front of the fire place for the icy cold outside?

"I am off on my own then." Alexander mock glared at the elderly dog and stepped outside. For the moment, the snow was gone, but the skies were grey, white almost, and Alexander hoped he would be back before it started to snow again. He rested his axe on his shoulder and started for the woods located on the cliff above their little cottage. 

This time, Alexander was on a mission – to find the perfect Christmas tree.

~~~

No, this pine tree was too tall and that one too bare. The next one was too short, and Alexander was about to give up hope when he finally spotted one which would fit nicely in their living room. When he had been little and living with his mother in the United States, they had often celebrated Christmas and he had loved the way their home had smelled of pine and the forest. He wanted to have that again. 

Swinging his axe, he took aim and began to chop it down. This tree was going to be their Christmas tree.

~~~

"Did you get the presents you wanted?"

With some envy, Bagoas took in the large number of shopping bags which Hephaistion was putting in the backseat. "Not as many as you."

Hephaistion grinned. He had managed to find everything he had wanted, including some nice gifts for Jared, but Bagoas didn't need to know that. "Are you ready to tackle the food stores?"

"You're in charge of provisions, remember? I'm only tagging along." And Bagoas felt thankful for that. "After all, you're the one with experience when it comes down to feeding mouths." In ancient times, Hephaistion had handled logistics for Alexander and had supplied the army with food, among other things. 

Hephaistion fell into step beside Bagoas and linked their fingers. Upon establishing that physical contact, the raven-haired beauty gave him a warm smile. As far as Hephaistion was concerned, Bagoas had always possessed a delicate elegant quality, which had set apart Bagoas from the other eunuchs in Darius' harem. "Are you looking forward to seeing Jared again?" They had never really discussed Bagoas' attraction to the actor and Hephaistion thought it was time to do so. 

Bagoas blushed weakly and peeked at Hephaistion's eyes, which radiated warmth and understanding. "I still feel attracted to him." 

"But you never acted on it." 

Bagoas felt relieved to hear no judgment in Hephaistion's voice and it encouraged him to be honest with the older man. "I wanted to, but he didn't."

Hephaistion didn't want to sound like a psychologist, but did so anyway. "And how do you feel about that?"

Bagoas gave Hephaistion a rueful smile. "A part of me regrets that he isn't interested in me in that way."

"And the other part?"

"The other part knows that Jared isn't meant for me. I belong with you and Alexander. He was right about that." Bagoas squeezed Hephaistion's fingers. "I guess this means it will be the three of us until we die."

Hephaistion returned the squeeze. "But we won't die for many, many years, Bagoas." At least, he hoped so.

~~~

"Stop fighting me, you bastard! You *will* obey me! I am Alexander the Great and you *will* surrender!" 

The pine tree wasn't impressed. It even aimed a branch at the so-called conqueror of the known world and whacked him in the face. 

"That's it! It's war now!" Alexander had been struggling to get the tree downhill for most of the afternoon and had become fed up. He grabbed hold of the top and resolutely dragged it behind him. "I conquered Asia once and I refuse to be defeated by a tree!"

Fate however seemed to have different ideas and Alexander tripped over one of the larger branches. He went down and kicked the tree in frustration. "I will best you!" Frustrated, Alexander regained a tight hold on the tree and simply rolled it downhill. As the tree tumbled downward, Alexander grinned and followed, whistling contently. Alexander the Great had carried out another successful mission! 

~~~

Alexander was already in the process of putting up the tree when he heard the car engine, which told him that his lovers had returned. Ignoring the tree for now, he headed outside to give them a hand carrying their shopping bags. "You're back early," he greeted them. His eyes almost bulged from their sockets then at seeing just how much they had bought. "What's all that?"

Hephaistion pressed three plastic bags into Alexander's hands and said, "Carry that inside. These bags hold the Christmas lights and decorations you wanted, including your mistletoe. You wanted them, you carry them."

"Sounds fair…" Alexander slipped the bags into the house and placed them near the tree, which looked ready to fall over and bury him beneath it. "Don’t you dare move," Alexander threatened it. 

"What did you do to that poor tree?" Hephaistion asked after he had placed most of the food supplies in their kitchen. "Wrestle it into submission?"

Bagoas chuckled; the tree had obviously seen better days. The branches drooped and the top was a tad flattened. "That poor tree."

"I can get rid of it," Alexander said, acting repentant, but not meaning it. After all, the tree had started it!

"No, we will keep it, Alexander. For some reason it fits." Hephaistion pressed a kiss onto Alexander's lips and smiled encouragingly at his embarrassed-looking lover. "Why don't you put the lights into our poor tree? Maybe it will look less sad once it sparkles." 

Alexander uncovered the lights from their boxes and set about carrying out his task while Hephaistion packed their food supplies into the cupboards, fridge, and freezer. Bagoas carried the presents into the bedroom and stored them beneath the bed. 

"I don't know about the two of you, but I'm exhausted!" Alexander collapsed onto the couch and stretched out. He gave Bagoas a long, challenging grin.

/Why is he looking at me like that?/ Bagoas knew that look! Alexander had done *something* and was just waiting for them to discover what mischief he had been up to this time. Bagoas' gaze swept through the living room and found nothing out of the ordinary. Even his laptop was switched off. So, what had Alexander done?

"Oh, yes, I know you want to cuddle with me and not with Bagoas! After all, I'm Alexander the Great!" 

Alexander's absurd remark made Bagoas frown and he shrugged his shoulders when he saw Hephaistion's equally bemused expression. He was about to ignore Alexander's behavior when he realized that something was missing – his Hephaistion plushie. The last time he had seen it, it had been leaning against the screen of the laptop. But the laptop had been closed and the plushie was gone. "Alexander…" Bagoas advanced on his lover and now detected a familiar white/red/brown form in Alexander's arms. "Don't tell me you're hugging that doll."

Alexander leered at Bagoas. "Why not?"

Hephaistion, who had been watching the scene unfold, marched toward the couch and sat down on the side. "Alexander?" His lover was acting most peculiarly and he wondered why.

Alexander sighed and his smile faded. "It's just… I feel locked up in here. I want to be outside…" He didn't want to admit it, but knew he had to ‘fess up. "I even enjoyed besting that damn tree."

Hephaistion pried the plushie loose and handed him to Bagoas. "Put it someplace safe." Next, he directed his gaze upon Alexander once more. "And you, you're going to work out using the cross country trainer and you're going to put it on a high level, do you hear me? You need to exhaust yourself physically."

Alexander sat upright and let his fingers glide into Hephaistion's hair. "And will you make love to me afterwards? When I am all hot and sweaty?"

Hephaistion sniggered; was that the real reason Alexander was acting so odd? "If you want to make love, why don't you simply say so?"

"I did, when you were all sweaty, but you headed into the shower instead."

Bagoas, feeling amused, watched them and listened. He wasn't getting involved at this stage. Better to let Hephaistion handle Alexander when he was in a mood like this. 

"You're feeling neglected, is that it?" Hephaistion pressed a kiss onto Alexander's brow and smiled at him. "Go work out and when you're all sweaty, call me, and then we'll make love."

"And you'll take me?" Alexander asked hopefully. 

Hephaistion's smile turned even brighter. "Yes, I'll take you, but first, go exercise." 

Hephaistion and Bagoas watched Alexander take off in the direction of the guest room. "His edginess will grow less once he can go outside more often," Hephaistion commented in an effort to reassure Bagoas. "In the meantime, we might have to wear him down in another way."

Bagoas rolled his eyes, understanding perfectly well what way Hephaistion was referring too.

TBC

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree  
Part 2

"You look exhausted!" Bagoas looked up from playing his game. His Jared character was beginning to warm up to his Bagoas character and they had even made out once. That was an encouraging development. 

"Alexander exhausted me." Hephaistion ran his fingers through his damp, tangled hair and collapsed onto the couch. He closed his eyes, rested his head against the comfort of the couch, and calmed his breathing. 

"What happened?" Bagoas deserted his game and sat down next to a naked Hephaistion. He longed to run his fingertips down the impressive chest, but didn't. Hephaistion looked drained and Bagoas wasn't certain his lover would welcome such a touch at the moment.

"Three times… Alexander made me take him three times!" Hephaistion's head lolled against the couch, but the eyes didn't open. "He was still hard after the first time he had climaxed and, since I was able to perform again after few minutes, I indulged him and took him again. But even after the second time he came, he still wanted more." Hephaistion opened his eyes and peeked at his lax member. "By the gods, I feel sore…" He hoped Bagoas hadn't come over to instigate any lovemaking because he was certain he wouldn't be able to get it up again. 

Bagoas slid his long fingers into Hephaistion's hair and turned his lover's face toward him. "And now?"

"And now Alexander's asleep, thank the gods for that." Hephaistion managed a weak smile. "Bagoas, I'm sorry, but I can’t…"

"I understand. Don't worry, I won't ask that of you right now." Bagoas pushed an arm between the couch and Hephaistion's shoulder and pulled him close. Hephaistion complied and snuggled up to him. "*I* will attend to Alexander's needs the next time he acts like that," Bagoas promised.

"Thank you." Hephaistion rubbed his cheek against Bagoas' shoulder and smiled. "Pull up the blanket, will you?" He had felt warm right after his bout of lovemaking with Alexander, but was growing chilly now. 

Bagoas pulled the blanket into place around them and pressed a kiss onto Hephaistion's hair. He loved the way Hephaistion smelled right after having sex. 

"I love what you did with the lights," Hephaistion murmured, feeling sleepy himself. While he had cooked dinner, Bagoas had taken care of positioning the Christmas lights and Alexander had decorated the tree. 

"Thank you." Bagoas also liked the way their living room looked. He had used the white lights for illuminating their tree, and the colored ones had gone around the wooden beams that supported the ceiling. Alexander had then hung mistletoe all over the place and scented candles had completed the lovely illusion. "I never celebrated Christmas before. In the orphanage they said they didn't have the money to do so and later in the brothel, celebrating Christmas was the last thing on their minds. I always wanted to experience this feeling just once." 

Hephaistion raised his gaze and met Bagoas' watery eyes. "This might be your first Christmas, but trust me, it won't be your last." 

"I love you so much, Hephaistion." Bagoas kissed the badly bruised lips and smoothed the auburn hair away from his lover's face. "I know this is real, but I still feel like I'm living in a dream – a never-ending dream." 

Hephaistion didn't try to convince Bagoas that the opposite was true – that this was reality. Bagoas knew that deep down in his heart. His lover only needed time to accept it. "Hold me? Hold me tight?"

 

Bagoas tightened his embrace and held Hephaistion now that his lover was dozing off. Looking at the bested Christmas tree, a smile surfaced on his lips. He was determined to make this their best Christmas ever!

~~~

Alexander didn't wake until the next morning and he awoke to the feeling of his lovers' bodies wrapped around him. Hephaistion had spooned behind him while Bagoas lay facing him. Raising his right hand, he caressed Bagoas' face, which looked so young to him – so terribly young. 

"Alexander?"

Hephaistion's muffled voice made Alexander tilt his head so he could make eye contact with his lover. "Good morning, you sex machine."

"You have been reading too much slash stories." Hephaistion smiled back at Alexander. "How do you feel today?"

"I'm not sore if that's what you're inquiring about. You were gentle…maybe a bit too gentle?" Alexander turned in the embrace and was careful not to wake Bagoas when he did so. Once he was face to face with Hephaistion, he fingered a strand of his lover's hair. "You have more stamina than I thought."

Hephaistion smiled and ran his fingertips along Alexander's cheekbone. "How do you feel today? And I mean emotionally. Less restless?"

Alexander nodded his head once. "Maybe I needed to get laid – really laid." 

Hephaistion chuckled softly. "Stop reading those slash stories! You're starting to sound like one of their characters."

"You know what I mean," Alexander retorted in a more serious voice. 

"I do," Hephaistion admitted and pulled Alexander close. 

Alexander smiled and asked, "You never told me if your father replied to that last message you sent. Will he be joining us for Christmas?"

"No, he can't join us for Christmas, but he offered to visit us around New Year's, which would be even better, as we only have one guestroom. I would hate for either Jared or my father to be forced to sleep on the couch, no matter how comfortable it is."

"Sounds perfect…" Alexander then couldn't help but run the tip of his tongue across Hephaistion's pecs and teased one nipple which he encountered in the process.

"Don't bother, Alexander. You exhausted me."

"I'll wait."

Alexander's words didn't reassure Hephaistion one bit. It seemed that Alexander's sexual appetite still hadn't been satisfied.

~~~

"Bagoas… Do you know *where* you're standing?" Alexander arched an eyebrow and gave his younger lover a very suggestive look.

Bagoas suspected he was standing under the mistletoe. Alexander had hung it all over the place! No matter where he went, he was always beneath the damned plant! It had been amusing the first few times Alexander had chased him through the living room in order to claim his kiss, but the game was losing its appeal. Now that Alexander was stalking toward him, he didn't even bother to run away. He bore the kiss with all the dignity he could muster, even though there was a lot of tongue involved.

"I told you before, Alexander, you have to remove the berries and once all the berries are gone there can be no more kissing!" Like Bagoas, Hephaistion also frequently found himself being chased through the living room. But contrary to Bagoas, he didn't mind as much and played along. Even more so than Bagoas did, Hephaistion regretted all the time they had spent waging war in their first life when they could have done this instead. 

"I'm not removing them!" Alexander shook his head, lunged for Bagoas, caught him, and gave him another sloppy kiss on the lips. "You're still standing under the mistletoe, my dear."

Looking into Alexander's sparkling eyes, Bagoas' demeanor softened. Yes, he understood why Alexander was being silly – Alexander was happy – truly happy. Now that the ghosts of their past no longer haunted them, they could live a more carefree life.

"What are you doing?" Alexander had released Bagoas and had walked over to Hephaistion instead. "That looks gross…" Hephaistion's hand had disappeared inside the turkey and his lover was busy stuffing it. "But it will taste great," he added, encouraging his lover to try his hand at cooking. "Need help?"

"Why don't you prepare the eggnog? But don't spike it too much!" Hephaistion now wondered if asking Alexander to make the eggnog had been a mistake. He knew they had a full bottle of brandy somewhere… He just had to make sure Alexander didn't add something like that to it. 

"I can do that." Alexander uncovered everything he needed to make the eggnog and always kept an eye on where his lovers were. The moment they would step beneath the mistletoe, he would move in and kiss them. But both Hephaistion and Bagoas were really careful of where they went. "Do you also want me to make dessert?"

"What's for dessert?" Bagoas asked from behind his laptop. He was playing with his Sims characters again and wasn't going near the kitchen. The few times he had tried his hand at cooking he had almost set the kitchen on fire! Alexander had resolutely barred him from doing any serious cooking in the future. 

"Christmas pudding, of course." Alexander didn't feel guilty for putting all that liquor into it. After all, Hephaistion had bought it and brought it home!

Hephaistion needed to get something from the fridge and stepped to his right. Alexander had had his eye on him for a while now and pounced. 

"What are you doing?" Hephaistion turned around and found that Alexander had firmly attached himself to him by wrapping his arms around him. 

"Look where you're standing," Bagoas deadpanned and continued to play his game. He had moved his chair so that he wasn't sitting beneath any mistletoe and was safe from Alexander for the moment.

"You’re standing beneath the mistletoe, my dear Hephaistion," Alexander stated, already seeking out his lover's lips. "You owe me a kiss." 

Hephaistion decided to take charge and placed one hard, rather passionate kiss on Alexander's lips. "Like that?"

Alexander sighed rather contentedly. "Yes, just like that."

~~~

"I think I'll leave a little early." Alexander had only now realized that he hadn't had a chance yet to buy any Christmas gifts and, when he had discovered the pile of presents beneath his bed, he had felt guilty. He should be able to gift his lovers with presents as well. So he had volunteered to pick Jared up from the airport and reckoned that if he got there a little early, he could do some shopping before Jared joined him. It would also give him his chance to look for a strategy game which he could play on Hephaistion's laptop. 

Hephaistion slipped into his parka and walked Alexander to his car. "Drive carefully, will you? They predicted more snow and the roads could get slippery."

"I'll be careful." Alexander slid his arms around Hephaistion's frame and kissed him. "Make sure everything is ready when we get back?"

"Bagoas and I'll clean the guestroom and the food is ready. Jared will find a warm nest here." Hephaistion probed Alexander's eyes. "Are you up to something, my dear?"

Alexander returned his lover's smile. "I'm only going shopping before I pick Jared up."

"Shopping? You? You're going shopping? Voluntarily?"

"Stop it!" Alexander playfully cuffed his lover. "I saw the gifts you tried to hide beneath our bed. I can't stand there empty-handed on Christmas Day." 

"Then do your shopping, but don't forget to pick Jared up." 

Alexander gave his lover a parting kiss and slid onto the driver's seat of the car. He started the car and put on the heater. He waited for the interior to warm up and only then drove away. Looking into his side mirror, he saw Hephaistion standing in front of their cottage, waving goodbye to him.

~~~

Alexander ended up buying three games: Caesar III (because he liked the title), Black and White (had to be fairly easy to tell the good guys from the bad ones) and Alexander (he *had* to buy a game named after himself). Playing these games should make passing time much easier without annoying his lovers too much. He knew he had been acting odd, but he wasn't used to being cooped up in the house and thus forced into being passive. His energy needed a way out and maybe he should work out more often. Using the exerciser had helped. 

Next, he forced himself to visit all kinds of stores in the hopes of finding nice gifts for Hephaistion and Bagoas. He reminded himself to also get at least one present for Jared. He didn't know if the actor was packing presents, but he wanted to be on the safe side of things. Once he had done his Christmas shopping, he was more than happy to leave the mad-shopping crowd behind him. It seemed like everyone had to get their presents at the last moment. 

Alexander returned to his car, placed the bags into the trunk, and then drove to the airport. Jared's plane was due in thirty minutes and he hoped it hadn't been delayed.

~~~

The delay was only fifteen minutes and Alexander could live with that. He picked up a newspaper at one of the stands and sat down, reading it. But his thoughts continued to drift off to his lovers – to Hephaistion to be exact. He loved him so much that it actually hurt at times. Maybe that was why he had never allowed his feelings loose during his first life – he knew he would never be able to put them into their little box again. His fierce feelings for Hephaistion had remained locked away during that first life and, now that he was fully experiencing them in this life, he sometimes didn't know how to handle them. Maybe that was why he acted like a retard at times when he was around Hephaistion. He simply loved him too much.

Folding his newspaper, Alexander rose from his chair, and checked out the new arrivals, which were just entering the terminal. Jared should be among them. 

Jared sighted Alexander first and raised a hand to draw his attention. "Over here!" He had been pleasantly surprised to receive Bagoas' invitation to join them for Christmas. He had hoped they would be able to stay in touch, but he was on the road so much that he found it hard to remain in contact with most of his friends. 

Alexander nodded his head once and advanced on Jared. He *did* feel relieved that most of the hair had grown back. The dark hair reached Jared's collar and softened his facial features. The blue eyes, which at times reminded him of Hephaistion's so much, sparkled with mirth. Dressed in a long grey cloak, Jared seemed ready to face the cold weather, which was a good thing. Bagoas had sent Jared a message telling him to dress for winter. 

When Alexander was only a few feet away from Jared, he noticed a man walking behind his friend who, for some reason, looked familiar to him. Large brown almond-shaped eyes, rather short but still wavy dark hair, and a face that possessed an attractive bronze tint led Alexander to believe that this young man heralded from a country located around the Mediterranean. /Where do I know him from?/ But Alexander forced himself to focus on Jared instead and greeted his friend. 

Jared enthusiastically wrapped his arms around Alexander's frame and held him tight. "How have you been, Alexander? It's good to be back here! But you should have done something about the bad weather!"

"That's one thing I can't control." Alexander returned the hug and took a step away from Jared so he could study the handsome face. "You look well."

"I feel great!" Jared patted Alexander on the back. He was about to pick his suitcase up when someone discreetly coughed behind him. "Oh, I almost forgot… Alexander, you don't know Francisco yet, do you?" He gave Alexander an impish grin and then stepped aside, revealing Francisco Bosch to his host. 

Alexander's right eyebrow inched higher. "I was wondering why you looked familiar." He extended his hand in greeting and said, "I didn't know you were tagging along, but you're welcome to stay."

Jared winced. "I know I should have told you guys, but it all happened on the spur of the moment. I didn't know he was coming along until the last day." 

Francisco felt uncomfortable and looked at Jared. "You said they were expecting me." Maybe this had been a stupid idea after all. But since he had been all alone for Christmas, Jared had suggested he tag along and Francisco had accepted, since he had not been looking forward to spending Christmas on his own. 

Francisco's obvious unease wasn't lost on Alexander, who quickly said, "No, please don't worry about it. We're glad to have you." There was something sad about Francisco's eyes, but he couldn't exactly tell what it was. The Spanish dancer was dressed all in black and, although the clothes looked comfortable and warm, they also gave him a gloomy appearance. Maybe Francisco's mood would perk up once he heard he would share a bed with Jared – or maybe it wouldn't. Realizing he hadn't even properly introduced himself, Alexander said, "I'm Alexander." 

Francisco nodded his head. "Jared told me about you. I have already met Bagoas. I like him. He has a somewhat unorthodox dancing style though." He had swung his duffle bag over his shoulder and was now waiting for them to get moving. He really had no idea what to expect from this visit and was wondering if he shouldn't have declined when Jared had invited him to tag along. He wasn't as easy-going as Jared, didn't make friends as easy as Jared did, and felt he really didn't have much to offer company wise. Yes, he should definitely have stayed in London. 

Alexander read some of Francisco's emotions in the other man's eyes. His guest didn't seem comfortable around him, but maybe all Francisco needed was time to get used to being in strange surroundings. Now that he was set in making Francisco feel welcome, Alexander decided to be on his best behavior from now on. "Come on, we should get going. They predicted snow and I want to be home before another blizzard starts."

"I had no idea it could get like this in Greece," Jared commented while dragging his suitcase behind him. 

Alexander suddenly realized that his suitcase wasn't the only thing Jared was carrying. He was also carrying a guitar case on his back. "Want me to carry something?" 

"Nay, I'm fine." Jared gave Alexander a smug grin. He had hoped Alexander would welcome Francisco with open arms. It hadn't been his intention to ask Francisco to come along, but he had made a stop in London before flying onto Greece and had used that opportunity to visit with his friend. When Francisco had accidentally let it slip that he would be alone for Christmas, Jared hadn't hesitated and invited him. 

Jared and Francisco followed Alexander into the parking lot and Alexander put their baggage in the trunk. 

Jared raised an eyebrow as he saw all the bags and the wrapped packages sticking out of them. "I didn't bring any gifts," he said, feeling like he had been kicked in the stomach. There hadn't been any time for him to hit the stores. He had just finished up shooting for "Lord of War" and had been doing some promotion for his band "30 Seconds to Mars". His spare time had been limited.

"Neither did I." Francisco felt even more miserable now and wished he *had* stayed in London. 

"Then it's a good thing I got enough gifts for everyone! Now don't start pouting, Jared. I have something for you too and for you, Francisco."

"But you didn't even know that I was coming along!" Francisco slid into the backseat, awarding Jared the passenger's seat. This way, he figured Jared would do most of the talking, which meant he didn't have to engage in their conversation that much since he really didn't know what to say. 

Alexander started the car and looked at Francisco in the mirror. "I'm sure I have something for you…"

Jared gave Alexander a suspicious look. He knew the antics Alexander was capable of. 

"Trust me, everything will be fine." Alexander finally managed to leave the parking lot and headed for the high way. "And Bagoas will be thrilled that you managed to join us, Francisco." 

"And what about Hephaistion?" Jared was looking forward to meeting Hephaistion again. Although he liked all three of them, he had felt most connected to Hephaistion...probably because he had played that character in the movie.

When Jared had first told him the names of Bagoas' lovers, Francisco had simply stared at him. Alexander and Hephaistion lived with Bagoas under the same roof and the three of them were lovers. At first, he had thought that Jared had been pulling his leg, but his friend had assured him that it was the truth and no, the three of them weren't any 'nut-cases' as Jared had phrased it. Francisco didn't feel that certain though. Something had to be wrong when three grown men took on names of ancient characters and tried to mirror their relationship. He felt on-guard and it showed in the way he looked at Alexander.

"Hephaistion?" Alexander pretended not to see the alert look Francisco was giving him. "Hephaistion is also looking forward to talking to you again." He had to tread carefully where Francisco was concerned – under no circumstances could they confide their identities to Francisco, not yet at any rate. Maybe he would loosen up once he realized he had nothing to fear from them, but Francisco was definitely more cautious than Jared had ever been. 

~~~

Bagoas and Hephaistion were ready to receive their guest. They had moved the exercising machine into the storage facility and had put fresh linen onto the bed. Jared had to share the bathroom with them, but that hadn't been a problem the first time around either. 

Hephaistion's main concern was the large quantities of brandy which Alexander had put into the eggnog. He was afraid to even approach the bowl holding the concoction for fear that he would grow drunk on the smell of alcohol alone. 

Hephaistion grinned at Bagoas, who was finally wearing something else besides Jared's morning robe. The black shirt complimented his dark eyes and the jeans hugged his behind snugly and Hephaistion gestured for his younger lover to join him on the couch. 

Bagoas complied and folded one leg beneath him as he sat down. Hephaistion had opened his arms for him to move into and he did just that. Resting his head against Hephaistion's shoulder, Bagoas played with a strand of Hephaistion's hair. Something had been on his mind of late and he was going to try to discuss the matter with his lover. 

"What's on your mind, love?" Hephaistion had sensed the tension that coursed through Bagoas' body. 

"Do you remember when we discussed my attraction toward Jared?" Bagoas trustingly met Hephaistion's eyes. After seeing his lover nod, he continued, "What would you have done if I had followed through? What would have happened if Jared and I'd had sex?"

Hephaistion looked at his lover thoughtfully and saw the curiosity in those dark eyes. He was relieved to notice the lack of fear in them. "Alexander and I wouldn't have judged you for it, if that's what you're afraid of. Our only concern was that we didn't want to see you get hurt. If Jared had been more receptive to your advances, we wouldn't have stopped the two of you. You're still very young, Bagoas… You died young in your first life and you didn't have much of a childhood or love affairs in your current one. We would have accepted it." Hephaistion smiled and cupped Bagoas' face in the palm of his hand. "But if Jared had hurt you, Alexander would have made him pay for it. I'm certain of that." 

Bagoas nodded once. "I suspected as much."

"Are you telling me that you're going to try your charms on Jared when he gets here?"

Bagoas quickly shook his head. "I'm not. I'm happy having your love, and Alexander's. Jared and I settled for being friends."

"If that's what you want, I'm happy that you got it." Hephaistion pulled Bagoas close and tucked the raven head beneath his chin. "Remember, we love you unconditionally, Bagoas. You'll have our love regardless of what may happen in the future."

Bagoas rubbed his face against Hephaistion's shoulder and felt at peace.

~~~

"I hear the car engine," Hephaistion murmured. They had been on the couch, watching television when he had heard the car. "That means they're here." He switched off the television and began to untangle himself from Bagoas' long arms. "Are you nervous?"

"To meet Jared again? No." It was the truth. He had made his peace with his attraction and it had already begun to fade. "Do you think we ought to warn him about the mistletoe?" Even right now, they were sitting beneath it. 

"No, it'll be fun seeing Alexander chase Jared through the room." Hephaistion rose from the couch, extended his hand, and pulled Bagoas to his feet. "Or maybe Jared will turn the tables on Alexander and chase him!"

"I'd love to see that."

"Me too, Bagoas."

~~~

Francisco's feelings of unease had doubled during the car ride. He had finally realized that Jared had talked him into spending the holidays with strangers. Yes, he had met Bagoas before, but what did he really know about the other men? He only had Jared he could talk to without feeling nervous and, knowing Jared, his friend would be off cajoling with the rest of them. So where did that leave him?

Alexander and Jared had already exited the car and were removing the bags, suit case, and duffle bag from the trunk. It gave Alexander the chance to whisper something to Jared, which he had been trying to do for the last few hours, but Francisco had remained alert and Alexander hadn't wanted his guest to overhear him. "He doesn't look very happy to be here."

Jared carried Francisco's duffle bag as well as his suit case and shrugged his shoulders. "That's just the way he is. He's the opposite of me: he's quiet, thinks too much, and I believe he is feeling a bit depressed of late. You should have seen him when I visited him. He looked ready to climb into his bed and spend the holidays there."

"Doesn't he have any relatives he can visit? Or fly in?" Alexander closed the trunk and noticed that Francisco had left the car, which cut their conversation short.

"I don't know," Jared replied in a thoughtful voice. "He never speaks of them." That had worried him at one point, but he had lost track of Francisco after Bagoas' visit to London and had stopped thinking about Francisco. 

"I can carry something too." Francisco wanted to help. Maybe it would help him fit in. 

Alexander realized that and handed Francisco two of the bags that contained gifts. "Then carry these inside. And button up that coat… You're likely to get a cold if you don't. Trust me, I had one recently and you don't want to be ill during the next few days."

Francisco buttoned up his coat and followed Jared toward the cottage. Alexander was still removing bags from the car and not joining them yet. Francisco's nervousness continued to grow. Would he be able to fit in during the next few days? What if they didn't like him once they got to know him better? What should he say? How should he act?

The door opened and Bagoas appeared in the doorway. He walked toward Jared and moved to take some things off of him. "Let me help." He was glad to see Jared again, but the attraction which he had felt for quite some time had thankfully lessened. He hoped that they could become *real* friends now. 

Jared had other ideas though. Precariously trying to balance the bags he was carrying, he swung his arms around Bagoas' frame and hugged him tight. Bagoas hadn't changed much since the last time they had seen each other in London. The eyes were maybe a little older, but also happier and the hair now reached below Bagoas' buttocks, but that was about it. "Hi there!"

"Hello, Jared." Bagoas carefully returned the hug and then stepped away. "Give me those before you break anything." He took two bags from Jared and was about to call out to Alexander to hurry when he realized they had another visitor. "Francisco!" Now that was a pleasant surprise! If he hadn't been carrying those bags, he would have properly greeted the other dancer.

"Hello, Bagoas." Francisco felt relieved at seeing Bagoas' familiar face. He had needed to see one. 

"Hephaistion! Come out here and help us carry this stuff!" Alexander was making his way over to the cottage and was dragging three more bags with him. 

Hephaistion appeared in the doorway wearing his parka and took in the scene. "We will have to add more rooms," he commented in a teasing voice when he saw the amount of bags. He blinked then, realizing someone stood in front of him who he hadn't met before. Tall, slender, elegant, and exotic-looking, the younger man looked breath-taking, but in a sad way. 

"Hello, I'm Francisco." He put down the bags and extended his hand, hoping the stranger would take it. There was a warm, almost tender expression in those blue eyes, which made him feel less self-conscious. "I know that you didn't expect me and I hope putting me up is not a bother. If it is, I'm sure I can find lodgings someplace." 

"Francisco, move your ass!" Jared was hauling his stuff, which included his guitar case, and wanted to be inside where it was warm and not snowing! He knew that Francisco tended to feel insecure. He had first noticed it when they were shooting scenes for Alexander, but he hadn't realized it had taken on such proportions. 

Hephaistion acted by quickly shaking Francisco's hand and then resolutely pulling him inside. 

"The bags!"

"Alexander will get them."

"Alexander is already carrying more stuff than he should!" But yes, he would carry the bags Francisco had put down as well. 

Hephaistion didn't let go of Francisco's hand and pulled him into the living room, where it was homely and warm. 

Jared released a deep moan when he finally disposed of his baggage and placed the case which held his guitar against the wall. One look outside told him that it was snowing for real now. Big, fluffy snowflakes floated down from the skies and refused to melt once they made contact with the earth. "We will be snowed in… Cool! I should have brought my snowboard though." Why hadn't he? 

In the end, all of them made it safely into the cottage. Bagoas and Alexander sorted out all the stuff Alexander had bought and put it away. That left Hephaistion to play host to Jared and Francisco, whose hand was still in his.

"You're welcome here, Francisco. We're glad to have you." A warm smile accompanied his words and he hoped being reassured would help settle Francisco's nerves, though why the younger man was nervous in the first place was beyond him. 

"Are you sure my presence here won't create any problems?" Francisco was very much aware of Hephaistion's warm fingers curled around his. Normally it would feel like a threatening gesture to have a stranger so close, but not with Hephaistion. 

"I'm sure." And for once, Hephaistion felt grateful at seeing Alexander fill glasses with his spiked eggnog. Maybe a drink would soothe Francisco's nerves. He finally released Francisco's hand and shrugged out of his parka.

Alexander and Jared did the same and also removed their boots. Francisco shrugged out of his long cloak and looked about for the correct place to hang it. It was Jared who took it from him and flung it over a chair. "Sit down and relax!" Jared claimed Francisco's hand and pulled him onto the couch with him, where he snuggled close and only served to increase Francisco's nervousness, making him blush. 

Bagoas lowered himself onto Hephaistion's lap and sighed when his lover's arms came around his waist to hold him. Alexander, carrying a tray, made his way through the room and made certain everyone had a glass of eggnog before sitting down himself.

"Wow, what did you put in there?" Jared's eyes had widened when he took his first sip. 

"Brandy," Alexander replied, raising his own glass. 

"Lots of it," Bagoas added, carefully sniffing the dangerous concoction. 

"You don't want to know how much." Hephaistion also took a sip and his throat burned due to the high alcohol content. 

Francisco wasn't so sure he should try it. He hardly ever drank alcohol and didn't know how he would react to it, but Jared gave him a look that said, 'Give it a try,' and he always had a hard time denying Jared anything. So, he sniffed, and then sipped… and wished he hadn't…

Alexander's eggnog was lethal!

TBC

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree  
Part 3

Francisco had felt tipsy before, though only twice in his lifetime, but he still recognized the sensation and it was enough motivation for him to put down the eggnog. Jared's warm body pressed against his wasn't helping him relax either. He reasoned that Jared was only so close because Alexander had also claimed a spot on the couch, but still, Jared was much too close. It was making him think things he shouldn't be thinking about.

It had started during the movie shoot of course. Francisco had never tried to hide the fact that he liked men best and, after they had teased him a bit with it, the crew had fully accepted him. He'd had no problems with the teasing because he had sensed that they did it to make him feel part of the team, but he had a problem with the fact that he had fallen for Jared – and had fallen for him big time. 

Jared, although always friendly and good-natured, had never shown any indication that he returned those feelings and Francisco had tried his best to ignore the stirrings of his heart...until now. Ignoring the fact that he was still in love with Jared was becoming increasingly difficult now that the other man was so damn close. 

"Hey, you have to empty your glass. That's a rule here." Alexander pointed at Francisco's glass. Actually, the eggnog was also getting to him, which surprised him. In his first life, he'd had no problems holding his liquor, but in this life, he had hardly done any drinking. This body had a rather low tolerance for alcohol. 

"Since when?" Bagoas arched an eyebrow. He was taking tiny sips, which stood in stark contrast with the way Jared had downed his eggnog. 

"Can I have some more?" Jared gave Alexander a lopsided grin. "I'll be nice and say please."

Alexander eyed Jared closely through a haze of beginning intoxication. "I don't think that would be a smart thing to do."

"I thought I was a guest here!" Jared pouted, crossed his arms, and glared at Alexander.

Hephaistion, trying to be the sensible one, deposited Bagoas on his chair after getting to his feet and then made his way into the kitchen. "Coffee or tea, anyone?" He was going to stay away from Alexander's lethal eggnog until after dinner. 

"You had to spoil the mood, didn't you, Hephaistion?" Alexander shook his head, but then decided to give in. It was still a bit early to get drunk. "Coffee. Black, please."

"Same for me," Francisco said quickly, realizing his chance to sober up. His glass was still half-full, but he refused to take another sip. He wanted to put his glass on the coffee table, but Jared was a dead weight against him even though Jared could move now that Alexander had gotten up to collect his coffee. 

Bagoas preferred, like he always did, tea and made some himself. "Jared? What would you like?" he asked as he passed Jared by on his way back to his chair.

"More eggnog." Jared wasn't nearly as drunk as he pretended to be, but he had fun confusing them a bit. It was also his way of trying to get Francisco to relax more. He had hoped that Francisco would drink more of the eggnog and had been disappointed when his friend had put it aside. A little alcohol was just what Francisco needed to unwind. 

"By the way, I forgot to tell you," Alexander said as he returned to his end of the couch. "Jared, you'll be sharing a room and a bed with Francisco."

That bit of information made Francisco's eyes go big. "What?"

"Oh, yes, of course, you only have one guestroom!" Jared didn't mind one bit though. It would be nice to have someone warm to snuggle up to when the temperature dropped. He would never have snuggled up to Bagoas, always respecting the fact that the young man belonged with Alexander and Hephaistion, but he had no such inhibitions where Francisco was concerned. Francisco was single and old enough to brush him off if he didn't want the attention. 

Francisco fought hard not to blush in front of everyone. Just thinking about sharing a bed with Jared had made him hard. "I'll sleep on the couch. That will solve our problem."

"What problem?" Jared smiled, tilted his head, and looked at Francisco. He hated seeing the loneliness in those big sad eyes. If only he knew what was causing Francisco to feel like that! Then he might be able to do something about it! "I don't have any problems with sleeping in the same bed...might be fun."

Knowing he was beaten, Francisco resigned himself to the situation. 

"I'm going to set the table for dinner. Bagoas, help me please?" Hephaistion, who was still rummaging about in the kitchen, had been studying Francisco for a while now and thought he recognized the look in the other man's eyes. "I'm sure that Jared and Francisco will want to freshen up before dinner and maybe unpack. Jared, you know the way around here, don't you? Why don't you show Francisco where the bathroom and guestroom are located?" He wanted a moment alone to speak with Bagoas and Alexander. 

Francisco was still trying to think of a way he wouldn't have to share a bed with Jared. He didn't mind having to share rooms, but a bed… How much more intimate could things get? 

"Come, Francisco, we should always do as the great Hephaistion says." Jared pushed himself to his feet, resolutely took hold of Francisco's hands, and pulled his friend to his feet as well. 

"We already put your duffle bag and suit case in the guestroom," Hephaistion said as he watched them leave. 

"That wasn't as subtle as you think it was," Alexander murmured. He rested his back against the kitchen wall and waited for Bagoas to join them as well. 

"Something's not quite right with Francisco." Hephaistion sipped his coffee and looked at Alexander. "What did you learn during your drive here?"

"Only that he's very quiet, reserved, and on his guard, though I have no idea why."

"Do you think Jared told him who we are and that it scared Francisco off?" Bagoas asked.

"I don't think so. Francisco doesn't know our real identities." Alexander was convinced of that. "Jared hinted that Francisco was already acting all glum when he visited with him in London."

"So this started before Francisco found out he was spending his holidays here." Hephaistion sipped again, needing the caffeine to drive the alcohol out of his system. He would be very careful the next time he drank any of Alexander's eggnog. "He seems lonely to me."

Bagoas nodded his head once. "I thought the same thing. Lonely and uncomfortable."

"Well, think about it," Hephaistion said, frowning. "Jared drags him off to Greece to stay with people he never met before, except for you, Bagoas. I might feel a bit uncomfortable too."

"Maybe this is just the way Francisco is?" Bagoas shrugged.

"Was he like this when you met him in London?" Alexander shared Hephaistion's concern and agreed that something troubled their guest.

"No, he wasn't like this at all…" Bagoas blew onto the surface of his tea, trying to get it to cool down. "Maybe we're not the right people to help him."

"What do you mean, love?" Hephaistion cocked his head.

"Maybe we should leave this to Jared. After all, Francisco is Jared's friend first."

"You have a point there." Alexander was inclined to see things Bagoas' way. "Let's give them some time to settle in."

"And you'll behave?" Hephaistion raised a finger and pointed it at Alexander.

"I'll behave when they're around… I won't behave in the bedroom though, Hephaistion." 

"I guess that would be too much to ask for," Bagoas stated calmly, yet in a dry tone.

"Who says I want him to behave in the bedroom?" Hephaistion asked, wiggling an eyebrow suggestively. 

Alexander placed his coffee aside, walked over to Hephaistion, wrapped his arms around his lover's waist, and pulled him close. "I'll be your tiger tonight if you want me to. I'll pounce on you and devour you whole." 

"I might like to watch," Bagoas whispered in a sensual voice. Maybe the next time they made love, he would like to watch instead of participate like Alexander sometimes did.

~~~

"My offer to sleep on the couch still stands, you know." Francisco watched Jared unpack while his friend hummed one of his songs. Jared possessed character traits which he sorely lacked. Jared's charm never failed and he constantly befriended people. Jared's ability to be so comfortable around strangers was something he envied. 

"Francisco, stop it. There's no need for you to sleep on the couch. The bed's big enough for the two of us." Jared stopped rummaging about in his suit case, turned, and gave Francisco a thoughtful look. His voice and expression were serious when he walked up to his friend. "Or does the prospect of sharing a bed with me seem so horrible to you?"

Francisco blushed and instantly lowered his gaze. "That's not it."

Jared drew in a deep breath, raised a hand, and pressed its palm against Francisco's cheek, clearly noticing the way his friend startled at the touch. "Hey, we're friends, remember?"

Francisco forced a smile onto his face. "And I'm very fortunate to have you as a friend."

"Fortunate? Why fortunate?" Jared cocked his head and took another step closer. Their faces were close and their noses almost touching. "Why are you so sad, Francisco? What happened? I don't know you like this." Yes, during filming Francisco had always been a bit distant as well, but Jared had attributed that to the fact that the dancer was only needed for a few shots. Francisco had never become a true part of the crew, who had constantly hung out together. "Why are you looking at me with such sorrow in your eyes, Francisco?"

"It's nothing." Francisco, who had fallen under the spell of Jared's compelling eyes, managed to take a step away and, by doing so, broke eye contact. 

Realizing it was too soon to pressure Francisco into telling him what was wrong Jared allowed the retreat and opted for a change in tactics. "Do you want to use the bathroom first?" 

"Yes, thank you." Francisco quickly turned around, grabbed the things he needed from his duffle bag, and practically fled the room. 

"Odd, most odd," Jared whispered, as he watched him leave. But he *was* determined to find out why Francisco felt this unhappy – this lonely.

~~~

"Jared? Can I come inside?" Hephaistion had seen Francisco disappear into the bathroom and seized this chance to talk to his friend. He blinked: Jared was standing in the center of the room, half-naked, and was busy slipping into a pair of combat trousers. The fact that his upper body was still bare didn't seem to bother Jared and Hephaistion approached when Jared gestured him to come closer. Well, if it didn't bother Jared that he was half-naked, it didn't bother Hephaistion either.

"I decided not to wait on Francisco to vacate the bathroom. He's been in there for almost on hour!"

"Maybe he discovered Bagoas' favorite bath oils?"

Jared chuckled, zipped up his trousers, and reached for his suit case to pull a sweater from it, which he slipped into. "I had a look outside just now. Man, it's white!" He should have brought his snowboard. He picked up his brush and rid himself of the tangles in his hair. He didn't bother styling it, reckoning it wasn't necessary. "Are you here to talk about Francisco?"

Hephaistion appreciated Jared's directness. "I'm not going to pry into personal affairs, but I was wondering if there was something we could do to make him feel more comfortable."

Jared sat down on the bed and made certain he faced the doorway, so he would see Francisco the moment his friend left the bathroom and stepped into the corridor. "It has nothing to do with any of you." 

"I figured as much."

"He's always been a bit distant, but nothing like this. My guess is that he's lonely… maybe even depressed. He was going to spend Christmas on his own in London."

"What about his family?"

"Alexander asked me the same question. I don't know… He never mentions them. But I also wondered about them. Why didn't he fly out to Spain in order to be with them? Or had them flown in?" 

"Jared," Hephaistion coughed, clearing his throat as he was about to bring up something delicate. "Can it be that he doesn't have any family, considering the fact that he hasn't brought them up around you?"

"That thought never occurred to me. I have no idea…" Jared ran a hand through his hair. "That could be it."

"As I said, we're not going to interfere. You're his friend and he doesn't know us – he hardly knows Bagoas to begin with." 

"Ah, is this the 'We trust you to handle this' speech?" Jared smiled. 

"Yes, it is, and you should be very grateful that Alexander isn't getting involved."

"He made some heavy eggnog, man, not sure I can handle more of the stuff." Jared gave Hephaistion a sign telling him that Francisco had appeared in the corridor. 

"Don't drink too much of it or you'll end up drunk." Hephaistion made certain his voice sounded carefree since he didn't want Francisco to worry about what they were discussing. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes," he said to Francisco on his way out. Bemused, he realized that the dancer was wearing Jared's morning robe. Bagoas must have left it hanging in the bathroom. 

"We'll be there," Francisco answered, feeling guilty for taking up so much time in the bathroom. The truth was that he had dozed off due to all those lovely fragrances which he had mixed in with the water. 

Hephaistion left and Francisco now faced the challenge of getting into his clothes without showing too much skin as Jared watched him intently.

"Want me to turn around?" Jared had originally wanted to tease Francisco with his bashfulness, but then decided that it probably wasn't the best way to make his friend more comfortable. Not bothering to wait for an answer, he turned around and sat cross-legged on the bed. "I thought you'd drowned in there."

"I dozed off," Francisco admitted in a soft, apologetic voice.

Jared smiled, but Francisco couldn't see it. "That's my morning robe you're wearing. I left it here during my last stay."

"Oh, do you want it back? Just give me a moment and I…"

"Francisco, stop being so nervous. You have no reason to act like this, trust me. You're among friends."

Francisco nodded once, but still felt uneasy in realizing he was wearing Jared's robe. He removed a pair of jeans from his duffle bag and a black shirt. After he'd dressed, he picked up the robe and walked over to Jared. "Here."

"Why don't you put it back where you found it?" Jared rose from the bed and cocked his head while standing in front of his friend. The dark eyes still carried that heartrending expression. "Why are you hurting?" Carefully, almost as if to not startle Francisco, he raised a hand and finger combed the dancer's hair. 

Francisco swallowed hard. He had dreamt of Jared running his fingers through his hair like that, but he reminded himself that they were friends – just friends and nothing more. "I always get like this around the holidays," he admitted in the end.

"Why?" Jared's fingers settled for caressing Francisco's face. 

"Because I always feel lonely around Christmas." 

Jared felt like pulling teeth. Why couldn't Francisco simply tell him why he got lonely around Christmas? "Is it because you miss your family? You could have flown out to Spain instead of coming to Greece with me."

Francisco lowered his gaze and pulled away from the caress Jared was bestowing onto his face. "There's nothing left for me in Spain." 

"Nothing?" Jared blinked in surprise. "Surely you have family there?"

"I no longer have any family." Francisco couldn't take any more of this emotional torture and stepped aside. He knew he was being rude, but he just didn't care. With hunched shoulders, he stepped into the living room, desperately needing to get away from Jared before he broke down and told him everything.

Jared was left standing there with his hand still poised in mid-air. What the hell had happened just now?

~~~

Francisco tried to act polite, friendly, and interested in his surroundings, but in truth, he felt miserable. Hephaistion and Alexander were busy putting the finishing touches to their dinner and Bagoas, probably looking for some distraction, sat down next to him – though not that close, thankfully. 

"This must seem strange to you," Bagoas said, offering Francisco a way to start up a conversation. "The three of us living here."

"I didn't give it that much thought to be honest." He had other things on his mind. Feeling Bagoas' inquisitive gaze upon him, he realized it was time for a distraction. "That's an odd tree you have there."

"Yes, Alexander isn't used to chopping down trees. He had a fight with that tree."

"But I bested it," came Alexander's voice out of the kitchen area.

"Yes, you did, you fierce warrior!" Bagoas' eyes widened as he realized what he had said. The three of them had agreed not to mention their first lives and now he had unwillingly done so in a minute way. Had Francisco picked up on it? It didn't look like it – actually, Bagoas wondered if the dancer had heard him at all. There was a distant look in those eyes that greatly worried him. 

Alexander gave Bagoas an admonishing look, but then also noticed that Francisco hadn't heard Bagoas' slip of the tongue. "Why don't you settle down at the table? We're about to serve dinner."

"And no eggnog! Not yet!" Hephaistion gave Alexander a look which said, 'Don't you dare offer it to them yet!' They could drink spring water or wine, but not the eggnog from hell! 

"Come on, let's not keep them waiting." Bagoas offered Francisco his hand so he could pull him to his feet.

Francisco caught Jared's stare when the other man stepped out of the bedroom they shared. Not wanting to draw more attention to his person, Francisco reluctantly accepted the offer and placed his hand in Bagoas'. The long fingers closed around his and Bagoas' hand felt warm, where his felt cold and clammy. 

Four of them seated themselves at the kitchen table. Alexander remained on his feet though, as he was still placing the last dishes onto the table.

"What do we have here?" Jared picked up his fork and pricked into the cheese topping of one dish which, until a moment ago, had been in the oven. 

"Well," Alexander started as he finally seated himself as well. "I didn't know if we have any vegetarians among us and, taking into account that Bagoas prefers vegetables over meat, I made one vegetarian dish as well." 

Jared gave Alexander a thankful smile. "I'm a veggies kinda guy."

"Ah, in that case, let me tell you what went in there. Don't want you to have any nasty surprises when eating it." It was also Alexander's chance to show off. He knew he had become quite an accomplished cook. "It's a casserole with the main ingredients of: beans, kernel corn, green pepper, celery, and onions, topped with cheddar cheese of course." 

"Sounds yummy. I'll have that," Jared declared, already spooning a generous amount of it onto his plate. Seeing their surprised looks, he apologetically explained, "I'm hungry!"

"And what's this?" Francisco only thought it polite to let Alexander explain. Unlike Jared, he *did* like to eat meat, but only the leanest meats.

"This is grilled chicken, Greek style. Be careful though, it has garlic." Alexander watched how Hephaistion opted for the third and last dish they had prepared: the grilled swordfish with caper sauce. Bagoas, as he'd predicted, ended up sharing the vegetarian dish with Jared, while Francisco tried some of the chicken. Alexander put a little from every dish on his plate and enjoyed his wine. Francisco seemed a bit more relaxed now, but the tension was still there, just below the surface. "And tomorrow, we'll have turkey."

"I'll have put on weight by the time I leave here again!" Jared said jokingly. He enjoyed a glass of white wine with his grilled vegetables and watched each and every one of them for a few seconds. His gaze moved on until he had made eye contact with each of them – except for one person that was. Francisco kept his gaze directed at his plate. Furthermore, Francisco was also the only one drinking water and not wine. 

Jared's thoughts returned to what his friend had said earlier, namely that he no longer had a family. What had Francisco been trying to tell him? What exactly?

~~~

"Can I now bring out the eggnog?" Alexander gave Hephaistion his most charming smile. The two of them were doing the washing up, while they had 'exiled' Bagoas and their guests into the living room. Most of the food they had prepared had been eaten, which made Alexander feel proud of his newly acquired qualities as a cook. "I will be careful not to feed them too much eggnog, I promise."

"They're all grown men, Alexander. They should know when they have had enough." Hephaistion, who was drying the dishes, had finished up and pulled Alexander close. Resting his brow against his lover's, he smiled happily into Alexander's eyes. "Did you get me any gifts for Christmas?"

"Trying to pry loose information? That won't work, my beloved Hephaistion." Alexander's hands had come up behind Hephaistion's back and now descended lower until they cupped his lover's buttocks. "You'll get your presents eventually though."

Hephaistion gently rubbed his brow against Alexander's and placed his hands on either side of his lover's head. "I don't need any gifts, my Alexander. I already have the greatest gift of all -- you." 

Alexander swallowed hard. Hephaistion was so close, those blue eyes so bewitching, his scent so familiar… All those sensations made a tear escape his eyes. "I'm so blessed to have you, Hephaistion…so very blessed." 

Francisco, who had been about to wander into the kitchen to ask for something to drink, stopped dead in his tracks at hearing their passionate declarations. It wasn't so much the fact that they were lovers, he had known about that, but the simple fact that they loved each other *unconditionally* that caused him to feel even more miserable. 

Francisco bowed his head. All he wanted was for someone – and he didn't really care who that was – to care about him too. But who would love him when not even his family could accept and love him the way he was?

TBC

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree  
Part 4

"Alexander, don't tell me you didn't notice where Francisco is sitting." Hephaistion carefully sipped his eggnog, which was already going straight to his head. He had vowed to limit himself to one glass of the deadly brew. At least one person should keep a clear head while the others were drinking.

"I noticed," Alexander replied. He hadn't drunk that much yet either. In his first life he had made an art out of getting drunk, but it seemed that had changed during this life. He had no desire to end up drunk either. "But I thought I should behave." Francisco was sitting under the mistletoe and Alexander had been studying him for the last hour. The sad, distant expression refused to leave Francisco’s eyes, making Alexander eager to do something about it.

Since Hephaistion was sitting next to Alexander, he had no trouble whispering his next words to his lover without being overheard by their guests. "Alexander, this is one time where I don't want you to behave. Go kiss him and make it a good one."

Alexander blinked; he had never expected Hephaistion to say anything like that! Francisco had opted to sit down on a comfortable chair opposite the couch when they had settled down after dinner. Jared was lying on his stomach on the floor, after having dragged the comforter from the bedroom into the living room, and he was using it as a mattress. That left Bagoas, Alexander, and Hephaistion lounging on the couch. "You want me to kiss him?" How in Zeus' name was he supposed to pass up an opportunity like that? He had to act on it!

"Go on do it!" Hephaistion carefully elbowed Alexander in his side and hoped his lover finally took action. 

Bagoas had overheard Hephaistion's scheming and agreed with his lover. Maybe Alexander's antics would make Francisco loosen up a bit.

"Uh, Francisco?" Alexander shot his guest his most winning smile. 

"Yes?" Francisco had been staring at his glass and the remaining eggnog in it. He had been trying hard to come up with a polite way to rid himself of it without having to drink it. Involuntarily, his breath caught upon seeing Alexander rise from the couch. The blond-haired man walked over to him and sat down on the armrest. Alexander was very close all of a sudden and his nervousness returned. Had he done something wrong?

"Look up." Alexander gave Francisco another smile and waited for the younger man to look up and notice the mistletoe. From the corner of his eye, he saw Jared shift on the floor and raise his head to see what he was up to. Jared was the only one who had managed to empty his eggnog and his expression had become a bit foggy. That was his second glass of eggnog, Alexander reminded himself. Jared had also had one before dinner.

Francisco apprehensively looked at the ceiling and saw doom hanging above his head. Alexander couldn't be hinting at the mistletoe and the tradition that accompanied it? 

"Tradition demands that I kiss you," Alexander declared, recalling what Hephaistion had said. His lover had told him to make it a good kiss. Sliding his hand to the nape of Francisco's neck, he lightly gripped the column of flesh there and brought the younger man in for a sensual kiss. 

Francisco realized too late that Alexander really planned to kiss him and found himself in a delicate situation with Alexander's lips firmly attaching themselves to his. Francisco's eyes widened as he realized that Alexander knew what he was doing. It hadn't been his intention to part his teeth, but somehow Alexander's tongue had managed to crawl inside and wrap itself around his. It was a good kiss, one of the best he'd ever had and he could feel himself grow flustered. 

Jared had pushed himself up onto his elbows and was watching them intently. Alexander kissing Francisco in that way stunned him. When Alexander had said he would kiss Francisco, he had expected it to be a mild and innocent kiss – not one with tongue!

Hephaistion smiled at seeing the fierce blush spreading over Francisco's face. He wished he knew more about the younger man's history. What had Francisco's lovers been like? How many had there been? Or was Francisco less experienced than any of them thought?

Pleased with the reaction he had achieved, Alexander slowly released Francisco's lips. He didn't pull back abruptly, but sucked on Francisco's bottom lip until their lips separated with a soft 'plop'. Smugly, he kneaded Francisco's neck for a few seconds and then released the younger man from his hold. "I hope I'll find you below the mistletoe a few more times, Francisco. Your lips are sweet."

Francisco felt embarrassed. The fact that he had enjoyed that kiss only made him feel guiltier because he knew that Alexander belonged with Hephaistion and Bagoas. Alexander had no business kissing him in such a sensual way! 

"Now tell me that it was a good kiss," Alexander added, still sounding rather smug. 

Francisco didn't trust his voice to keep steady and kept quiet instead. 

"He doesn't seem impressed," Bagoas commented, although he knew that the opposite was true, but it was part of a plan which had formed in his mind. 

"You're not?" Alexander had tried hard to make it a good kiss like Hephaistion had requested.

"Maybe we should hold a little contest and find out who the best kisser among us is?" Bagoas suggested, finally feeding them his idea. "We could all kiss Francisco and let him make the decision who gave him the best kiss." 

The sudden horror that shone from Francisco's eyes stunned Jared, who had never expected to see it. He had been about to applaud Bagoas' idea, but now he wasn't sure he should support it. At first, he had thought that such a kissing contest would help Francisco to lighten up, but now he reckoned it would only further his nervousness.

"I like that idea," Hephaistion answered as he realized what Bagoas was trying to do. "Alexander, you already kissed him… Bagoas, why don't you go next?"

"Yes, that way you'll have the means to compare all of the kisses and select the winner," Bagoas stated, addressing Francisco. "Alexander, make way for a true master where kissing is concerned." 

Francisco wondered if he should try to flee the living room, but quickly realized running away wasn't an option. They were snowed in and there was nowhere to go for him. Maybe he could change their mind with words. "I don't think that's quite necessary."

"Nonsense!" Alexander declared. "Just enjoy the ride… You *are* still sitting under the mistletoe so everyone has a right to kiss you." He vacated his spot on the armrest and returned to sitting next to Hephaistion. He had noticed the interested look Jared had given Francisco when Bagoas had brought up the kissing contest.

"Would you please stand up?" Bagoas offered Francisco his hand and noticed the tremors that moved through the limb when Francisco placed his hand in it. 

Just when he thought that things couldn't get any worse, Francisco found himself in Bagoas' arms. Bagoas' kiss differed greatly from Alexander's. Where Alexander's kiss had been domineering and passionate, Bagoas was gentle and teasing. 

Bagoas took his time and reminded himself not to come on as strong as Alexander had. He rested his hands loosely on Francisco's middle, leaned in closer, and pressed his lips gently against the other man's. He didn't try to pry those lips and teeth apart and opted to drag the tip of his tongue along Francisco's bottom lip. 

Francisco couldn't help it: he moaned. This was a sweet and seductive kiss which was more to his taste. He almost regretted the fact that the kiss eventually had to come to an end. 

"Good?" Bagoas asked. He smiled at Francisco, raised a hand, and caressed the other man's trembling bottom lip. 

"Very good." Francisco's voice shook and his blush deepened. 

"Looks like Bagoas now has the lead," Hephaistion commented and chuckled at seeing Alexander's expression. It didn't really matter who won. What mattered was that Francisco would hopefully feel more at ease around them once this was over. 

"Your turn, Hephaistion. Though I have no idea how you could possibly top that kiss." Bagoas bestowed a parting caress onto Francisco's face and then returned to the couch.

Francisco, feeling perplexed, remained standing. Those had been the best two kisses he had ever had! But now that Hephaistion was approaching, his nervousness increased. Alexander had taken him aback when he had kissed him – Francisco hadn't been expecting that. And Bagoas… Bagoas had seduced him, but now that Hephaistion was advancing on him, he knew what was about to happen and grew anxious.

Hephaistion saw the anxiety in those dark eyes and smiled reassuringly. He gently rested his hands on either side of Francisco's head and smoothed the dark hair away from the face. He had no aspirations to be the best. He only wanted to make Francisco feel welcome and maybe even a bit loved. 

Hephaistion tilted his head slightly and claimed his lips in what could only be described as a kiss full of respect and affection. It almost made his toes curl – almost. Francisco couldn't stop himself from raising his hands and tangling them in Hephaistion's long, thick hair.

At this point, Francisco started to pant slightly and he stared at Hephaistion's face when the older man set his lips free again. "That was special too."

Hephaistion smiled, leaned in again, and pressed another kiss onto Francisco's brow. "One more to go." He wondered if he had interpreted the looks which Francisco had stolen at Jared correctly. He thought he had seen attraction in them. 

"I'll win!" Jared stated in a confident voice, but contrary to his words, winning wasn't on his mind, but giving Francisco the best kiss he was capable of was. Hephaistion made way for him and Jared resolutely pushed Francisco onto his chair again. 

Francisco was actually relieved to be sitting down again – his knees had threatened to give out beneath him. But then Jared made his move, lowered himself, and straddled his hips. The way Jared was squeezing close made Francisco's breath catch. It felt like Jared was rubbing his lower body against his groin! 

Jared grinned now that he was getting the reaction he'd expected. Francisco looked beautiful flustered like this and Jared really wanted to make this the best kiss ever. He grabbed hold of Francisco's head, slid his fingers into the short hair, and leaned in closer. 

Francisco never got a chance to realize what was happening. Before he knew it, Jared's tongue was pushing against his palate, his lips sucking his, and Jared's lower body was pressed close against his groin. He had already grown hard after Alexander's kiss and now felt like he could come any moment, especially now that Jared was thrusting against him in a wanton way. Jared tasted better than he had thought, although he still noticed a strong remnant of eggnog on Jared's tongue. This kiss *made* his toes curl and he surrendered to the sweet sensation. Kissing Jared back, he only belatedly realized what he was doing, but it was the surprise in Jared's eyes that jolted him out of his warm and fuzzy feelings. Jared hadn't expected him to participate in the kiss!

"I think we have a winner," Alexander murmured and tried hard not to sound too smug.

Hephaistion had guessed that this would probably be the outcome. Jared was the least inhibited out of the four of them and didn't feel shy about kissing Francisco in such a way – Jared hadn't held back.

Jared was in no hurry to vacate Francisco's lap and, after ending the kiss, he studied the handsome face. The eyes sparkled, the lips shone from being kissed and, although Francisco looked shocked, there was also a glow to his face which Jared had never seen before. It was much better to see that glow than the dead look Francisco's eyes had possessed until now. "You're a good kisser too, Francisco." Jared felt amazed, hearing just how tender his voice sounded. Apparently, the kiss hadn't left him unfazed either.

"I think I need a bit more of the eggnog." Francisco's blush had added a soft glow to his face, but he felt more embarrassed than flustered. He'd had erotic dreams in which Jared had kissed him like that, but he had never thought it would happen.

Sensing that the magic of the moment had passed, Jared slid away from Francisco's lap and lowered himself onto the floor again. He crawled back to his comforter and settled back onto his stomach, but his eyes immediately settled on Francisco once more.

Alexander got to his feet, collected the eggnog, re-filled Jared's glass and added a little bit to Francisco's. "Don't drink too much though." 

A silence which was beginning to feel uncomfortable descended onto them and it was Jared who found a way to do away with it. He got up, collected his guitar case, opened it, and started singing Christmas carols. Sitting Indian-style, he continued to study Francisco, who in turn tried hard to ignore that he was being looked at.

In the end, all of them, except for Bagoas, who didn't know all the words, joined in. They spent the rest of their evening that way, singing, talking, and smiling at each other.

~~~

Once it was time to turn in for the night, Francisco wished he had insisted he slept on the couch instead of sharing a bed with Jared. He felt a little intoxicated due to the eggnog, but he was still way too sober not to feel concerned about the prospect of slipping in between the sheets with Jared. This was definitely a bad idea.

Jared had stepped out of his combat trousers and, out of consideration for Francisco's shy nature, he had kept his briefs on and had even slipped into a T-shirt. He sat on the bed on top of the covers and tried to think of a way that would convince Francisco that it was okay to share the bed with him. "I'll behave… I promise, Francisco. Trust me just a little."

/I trust you to behave, Jared. I just don't trust my reactions to being so close to you./ Francisco didn't want to undress in front of Jared. Although he had a well-trained body, he still felt self-conscious at seeing the perfect shape Jared was in. "I'll be right back. Feel free to go to sleep. You don't have to wait for me." He quickly picked up his black silken pajamas and fled into the bathroom, which was thankfully empty.

Jared remained behind – puzzled, but mostly worried.

~~~

Francisco sat on the edge of the bathtub and forced himself to draw in deep breaths. He had been in there for thirty minutes and he secretly hoped that Jared had grown tired of waiting and had already gone to sleep. He felt grateful that he had brought his silk pajamas, which covered every part of his body. He had buttoned up the top, making sure no skin showed. Running his hand through his hair, he forced himself to get to his feet and leave the bathroom.

~~~

He couldn't. He simply couldn't share a bed with Jared – not when he still felt attracted to the other man. 

His hope had come true: Jared had fallen asleep and was now curled up around a pillow below the covers. He looked cute asleep as he was and the strings in Francisco's heart trembled with affection for Jared. Feeling miserable, he turned around and headed for the living room instead.

The heaters had been turned down and it had grown chilly in the cottage. Doubtlessly, Alexander, Hephaistion, and Bagoas had all snuggled up together, keeping each other warm. He could have had that too, if he hadn't been so shy about sharing Jared's bed. 

Francisco walked over to the window and looked outside. The earth was white, even the shore which he could still see from here looked pallid due to the snow. The temperature had dropped below the freezing point and ice stars had formed on the glass of the window. 

Although he felt chilly standing there, he enjoyed the view and wanted to watch the sea a little longer. Looking for a suitable place to settle down, he saw a chest which stood below the window. Something white had gotten stuck between the chest body and the lid and Francisco felt the need to open it so he could put everything right again.

Careful not to make any noise that would wake Jared or his hosts, Francisco lifted the lid and realized that feathers which made up a plume had gotten caught between the body of the chest and the lid. He was about to correct that when his fingers encountered metal and something furry.

There was little light in the room. The only light that illuminated the living room were the silver rays of moonlight and Francisco seated himself on the floor so he could have a better look. The plume was attached to a helmet it seemed. His fingertips moved over the metal which felt and looked old to him. He was amazed to find something like this and stared at it for a long time. 

/I shouldn't do this. These items don't belong to me. I have no business touching them./ But a small box attracted his attention and while uncovering it, his fingers brushed against something furry again. He removed that item from the chest first, realizing it could help keep him warm. He was surprised to draw forth a long cloak made from what looked like grey furs. He wrapped it around himself and inhaled the scent it carried. It smelled old, but the scent wasn't unpleasant. 

Next, he opened the box and looked at the large collection of rings and necklaces made from gold, silver, and precious gemstones which it contained. His gaze was drawn to one ring in particular. 

Made from silver, the stone it carried was blue mixed in with swirls of green. It was amazing and Francisco couldn't stop himself from slipping it down his middle finger. It fit perfectly. 

"You should be in bed, Francisco. It's cold out here." Hephaistion regretted startling Francisco. He realized he had done so when the younger man tried to throw off the cloak and jump to his feet. "Calm down, my friend. You didn't do anything wrong." He should have hidden the chest better. It wasn't Francisco's fault that he had found it.

"I'm sorry," Francisco said quickly, apologizing for trespassing. "I know that I have no business snooping around in here." He almost panicked as he realized that the ring was still on his finger and the box open in his lap. 

Hephaistion sat down next to him and answered, "I'm cold too. Share that cloak with me?" He tried to radiate friendliness, hoping to soothe Francisco's nerves in that way. 

Francisco lifted the cloak so Hephaistion could wrap part of it around his form. "I want to apologize. I don't know why I did it. Normally, I respect people's privacy."

"You opened a chest and had a look at its contents. You didn't do any harm, Francisco." Hephaistion took hold of the jewelry box and let his fingertips caress the rings which had once adorned his fingers. "Alexander gave them to me, you know."

Francisco quickly removed the ring from his finger and placed it back in the box. "You love him a lot."

"And Bagoas. I love them both – each in the way they deserve for they are unique." Hephaistion closed the jewelry box and looked at Francisco's troubled eyes. "Why are you out here and not in a warm bed?" 

"Jared was already asleep when I returned from using the bathroom and I didn't want to wake him by slipping into bed." Francisco complimented himself with thinking up that white lie. Eager to change their subject, he asked, "Have you lived here for a long time?"

"A few years and we're happy here." Hephaistion decided not to press Francisco where Jared was concerned. Instead, he wanted to focus on something else. "I'm surprised that you accepted Jared's invitation to spend Christmas here. I would have thought you would prefer to spend it with your family." The pace with which Francisco paled alarmed Hephaistion. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Can I ask you something personal? You don't have to answer if you don’t want to."

"I'll try to answer," Hephaistion replied, hoping Francisco would confide in him. 

"How did your father react when he learned that you loved Alexander? That you were gay?"

"He accepted it. I don't think it made much of a difference to him. He's a very open-minded man." Hephaistion scooted a little closer so Francisco, who still radiated cold, could benefit from his body heat. "How did your father react?" he asked eventually as he realized that that question held the answer to Francisco's sadness.

Francisco laughed, bitterly. "In Spain, things are different. Most people are still practicing Catholics and my father…" His voice failed him momentarily and tears formed in his eyes. His fingers buried themselves in the fur. 

"Your father couldn't accept that you liked men best?"

"He believes that it's wrong… That it makes me engage in unnatural acts and he… He banished me from my home. He told me that I was no longer his son and that he never wanted to see me again."

"I'm sorry." Hephaistion reached for Francisco's hand and squeezed the fingers.

"That's why I left for London. I wanted to start a new life there, build a new future." Francisco chuckled mirthlessly. "But it didn't work. Yes, I made friends, most of them are ballet dancers like me, but I miss home – my family." 

"How long has it been since you saw them last?" 

"Six years… I was eighteen when I had to leave my family." Francisco peeked at Hephaistion's eyes and felt relieved at seeing the passionate expression in them. "A few weeks ago, I got a letter. My younger brother had written it. It said that my mother had died…" Francisco swallowed convulsively as he struggled with his emotions. "I wasn't able to attend her funeral. My father refused to allow it." 

Hephaistion wrapped an arm around the younger man and pulled him close. Francisco rested his brow against his shoulder and Hephaistion felt moisture spread over his skin. Francisco was crying and he hoped that was a good thing. "He didn't have the right to do that to you."

"But he does… He's the head of the family. He has all the rights." Francisco allowed himself to savor Hephaistion's closeness and the comfort the other man offered for a moment longer, but then raised his head and wiped at his eyes. "I'm sorry to bother you with this. I shouldn't… But it only happened one month ago…"

"That's why you're so sad." Hephaistion heard soft footfalls in the corridor and looked up. As he did so, he saw Jared standing there, listening, but not interfering. Jared's eyes revealed sympathy and shock. "At least you're among friends now." Maybe this was the time to tackle the second matter which he had wanted to discuss.

"Yes, I am… Though, I didn't realize that at first. I don't have that many friends, you see." Francisco had dried his eyes and was once more in control of his emotions. The dark eyes still watering with unshed tears stared at Hephaistion's fingers which were curled around his. 

"And you have Jared. He's a good friend too, isn't he?"

Jared perked up once Hephaistion mentioned his name. It hadn't been his intention to eavesdrop. He had left the bed because he had woken up alone and had realized that Francisco had never joined him. Growing worried, he had started to look for his friend and had found Francisco baring his soul to Hephaistion. 

The truth was that he was angry with himself. He should have found a way to reach Francisco and soothe him. Instead Hephaistion had had to do that. What kind of friend was he that Francisco would rather confide in Hephaistion – a stranger! – rather than him?

"Jared…" Francisco's voice took on a rueful tone. "Jared is a good friend, yes."

"And you would like for him to be more than just a friend," Hephaistion stated, confident that he had drawn the right conclusions.

"He can't be more than a good friend – he doesn't feel that way about me."

Jared's eyes widened. What?

"But you *do* care about him in that way," Hephaistion said, not giving up that easily. 

"I do…" Francisco saw no reason to lie to Hephaistion. "I fell for him during the movie shoot, but he's way out of my league." 

Jared blinked rapidly. He was?

"I'm content to have him as a friend." Francisco raised shy eyes and smiled at Hephaistion. "I'm glad I accepted his invitation to spend the holidays with you. If it hadn't been for that invitation, I would be feeling sorry for myself – all alone at home in bed." Francisco lowered his gaze again. /And now I'm feeling sorry for myself here and am ruining the mood./

Jared shook his head, trying to accept everything he had heard. The fact that Francisco's father didn't accept him the way he was made him angry as hell, but what had really stunned him was learning that his friend had a crush on him. /Now I know why he didn't want to share the bed with me! Why didn't I realize that before?/

"You can sleep on the couch if you really want to, but promise me that you won't remain sitting on the cold floor." Hephaistion was in the process of getting to his feet and waited for Francisco to make up his mind on what he wanted to do next. 

"I'll take the couch." Francisco pushed himself to his feet and was about to hand the furs back to Hephaistion and add another apology when Hephaistion beat him to it.

"You can use that to keep you warm, but it must smell terribly." Hephaistion had regained his hold on Francisco's hand and guided him over to the couch. Francisco sat down and Hephaistion raised his feet so his guest was finally lying down. "Try to sleep," he urged and bowed down to press a kiss on Francisco's brow. "We'll talk some more in the morning."

Now that he had bared his soul and had wept, Francisco felt tired enough to close his eyes. He dozed off within seconds.

Hephaistion tucked the furs around Francisco's form and then walked over to where Jared was standing looking bewildered. 

"I didn't know any of that," Jared said and released the breath he had been holding. 

Hephaistion raised a hand and cupped Jared's cheek. "He needs you, Jared. If you can't return his feelings, that's fine. No one can force you to love him, but you can be his friend. If you really care for him as a friend, you'll support him and be there for him, especially during these days."

"I'll help him." Jared nodded his head and gave Hephaistion a thankful look. "You handled that well. I don’t know if I could have stayed that calm, hearing what his father is like."

"If you care for him, you'll put your needs aside for a little while and focus on his."

"Like you do whenever Alexander needs you?"

"And he does the same when I need him. It's called friendship, Jared. It's at the very base of love… Alexander and I were friends before we became lovers and eventually realized we were soul mates." 

"I understand." Jared drew in a deep breath, smiled at Hephaistion, and entered the living room.

Now that his work was done, Hephaistion returned to his bedroom and snuggled up to his lovers.

But for Jared, the real work was only about to begin. Seeing that the couch would hold the two of them, Jared carefully lifted the furs and lay down on his side, facing Francisco. Gently, so he wouldn't wake Francisco, he managed to wrap his arms around the other man. He moved him closer until Francisco's head rested against his shoulder and then Jared tucked Francisco's head beneath his chin. 

He had learned a valuable lesson that day and he was going to prove to Francisco what a good friend he was. He didn't know if he could give Francisco everything he needed, but he was going to try to be there for Francisco every way he could.

Determined not to fail his friend, Jared gave in to his own feelings of fatigue and followed Francisco into sleep.

TBC

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree  
Part 5

Francisco felt warm when he started to wake up. Something hairy teased against his face and he recalled Hephaistion tucking the furs around him. But then the skin-on-skin contact registered as well and threw him off balance. His eyes were still closed and he kept them that way, not ready yet to face the person who was holding him. He thought he recognized the other man's scent as Jared's, but that couldn't be. The only logical conclusion for him to reach was that Hephaistion had snuggled up to him.

Hephaistion… The other man was quickly becoming a good friend, but at the same time, Francisco wondered who Hephaistion really was. Surely that couldn't be his real name? Then he recalled the chest and its content. What was it doing here? That helmet...why would anyone keep something like that close?

"Is he awake yet, Jared?" Hephaistion soundlessly entered the living room to check on his guests. He had been unable to sleep for the reminder of the night and eventually his unease must have registered with the sleeping Alexander, who had woken up and urged him to discuss Francisco with him – which they had done softly in order not to wake Bagoas. 

Before leaving the bed, Hephaistion had asked Alexander to update Bagoas once their lover woke. He felt it was important that everyone knew that Francisco had only recently lost his mother and he wondered if they shouldn't adjust their behavior to this news. Acting so cheerfully might not be appropriate right now.

Hephaistion had reached the couch and studied Francisco's face. He had seen men feign sleep before and knew instantly that Francisco was faking it. The young man was already awake, but Hephaistion decided against calling him on it. 

"Nah, he's still asleep and I hope he'll stay that way. He probably hasn't had much sleep during these last few weeks." Jared smiled at the sleeping face and gently caressed Francisco's short hair. "And I don't mind holding him."

Hephaistion smiled at the two of them. The fact that Jared enjoyed holding Francisco was a good start. "I'll make breakfast. What do you usually have, Jared?" 

"Scrambled eggs on toast and some black coffee please." Jared gave Hephaistion a grateful look and then focused his attention on Francisco again. He knew that Francisco was a few years younger than he was, but his friend had never looked so young and vulnerable before and holding him like this was awakening feelings in him – he just didn't know exactly what.

~~~

There was no way out of it. It was time for him to open his eyes and face them. He had drawn the confrontation out for a good thirty minutes, but his stomach growled hungrily now that the fragrances of coffee, eggs, toast, bacon, and something sweet filled the cottage. He steeled himself for meeting Jared's gaze and opened his eyes.

"Good morning," Jared said in a warm voice. "You woke up just in time. Breakfast is almost ready."

Francisco couldn't help it...he had to know. "What are you doing here?" How had Jared ended up on the couch? He locked out the noise coming from the kitchen area. Alexander had joined Hephaistion and was now chasing him all over the kitchen, trying to position some mistletoe over his lover's head. Hearing them fool around warmed his heart, but the sad thing was that it also made it very clear that he didn't have a person to chase around the kitchen. 

Jared decided to be completely honest. He wasn't the type to make up lies. "I woke last night and realized that you had never climbed into bed so I went looking for you. I overheard your conversation with Hephaistion and… I just want to say I'm sorry that your father treated you like that." Jared sucked in his breath at seeing the dark eyes go impossibly big. It almost looked like Francisco was going to cry again. 

"Did you hear everything?" Francisco was beginning to panic, recalling the second part of the conversation in which he had admitted to being in love with Jared – with the very man who was now holding him. 

"Yeah, I did and I must say I'm flattered. I never expected that." Jared made certain that his tone and expression remained tender and accepting throughout their conversation. "I'll be honest though and admit that I don't really know how I feel about you. I would have to get to know you a lot better…"

Francisco swallowed nervously in an attempt to control his panic. Jared knew! 

"But I *do* know that I want to be your friend, Francisco. And Hephaistion told me something very important, namely that friendship is at the very base of love. Maybe we should start there and see what happens?" Maintaining a relationship would be hard for the both of them. Once the holidays were over, Francisco would return to London for his work and he would head for the States to do another movie or tour with his band. But they *would* make an effort to make it work, he promised himself that much. 

Alexander cocked his head, caught Hephaistion's attention by doing so, and nodded in the direction of the living room. "Methinks something beautiful just happened."

"Don't go all poetic on me, Alexander." But Hephaistion was grinning, seeing where Alexander's eavesdropping had led him to stand. "You owe me a kiss."

"Do I?" Alexander looked up and realized he was standing under the mistletoe. "Then come and claim it."

Hephaistion did just that and they shared another kiss under the mistletoe.

~~~

"When will we exchange gifts?" Bagoas had snuggled up to Alexander and they were lounging on the couch. Hephaistion was in the kitchen with Francisco helping him prepare lunch and Jared was jamming on his guitar. 

"It's the 24th," Hephaistion replied from the kitchen. "We can swap one gift this evening and open the rest of them tomorrow morning." It had been like that at his home. His father had always given him at least one present the day before Christmas and the rest on Christmas morning. That way he wouldn't nag all night to get his presents.

"I like that idea!" Jared had stopped playing and looked at Francisco, who was buttering the bread. He was determined to pay his friend more attention. They would see where their friendship would lead them. If they were supposed to be together, they would.

Francisco looked up from his work and noticed the brilliant smile Jared was giving him. Shyly, he returned it. He didn't know how he felt about the fact that Jared now knew the truth. No, that was a lie. He did know one thing for certain – he was very glad that Jared wasn't shunning him because he was in love with him.

~~~

"Francisco? I saved you a spot." This time, Jared had taken possession of the couch. He had stretched out his legs and now raised a hand in the hope Francisco would take the hint and settle down against him. He hadn't brought up the sleeping arrangements again, hoping Francisco would feel less awkward tonight and share the bed with him. 

Francisco blushed, but as he wanted to be close to Jared, he accepted the invitation and sat down next to his friend. Jared immediately wrapped an arm around him and Francisco rested his head against Jared's shoulder. This felt nice. 

"Uh, Hephaistion, Alexander *did* tell you that we didn't bring presents right?" Jared felt a little bit guilty about that.

"Don't worry about it. We were also caught off guard when Francisco joined us." Hephaistion was busy placing the gifts he had bought beneath the Christmas tree. Bagoas and Alexander had done so earlier. It was an impressive mountain of gifts that had gathered there. 

Bagoas, who had been following Francisco around with his eyes, wondered about something, but he wasn't sure he should bring it up, though. "There is a small town maybe a half hour's walk away from here and they hold a service around midnight to celebrate Christmas. I was wondering if anyone wanted to go." The snow had melted during the day and, although it was still chilly, they would have no trouble reaching it. 

Francisco, as Bagoas had suspected, perked up. "I would like that… That's if I'm not the only one."

"I'm not religious, but I'll go," Jared commented, smiling at Francisco. Like Hephaistion had said, this was the time to think of Francisco's needs first.

"I have to go, otherwise the three of you will get lost." Alexander didn't mind though. He was itching to go outside for a good walk. Peritas, who seemed to have understood the word 'walk' Bagoas had uttered earlier, raised his head. He was willing to go too, but not that far. Maybe he would tag along for a few minutes. The cold always made his bones quickly stiffen. 

"And someone has to watch you, Alexander. I can't let you out of my sight and you know it." Hephaistion privately applauded Bagoas with this excellent idea. Francisco had probably been raised in a way that religion had taken on an important part in his life. Maybe he would somehow find hope by attending that service. Not all religious people were as conservative as his father. "And after we attend the service, everyone will get a present."

"Sounds good to me." Jared snuggled Francisco closer and realized how perfectly the younger man fit in his arms. He'd already had many dates in his life and kept dating others, but he had never found someone he could envision himself spending the rest of his life with. But Francisco was different. This was the first man in his arms and Jared like the differences the experience brought with it. But Hephaistion's advice reminded him to go slow and see what happened.

~~~

They no longer looked recognizable wrapped up in long cloaks, parkas, scarves, and caps to keep the cold wind away from their faces. Once they had reached the small church, they had stood in the back and had watched the ceremony. The end of it was that the inhabitants of the village lit a candle. After doing that, they left one by one.

"I want to light a candle too," Francisco whispered as he looked at Jared. Jared had captured his arm with his own when they had left the cottage and hadn't let go since. Knowing Jared was so close and supporting him was doing Francisco lots of good. "But I don't have any money on me." In exchange for burning a candle a small donation was asked, which would go to restoring the church. 

"I have." Hephaistion always kept some change in his pocket and handed Francisco the money. "We will wait outside."

While Alexander, Hephaistion, and Bagoas made their way out of the church, Jared and Francisco headed to the altar which already carried dozens of candles. A statue of the Virgin Mary was placed over the altar and she smiled invitingly at them. 

Jared remained quiet and let Francisco do what he wanted to do, respecting his friend's beliefs. 

Francisco deposited the money into a small box, took hold of a candle, and lit it. He placed it alongside the others, bowed his head, and offered a prayer. He was thinking of his mother and the fact that he hadn't been able to say his goodbyes to her. He loved her and he hoped his mother had earned her little place in heaven. 

Jared peeked at his friend's face and saw tears flowing down Francisco's face. He reacted by letting go of Francisco's arm and caught the clammy fingers in his instead. He twined their fingers and squeezed tightly, letting Francisco know that he wasn't alone.

That gesture made Francisco smile through his tears and he shyly met Jared's gaze. "I hope she died peacefully." He didn't know that much about her passing. His brother's letter hadn't held any details. "I loved her. I hope she is at peace now."

Jared drew in a deep breath and placed himself in Francisco's situation. What if his mother had died, or Shannon, and he hadn't been allowed to attend the funeral? He would have been mad as hell, but even more, he would have felt wounded – so deeply that he might have given up his trust in the people around him. But not Francisco. "You can keep her alive by remembering her, Francisco. If you do that, she'll always be a part of you."

Francisco's smile became warmer. "Thank you for those kind words." He was done here and it was time they joined the others. In a small way, he had finally been able to say goodbye to her.

~~~

"Hot chocolate anyone?" Hephaistion had managed to beat Alexander to offering them his eggnog. The hot chocolate, although spiked with rum, would do far less damage than the deadly eggnog.

"Oh, you said the magic words!" Jared had stormed into the kitchen and was excitedly shuffling his feet. "Can I help?" He just loved hot chocolate!

"Sure, here, boil the milk, but don't let it burn." Hephaistion cast a look into the living room and saw Alexander making out with Bagoas because they were both standing under the mistletoe and 'just a kiss wouldn't do!' according to Alexander. 

Francisco had seated himself on the chest near the window and had covered himself with the furs. Hephaistion frowned. Francisco had to be wondering about them, the chest, and the rings, but he doubted the younger man would ever make the connection. That left him with a dilemma: should he tell Francisco who they had been in their first lives or not?

"Francisco mentioned finding a stunning helmet to me earlier," Jared commented in an attempt to start up a conversation. "He has no idea who you guys are, but don't you think he deserves to know?"

Hephaistion shrugged. "What good will it do him to know who we once were? And will he believe us?"

"He might. It might take him time, but I believed you, didn't I?" The milk had come to a boil and Jared poured it into the mugs Hephaistion had prepared. "If you feel uncomfortable telling him, I could do it."

"I need to discuss this with Alexander and Bagoas first." Hephaistion didn't want to make this decision on his own. "Let's join them now." 

Jared carried the tray holding the mugs with hot chocolate and nibbled on his bottom lip, trying hard not to stumble or spill. 

"Come over here, Francisco. There is a draft near the window." Hephaistion patted the space on the couch in between Jared and him. 

Francisco regretted having to part with the warm furs, but he left them atop the chest. He settled down between Hephaistion and Jared and warmed his hands by wrapping them around his mug. He was dying to ask Hephaistion about the helmet, why it was there, and if it really was as old as it looked, but he didn't want to pry. However, he did feel like he was being kept out of something, but he didn't know what kind of secret they were hiding from him. 

"It's time for the presents!" Alexander made his way over to the Christmas tree first and studied the presents for a long time. Everyone would get to open one, so he carefully had to decide who would get that gift from him. In the end, he picked up a package and placed it on Bagoas' lap. "Merry Christmas," he said and placed a sloppy kiss on Bagoas' lips.

Bagoas gave Alexander a warm smile and then removed the wrapping paper. He was curious what Alexander had bought him. The warm smile got even more tender as he realized Alexander knew him so very well. "They are lovely!" Inside the package were twelve small perfume bottles, each sporting exotic colors and forms. "Egyptian style?" 

"Hand-blown in Egypt, yes. I thought you would appreciate the idea." Alexander smiled, relieved that Bagoas seemed to like his gift. He had played it safe, knowing of Bagoas' fondness for perfumes and bath oils. 

"I love them, thank you." Bagoas rose from his chair, made his way over to Alexander, and kissed him on the lips. Now it was his turn to select a gift. Bagoas decided to play it safe and picked up a package which he had intended to give Hephaistion. He placed it on his lover's lap, leaned in closer, and whispered, "Sexy Christmas to you, my love."

Hephaistion blushed weakly, amazed that after all that time, Bagoas could still make him go flustered. "What did you do?"

"I realized I was in the right store when I saw some furry hand cuffs," Bagoas replied, still smiling at Hephaistion as he seated himself again. 

Hephaistion wondered if he ought to grow nervous now. Trying to 'feel out' the item, Hephaistion frowned, realizing he might be dealing with a hard-cover book. "You got me a book?"

"Just open it!" Alexander was way more curious than Hephaistion was, especially since Bagoas had mentioned that the store had carried handcuffs!

Hephaistion finally removed the wrapping paper and laughed warmly. "The gay karma sutra? Bagoas, don't you already know all the positions in there?" he asked teasingly. 

"I might know them, but the two of you don't know them yet!" Bagoas grinned, pleased that Hephaistion was already leafing through the book. "Maybe we can try some of those positions tonight?"

"I don't know if I'm that flexible," Hephaistion commented and cringed at the complicated position he had happened upon on. 

"Your turn!" Alexander shifted excitedly in his chair. 

Hephaistion had pity on Alexander and dropped the book onto his lover's lap as he passed him by. "Here, for you to pass the time."

Alexander didn't waste any time and opened the book, nosing around in it. 

Hephaistion bowed down and picked up a really tiny present. It was roughly one inch by one inch. A smile formed on his face as he made his way over to Francisco. "I want you to have this, Francisco."

Francisco swallowed hard, as he had never expected to get something as well. "For me?"

"Yes, open it." This time, Hephaistion seated himself next to Alexander, wanting to keep an eye on the position his lover might decide on. Sipping his hot chocolate, he looked at Bagoas and found his lover smiling fondly right back at him. Bagoas had wanted to make this the perfect Christmas and it looked like he would succeed.

Francisco's hands trembled as he removed the wrapping. He had a hard time doing so, because the object was so tiny that it was hard to get hold of the paper. In the end, he uncovered a small black jewelry box. "Are you sure this is for me? Maybe you made a mistake and it's meant for someone else?"

"Trust me, it's yours." Hephaistion smiled at Francisco and then shook his head at Alexander, clearly telling him that *that* position was out of the question. 

The tremors that shook Francisco's hands increased and he felt embarrassed for letting his emotions show that easily, but he couldn't help it. His breath caught, recognizing the ring he was now holding in his hands: it had a rectangular shape, was made of silver, and carried the blue/green stone he had admired the other night. It was the ring which he'd had on when Hephaistion had found him searching that chest. "I can't accept this," he whispered, offering it back to Hephaistion. "You said Alexander had given it to you."

Now that Francisco had mentioned his name, Alexander looked up from the book he had been studying. He was surprised to find that Hephaistion had given Francisco that ring, but wasn't going to comment on it. That ring was Hephaistion's to do with as he pleased. 

"No," Hephaistion answered as he rose from his seat to sit down next to Francisco. "I want you to have it." He took hold of the ring and slid it onto Francisco's finger. "For it will remind you that you have friends here – always. When you get lonely or are in need of some company, you can always come here."

Francisco felt all choked up at hearing Hephaistion's words. "Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do." Hephaistion gently pulled Francisco in for a hug. "You can always sleep on the couch if you want to."

Francisco felt embarrassed because tears were dripping down his face. "Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me." 

Hephaistion released Francisco from his embrace and returned to Alexander's side.

Francisco felt even more self-conscious now because he didn't have any gifts to give away. "I don't have any…"

"But I have something for you," Jared declared and took the plunge into the deep. "It's not particularly good because I didn't have the time to perfect it, but I wrote it just for you." He got up from the couch, retrieved his guitar, and settled down again. He hadn't thought he would feel as nervous as this, but he started to play at any rate. He hadn't had the time to think of the lyrics to accompany the melody, but he hoped Francisco would like his gift anyway because it came from the heart.

Francisco understood – understood perfectly – and took Jared's gift right into his heart. 

Once the song had come to an end, Jared gave Francisco an apologetic smile. "It will grow into something more, but it needs work and time. Maybe I'll have it finished by New Year's Day for you."

New Year's… They would have left Greece by then and would be back to their separate lives and that was a thought which filled Francisco with sorrow and longing.

Alexander cleared his throat. Maybe this could be his gift to Francisco and Jared. "I don't know if your working schedule allows for it, but you can stay as long as you want. You might have to sleep on the couch then, because Hephaistion's father might be joining us to celebrate New Year's, but you're welcome to stay."

Hephaistion enthusiastically nodded his head. "Alexander, that's an excellent idea. I'm glad you thought of it!" He knew his father through and through and hoped he would also extend his friendship to Francisco in particular, who might welcome a father-figure in his life. 

"That means only one person didn't get his present yet," Bagoas remarked. "Alexander…" 

"Oh, allow me!" Hephaistion rose from his chair before Bagoas could, selected his gift and dropped it onto Alexander's lap, atop of the book. 

"For me?" Alexander's expression became greedy as he studied the wrapped package. 

"Open it! I know you want to." Hephaistion sat back down again and his gaze shifted from Alexander to Francisco, who apparently couldn't decide where he should direct his gaze, either to the ring on his finger or Jared sitting next to him. 

Alexander ripped away the paper and bared the gift to him. The next moment, he snickered in mirth. "I should have known you would come up with something like this!" It was two packages, not one, though they both had the same content. "Male edible undies, sensuous with taste." He looked closer and found they were different after all. "One with passion fruit flavor and the other comes with strawberry chocolate taste… Yummy… Now I only need to decide which lover suites what flavor best, but I'll find out shortly." He gave first Hephaistion and then Bagoas a truly wicked look. "I'll eat one of you tonight."

"I knew you’d love them." Hephaistion felt happy, seeing everyone so content. Francisco had finally stopped admiring his new ring and had leaned back against Jared's chest, looking comfortable at last.

Leaning into Bagoas, Hephaistion whispered, "Are you satisfied? Is this what you wanted? The Christmas feeling you hoped for?"

"Yes, it is. I got my gift as well, Hephaistion… I got the best Christmas ever."

~~~

"Francisco?" Jared lifted the covers and gave Francisco a hopeful look. "My promise to behave still stands." He hoped that the hot chocolate with rum and a sip of Alexander's eggnog later had helped soothe Francisco's nerves and that the younger man felt comfortable enough to go to sleep in his arms. 

Once more wearing his silken pajamas, Francisco shuffled toward the bed – he still felt nervous! But he also felt secure enough to accept Jared's invitation tonight. He slipped between the covers and lay down facing Jared, who was once more wearing his T-shirt. 

Jared moved closer and wrapped his arms around Francisco, who trembled, but *did* push closer until the younger man had attained a comfortable sleeping position. "Did you really like my song?"

"I did. I can't wait for you to find the right lyrics to go with it." Francisco rested his head against Jared's chest and closed his eyes. The rum and brandy he'd had did their job and made him feel more comfortable than he would have without them. 

Sounds of mirth and pleasure coming from Alexander's bedroom reached their ears. Hearing them made Francisco and Jared grin. 

"Do you think they're trying out new positions?" Jared asked, nuzzling Francisco's throat and inhaling his exotic scent. 

"No, I think Alexander is trying to eat their underwear." Francisco giggled, but then his eyes widened as he realized that Jared was inhaling his scent. Raising his gaze and meeting Jared's, he found the older man smiling at him. "I'm glad you made me tag along."

"So am I." Jared was tempted to kiss Francisco, but thought it was still too early and that he would be acting too fast, so instead, he settled for kissing first one and then the other eyelid, which closed under his kisses. "Are you tired, Francisco?"

"I am…" Francisco sighed and pressed closer. He hadn't gotten that much sleep the last few nights, but now that he was safe and comfortable in Jared's arms, it didn't take much of an effort to doze off. 

Jared held him close, marveling about the things that had happened during the last twenty-four hours. He hadn't thought of Francisco as a potential lover before, but now, he did.

TBC

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree  
Part 6

Francisco woke up first the next morning and, when he opened his eyes, he looked at Jared, whose features were relaxed in deep sleep. The pace in which things had happened the last few days had left him a little breathless and he hoped that Jared understood that he wasn't going to rush into anything. Yes, he was in love with Jared, but that didn't mean he wanted to have sex with him just like that. He believed that there should a base first – friendship, trust, affection, those things were just as important as sex and they should all be in place before they took the next step. And something told him that Jared might just feel the same way. 

"You're looking at me."

Francisco grinned and nodded his head once. By doing that, his brow rubbed gently against Jared's. "You look cute when you're asleep."

"Cute?" One of Jared's eyes opened while the other remained close. "I look *cute*? Not gorgeous? Or divine?"

Francisco chuckled and looked into Jared's eyes now that the other eye had opened as well and saw the naughty expression in them. He sobered a bit, feeling Jared's fingers rub his lower back. "Thank you for being there for me."

Jared nodded his head once. "That's what friends are for."

Francisco grew nervous as the focus of those blue eyes remained on him. "Jared, I'm not ready for… for whatever you have in mind."

"What I had in mind was getting out of bed and organizing some breakfast." He sure hoped he hadn't given Francisco the wrong impression by rubbing his back. He had only done it to comfort his friend. "Give me the benefit of the doubt, Francisco. I'm not going to devour you whole."

Francisco relaxed. "This is new and I don't really know what to think of it."

"You can think of it as one friend comforting another who's hurting and needs support." Jared ran his fingertips up Francisco's jaw line. "You're exquisite, Francisco."

Francisco blushed. "Don't say things like that." He broke eye contact and stared at the wall instead.

"But you are! You have a great character: you're loving, trusting, and dependable. You're also very handsome, not to mention very elegant and talented as a dancer." Jared could tell that Francisco wasn't used to receiving compliments because his friend didn't know how to accept his words. It was time to back off. "Are you hungry? We could sneak into the kitchen and prepare something to eat."

Francisco nodded. "Sneaking into the kitchen sounds just fine." Jared pushed back the covers and left their bed first. Francisco lingered for another moment, savoring the warmth of the nest they had built during the night. His gaze came to rest on the ring which he now wore around his middle finger. Hephaistion's Christmas gift to him. He still felt a bit guilty for accepting it.

"Are you gonna join me?" Jared, who had finally managed to retrieve his morning robe, shrugged into it and waited for Francisco to join him. He doubted any of their hosts would be up already as the noises coming from their room had lasted long into the night.

Francisco left their bed and joined Jared. Together, they made their way into the kitchen, which was still empty just as Jared had predicted. 

"I'll start some coffee," Francisco said. "Why don't you set the table? It would be a nice idea to make breakfast for them."

Jared agreed and set the table. He was going to start on the eggs and toast in a moment, but before he did that, he wrapped his arms around Francisco's waist and whispered, "What are you thinking of?" The distant expression in those eyes had returned.

"I was thinking about this ring." Francisco raised his hand and showed the ring to Jared. He turned his head and looked at the chest beneath the window. "Come with me." 

Jared went along, wondering what Francisco was up to. 

Francisco knelt next to the chest and opened it. The first thing he encountered was the cloak made of furs and he put that aside. "Look at this helmet!" He lifted it from the chest and presented it to Jared. "And there is more!" He didn't bother to open the jewelry box since he already knew about its content, but carefully lifted the sword from the chest. "It looks old."

Jared sat down next to Francisco cross-legged and pondering what to do. Now that Francisco had found the chest, the questions would start.

"And look at this!" He hadn't seen this item before. "Is it Hephaistion? But he looks somehow different on this painting." Francisco had been so focused on the items in the chest that he hadn't noticed Hephaistion stepping into the living room. 

But Jared had. His eyes sought out Hephaistion's and asked the other man a silent question. 

Hephaistion drew in a deep breath and covered the distance between them.

Francisco didn't notice Hephaistion until the other man pulled up a chair and straddled it. "Oh, I…" Why had he opened the chest again? He should have let it rest! He was snooping about in other people's private affairs!

"It *is* old," Hephaistion said eventually. "It was made over two thousand years ago. Alexander's father gave the sword to him when he turned fifteen."

Francisco blinked. "What?"

Jared, realizing Hephaistion was preparing to tell Francisco the truth, wondered if he should stick around or leave the two men to their talk. Hephaistion however raised his hand in an authoritative way and he remained seated where he was. Apparently Hephaistion wanted him to help. 

Hephaistion reached behind him and uncovered a Greek newspaper which he had kept close. "Did you hear that they’d found the tomb of Alexander the Great?" It had been front page news and the paper had printed a colored picture of the main feature of the exhibit, namely Alexander's sarcophagus with the skeleton seated next to it. 

"Yes, I’d heard about this on the news." Francisco frowned. What was Hephaistion trying to tell him?

"Jared, how did the museum know where to find the tomb?" Hephaistion asked.

"You told me where to find it and I relayed that information to Laeta. You remember him, don’t you, Francisco? The professor who helped us form our views on Alexander?"

"You?" Francisco's frown deepened. "You told Laeta…?" And then the rest of what Jared had said sank in. "Hephaistion told you?"

Jared gathered Francisco's hand in his and waited for the younger man to look at him instead of Hephaistion. "Hephaistion is his real name, Francisco. And Alexander is really Alexander… And Bagoas is Bagoas… The three of them have lived before – over two thousand years ago. They died, like all human beings do, but their souls returned to this earth."

Francisco forced his gaze away from Jared and looked at Hephaistion instead. There was no denying that something unique, something old – ancient almost – colored those eyes so blue. "Are you talking about reincarnation?" He had heard about it, but had never believed in it. 

"Yes, he is." Hephaistion judged the time right to tell the rest – Jared had prepared the way for him. "Over two thousand years ago, I was Hephaistion, Alexander's best friend and lover. You probably know Bagoas' life history. You must have studied it when you realized you were about to play him. Our three souls found each other again in this life and what you're looking at now, here, inside this chest, is what remains of our first life. Alexander's helmet with his white plume, my portrait which he always carried with him...there are love letters, there is his sword… Strands of our hair… The jewelry he gifted me with… Those are just tiny reminders of the life we once led."

Francisco had a hard time believing anything Jared and Hephaistion were telling him. "I like you," he said, addressing Hephaistion. "And I like Alexander and Bagoas, but I can't believe anything you just told me." It was too far-fetched.

"When we had to convince Jared that we were for real, we did it by handing him a letter which Alexander had written me during our first life. He’d had it examined and it proved genuine. It made him believe us." Hephaistion's fingers caressed the white feathers of the helmet's plume and he realized that they had no evidence in order to prove their identities to Francisco. 

"You believe them?" Francisco stared at Jared. 

"I know they're for real, Francisco. It might be hard to grasp, but they're who they say they're. This is Hephaistion and Bagoas… He *is* Bagoas… You played his role in the movie, but Bagoas really lived that life. Think about it! It's fucking amazing that we get this chance to meet them!"

"I can't believe that you believe them…" Francisco knew Jared was a no-nonsense kind of guy, who wouldn't believe any of this if there wasn't some sort of evidence -- a reason for him to believe them. 

"If you don't believe me it's not a problem," Hephaistion stated, knowing better than to pressure Francisco into believing them. "But you uncovered these items and started to feel curious. I merely told you. You can believe what I told you or not. That's your decision." Hephaistion placed the helmet, sword, portrait, and cloak back into the chest and closed the lid. He smiled, seeing that Francisco was still wearing the ring. "That, my friend, was the ring Alexander gave me after the first time we made love in Babylon...after Alexander had taken possession of the city."

Francisco was still frowning. The situation was absurd! Hephaistion seemed so honest, so sincere, and the first thing Francisco had wanted to say was, 'Then I should return the ring to you.' But then he realized that he believed Hephaistion when he said that. "I don't know what to think of this."

"Take your time." Alexander, who had overheard some of their conversation, walked up to them and squatted down next to Francisco. "I still remember how I felt when the memories of a past life began to return to me. I thought I was losing my mind when I recalled battle scenes I had never been in. I don't know if I would have emerged sane from the experience if it hadn't been for Hephaistion."

"You really believe that you were Alexander the Great in another life time?" Francisco stared at Alexander in obvious amazement.

"I know who I was. And I know Hephaistion – I know his soul. We loved each other two thousand years ago and, somehow, he found his way back to me. The same goes for Bagoas." Alexander had heard Bagoas' footfalls in the corridor and now looked his lover in the eye. "Bagoas, come over here?"

Bagoas complied and came to a halt behind Hephaistion. He rested his hands on the broad back and smiled at Francisco. "I know this is hard to believe. I felt the same way when I began to remember who I once was. There was so much pain… I didn't want to remember what had happened to me in that life, but in the end, I had no choice. I was lucky enough to have Hephaistion and Alexander to help me through the painful process."

Francisco's head reeled. He no longer knew what to make of this. The problem was that he wanted to believe them. Well, technically speaking, he already believed them, but the implications of what they were telling him were overwhelming. If they were speaking the truth it meant that reincarnation existed and that they had lived before. That death was nothing but a doorway – a new beginning. 

"I'll finish what you started," Hephaistion announced. "Breakfast should be ready in a few minutes." He rose from his chair and walked into the kitchen. 

Alexander smiled at Francisco, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "I know that it's hard to imagine that I once was Alexander the Great, especially considering the way I act around you, but… The truth is that I'm happier in this life time than I was conquering the world. I was so focused on becoming Emperor of the known world that I didn't make the most of my love for Hephaistion. He set his needs aside for me and made my dream his. In this life, I finally get the chance to do things the right way." Alexander gave Francisco another smile and then joined Hephaistion in the kitchen. 

Bagoas, who was still standing next to Francisco, lowered himself onto his heels. Now that they were eye-level, he said, "If you decide to believe us, and find yourself with questions, you can always come to me and talk to me about them." Bagoas smiled secretly, rose from the floor, and left Jared to deal with a very shocked-looking Francisco.

"Jared?"

Jared moved closer to Francisco and wrapped an arm around his friend. "Yes?"

"Do you really believe them?"

"I do. They convinced me." Jared raised a hand and rested it at the back of Francisco's neck. He massaged the tense muscles there and hummed softly, trying to make Francisco feel more at ease. 

Francisco suddenly snorted loudly. 

"What is it?" Jared looked into Francisco's dark eyes.

"I believe them. I don't know why, but I believe them!" Looking at the ring around his finger, he wondered about Alexander and Hephaistion – the things they could tell him! The things their alter egos had seen! And then the next revelation hit him – Bagoas. Bagoas had told him in London that he liked his performance in the movie and that he approved of the way he had portrayed the eunuch and now… Now he realized that Bagoas was the real thing!

Alexander, who had popped into the living room to tell them to join them for breakfast, saw the expression in Francisco's eyes and smiled. "I think he finally understands."

Francisco blinked his eyes – he felt like he’d been stuck in a trance.

~~~

That trance-like feeling remained with Francisco for the rest of the day. Jared was always close, supporting him and reminding him that it was okay to believe in reincarnation. Alexander and Hephaistion gave him all the time he needed to come to terms with this revelation and Bagoas… Bagoas danced for them – that sensual dance that had made him hard back in London. 

That evening, after eating their turkey and sipping black coffee instead of eggnog, Francisco finally felt he had recovered enough to ask them questions. Seated around the Christmas tree with several gifts still left to unwrap, Francisco's gaze remained trained on Bagoas as he danced. Jared was trying to play a melody Bagoas could dance to, but the long-haired dancer was moving to music only he could hear. 

Bagoas' dance came to an end and, since he had been sweating, he headed toward the bathroom to freshen up. 

"Please excuse me." Francisco, realizing his chance to talk to Bagoas in private, followed him.

"That is to be expected," Hephaistion commented as he looked at Alexander. "He must have questions where Bagoas is concerned."

Jared nodded. "When I realized that you were really Hephaistion I also wanted to discuss the way I portrayed him in the movie with you. Something similar might be happening with Francisco."

Alexander decided not to worry about Bagoas and Francisco, since that matter was out of his control. Instead, he asked, "And what are your feelings where Francisco is concerned?" He had been wondering about this ever since Hephaistion had told him about Francisco's crush. 

Jared shrugged his shoulders and placed his guitar against the wall. "I don't know. I care for him, but I don't know if it's love. I decided to be his friend for now – but I want to be the best friend he can wish for. If we're meant to be together, it'll happen. I'm not rushing into this. I don't think it would be good for Francisco to rush into a relationship either."

Hephaistion nodded his head and showed his approval in that way. "Yes, you should be his friend first." Friendship was at the base of any good-working relationship.

~~~

"Bagoas? I don't mean to pry, but…"

Bagoas, who had been washing his face, looked at Francisco in the mirror. "You have found your questions." He had expected for it to happen, but not this quickly. He dried his face and turned around. The bathroom seemed the wrong place to discuss this and he took Francisco's hand so he could pull him into the bedroom. "Sit down," he ordered, pointing at the bed.

Francisco had never been in there before and smiled as he saw the large number of crumbled scented candles that stood near the bed. The boxes which had contained the edible underwear were empty and the gay karma sutra was showing a very athletic position. He could almost taste the love that hung in the room. "I have some questions, yes, but I would prefer for you to tell me," he said as he sat down, folding one leg beneath him. 

"Tell you about what?"

"About your life… Everything you went through in that first life." Francisco felt nervous voicing this request, but Bagoas *had* offered to tell him.

Bagoas drew in a deep breath, but then nodded his head. "I'll tell you." By now, he had healed enough to do so without becoming emotional or needing Hephaistion to pull him through. He could do this.

~~~

Francisco's bottom lip trembled as Bagoas finally finished his tale. "You suffered a lot." When he had read the information Oliver Stone had provided him with for his role in the film, he hadn't realized just how complicated Bagoas' life had been. He had known that Bagoas had been castrated and that he had been Darius' favorite, but that had just been information. Now he was looking at the real person who had lived through all that. "I'm sorry you were hurt so badly." The fact that Bagoas had also told him about his death and being locked up in the tomb had made his history only more believable. "That skeleton is you."

"Was me. I'm alive again." Bagoas saw something in Francisco's eyes which he didn't like and he scooted closer. He gathered the elegant hands in his and asked, "What are you apologizing for?"

 

Francisco closed his eyes, unable to look at Bagoas at that very moment. "I can't believe I felt sorry for myself when you…"

"Stop it!" Bagoas squeezed the long fingers and that action caused Francisco to open his eyes, just as Bagoas had hoped it would. "Don't compare my life to yours! You can't do that. Our lives are much too different for that!"

"But…" Francisco wasn't sure what to make of Bagoas' passionate outburst.

"You are your own person. Don't compare your suffering to mine. We all suffer, but in different ways. Don't do that." 

Francisco lowered his gaze and looked at their joined hands. "I'm not used to people accepting me for who I am… Or telling me that I am my own person…" His father had always tried to change him – to make him 'better' than he was, because no matter what he did, it was never good enough for his father. 

"Hephaistion taught me a very valuable lesson and I hope you will let me teach it to you in turn. Francisco? Please look at me?" Bagoas waited until the dark eyes met his and then continued, "Hephaistion tried to tell me this during my first life, but back then, I wasn't ready to hear him – really hear him. Hephaistion taught me that when we extend our friendship, it should be unconditional and that when we love, it should be unconditional too. I'm not as wise as Hephaistion, but I try to do as he does… Francisco, you have my friendship and it's unconditional. You don't have to act a certain way around me. You don't need to hide the real you… I accept who you are… if you let me."

Francisco sniffed. "Thank you," he murmured, still trying to find the right words to form a reply. "I never had a real friend before, I think." Even where Jared was concerned, they were still testing the waters and trying to form some sort of relationship.

"Come here…" Bagoas opened his arms and pulled Francisco in to them. "You made me proud, you know. I like the way you portrayed me in that film. You did well." 

Francisco didn't want to cry, but the tears still escaped his eyes. It happened so seldom that someone he cared about told him that he was proud of something he had done. 

Realizing that, Bagoas tightened his hold on Francisco. "And we'll dance together, I promise you that. When the weather gets better, you'll return here and we'll go outside and dance while the sun shines onto our faces. I'll show you some of the seductive dances I learned in my first life."

That last bit made Francisco chuckle and he raised his face, which was still wet with tears. But he was smiling now and he did feel a lot better. 

"We should join the rest. They're probably waiting for us so they can open the rest of the presents." Bagoas slowly released Francisco, but never broke eye contact. 

"This has been an amazing Christmas," Francisco declared as he followed Bagoas into the corridor. Contrary to his shy nature, he reached for Bagoas' hand and curled his fingers around it. "The best Christmas ever."

Bagoas had reached the doorway and looked at the scene unfolding in front of him while pulling Francisco a little bit closer to him. Jared was sitting close to the Christmas tree, playing his guitar and making up dirty lyrics to the Christmas melodies he was playing. Alexander was playing with strands of Hephaistion's hair and pressing kisses onto the nape of his lover's neck. The whole scene breathed peace and love. "Yes,” he said as he hugged Francisco close. "This is the best Christmas ever!"

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Spanish Eyes

Jared switched off his cell phone and cringed, realizing his stay in Greece had just been cut short. He had hoped against all odds that no one would need him for these few days, but his manager had received a new script for a movie which looked promising and wanted him to have a look at it right away. That meant flying back to the States and leaving Francisco in the care of his friends. This was not the way Jared had envisioned his break would end!

Francisco, wedged in-between Alexander and Bagoas on the couch, saw the uneasy look in Jared's eyes and knew their time here had come to an end. Hadn't he been walking with his head in the clouds anyway, thinking Jared would stay? The truth was that Jared had a very busy schedule and never remained at one place for a long time. He was either touring with his band or off shooting a movie. 

Francisco realized the sad truth in that very moment. Yes, Jared and he could be friends, *were* friends, and he wanted that, but to expect more had been folly. Francisco knew himself through and through and realized that a long-distance relationship would never work for him. He needed his lover close – at his side. 

"I'm sorry, guys, but it looks like I have to fly out tomorrow morning. My agent booked me onto the four o'clock flight…four o'clock this evening." Which meant that they had to leave in three, maybe even two hours. That left little time to say goodbye to Francisco. Damn, he wasn't pleased with the way his stay there was ending! 

Jared vacated his chair at the kitchen table and joined the other men in the living room. He tried to ignore the displeased looks Alexander was giving him, but this was out of his control. Making movies and music were his life! He lowered himself onto his heels in front of Francisco and gathered the long fingers in his hands. "I'm sorry. I don't want to leave like this, but…" This was his life. 

Francisco's heart broke and shattered into tiny pieces as he finally let in the truth where Jared was concerned. "I understand," he answered and it was the truth: he *did* understand. There was no place for him in Jared's life, no matter what his friend might say. And, if he was honest with himself, Francisco had to admit that he was relieved that they hadn't slept with each other. Recovering from a one-night-stand would have been even harder. Now he could simply add this heartache to the ones he had already suffered in the past. "Get packing, Jared. You don't have a lot of time."

"I'm really sorry." Jared felt guilty for leaving his friend when Francisco needed him. Only yesterday, he had promised himself to be there for Francisco and to be the best friend the dancer could wish for. What did taking off like this say about him? But he didn't have a choice. 

Francisco freed his fingers and patted Jared's face like one would pat a pet. "Go pack," he repeated. "You can't be late."

Alexander's eyes had narrowed while listening to their conversation and he felt rather cross with Jared for taking off like this. But when he looked into Bagoas' eyes, he read something in them that surprised him. He read relief in them. Bagoas seemed relieved that Jared was leaving. Why?

~~~

Jared pushed his belongings into his suitcase and closed it. Looking about the room and the bed he had shared with Francisco, he also felt relieved that he hadn't pushed the issue with Francisco. Leaving like this *after* having slept with the dancer would have left an even more bitter taste in his mouth. 

"The truth is that we never had a chance." Francisco closed the door behind him and advanced on the bed. "You have your life, Jared and I have mine." Although he was still hurting, he also realized that this was for the best – for him and for Jared. "We forgot that during these last few days." He made his way over to the bed where Jared was sitting and seated himself next to his friend. Francisco placed a hand on Jared's knee and squeezed it. "I have come a long way thanks to you. When you arrived at my place in London, I was ready to crawl into bed and not emerge again for a long time. I am glad you brought me here. I made friends here – including you."

Jared raised a hand and his soulful blue eyes met Francisco's dark ones. "I didn't want for it to end this way."

"I believe you." Francisco bore the caress Jared bestowed onto his face. He knew it was meant well and given in affection, but the realization that they had created an illusion still hurt. "I hope the script will be interesting and the movie a success."

Jared swallowed hard and was suddenly unable to look into Francisco's eyes any longer. He still felt guilty for leaving like this. "We will keep in touch. I will call you or email you. We will find a way."

But Francisco shook his head. His gaze was gentle and understanding when he captured Jared's hand in his and rubbed the other man's digits between his. "We were fools to think this might work. You have your life and I have mine. Before long, you will be back to dating starlets, traveling the world, playing your music, and attending another movie premiere. I doubt very much that you have time and space in your busy life for a lover – a real partner, Jared." And a part of him regretted that. 

"I don't want my life to be that." But he knew the lie for what it was the moment he said the words. Music and acting were his life. Francisco had managed to see the real man behind the mask he wore in public. "Will you be all right? I *do* worry about you." He hoped Francisco knew that.

"I know you care. If you didn't, you wouldn't have dragged me down here. Then, I would still be feeling sorry for myself in my bed in London." A small smile appeared on Francisco’s face as his gaze came to rest on the ring around his finger. "I will be all right, Jared. I will stay here for a while. I like being around Alexander, Hephaistion, and Bagoas. They feel like family."

"I'm really sorry about this." It seemed he couldn't stop apologizing to Francisco. 

"I understand, Jared. I understand you better than you think." Francisco rose from the bed and Jared followed suit. He wrapped his long arms around Jared's slightly more muscular form and hugged him. "I will survive. You don't have to worry about that."

But Jared's heart twitched in his chest for the way he was deserting his friend. But this was the story of his life. He never got to stay long, never got to make a relationship really work and, although he understood all that, he still continued on in the same way without making the necessary changes. 

"Alexander and Hephaistion will drive you to the airport," Francisco stated as he released Jared from his embrace. "I won't come along. I hope you understand why I am staying here."

Jared did. Francisco didn't want to draw out their parting. "I really like you," he responded and once more caressed Francisco's face. "I wish it didn't have to end like this." The fact that he had the power to say no to his agent was something he chose to ignore. Like everyone, he had his own demons to live with and ambition was one of them. 

Francisco took a step away from Jared and managed to stay in control of his feelings, something that surprised him. "This is goodbye, Jared. Maybe a temporary goodbye, but still goodbye." There was always the chance that they would run into each other some place. 

Jared lowered his gaze and let his head droop. "I hope you will continue to heal. They are the best friends you can hope for." Recalling the look he had seen in Alexander's eyes earlier, he knew his friends weren't happy about the way he was leaving.

~~~

"I can't believe Jared is doing this!" Moping, Alexander crossed his arms in front of his chest and pushed against the coffee table with the feet he had rested against the rim. 

Hephaistion sat down on the edge of the coffee table and succeeded in capturing his lover's gaze. "I didn’t like it whenever you left to fight a war either, Alexander."

Alexander blinked and glared at his lover. "That was different! I was on a mission to conquer the known world."

"You were driven, Alexander. You were ambitious." And that was all Hephaistion was going to say about it. Alexander had hopefully matured enough to understand what he was really trying to say. 

Alexander immediately lowered his gaze again, bit down on his bottom lip, and stared at the tips of his shoes. "So you are saying Jared is a lot like I was back then?"

Hephaistion smiled warmly. "He is ambitious. He wants to achieve things in his life and love and friendship have to take a back seat. He doesn't know what he is throwing away in Francisco, and I doubt he will realize that in this life. Maybe in his next. We all have to grow spiritually, Alexander, but most people need multiple lives to understand their flaws and to right their wrongdoings."

Alexander's eyes still carried a storm inside them and Hephaistion hoped his lover wouldn't release those emotions onto an unsuspecting Jared. "Don't be so angry. There is nothing you can do."

"It's not just Jared I'm angry with." Alexander peeked at Hephaistion's eyes. "I'm still angry with myself for the way I let my ambition rule me back then. I could have had you to myself and instead I chased after this insane dream which got you killed."

"Oh, Alexander!" Hephaistion exchanged his place on the coffee table for one on the couch and wrapped an arm around Alexander. "I thought we had dealt with that."

Alexander rested his head against Hephaistion's shoulder. "What will become of Francisco?" 

"I talked to Francisco. He will stay with us for a few more days." Hephaistion drew in a deep breath as he had to address a different matter. "I also talked to my father on the phone. He will arrive the day after tomorrow."

"Your father is really joining us?" Now that his curiosity had been piqued, Alexander lifted his head and studied Hephaistion's eyes. 

"Yes, and I was thinking… It would be bothersome to drop Jared off, drive back here, and then drive to the airport again tomorrow. We would be better off checking into a hotel." It would also give them some privacy. Hephaistion had been hoping for an opportunity like this to come along. 

"The Titania Hotel again?" 

"Maybe, maybe not." Hephaistion pressed a kiss onto Alexander's hair.

"But that leaves Bagoas alone with Francisco." Alexander frowned. "Is that a good thing?"

"I believe it is." Hephaistion leaned in closer and whispered, "I have the feeling those two bonded where Francisco and Jared didn’t."

Alexander felt somewhat reassured and nodded his head. "We will do things your way then."

"Good." Hephaistion smiled at his lover and realized Alexander's eyes looked less potent with rage. "I will book us a room and you can see if you can kick start the car." It had been freezing and he hoped the car would cooperate.

"First, I'm going to find my parka." Although the snow was gone, it was still cold and Alexander couldn't wait for spring to finally arrive. "I don't want to contract another cold." 

Hephaistion watched Alexander leave and once he was alone, a thoughtful expression appeared on his face. He couldn't help but wonder what the next few days would bring.

~~~

"I hope you will have a safe flight." Francisco gave Jared a parting hug, but then drew back. It was a strange thing. They had gathered in the hallway to say their goodbyes to Jared and throughout that time, Bagoas had been at his side. The other man had even rested a hand at the small of his back and Francisco wondered just what that meant. Jared must have seen the gesture.

Yes, Jared had seen it, but since he was leaving, he realized he no longer had the right to begrudge Bagoas Francisco's closeness. If Bagoas was determined to see Francisco through this, he should be grateful instead. "I will call you."

Francisco nodded, although a little voice inside him told him not to expect any calls from Jared. The actor would lose himself in his new project and forget about him. That thought made his heart ache, but at the same time the more rational part of him insisted this was for the better. "Of course you will," he replied, keeping the illusion intact. He raised his hand in goodbye and watched Alexander, Hephaistion, and Jared walk out of the doorway. Since he didn't want to prolong his misery, Francisco turned around and headed back for the living room.

Bagoas followed.

~~~

"You're angry with me." Jared cringed at the expression in Alexander's stormy eyes. 

Alexander, who had been banned from driving by Hephaistion, sat in the passenger's seat and occasionally looked at Jared in the mirror. His animosity toward Jared wasn't hard to explain. He recognized himself in the actor. He had once been blinded by ambition too. "Just ignore me. It isn't anything personal."

Jared shook his head. "I believe it is."

"Just leave it, Jared. Trust me, it's for the best." Alexander crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared ahead at the road. At the same time, he felt Hephaistion's inquiring gaze upon him. All this was Hephaistion's fault for opening his eyes. He wasn't that angry with Jared; he was mostly cross with himself for having taken so long to realize that his blinded ambition had gotten Hephaistion killed. 

His lover would probably never say something like that aloud, but Alexander knew better. If he hadn't been so determined to conquer India, Hephaistion might not have died from the typhus he had contracted there. /I will make amends – am already making amends by loving Hephaistion and doing what is best for him./ But a small part of him couldn't stop wondering if Hephaistion blamed him for causing his premature demise.

~~~

Francisco collapsed onto the couch and buried his face in his hands. His shoulders slumped forward and he bowed his head, shaking it. 

Affected by this obvious display of hurt and need, Bagoas seated himself next to Francisco and folded an arm around the other man's shoulders. He pulled Francisco close and when there was no resistance, he stated, "What I am going to say might sound harsh, but I do believe it is for the best that Jared left."

"I know it is." Francisco lowered his hands and Bagoas saw the fat teardrops that had escaped his eyes. "But that doesn't make it less painful."

Bagoas guided Francisco's head to his shoulder, tightened his hold on the other man, and rested his chin atop of the short, dark hair. "I fell for Jared's looks too, you know. You aren't the only one he sucked in."

Francisco's eyes widened and momentarily dried. Surprised, he turned his head so he could look at Bagoas. "What?"

"I fell for his looks and his charms. I almost begged him to love me back, to make me his for just one night, but Jared was the smarter one and denied me. Looking back at it now, I am really relieved that we never had sex." Bagoas ran his fingertips along Francisco's jaw and was relieved to see the eyes were drying. "I doubt Jared is someone who will ever settle down. He wants to live his life to the fullest." And in order to do so, certain sacrifices had to be made.

"Bagoas?" Francisco pulled slightly away so he could study the brown eyes better. "We have both been fools, don't you think?"

Bagoas laughed mirthlessly. "When Jared brought us under his spell we stopped considering what was best for us." Smiling ruefully, he added, "But, I must admit that Jared made me see how fortunate I am to be loved by Alexander and Hephaistion. He made me realize how precious their love is."

"At least you have someone who loves you." Francisco's expression darkened and he broke eye contact. Staring at the floor, he shrugged his shoulders once. "I have no one to love or who loves me back." He felt so alone… so terribly lonely. 

"Hey, you have us! You have Alexander, Hephaistion, and you have me." His smile brightened a little. "And I like you a lot. We share an interest in dancing and in getting away from under the mistletoe whenever Alexander is close." As intended, his last comment made Francisco chuckle softly. Raising a hand, Bagoas wiped away the last remnants of the tears Francisco had shed. "Do you realize that we have the house to ourselves? We can do whatever we want!"

"And what do you want to do?" Francisco found it hard to remain sad with Bagoas giving him such a radiant smile.

"First off, we are going to make some hot chocolate, but without Alexander's brandy, and then we will create two SIM characters: one Bagoas and one Francisco character and see if they will fall in love and have babies."

Francisco blinked. "Babies? Did you say babies?"

"Yes, babies…" Bagoas pulled Francisco into the kitchen with him and began to explain about the SIMS and the characters he would create for them.

~~~

"Please keep a close eye on Francisco. I know I promised to do that, but…" Jared shuffled his feet, feeling awkward now that he was saying goodbye to Hephaistion and Alexander. The latter still looked upset with him. "But if it's a good script…" Then he would be a fool not to read it and accept the role.

Hephaistion raised a hand and rested it on Jared's shoulder. When he had suggested to Alexander that it would be best if he did the talking, his lover had quickly agreed, knowing there was still a chance that his temper might get the better of him. It was best if Hephaistion handled it. "Jared, we don't blame you for anything." Hephaistion reckoned Jared already felt guilty for deserting Francisco. But this was how life went. It was always unpredictable and sometimes downright painful. "You make your choices and I make mine. The only person you are responsible for is you." And one day, Jared would realize what he had sacrificed in his search for fame. But this wasn't the time for it. "You are always welcome to stay with us," Hephaistion added and squeezed Jared's shoulder.

Jared sighed. His guilt was killing him, but at the same time ambition drove him forward. "We will be in touch."

"Sure." Hephaistion removed his hand and took a step away from Jared. "You should go now. They started boarding."

"Alexander, I…" Jared cringed when he finally met Alexander's accusing eyes. 

Alexander drew in a deep breath and calmed himself. "We will take care of Francisco," was all he said. Jared wouldn't get any forgiving words from him like he had gotten from Hephaistion. Alexander hadn't forgiven himself yet, so how could he possibly be lenient toward Jared?

"That's all I can ask for." Jared turned and began to walk away from them. Just before he disappeared from view, he looked at them from over his shoulder and raised his hand in goodbye.

"Francisco would have been good to him," Alexander said and barely managed to stop himself from gnashing his teeth. 

Hephaistion however frowned and looked Alexander in the eye. "But is Jared what Francisco needs? Would Jared have been good for Francisco?"

This time, Alexander frowned. "But I thought you wanted to see them together?"

"I changed my mind, Alexander. Jared isn't ready to commit to a relationship and such commitment is the very thing Francisco needs right now." Hephaistion took Alexander's hand in his and steered his lover toward the exit. "Jared would have left Francisco shattered and broken in the end. Now, Francisco will still have to go through the heartache, but the pain won't be that bad." His eyes twinkled when he added, "And he has Bagoas to help him through it." 

"Bagoas? What has Bagoas to do with this?" Alexander halted in his tracks and forced Hephaistion to come to a stop as well. "Hephaistion?"

"It might be my imagination playing tricks on me, Alexander, but I believe Bagoas might be developing feelings for Francisco. Didn't you notice the way he kept his hand against the small of Francisco's back when Jared left? It is little gestures like that which tell me that Bagoas might really like Francisco."

"But I thought that Bagoas belongs with us? At least, that is what you always said!" Alexander had resumed walking and dragged Hephaistion into a coffee shop. By the gods, he needed some strong, black coffee to help him clear his mind. Why did Hephaistion always have to confuse him?

A waiter came to get their order and Alexander asked for the strongest coffee they had while Hephaistion ordered a cup of tea. Alexander had dragged him into the back and they had seated themselves at a table which melted perfectly with the shadows so they had their privacy. Since no one could listen in, Alexander decided to get his answers right then and there. "Hephaistion, are you going to encourage Bagoas to take Francisco as his lover?"

Hephaistion chuckled, but then quickly sobered. "Alexander, think about it. In neither of his lives did Bagoas have a lover just to himself. Yes, we love him unconditionally and he loves us back in the same way. But wouldn't it be nice for him to have a lover solely devoted to him?"

Alexander understood what Hephaistion was trying to tell him, but still felt apprehensive about accepting this truth. "I thought it would always be the three of us."

"It will always be the three of us, Alexander, because what binds us is larger than life. Not even death could keep us apart, but Bagoas is still so very young. He didn't have much of a life, neither in his first life nor in this one. Why begrudge him a lover, Alexander?"

"I don't begrudge him anything. It is just unexpected." Alexander stopped talking when the waiter delivered their order, but once the man had left again, he added, "What will happen to *us* if you are right?"

Hephaistion smiled as he blew onto the tea's surface to cool it down. "It will mean the two of us will get to spend much more time together away from Bagoas. It will be just you and me for a while. Would you like that?" He peeked at Alexander from beneath his long eyelashes. 

"That is a stupid question to ask me!" Alexander deserted his coffee for the moment and shifted closer to his lover. Hidden by the table cloth, one hand stole between his lover's thighs and rubbed him through his jeans.

Hephaistion, who had been sipping his tea, had to do this best to *not* spit it out again as Alexander's bold move had surprised him. "We are in public."

"I always wanted to do it in a public place," Alexander responded, wiggling an eyebrow invitingly. Hephaistion was growing hard and he wickedly kneaded his lover's erection through the fabric. 

"No, we are not doing it in public! You will have to wait until we are in the hotel." This was where Hephaistion drew the line. He was *not* having sex with Alexander in public, no matter how cute his lover pouted or how seductively he continued to massage him through his jeans. "I will make it up to you later," he added, meaning every word of it. He would make it good for Alexander. 

"I will keep you to that." Alexander leaned in closer and kissed Hephaistion. His tongue slithered past parted lips and teeth and made it very clear who was in charge. 

Hephaistion let him believe so. After all, he knew the truth.

~~~

"So, what do you want to name our first baby?" Bagoas chuckled at seeing Francisco's dumbfounded expression. They had been playing 'The SIMS' for the last hour and their Bagoas and Francisco characters had fallen in love and had just had their first baby. "You are the mother, so you get to name him."

Francisco blinked. He was still trying to recover from the 'shock' he had suffered when Bagoas had impregnated his character. Not to mention the surprise he had felt when the baby had appeared out of nowhere. 

"Francisco? You need to name him."

"It is a boy?" Francisco blinked again and then allowed for a sweet smile to focus on his face. "Never thought I would be a mummy one day." He liked the game and the company for that matter. "Why don't we call him Alex?"

Bagoas nodded, feeling rather relieved that Francisco had decided against calling their firstborn Jared. As he entered the name, he asked, "Would you like to have children in real life?"

A sad expression spread across Francisco's features. "Considering the fact that I am gay, I think that I will never be a parent in real life."

"That is not what I asked you." Bagoas paused the game and turned his head toward Francisco. 

Francisco shrugged. "Yes, I would like to have children. A little boy and a girl." But what use was dreaming about something that would never come to pass? "And what about you, Bagoas?"

Bagoas had noticed the sad look in Francisco's eyes and knew he had to do something to chase off the other man's depressing mood. "I already have one. His name is Alexander the Terrible. Keeping him out of trouble is a fulltime job." 

Francisco burst out laughing and nodded his head once. "He is a lovely character."

Bagoas saved their game and then searched Francisco's eyes. "We could watch a movie and cuddle up in front of the TV." Was it just his imagination or was Francisco blushing? "Hephaistion gave Alexander a movie called "Titanic" as a Christmas present and I haven't seen it yet. We could watch it together." Francisco's warm, gentle smile surprised Bagoas, who hadn't expected to see it since Francisco still seemed a bit anxious. "What?"

"I was thinking… I would like to change into my pajamas first. They are much more comfortable than these jeans." 

"Then do that. And while you change, I will make more hot chocolate, but this time, I will add some of Alexander's brandy. It is still rather chilly in here." Although they had lit the fireplace, the cold wind still found ways inside to cool the air in the cottage. Bagoas headed into the kitchen, while Francisco walked into the spare room. 

Francisco felt more and more comfortable around Bagoas. There was something about the other man which made him feel welcome, at ease, and wanted. Although Jared had tried to radiate the same emotions, Francisco could tell that Bagoas' feelings were more genuine than Jared's ever were. He changed into his silk pajamas and then returned to the living room. He was smiling when he settled down onto the couch and watched Bagoas rummage about in the kitchen.

"It's nice to have the place to ourselves, isn't it?" Bagoas had prepared and spiked their hot chocolate and now made his way over to the coffee table, where he put down his tray. 

"Yes, it's quiet – in a good way." Francisco reached for the hot drink and blew onto the surface. 

"I will be right back," Bagoas announced. "I am going to change into something warmer and more comfortable too." Bagoas smiled, turned around, and headed for the room he shared with Alexander and Hephaistion. Although they normally slept naked, there were some pajamas tucked away in a drawer and he slipped into the heavy, comfortable material. 

Bagoas returned to the living room and found that Francisco had collected his comforter from the spare room. "Cold already?"

Francisco lifted the comforter and smiled. "Are you going to join me?"

"Just give me one moment. I need to insert the DVD first." 

Francisco rested his head against the comfort of the couch and sighed blissfully. He didn't know what it was, but something about Bagoas made him relax and lose whatever nervousness had remained. He lifted the comforter again when Bagoas made his way over to the couch.

Bagoas sat down, moved closer to Francisco, and helped tuck the comforter around their forms. "Warm? Comfortable?"

Francisco nodded his head once and then closed his eyes. "This is nice."

/Yes, this is nice,/ Bagoas thought. /I am glad Jared left… You might have ended up hurt instead./ Bagoas chuckled as Francisco moved closer as well and they ended up snuggling close. Yes, this was nice – more than just nice.

~~~

"That's so unfair!" Francisco couldn't contain his tears any longer and they left wet streaks down his cheeks. "Tell me he won't die!" They had reached the scene in which Jack was freezing to death adrift in the icy cold water and Francisco pressed close to Bagoas for comfort and emotional support. "He can't die! They are in love!"

Bagoas reckoned part of it was the brandy talking. They hadn't stopped after their first mug of hot chocolate and he had been liberal when adding the brandy to Francisco's drinks because he had hoped the alcohol would help Francisco feel more at ease. Now he regretted doing so. "Should I get you some tissues?"

Francisco sniffed and used a corner of the comforter to wipe away his tears. "He's dying… He's really dying!" He pressed closer to Bagoas and stared at the screen in shock. "He froze to death!"

"I shouldn't have given you so much brandy," was all Bagoas could say. He had long lost track of the movie because Francisco had begun to cry and shiver against him. 

"It's not the alcohol," Francisco said, still sniffing. "I always cry when movies are this unfair." He couldn't believe they had let Jack die! "I hate this movie!" He was tempted to just get up and march out of the room, but it was cold in his bedroom and he would be alone there. "Damn, I can't stop crying!"

Bagoas arched an eyebrow at hearing Francisco actually use the word 'damn'. "It's just a movie," he murmured, hoping to console Francisco. The movie moved away from the Titanic itself and focused on an elderly Rose. "Sometimes there are no happy endings."

"But I want that movie to have a happy ending! Since my life can't have one, I want the movie to end happily! I wish I hadn't watched it!" Francisco pouted and stubbornly stared at the screen. 

Francisco was about to say something when the scene on screen faded and a young Rose walked toward a staircase. On the landing stood a man, dressed in a tux and a smile started to spread across Bagoas' features. "Maybe the movie *does* have a happy end."

Francisco also realized what was about to happen and sighed happily once Jack and Rose had been reunited. A soft sigh fled his lips and he rested his head against Bagoas' shoulder. A radiant smile appeared on his face and his eyes shone with delight. "I *do* like that movie…"

"Only because of the happy ending," Bagoas teased, smiling and shaking his head at Francisco. "Seriously, do you always cry when you watch a movie?"

"Only when they are about to kill off the main character in such a horrible way." The movie had come to an end and Francisco raised his head so he could peek at Bagoas' face. Not for the first time did he notice how strong and elegant those facial features were and how much pride and self-confidence the eyes contained. He envied Bagoas for feeling so self-assured. He wished he felt like that. "I am tired," he stated and succumbed to a lazy yawn which pried his jaws apart. "Sleepy." 

"That's the brandy." Bagoas considered his next move. "We should probably go to bed and get some sleep."

Francisco averted his gaze and was staring at the screen again. Nervously, he nibbled on his bottom lip. "I don't want to be alone tonight."

Bagoas blinked at hearing Francisco's admission so unexpectedly, but then chided himself – he should have expected the other man to feel that way. Jared had kept Francisco company in bed, but the actor was gone now, which left Francisco alone again. /Just what does he mean when he says that?/

As Bagoas remained quiet, Francisco gathered his courage, peeked at the dark eyes, and added, "I don't want to sleep alone tonight. Will you keep me company and hold me?" The fact that he felt courageous enough to ask Bagoas surprised him. It was probably due to the brandy he'd had. "It is cold in our rooms and there is no harm in sharing a bed. We could keep each other warm." The words continued to flow from his lips, surprising him further. "I will behave, Bagoas… I just don't want to sleep alone."

Bagoas quickly reassured Francisco, who was giving him nervous looks. "I understand, Francisco." He thought Francisco's request over. "I don't see any harm either in sharing a bed." It would be nice to have someone to snuggle up. He was used to sleeping in-between Alexander and Hephaistion and would miss having them close. Francisco and he could help the other out and, truth be told, it wasn't much of a chore or a burden to hold Francisco in his sleep. "Why don't you go and warm the bed? I am going to switch off the TV, the lights, and lock the doors. I will join you in a moment." That should give Francisco some time to compose himself. 

Francisco reluctantly moved away from beneath the comforter and was a bit wobbly when he finally got to his feet. He hissed at the cold air which assailed him and he quickly wrapped the still warm comforter around his body as he made his way toward the spare room. He made a quick stop in the bathroom to relieve himself and wash his hands and face, and then dragged the comforter over to the bed with him. 

He stretched out on the bed and tucked the comforter around his form. He didn't quite know what had possessed him to ask Bagoas to keep him company that night…he only knew he didn't want to be alone after Jared had left him so unexpectedly. 

Bagoas appeared in the doorway a few minutes later and looked questioningly at Francisco, who was almost hidden from view covered by the comforter as he was. 

Francisco lifted the fabric and whispered, "It's warm here." 

Bagoas complied and slipped between the covers. Since he didn't know just how close Francisco wanted him, he waited for the other man to make his intentions known. Francisco, who was facing him, moved into his arms, and rested his head against his shoulder. Bagoas completed the embrace by wrapping his arms around Francisco's waist. It took them another minute of squirming about, but then they had both attained a comfortable position. 

"I am glad that the movie had a happy end. I don't like bad endings," Francisco murmured the words against Bagoas' chest. His eyes were already closing and he felt utterly relaxed. With Jared, he had somehow still felt on his guard, but now that Bagoas was holding him, he felt like he could let go and entrust himself to the other man. Being asleep in Bagoas' arms felt much better than being in Jared's – even his sleep-heavy mind registered that fact. "I…like…this…" Francisco finally gave in to the alcohol triggered exhaustion, rubbed his cheek against Bagoas' shoulder, and drifted off into sleep.

Bagoas had never had the chance to feel protective of someone – not really. It had always been the other way around -- Hephaistion and Alexander were protective of him. It was nice to be the one doing the holding and the comforting for a change. 

Although Francisco was older than he was, Bagoas felt like he needed to protect the other man from getting hurt and he felt up to the task. He wanted this, he realized. He wanted to be the one to *give* love, instead of merely receiving it. 

Alexander and mostly Hephaistion had taught him how to love conditionally and he had learned by example, because they had demonstrated their love so easily. And now, it seemed he wanted that for himself – a love for himself – and he wanted Francisco.

No, it wasn't just a matter of wanting Francisco. It was more than that. He needed Francisco. Bagoas closed his eyes, drew in a deep breath, and admitted to himself that he was falling in love. His crush for Jared had been a temporary thing, brought on by Jared's good looks and the actor's charm. But things were different with Francisco. Francisco was honest, and you got what you saw. 

And by the gods, he wanted that – he wanted an honest love, just for himself.

~~~

"Ouch!" Francisco yelped in pain and sat upright with a start, waking Bagoas in the process since the younger man had been curled around him. "Not again!" 

Bagoas was instantly awake and sat upright as well. Francisco's pain-filled yelps registered with him and he saw how the other man tried to massage his right foot and calf. Tears of pain surfaced in Francisco's dark eyes and more cries tumbled from the pouted lips. "What's wrong?"

Francisco had forgotten about Bagoas' presence since he had been focused on the pain spiraling up his foot and calf. "Cramps," he managed to whisper, pressing out the air he had involuntarily sucked inside. "Hurts."

Bagoas crawled toward the foot of the bed and pushed Francisco's hands out of the way. Francisco was trying to rub his calf, but was failing to reach it properly. "Let me," Bagoas ordered resolutely. He pushed the comforter out of the way and placed the sole of Francisco's foot against his thigh. Leaning forward, he let his fingertips explore the area which was affected by the spasms. "How did this happen?" 

Francisco let himself fall back onto the mattress and his fingers clawed at the mattress, revealing the pain he was in. Panting softly, he stared at the ceiling and tried to stop the tears from leaving his eyes, but it hurt. It hurt really badly! "It happens when I am stressed…and I didn't work out lately…oh, my god, it hurts! Make it stop!" He hated cramps for they made him want to crawl up the walls due to the pain he was in. And there was so little he could do against it except to massage it and hope that it would eventually go away! 

"I need massage oil!" Bagoas considered getting a phial from Alexander's room, but that meant he had to stop kneading the affected limb. 

"There is some in the nightstand." Francisco had put it there for exactly that reason. Before Jared had showed up in London, he had woken up almost each night because of the cramps.

Bagoas opened the drawer, grabbed hold of the phial, uncapped it, and let the slick oil drip onto Francisco's foot and calf. "I will try to loosen your muscles. Try to relax, Francisco. This will take a few minutes." As a dancer, he had experienced such cramps as well and he knew they could be painful. 

Francisco closed his eyes and worked on regulating his breathing. It helped that Bagoas knew what he was doing and was working on the sore muscles. His fingers began to relax as well and released the fabric he had been clutching. 

Bagoas felt Francisco relax, but didn't stop working on the sore muscles yet. Now that the area was slick and began to feel warm to the touch, he took his time and continued the massage. "Does this happen often?"

"Yes, it does, unfortunately. I am sorry I woke you." Francisco opened his eyes and gave Bagoas a grateful look. "Normally I get out of bed and walk about a bit. That does the trick as well." But then the affected area remained sore for the rest of the night. Now that the pain had resided, Francisco realized just how good Bagoas was at giving massages. "You did that before."

"Hephaistion taught me how to give massages." He remembered the first few times Hephaistion had given him those sensual massages fondly. They had helped him trust Hephaistion and had strengthened their bond. "Is the cramp gone?"

"Yes, but please don't stop yet." Francisco's eyes widened, realizing he had actually said that aloud. That hadn't been his intention!

Bagoas smiled and continued the massage. "Do you get cramps in your other leg too?"

Francisco swallowed hard. "At times, yes." The feel of Bagoas' fingers moving over his skin made him feel at peace and he didn't want the massage to stop yet.

Bagoas considered his options. In the end, he pushed the fabric of Francisco's pajama bottoms toward his knee and exposed more of the leg. "Why don't I concentrate on this leg for now? I don't want the cramps to return later tonight." The truth was that he didn't want to stop touching Francisco. Sliding his fingers over the slick skin, he smiled at seeing the open expression in Francisco's eyes. /He trusts me./ That realization made him feel good.

Francisco forced himself to accept what Bagoas was giving him so freely and he closed his eyes to savor the sensation more. They had professional masseurs at the National Ballet, but Bagoas' touch was different – better. "I am still sorry that I woke you," he whispered, feeling guilty. 

"Don't worry about it." His fingertips told him that the muscles were once more relaxed and he could stop the massage, but he didn't want to stop touching Francisco. "I am glad I was close so I could help."

Francisco opened his eyes and took in Bagoas' face, which was slightly obscured by darkness. Only a little moonlight made it into their room, but it was enough for Francisco to see the smile on Bagoas' face. Suddenly the intimacy of the position they were in struck him and he blushed. "I am glad you are here."

Bagoas' heart missed a beat and his fingertips came to a stop. They continued to rest on the slick skin, but didn’t move. "Francisco? I am no good at pretending, or acting, for that matter… There is something I need to tell you."

With Bagoas sounding so serious, Francisco pushed himself into a sitting position. His foot still rested against Bagoas' thigh and the contact seemed to bridge any emotional distance that existed between them. "What is it?" 

Bagoas cocked his head and wondered if Alexander and Hephaistion had felt this awkward when they had realized they liked each other in that way. And that was another problem he faced: he didn't know if Francisco returned his feelings. /Feelings? By the gods! I sound like I am about to profess my undying love to him!/

"Bagoas? Why are you staring at me that way?" Francisco shivered, not knowing what to expect. 

Bagoas drew in a deep breath and then gathered his courage. "I am glad Jared left, you know that."

Francisco nodded his head once. "Yes, you said so."

"I am convinced he would have hurt if you had gotten together with him." Bagoas felt like a traitor for talking about Jared like this. After all, he had once had a crush on the actor himself! 

"I realized that myself." Francisco felt puzzled and wondered what was going on in Bagoas' head. "What do you want to tell me?" The situation felt surreal. It was night, it was dark, and there was only a little silver moonlight illuminating their faces. The expression in Bagoas' eyes was unreadable and that worried him further. 

Bagoas wasn't sure he could go ahead and his fingers curled around Francisco's ankle as if trying to draw the other man in that way.

Francisco felt how the fingers locked around his ankle and wondered why Bagoas needed the physical contact. What was happening? 

"I don't know when it happened or why," Bagoas explained, avoiding Francisco's eyes by lowering his gaze. "But I realized recently that I like you. Maybe it started that day in London, I don't know. I only know that my feelings are deepening."

"Your feelings?" Francisco blinked. "Bagoas…?" Bagoas couldn't be saying what he thought the other man was saying!

"I know that you are probably still in love with Jared and I didn't want to bring this up, but… I want the chance that Jared passed up. Give me that chance since he didn't want it." Bagoas finally opened his eyes and looked into Francisco's startled ones. "I didn't want to shock you."

Francisco needed a moment to understand what Bagoas had just admitted to. "You are attracted to me?"

"I didn't know the true nature of my feelings until a few hours ago. I finally realized I was falling for you when I saw how much you were hurting because Jared was leaving. All I could think of was comforting you and assuring you that Jared was a fool for passing up his chance with you. It's all I can think of right now."

Francisco's heart was pounding and he wasn't quite sure why. "The last thing I expected to get tonight was a declaration of love." Then he blinked. "But Bagoas, you are in love with Alexander and Hephaistion. You already have two lovers." This didn't make any sense to him!

"I…" Bagoas suddenly didn't feel comfortable discussing this. 

Francisco saw the insecurity on Bagoas' face and took charge. "Come, sit here with me." He patted the space next to him. Maybe discussing this matter would be easier if there wasn't a physical distance between them, no matter how minimal.

Bagoas moved closer, sat next to Francisco, and allowed for the other man to pull up the comforter and wrap it around them. Francisco moved closer, which encouraged Bagoas, and then placed his hand on Bagoas’. Bagoas looked up in surprise. He had hoped Francisco would understand, but hadn't thought it would actually happen. "I like you, Francisco. I know it is hard to understand, but… I never had a love of my own. Even with Alexander and Hephaistion I have to share. I want a love of my own. Someone I can pamper, love, and cherish." 

"And that would be me?" Francisco shook his head. "Bagoas, I doubt you are in love with me. You want someone to yourself… That isn't love."

"No! I explained it all wrong! Give me another chance!" Bagoas curled his fingers around Francisco's. He *had* to make the other man understand! "I didn't know I had these feelings! You must understand – for the last few years I thought I would always be with Alexander and Hephaistion and, after the life I had led, that sounded like heaven to me, but… Alexander and Hephaistion belong together and I always felt like I was waiting for something – someone." He hadn't known any of this until now. But now that he was sorting out his thoughts and emotions, he began to understand. "And you…"

Francisco smiled warmly. "You do realize we are both 'recovering' from our crush on Jared? Getting involved now would be a bad thing."

"Francisco, I am not like that… I don't move that fast. I want to take time building a relationship. I learned that from Hephaistion. Alexander would probably just throw you on the bed and have his way with you, but… I am different." Bagoas sighed, upset that he wasn't finding the right words to explain his feelings and intentions. Bagoas' breath caught when Francisco raised his hand and cupped his face with it. There was a soft expression in Francisco's eyes and seeing it caused butterflies to tickle his insides. Was this love? He had never felt anything like it before. He had thought he loved Alexander and Hephaistion, but this was different – so different that it almost frightened him. 

"I can tell you are different, Bagoas." Francisco didn't really know how to handle this situation. He had been emotional to begin with and then there had been his little problems regarding his crush on Jared, and then Bagoas had sprung this on him. "But I need a little time." 

"I understand that…and I am not pressuring you… I just wan you to know that…that you are not alone." Bagoas' heart still jumped at times and caused him to pant softly. 

Looking into Bagoas' eyes and seeing the dilated pupils, Francisco saw himself reflected in those dark orbs. When he had looked into Jared's, he had never seen such love in them. Which was understandable since Jared hadn't proclaimed he loved him in that way. But what he saw in Bagoas' eyes was pure and selfless love. It made him place a kiss onto Bagoas' brow, since he was too timid and insecure to go for the lips yet. What he had said was true – he needed time. 

Bagoas felt utterly lost as he stared into Francisco's eyes. It seemed as if they had a magical hold on him. "I don't think I can go back to sleep now." He realized he had to give Francisco a chance to get away from what they had been discussing. He wanted to make it clear that he was going to give Francisco all the time and space the other man needed. 

"Neither can I. But that massage you gave me took care of my cramps, thank you." Francisco eased himself down onto the mattress and Bagoas moved with him. He snuggled up to Bagoas and maintained eye contact the whole time. Seeing love in Bagoas' eyes made him feel at ease.

Bagoas wrapped his arms around Francisco and they settled in for the night – again. "The next time you get cramps, I will take care of them." Hoping he wasn't overstepping any boundaries, he placed a feather light kiss onto Francisco's trembling lips. The kiss was bittersweet and Francisco's lips tasted like nothing he had ever tasted before. 

Francisco felt it too, but didn't dare act upon the sensation yet. He desperately needed time and thankfully, Bagoas was willing to give him that. Lowering his head onto Bagoas' shoulder, he sighed and closed his eyes. "Do you think Alexander and Hephaistion will allow me to stay longer?"

"How much longer?" Bagoas' heart pounded like mad in his chest.

"A few weeks? Maybe even a few months?" If Bagoas' love was for real, he would gladly put his career on hold. He had always thought that love should come first. He smiled happily against Bagoas' chest.

"You can stay as long as you want. They already said so, didn't they?" Bagoas closed his eyes and concentrated on hearing Francisco breathe. The next thing he noticed was the scent that invaded his nostrils. Was it his imagination or did Francisco smell of chocolate? Oh, Francisco felt so good in his arms – so warm, so solid, and so very real!

"I will stay then…if you want me to stay…and I will give this a chance."

/Jared was a fool to choose his career over your love./ But Bagoas wasn't complaining, since it meant that he was getting his chance with Francisco. "Please stay. Please, Francisco."

Francisco smiled and twined his fingers with Bagoas'. "I will stay…" Now that he had made his decision, peace washed over him and he even began to drift back into sleep. 

Francisco's breathing deepened and evened out. The other man's long fingers twitched around his and Bagoas protectively rested his chin atop of Francisco's. The older man's words continued to ring in his ears. /I will stay then…if you want me to stay…and I will give this a chance./

Francisco was going to stay and Bagoas would get his chance to court him.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

A Leap of Faith

 

The fact that Alexander was eerily quiet worried Hephaistion. Ever since they had said their goodbyes to Jared, Alexander had stared off into the distance. He only reacted with a soft 'hum' whenever Hephaistion asked him a question and that worried Hephaistion even more. The erotic tension that had existed between them in the coffee shop had completely disappeared.

 

Hephaistion checked them into the Titania hotel and, once the two of them were alone in their hotel room, he took hold of Alexander's arm and guided his lover over to the bed where he sat him down. Alexander didn't react, protest, or look at him. Hephaistion seated himself next to Alexander and curled his fingers around his lover's. "Alexander? What's wrong? Tell me." He wasn't even sure if his voice registered with Alexander, considering the absentminded expression in his lover's dark eyes. His suspicion proved correct and Hephaistion had to change tactics.

 

Rubbing Alexander's fingers, he spoke again, louder this time. "Alexander, do you hear me? What has gotten into you? What's wrong?" This time, Alexander reacted, but more than likely it was due to the urgent tone which Hephaistion had used.

 

Alexander blinked and grew aware of Hephaistion rubbing his fingers. He drew in a deep breath in order to compose himself and then looked at his lover's worried face. "Hephaistion, I…" In the end, his courage deserted him and he grew quiet again.

 

"What's wrong? Alexander, I can only help you when you tell me what's bothering you. Is this about Bagoas and Francisco?" Hephaistion didn't know what to make of Alexander's expression, which was lost and full of guilt.

 

"Do you blame me for your death?" Alexander eventually blurted the question out bluntly.

 

Hephaistion gasped. "What did you say?" What was Alexander talking about? He squeezed his lover's fingers tighter and moved closer until he could slip one arm around Alexander's frame.

 

Alexander lowered his gaze and then closed his eyes completely, unable to look at his lover any longer. "If I hadn't been determined to conquer India, you would never have contracted typhus and you wouldn't have died."

 

Hephaistion drew in another, steadying breath. "Alexander, that's nonsense! If I hadn't died of typhus, I might have died of malaria like you or fallen in battle!"

 

Alexander's eyes opened and he glared at Hephaistion. "That's exactly the point I am trying to make, Hephaistion! I endangered your life! My ambition to conquer the world placed you in danger!"

 

Hephaistion blinked. "Ambition? Alexander, is this somehow tied to Jared leaving Francisco?"

 

Alexander shrugged. "Not really." He shifted on the bed until he sat facing Hephaistion and freed his hands from his lover's crushing hold so he could cup the other man's face. "I just realized that I caused your death – prematurely. If we had stayed in Pella, we might have grown old together. But no instead, I had to drag you into India. Hephaistion, I failed you in so many ways during our first life! I don't understand how you can still love me!"

 

Hephaistion had been unprepared for Alexander's emotional outburst. "I thought we had already dealt with this." They had discussed the fact that Alexander felt guilty before and he had thought he had done away with Alexander's fears and doubts.

 

"Maybe *you* did...but I didn't." Alexander peeked at his lover's face and cringed as he saw the loving expression in those incredible blue eyes. "Hephaistion, if I hadn't been so driven, we…"

 

"Stop it. Stop it right there!" Hephaistion placed his hands on Alexander's shoulders and shook his lover firmly. "You did what you had to do and I followed where you led! I did so willingly because your dream was my dream! Alexander, because of you I saw the world! We traveled to Egypt and you were proclaimed a living god there! We conquered Persia! How many men can say they did that? You gave me the world, so stop blaming yourself for something you had no control over! Yes, I contracted typhus in India and yes, I would have loved to stay with you longer, but the thirty years we lived equals a hundred years in the life of a 'normal' human being, Alexander! What you did – what we accomplished – was exceptional!"

 

Alexander had calmed during Hephaistion's speech and when he looked into those large blue eyes, he saw nothing but love and devotion there. Hephaistion loved him. Loved him after all he had put his lover through! Such love, such dedication should not go unrewarded! "I love you, Hephaistion. You are the other half of my soul and I am lost without you. I will never again endanger your life, or mine for that matter, and I promise you that I will love you until the day we die!"

 

For some reason, the last thing Hephaistion had expected to hear at that point was Alexander declaring his love in such a passionate way. "We lived our lives the way we were supposed to, Alexander. We were nothing but leaves and the wind blew us in a certain direction. We drifted along on the breeze and it took us to places we had only dreamt of. You gave me an extraordinary life – and a love that compares to no other."

 

Overcome by his emotions, Alexander shifted until he was kneeling on the bed. He slid his arms upwards along Hephaistion's back and then lowered his lover onto the mattress. Hovering above him, Alexander took in his lover's face. The blue eyes glowed with love for him. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I thank the gods on my knees for allowing me to have your love." He leaned in closer and kissed Hephaistion, their lips locking in an ardent kiss.

 

Hephaistion parted his lips and teeth and lured Alexander inside by curling his tongue around his lover's. He groaned as Alexander's fingers undid the buttons to his shirt before they moved lower to unzip his jeans. Electricity sparkled in the air and Hephaistion stared, enraptured, at the beautiful sight Alexander presented at the moment. The brown eyes had golden specks in them, the lips were still slightly parted from the kiss they had just delivered, and Alexander was panting softly while giving him the most amazing look ever. For one moment, Hephaistion could actually taste Alexander's love; remnants of it still lingered on his lips. "I am yours, Alexander. I have always been yours…"

 

Alexander had managed to dispose of Hephaistion's jeans and was busy freeing himself from the confines of his slacks. The need to claim Hephaistion had never been as overwhelming as it was right then. Not even during their first time together had he felt this insane need to prove to the both of them that they belonged together. Alexander stroked his erection a few times, spread the moisture that leaked from the slit over the head, and then positioned himself between Hephaistion's legs.

 

The need for words fled and Hephaistion arched his back the moment Alexander pushed inside. The lack of oil made the penetration more painful than it would normally have been, but at the same time, he *felt* so much more connected to Alexander.

 

Alexander buried himself inside his lover's tight passage and then lowered himself onto Hephaistion. He guided his lover's legs around his waist and once Hephaistion's thighs imprisoned him tightly, he wrapped his arms around his lover's trembling frame. He pulled Hephaistion close – so close that he could sense his lover's heart beat beneath his fingertips. Alexander didn't move. He didn't have to. All he needed – all *they* needed – was to feel connected.

 

Hephaistion squirmed beneath Alexander as his lover's cock rubbed against his prostate with each breath that Alexander drew in. Suddenly, Alexander's lips claimed his and another kiss started – a kiss which seemed to last forever.

 

Staring into each other's eyes, Hephaistion lost control and he demandingly sucked on the tip of Alexander's tongue. The manipulation caused Alexander to jerk and by doing so, he hit Hephaistion's prostate again. The movement was enough to make Hephaistion come and Alexander growled, feeling warm cream spread between their bellies.

 

"Come for me," Hephaistion whispered, still high on the adrenaline and ecstasy which was now coursing through his veins. "Come with me."

 

Unable to deny Hephaistion and eager to complete the passionate encounter, Alexander grunted, thrust, and released his seed deep within his lover's passage. "I promise you," he whispered into Hephaistion's ear. "I promise to always love you, keep you, and protect you. When you die, I will follow you into death and I will find you again in our next life. No deity will keep us apart in our next life. We belong together for all eternity."

 

Exhausted now that he had spent himself inside his lover's body, Alexander rested his upper body onto Hephaistion's muscular form, knowing his beloved could easily carry his weight. "I will never hurt you again. I will never endanger your life and I will be with you until the end."

 

A lump of emotions built in Hephaistion's throat and a single tear left his eye upon hearing his lover's fervent vow.

Sensing he had somehow upset his lover, Alexander raised his head and studied the swimming eyes. "Hephaistion? What did I do wrong?"

 

"Nothing, you did nothing wrong. Everything you did, you did right. It is just…hearing you say that makes me realize how much you love me…and how much I love you." Hephaistion enfolded Alexander in a tight hug and pulled him close. "I don't blame you for anything, Alexander. You gave me so much…you gave me the world and you gave me your love. You gave me your soul!"

 

Alexander closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against Hephaistion's shoulder. Hephaistion and he were connected in a way he could never explain – not even to Bagoas. And right now, that connection was as strong as never before. "Never stop loving me, Hephaistion. I need you so much… I need your love so much."

 

"I will never stop loving you, you fool!" Hephaistion chuckled and smiled at Alexander when the brown eyes peeked at him. "You are a fool for thinking I would ever stop loving you! My heart would sooner stop beating than it would stop loving you!"

 

Alexander rested his chin on Hephaistion's chest and looked adoringly at his lover's face. He had never known that he could love someone so much that it actually hurt. But it was a good kind of hurt because it made him feel alive – alive and loved.

 

~~~

 

Alexander loved sliding his fingers through Hephaistion's long hair. The luxurious bathtub that came with the suite was large enough to hold them both and Alexander had taken it upon himself to clean up a debauched looking Hephaistion.

 

Since they had been almost fully clothed while making love, Alexander had quickly removed their remaining clothes and had placed a call to the front desk to have them picked up and cleaned. They had forgotten to take spare clothes with them and needed them when they would pick up Hephaistion's father the next day. So while their clothes were being cleaned, Alexander enjoyed shampooing Hephaistion's hair.

 

Hephaistion purred now that he had Alexander's undivided attention once more. "That feels good." Alexander's fingers massaged his scalp and he moved back until his back rested against Alexander's chest.

 

"I could get used to it being just the two of us," Alexander whispered into his lover's ear. "Provided, of course, that Bagoas is happy with Francisco." It would be nice to have Hephaistion all to himself for a while.

 

Hephaistion smiled and looked at Alexander from over his shoulder. Alexander's fingers were forced out of his hair and came to rest on his shoulders instead. "We won't be alone for long, since my dad will join us tomorrow."

 

"I know nothing about your father. Why don't you tell me about him?" Alexander slid his fingers back into the dark hair and continued to massage the scalp.

 

Hephaistion closed his eyes in bliss. "His name is Jason… I wouldn't advise you to call him 'dad' from the start."

 

Alexander chuckled. "How much does he know?"

 

"About you and me? He knows we are lovers and that you are the reason I settled down in Greece. I didn't tell him who we were in our first lives."

 

"Do you think he won't believe us?" Alexander had finished shampooing the hair and now rinsed the dark strands until they were free of the shampoo.

 

"I don't know – I honestly don't know how he will react should he ever find out." Hephaistion turned in the embrace and wrapped his legs around Alexander's waist. The water was warm and carried an exotic scent and for one moment, it was easy to imagine that they were the only people alive on the earth. "He is tolerant and open-minded, but this is different…this is about me and he can be protective of me, just like you."

 

Alexander rested his brow against Hephaistion's. "Are you afraid that he will think I manipulated you into believing our souls have been reincarnated?"

 

"He might think that. Alexander, I don't know how he will react! I never told him because I didn't think you would meet him any time soon!" Hephaistion stared deeply into his lover's eyes. "Maybe it is best for us to keep this a secret where my father is concerned. He will accept you as my lover, I am certain of that. My dad isn't biased and won't have any problems with the fact that I have taken a male lover. But the reincarnation issue is a different matter all together."

 

Alexander nodded his head once and in doing so, his brow rubbed gently against Hephaistion's. "I trust your judgment, my Hephaistion, since you know your father best." Alexander wrung the excess water from Hephaistion's hair and added, "You are ready. Why don't you warm up the bed for us?"

 

Hephaistion rose from the water and wrapped a large towel around his frame. He could tell that Alexander needed a moment alone, although he had no idea why. "Don't make me wait too long." Leaning forward, he placed a kiss on Alexander's lips.

 

"I will join you in a moment." Alexander watched as Hephaistion rubbed his skin dry and then dried his hair until most of the water was gone. Hephaistion let the towel drop onto the floor and then left the bathroom to give Alexander what he needed most that moment – some privacy.

 

The water was still warm and Alexander lingered in the tub a moment longer. Closing his eyes, he wrapped his arms around his waist and then he drew in a deep, calming breath. "Thank you," he whispered, uncaring which god had had a hand in their reincarnation. "Thank you for giving me this second chance. I won't ruin it this time around. I promise. I will make him happy. I will love him until the day we die."

 

~~~

 

Hephaistion was staring at the window when Alexander finally stepped into their bedroom. The temperature outside had risen and, instead of snow, rain cascaded down the glass. Lost in thought, he wondered if he should have paid more attention to Alexander, since he hadn't noticed the emotional uproar his lover had been in. But there had been so much going on, with Jared and Francisco visiting and them celebrating Christmas! Still, that was no valid excuse for neglecting his lover's needs!

 

Alexander circled around the bed and sat down on Hephaistion's side. Cocking his head, he easily caught the worried look in his beloved's eyes. "Now it is you who is upset. Is it because of me?" Alexander had learned that his emotions caused Hephaistion to react and he had grown enough emotionally to deal with the consequences. "Hephaistion? Move over, please."

 

Hephaistion shifted toward the center of the bed and made way for Alexander so his lover could lie down next to him.

 

Alexander stretched out on his side and wrapped his arms around Hephaistion, relishing the skin-on-skin contact. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

 

"I have been remiss, Alexander. I should have realized that this bothered you and…" Alexander quickly placed a finger against his lips and Hephaistion had no choice but to go silent.

 

"This is not your fault. Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, Hephaistion. You did that during your first life and maybe that is something *you* need to learn in this life – that you don't blame yourself for something that you have no control over. Don't you dare feel responsible for the fact that I was upset!"

 

"I am so used to doing that," Hephaistion admitted. "It is hard to change my ways. During our first life I constantly worried about you and…"

 

Alexander interrupted him. "I was seriously messed up during my first life, Hephaistion. My parents did a lot of damage and you had to undo that. And you worked a miracle with me." Alexander kissed Hephaistion's brow and then tucked his lover's head under his chin. "You did so well that I can now be here for you when you need me. You accomplished the impossible, my Hephaistion."

 

Hephaistion smiled against Alexander's chest. He could listen to Alexander talk like this forever, but his lover had stopped speaking and all he heard was the gentle tapping of the rain against the window. "I love you, Alexander. And I love you even more in this life than in our first…if that is possible," he added in afterthought.

 

"The same is true for me." Alexander snuggled closer and relished having Hephaistion so close. "I love you so much that it hurts at times."

 

Hephaistion had closed his eyes while listening to Alexander and slowly drifted off into the land of dreams.

 

Alexander didn't fall asleep for awhile. He wanted to savor feeling the love that connected them and if it were up to him, he would stay awake all night long and just relish holding Hephaistion, just like Hephaistion had done for him so many nights in the past. But this time it was different. This time, *he* was holding Hephaistion after having comforted him. It seemed their relationship was changing again with Alexander's gaining of more insight into his own behavior. Now, he could finally be the partner Hephaistion so rightly deserved.

 

~~~

 

The next morning, Francisco woke to the aroma of freshly made coffee, toast, and orange marmalade. He opened his eyes and pushed himself up onto his elbows. A pillow had already been placed against the headboard and Francisco made himself comfortable.

 

Bagoas was seated on the side of the bed and placed the tray which held their breakfast on the nightstand. "I didn't know what you preferred in the morning, so I ended up making coffee and toast." Bagoas slid further onto the bed and wiggled until he found a comfortable position. He placed the tray on their laps and gave Francisco a hopeful look.

 

Francisco smiled warmly at Bagoas. "This is a nice thing for you to do." He couldn't remember the last time he'd had breakfast in bed! He looked on as Bagoas buttered a slice of toast and then added some marmalade to it. The other man presented the food to him with a smile and Francisco gracefully accepted the toast, nibbling on it.

 

Bagoas felt pleased that his idea to serve breakfast in bed was working out so well. He had been worried that Francisco might feel awkward waking up next to him and he had opted to make breakfast and distract him in that way. Apparently it worked because Francisco was still smiling at him. "After we finish breakfast we could move the furniture in the living room aside and do some stretching exercises. I would prefer to go outside, but it's raining."

 

"Bagoas?" Francisco had finished his toast and gave Bagoas a grateful smile. "Thank you for helping me out last night. These cramps are happening more often and they are getting worse as well." Bagoas handed him a mug filled with coffee and Francisco blew on the surface to help it cool down. His expression darkened and his smile faded. "I don't know what it is causing them…maybe I am growing old." Dancing wasn't like any other profession – dancers grew old fast. He had always known that he had to look for second career, but nothing else had come up – except for the film Alexander.

 

"Does that worry you?" Bagoas cringed as he realized just how stupid his question was. "Of course it does."

 

"It does – to a certain degree. I always knew that I couldn't dance forever. That is one reason why I accepted playing Bagoas in the film." A sad smile curled his lips. "But I am not that good an actor." In some ways, he *did* worry about his future. He was alone in this world, since he couldn't count on his family to support him after they had rejected him.

 

Bagoas drew in a deep breath, cocked his head, and waited for Francisco to look at him before he started talking again. "You can always live with us – here."

 

Francisco's sad expression faded and his warm smile returned. "You are easy to love, aren’t you, Bagoas?"

 

"I hope so…for it might improve my chances with you." Bagoas felt mesmerized with having Francisco so close. The black hair was sleep-tousled, a dreamy expression occupied Francisco's dark eyes, and a sweet scent clung to the other man's skin. It all served to draw him in closer. "Something tells me you are easy to love as well."

 

"I am not complicated, if that is what you mean. I believe in honesty, love, and commitment." Francisco grew flustered. "I have dated before, but the moment I told them I wanted a committed relationship they disappeared on me." Francisco shrugged, growing quiet and worried again.

 

"I am not like that." Bagoas moved closer and raised Francisco's chin by placing a finger beneath it. "I learned from the best. Hephaistion taught me what a 'real' relationship is about and I must admit that I am eager to try."

 

"Why me, Bagoas?" Francisco put his coffee down for the moment and concentrated on Bagoas. He tried hard to decipher the expression in the almond-shaped eyes.

 

"We both love dancing… You have a kind and gentle nature and I felt drawn to you from the start, though I just didn't realize it. I was so focused on being a part of Hephaistion and Alexander that I forgot that I am a separate person. I like you, Francisco. I like you a lot." He couldn't help it: he blushed.

 

In a way, Francisco understood what Bagoas was trying to tell him. It had been the three of them – Hephaistion, Bagoas, and Alexander – for years and now Bagoas realized things could be different if he wanted that. "I like you too, Bagoas." Realizing it was up to him to make the first move he cupped Bagoas' cheek in his hand and smiled. "I should thank you for serving me breakfast in bed."

 

Bagoas' breath caught as Francisco leaned in closer. A moment later, soft lips pressed against his in a chaste kiss and Francisco's long fingers moved through his hair. He smiled into the kiss and, although he would have loved to deepen it, he didn't. It was up to Francisco to set the pace of their relationship.

 

Francisco's eyes twinkled when his lips deserted Bagoas'. That kiss had made him feel good. "We should finish breakfast and then do those exercises you mentioned."

 

"And later on we can take Peritas for a walk, if you want to. Some fresh air might do us good…that is, if it stops raining."

 

"I would like that." Running his fingers through Bagoas' long, raven hair was a novel experience for Francisco. None of his former lovers had sported such luxurious hair! Looking into Bagoas' eyes, he wondered why he was wavering to take the chance. Bagoas was honest with him and the other man seemed genuinely interested in him. What did he have to lose?

 

Nothing…

 

~~~

 

"He called just now and cancelled."

 

Hephaistion's expression had darkened and his eyes had gained a somber glow, which made Alexander wonder if his lover was about to shed tears over the fact that his father wasn't going to visit them for New Year's. "Did he say why?"

 

"Something unexpected came up." Hephaistion shrugged his shoulders. He was trying to appear unfazed, but his father canceling his trip to Athens came as a bit of a shock. "I was so certain he would make it!" They had been about to check out of the hotel and leave for the airport when Hephaistion's cell phone had rung. "I would have loved to spend some time with him."

 

Alexander dropped his duffle bag onto the floor and walked over to Hephaistion. He folded an arm around his lover's waist and guided Hephaistion back to the bed. He pulled Hephaistion down with him and curled his fingers around his lover's trembling hand. "He will visit with us another time."

 

Hephaistion forced himself to nod. "He will find the time eventually. It isn't like he doesn't want to visit but he is too busy at the moment." Hephaistion raised his head and looked into Alexander's eyes. "What do we do now? Head home empty-handed?"

 

"We don't have to go home yet. We could stay here a little longer. Athens is a beautiful city and there are numerous sites we could visit." Alexander was doing his best to console his beloved Hephaistion. "Or we could stay here and make love for days in a row. Oh yes, we could do nothing but making love!" Now that he was thinking about that, he decided he liked that last idea best.

 

Alexander's words made Hephaistion chuckle. "Oh, I love you so much!" Alexander always managed to cheer him up.

 

Alexander released Hephaistion's digits from his hold and raised his hand so he could caress his lover's face. "I am sorry that I won't get to meet your dad, but if that means I get more quality time with you, then I don't mind that he can't make it."

 

The smile that surfaced on Hephaistion's face was warm and genuine. Alexander had matured immensely the last few months and Hephaistion was grateful to have a lover like Alexander at his side. "We should head home, Alexander."

 

"Are you certain? We could indulge ourselves for a few days – get massages, visit the Acropolis, or see the new exhibits in the museum." Alexander quickly shook his head. "No, I won't drag you into the Alexander exhibit. I know you don't want to be confronted with my remains."

 

Hephaistion leaned into the caress which Alexander was bestowing onto his face. "In that case we should call Bagoas and tell him that our plans have changed."

 

"I don't think he will mind a change in plans – that is, if you are right where Bagoas and Francisco are concerned." Alexander would love to have his Hephaistion to himself for the next few days. "I will make that call. Why don't you talk to the front desk and tell them we want to stay for a few more days?"

 

Hephaistion nodded his head once. "I will arrange for our stay." He could do that on the phone, but he needed a moment to compose himself and going to the reception desk would give him that moment.

 

Alexander placed a kiss onto Hephaistion's lips and then watched his lover leave the room. He understood that Hephaistion felt disappointed and he would have liked to have met Hephaistion's dad, but at the same time, he also felt relieved. He had been worried that Hephaistion's father might not like him and that tension would arise between the three of them.

 

Recalling he was supposed to update Bagoas, he uncovered his cell phone.

 

~~~

 

Bagoas cursed when the phone ringing broke their concentration. They had almost finished their stretching exercises – why couldn't that phone have rung a minute later? "I have to get that," he said apologetically. "Only Alexander, Hephaistion, and Jared have my phone number and I doubt it is Jared giving us a call."

 

Francisco continued his stretching exercises since he wasn't required to answer the call. Bagoas had kept his word and had pushed all of the furniture to the side and they now had ample room to move about. He was actually looking forward to seeing Bagoas dance – maybe Bagoas would perform the sensual dance again which had made him hard back in London.

 

Bagoas answered the call, wondering who was calling him – Alexander or Hephaistion – and even more importantly why. "It’s me, Bagoas."

 

"Bagoas, I am calling to tell you that there has been a change in plans. Hephaistion's father cancelled his trip."

 

Bagoas frowned. "Hephaistion must be disappointed."

 

"Yes, he's disappointed, but… I decided to make the best of it. Hephaistion and I will stay here for the next few days."

 

"Will you be back to celebrate New Year's Day with us?" It was the twenty-ninth that day and Bagoas hoped they would be back on the first of January.

 

"I will try to arrange it in such a way that we will join you for New Year's." Alexander wanted to celebrate New Year's with Bagoas and Francisco as well. "Is this a problem? Do you need us at home? Or can you manage without us?"

 

Bagoas realized the chance he was being given. Because of Alexander's offer, he would have Francisco to himself for the next few days. "Don't worry about us. We have ample food, drinks, and even champagne!" It was a good thing that Hephaistion had bought extra provisions during their Christmas shopping.

 

Alexander snorted. "Sounds like I don't have to worry about the two of you!" It appeared that Hephaistion had been right: Bagoas did fancy Francisco in that way! "I will call you again when we are getting ready to head home."

 

Bagoas smiled at Francisco when the other man arched an eyebrow. He would fill Francisco in later. "Just have a good time while you are in Athens! Tell Hephaistion I love him and take good care of him!"

 

Francisco smiled warmly at Bagoas at hearing those words. When he had accepted Jared's invitation to spend Christmas here, he had known that Alexander, Hephaistion, and Bagoas were lovers and he realized that Bagoas wouldn't stop loving Alexander and Hephaistion just because *he* had entered Bagoas' life. And he didn't want Bagoas to stop loving them. Francisco was intelligent and mature enough to realize that different sorts of love could co-exist. That Bagoas loved Alexander and Hephaistion didn't mean that Bagoas loved him less. But it did mean that they would have to talk about their relationship, should it evolve into something deeper and more profound.

 

Looking at the dark-haired dancer, Bagoas smiled fondly. Francisco was remarkably flexible and could maneuver his body into almost impossible positions. Francisco was a gifted dancer and Bagoas suspected the cramps would go away once Francisco returned to carrying out his exercises on a daily bases. Which reminded him… He had bought Alexander a game as a Christmas gift. The game was called Twister and he hoped he could convince Francisco to play it with him some time.

 

"What did Alexander say?" Francisco grew motionless so he could probe Bagoas' dark eyes better.

 

"Hephaistion's father cancelled and they decided to stay in Athens for the next few days, which means, the house is ours. We can do whatever we want!"

 

Francisco's smile became even brighter and he couldn't help but wonder what exactly Bagoas was up to!

 

~~~

 

After Bagoas and Francisco finished their stretching exercises, Peritas decided it was time that they took him for his walk. The rain had stopped and the sun was even occasionally peeking through the fading clouds. The sky was turning blue, promising warmth, sun rays, and most importantly no rain!

 

Bagoas smiled at the dog when Peritas trotted over to him to rest his head on his knee. Although they had never gotten along in their first life, Bagoas had managed to befriend the dog this time around and he enjoyed rubbing behind Peritas' ears. The eyes closed and Bagoas' smile brightened. "You want to go outside." And truth be told, he wanted to go outside too, especially since it wasn't raining or freezing. He raised his gaze and located Francisco, who was rummaging about in the kitchen. They had eaten breakfast, and since Bagoas had made it, Francisco had offered to do the washing up.

 

Francisco felt Bagoas' eyes on him and peeked at the long-haired man. It was a strange thing – realizing Bagoas wanted him in that way, especially considering Bagoas' life history. Bagoas had told him in detail what had happened to him in his first and second lives and Francisco realized only too well that it was due to Alexander and Hephaestion's love that Bagoas had healed throughout the years.

 

Knowing what had happened to Bagoas in the past also made him feel hesitant. Yes, Bagoas had assured him that he had healed and that he had left his past behind him, but was that really the case? If it had been him who had been castrated and forced into slavery in his first life and made into a prostitute in his second, he wasn't sure he would have bounced back.

 

"You look troubled." Bagoas had risen from the couch because he had wanted to collect their coats, but had detoured into the kitchen upon seeing Francisco's worried expression.

 

Francisco saw no reason to lie and simply spoke the truth. To him, honesty was one of the most important aspects when it came down to having a successful relationship. "I was remembering what happened to you in the past."

 

Bagoas raised an eyebrow. "I worked through all that. Hephaistion helped me find my place in life."

 

Francisco moistened his lips. It was a habit that revealed just how nervous he felt. "Bagoas, should we ever get intimate…is there something I need to be aware of?"

 

Bagoas blinked. For some reason he hadn't expected Francisco to be *that* direct so early in their relationship. They had only shared a few kisses and now Francisco was inquiring about *that*. "I have no hang-ups, Francisco. Nothing you do will spook me. I have had ample time to leave all that behind me."

 

"I find that hard to believe," Francisco whispered while maintaining eye contact.

 

Bagoas shrugged his shoulders once. "It took me a long time to trust Hephaistion, especially once we started to become intimate, but once I made the decision to trust myself to him, I stopped being afraid of such intimacy. It might be hard to understand for you, but what happened to me in my second life wasn't something new. I had learned to deal with such enforced 'intimacy' during my first life." Bagoas raised his hands and placed them on either side of Francisco's face. "Hephaistion taught me that there is so much more out there – devotion, unconditional love, friendship, and trust. I am capable of offering you all that. I am whole again, Francisco."

 

Francisco cocked his head and Bagoas' hand moved to cup his cheek. Francisco smiled and leaned into the caress, almost purring due to the pleasure which Bagoas' touch brought. "I want to offer you the same things, Bagoas, but I can't simply dismiss what happened to you in your past. It makes me hesitant to touch you."

 

"Thank you for being so honest with me," Bagoas answered. It meant a lot to him that Francisco already trusted him that much! "I realize that it will take time for us to test the waters, but please, Francisco, don't be afraid to touch me. I want you to touch me, to hold me and kiss me. I won't freak out on you." The tender expression in Francisco's eyes told Bagoas that the other man was just worried about him and that meant that Francisco really cared about him!

 

Francisco moved closer and enfolded Bagoas in a loose hug. "This will take time." But he was more than willing to try.

 

Bagoas smiled, leaned in closer, and pressed a kiss onto Francisco's lips. "We have all the time we need, don't we?"

 

Francisco nodded and then grew aware of Peritas, who was sitting next to them on the floor with his leash in his mouth. "I think he is trying to tell us something."

 

Bagoas laughed. "I promised to take him for a walk. Will you join us?"

 

Francisco nodded. "I will." He kept one arm curled around Bagoas' waist as they made their way toward the front door, but was forced to release the other man so he could slip into his coat. Once he had buttoned up, he claimed Bagoas' right hand and curled his fingers tightly around it.

 

Bagoas actually felt shy as Francisco kept touching him. During their conversation in the kitchen, he had been afraid that Francisco wouldn't be able to forget about his past...a past which didn't really bother him any longer. Hephaistion's love had healed him and it was Hephaistion's devotion that had enabled him to take the lead where his relationship with Francisco was concerned.

 

They left the cottage and stopped in their tracks to soak up the warmth which the sun's rays offered. Smiling at each other, they walked, hand in hand.

 

~~~

 

Francisco repeatedly stole looks at Bagoas. The long, raven hair danced against the small of Bagoas' back and the breeze toyed with the dark strands since Bagoas hadn't bothered to put it into a pony tail before they had ventured out.

 

Bagoas smirked, feeling Francisco's eyes on him. It was obvious that the other man liked what he saw.

 

Peritas, walking slightly ahead of them, had set his mind on visiting with Bucephalus and guided the two men toward the stallion's shelter.

 

Bagoas tightened his hold on Francisco's fingers and glanced at the older man. Francisco was blushing and that sight made Bagoas' heart beat a little faster. There was no denying it: he had utterly fallen for Francisco.

 

Growing a bit bolder, Francisco pulled Bagoas closer, freed his hand of Bagoas' hold, and wrapped it around Bagoas' waist instead. He eased his upper body against Bagoas' and his head bobbed against Bagoas' shoulder with each step he took. The long hair teased against his face and Francisco loved feeling the gentle caress the strands bestowed onto his face. They didn't talk – neither of them felt the need to do so.

 

~~~

 

They spent some time with Bucephalus, checked on the state of his shelter, gave him ample water and food, and then started their trek back to the cottage.

 

Hand in hand.

 

~~~

 

"Bagoas, what are your plans for *that*?" Feeling a tad apprehensive, Francisco arched an eyebrow at seeing Bagoas spread a mat onto the floor of the living room. The mat sported dots in all kinds of colors and it looked vaguely familiar to him, but he couldn't exactly remember where he had seen it before.

 

"It was a Christmas present and we didn't get to use it yet. It is a game called Twister," Bagoas explained while wiggling an eyebrow. "I thought it would keep us entertained until it's time to fix dinner."

 

"Twister? Bagoas, you can't be serious!" Yes, he remembered seeing people maneuver themselves into impossible positions during this game!

 

"Why not?" Bagoas gave Francisco a lopsided grin. "It is the perfect way to find out just how flexible we are!"

 

Francisco enjoyed bantering with Bagoas, but in the end, he gave in and agreed to play the game. "You start."

 

Bagoas discarded the spinner as it would be impossible to spin it once the two of them were sprawled over the mat. "Put your left foot on yellow." He would start simple enough.

 

Francisco complied and then looked questioningly at Bagoas.

 

"And now you tell me what to do." Bagoas had a feeling he was going to enjoy this!

 

Francisco's eyes narrowed as he realized that he would get his moments to make things difficult on Bagoas. "Left hand on red."

 

Bagoas did as he was told and wiggled an eyebrow. "Right foot on green."

 

Okay, Francisco could do that without having to bend that much. Maybe it was time for some payback. "Right hand on yellow."

 

Bagoas accepted the challenge and moved closer to Francisco. Reaching across Francisco he put his hand on the dot, but as a result of his move, Francisco had to move with him and was awkwardly leaning backwards. "Left foot on red."

 

Francisco arched an eyebrow. That meant he had to reach beneath Bagoas. He did so and squirmed, having to maintain a most uncomfortable position. "I will need to stretch before we play this game again."

 

Bagoas chuckled and almost lost his balance. He managed to maintain his position, but had learned his lesson. "Right hand on green."

 

Francisco gnashed his teeth. "That's impossible!"

 

"Come on. Show me how bendy you are." Bagoas gave Francisco the cheekiest grin he was capable of.

 

Francisco did his best. He really did, but he lost his balance and tumbled forward, dragging Bagoas down with him. They ended both up on the floor, with Francisco on his back and Bagoas atop of him. Staring into each other's eyes, smiles surfaced on their faces. Francisco raised a hand and rested it at the nape of Bagoas' neck. He just knew what was going to happen next – Bagoas was going to kiss him, at least he hoped so. He had taken his leap of faith when he had opened up to Bagoas earlier in the kitchen. That had been the moment when he had decided they could work out – and that he would do his best to make this work.

 

Bagoas was the opposite of Jared in so many ways and Francisco felt like he could entrust the other man with his heart, which felt fragile at times. "Are you going to kiss me?" Francisco whispered when Bagoas' lips continued to hover near his, but refused to lock with his yet.

 

"Do you want me to kiss you?" Bagoas gave Francisco a sweet smile. He had long read the answer to his question in those dark eyes, but he wanted to hear Francisco say so as well.

 

"Yes, I want that. I want you to kiss me…and hold me." Admitting his needs had never been so easy before with any of his lovers. There was something about Bagoas that made him feel at ease.

 

"I can do that." Bagoas pushed one arm beneath Francisco and pulled him close. With the other hand, he caressed the dark hair. He finally leaned in closer, covering the distance between them, and kissed Francisco. It was a kiss which started out innocently enough, but before both men knew what was happening, the kiss was deepening and tongues met in a sensual dual.

 

Francisco moaned into Bagoas' mouth and briefly closed his eyes to savor this sweet sensation. Being kissed by Bagoas and held by his future lover felt so right – almost like they were meant to be.

 

Bagoas felt it too. He reluctantly broke the kiss and, while panting softly, searched Francisco's eyes. He had promised Francisco to take it slowly, but he wasn't certain he could honor his promise. At that moment, there was just one question which he wanted to ask the older man and that was: 'Will you stay with me?' It wouldn't matter much to Bagoas if they lived there or at Francisco's home in London. None of that mattered as long as Francisco was close.

 

"What's happening to us?" At first, Francisco had thought that he was the only one being affected by this vortex of feelings that was pulling him in, but as he looked into Bagoas' eyes, the same emotions he was experiencing were reflected there. "You feel it too."

 

Bagoas nodded his head once. His fingers caressed Francisco's face and a fingertip eventually trailed the outline of a trembling bottom lip. "Can it be that we are falling in love? Hard?"

 

Francisco felt entranced as he stared into Bagoas' eyes. The other man was so close, covering him with his upper body, and that handsome face was only inches away from his. Taking the initiative, he raised his hands, placed them on either side of Bagoas' head, and forcefully pulled his lover close.

 

Bagoas gave in most willingly to Francisco's sweet kiss. It appeared that Francisco had made his decision...had decided to take the leap of faith. Francisco trusted him to be the lover he needed and Bagoas wanted nothing more than to make Francisco happy for as long as he lived.

 

Yes, this was love in its purest form and the best thing about it was that Francisco loved *him* – and just him! Not just *his* life was about to change drastically – no, *their* life was about to change and with Francisco at his side, Bagoas felt strong and brave enough to face whatever the future had in store for them!

 

The End


End file.
